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Friday, April 20, 2018

DON'T BUY THE NINTENDO LABO: What you NEED to know!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Nintendo Labo has released today. Don't fall for its trickery.

Today, Nintendo released their build-it-yourself-peripheral-toys-to-play-shoddy-software combination, the Nintendo Labo.

By... sheer coincidence, of course, today KoopaTV formally declares war against Nintendo Labo and urges all readers to not purchase it. Anyone who has already bought a Labo is urged to return it to your retailer and get a refund. 

Don't buy the Labo. It's as simple as that. That isn't... much of an article, so let's review what got us to this point, and why exactly the Nintendo Labo endangers the lives of you and (your?) children.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Planes are still SAFER than cars!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Don't let horrific recent events bias your opinions.

Since KoopaTV, and specifically by yours truly, is literally the only place and person on the Internet that wrote an opinion article discussing why planes are superior to cars for the Splatfest on that subject from the first Splatoon, some people are blaming me for the tragic plane death with Southwest Airlines Flight 1380. There was an engine failure that somehow cracked a cabin window, resulting in “uncontrolled decompression” that nearly sucked Passenger Jennifer Riordan out of the airplane. (This is why I never sit in the window seat, along with me being afraid of heights.)

She didn't fly out the plane, but she did die anyway.

This is understandably spooking people who would want to fly planes. Then people think about United Airlines and that guy being dragged off the plane even though he paid for his seat already. These scared people are turning to long road trips by car as an alternative... or even worse, by train. (If you're worried for your safety and sanity, DON'T RIDE TRAINS!)  Or... even worse than that... BY BICYCLE. PLEASE DON'T RIDE ONE OF THOSE!

While I can't address customer service in this article (there aren't statistics on how rude taxi drivers are, or how many Uber drivers are rapists and murderers), I can address safety. Planes still beat cars in that regard, and are still better than cars for all the reasons I discussed in that Splatfest article in the first paragraph.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Life as a Salmon Run Profreshional after Version 2.3.0

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Splatoon 2 version that changed the Salmon Run experience forever.

Almost six months ago, I received a request from an anonymous reader asking me to write about Splatoon 2's most fun mode, Salmon Run. Obviously, I didn't feel a rush to take the request, but eventually I realised it was worth commentating on the topic, especially my thoughts on the difference between Salmon Run before Splatoon 2 version 2.3.0, and Salmon Run after Splatoon 2 version 2.3.0.

If you don't remember or know what happened with 2.3.0, look here for the change log. In terms of Salmon Run, here is the notable change:
Made it so that more Rank can be carried over at the start of the next job when the player has the title of Profreshional and a Rank of 100 or higher.”
Basically, if you reach Profreshional rank 100 to 190, you start at 100. From 200 to 290, you start the next time at 200. Etcetera until Profreshional 400 to 999, where you start at 400. As shown before the update in this article, if you were a Profreshional of any caliber, you'd start at 40. (For the uninitiated, Profeshional is the highest rank you can get (and it's trivial to achieve), and the number is the difficulty level. 40 is pretty easy. 400 isn't.)

So if I ended Saturday's Salmon Run at 400, then next time I play Salmon Run, I'll start at 400. Beforehand, there was mandatory scaffolding where you'd start at 40 and you'd get used to the unique weapon set for the rotation and how that goes with the map. Now, you better be ready from the first time you play that rotation, or you'll drop in rank. You might drop to 380 and never win again, so you'll start the next time at 300. It creates pressure to keep playing past the DAILY SUPERBONUS.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

A Way Out Outsells Expectations

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We discuss the Friend Pass, and why EA is even funding this game.

I remember two things about Hazelight Studios, but they are the most important two things:

  1. Their founder, Josef Fares, is a coarse jackass, judging from his appearance at The Game Awards 2017.
  2. They were making and have now released their two-player mandatory co-op game, A Way Out.

A Way Out was actually very memorable from the Electronic Arts E3 2017 press conference. I cited it as the “most cool, innovative concept from EA's conference”. Usually I don't remember random games from E3 conferences I don't care about, but I remember A Way Out. Well, it released at the end of March, and has since sold over ONE MILLION COPIES.

I take issue with Mr. Fares's math, claiming that two million people have played A Way Out.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Let Tax Day 2018 Be The LAST Tax Day, EVER! Enact the FAIRtax!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An income tax cut is great and all, but no income tax altogether is even better!

Just in case you're confused or not American — the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 (President Donald John Trump's substantive tax cuts bill passed at the end of 2017) applies to next year's taxes, or Tax Day 2019. Tax Day 2018, which covers the taxes for calendar year 2017, isn't changed by the legislation.

If you look at the KoopaTV article on that tax cut legislation, you'll read in several places me bemoaning that it's not the FAIRtax, which is a national retail sales tax that replaces the income and payroll taxes. For a little more information, take a look at this quick video:
 

For a lot more information, including FAQs, lots of research (the FAIRtax is said to be the most researched tax legislation in the history of humanity), and more, check out the FAIRtax website at fairtax.org. (Note their use of the best top-level domain.) Meanwhile, I'm going to spend this article telling you why I think the FAIRtax is the best tax plan and what America needs — and if implemented, there will never be a Tax Day ever again.

Update April 17, 2018: The IRS payment systems glitched up and people couldn't actually pay the IRS money today, so they're extending Tax Day to April 18th. I mean... they're making our argument for us that they should be abolished. /end update

Friday, April 13, 2018

Yooka-Laylee isn't Half-Bad...or is it?

By RAWKHAWK2010 - And is this seriously KoopaTV's seventh Yooka-Laylee article?

