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Friday, August 17, 2018

“Conservative Journalists” are an Oxymoron

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If you're a journalist, and I know your political leanings, you're doing something wrong.

I have to speak out about this, again. Proper journalism is critical to KoopaTV. I've long been at the point where if I suspect a story to be FAKE NEWS, I won't commentate on it. I won't betray the trust that you have in KoopaTV by using untrustworthy, bad sources. That list is a lot longer than the good sources list. This makes it increasingly harder to do my job as an editorialist. I don't even believe most of what I read. I'm very skeptical.

Anyway, here is what is a non-starter for me: Biased, ideological people claiming to be journalists. Since the mainstream media is clearly unreliable and primarily made up of FAKE NEWS left-wingers, a whole new crop of new media figures claiming to be journalists have popped out of the Internet, trying to add balance by... being just as biased and ideological, just in the right-wing direction.

No. That's not how it's supposed to work. Journalists are supposed to give objective facts in their reporting, and leave the spin to folks like me. Journalists aren't supposed to care about the outcome of elections, or be rooting for anyone. If that seeps into your reporting, it's tainted, and as a consumer, I need to work all that much harder to try to filter what the actual truth is. (That makes you an enemy of the people, by the way.) If you're reporting with an agenda, then you're not a journalist. You're an activist. Journalism might be boring and no-thrills sometimes, but wanting to have fun doesn't give you an excuse to change what journalism means.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

I can't stand Fortnite

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We need to get rid of this game.

When Fortnite was announced at Nintendo's E3 2018, and then shown off on Nintendo Treehouse Live, I was upset and bored by it. However, I thought that Nintendo wouldn't talk about Fortnite after E3. Yeah, I was wrong about that. Nintendo is treating Fortnite on the Nintendo Switch as a big deal, so I figured, well, it's free to play, I might as well try it.

Let's back up a bit. Fortnite is currently the most popular game in the world. It involves two parts: A co-op zombie-survival mode (“Save the World”) that was the original game of Fortnite, and a be-the-last-human-standing mode (“Battle Royale”) that outgrew the popularity of the first mode. Only Battle Royale is available on the Nintendo Switch — publisher Epic Games has no plans for the Save the World mode to come to Switch.

Battle Royale mode has you jump out of a flying bus to somewhere on a large map. You need to run around collecting loot (building materials, weapons, ammunition) and survive encounters with other players, preferably hiding in forts that you've built. The large map quickly shrinks as time passes due to “The Storm”, which serves as a death-bringing counter-measure to camping in the corner of the map where no one is, as well as eventually forcing an end to the game session. Conceptually, the game design mostly makes sense (I'm not sure why the map is so big to begin with if going to its corners will ensure your demise due to The Storm), but in practice, Fortnite reeks of sloppiness and a total lack of sublimity.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Get Rescued in the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Series Here — Through 2018 and On!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'll rescue you through passwords or QR codes, for any applicable game.

It might be challenging to find support for games in the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon series, especially older ones. They aren't “mainstream” but can be difficult to beat. Developer Chunsoft, for most games in the series, wanted to encourage community among players by allowing a player to rescue another if they get a game over. But since the franchise is not in the public eye, where do you find quick and active rescuers?

Look no more, since we at KoopaTV are big fans of the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon series, spanning from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team to the more-recent Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon on the 3DS. We'll even be nice people and rescue you, just for the sake of being nice. (And encourage others to buy the games along the way.) So, I have set up this page as your resource to get help that you can trust.

How to be Rescued

  1. When you faint in the game, select the prompt saying you'd like to be rescued. The process is a little different for each game, but in general, there are options to Send SOS Mail out. You want the passcode from this
  2. Leave a comment in this article (or via e-mail to Ludwig's e-mail address provided on KoopaTV's contact page) with your rescue request, including...
    1. Dungeon you fainted in
    2. The floor you fainted in
    3. The game you're playing
    4. An image or transcription of the QR code (Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon) or passcode (every game)
    5. If playing Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon, what format you want your code in (QR code or passcode)
    6. A request for what item I should attach to the Thank-You Mail. If you don't say anything, it'll be up to my discretion
  3. When commenting, you should check the Notify Me button so you can get a notification of my response
  4. I'll respond to you, and hopefully soon after (or in that very same response, if it's a short rescue) I'll give you the Rescue Mail so you can save yourself
  5. Use the Rescue Mail and be saved! I'd appreciate it if you then replied with a Thank-You Mail so KoopaTV knows you're safe
Below are the games in the franchise that I own and some commentary on my extensive capabilities in each. Note: I've read that rescue requests are region-locked, so I can only support those in the Americas. Additionally, it does not matter if you are playing the older games via DS cartridge or Wii U Virtual Console. Same rescue system.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Ashley has granted kids to Hell... What about Sakurai?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ashley may still be playable... via threat.

A year ago, I wrote about the positive experience of Trans-Ashley, a male-to-female transgender who is finding great success in her life, including a singing career. (Which we showcased in that article. I like her singing.) This contrasts greatly with the experience with the original witch, Ashley. You see, she doesn't want to just be an Assist Trophy. She wants to be the Wario franchise's second playable character.

Unfortunately for Ashley, Super Smash Bros. director Masahiro Sakurai doesn't want Ashley to be a playable character. As revealed in last week's Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct, Ashley was once again relegated to be an Assist Trophy. She had the “red eyes” that Masahiro Sakurai was claiming he would have.

...Or so, that's what it looks at first glance. And I admit, that's what I initially thought as well. But clear your mind of any preconceived notions of Ashley being an Assist Trophy in Super Smash Bros. 4 and look what was actually confirmed in the Direct. And, more importantly, what was not confirmed.

Monday, August 13, 2018

Microsoft Flight Simulator to Plane Stealing?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The simulator is blameless.

You may have heard that over the weekend, a Horizon Air ground-crew member, Richard Russell (29 years young) of Seattle stole a Bombardier Dash 8 Q400 airliner for a suicidal joy-ride — after doing some tricks (including a barrel roll, which he always wanted to do), he crashed into a small island and died. He was the only person in the plane. Since that airliner does not operate via keys — one has to go through many intricate actions to get it flying via the control panel — the Labo's Vehicle Kit master key was not found responsible.

