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Friday, June 28, 2013

Miyamoto Always Arrives Late

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA — Unfortunately, he's no hero. ...He might not even arrive at all.

Shigeru Miyamoto isn't well-liked around these parts of KoopaTV. We've been calling for his retirement for many years now. Almost a decade, actually. Pretty much since F-Zero GX came out (or to be more accurate, after Pikmin 2 and Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door came out, so that'd be late 2004). Speaking of F-Zero GX, Miyamoto lately said the following to IGN about that franchise:

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Jessie Go Jr. Two Trailer

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Did I mention we're game developers?

If you haven't played the original Jessie Go Jr. Remedial Algebra, then you really should do that. It's the sequel to the beautiful NES game, Donkey Kong Jr. Math.

Here, for KoopaTV, is the trailer for the next game in the series, tentatively titled Jessie Go Jr. Two.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Ludwig Got His License

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Go congratulate me. ...NOW.

That title isn't just referring to my Town Development Permit from Animal Crossing: New Leaf. Nah, it's referring to my Driver's License. So I'm licensed... to drive. ...On the roads. And no thanks to Mario Kart Wii, which they actually had a copy of back in Driver's Ed. That Wii Wheel sucks.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Yoshi Is Trying Something a Little Different

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Could Nintendo Prevent Doom From Artoon?

There is a chance that Yoshi's New Island could be decent. There is no chance that it will be as good as the original Yoshi's Island since Arzest, the crappy company formed by Artoon people (also crappy), is doing the work. But it could be decent, according to information provided by Takashi Tezuka, the series producer in an IGN interview.

Speaking of the development team, Tezuka told me that Arzest, the developer behind Yoshi's Island DS, has joined Nintendo's designers once again to work on this project. Tezuka did note that Nintendo's role on New Island, which includes himself and developers from the New Super Mario Bros. projects, is to oversee level design.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Artemis Review - SUPER MEAT BOY!

By ARTEMIS - Because this game deserves a better reputation than it has.

Oh, this game. OH, THIS GAME. Infuriatingly difficult, but fun. SO FUN. It's Super Meat Boy by Edmund McMillen, folks. I'm going to review it to make you see what I see in it. Because this game is better than you might think.

Friday, June 21, 2013

EA distributed Kingdom Hearts? News to Me!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA — Unfortunately, that and more must be added to the boycott list.

While looking for things to write articles on, I decided to continue our fight against Electronic Arts. And so my search brought me to the story on "EA Spouse". However, we'll get to that in another article shortly. Long-story short, I was looking back on the SEC's repository of annual reports where something caught my eye.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Kirby Super Star's Marketing

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The falsehoods continue to this day.

With Kirby Super Star, designed by Masahiro Sakurai and HAL Laboratory, now on the Wii U Virtual Console, a whole new generation of gamers are now playing this Kirby gem. Well, no, that SHOULDN'T be true. Kirby Super Star Ultra, its remake, was released just in 2008! And it's so much better.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Future of the Red Cap

By SONGSING - It's pretty worn-out already.

The Mario Brothers franchise is widely considered to be the most popular videogame franchise of like, all time. Its gameplay, while now seen as fairly simple and obvious, was quite the gaming innovation back in the day. I mean, it got to the point where you were this plumber going around and jumping on Koopas and such. While this may not universally be considered a good thing, it was very addictive! What worries me, however, is how much further can this concept be stretched?

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Donning the Luigi Hat In Public

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yes, Luigi's hat gets an article here before the Smash 4 trailer does. Priorities.

 Apparently, some people took yesterday's article's message to be "Ludwig stole a hat from an official Nintendo representative". Allow me to explain, in detail, the full story.

There was a giant box full of Styrofoam Luigi hats brought in by the Nintendo rep. After you played the demo you signed up for on the sign-up sheet, you were allowed to take a hat and be off on your merry way. Three hours after the event started, it was my turn. I played Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze and finished the demo level. I turned to the box. There was only one Luigi hat inside. I took the hat. The Nintendo rep said that the hat was reserved for someone else, but she just sat there and watched — complacently — as I took the hat from out of the box and put it on my head. Why would the hat be reserved for anyone else? Either there were hats left or there weren't. The demos were completed one at a time. If there was still a hat left, then either someone didn't take their hat immediately after finishing the demo, or they "reserved" for when they were going to play sometime after I did. The former is fair game, and latter is cheating the system. That, or the Nintendo rep "reserved it" for her children or something, which is also unfair and/or stupid. I had the right to that hat! I earned it!