As someone who weathered the Yooka-Delaylee storm so that I could experience the game on Nintendo Switch, I'm at last prepared to provide my thoughts. Do I really want to? Well, not really. Reviews aren't really thing. It's why my Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney "review" is a gaggle of Miiverse screen captures. It's why my Paper Mario: Color Splash review hasn't happened and never will. But in this case...I suppose I must oblige:

Yooka-Laylee Kickstarter backer credits extra special thanks RawkHawk2010 R section
It's me! (Six paces above "Ray and the Family Dickinson".)

And with that,
Rawk's Review of Yooka-Laylee:

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Whatever the hell a Beyoncé is, keep it away from Nintendo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I DON'T want Nintendo experimenting like this.

I don't want to hear your justifications for it. “Nintendo is trying to be edgier!” “Stop being a prude, Ludwig!” “You should be proud that Nintendo is pushing its envelope! Doesn't KoopaTV do that?” “This isn't even Nintendo; it's Ubisoft!”

I hesitate to actually embed this on my website. So I won't. I'll hyperlink to it. With a nofollow tag on the hyperlink. That'll show them. If you're brave enough, then see if you can survive the whole 66 seconds:

Just Dance Unlimited: Naughty Girl by Beyoncé - Official Gameplay Trailer - Nintendo Switch 

Since you're on KoopaTV to begin with, you probably don't value your own sanity that highly. Still, I'll try my best to describe what happened: In some apparent advertisement for Just Dance 2018 (and the game-streaming subscription service, Just Dance Unlimited), Nintendo and Ubisoft made and/or approved of a terrifying video of the #SASSY #NOFILTER Rabbid Peach from that awful Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle game that should've never progressed past being FAKE NEWS.

As you might expect for an advertisement for a bad dancing game, it's Rabbid Peach dancing to music I've never heard of. Apparently, it's from something called a “Beyoncé”, and that entity is quite popular on Earth. It's totally unknown to me why, because its song is atrocious to listen to.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Experience for yourself the Russian-American MISSILE Arms Race in this FREE BROWSER GAME!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Play Soviet Missile Run right here on KoopaTV!

The news cycle is moving so ridiculously fast — there are many events that I should be opining on but haven't gotten the chance to — but it's also important to look back on what has happened in the past to see how everyone got to the present situation.

That's... sort of what President Donald John Trump did in this tweet regarding the United States of America's current diplomatic relationship with Russia, as much as the normally non-reflective President can:

 
Just so you understand just how bad the relationships are right now, forty minutes earlier, the President tweeted this:

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Wii U — Consumer-friendly failure. Nintendo Switch — the opposite!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The market doesn't support consumer-friendly measures, I guess.

Here is a radical idea: Nintendo went from a very consumer-friendly console in the Wii U to one that... is decidedly less so, with the Nintendo Switch. The result? The Switch, last we checked, is stomping the Wii U's lifetime sales in its first year. Can't wait for Nintendo's annual report at the end of this April!

It's something I thought of as I was finally returning my Wii to its original packaging this weekend (consider it a grave), instead of having it sit around for years unconnected to anything and just collecting dust and taking up space. There are all of these Wii Remotes laying around, and if you go back all the way to Nintendo Land, you can see what Nintendo was trying to do. Since they sold a hundred million Wii consoles, and some multiple of that in Wii Remotes, then Nintendo would have a huge hardware and accessory base to work from for their next console.

And so they made the Wii U, which set out to have asymmetric gameplay experiences as its core selling point. Nintendo Land was supposed to sell that concept to the market place, bundled with every Wii U. The Wii U GamePad in conjunction with all the Wii Remotes out there would enable those experiences, and it was sort of correctly assumed that everyone in the world would have a bunch of spare Wii Remotes to work with. You didn't have to buy any new controllers!

Nintendo made a big mistake, though...

Monday, April 9, 2018

Reunion, and Turnabout Anime CONTRADICTIONS! Justice For All?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's focus on the Ace Attorney anime.

In one month, Funimation will release part two of season one of the Ace Attorney anime on Blu-Ray/DVD, featuring the plot of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice For All.

If you can't wait, or you just want to watch some free Ace Attorney content, you can go ahead and watch Episodes 14 and 15 (alternatively known as the first two episodes of part two of season one) on Funimation's website. Here is Episode 14, or Reunion and Turnabout — First Trial. Here is Episode 15, or Reunion and Turnabout — Second Trial.

(That first trial episode actually has no court case taking place at all! It's, as Dr. Turner Grey would say... FAKE NEWS!)



But the contradictions don't end there. No, they occur within the trial itself. There are plot holes much bigger than the mere bullet holes in the Kurain channeling costume's sleeves! (And folding screen.)

Friday, April 6, 2018

We might finally understand what Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes is

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A forced fusion of ideas featuring Travis Touchdown.

You know, it took over one whole year since Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes was announced, but I think we — and Suda51 — finally understand what the game actually is.

The Wikipedia article for Travis Strikes Again helps clarify things, as does Suda51's comments on his guest appearance on Nintendo Minute:



(I did you a favour and started the embed right when Suda51 appears so you can skip all the other indie stuff, though indie stuff is highly relevant to understanding Travis Strikes Again.)

What is most relevant to understanding Travis Strikes Again is that it is not a “No More Heroes 3”, but it may be used to judge the demand on the Nintendo Switch (or anywhere) for a “No More Heroes 3.”

Thursday, April 5, 2018

The Detective Pikachu Demo Thinks You're Dumb

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The only thing dumb is the game. You're just fine.