Now here's the interesting part — Russell wasn't a pilot. He never flew a real plane before. He just worked at the airport. While he was flying around doing tricks, an air traffic controller tried to help him fly the thing, but Russell claimed that he didn't need help, because he had “played some video games before. ... I know what I'm doing, a little bit!” While it appears that instantaneous mastery of a vehicle is one of the traits that the Labo key grants, since there wasn't a key slot in the plane, Russell must have gotten his flying skills the old-fashioned way:

Friday, August 10, 2018

Dragon Ball FighterZ Open Beta on Nintendo Switch... could use some work.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...It's a beta, not a demo. If you consider it a demo, it's terrible.

We have been lobbying Bandai Namco for Dragon Ball FighterZ to come to the Nintendo Switch ever since it was announced, and continued to lobby for it after it was released on other platforms. Then it was announced at Nintendo's E3 2018, amidst a flurry of many other things. We haven't said anything since, but now is a good time to — between Friday morning and the end of Saturday, Dragon Ball FighterZ has an Open Beta that you can download and experience from the Nintendo eShop!

If you don't know how to play the game already, then you're going to struggle with it since the game doesn't make an effort to teach you how. They don't display the controls in a prominent place before the game starts, like Pokkén Tournament DX. However, there are Battle Tutorials in the game. I recommend you play through all of them before playing other people. They are... really hidden away, but here's a video teaching you how to access them:

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is Full of Content... is it the WRONG Content?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Chromtent.

Did you watch the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct featuring Masahiro Sakurai yesterday? You can watch it and read my reactions here. You can also read Nintendo's very detailed press release about it here. Please familiarise yourself with the material, since this article will go in-depth about it and it's best we all have the same baseline. I'm not going to summarise it in this article, since you now already (know) everything you need to know.

Oh, one more thing: On Tuesday, I wrote an article defending Masahiro Sakurai as an exhausted, overworked person who people should stop thinking is trying to put hidden messages in his statements. People who saw Sakurai's statement about tired, red eyes as a hint for King K. Rool or something related to vampires had no humanity.

Well, it turns out that I'm wrong. King K. Rool is now playable. Simon Belmont is now playable. Richter Belmont is now playable. Alucard is an Assist Trophy. Dracula is a stage boss. Given how wrong I was to view Sakurai as a human being and not a troll, the contingency for me being wrong in that article was,
“In that case, Ludwig will never feel sympathy for Sakurai ever again,”
So I'm going to be very harsh in my assessment of the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct. Masahiro Sakurai has a personal grudge against me spanning years, and it's about time I have a grudge against him and stick to it.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Ludwig's Non-Live Reaction to the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct (8/8/18)!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Well then. That's a lot of content.

Today is the day. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct. I'm reacting to it by myself because everyone on the staff has different enough schedules that no one could commit to watching it at the same time. For example, Rawk watched it live. Kamek still hasn't watched it because he works weird hours, so we're actually avoiding discussing any spoilers in our Discord server out of consideration for him.

I also don't want to spoil this above the page break, so here are just my reactions. I avoided the whole Internet ever since last night, so I could come into this Direct completely fresh and unspoiled. Tomorrow I'll write an actual article about my thoughts:

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Masahiro Sakurai Says What He Means

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He's not trying to obfuscate.

When Masahiro Sakurai writes a tweet that he'll be presenting for tomorrow's Nintendo Direct dedicated to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and that he'll be tired (from all of the work he's doing working on the game), the normal response is to feel compassion for the Super Smash Bros. franchise director.

Embedded Bing translate says:
I will also do some kind of presentation. Because I think that it is comparatively easy to see in the Japan, please watch it! The eyes may be a little red, but this is tired eyes...”
The abnormal response, which a lot of people are doing in that tweet's replies and elsewhere, is to think that Masahiro Sakurai is trying to hint at a character reveal. You know, for a character that has tired, red eyes. Like King K. Rool. Have some humanity. You don't deserve a character reveal.

Here's a guy apologising in advance for a possibly non-photogenic appearance due to stress and long hours. He's worked himself nearly to death in the past, sustaining injuries. He doesn't even get a day off. He gets death threats from rabid Waluigi fans and who knows what else. He doesn't even stick around for E3 but goes to fly a midnight flight to Japan to nerf Bayonetta.

And you thank him by applying bizarre scrutiny to any statement he'll make, construing it for your own agenda? Please, Sakurai doesn't have any reason to leak his own creations ahead of schedule (or even after the fact). He's super-concerned about that sort of thing, and that's why there's no story mode in Super Smash Bros. For Wii U.

If you want to apply deep analysis and parsing of language to something, do it to KoopaTV. We're actually designed for that kind of depth. The more time and effort you put into KoopaTV, the significantly more you'll get out of KoopaTV. There's a net gain for you. If you do that with Masahiro Sakurai, the world will have a net loss.

Do the math.

(There is a small possibility that this entire article is wrong and Sakurai actually is hinting that he's going to cosplay as a vampire in the Direct with fake bloodshot contact lenses to demonstrate new Mii Fighter functionality or something. In that case, Ludwig will never feel sympathy for Sakurai ever again, and he'll stop forgetting that he put Sakurai on the list of news sources to stay away from.)

Ludwig wanted to title this article, “Masahiro Sakurai is not Alan Greenspan” to reference “fedspeak”, but he did a poll and it turns out that the vast majority of people don't know who Alan Greenspan is, or any other Federal Reserve chairman. He considers this proof that public education is a disaster. By the way, don't expect a log published on KoopaTV immediately following the Direct, since Ludwig and most of the staff won't be able to watch the Direct live. It's called a day job. 11 PM for Japan means 10 AM for Eastern time.

