KoopaTV's June 2023 Review Newsletter — The FINAL Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You'll want to read this entire newsletter if you care even a little about KoopaTV!

I don't want to write this newsletter, since I know what it represents (and you should click that link if you don't understand why it's the last newsletter), and it's not something I like.

For more information on that, read to the end of this newsletter.

Don't miss KoopaTV's new videogame, Fire Withdraw!

You might not have expected KoopaTV to publish a videogame on the Sunday before this newsletter was to go out. But it happened! It's a very rare and fortunate event. ...And you ought to go play Fire Withdraw, too, instead of just marveling at its existence. You can play Fire Withdraw directly from KoopaTV for free, even. (Play it on a PC.)

The answer to the second question should be “Yes” if you focus hard enough.
But you gotta prove it!

Hm, I'm just now reminding myself that I (or multiple people) need to go update the TV Tropes pages for both our videogames and our website as a whole.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of June 2023

June 2023 was pretty much the only month of KoopaTV's ten-year history where I had a plan for what to publish on every day of the month. However, FakE3 events kept popping up that needed a Reaction Log, so that bumped off content that will now just never exist. ...So it's hard to pick just five articles from a month that had a lot of high-intent works, several of which I've wanted to write for YEARS. Here's my attempt (that ends up omitting all of those Reaction Logs) in chronological order:

1. Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl Resolved Many of Diamond & Pearl's Release-Era Issues — This article exists on the theory that the issues identified near when a game is initially released are more authentic problems than those that crop up several years later, which are prone to outside influences and unrelated biases. Based on that, Ludwig compared the noted negatives of Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl a decade and a half ago with what Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl did, to try to mend the latter's poor fan reputations.
2. The Mushroom Kingdom Hyperinflation and its Problem for the Koopa Clan — The monetary mismanagement caused by Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom causes great damage to the Koopa Kingdom, and that's why Koopa Kingdom's interventions are justified.
3. Pokémon Stadium Kids Club Minigame Tier List — There are nine minigames in Pokémon Stadium—which are the worst and which are the best? And why?
4. Mario's Subcon Dream Comes From Childhood Memories — There is a very close tie between Mario dreaming about Subcon compared to his memories as a baby, which this article explores.
5. Left-Handedness Deserves More Recognition — The left-handed witch, Witch Princess, discusses her difficulties operating in a world and gaming ecosystem designed for right-handed people.

Hm, that's overwhelmingly biased towards the last week of June. In times like that, I'll say that every KoopaTV article is worth reading and checking out. And you ought to do just that. Especially since there won't be any new articles coming out—so you'll be able to much more easily catch up than ever before! Now... let's move on to the user-generated parts (and afterwards, a big list of KoopaTV prize winners, and concluding thoughts you'll want to see):

KoopaTV's May 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the second-to-last one of these newsletters.

Let us dive into headlines and I'll spare you the introductory paragraph.

KoopaTV's End of Content Notice

I hope you haven't missed this notice published on KoopaTV's 10-year anniversary. Unlike most of the other years where we just pat ourselves on the shell, this anniversary article provided valuable information: KoopaTV will stop publishing new content after July 3, 2023 (which will be the June 2023 review newsletter linked at the bottom of this very article once it exists). For reasoning on why, read that article and then come back here.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of May 2023

This was a very tough thing to just pick only FIVE of the MANY amazing KoopaTV articles published in May 2023. Here is my chronologically ordered attempt:

1. True, the Advance Wars Trilogy's Story isn't Serious — FAKE NEWS Kotaku evaluated Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp based on something it wasn't trying to be. In fairness to them (and because it's an issue KoopaTV cares about), we evaluated their evaluation.
2. KoopaTV's Failed Attempt at Building THE MIGHTY BOWSER — Ludwig and Witch Princess attempted to build the LEGO set The Mighty Bowser in front of the Koopa King himself. As our review reveals, it didn't work out as planned.
3. The Surprising Similarities Between Sticker Star and Breath of the Wild — The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was built on the foundation that Paper Mario: Sticker Star created. This article goes into great depth about it.
4. The Mighty Bowser VERSUS The Bootleg Bowser — This meme-filled article compares the costly but high-quality The Mighty Bowser LEGO set with the cheaper but bootlegged Bowser brick sets you can buy online.
5. Ash Ketchum Failed His Torterra as a Pokémon Trainer — For KoopaTV's final World Turtle Day article, we discuss that twerp Ash Ketchum and how he was a terrible Pokémon Trainer for his Torkoal, Grotle, and Torterra.

Everything on KoopaTV is worth reading! Even if it's not in this top five (or prior newsletters’ top fives), you ought to still check it out!

Ten Years Completed of KoopaTV... but this anniversary is where it ends

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An explanation of His Majesty's royal decree and what that means for KoopaTV.

Thank you, if you've been around KoopaTV for the ten years it has been established. Yes, KoopaTV launched on May 12, 2013. It's now May 12, 2023. I suppose it's unlikely anyone has been around since Day 1, but, eh, congrats if you've been close enough.

You may be wondering why KoopaTV has Round 50 (May 1 2023 to June 30 2023) of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program be its last round. That would be because KoopaTV will not continue after that point. I'll get into the reasons throughout this article, but essentially, it's because the big man that we even have this site for, King Bowser Koopa, no longer believes it is a good use of Koopa Kingdom's resources to continue to operate KoopaTV.