Today, Nintendo released the Creatures Inc-developed Detective Pikachu Special Demo Version. They want you to download it, and apparently your progress transfers over to the full game if you choose to buy it. It's unclear what makes this demo special — it's the only demo on the eShop for Detective Pikachu, so any adjectives are superfluous. (It's 1767 blocks on the Nintendo 3DS eShop, or 221 MB.)

Detective Pikachu Special Demo Version title screen Pokémon Nintendo 3DS
You'll have to deal with my camera quality with these pictures.
...Not that Detective Pikachu has great graphics anyway.
 
I just wrote about how, prior to the release of Detective Pikachu, I didn't understand how anyone could understand its appeal other than SAG-AFTRA members.

Now that I've played through the demo, what do I think of it? ...Well, like the game's actual plot, this isn't even going to be a post-page-break plot twist: Detective Pikachu is not good.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

ARMS Got Insight From Mario Kart 8, But... Is That Tenuous?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Mr. Yabuki was committing clickbait at GDC.

Mr. Yabuki, otherwise known as Kosuke Yabuki, producer of ARMS and also destroyer of Zerk in E3 2017, spoke at the Game Developers Conference 2018 to talk about ARMS in his session, “ARMS: Building Mario Kart 8 Insights into a Showcase Nintendo Switch Fighter”. (Watch it at the GDC Vault for free by clicking there.) Mr.Yabuki is not a no-name Nintendo guy — aside from directing Mario Kart 8, he also directed Mario Kart 7. He knows all about the Mario Kart series.

Still... I always thought that ARMS was designed to be a fighting game version of Splatoon, given all the similarities pointed out in the ARMS Direct that featured Splatoon 2 at the end. But Mr. Yabuki is telling everyone it came from Mario Kart 8.

I'll go through his presentation and give my thoughts.

The first thing Mr. Yabuki said is that Nintendo has a lot of prototypes of different game ideas, and one of those was, “What would a behind-the-fighter camera in a fighting game be like?” Most fighting games are 2D, like Street Fighter or Super Smash Bros.. The reason for that is that it's easy to judge the distance between your attacks and your opponent, but in 3D it's harder. You don't know if your attacks will connect, and people might go and never approach one another.

But... what if your attacks are guaranteed to reach?

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Splatfest: Individualistic Baseball vs. Collectivist Soccer

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Splatoon 2 just wants to know your favourite sport, but I turn it into philosophy.

Like WSB Radio, people don't tune into KoopaTV to hear sports talk. No one reading this knows that reference, do you?

Similarly, I don't think anyone reading this has a real personal stake in the differences between baseball and soccer. I've made up my mind on the question a long time ago — baseball, by far.

So when Splatoon 2 (in North America only — if this question was in Europe, people would respond very differently) is asking which sport you like more, baseball or soccer, for the Splatfest happening this Saturday (April 7, 2018), I sided with Team Baseball without hesitation.

Check it:

Splatoon 2 Splatfest which sport do you prefer baseball or soccer Pearl Marina
“Which sport do you prefer? Baseball or soccer?”

Why am I so strongly on Team Baseball, and similarly so against Team Soccer? It comes down to how each game is constructed, along with personal experiences with the sports — both in gaming and in real life. Allow me to explain some of that.

Monday, April 2, 2018

KoopaTV's March 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This answers what is going to happen with KoopaTV and KoopaTV's stuff.

After yesterday's proclamation, even though it happened on April 1 and not in March, it's probably best to talk about it to start this March 2018 newsletter.

The Fate of KoopaTV and LaboTV


Yesterday (on a SUNDAY, so you know something is unusual), there was an article published by what appeared to be King Bowser Koopa, describing how KoopaTV would be ending, to be replaced by a new website, LaboTV.

For the Sunday, KoopaTV was in this scary cardboard brown colour, which was presumably the LaboTV colour scheme:


Launching LaboTV on KoopaTV article brown cardboard Nintendo Labo
(The LaboTV logo was pretty cool, though.)

It turns out that this change in strategy did NOT come from our chief executive, King Bowser Koopa. It came from a cardboard imposter, Trojan Bowser!

Could it be that the forces of cardboard are teaming up to try to take over the Internet in order to promote the Nintendo Labo? Well, while we could not get in touch with the real King Bowser, we can be assured that Trojan Bowser is nothing but a fake.

That does leave the question of whether or not LaboTV would be much more successful than KoopaTV is, though. We're pretty sure the way we said we'd set up LaboTV would appeal to a much broader audience than KoopaTV does. That said...

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Launching LaboTV!

By TROJAN BOWSER - What was known as KoopaTV is fully transitioning to LaboTV.

Koopa Kingdom is proud to announce the best Internet hub in the world for all things Nintendo Labo: LaboTV.

The Nintendo Labo is releasing to the world this April 20th, and LaboTV wants to be there at the forefront. In the coming weeks, we'll change this domain name (www.KoopaTV.org) to www.LaboTV.org, and the staff will have awesome new sections to the site. 

Already, you can see LaboTV's new logo, and the new color scheme/layout:

Nintendo Labo LaboTV logo fan site
LaboTV's logo!


LaboTV will formally launch when the Nintendo Labo does, on April 20th. LaboTV will be updated as often as there is content to update it with. Until then, look forward to...

Nintendo Labo News


LaboTV will keep you in the know for every bit of news that happens in the Labo world, straight from Nintendo! Or if any other company has news, then that will be just as valid, but also fact-checked.

Nintendo Labo Inventions


LaboTV will showcase your creativity by displaying the cool, novel uses for the Labo that you come up with! This includes the awesome things you'll make in the Toy-Con Garage.

Nintendo Labo Lifestyle


LaboTV is also very interested in how you use your Labo as a lifestyle decision. Are you raising your kids with Nintendo Labo? Have some cool pictures or videos with you using your Labo? Anything with you and the Labo, we want to know about!