The announcement that this Direct is happening was made during EVO 2018, and if Sakurai was watching that, then EVO 2018's events were certainly tired-eye-worthy.
It's pretty obvious from watching the Direct itself that there is a major flaw in this article.
Masahiro Sakurai deserves no sympathy.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Super Smash Bros. at EVO 2018: A Mysterious Destiny

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Won’t let go of the fight ‘til tomorrow is Bayonetta's. (...Then it's okay.)

The biggest fighting game tournament of the year, EVO 2018, was last weekend! And for Super Smash Bros. For Wii U, it was really controversial. Here at KoopaTV, we revel in that controversy. And as someone who follows the competitive scenes for both Super Smash Bros. Melee and Super Smash Bros. For Wii U (and watched both of their EVO brackets), I can give you informed statements. I'll tell you what happened, what the reactions were, and then my thoughts on those reactions, and the future of the franchise's competitive activity.

What happened at EVO 2018 for Super Smash Bros.

Both Super Smash Bros. For Wii U and Super Smash Bros. Melee got around 1350 entrants, so these are absolutely massive tournaments. The top 8 for the former was Saturday night, and the top 8 for the latter was Sunday morning/noon. (Sunday for EVO is considered much more desirable.)

There were a lot of upsets for Super Smash Bros. For Wii U getting to the top 8, and many prominent players were eliminated earlier than expected. That's sort of true for Super Smash Bros. Melee but the top 8 for that was nearly what you'd expect. (Bummer for Mew2King.)

For Super Smash Bros. For Wii U, that meant all of the EVO 2018 top 8 members were not in the top 8 for EVO 2017, including EVO 2017 champion and Bayonetta professional, Salem. This time, there were three Bayonetta players, two Diddy Kong players, a Zero Suit Samus, a Duck Hunt, and a Lucina. After the amazing match between MVD vs. Raito to determine 7th place (Diddy vs. Duck Hunt), I went to sleep. It was simply very late at night, and I didn't have the energy for watching a bunch of boring Bayonetta-involved matches.

Friday, August 3, 2018

Madden NFL 19: Colin Kaepernick? No big deal. Nintendo Switch? Real controversy

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Real talk about the real issue.

There was a minor uproar among the gaming and sports media about a song licensed for Electronic Arts's Madden NFL 19, which is available for Origin Access (and/or also for EA Access — why does EA have multiple of these programs?) right now, though the full game will be released next week on August 10.

The song was Big Bank by the rap artist YG. You can listen to it here, but it's quite explicit and also terrible listening. I don't recommend it. In any case, somehow people who listened to the song while playing the game managed to actually sit through and not mute their audio long enough to hear that the verse in the song that name-drops failed American football player Colin Kaepernick was brushed out and replaced with silence. (Around 2:12 in the song.)

EA has since apologised and will update their early access before-the-game-is-actually-launched build of the game once the weekend is over. Their explanation is basically that their content team didn't fully understand their legal team's instructions regarding licensed material, and they thought they didn't have the license to have Kaepernick's name in the song because they didn't have the license for him to appear in the game.

That explanation is very likely what actually happened (if you don't think that's the case, you probably haven't worked for a large company with a legal department — you tend to be on the safe side when working with licensed stuff), marking this one of the only times that, in all likelihood, Electronic Arts has told the truth in a statement.

The real controversy, to me, is that, once again and really, as usual, Electronic Arts is snubbing Nintendo. Madden NFL is still not on a Nintendo console since Madden NFL 13, after EA lied on their website about the popularity of the Wii U. Somehow, even FIFA 18 is on the Nintendo Switch (even if the only reason to buy a FIFA game, Alex Hunter, is not), but Madden? Nope.

Why does EA Sports (and Electronic Arts as a whole) despise Nintendo? Do you despise EA back? Which do you think is a bigger story: An honest mistake by EA about their legal rights around Colin Kaepernick, or the relationship between EA and Nintendo? Also, do you think that Big Bank song is horrible, and would you want to play American football to that sorry excuse for music?

Colin Kaepernick is famous for kneeling during the national anthem while he was still signed to a team, a move that KoopaTV approves of.
Ludwig notes what's happening with the Madden NFL series because KoopaTV is infamous for doing ground-breaking journalism efforts around the Madden Curse movie, from start-to-finish.
Ludwig doesn't have a particular hatred for rap songs sung by black people. He has a guilty pleasure for 50 Cent's song, Money.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

The Power Of... Us? What Happened to One?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Completely changing the message of Pokémon the Movie: The Power of One, and the consequences...

Continuing off the rebooted alternate timeline established in the 20th Pokémon movie, Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You (live-reacted-to by KoopaTV's staff over here), the 21st Pokémon movie is based off of Pokémon the Movie: The Power of One (otherwise known as Pokémon 2000), but in an alternate timeline. And by based off, I mean they have little in common other than Ash, Pikachu, Team Rocket, and there being a plot focused on Lugia. The 21st movie is the second movie in the alternate timeline, and The Power of One is the second movie in the original timeline.

It'll be called Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us.

The Power of Us's trailer is about “some things I can't do alone, but together...!”
The Power of One's trailer is about “how one person will make all the difference.”

See what they did there? They turned “One” into “Us”. Now, there are two possibilities that I can think of for why that happened:
  1. Consider that, in a way, The Power of Us is a sequel to The Power of One... like, “The Power of One 2”. Given that, they decided to just pluralise it as wordplay.
  2. They wanted to do away with the individualistic, “one person can make a difference” message and turn it into a collectivist one because of ideology.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

KoopaTV's July 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I really liked this month. Did you?

Somtimes, KoopaTV surprises ourselves with how brilliant we are. (I am the primary driver of brilliance on this website, obviously.) In this case, looking back, it's weird to think that some of the earlier articles in July were from... July. It feels like so long ago. But KoopaTV's content has been consistently awesome for that whole long stretch of time. (Compare that to June, which zipped by because of that big event in the middle of the month.)

Let me prove that by showing you our top five recommended articles of the month...