By the way, this is the real King Bowser Koopa. With real scales, not a Trojan cardboard fake (like the last time “Bowser” demanded KoopaTV end). We confirmed this as the Big KoopaTV Staff Meeting in April, and that's when we got his official orders. That also means that we have finally ended our Sierra Leone office lease. So... why is this happening? A lot of the problems are around product-market fit.

KoopaTV's April 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We have VERY big news to share, so read the entire newsletter. Carefully.

Hey, it's May!

Good job to you for surviving this long. Good job to us, too. It's felt like a rough whirlwind, yeah? Well, we have a number of items to share in the newsletter that focus less on April 2023 and more on things going on after May 1, 2023, but I'm still going to review April, too. Here's some proof:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of April 2023

Even though we had three days off from April 2023, we also had an additional day on (Saturday, April 1) that wouldn't normally happen, so I'm comfortable going with a top five instead of a top four. It's certainly a tough competition even at five:

1. The Short History of the Disrespected DK Rap — In basically every opportunity the DK Rap has had since 2001, it has been shafted and disrespected in some way. The Super Mario Bros. Movie leaving Grant Kirkhope's name out of its credits is just one of a long line of examples.
2. LEGO Super Mario Character Pack Series 6, Wendy O. Koopa in the Creativity Toolbox, and Pom Pom on a Balloon Ride — Ludwig plays catch up on wave 6 of the LEGO Super Mario series, and in the process, uncovers several storylines that further prove his on-going point that Mario is a vicious and evil man who must be stopped.
3. Alex Jones Is Wrong About Mario Hallucinating Koopas — American talk personality Alex Jones is correct that Mario is a bad guy, but in the process of making his point, he stated that Koopas are a product of a drug-induced hallucination on Mario's part. KoopaTV takes great issue with that claim.
4. The Truths About the FAIRtax — After listening to the media and politicians lie about the plan, Ludwig writes several truths about the FAIRtax, a national consumption tax plan in the United States, based on common objections and questions he has encountered.
5. SEEK POWER! Power Versus Wisdom Versus Courage Splatfest! — The upcoming Splatfest asks you which you should seek of power, wisdom, or courage. The choice to KoopaTV is clear: MORE POWER. Ludwig explains why.

Hm, tough competition didn't do it justice. April 2023 was a SPECTACULAR month for KoopaTV content. I'm (still) impressed by my own output. Hopefully, you are too. Everything, even if not listed above, is worth reading. There were several things I wanted to include but couldn't! The above list was created in chronological order of when it was published, by the way.

KoopaTV's March 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Will this newsletter end on a good note?

Welcome to KoopaTV's newsletter reviewing the month of March 2023!

A lot happened in that month, and a lot will continue happening in this month and forward. (No, we're not all taken over by artificial intelligence yet.) So let's get into it.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of March 2023

Unlike last year, I'm not going to dedicate this section to a gimmick:

1. MAR5 Day 2023: Mars, puRUGly (Purbeauty!), and gLAMEow — Purugly gets a lot of undeserved criticism. This article dispels much of the unfair attacks of Team Galactic Commander Mars's signature cat.
2. American Legislators Would Rather Save Daylight Than Save Americans — KoopaTV shares more of the science provided by the Save Standard Time group on why countries, including the United States of America, ought to be on permanent Standard Time and abolish Daylight Saving Time.
3. The Koopalings’ Formerly Green Shells — This is a very personal article for me, and one I should've written a long time ago. It's about how my shell used to be green, as was the case for most of my other siblings.
4. Implications of the Playing for the Planet Alliance 2022 Report (and the Green Game Jam) and its Statistical Falsehoods — If you haven't read this article, you really ought to. Not enough people are talking about this. This affects gamers as many of the top game companies are conspiring with the United Nations to put in environmentalist propaganda into your videogames, and they're justifying it with a fraudulent survey. I go deep into the numbers to demonstrate how they're lying to you and how that's dangerous.
   
5. Nessie versus Aliens versus Big Foot: Bad Splatfest Idea, But We Must Pick a Side! — This article is about the worst Splatfest idea of Splatoon 3 so far (and hopefully it doesn't get worse from here). By the way, KoopaTV's pick, Team Nessie, won the Splatfest.

There are several really good articles that I wanted to put into the Top Five but didn't, due to a lack of additional space. March 2023 was a good month for KoopaTV, and every article is worth reading.

KoopaTV's February 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It feels like we're getting closer to... something?

Welcome to this month's KoopaTV newsletter, reviewing the month of February 2023! This month may have been shorter than usual, but that just means there were about one to three less KoopaTV articles published in the month than a normal month. (That's how you should measure how good a month was, by how good KoopaTV was. ...And, like, you should think that way even when you're not browsing this site.)

Let's judge ourselves...together! Which means KoopaTV judges KoopaTV, and then KoopaTV judges YOU.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of February 2023

Here were the top five articles published in February 2023, listed in chronological order. February 2023 only had twenty articles, so one in four of them are showing up here! That's a more generous fraction than usual, because more articles to choose from makes it more difficult to come up with a top five. That's the benefit of us having such consistently terrific content to experience.