Nintendo Labo Software Strategy Guides


For the software that comes with the Nintendo Labo Kits, LaboTV will dissect everything you can do in these interactive experiences, as well as any optimal decisions you may need to make.

These guides will be multimedia — text, pictures, and yes, videos.

Nintendo Labo CAD Repository


Broke your cardboard? Well, LaboTV will take submissions for any CAD (computer-aided design) files you may wish to share. LaboTV is agnostic as to what file formats you submit, but neutral STEP or IGES files will likely have the most impact with the general audience. With those, you could even 3D-print a good-as-new Labo!

LaboTV is even prepared to compensate you for your designs!

LaboTV Discord


We thought about converting KoopaTV's Intranet website and old forum, Planet Koopa, into a LaboTV forum for all of you to enjoy, but forums are on their way out anyway. We will be opening a public LaboTV Discord server once LaboTV opens because we want to be the premier Nintendo Labo community, and Discord servers are the modern way of doing that.

What About KoopaTV?


KoopaTV's staff will be moving full-time to support LaboTV. When I write full-time, I mean it. LaboTV will be funded by a Patreon, as well as advertisements. We anticipate a LOT more traffic —  traffic that can be monetized — with LaboTV than we ever did KoopaTV, so it will actually be able to self-sustain without infusions of capital from Koopa Kingdom's treasury. We hope to be able to support your love of Labo.

KoopaTV's articles will be archived on a read-only domain once it becomes May 6th. The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 19 will be allowed to conclude at the end of April and its winner will be honored with the prize, the $10 Nintendo eShop code. The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program will then conclude, and LaboTV does not plan to have a comparable replacement.

The Last Word


We're going all-in with the Nintendo Labo with LaboTV. It's a new chapter in the staff's lives, and we hope you'll enjoy LaboTV as much as we will.


These footers won't exist on LaboTV articles. Just a heads-up.


It turns out that Trojan Bowser is a cardboard imposter, and LaboTV isn't King Bowser's true wishes! LaboTV is canceled, and KoopaTV is saved!
Because of the unforgivable act of pretending to be King Bowser and trying to end KoopaTV, KoopaTV has declared war on the Nintendo Labo.

Friday, March 30, 2018

Why How Much Consoles Sell Matters To YOU!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It makes a big difference in retail and availability.

I've heard lots of people over the years say they are too mature to think about the console wars. What does it matter to them that Nintendo's Wii U was a sales failure? That doesn't impact one's personal enjoyment of it!

I would ignore network effects at your own peril, people. Hitching a ride on a successful console car (as long as it's not a train) has a lot of benefits. I'll outline three of them in this article. The last one is the real reason this article was written. The first two are just for narrative build-up. ...Building away!

More People to Play With!


This is the most obvious application of network effects. In a world where most multiplayer games are locked to the console they are on (no cross-play), getting all your friends to be on the same console as you is pretty important. If they don't have that console, you don't get to play with them. Then you'll have to make another group of friends. For a lot of gamers, doing that is tough stuff. And you'll get estranged from your first group of friends.

Console popularity and consolidation saves relationships.

I mean, why do you think Wendy doesn't do anything on the site? She hasn't had a Nintendo console in, like, decades.

But what if you don't play games with friends? What if you play games by yourself?

Thursday, March 29, 2018

A Look Back to the Poker Ladies of Mitchell Corp.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...No, contrary to your belief, I haven't played every strip poker game out there.

Talking about the women of the 2009 WiiWare game Sexy Poker three years ago made for a great Women's History Month article. In 2018, let's talk about some even more obscure poker-playing ladies. I'm talking about the 1989 arcade game, Poker Ladies, from the now-defunct Mitchell Corp. (They were also responsible for developing Tokyo Crash Mobs for the 3DS, another female-centric game.)

In many respects that I will get to in this article, Poker Ladies is the predecessor to Sexy Poker. Interestingly, the user interface is better, at least according to this Let's Play that I won't embed because it's NSFW (not safe for work).  (I'm citing a Let's Play because, I haven't, you know, played it.) Still, I guess I can provide some pictures.


Wednesday, March 28, 2018

The Potential of Kirby's Dream Friends

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They're dreams. (Maybe?) Of course they have tons of potential!

Today, the first (free) downloadable content, referred to as a patch by Nintendo, for Kirby Star Allies has released. 

In terms of content, it adds the Kirby's Dream Land 2 fellows Rick, Kine, and Coo all as one setting-adapted character. That's my way of saying that when you're on land, it's Rick. When you're in water, it's Kine. In the air, it's Coo. The patch also adds Kirby's Dream Land 3 loser Gooey, and Kirby Super Star's final boss, Marx.

Kirby Star Allies Dream Friends patch Kine Rick Coo Marx Gooey
From left to right: Kine, Rick, Coo, Marx, and Gooey.

Without spoiling anything, I'll just say that Kirby Star Allies integrates the new Dream Friends very well, as well as they do the already-existing-on-Day-1 Dream Friends, Bandana Dee, King Dedede, and Meta Knight. Full story integration, as well as post-game activities.

I have a little question as to what the point of having these new Dream Friends be released now. I mean, they were done before the game was released, right? So why not on Day 1? If it was an effort to keep people playing Kirby Star Allies after release, why only less than two weeks since the release of Kirby Star Allies? Why not at least a month? Well, they did hint that there could be more updates to come (“updates” “first free update”), which leads me to the rest of this article.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Microsoft Prohibiting Offensive Language on All Services

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Newsflash: So does almost everyone else (except KoopaTV).