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Articles of July 2018

This list is in chronological order. If you're only going to read five articles from this month, you'll want to pick these five. That said, there are some notable snubs, and that's because, as I said, KoopaTV was consistently awesome.
  1. Chain Chomp: Free at Last! (This is BAD!) —  The story about how Chomps were roaming around and free, chained up thanks to King Bowser, and then freed again by the non-Koopa nations. This is bad for public safety.
  2. Nintendo, could your eShop card activation code be a little bigger font size? — Providing details on Nintendo's vendor for their Nintendo eShop cards, and requesting that they have a bigger font size because they're hard to read.
  3. The Splatfest Race War: Squid vs. Octopus — The Splatfest for July 2018, in “celebration” of the one-year anniversary of Splatoon 2, created a senseless race war between Inklings and Octolings.
  4. Koopas Dominate Sports  — No matter what sport you put in front of us, Koopas will end up mastering it better than anyone else.
  5. The Threat of the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit — The threat coming from the Nintendo Labo is intensifying with the third Toy-Con kit, the Vehicle Kit. Ludwig gets his own vehicles and is preparing for a strike.
Some of those articles are considered “must-have” to have on this top five, to the exclusion of many other great articles from this month. Seriously, every article on KoopaTV is worth reading. We're great. You're great, too, as seen here:

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

June 30, 2018 Nintendo Quarterly Financial Update

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring some very long-awaited sales figures.

No matter how good Nintendo's. financials get, it's like the stock market doesn't care. Bummer.

In other news, Nintendo is making some sweet money as of their quarter ending June 30, 2018. I know you don't care about the particulars (you don't go to KoopaTV for stock picking or financial news), but just know that everything is holding pretty steady (aka good) except for the 3DS, which continues to collapse in terms of numbers sold, as you'd expect. There's only so many kids 5–8 to sell to.

Meanwhile, the Nintendo Switch has sold 19.67 million units as of June 30, and 86.93 million units of software. Among the top software are Super Mario Odyssey (11.17 million), Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (10.35 million), The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (9.32 million), and Splatoon 2 (6.76 million). And then there is a big gap going down to the 2 million units, but your takeaway for those four games is that they make up almost half of all Nintendo Switch software sold.

So let's look at the bottom-tier million-plus sellers again: 

Monday, July 30, 2018

The Threat of the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Keep the Labo away from my vehicular treasures!

I might be the only one in Koopa Kingdom to think this, but great taste is often only distributed to a particular set of geniuses: The Super Ludsub is one of the greatest technological marvels of all time, and the best vehicular weapon ever made. Also near the top is the Doomship with my face attached to it, along with the Landship. (Planes are better than cars, and if you were wondering, submarines are the best of all!)

Last week, however, Nintendo announced a global threat to transportation: Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit — due for a September 14, 2018 release. Given what we know about Nintendo Labo — it's highly dangerous and can possess cardboard objects and turn them against their owners — this is a unique threat to the Super Ludsub. The Super Ludsub, as the name suggests, is a brilliant submarine that is, get this, made of cardboard.

Do you know what's in the Vehicle Kit? A car, a submarine, and a plane.

...And a pair of keys, the Toy-Con Keys, that reportedly enable the hijacking of any vehicle.

Yeah, you think I'm nuts for what I've written about the Labo? You don't think it's possible for a cardboard-with-sensors product to do everything I've said since it was announced? Well, for all the evidence you'll ever need, read this quote from the press release:

Friday, July 27, 2018

Kirby Star Allies: Dream Friends Wave 2 Update Released!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Kirby Star Allies version 3.0. Get the update. Has slightly more than just Dream Friends in it.

Four months (exactly) after Kirby Star Allies Dream Friends Wave 1, we now have Dream Friends Wave 2. I wanted Captain Vul, but instead we get Adeleine and Ribbon from Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, Dark Meta Knight from Kirby & The Amazing Mirror, and Daroach from Kirby: Squeak Squad. Here's a trailer featuring them from Nintendo:

As was the case for Wave 1, the developers actually put effort into fully integrating the new Dream Friends. They show up in all-friend cutscenes like every other friend, and other end-game and post-game story mode content that is spoiler-y to share but great to experience. The Dream Friends themselves are incredibly potent.

Kirby Star Allies Dream Friends Wave 2 Adeleine and Ribbon Dark Meta Knight Daroach in-game information
Here's one of the in-game notifications you get after installing the update.
“More Dream Friends! There are now 9 Dream Friends! Use them all as allies!”

The big thing that Nintendo is promoting are the availability of these Dream Friends and their custom Guest Star ???? Star Allies Go! levels. Secondarily, there are three new celebration pictures that each require eighty blue puzzle pieces. As of writing I've just started.

Lastly, the game has some updates to Guest Star ???? Star Allies Go! for the non-Dreamers. You can play through multiple helpers’ quests without finishing them. Previously, you had to finish an entire character's set of levels (each take about 80 minutes) before being able to play another character. I'm not sure why you wouldn't want to do that (you'll be the most effective while absorbed in a given character's moveset instead of going through all sorts of different files).

Another update to Guest Star is that they shortened Level 5 by removing the introduction to the story mode post-story stage, Extra Planet δ. (In story mode, this is also the stage they updated.) This takes two and a half minutes off the time. It doesn't look like they've added or removed anything else, based on my post-update playthrough with NESP. There's a number of segments that I would've liked for them to also remove (such as certain underwater segments, cannon segments, and segments where you just sit around and avoid getting crushed by moving blocks or the floor/ceiling), but I'll save that for my still-to-come review of Kirby Star Allies.

If you've already completed Guest Star ???? Star Allies Go! with a given character, you can now go back and replay Level 5 with anyone you've completed it with to try to get a more efficient time. You can't go back and replay the earlier levels — like Level 4, unless you make a New Game with that helper and start from the beginning.

There will be a Wave 3 to come for this game. Ludwig won't write the Kirby Star Allies review until after Wave 3's release. He also wants to complete Guest Star ???? Star Allies Go! with every character, and he is saving the nine Dream Friends for last because he's patient enough to save the best for last. He's actually almost done with everyone else's.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Wahaha! WarioWare Gold! Demo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My scores are pretty good.