1. Favourite Chocolate Splatfest: Milk Fans and Chocolate Lovers Alike Choose Milk Chocolate — Both Ludwig (a milk fan) and Witch Princess (a chocolate lover) chime in on why you should (have) supported Team Milk Chocolate in the favourite chocolate Splatfest. Features photographs of Ludwig eating milk and dark chocolates.
2. Saturday Night Live's "HBO Mario Kart Trailer" is an Improvement over "Wario" — Saturday Night Live revisited doing skits based off our world, and their parody of how HBO does videogame-based shows is way better than what they did in 2022. This is an actual review of their humour and set-up.
3. Reggie Fils-Aime vs. Masahiro Sakurai: Competing with the Past or Competing for Time? — Masahiro Sakurai believes that modern videogames compete with other modern videogames; Reggie Fils-Aime believes that modern videogames compete not only with modern AND past videogames, but any form of entertainment or activity that uses up free time. Who is right?
4. Cool, the Media Believes the Mario Bros. are Plumbers Again — Once upon a time, the FAKE NEWS told you that the Mario Brothers are no longer plumbers. They've since changed their mind, but what they're still not telling you are that their plumbing business is quite extortionist and predatory.
5. The Widely Agreed Upon Travesty of White Chocolate Winning the Favorite Chocolate Splatfest — KoopaTV's very first (and only?) multi-guest article, featuring many contributors from the Splatoon 3 community that are collectively outraged that Team White Chocolate won the favourite chocolate Splatfest. Also features a photograph of Ludwig eating white chocolate.

That... White Chocolate article (classified as Guest Art) is an experience rarely seen on KoopaTV, so you really want to check that out. But you'll also want to check out its prequel where the staff was for Milk Chocolate. Fortunately, both were fantastic and both were published in February 2023, so both get to be featured here! ...Ah, and by the way, you should go through all of the experiences published on KoopaTV. They're worth it in one way or another, and build on a canon.

KoopaTV's January 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KOOPATV...ENGAGE!

Did you manage to get through the first month of 2023? (And if you feel excluded from the question because you follow another calendar system...too bad.) New Years feels like a very long time ago. In that time until now, there were... twenty-two KoopaTV articles published! Maybe that's enough to make you feel like there's been a considerable distance in time and experiences.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of January 2023

Speaking of experiences, how about we go over my personal top five recommended KoopaTV experiences published last month? These are listed in chronological order:

1. Which Music Plays in Which Alterna Kettle in Splatoon 3 — Whether you're coming to the article because you want to listen to Splatoon 3's great story mode music, or you're coming to it because you want to listen to specific music in-game and you want to know which stages it plays in, this article is a fantastic resource for new Agent 3s.
2. KoopaTV's GOTY 2022 Awards! — What better article to showcase in a showcase of January 2023 articles than an article that showcases 2022...? ...Well, it's a good showcase.
3. Kirby Air Ride Game Concept, as explained by Masahiro Sakurai — After much anticipation, did Masahiro Sakurai's Kirby Air Ride Game Concepts video meet my expectations? Well... some, but not all of them. I provided my deep commentary in the article.
4. Splatoon 3's Turf War and Anarchy Modes Aren't Luck-Based in a Tournament Setting — Splatoon 3 not only has a lot to talk about for music and story, but also its gameplay, community, and the (limited) impact of its RNG in determining a given match's outcome.
5. Today, I Played GoldenEye 007 for the First Time Ever — I hope I made it pretty clear in this article that I pretty much had an existential crisis while playing GoldenEye 007, and that I saw a whole parallel universe version of me flash before my eyes where I played the game in the 1990s and how different I would end up being if I did so. It totally surpassed my expectations (I expected to trash the game instead of enjoying it).

There are several articles that didn't get to make it into that top five that could have. Every article on KoopaTV is worth experiencing, so you ought to do JUST THAT!

KoopaTV's December 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A quick month in a tiresome year.

I wasn't personally a big fan of 2022, though if I had to live through 2022 all over again to get Phoenix Wright in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, I would.

Regardless, this newsletter is about reviewing December 2022, specifically. So far, I've been good at realising it's 2023. But December 2022 was also... mixed, like 2022 as a whole, and today I thought that January was actually an extension of December. With regards to KoopaTV content, however, it was great! But before we get into that, a personal update:

Coronavirus Status

If you missed it, I finally fell victim to the Chinese Communist Party Virus at the end of December. My symptoms have been reduced to coughing fits whenever I speak (and sometimes even if I'm quiet), and low energy and needing to take long naps and sleep. Sleep is good, however, but these coughs are rather disruptive. Now, moving onto the non-personal part of the newsletter:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of December 2022

This difficult-to-make list (because I only have five slots and there's more experiences I'd like to show off than five) is presented in chronological order within the month of December 2022. Check these out:

1. Butch and Cassidy are Emotionally Insecure, Unlike the Rest of Team Rocket — I look at Butch and Cassidy's few lines of dialogue in Pokémon Puzzle League and how their coworkers, Jessie and James, view them... to come to a conclusion about the duo that not many other people have thought of.
2. Ring Fit Adventure Game Gym Minigame Tier List — I discussed the twelve minigames in Ring Fit Adventure and ranked them from least to most favourite! First Ring Fit Adventure content since KoopaTV Fitness Friday ended in March 2022.
3. The Potential of One Button, and the Square Enix Winter Sale 2022 Putting BALAN WONDERWORLD Last — Masahiro Sakurai's video about the potential of one button is just about one button, but it's (always) a good time to bash Yuji Naka's game design of BALAN WONDERWORLD for being one button and the control stick when it should've had more.
4. Microsoft is Correct and FTC is Wrong on Activision-Blizzard Takeover — KoopaTV read through the formal documents from the Federal Trade Commission and the response from Microsoft as they fight on allowing Microsoft to acquire Activision-Blizzard-King... and comes to the conclusion the proposal is legal and pro-consumer.
5. The Correct Choice in the Favourite Taste Sensation Splatfest — As of publishing, there's still time for you to choose a Splatfest team in Splatoon 3. This article convinces you that the right taste sensation to like the most is sweet.

You should also check out everything else published on KoopaTV, even if those things aren't on the above list. You won't regret it.

KoopaTV's November 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ew, we're in December.

I am not a big fan of the month of December, so before I have to fully commit to thinking about that, let's review November 2022. That's what this newsletter is dedicated to! Except the very last section of it. That one is looking forward.

November was great. Here's some evidence:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of November 2022

Here are my personal top five recommended KoopaTV experiences listed in chronological order, published in November 2022:

1. HARVESTELLA: From a Farm Sim Fan's Perspective — Witch Princess is finally back to penning articles and wrote about the HARVESTELLA demo from her perspective. She isn't on-board with it.
2. Team Grass-type in the Pokémon Partner Splatfest — Why KoopaTV was on Team Grass in the recent November Splatfest.
3. My Panda Cup Online Qualifiers 2022 Experience — Ludwig played in four Panda Cup Online Qualifiers and the regional qualifier finale. How well did he represent KoopaTV in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate?
4. Farm Sim Mechanics (and Gender) Degraded HARVESTELLA — Ludwig joined in to write KoopaTV's third article with impressions from the HARVESTELLA demo. He was quite critical of its mechanics.
5. Disgraced Game Developer Yuji Naka Arrested for Suspicions of Insider Trading — Yuji Naka is not only a bad guy, but also dumb, and got arrested for insider trading. Ludwig makes fun of him.

Well... it might be unpopular to talk about the Panda Cup at the moment given recent controversy, but it was still a really good article. Pretty much every other article on KoopaTV is also worth experiencing, even if it didn't make this list! Tough list, too.

KoopaTV's October 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An epic battle to be in the family. What will the holiday round look like?

I think October 2022 was a great month on KoopaTV. A great month for the world. The universe. ...Far from a perfect month, of course. Mario+Rabbids Sparks of Hope came out. That makes me feel angry inside and out, and I purposefully never wrote about it in the month so I can not get an aneurysm. Maybe I should get one of those in November instead.

In terms of KoopaTV's contribution to October, let's see what went on at this website during October 2022:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of October 2022

KoopaTV had strong and engaging content published during October 2022. Here's me trying to narrow that down to just five articles, listed in chronological order (I might have some recency bias in these):

1. Sukkot-Celebrating Sirfetch'd Secured Four Species — Did you ever associate the Pokémon Sirfetch'd with the Jewish religion? After reading this article, you'll learn something new about Jewish lore and how Sirfetch'd follows it. (Features an illustration by ShinyGirafarig.)
2. Hellena Taylor Wants You to Boycott Bayonetta 3 Because of her Personal Problem — Hellena Taylor sure was a hot topic in October, and KoopaTV was ahead of the curve on not trusting what she had to say.
3. Why People Don't Like Fandom Wikis — The Fandom corporation is trying to take over everything (except KoopaTV... so far). This article goes into detail on why that's a bad thing.
4. HARVESTELLA Demo First Impressions — Long-time commenter and first-time guest author Lheticus Videre wrote his first impressions on the HARVESTELLA demo here! They're nicely written.
5. Mehmet Oz vs. John Fetterman: October 25, 2022 Debate Write-up — Prof. Oz and Omega Fetterman verbally duke it out in their only debate for the sake of a Pennsylvanian United States Senate seat...and I was shocked at how it went. Very important if you're in Pennsylvania.

Every experience on KoopaTV is worth experiencing. ...Yeah, that's redundant. Every experience on KoopaTV is worth your attention! Not just the five in the list above. I'd give examples, but that's cheating. Two of the articles on the list have an in-month sequel or an in-month prequel that are also important to read.

KoopaTV's September 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Pretty good roughing and tumbling.

We are looking ahead to the final quarter of 2022, and we passed the actual end date of summer. What does that mean for KoopaTV? ...Nothing special in particular.