I have seen multiple articles on several sites, along with people being upset on social media platforms, that Microsoft is updating their Microsoft Services Agreement's Code of Conduct to clarify that “offensive language” is a no-no, and they can terminate your Microsoft Account (including access to Xbox Live and your licensed-not-sold games) for being a jerk.

Here is the before (current) and after (as of May 1):
iv. Don’t publicly display or use the Services to share inappropriate Content or material (involving, for example, nudity, bestiality, pornography, graphic violence, or criminal activity).
iv. Don’t publicly display or use the Services to share inappropriate content or material (involving, for example, nudity, bestiality, pornography, offensive language, graphic violence, or criminal activity).
I suppose if that's how far you look, then yes, all they did was add “offensive language” to the Microsoft code of conduct and call it a day. As a reminder, that applies to everything Microsoft, from Skype to Minecraft to Xbox Live to even Microsoft Office. You also can't curse out Cortana.

It isn't new information that, according to Microsoft's stuff you gotta agree to, they can shut down your Xbox games if you do something they don't like on Skype. It's one reason I strongly dislike Skype, along with the fact that it's an awful instant messenger that lacks features. So from a privacy perspective, there isn't new information here.

But is it new information that they can take away your Xbox games if you're a jerk? ...Well, no. I have evidence, of course.

Monday, March 26, 2018

Announcement: Ace Attorney Anime Second Season!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That's AAAASS.

It just wouldn't be WRIGHT... or right, to have only one season of the Ace Attorney anime. I have no idea how popular the anime actually is, but now Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations will get to be portrayed in an animated format in... Season Two! Starting in Fall 2018, in Japan!

Season One was Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice For All, and any reference to Season Two before now was... mistaken vocabulary.

The Justice For All part of the first anime batch is officially considered Part Two of Season One. That's a little different than being Season Two.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Anime Gyakuten Saiban season 2 Maya Fey Godot promotional image
I'd love to give you some original imagery of Ace Attorney anime season two,
but this is all we got.

It isn't stated how many parts there will be of Season Two, but according to some Japanese translation (see embedded tweet below), series genius Shu Takumi will be putting together some original new story content for the anime. Since Trials & Tribulations is packed enough as it is (you telling me they're gonna fit that all in less than thirteen episodes to make room for new stories? ...Sounds cramped, and I don't want them to cut cases here), this hints to me Season Two will have more than one part.


By the way, I wouldn't dedicate a whole article to this if I didn't approve of the Ace Attorney anime. Any obnoxiously negative comments (as opposed to just regularly negative) from me about the anime came from trying to watch the anime with sub-titles or no translations. The anime being dubbed makes it much better. No word from Funimation on if they or anyone else are going to dub Season Two, but if they will, it won't be for some year(s) from now.

Either way, look forward to some possible Trials & Tribulations music remixes. Fortunately, that's appreciable cross-language!


KoopaTV recommends you watch the dub of the Ace Attorney anime, but only after you play the games they are based on, which would be the games in the convenient compilation package, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy. KoopaTV always publishes an article whenever they semi-regularly go on sale on the 3DS eShop (most recently at the start of March 2018, otherwise known as “this month”), and KoopaTV regularly gives away eShop card codes as part of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program so you can easily purchase it!

Friday, March 23, 2018

What's the Deal With Detective Pikachu?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It comes across as a SAG-AFTRA plot.

At no point in the past, what, two years since it has existed and been talked about from Japan, did I care about or understand the appeal of Detective Pikachu. I still don't. But it seems to be the last non-port or remake game on the Nintendo 3DS.

Detective Pikachu is a point-and-click adventure game where you play as some twerp named Tim, and you're accompanied by a talking Pikachu. You need to solve some mystery together in a human-Pokémon world. ...Oh, and Pikachu talks.

Did you know that Pikachu is fully voice-acted? Yup.

The entire marketing for Detective Pikachu revolves around Pikachu talking, a novelty tested in the market with that Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You (which we watched and live-reacted to)

Case in point: Check out this SpotPass notification sent out today to every opted-in Nintendo 3DS owner, which is similar to Nintendo's press release:


Thursday, March 22, 2018

Nintendo at E3 2018: Super Smash Bros. Invitational & Splatoon 2 World Championship 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Awesome! The first concrete things to look forward to for E3 2018.

We are past the point where a mere three months from now, E3 2018 will have come and gone. It's coming up quick, so it figures that gaming companies are now announcing their E3 2018 plans to get people HYPED!

(For us, it's also helping us put our E3 2018 Schedule together.)

So, check out this video Nintendo dropped today, with the accompanying press release:



To put it in writing, there will be a Super Smash Bros. Invitational 2018 tournament and a Splatoon 2 World Championship (2018) from June 11 to June 12. They didn't mention which happens on what day, so that might mean they both start on June 11 and then conclude on June 12? ...Or they're still figuring out logistics.

There are some interesting details to dissect here about both of these tournaments.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Minecraft Morons and School Bomb Threats

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This doesn't really make sense, but it's Minecraft, so...

I didn't even know that Minecraft had player-vs-player game types, and I don't even know how Minecraft servers generally work. Feel free to write off this entire article as the ramblings of a biased asshole.

Still, regardless of your feelings about my qualifications to write about anything Minecraft-related (or my qualifications to write about anything in general), we should all safely be able to agree that what happened in the United Kingdom (pray for Vortexica) with regards to the school bomb hoaxes as a result of a Minecraft server rivalry is... tragic.