If you still have a Nintendo 3DS and have at least 816 blocks of storage on it, I recommend you go download the demo for WarioWare Gold from the Nintendo eShop. It's quick, full of charm, and fun. It's worth downloading for the virtual instruction manual alone, which is written in first-person by Wario.

WarioWare Gold virtual digital instruction manual how to play my game Wario microgames
The way Wario describes his microgames reminds me of how I'd describe KoopaTV articles.
Super-awesome and created by me and my flunkies, but mainly me. (Though it actually is mainly me. Wario's lying.)
WarioWare Gold has 4 ways to play the 300 microgames included, each lasting around 5 seconds long. 
  1. Mash, which involves using the D-Pad and A button
  2. Twist, which involves using the 3DS's gyroscope to move it left and right, along with the A button
  3. Touch, which involves using the touch screen with your stylus (or icky finger)
  4. Mic, which involves using the microphone. Handily, the instruction manual tells you where your 2DS or 3DS's microphone actually is, providing a different diagram for all of Nintendo's different versions of the handheld device
The demo only has Mash, Twist, and Touch modes, which include six microgames per mode. That means you're demoing a healthy 6% of the full game microgame content, which doesn't include all of the other goodies the full game will include. The demo spares no effort to give you a cutscene after you're done playing a mode, telling you about different features in the full game.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn isn't that expensive compared to modern Fire Emblem experiences...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's dispel with this Fire Emblem fiction.

Time and time again, I've heard from people who have become Fire Emblem fans because of Fire Emblem: Awakening and after, that they would be interested in playing Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance (GameCube) and Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn (Wii), but they are prohibitively expensive. I tell them there is a giant quality difference between the Tellius games (Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn make up one saga) and every Fire Emblem game that came after, and their attachment is to inferior experiences.

I don't even call myself a Fire Emblem fan anymore, since I want nothing to do with where the series has gone after the Tellius games. Still, I want to advocate that people play the Tellius games, especially deluded modern Fire Emblem fans. I also advocate for the truth.

Here's the truth: You might be spending more money on the modern Fire Emblem games than it'd cost to buy Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance can be pricier, but depending on your confidence in second-hand markets, it's still pretty reasonable.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Banning Straws Only Leaves Outlaws With Straws

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Outlaws will fare well.

Some ridiculous municipalities in the United States of America are doing loony things in the name of the environment — banning (Seattle, with San Francisco and New York considering it) and even criminalising plastic straw usage, in the case of the city of Santa Barbara, California.

Santa Barbara just passed an ordinance, taking effect in 2019, that plastic straw distribution by vendors to people will result in a written warning for the first offense, and for the second time, “remedies specified pursuant to Chapters 1.25 and 1.28 of this code.” 1.28 of the code has the punishment for a misdemeanor as $1,000 and/or six months in jail.

By the way, for every individual straw you might provide, it's potentially a misdemeanor.

Two straws? Two misdemeanors.

Grasping at straws? You're better off drowning.

Paper Mario Color Splash can't outlaw straws only outlaws will have straws plastic ban
You may recall this dialogue being used in our Paper Mario: Color Splash review.
(Try to point out the differences between the two pictures in the comments section.)

You thought the above Paper Mario: Color Splash picture was a commentary on gun control? Nah, the supposedly pro-civil-liberties progressive leftists don't just want to keep firearms out of the hands of bad guys, but they want to keep utensils out of your mouth. Sort of like a parent who wants you to stop using a pacifier because you're supposedly too old to be sucking on one. Except time-out is a jail cell.

By the way, there are many benefits to using disposable straws to consume beverages, and the downsides to the environment are rather negligible. For example, this month, a dentist told me that straws limit the damage to your teeth and tooth enamel from acidic beverages such as soda, by concentrating the acid in a specific spot (and hopefully bypassing your teeth) rather than swishing it around to all of your teeth. (They told me this because my tooth enamel has basically disintegrated and it doesn't come back. Whoops.) Another example is with regards to disabled people that have some kind of mouth problem, but I don't have any first-mouth knowledge on that. I also don't have first-mouth knowledge on plastic straw alternatives — reusable paper straws sound like I'm eating low-grade toilet paper, and my editor keeps telling me that there are stainless steel straws but I have no idea what he's talking about. (He says they're dangerous.)

So, yeah, progressives suck (just... not through straws) and just want to control your life for any excuse possible (“the environment!”).

Ludwig realises the previous sentence isn't exactly a new lesson to KoopaTV readers, but he just wanted to use the Paper Mario: Color Splash picture of the “Oh, who am I kidding? I can't outlaw straws. Because then only outlaws will have straws.” quote in relation to a current event because it's perfect.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Thanks, Splatfest: Conserving Inkopolis Square for Inklings

Squidwig KoopaTV avatarBy LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Real talk about the Squid vs. Octopus Splatfest result.

Hey. This isn't Ludwig. It's Squidwig. I'm back after a VERY long absence (check out my article history in the links below the footer — the latest was 2015), because I can't just let that Koopa guy not talk about the results of the Splatfest that just happened: Squid vs. Octopus. And, let's get real, it's Inkling vs. Octoling.

KoopaTV does a great job of talking about Splatfests before they happen, but they don't do the follow-up discussion on the results. The results for this Splatfest are particularly important for my society. Here they are:

Splatoon 2 Splatfest results Squid vs. Octopus votes solo team popularity win percents
Team Squid won the Splatfest because of battle performance. Team Octopus won popularity by 12 points.

Let's talk about that votes row in the results. Team Squid got 44%. Team Octopus got 56%. Pretty much every Inkling in Inkopolis Square voted for Team Squid, and every Octoling in Inkopolis Square voted for Team Octopus. Do you know what that means?

The squids are outnumbered. In our own society. The Octarians are reproducing and claiming residence too quickly. There are more of them than us. That's not okay. We squids need to not be so limp-tentacled that some of us put up signs like this:

Friday, July 20, 2018

Koopas Dominate Sports

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We're superior.