In light of that, let's just go right into this the staple newsletter content:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of September 2022

Here are my five picks (and the great thing is that you might disagree with me!) for the top five articles you must check out from September 2022, provided in chronological order:

1. Ranking the No More Heroes 3 Volunteer Mission Minigames — Have you ever wondered about the minigame selection in No More Heroes 3 and how those hold up? I ranked them all here.
2. Truth vs. Illiberal Murderers; Salman Rushdie and Jeff German — It's not a good world when you might get murdered for trying to tell the truth. (And you may also get murdered for trying to make jokes.)
3. Why a Chaotic Genius Brings Gear to a Deserted Island…and for Splatfest, You Should Too! — Fun fact: Team Gear won the Splatfest, which makes my reasoning in this article on why you should pick Team Gear tried and true. (No one could intelligently argue against it either.)
4. 15+ Years after Nintendo NSider Forums Closed, Reunite HERE! — Nintendo of America's Nintendo NSider Forums have closed 15 years ago now, and for those that remember and cared about their time there (such as myself), there's a Discord server ran by former Knights of Hyrule for reuniting people who've been part of Nintendo's old official online communities.
5. Amazing Penguin — The best game you’ve never heard of — KoopaTV reader Captain Stitch wrote a review of an old Game Boy puzzle game called Amazing Penguin. He thinks fondly of it.

You really should read all of the articles that were published in September 2022, not just these five. They're all worth reading. But I'm particularly proud of these five being on this website.

KoopaTV's August 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the beginning of the end of the year.

Summer isn't actually my favourite season, but I always like the idea of a portion of my friends and readers no longer being bound to daily schooling duties. (Doesn't affect employed people... unless they're teachers or something.) I know that a lot of people (LIKE IN EUROPE) go on vacation for massive amounts of the summer. Is keeping up with KoopaTV part of that vacation routine? Maybe, maybe not. ...I think it's mostly not. But, hey, that's a reason why we have these monthly newsletters reviewing the previous month. Maybe you'll get inspired to catch up in more detail than what's covered here.

I do have several stories in this newsletter, so let's dive into it and remember the last full month of summer. (Though it's still summer for several more weeks in September.)

FeedBurner email subscriptions FINALLY stopped

Despite Google's declaration that the FeedBurner email subscription service would be discontinued after July 2021, anyone who has subscribed to receive KoopaTV articles directly to their email inbox through that kept getting emails. I'd know, since I'm on my own list. After several months of emails continued to be sent, I concluded that Google just forgot to turn it off and ended it at that.

The last automated email I ever got from them was July 24, 2022, featuring my article about the LIVE A LIVE demo and its release. And that's it. So I guess it's finally over.

KoopaTV's new official email subscription method is with follow.it: subscribe by clicking here. I'm using the free version of it, so it's a bit inferior than what FeedBurner provided. But I asked y'all if it's worth paying for additional and customisable features, and the answer I got was no.

Top Four Recommended Experiences of August 2022

What's that? Four? Well, it's only fair. There was a whole vacation break week in the second week of August 2022, so going from five featured articles to four featured articles when there were 20 to 25% less articles is proportionate. Though this was a tough list to make, so I could easily fit five articles here:

KoopaTV's July 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Stay inside and read KoopaTV!

Unless you're in the southern part of Earth (or not on Earth at all), you've probably been experiencing some very hot temperatures. KoopaTV's staff recommends that you stay inside from the heat and humidity, drink water, and keep yourself entertained with KoopaTV-published content. ...And I guess play some videogames.

Every KoopaTV month, in terms of absolute value, is great and better than what you'd see from our non-existent comparable competitors. We've been doing this for over nine years now, and I still haven't found anyone like us. ...But if they are out there, I wonder if they know about KoopaTV? Well, the important part is that YOU know about KoopaTV, and even if you're in a relatively mediocre month like July, it's still better than basically anything else.

Upcoming Vacation for a Week in August

I know that me taking a vacation is very very rare, but that's what I'll be doing next week, so no articles (or responding to comments or social media) the week of August 8. ...I'm not telling y'all where I'll be, since I don't want to see you. Please understand. I'll respond to everything when I'm back!

Top Five Recommended Experiences of July 2022

I said July 2022 was a relatively mediocre month on KoopaTV. But are you really able to tell that with these five highlighted articles, listed in chronological order?

1. Took Me Over 21 Years to Learn Zero Wing's Voice-Acting is Fan-Made — This is the closest I got to subscribing to the Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack since they announced its existence. But then I learned a dark truth...
2. Dynamo Pictures Acquired; to be Nintendo Pictures — You might think this isn't an important story, and we don't know if it is yet, but did you know that Dynamo Pictures made an Ace Attorney Virtual Reality game? (Did you know that VR game existed?)
3. LEGO Super Mario: Character Pack 5, Iggy Koopa, and THE MIGHTY BOWSER — Oh, hey, the first two of these come out today. THE MIGHTY BOWSER comes out in two months. Anyway, I wrote about Koopa-filled LEGO stuff. Was nice.
4. LIVE A LIVE Relives on the Nintendo Switch; Out Now — I feel a special obligation towards LIVE A LIVE since it was the subject of a KoopaTV guest article a year ago, so I played its demo and gave my thoughts.
5. How did the Russian newspaper get on the SS Burya on Jan 9, 189X? — Fantastic article on what I believe to be a plothole in the second case of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. I thoroughly use in-game evidence to prove my point.

That last article about the newspaper is easily the best article of the month. ...But you should really play The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles before you go and read it. Fortunately, that's an excellent idea even if you don't intend to read that article.

KoopaTV's June 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We've lived through insignificance!