Per Sky News, 24,000 spoofed (sent by someone disguising themselves as someone else) bomb threats were sent to 400 educational institutions in the UK. The spoofer claimed to be part of the Minecraft server VeltPvP. VeltPvP denies they were behind this. (Either way, this is probably huge advertisement for VeltPvP, which isn't just a server, but apparently a whole business with chief officers.) Specifically, they said to send money over to VeltPvP in exchange for not being blown up. (It's unclear what would have happened if anyone had actually sent money to VeltPvP.)


Whomever wrote this e-mail sucks at English, or they're pretending to be Arabic.
...Or maybe they really are Arabic and we can turn this story into one about Muslims in the UK.

Either way, we're pretty familiar with this kind of thing ourselves.


Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Remember When People Wanted Takamaru Playable in Super Smash Bros.?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You're forgiven if you are asking, “Who is Takamaru?”

When I was first drafting this article, I thought the dude's name was “Takamura.” Whatever his name is, he doesn't matter. Takamaru is a generic Japanese samurai guy from an old Famicom game that no one in the Western hemisphere played until 28 years later when The Mysterious Murasame Castle got brought to the Nintendo 3DS eShop in other countries.

It wasn't until Takamaru's Ninja Castle was its own minigame — a bottom-tier minigame at that — in Nintendo Land that people knew there was a dude named Takamaru out there. You wouldn't know he was a samurai though. You might've thought he was a ninja. Takamaru doesn't even appear in the game. You don't play as him. You play as a Mii ninja. Who the hell is Takamaru? No one knows, but that MYSTERY (in Murasame) got a whole bunch of people trying to say that Super Smash Bros. would be a lot better with him as a playable character.

There is some tiny, fledgling Takamaru for Smash movement. People who put him on a long wishlist filled with other characters. No one has explained his appeal to me. The game doesn't seem all that great — it's like The Legend of Zelda but much more action-oriented and not puzzle-y. It also has a timer, so it must be awful. I'm convinced only weeaboos want this guy in, but now they can obsess over the Hoshido in Fire Emblem Fates instead.

Takamaru The Mysterious Murasame Castle Nintendo 3DS eShop
The Mysterious Murasame Castle failed to take off as a franchise.
It's not for a mysterious reason.
...Anyway, that's Takamaru crossing a bridge.

Takamaru ended up becoming a dreadfully boring Assist Trophy who jumped around like a freak, throwing ninja stars at people or something. Very generic and totally forgettable. I wouldn't be surprised if what was left of the Takamaru for Smash crowd actually forgot that he was in as an Assist Trophy.

Almost five years ago, one of KoopaTV's first articles was about how three characters that could be in Super Smash Bros. 4 would be terrible to have. Those characters were Takamaru, Geno, and Pac-Man.

None of those have stopped being terrible choices.


Ludwig isn't against fledgling movements just because they are fledgling (he voted for Phoenix Wright in the Smash Bros. Fighter Ballot, after all), but the characters need to be worthy. Takamaru isn't worthy in any possible way. Ludwig is considering having several character-related articles between now and the release of Super Smash Bros. For Switch, since it's an interesting set of topics to talk about.

Monday, March 19, 2018

It's Sea of Thieves Eve And I Must Grieve

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Happiness stolen in a Sea of Hype.

Well, after three long years it's finally out. The true beginning of a post-Kinect Sports renaissance for Rare Ltd. -- and according to several who have played it, their all-time magnum opus.


Upon its announcement, I was pretty brain-meltingly excited for Sea of Thieves. I made a video syncing the Sea of Thieves announcement trailer to Athena's Swashbuckler Spectacular from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies, and another of Phil Spencer (widely considered to be the man responsible for Rare's rescue) eccentrically dancing. It was awesome, dudes. Sea of Thieves was gonna be Donkey Kong Country 2 but in almost-real-life. Sea of Thieves was gonna save my waning enthusiasm in video games while Nintendo stayed busy screwing over the Star Fox franchise (which involved first exhuming it from the grave) and making all kinds of other terrible decisions. Back then I was all like, "Bless Rare and Microsoft Studios", but skip three years into the future and the correct phrase is "Bless me", because I honestly couldn't have been more wrong.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Kirby Star Allies is RELEASED! Poyo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, some additional miscellaneous Kirby-related loose ends!

Today, we welcome the official release of Kirby Star Allies, which marks the conclusion(?) of the most Kirby coverage in a short time period to ever be on KoopaTV.

It was a good time. Let's do more of that, shall we?

Don't look at the professional critic reviews of Kirby Star Allies. Reviewers don't understand this franchise. They don't like it. They have never liked it. I won't link to it or talk about it further.

I'm going to be getting my claws on a physical copy as soon as I can. Not today, obviously. Let's aim for Sunday.

In the meantime, Nintendo released an update to the Nintendo Switch earlier this week: Version 5.0.0. It doesn't do anything important and I'm not sure why it warrants a whole new version number, but it did get Kirby and some of his (Dream) friends as possible profile pictures. Not enough to displace my purple-background Bowser, though.

Nintendo Switch version 5.0.0 character profile pictures icons Kirby series Waddle Dee ARMS
Also, ew, most of the update was burying the Kirby stuff with icky ARMS people.
Plus, the Waddle Dee in here isn't even Bandana Waddle Dee. Strange?!

By the way, I did some investigative journalism. While I can't find records that Nintendo of America ever knew the Friend Bounce existed in Kirby Super Star, I unearthed evidence in HAL Laboratory's Japanese-only Flash-based old site for Kirby Super Star Ultra that they knew:

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Alternate Mode of Entry to Post Cereal Sweepstakes: Win a Nintendo Switch!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Already have a Switch? Get another. It's FREE.

You may recall this remarkable passage from an article at the end of 2017 about Post Cereal and their Nintendo Switch giveaway contest. The article went into very deep detail about the contest, which involves buying certain Post Cereal brands which contain a code that you submit to Post's sweepstakes page for the possibility of winning a Nintendo Switch. The article's main topic was about how the contest discriminates against people with Celiac Disease, but there is another method of entry where you don't have to buy any cereal or consume any gluten and you can still win:

“Oh, I forgot to mention. There is an AMOE, or Alternative Method of Entry, that opens March 16, 2018 and lasts for two weeks. Simply go to this website and request a code, which you can do three times a day. No purchase necessary! Assuming that winning times of entry are equally distributed over time and that the competition is equally distributed as well (which are BIG assumptions), this is a 15-day window out of the 212 days the contest is open. That's 7.075% of the contest is open during a no-purchase-necessary time window. That leaves around 35 Nintendo Switch systems up for grabs during this time! We'll remind you in March to take advantage of it, as a benefit to being a KoopaTV reader. (...Just remind us to remind you.)” 

..NO ONE REMINDED US TO REMIND YOU, but I reminded myself because I'm responsible. You can thank me in the comments section.

As of writing, the Alternate Method of Entry site still looks like this:


Nintendo Switch giveaway contest Post Cereal Alternate Mode of Entry AMOE code request
“We're almost ready to play! The AMOE code request site will begin at 12:00am ET on March 16, 2018.”

I guess this article would be a little better if I published it after the alternate method of entry was made available so I could tell you what “the information” you need to fill actually is. I'm going to guess it's your name, physical address, e-mail address, perhaps a phone number, and Post will ask for your date of birth to confirm you are over 18. I'll edit this article after the fact and let you know if there's anything I didn't guess ahead of time.

That said, since you can get three codes a day for the duration of March, I figured it's better to publish this information now rather than later. (Besides, March 16 itself is a product release day; a product we're looking forward to.)

I just wish the company was named something better than Post. This article would be so much easier to write and understand!

Update 3/16/2018: After you fill in your information (I was spot-on in terms of what they ask for), they e-mail you a code. You'll get an e-mail from noreply@prizelogic.com with the code. You then go to https://nintendoswitch.postsweepstakes.com and enter your code after re-entering your personal information. Then you're given this screen and I guess I lost because I'm clicking the question-mark block like a buffoon and nothing is happening.

Post Sweepstakes Nintendo Switch question block mushroom appears win
I'M TAPPING. BUT THERE'S NO FEEDBACK. Did I lose?!
It seems like I can try three times every day, SO I'LL BE BACK.



If giving out your personal information is a problem for you, or you're not 18 or older, don't fret: You can still win valuable Nintendo prizes FOR FREE! It's called the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, and you can be completely pseudonymous when entering it. Unlike the Post contest, it is 100% skill-based. You can enter simply by commenting on this article, though as mentioned, since it's skill-based, you'll have to out-comment and out-activity the other participants in the contest to be able to win.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

My Nintendo's Worthless Gold Points

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At least you're currently on a website with a good loyalty rewards program...

This was announced a while ago, but we've just been so busy we couldn't get around to it. Nintendo's underwhelming player loyalty program, My Nintendo, has implemented a “Gold Points” system with the intention of making people actually get excited about the Gold Coins they are collecting. (Platinum Coins are still worthless.) It was a criticism that for a year, this program was in place but you could only spend the Gold Coins on 3DS and Wii U content. Not anymore!

Starting March 5, 2018, you got 5% off any digital Nintendo Switch, Wii U, or 3DS purchases you made converted into Gold Points. If you buy any physical Nintendo Switch games (which is how I prefer to buy my games), you only get 1% of the purchase price converted into a Gold Point. Each Gold Point is worth... one cent. A $60 digitally downloaded game will get you 300 points, or 3 dollars back. A $60 physical game will get you 60 points, or 60 cents.

These add to however the hell we got Gold Coins before, which was an even worse conversion rate.

Just so Nintendo can be jerks, you have 12 months to use your Gold Points before they expire. That means if you want a free $60 game, you'll need to spend $1,200 in digital purchases in 12 months, and still have another 21st game you're interested enough in to do all of this purchasing for. By the way, in order to qualify for points, you need to have bought the game within 12 months of its release date.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

President Trump and the Roundtable on Videogame Violence

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Fortunately, it doesn't seem like anything is going to come from it.

After we regretfully told you that someone is feeding anti-videogame crap into President Donald John Trump's ear as it relates to videogame violence and shootings, the President last week decided to take the “very complicated and very big deal” and listen to people who know what they're talking about in a room with people who... do not. Basically, that means you put a room together with anti-gaming politicians and interest groups with industry lobby organisations like the Entertainment Software Association and the ESRB.

Then you listen.

Unfortunately, the roundtable was closed off to the media, so we don't actually know what happened. That makes writing commentary on the meeting difficult, doesn't it? Accounts described it as a listening session, and it seems the people more likely to talk about the experience were the anti-game people rather than the pro-game people, who either said nothing or put out meaningless statements.

One thing we know for sure is that the meeting began with this 88-second video montage (compiled from clips of YouTubers, without asking permission because FAIR USE) of very violent, M-rated moments. Just letting you know that it's embedded below after the page break, and I wouldn't watch it if you don't want to see, you know, gory content. Even the thumbnail is... unsettling. It also has one of the most lopsided (in the negative direction) Thumbs-Up to Thumbs-Down ratios on YouTube.

Monday, March 12, 2018

All Time is a Bad Time

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Shall we kill some?

Ludwig is a big-time hater of Daylight Savings Time. He says it ruins sleeping patterns and makes people waste valuable time changing clocks. He also believes that the government simply has no right to regulate something as sacred as Time, especially when its boundaries continue to change at the government's behest. Arizona doesn't even follow the damn thing which only leads to absolute DISASTERS for whoever may be traveling through, and I don't just mean ones involving pink underwear.

Well, I'm here to say that ALL time is bad. EVERY LAST SECOND OF IT!

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations Edgeworth problem here is time Laurice Deauxnim
#YesAllMin

Friday, March 9, 2018

We Don't Know Yet If Super Smash Bros. For Switch is Original or Not

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Anyone who thinks we know for sure is wrong, and I'll discredit their points.

Yesterday was an amazing Nintendo Direct. No one denying it. My favourite part, the Splatoon 2 portion, isn't what has everyone talking. No, people are talking about Super Smash Bros. for Switch (that's what I think the name will be: “Super Smash Bros. For Switch”), which is currently named “Super Smash Bros. (Title Pending)”.

There's currently a debate going on where people are wondering whether or not this Switch Super Smash Bros. is an enhanced port of Super Smash Bros. For Wii U or it's a real sequel. From social media polls I've seen, most people are going with the sequel. It's all speculation on both sides, but the power of wishful thinking (and a little FAKE NEWS) is getting more people than not on the sequel side.

Two of the claims I see I can debunk in one screenshot. First of all, people claim HAL Laboratory is developing the Switch version. I don't see how pro-sequel people think that makes sense as an argument (are you forgetting that they have been working on a full set of games over the past year, including Kirby Star Allies, Kirby Battle Royale, Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, and whatever the hell that BoxBoy! series is?), but it's there. Second, people think that since the website and trailer say the words “original game”, well, that means it's Nintendo's way of saying the game is original.

Well, look at this side-by-side, which you can verify for yourself with one minute's worth of curiosity instead of believing idiots/FAKE NEWS from social media:


Thursday, March 8, 2018

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Nintendo Direct March 8, 2018!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How long after this will social media be spamming for a new Direct?

Before we get to the reaction log, I want to address something. The past several months have been nothing but obnoxious Nintendo fans spamming every marketing material Nintendo has produced with “DIRECT WHEN?” or “Cool, but this isn't a Nintendo Direct.” It's annoying. You are getting continual news and great marketing content from Nintendo all the time (I can't prove this, but I think there's more Nintendo-produced content now than ever before per time period). You're complaining just to be annoying.

Of course, KoopaTV readers are intelligent folks, for the most part. I'm sure y'all ain't the same idiots constantly begging for a Nintendo Direct. I mean, if we had people like this on the site, the comments section for every article would just be people beginning for Episode 2 of KoopaTV Adventures. (Which is something that SHOULD be begged for.)

People were making up weird myths about historical patterns for when Nintendo Directs should be made available, as if Nintendo itself is a videogame boss doomed to doing the same attack patterns for eternity. They can do whatever they want.

ANYWAY, I'll get off my tangential soapbox so you can get to reading the soapbox you came here for.

Nintendo Direct March 8 2018 announcement
I keep forgetting Mario Tennis Aces existed.

I'm here to give you my live reactions. Vortexica is here as well. (He's the one you need to bother to get a new episode of KoopaTV Adventures.)

Watch along with us:



Wednesday, March 7, 2018

The Kirby Star Allies Demo is FANTASTIC!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My enthusiasm is higher than it's ever been.

Good news, y'all: All of those Kirby articles that have been appearing on KoopaTV lately won't be in vain. Kirby Star Allies really does deserve the attention. Count me among his allies (or helpers or friends or whatever)!

On March 4 (or a few days earlier in that horrible continent called Europe), Nintendo released a two-level demo for Kirby Star Allies. One is an easy grasslands tutorial with Whispy Woods at the end, and the other features is in a “hard” cave that someone winds up with Buff Dedede (alternatively known as Rawk Dedede on this site) as the boss.

There are SO many amazing things to share about Kirby Star Allies that I might have put as their own individual articles on a slow news week, but... all of a sudden, stuff is happening. Therefore, I'll be packing this article with goodness. I haven't been this excited for a game since, what, Splatoon 2? ...No, probably Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Splatoon 2 Splatfest: Which Came First? CHICKEN or EGG?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The chicken.

There is a Splatfest coming up this weekend for both North America and Europe (and Oceania): Which came first? The chicken or the egg?

Splatoon 2 Splatfest which came first the chicken or egg Pearl Marina philisolophical
Pearl: “WE 'BOUT TO GET ALL PHILISOLOPHICAL UP IN THIS!”
Marina: “Which do you think came first? The chicken or the egg?”
 
I don't know what “philisolophical” is supposed to mean or what that is supposed to be a pun of, if anything (philosophical with solo in it? ...And that accomplishes what, exactly?). In terms of philosophising, that's sort of what we've been doing for many of the Splatfests that have already happened for both Splatoon and Splatoon 2. Just put in a Splatfest topic in the search bar and you'll see our take.

Let's be clear. This Splatfest does not ask whether we like chickens or eggs more in terms of cuteness or taste (the winner is clearly the chicken in both cases). Rather, it is asking how that species began, and then it tries to cheat a bit by having the egg's picture be a cute chick rather than just an egg. Typical Marina.

Before I tell you why I believe the chicken came first, I'll give some historical polling background going back to the Wii: The United States Everybody Votes Channel asked this question in April 2007, and Chicken beat Egg, 57.1%–42.9%. However, the United Kingdom Everybody Votes Channel also asked this in April 2007, and the Chicken  vs. Egg score had Egg winning, 46.4%–53.6%. Canada's version was a 50.0%–50.0% split. The world seems rather divided on this.