As you may expect from the webmaster of a site called KoopaTV, I (only) play as the Koopas in any of Mario's sporty spin-offs. My loyalty and dedication to my own kind is paying off pretty well — between all the members of Koopa Kingdom, we're doing very well and scoring just fine. There's a reason why we thought it was a good idea to attempt to enter the 2016 Summer Olympics as Team Koopa — WE HAVE THE SKILLS.

I wasn't sure whether or not to separate this by sport or by Koopa, since there'll be some redundancy on the basis that Koopas are multi-talented, so I hope this reads well. By the way, for the purposes of this article (and, well, in general), Mario Sports Mix doesn't exist. No one ever talks about it. It's a mess.


The Koopas are some of the best baseball players around. When Bowser is up at bat, it's irregular if he doesn't just get a homerun. Almost every Koopa has chemistry with King Bowser in Mario Superstar Baseball (...Magikoopa doesn't), and chemistry gives a power-up to the folks who share it. (Stronger hits, better fielding.) King Bowser also has the fastest fast ball, from a pitcher's perspective, in the game.

Similar to King Bowser Koopa, Hammer Bro. and Boomerang Bro. are also extremely good, getting consistent homeruns with his sweetspot hammer, or an amazing curve for base-running, respectively. Magikoopa has fantastic fielding with his magic wand, as well as a great Star Hit that hugs the foul line and ensures you get on first base... or second.

The folks like Koopa Troopa, Paratroopa, and Dry Bones are also pretty reliable and decent fielders with good throwing arms. Bowser Jr. may actually be the weak link. Since Magikoopa lacks chemistry with the rest of the Koopas besides Bowser Jr. (fixed in the sequel where Magikoopa has chemistry with Bowser), and there aren't enough for a 9-player team, I recommend King Boo and Boo (Boo has chemistry with Magikoopa) instead of Goomba and Paratroopa to fill the last slots. Boo and King Boo are ridiculous as-is, and also serve as additional pitchers, if not main pitchers since King Bowser's fielding chemistry and Laser Beam abilities can be put to better use if he's not pitching.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

CAPCOM Summer Sale 2018 — Ace Attorney, too!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm actually jealous that you can get the entire Ace Attorney franchise at this low a price.

On Monday, I wrote about the rather underwhelming Prime Day 2018, but pointed out that the Ace Attorney anime box set for Part 1 of Season 1 was on sale for 34% off. I also wrote that...
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy that is three whole games for $30 on the 3DS. If  [that] sounds a lot more appealing and a natural deal, you're free to go to the eShop at any time and buy it. (But if and when an Ace Attorney game gets discounted past its natural bargain price, KoopaTV will tell you.)”

Just days later, a whopping FOUR Ace Attorney titles are discounted past their natural bargain prices, because for a limited time only (less than one week), it's the CAPCOM Summer Sale, 2018!

CAPCOM Summer Sale 2018 Nintendo 3DS eShop Phoenix Wright Apollo Justice Ace Attorney Dual Destinies Spirit of Justice Trilogy
How do these discounts compare to previous CAPCOM sales? (Spoiler: Most favourably.)

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

A Casual Tier List Cannot Exist

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How do you define casual?

In a discussion about Shulk in the Super Smash Bros. series today in the KoopaTV private Discord server, RawkHawk2010 asked me if Shulk's Monado Arts selection buff would increase his tier list position for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I said no, pros tend to mainly use Jump and Speed Monado Arts, and Shulk professionals are already very good about quickly button-mashing to the art they need. Then Rawk, feeling defeated about the prospect of Shulk rising in the competitive tier list, asked me if there is a tier list for casuals. I answered a flat “no”.

Over a decade ago, I wanted to try to make a casual tier list for Super Smash Bros. Melee and post it on the Nintendo NSider Forums. This never happened, because I gave up during my idea-formulation. How would I define the skill level of a casual? They obviously can't wavedash or L-cancel, but can they at least jump? Shield? Use up-b off the stage to recover? I've encountered a lot of players in Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Smash Bros. For Wii U's online modes who couldn't or wouldn't do any of those things, even with my helpful UPBRECOVER name-tag in the latter game. (And then demonstrating Up-B Recoveries, with their character, in front of them in the next match. Yeah, I try to be helpful to newbies.)

I remember Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime's pathetic performance versus Hungrybox in the Nintendo World Championships 2015 — Reggie literally didn't know how to use the jump button.

Reggie Fils-Aime vs. Hungrybox score plays Super Smash Bros. For Wii U Nintendo World Championship 2015 sucks Ryu
Reggie lost this many stocks in only four minutes, and Hungrybox wasn't exactly trying.
Should the casual tier list be based on players like Reggie?

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

The Splatfest Race War: Squid vs. Octopus

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Insidious race war creation. We're not for it.

A couple of weeks ago, Nintendo revealed the next Splatfest theme for Splatoon 2. While it was announced some time ago, KoopaTV has chosen to procrastinate on writing an article about it until the last week before the Splatfest occurs. There's a reason why, but let's reveal the theme before I explain everything:

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Team Squid vs. Octopus sea creature Off the Hook announcement
Which sea creature do you like more?
Squid or octopus?

At first glance, someone unfamiliar with Splatoon 2 may see that theme and think, “Well, so what?” They're just asking about sea creatures. You know, like the kind that you can go to visit an aquarium to see

But... this is actually much more dangerous than an innocuous inquiry about sea creatures. It's extremely dangerous, as Off the Hook's Marina points out immediately after Pearl reads the fax machine message identifying what the Splatfest theme is:

Monday, July 16, 2018

Prime Day 2018; of dogs and an attorney

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - For gaming, it's what you'd expect.

After indefinite refreshing of Amazon and trying for many hours, I've gotten past their 503 errors (service unavailable — not a good message when a lot of the world now relies on Amazon cloud services for keeping their Internet lights on) featuring dog photographs, ostensibly of the dogs that their employees are allowed to bring into their office. As far as I'm concerned, these canines are little better than Chain Chomps, and they're the ugly face of Amazon's technical errors.

Having made my way past the treacherous mutt-ridden annals of Amazon, what have I found for Amazon's Prime membership-only Prime Day super-sales day from a gaming perspective? Truly... not much. That's not a surprise, since I sort of write that every year.