Monday, June 17, 2013

The Best Buy Experience (With Videos!)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Just like E3, without the booth babes.

Saturday I spent my day having a wonderful time at the closest Best Buy to my location (not telling you where) for Nintendo's E3 Experience! We saw and played Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD, Super Mario 3D World, and Mario Kart 8.

Friday, June 14, 2013

E3 2013 Winners and Losers

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm obviously biased.

Since E3 week is sadly ending, it's time we reflect on the most important week of the year. There really isn't much analysis here — It's fairly obvious who won and who lost.
  1. Nintendo
  2. Sony
  3. Ubisoft
  4. Electronic Arts
  5. Microsoft

Thursday, June 13, 2013

An E3 for Donkey Kong Fans

By RAWKHAWK2010 - An E3...that matters.

For those who frequented the Donkey Kong board on the Nintendo NSider Forums, you might remember that we were the most depressed lot on the entire site. Endless vitriol towards the Mario vs. Donkey Kong games for making Donkey Kong look like a braindead jackass, actually wondering if Donkey Kong was even going to be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl (lol), and well, let's face it, we were the living-under-a-bridge homeless dudes of the Nintendo fandom, relying on slices of moldy bread (aka GBA ports and Paon games) just to stay alive.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Suddenly I'm Not Excited for Yoshi on the 3DS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Can we get a vaccine already?

Back nearly a month ago, I wrote an article about why I was excited about seeing Yoshi's New Island (then only known as "Yoshi's Island 3DS") at E3. After all, Artoon was dissolved and inspiration was taken from the beautiful original game, and not Artoon's legion of bastardized derivations.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Ludwig's Live Reactions to Nintendo's E3 Presentation


Oh my gosh. We're... it's... WHOOOO. I can BARELY BREATHE. People around me are thinking I'm going to have a heart attack or something. My hype has gone over obsessive — all I can think about is Nintendo and its press conference. Last night, Sony destroyed Microsoft in a very long but destructive presentation. Unfortuntately, scheduling prevents me from being on AIM with the rest of my Koopa Keep buddies, so I'm doing my own individual live reaction. This is completely independent of what other people think, and I have no idea what my colleagues are thinking as we, and hundreds of thousands (millions?) of Nintendo fans all watch this presentation at the same time. I have no contact with them. No hivemind here. Just Ludwig, the livestream, and his Notepad document.

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Sony's E3 2013 Press Conference

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Xbox Done.

Blah blah blah blah blah. I'm RawkHawk2010, Ludwig Von Koopa is Nintendork 13 13, Kamek is Ultralink1000, YoshiRider is masteryoshirider, and friend of Koopa Keep Mariosun90 is ryudragon.

Monday, June 10, 2013

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Ubisoft's E3 2013 Press Conference

By KAMEK - Ubisoft's Blackout Night

Welcome to KoopaTV's live thoughts on Ubisoft's side of E3 as they happened. Ludwig Von Koopa as nintendork1313, Rawk as rawkhawk2010, YoshiRider as masteryoshirider, MarioSun90, a member of Koopa Keep, as ryudragon, and yours truly as Ultralink1000. Let's watch the fun. 

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to EA's E3 2013 Press Conference

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That conference retread old ground. And then tread it again over Elizabeth Brett's dead body.

Here are KoopaTV's live thoughts on EA's E3 conference, as it happened! I'm Nintendork 13 13, YoshiRider is masteryoshirider, Rawk is RawkHawk2010, and Kamek is Ultralink1000.

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Microsoft's E3 2013 Press Conference

By YOSHIRIDER123 - It wasn't good. 

Microsoft just had its E3 press conference today. KoopaTV was around to talk about it live. Check it out! Ultralink1000 is Kamek, I'm YoshiRider123, Rawk is himself, and Nintendork 13 13 is Ludwig.

I Just Don't Wanna Play Brawl Anymore

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And I haven't wanted to for a while now.

So Rawk wanted me to write this before Nintendo's E3 presentation revealing Super Smash Bros. 4 because Brawl would be obsolete by then anyway. Here we go. It's probably folly to try and talk about everything exhaustively about such a huge game in one article, so if something seems off or a point seems missing, you should divulge that in the comments.

Let me start by saying the Smash Bros. DOJO!! was the greatest hype mechanism ever created. It gave us reason to wake up in the morning! Or stay up really late for "Japan Time". This was six years ago and I think we can agree it was (one of) the best part of our lives. Sakurai went through every aspect of the game, one update at a time. We really hope he does that again. He also got some amazing quotes in there.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

EA at E3 and Dudebro Catering

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV can handle multiple movements at the same time!