That June 2022 sure was a month, wasn't it? Normally we'd be coming out of June with great energy from the month's annual Electronic Entertainment Expo, but that wasn't a thing this year. And there was a lack of significant central events in its place (with the exception of the event that'll be mentioned in the top five recommended experiences section of this newsletter).

Ah, th-that's not to say that KoopaTV now is a low-energy publication publishing crap content. In fact, I have five pieces of evidence to the contrary:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of June 2022

Take a look (and click on them if the hyperlinks are blue instead of grey) at these great works published on KoopaTV in June, listed in chronological order:

1. SLEEP 2022: The Most Important Conference This Week! — The most important central event of June 2022 was the SLEEP 2022 conference, which Ludwig covered in this article, including reactions to several of the research abstracts presented.
2. Simultaneous Remove and Replace: The Case of the Dollar Discrepancy for Ace Attorney Trilogy Mobile — Ludwig investigated a curious discrepancy in the prices of the brand-new mobile re-ports of the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy. (This remains to this day.)
3. Star Wars: KOTOR2 Gamebreaking Bug Exposes Professional Game Reviewers as Frauds — If there's one article out there with definitive proof that professional reviewers and Metacritic is a fraudulent exercise, it's this.
4. I'd probably get Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes if it wasn't a "Warriors" game — Someone just can't get a committed interest in Musou games, even if it's been rather heavily Fire Emblem-ised. Has really fun screenshots.
5. Don't forget about those fake "insiders" and "leakers" for the June 2022 Nintendo Direct — It's not just game reviews that is fraudulent—media outlets in the gaming industry also recklessly publish FAKE NEWS but try to trick you into believing it's credible. (And then you keep trusting them after?)

I ought to mention, regarding STAR WARS: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords for the Switch, they released a hotfix yesterday (June 30) resolving the issue. Moving on to the next story...

KoopaTV's May 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Reviewing May so we can generate the power to survive June.

Thank you for being here for KoopaTV's newsletter reviewing May 2022. I think it was a good month, looking back. Do you feel the same way?

Historically around this point in the year, we are supposed to be hyping ourselves up for the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), which often supplies us with many things to talk about that lasts us for the rest of the year. But... E3 2022 won't be a thing this year, even if the official E3 website still claims it will.

I vow to boycott Geoff Keighley's Summer Game Fest. I don't consider the upcoming events by two of the console publishers to be part of that, but rather Geoff Keighley is trying to absorb something they'd do anyway into his umbrella to make himself look more important. So we'll cover those. And if there is something noteworthy or important that comes out of the Summer Game Fest... we can cover that individual item separately.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of May 2022

KoopaTV's published articles are core to your experience here, and there were many fantastic experiences published during May 2022. Here are just five of them, presented in chronological order. Even if an article isn't listed here, it's worth reading.

1. The 2021 and 2022 20th Anniversary Ace Attorney Orchestra Concert Differences — There are two separate concerts taking place during two separate years that can credibly claim to be 20th anniversary orchestral concerts for the Ace Attorney series—this article has a table and associated analysis of the different songs played between them.
2. KoopaTV's Nine-Year Anniversary, and a Free Speech Commitment — KoopaTV turned nine during May 2022, and wrote about how the number nine is associated with free speech, and how free speech is very much tied to KoopaTV's core philosophies.
3. About Authority in Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, and why Micaiah should've gotten Authority Stars — An in-depth view at the Authority Star mechanic in Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn and how it ties gameplay and story together... except for the miss of not giving any Authority Stars to the (arguably) main character.
4. What Got the Maddest Turtle of All Time so Mad — KoopaTV's World Turtle Day 2022 article features a viral video of a tortoise headbutting a human leather shoe. We theorise on why that tortoise did so, and it aligns nicely with several key themes we've been communicating to you for years.
5. Mario Got Smashed in the Face by a Strike Ball — What initially appears to be satisfying gratification of a Strike Ball landing on Mario's face in a Mario Strikers: Battle League commercial reveals a key insight into the relationship between Mario and Princess Peach.

By the way, when that Authority Stars article was originally published, I mentioned that I was working on publishing a video featuring Skrimir (who has two Authority Stars) and his green unit forces clear the prologue map of the third part all by themselves, without assistance from the player's forces, the Greil Mercenaries. I've now updated that article with the link to that video.

KoopaTV's Nine-Year Anniversary, and a Free Speech Commitment

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV's free speech values!

Today, KoopaTV is nine years old! Woohoo!

Can... can that be the whole content of the article? No? You want something with some production values and effort? Well, fine.

Since it's on people's minds lately (more than usual, with certain billionaires dabbling in social media platforms that we've previously derided as echo chambers), let's talk about FREE SPEECH. A concept that KoopaTV loves and regularly defends.

Why Free Speech for a Nine-Year Anniversary Article?

There are two things that come to my mind when I think about the number nine, which I've already made clear years ago when I wrote, “Should The Number Nine Be Nixed?” (That was in response to several product lines skipping the ninth version of something. Clearly, KoopaTV isn't skipping this one.) AND I associate both of those things with... FREE SPEECH. (I don't know why I keep capitalising that—I promise it's not something I always capitalise like I do with FAKE NEWS.)