Once again, it's a great time to buy stuff like carrying cases, SD cards, headsets, chargers, and Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2. Nothing truly amazing or a must-purchase. One item is notable, though. (And... not a must-purchase.)

You can get the box set for the Ace Attorney anime Part 1 (episodes 1–13) at 34% off, or $43 instead of $65. That still isn't even close to covering the noted price gap between the anime part that covers four-fifths of one game, and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy that is three whole games for $30 on the 3DS. If the latter sounds a lot more appealing and a natural deal, you're free to go to the eShop at any time and buy it. (But if and when an Ace Attorney game gets discounted past its natural bargain price, KoopaTV will tell you.)

There is an article that Ludwig has to write before this week is over, but he's been absolutely dreading doing so because he's afraid of what it will do to KoopaTV's reputation, so he's trying to delay it. It'll be obvious what the article is when it comes. All of that is to say nothing about Prime Day 2018, which makes sense, since there isn't anything to say about it.

Prime Day 2017 wasn't all that good, either, but at least Ludwig tried to do something extra with the article space.
For that $43 you could spend on the anime, you could buy the entire Ace Attorney series.

Friday, July 13, 2018

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Future Updates: Trump Pack!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A KoopaTV exclusive scoop.

Did you hear that Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on the Nintendo Switch will still be getting additional content? It's true. Shinya Takahashi, general producer on most of Nintendo's games in the past several years (also referred to as “that Takahashi guy” in a recent article about the 78th Nintendo shareholder Q&A), said so in this social media video from Nintendo of America covering a range of topics, including Mario Kart 8 Deluxe.

Nintendo general producer Shinya Takahashi Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Nintendo Switch
Here is Takahashi finishing a low-resolution bow to the camera, stating,
“There will be further updates for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, so please look forward to it.”

For some context, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe just got an update allowing you to use the Nintendo Labo Toy-Con Motorbike as a control method, which means that the Nintendo Labo is spreading its cardboard control over more than just other cardboard, but to any form of software that it can find. Since you can now find software in pretty much any product nowadays, this makes the Nintendo Labo extremely dangerous should you allow automatic updates. (Sometimes, such as in Mario Kart 8 on the Wii U, you don't get a choice and it updates itself for the worse.)

What kind of updates are we looking at? Well, KoopaTV did an investigation and found this in the works for a NEW CHARACTER:

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Revisiting amiibo Economics in 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Market conditions changed, and amiibo are less of a priority for both Nintendo and consumers.

In the same interview where Nintendo of America's president Reggie Fils-Aime described why Nintendo continues to prop up the Nintendo 3DS, he described Nintendo's stance on amiibo to be, “We continue to be all in.” This is contrary to new all-of-Nintendo president Shuntaro Furukawa's went-out-of-his-way omission of amiibo in his letter to shareholders. It's likely wiser to take Furukawa's word on this over Reggie's, but here's the data count of how many amiibo are releasing in what year, if you want to just look at the numbers and not executive spin:

Nintendo number of amiibo released each year to 2018 chart graph
Data applies to North America only; compiled by counting the amiibo Character Lineup page on July 12, 2018,
plus Super Smash Bros. series Ridley, Inkling Girl, and Wolf. (Those aren't on the page.)
amiibo card series counts as one amiibo per series.
2018 figure represents as-of-now announced amiibo. More may be to come.

Still, to this day, the Super Smash Bros. series amiibo is not complete. In fact, there's some new members that appear to slightly bend the amiibo economics:

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

With Zero not in Mega Man's Final Smash, where is he?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What isn't he fighting for?

Is this already easily explained within the Mega Man community?

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Mega Man Final Smash Legends Proto Bass X Volnutt .EXE Star Force MegaMan
Between Super Smash Bros. 4 and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate,
Mega Legends (the name for Mega Man's Final Smash) added Proto Man and Bass.

From the live reaction log for Nintendo's E3 2018 presentation, which proves a natural desire for Zero (to the point of seeing a character in red and mistaking him for Zero):
“[12:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: MEGA MAN

[12:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: MEGA MAN'S FINAL SMASH HAS ZERO
[12:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Proto Man and Bass

[12:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf I thought it was Zero

[12:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: <_<”

With Proto Man and Bass there, where is Zero? Originally, Zero wasn't included because everyone included in the Final Smash was using a Mega Buster, leaving Zero to be a Mii costume. But Proto Man uses his Proto Buster, and Bass uses his Bass Buster. Zero also uses a Buster, appropriately named the Zero Buster. (In Mega Man Zero, he also used a handheld Buster Shot gun.) As a Buster-user in the Mega Man X franchise, the Zero Buster was more powerful than X's Mega Buster. He definitely can stand up there as a legend and shoot a big laser beam with the rest of them. No problem there.

Zero is not a “Mega Man”, but neither are Proto Man or Bass. Zero, at least, has his own game series, so I'd say he's more of a legend than either Proto Man or Bass. The only legendary thing Proto Man ever did was... almost... blow up President Lincoln's...statue. As Proto Man himself said, “almost only counts in horseshoes.” Zero qualifies to be there, so for him to be omitted when Proto Man and Bass are allowed must mean something.

Will Zero be a new playable character? An Assist Trophy? ...Would the former be a barrier to prevent Phoenix Wright from becoming a playable character?

Can we just get CAPCOM to make a “Nintendo vs. CAPCOM” already?

If there is a really straight-forward explanation for why Zero wouldn't qualify for being part of Mega Man's Final Smash, Ludwig would like to hear it. The only reasonable explanation is that Zero decided that being there wasn't worth fighting for.

We found where Zero is.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

What is MariCAR Inc., and why is Nintendo suing them?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Just from the headline alone and without reading the article, do you already have a guess on why Nintendo would sue?