You probably aren't wondering this (you should be), but now that KoopaTV has declared war on Electronic Arts past a mere boycott, we have two movements to juggle: This one and the Enlightenment Movement. Luckily, the two are absolutely compatible with one another and do not interfere in operations! 

Friday, June 7, 2013

Pathways to Adventure: Pokémon Gold and Silver

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Summary: Typhlosion sweeps the entire region.

So I was at Savers the other day, and there was a Pokémon book that stood out to me: Pokémon Gold/Silver: Pathways to Adventure by Jason R. Rich (writer of articles in magazines such as "Gay City News"), which was a relic all the way from November 2000. Back 13 years ago this was $9.99 — now it was discounted to $1.99. I didn't know this existed, so I had to buy this, and I knew I'd review it! And it's even an "Official Nintendo Licensed Product". It was published by Sybex, which no longer exists if you try to go on their website.

Thursday, June 6, 2013


By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Cursed to deal with EA's PR.

Back in December of 2010, buzz went around the Internet that EA Entertainment was releasing a Madden Curse movie directed by Pat O'Brien. Since then, we've had no idea what happened to the movie. (For more information about the Madden Curse, look it up yourself.) Being a paragon of exemplary journalism to answer the questions that we need to know, KoopaTV went through the mud to dredge up the latest information on this forgotten production.

...What happened after is extraordinary.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Terms Index

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Always a work in progress with every new article.

Because KoopaTV uses its labels as categories and not for search engine optimization purposes (where the contents of the article are used as the labels), if you want to know what articles contain, say, Super Smash Bros. Melee, you can't do that easily (I bet the search bar could help you tremendously, though). So we've created an INDEX of games, companies, and other things! Updated every new article!

It's heavily recommended, given the size of this thing, to use CTRL + F. We'll be splitting it in two because this is too big to update so the browser kind of crashes.

August 17 2015: Deleting this because it's a huge source of tomfoolery, when we changed domain names.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Artemis Review - Kingdom Hearts.

BY ARTEMIS - I'm the only one who acknowledges this series I guess.

Kingdom Hearts from Square Enix is one of my favorite games, I'll admit it. But while I love it, it's got flaws. So now I'll review it!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

No moral compass in THIS part of Tokyo, folks.

By RAWKHAWK2010 - This is how we'd behave at Nintendo's E3 booth.

Earlier this year, the 3DS eShop saw the release of Tokyo Crash Mobs, a game developed by Mitchell Corp. (who?) and (to most people's surprise) actually published by Nintendo themselves.

And it might just be the most morally fucked up Nintendo game ever.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

KoopaTV Has Gone Through May!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A reflection and a look into what's to come.

While we haven't gone through a full 30 days here at KoopaTV, we have finished the month of May. It's June now! What does June mean? June is the biggest time for news in the videogame industry, thanks to E3.

One complaint that I haven't heard but I imagine you might think about is that KoopaTV is failing to provide articles on very current, relevant topics. Things like the Xbox One announcement went by without an article, only receiving passing references. 

We're not a news site, we're a commentary site.

That means what the news cycle does is give us more things to talk about, which does not necessarily change our time preference for wanting to talking about it. What could budge our time preference is if you request something, though.

KoopaTV is built upon you enjoying our staff's personalities, writing style, and opinions. We're nothing without it!

So expect more of that type of style for content. Now, we are looking for additions to the staffing team (primarily because I don't like the idea of writing 75% of the articles). Qualifications include:
  • Good and INTERESTING writing
  • Funny (and an ability to poke fun at oneself)
  • Good opinions
  • Passion
On that note, starting in June, we'll be taking and publishing guest post submissions. Those are from YOU guys! For more information, you should click here.

Here's a list of the top 5 articles we definitely want you to read from May:
  1. KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Nintendo Direct 5/17/13
  2. Could Smash 4's Newcomers Be Terrible?
  3. Coy Thoughts On Boycotts
  4. GameStop and Xenoblade 
  5. What is the Enlightenment Movement?
Of course, we want you to read all of our content (especially because we're self-referencing now)! And we love to hear from you through your comments. And tell your friends about KoopaTV too (do our advertising for us)!

Now that with the new Miiverse update you can see stuff without logging in, Ludwig can directly link you to his latest posts! Check out his (latest and lamest) attempt to promote Captain Vul!

For next month's lookback, click here!
For next YEAR'S lookback, look here!