Herman Cain, Nine, and Freedom of Speech

Herman Cain was a former Republican presidential candidate in 2011, famous for his 9-9-9 tax plan that would've replaced the current tax code. That's a 9% personal income tax, a 9% corporate income tax, and a 9% federal sales tax. He loved the number nine in other aspects of his life as well. His website, CainTV (which opened July 4, 2012—because real American patriots purposefully delay things until the next July 4), is the website that KoopaTV is a parody of. When he died, his staff decided to keep the site going, in his name. That site dismantled March 16, 2021, because it got way too weird. The last staffer there remarked about how it was “nine unforgettable years”—but people who know how to count know that it wasn't exactly nine years. It was eight years, eight months, and thirteen days, or 3,178 days total. Our article to commemorate that moment was this one in January of this year about a CAPCOM Lunar New Year Sale, because that's fitting, I guess. (And, what do you know, the CAPCOM Golden Week Sale is STILL going on as of publishing.)

Anywho, KoopaTV has very officially outlasted the website that we were founded to be a parody of. If we just stopped now, I'd feel pretty good about our run. And I wouldn't even have to die to make that happen. Ah, but, back to free speech...

As a political candidate and a commentator on both the web, as well as on the radio, Herman Cain welcomed diverse points of view and free speech. He railed against the lack of free speech on college campuses, and certainly employed freedom of speech of his own, to the point that callers came on the show and accused him of “verbal fellatio.” You can hear that in this clip:

KoopaTV's April 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The many going-ons of April 2022!

We got through another month together, KoopaTV fans and readers! And I thought April 2022 went by super quick. I mean, I gotta make decisions on what to do for the next round of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program ALREADY? It felt like I just gave the prize out for the last one, and now I gotta do that again.

But along with KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program-related stuff, we have other things to review in this newsletter reviewing April 2022. Starting with...

New Comments Form Experience

Added to the list of “so-called improvements that Google has made across all Blogger websites that no one asked for”, the comments section form to submit a new comment has been totally changed as of... sometime later in the month. (Sometime April 25?) I think it's worse. It used to be a box but it's just expandable white space now. But I'm also more concerned about if it actually works for everyone or not, since some folks in the support forum are saying that their comments section is now just broken and people can't actually comment things anymore.

If that applies to you, I ask that you email me at ludwig at koopatv dot org and let me know. (Obviously, if the comments section is really broken, you won't be able to use it to comment to me that it's broken.) For your information, there's no opt-in or opt-out to the change. It's forced upon me. ...Well, as far as I know. Maybe if I was more TECH-Y I could do something. Let me know if you actually like this more.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of April 2022

What kind of new articles were there to reply to? Check out this chronologically ordered list of experiences published in April 2022:

1. Humour Under Assault and Battery — When people believe that words are violence, you get things like Will Smith slapping comedians. Ludwig even got banned from somewhere for laughing at someone else's joke!
2. Censorship? Contrived Chrono Cross Controversy — Chrono Cross: The Radical Dreamers Edition is a new victim of the drive-by anti-censorship squad that reflexively moan about social justice warriors ruining games. But if you objectively look at what happened... there's no censorship and the whole outrage is laughable.
3. In a WEIRD (but real) Tweet, Miyamoto/Illumination Delay the Super Mario Bros. Film to Spring 2023 — There were a pair of tweets from Nintendo and from Illumination about the untitled Super Mario Bros. film. Illumination's was normal... and Nintendo's was strange. I dissected the Nintendo tweet line-by-line in this article.
4. Yes, Maya Fey Did Say Phoenix Wright is an Attention Whore — It's been a question in the Ace Attorney franchise—does Maya Fey have that much of a mouth on her that she's saying the phrase “attention whore”?
5. Don't Fall for Yuji Naka Trying to Redeem Himself or BALAN WONDERWORLD — Yuji Naka is trying to revise the commonly acknowledged development history of BALAN WONDERWORLD... but if you read between his lines like I did in the article, you can get to something closer to the real truth.

OF COURSE, everything on KoopaTV is worth reading, so be sure to... read everything!

KoopaTV's March 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Several announcements and a first for KoopaTV!

Today's March 2022 newsletter marks the first time in KoopaTV's entire history that we've been doing March newsletters (going back to 2014) where the March newsletter is published on April 1. Our monthly newsletters are SUPPOSED to be the first thing published in the month following the month that's being reviewed in the newsletter, but something's always come up that's either pushed that to later, or pulled it to be earlier, like being on the last day of March instead of the first day of April.

BUT that's not even the main reason why this year's March newsletter is cool. Nah, we got some breaking news:

KoopaTV introduces koopatv.eth, our first step into Web3!

KoopaTV now has a presence on Web3 technology, which will set Koopa Kingdom up for a future where this is the dominant generation of the Internet. KoopaTV staffer Kamek is the one in charge of this and really the expert behind what this means. He described it as “like the first pike hammered into the mountain on a climb... metaphorically, of course. Like claiming a land for your country. With a flag! An end-of-the-stage flag, even!”