Yesterday, I published an article about Nintendo's 78th annual shareholder meeting, and I teased Question 13 from an investor about MariCAR Inc.. Now, as promised, here's a whole article dedicated about it. First, I'll quote the exchange, with the first block being the investor, and the second being former Nintendo president Tatsumi Kimishima's answer:
 “For several years, there has been a company operating public road go-karts in Tokyo, which has damaged the image of Mario as they raced around the streets. We heard that Nintendo sued the company and lost the first trial. Is this true?”
“The lawsuit that we brought against MariCAR Inc. is still ongoing, and a court decision has not yet been made. Although we submitted a complaint to the Japan Patent Office regarding the MariCAR trademark held by MariCAR Inc., the decision was made that they could keep the MariCAR trademark. We are aware of some articles online that have mistaken this decision for Nintendo having lost the case. We cannot provide details of matters subject to court proceedings, but we will continue to fight to protect our intellectual property through the courts. There were reports of accidents involving public road go-karts, so we are making every effort to deal with this issue from that perspective as well.”

Two things stand-out from Kimishima's response:

Monday, July 9, 2018

Nintendo 78th Annual Meeting of Shareholders: Fun Q&A!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No, the amusement park won't take away from game sales.

I like to share Nintendo-related moments of amusement with my audience. In that spirit, here is the questions & answers summary from Nintendo's 78th Annual General Meeting of Shareholders, which may be the last time we ever see now-former president Tatsumi Kimishima say stuff to people. (The meeting took place on June 28, and the Board of Directors voted in Shuntaro Furukawa as the new president after the questions.)

I guess I'll just give a paragraph to interesting question-answer combinations and let you know which I'm talking about. That sound alright?

Take Question 2, for example. The investor is freaking out about Nintendo's stock price, which is falling ever since E3 2018 and before. (Buy low, sell high, folks.) Just to illustrate:

Nintendo NTDOY stock price chart April to July 2018 falling
In the picture: Nintendo's stock collapsing since the end of April.
(As you can see from the watermark, courtesy of Yahoo! Finance.)

Shinya Takahashi and Kimishima discussed E3 to divert the topic, and Shinya Takahashi claimed that E3 2018 was dedicated to not only Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, but also Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee!. And I'm not too sure, based on what we saw, that the latter is true. It only had one (lame) appearance on Nintendo Treehouse Live, after all. It was at the beginning to get it out of the way.

Friday, July 6, 2018

Nintendo, could your eShop card activation code be a little bigger font size?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I can barely read it.

I just gave out, at the start of this month, one $10 code for the Nintendo eShop, and one $10 code for Amazon. You know, for the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program. Great program. Just for commenting on KoopaTV articles and doing other activities, you compete with other people and whomever has the most points by the end gets a prize. Full details in that hyperlink.

So I deal with a lot of gift cards from retailers in order to make this possible. For Nintendo's eShop cards, you need to scratch off the back for this 16-character code that I then privately give to the winner. For Amazon, you peel off a sticker off the back for a 15-character code.

Now, take a look at the picture below for a comparison between the code for a Nintendo eShop card, and the code for an Amazon gift card:

Nintendo eShop card code Amazon gift claim format KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program InComm Fastcard ACI
Above: The Nintendo eShop card code given to Kody B. for his second-place prize.
Below: The Amazon gift card code given to ShinyGirafarig for her first-place prize.
(The codes are used already, so I don't recommend trying. But you're free to participate on this site and win a code for yourself!)

You have to squint really hard to read the Nintendo code, and you have to go out of your way to scratch it off with something. Not only are the letters small, but they're bold and with nearly nonexistent kerning, so it looks like they're going to bleed into one another and it's hard to transcribe. What a pain. But Amazon's is a nice and big healthy font, with a user-friendly peeling method.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Why the Nintendo 3DS is Still Around (2018)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's a year in that title, because we might revisit this in 2019 and have a different answer.

Are you someone who does not understand why Nintendo is keeping the Nintendo 3DS afloat, instead of combining all of their development and marketing efforts behind one console? I admit, I was one of those people. But take a look at Nintendo of America's Reggie Fils-Aime's answer in this Game Informer interview question about what the 3DS means for Nintendo:
[The Nintendo 3DS] continues to be a vibrant system. The reasons are, for the target audience we are going after – parents with kids – we see this as a great first device for that five, six, seven, and eight-year-old. The portability, the ability for the hardware to take damage and survive the drop test, over a thousand games available with new ones coming, that’s what’s driving the performance. It becomes a gateway for these kids that turn 10, 11, and 12 to then jump on to Nintendo Switch. It’s a strategy that’s working, and we’re going to continue to support that platform. We have more games coming, and certainly into 2019, we see it as a key part of our business.”
One wonders what Reggie expects nine-year-olds to play. Maybe he wants the number nine nixed.  I'm also not sure how “key” the 3DS is to Nintendo's business when two Nintendo presidents in a row decline to mention it in their letters to investors.

Anyway, I guess Nintendo is able to present remakes/ports of old games as “new” because their target audience for the 3DS wasn't even born when those games were first released. Nintendo will be able to selectively re-release titles for the Nintendo 3DS and then be able to help parents nurture their children on games that will prepare them for a lifelong pursuit of quality gaming excellence. (As opposed to having them start on mobile trash.) That strategy is exactly what I was asking for many years ago. Obviously, I can't and won't be mad at Nintendo for fulfilling this important and underappreciated role in the gaming ecosystem that I was the pioneer for advocating.

Hopefully you agree. If you don't, then you need to expand your thinking past just yourself. After all, if Nintendo is successful with their strategy, it indirectly and eventually benefits you as a Nintendo Switch-focused person.

Do you agree with how Nintendo is positioning the 3DS? If you're an active 3DS user over the age of eight years old, do you feel that Nintendo is underselling the 3DS by reducing it to a child's system? (And throwing its many E10+ or over games, like Ace Attorney, under the bus?) Alternatively, do you feel that Nintendo is underselling the Switch by not marketing it to children? Does this hint to how long Nintendo is planning to maintain the Switch's lifespan?

The Nintendo 3DS can also save you a trip to France, which can save your (and your child's) life.
Also from that Game Informer interview: An update on Nintendo's amiibo plan!