I'm not really able to answer any questions about this technology or what it actually does, but Kamek will have an article coming in the near future, inspired by the request we got about writing an article about NFTs. koopatv.eth, according to Kamek, is itself a non-fungible token.

koopatv.eth is also an address that you can use to donate money to us with cryptocurrency, as “the official KoopaTV crypto wallet” (another Kamek quote). Rather than remembering the actual wallet address (0x9241089cf848cb30c6020ee25cd6a2b28c626744), koopatv.eth is a customised wallet address router. If you want to know how to acquire cryptocurrency and how to actually send currency from yourself to us, um... ask Kamek. Maybe he'll cover it in his article. Regardless of how complicated it is, this is actually the first real way you can donate to KoopaTV. Our continued existence doesn't depend on your support (it depends on King Bowser Koopa being willing to fund us), but we would appreciate it.

Ah, but that's not the only good news announcement to share in this newsletter:

KoopaTV's February 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ah, THIS is what you came for. Right?

Sorry about not publishing this yesterday. We were... rudely interrupted.

But here is the actual KoopaTV monthly newsletter, February 2022 edition! Published at the beginning of (but unfortunately not the first day of) March 2022 so we can properly review what happened in the month that just passed. Starting with...

Top Five Recommended Experiences of February 2022

Here are KoopaTV's top five recommended experiences published in chronological order during February 2022:

1. The Official Pokémon DP Sound Library (and thinking about The Wonderful 1237) — This is more here for The Wonderful 1237 discussion than the Sound Library, though that sounds nice, too!
2. Happy Valentine's Day to Incineroar and Clawroline — This article is recommended because it's important for you to know what kind of person runs this website.
3. 2023's Demise of the Wii U and 3DS Nintendo eShops (Explained!) — This article has a good combination of being informative AND opinionated, as it goes to details about the Wii U and 3DS eShop end-of-life timelines while giving facts about the Memories.
4. What I Think About the TRIANGLE STRATEGY Prologue Demo — A really great game is coming out this Friday! Here are Ludwig's thoughts on the demo.
5. Thoughts about Nintendo Switch Sports Online Play Test without violating the GAG ORDER — I'm mostly proud that KoopaTV hasn't gotten a DMCA request yet for publishing this, so I'd like to brag about that here.

Every article not on the above list is still worth reading, by the way.

KoopaTV Calendar for March 2022

I don't normally tell you ahead of time what my content calendar will be for the coming month, but I do want to note that there'll be even more weekend publishing for the first few weeks. Remember last year's Four Superior Nintendo Character Day Alternatives to MAR10 Day article? That wasn't a joke. We'll be doing articles for all five of those days as they happen in March. But a couple fall under weekends. I'd still like to publish five articles a week, so some weekdays might just end up... empty as a result.

This will mean that we won't be as timely as we'd like to be on the day's big news or whatever. We'll still get to it if it's interesting. Just not that day. Or that week. But I'd rather have an interesting topic backlog than the opposite.

KoopaTV's January 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What happened in round one of 2022?

You know what feels like a zillion years ago? Christmas 2021. January 2022 was just a very long month (and start of the new year, unless you believe in the supremacy of the Lunar New Year... in which case, now's the time!) that put a lot of distance between now and the end of 2021. So does that mean a lot happened in that time? That's what KoopaTV's January 2022 newsletter will attempt to review!

Top Five Recommended Experiences of January 2022

Of course, since this is KoopaTV, we look at what happened in a time period based on its KoopaTV articles. What do we do for eras before KoopaTV was founded? Uh... that depends! But anyway, here is a chronologically ordered list of the top five KoopaTV experiences published in January 2022:

1. KoopaTV's GOTY 2021 Awards! — If you wanted to review what happened in 2021 as a whole, this is the place. ...And there's some good writing on my part behind these awards as well!
2. Applying to Capcom Creators, and their unique terms and definitions — It seems like game publisher CAPCOM has gotten above and beyond in being inclusive in who they want in their new Creators programme... but they've excluded a key demographic that, of course, Ludwig is a part of...
3. No new Spirit Events in Smash Bros? Evil Ryu calls that FAKE NEWS! — If there's an article that you ought to read, it's this one, because it's a rare KoopaTV apology article. We got this very wrong.
4. Joe Biden Lifts Weight Restrictions from Bridges; Mario and Wario in bridge collapse "accident" — This crucial infrastructure-related article examines what fate is likely to come in the United States of America thanks to federal policy by looking at what's happened when those policies have been enacted in the world of Mario and Wario. It's a disaster. Literally.
5. China's Surprise at Beijing 2022 Olympics Diplomatic Boycotts when they Anally Swab Diplomats — I certainly don't enjoy writing the word “anally” in KoopaTV articles (or anywhere else), but this is important information. You might lose social credit for reading this or enjoying the accompanying custom meme, however.

By the way, I never applied to Capcom Creators, but I have seen many “content creators” (all of which are streamers and none of which are writers like me) celebrate that they got accepted into it. I haven't seen anything about what happens AFTER they get in. Also, within days of publishing that bridges article, a bridge collapsed in Pittsburgh hours before President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. was scheduled to give a speech there about infrastructure.

Anyway, all KoopaTV articles are worth reading, even if they didn't make it on this list!

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of January 2022

If you just read KoopaTV's articles... well, you're well ahead of the majority of your species. But the full KoopaTV experience involves your own commentary on our commentary! (And maybe even comment on one another's commentary.) So we're happy to highlight the best comments made in each month... and less happy to lowlight the worst comment as well: