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Friday, December 14, 2018

My Nintendo Birthday Offer, 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I didn't take advantage of previous years. How about 2018?

Hot tip: Right now, you can go, without logging into anything, to and download this delicious Kirby wallpaper in four different sizes, including a mobile-looking vertical one.

Kirby Happy Birthday desktop wallpaper cake Waddle Dee
(There are also wallpapers for Super Mario Odyssey, Splatoon 2, and
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but this is the only one made especially for birthdays.)

As you should know, December is my birth month. Nintendo wants to make people feel like they care about your life, so when you register for a My Nintendo account, they take information like your birthday (which they ask for to see if you're an underaged child) and then sometimes use that information to personalise communications to you. That said, how personalised was this e-mail they sent to me?

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Kirby Star Allies Review — Complete Version

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The allies may be stars, but is Kirby Star Allies a shining star of the system?

We made a fairly big deal about the release of Kirby Star Allies when it released for the Nintendo Switch back in March of this year. Since then, Kirby Star Allies has had three substantive updates, adding new game modes, experiences, and content.

I think it's now worth writing a full review of the entire Kirby Star Allies game experience, since I initially refused to write a review until the game was actually complete.

Between the game's release and now, I've accumulated over 105 hours in the game, and have 100% completed everything (100%'ed Story Mode, gone through all the characters in Guest Star mode, all the hearts in Heroes in Another Dimension, completed all of the puzzles in the gallery) with the exception of the very final difficulty mode in The Ultimate Choice. I've gotten... close! But I don't feel that finishing that would impact the rest of this review.

My review won't have spoilers in it, but I also count anything in Nintendo's marketing materials as not a spoiler. Be careful of that. 

Kirby Star Allies title screen version 4.0.0
The title screen of Kirby Star Allies on its final version: 4.0.0. I'll be reviewing this version for you.

Fast Facts

Kirby Star Allies
Nintendo Switch
Published by Nintendo
Developed by HAL Laboratory
Action Platformer
Space Required
3.9 GB via game download
1.0 GB via physical game with updates
ESRB rating
E10+, featuring cartoon violence
Number of Players
Minimum of one, supports co-operative play of up to four players. Local multiplayer only
Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price
59.99 USD

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

How Nintendo Labo Is (Almost Literally) A Trainwreck

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And you thought the Labo would stick to cars, planes, and submarines?

At the end of December 2017, Kamek wrote (yeah, Kamek wrote) about why Amtrak should not exist, providing KoopaTV an expansion of our transportation philosophies by describing trains as one of the worst modes of transportation out there.

Afterwards, the Nintendo Labo decided to test our transportation ideals by announcing the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit. We immediately geared up for war. Things were quiet afterwards... even after the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit hit store shelves. It was really a stealth launch.

Don't mistake quiet for benign, however. Just recently, days following the great American tradition of Thanksgiving, an Amtrak train stopped right after leaving the station. ...It not only stopped, but it was stuck. For six hours.

To be specific, it was an Acela Express going from New York's Penn Station (around 9:40 AM) to Massachusetts's South Station. Amtrak markets the Acela Express as:

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Heroes vs. Villains: The Ultimate Splatfest

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's about the very questions of morality this whole site is about.

Is it okay if I take some time off discussing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate? Alright, let's go back to talking about Splatoon 2. In fact, there's a Splatfest happening this very weekend! Always a popular topic. Alright, what's the subject?

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Super Smash Bros Heroes Villains team news announcement scream
...Oh, the Splatfest is about Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Yesterday's article is all I really want to talk about for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the near future. For now, let's talk about Heroes vs. Villains.

More specifically, let's make this really clear up front. This is KoopaTV. Team Villains literally is fronted by King Bowser. Regardless of how right or wrong it is that Lord Bowser is defined as a villain, he's KoopaTV's primary focus. We must stand by him. There's really no debate about that.

But KoopaTV is all about arguments and debates and opinions, so I guess I gotta present something to you. Allow me to weigh the legitimacy of Off the Hook's arguments, and clue you in about who is likely to win.

Monday, December 10, 2018

First Weekend Thoughts On Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That was a fun KoopaTV staff meeting!

As we've been alluding to for some time now, KoopaTV just concluded a big staff meeting at our Sierra Leone headquarters. We all got together and discussed the site's future and progress, including what to do with our publishing schedule.

We also played a lot of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and ate a lot of chips with salsa. (But not homemade salsa donated by our readers. Store-bought's still pretty good, even in Sierra Leone.) Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a game our whole staff was looking forward to.

I have a lot of things to share about my thoughts, so I'm going to tell you what's on my mind. I'm also giving the opportunity for the other staff members to do the same!

Ludwig's Thoughts

First of all, in case you're wondering about the result of our play, I'm the best Super Smash Bros. player on the staff. It's not even close.

I've only played VS mode, Online, and Classic Mode as of writing. Yeah, I'm going to save Spirits for another time, but it's obvious that the game's in-game prizes and stuff revolve around Spirits. Spirits look to be Trophies, Stickers, and Equipment all put into one collectible.

The game feels incredible to play. It's very smooth. After I unlocked King Bowser (I have a whole article dedicated to my unlocked characters that I'll publish after I actually unlock all the characters), the universal 3-frame jump squat (which, in normal words, means “how much time passes between when the character prepares to jump and when the character is off the ground”) is a huge improvement for my dad, and he feels much faster and better. His work-outs from Wii Fit Trainer for Super Smash Bros. 4 have intensified for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and he's so flexible for someone with a giant shell!

Friday, December 7, 2018

A Smashily-Smashy Smash Bros. Retrospective

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Final article of the week, I wring thee forth.

Unlike with the fourth one, I can say I'm really feeling Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I complained for years that Smash 4's myriad of assets had no actual application in terms of single-player content ('tis a similar complaint I have with Mario Kart 8), and it looks like Ultimate will be addressing that concern thoroughly.

To celebrate the game's release I thought hey, why not look back on the series from perspectives relevant to fellow staffers and my interactions with them over the years? (Sound güd? Sounds güd!)

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to The Game Awards 2018

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Brought to you... GLOBALLY! Around the WORLD!

We are joined today by Ludwig, Kamek, Witch, friendly-neighborhood non-staffer Ryudragon, and myself. (Wendy's not dead but was eating dinner or something.) Nintendo hyped The Game Awards 2018, and I got almost all of the staff to watch the whole thing even though I was the only one who wanted to. (Ryu did too, if only for Metroid, which you'll have to read the log to see if that happened.)

Surely there are some great announcements here, right? We bring you our full reaction log to The Game Awards 2018, hosted by Geoff Keighley, and guest-starring Donald Mustard. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to host it the night before the release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate?

Wednesday, December 5, 2018


By RAWKHAWK2010 - Might as well give the influencer their due.

If you've been paying attention over the course of the past...half-week, you will have noticed that Day 1 was Ludwig being uncertain about KoopaTV's future via the November 2018 newsletter and Day 2 was me publishing three articles in one day without telling anyone. You could say December 4th was a prolific day in KoopaTV history. Someone in the newsletter comments thought it was because I felt guilty for not publishing anything on three "Rawk Tuesdays" in a row (and that I had actually written all three in a little over 12 hours as if I was even capable of doing that), but naaaaaaaaah. Here's what I commented in response:

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Insight into the World of Light; What Happened to Wendy and for Whom Does She Fight?

By RAWKHAWK2010 - I... I'm seeing something!

If Shulk had cared more about Wendy O. Koopa during his World of Light omnicide Vision, then the above is what he would have seen. Wendy, who wasn't present onsite, would have been seen at home playing MapleStory 2. I know because *I* saw it and with my own two present-day eyes. Plus that would have been a good guess to make anyways.

Unfortunately, what happens to Wendy at the end is kinda sorta officially her fault. Yes, there's almost no chance she could have escaped regardless when not even Bayonetta or Palutena could (and for reasons (allegedly) put forth by Sakurai that I still can't comprehend), but we'll never be 100% sure because of how impressively-focused Wendy was on things that weren't the pressing matters and the signs that pointed to them. The sky was unusually bright. Bowser hadn't been home in days! But Wendy's priorities still laid elsewhere.


By RAWKHAWK2010 - Yeah, those.

After suddenly remembering Mii can be made on the Switch (no joke, for months I thought Mii Maker was retired and that the Mii in people's Switch avatars had either come across on amiibo or were just already affiliated with the Nintendo Accounts in question. Don't ask me how I expected Switch-only owners to acquire one.), I recently began drafting a Mii Fighter army for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I've had a pretty good time, and with only three days til release I figured I'd show some of them off.

Now then, less words and more pictures!

Kasandra from Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Kasandra Mii Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Massive Melee Mythra is a Marvelous Meta Miracle

I never did write that article about Xenoblade Chronicles 2. ...Sorry to keep you waiting?

Mythra sent shockwaves across the internet last week after a picture of her Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Spirit was leaked wearing leggings. It's understandable. Images directly datamined from the game apparently have this awful dark contrast to them (apparently the engine itself has to come in and "correct" the lighting) which literally made it look like Mythra's legs were colored in with the Microsoft Paint fill tool. So yeah at first it kinda just looked...well, not great. We saw it in better quality later, but there were still many arguments against it to be had. Did it really do the Aegis of Light any good to lose her leg game? Would white leggings have been more appropriate as to not diminish her divergence from the other Aegis (who also happens to be the best-voiced Nintendo villain of all time)? Did "Leggings Mythra" really make any sense at all?

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Mythra Super Smash Bros. Ultimate leggings censorship side-by-side comparison
In Malos' voice: You. Tell. Me.
(Also the "breast window" is missing but no one cares about that whatsoever.)

Monday, December 3, 2018

KoopaTV's November 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The newsletter that's the most review-iest of all-time newsletters.

As much as I like treats, I don't like tricks, so I'm not going to sugarcoat this newsletter by acting like our November 2018 was as good as it could be.

November 2018 was defined by KoopaTV's new publishing schedule that began on November 12. Let's get right into what happened.

Ludwig May Have A Green Shell But He Knows How To Change Direction

Since Monday November 12, each of the five KoopaTV staffers were given a weekday to publish something. That was three full weeks in November, so there should have been 15 articles. What happened?
  • Kamek (Monday) — 1 article
  • RawkHawk2010 (Tuesday) — 0 articles
  • Wendy O. Koopa (Wednesday) — 0 articles
  • Ludwig Von Koopa (Thursday) — 3 articles
  • Witch Princess (Friday) — 2 articles
Six out of fifteen isn't good. 40%!

Back when former KoopaTV staffer Vortexica was still alive (rest in peace), he had a saying that as long as he did more in a year than Kamek, he felt he was doing his work as a staffer. That's a cheeky way of saying that Kamek is a very low bar to pass. (Uh, can we just have all the KoopaTV staffers be productive for your benefit?)

Well, two staffers failed the “Kamek test.” Everyone has their reasons (well, one staffer has no reason) despite everyone agreeing to the schedule. Rather than me blaming the other KoopaTV staff members (although you are all more than welcome to do so in the comments section!) in this newsletter, here's what we're going to do to fix things and finish the year strong in the most anticipated time period for a Nintendo fan since E3 2018.

Thursday, November 29, 2018

September 30, 2018 Nintendo Quarterly Financial Update

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Halfway through the fiscal year ending March 2019! (Plus, Kirby Star Allies version 4.0.0!)

To be clear: The data in the financial disclosure is current up to September 30, 2018... but it was released to the public on the last day of October 2018. These things take time to process! (And this article is being published a month later. Hm, we really need to review this KoopaTV new schedule thing.)

Nintendo has revealed their six months financial results for the fiscal year ending March 2019. Here is their financial results presentation.

Take a look at the newly updated sales chart, which has an omission on Nintendo's part that I'm particularly proud of:

Friday, November 23, 2018

Witch Princess and the Potion

By WITCH PRINCESS - I had work to do, so you're welcome!

Well, today marks my first day of publishing short stories each week on Friday. As I said before, I should have enough time in between to come up with new ideas, because I'm that creative.

Without further ado, I present to you Witch Princess and the Potion, which stars only me. Don't worry, fellow staffers! Next week will be your time to shine! I mean, is Ludwig's story from Rio de Janeiro the only one on here so far?

...Enough of the questions! Let's begin!

Thursday, November 22, 2018

All Finals Division Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The rest of the tournament. In one article.

Starting on the night of Monday the 26th of November, the GameFAQs Character Battle X contest — a massive Internet popularity contest for the best character in videogames — will be entering its second and final phase: The Finals Division.

(Vote here when it starts, as well as all the days after!)

(Catch up on all prior and current coverage of the Character Battle X on KoopaTV with our index, including the original 128-character bracket!) 

Quite frankly, the schedule from here on out is a bit of a confusing jumbled mess. The main bracket had 128 characters, and in the Divisional Finals, it went from 16 to 8. Those 8 winners of the main bracket are now facing 8 historically very strong characters (Character Battle X means there have been 9 previous character battles, so we know who is very popular already) — Link, Mega Man, Cloud Strife, Crono, Solid Snake, Sonic the Hedgehog, Samus Aran, and that awful plumber Mario.

Because there is now a Loser Bracket (double-elimination), the bracket will be a lot longer than what it would otherwise be. Some days will have two matches. Some days will have one. Because it would be a nuisance to have my weekly Thursday article keep covering this contest (I have other things I want to write about before the year ends, you know), I'm just going to put everything into this article. You can give me THANKS for that.

Therefore, anticipate this article to be continually updated between now and December 14. I've already created headings for the different sections of the Final Division that matches the GameFAQs schedule. (All matches start one calendar day before what GameFAQs says, unless you don't live in the Western hemisphere.)

Friday, November 16, 2018

KoopaTV Presents: Witch Princess's Short Stories!

By WITCH PRINCESS - Surprised? Stories brought to you by me!

How in the world am I supposed to adjust to this new schedule? I guess it's for the best. It is I, The Witch Princess! I've decided to give you all more content! One article is unacceptable.

I must say that Vortexica's KoopaTV Adventures was very weird, but charming. I thought I'd show off my writing talents by creating a sort of...successor to that. Believe me, we miss him and his work. We wish he'd come back. However, if he suddenly does, I guess we'll have to figure something out with both of our series.

...Anyway, I was planning on posting a story today, but I hate rushed content with no quality. Sorry, that's just not me. Since these are short stories, a week is all I need to work on them. (Gotta balance my time—I have a job casting spells!)

All of the staff will be in the stories, of course! Enjoy!

Witch Princess Mii Harvest Moon
You'd better read my stories!~♪

Look forward to the short stories starting next Friday! Oh yeah, maybe Witch made this article too anticlimactic...sorry!

Here's the first short story... Witch Princess and the Potion. Look in the related article section (where you're looking now) of that article to find the second one when it's out!

Thursday, November 15, 2018

The Best Chip Dip From A Guy With Teeth Not Made For Crunching Chips: Splatoon 2 Splatfest

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's obviously salsa.

Apparently, we need more than one Splatfest about condiments. You may remember the first official Splatoon 2 Splatfest was about Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup. I sided with Ketchup. Ketchup lost.

This time, the Splatfest for this weekend (November 17; I highly recommend participating in it instead of playing, or buying, a Pokémon: Let's Go game) is about Salsa vs. Guacamole, in a battle about which chip dip is superior.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Salsa Guacamole news Pearl Marina
“What's your favorite chip dip? Salsa or guacamole?”
Strangely, Pearl is siding with Salsa and Marina is siding with Guacamole. Yet in Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup, Pearl sided with Mayonnaise and Marina sided with Ketchup.

Reminder that Salsa is made from tomatoes. Guacamole is made from avocados. Mayonnaise is made from eggs. And ketchup is also made from tomatoes.

You'd think you'd keep siding with tomatoes for the consistency, but I suppose in terms of consistency, ketchup and salsa are quite... different. Unlike Pearl and Marina, however, I'm sticking with tomato-based condiments and I'm on Team Salsa. Quite frankly, I don't even remember what guacamole tastes like. But I know salsa very well. Because it's the only way I can effectively get something from chips. Observe:

Monday, November 12, 2018

Kamek is Saving the People of New York in Spider-Man PS4!

By KAMEK - We're Live!

As promised. Tonight Kamek is proud to present to you a small adventure into Spider-Man (for PS4).

I've been making personal progress with the game when it comes to story mode. I'll be doing my best to avoid plot and stick to what the game has to offer in terms of the city.

Watch the video on demand here:

Watch Kamek Saves New York from kamekkoopatv on

(RIP Stan Lee. And Spider-Man. Multiple times.)

Kamek displaying a rare side of him we don't see often:

Kamek once wrote an article about why Amtrak shouldn't exist and why trains are bad. Well, here's his point being proven:

Kamek will do his best to continue to produce gaming content while compositional pieces such as articles are being worked on!

Friday, November 9, 2018

Round 3 & 4 Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Once this is done, there will be the Finals Division.

As of publishing, Round 2, Division 7 is still happening in the GameFAQs Character Battle X, which is the GameFAQs semi-frequent popularity contest about who the best videogame character is. (And if you want to know all about Round 2, click here.)

Vote here:

The main bracket began with 128 characters, but by the time Round 3 starts, it'll be down to 32 characters. Then for Round 4, it'll be 16 characters — Round 4 is alternatively known as the Divisional Finals.

After that, it's the final stretch of the contest: The Finals Division, where eight of the historically strongest characters battle the eight divisional winners. But that'll be covered in a later article.

Due to the scheduling of the contest (Round 3 has four battles in one day, and Round 4 has two battles per day), I'm grouping Round 3 and Round 4 in one article. That means you should check back to this article once the Divisional Finals happen to read my opinions about who should advance, and who I'm voting for. That's free DLC!

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Welcome Piranha Plant and Koopa Paratroopa to the Spotlight!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You're both looking fantastic in your respective roles.

I wish to continue the themes that I started mere weeks ago about Non-Playable Characters (NPCs). I think that the NPC meme is no longer something that is dominating any narrative or conversation, so KoopaTV's article going after this NPC bashing must have been rhetorically effective. Furthermore, it was proven correct a week ago in two different ways, which I'll write about in this article.

Piranha Plant was announced to be an additional playable character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and Koopa Paratroopa (henceforth mostly referred to as Paratroopa) became a playable character in Mario Tennis Aces. Here are my generous, love-filled thoughts on both of them:

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

With Nintendo Deciding Smash Ultimate DLC Characters, Will Fortnite Get In?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Reminder of Nintendo's priorities.

Apparently in the past, character selection in the Super Smash Bros. franchise was just up to the series director, Masahiro Sakurai.

I'll get to my thoughts on a certain new character that appeared in the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct at the beginning of the month in a later article (I'm thinking tomorrow), but right now I want to address the five unannounced DLC characters that the Fighters Pass will comprise of:

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Fighters Pass those who are confident in its value should purchase it
Only those who are confident in its value should purchase the Fighters Pass.
If Nintendo is calling all the shots for the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate DLC, what do you think Nintendo's decision criteria is? And by Nintendo, think the executive-level team. Well, Nintendo just put out a commercial two weeks ago that should illuminate their thinking:

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Vote Republican For Mid-Terms 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (Pokémon) Let's Go to the polls.

The last time I wrote a KoopaTV article about asking people to vote in the mid-term elections (back in 2014, the last time mid-term elections existed), there were very good results. The Senate flipped from Democrat to Republican control. Republicans won more seats in the House of Representatives. Republicans even did better in gubernatorial elections.

I don't consider myself to be a partisan hack, but I am an ideological one. Still, in yesterday's article, I was prepared to endorse an Independent over a Republican in a particular Senate race, but I couldn't. The Independent didn't respond to this media outlet's inquiry attempt, and they don't seem to be running an actual campaign. Yeah, like I'm going to endorse that. The Republican (and the Democrat) didn't respond either, but no one really expects them to since they don't need media exposure like the Independent does. Meanwhile, KoopaTV's endorsement could've doubled that particular Independent's total vote count!

Well, the Democrat's campaign actually said they would respond, and then lied and never did.

Let's be specific: don't vote for Elizabeth Warren in Massachusetts.

Anyway, at least in federal-facing races, Democrats exist to raise your taxes and obstruct President Donald John Trump. Not to actually get anything done. In state-facing races, the Democrat candidate most likely wants to raise taxes, promote illegal immigration, and have their state Attorney General sue President Donald John Trump's administration over everything and anything. They're all coordinating.

Quite frankly, there is a small list of things that President Donald John Trump's administration should be sued over, so I'm not advocating for one-party rule over every state house in the United States (not that a KoopaTV article can get, say, a Republican to win the Senate election in California — you literally can't vote for a Republican). But every Democrat (except Joe Manchin sometimes?) who is acting like they're actually going to work to accomplish an outcome beneficial for you is campaigning in bad faith.

I've been talking a lot about voting lately. Voting in Splatfests. Voting in the GameFAQs Character Battle X. The mid-terms are more important than those (unless you don't live in the United States or live in Inkopolis, then yes, voting on a race war is pretty important).

Go vote! 

Ludwig didn't actually write anything in this article about what makes the Republicans good and worthy of your vote. Part of that is because it's hard to generalise the hundreds or thousands of political battles that will be decided today (despite Ludwig generalising about Democrats), and part of that is because many Republicans also suck, but just a little less than Democrats.

Monday, November 5, 2018

No Political Party's Candidate Wants To Be On Record About Daylight Savings Time

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Massachusetts Senate candidates are dodging the number one issue.

If you reside in the United States of America (and you're in one of the vast majority of the states), I ask you: did you have fun adjusting your clocks because of Daylight Savings Time ending? What about again in March when it started? It's already coming back soon.

Sure, you “gained” an hour of sleep (or late-night game playing), but it was all unnecessary had the government not intruded on the sacred (and confusing) idea of time to begin with back in March. KoopaTV has been trying to get a citizen uprising to abolish Daylight Savings Time around the North America and Europe for several years now, and it comes down to each country's legislatures.

This election cycle, I decided to try to get an interview with the one Senate candidate in the United States most likely to agree to an interview with KoopaTV: Mr. Allen R. Waters, Independent (write-in) candidate from Massachusetts. Maybe you can see why I thought he'd agree to an interview when you read what I sent.

On September 7, 2018, I sent this e-mail to his campaign:

Dear Mr. Waters,
We're KoopaTV, one of the most innovative videogame websites out there. We would like to have a far-ranging e-mail interview with you, spanning topics like the FAIRtax, party politics, freedom of speech and gaming, as well as some miscellaneous, personal questions about your background and interests.

While we are a videogame commentary site, we have significant presence in global politics, especially the United States. (And, of course, we have readers in Massachusetts.) We've interviewed fellow FAIRtax supporter Herman Cain, have endorsed the FAIRtax ourselves (in collaboration with Americans for Fair Taxation), and, to be fair & balanced, have hosted a guest article written by none other than Bernie Sanders.

Please consider the request. We'd publish the entire interview on KoopaTV, and of course, promote it (and by extension, you).

Thank you,
He responded with...

Friday, November 2, 2018

Round 2 Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It continues.

The biggest and most important of its kind, GameFAQs semi-rarely runs a big contest about best characters or best games. For 2018, it's Character Battle X, the tenth character contest. We've been keeping track of it in this index, but Round 1 is about to end as of publishing.

Many of my Round 1 picks have actually advanced to Round 2, which makes the decisions slightly more difficult than the fodder-filled Round 1. But in many cases, it's still a pretty easy pick. You can try to convince me one way or the other for my Round 2 picks below.

There are 32 matches in Round 2, and GameFAQs goes through 4 matches a day in Round 2. That means this article will be relatively short-lived, but no less impactful.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

KoopaTV's Super Smash Bros. Ultimate November Direct Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The most important Direct in history?

Today, Nintendo and Super Smash Bros. series director Masahiro Sakurai are out to dispel with some fictions about Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Thus, we have a Direct that has perhaps more riding on it than any other in history. But it was at an awkward... 10 AM Eastern time, which results in some hardships for everyone. But with all the FAKE NEWS out there, and the future of the Nintendo Switch in the balance, this is not a Direct that could be missed. And so the KoopaTV staff reacted to it.

Pay attention to the many sub-plots involved in this log. All of our staff members, plus Discord groupie Ryu (otherwise known as MarioSun90, not to be confused with Ryu the Street Fighter) are here, since we all recognise the importance of this Direct. I'm at work trying to watch the Direct and react to it without getting caught. Rawk fully expects Banjo-Kazooie. Kamek got a flat tire. Wendy doesn't even have a Nintendo Switch. Witch Princess... wants to make a bunch of Ace Attorney references, which I suppose makes her the hero of the log!

Watch the Direct with us, embedded below, and read along our comments!

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

KoopaTV's October 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The biggest site announcement in years. That, and more!

You all want to know winners and rewards and whatever, but I have far more important KoopaTV news to share. So without further self-promotion and filler, here's this header to chomp on:

KoopaTV Is Changing Our Publishing Format and Focus

We have been listening. Not just to you (though that's important), but to one another, and to the Internet as a whole. Demographics are changing. Trends are changing. Our own lives are changing. Sometimes too fast. KoopaTV has strayed quite a bit from its original intention, and I think it's finally time to change course again to get closer to both that intention, and to a product that people might expect from a gaming commentary story like KoopaTV.

Effective Monday November 12, KoopaTV will be changing our publishing schedule. Now it will be appointment reading:

  • Monday — Kamek
  • Tuesday — RawkHawk2010
  • Wednesday — Wendy O. Koopa
  • Thursday — Ludwig Von Koopa (me!)
  • Friday — Witch Princess

We are also changing our focus in the content formats of our articles. You may have noticed lately that KoopaTV has been promoting streaming gameplay content more. Those aren't random acts on our part. We recognise the variety of ways that Internet people are consuming content — younger generations are afraid of reading words, for example — so our publishing philosophy is now this: if a staffer enjoys making content a certain way, go for it. Don't want to write a blog article but you'd rather stream instead? Go ahead. ...Just write something on KoopaTV to let people know to watch the stream, and put the videos on demand here so people who miss it can still enjoy it.

KoopaTV exists to spread truth & levity about the things we care about. We have a narrative, a story we want to tell, that permeates all site activities. That's not tied to just one particular format.

To make it clear what is what, we'll be introducing a new category to the site — Game Streams, and we'll be retroactively updating previous articles with this new category.

Here's another thing that's changing: If a staffer misses their day and nothing is published on KoopaTV that day... then oh well! It'll just be empty then. Of course, we'd like to have content every weekday, but you know, sometimes things happen. At least you'll know which staffer to track down and yell at.

Some weeks, the schedule might be broken if there is a particularly time-sensitive event, such as something we need a Reaction Log for.

It's a big change, but we want to showcase our other staffers’ diverse talents more. Please understand. ...And if you have any questions, ask away in the comments section. Now, then, onto the next header (which also includes more information about the change!):

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Rawk's Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations Experience

By RAWKHAWK2010 - There may be fake news, but my experience was great and real.

Today, the Funimation Simuldub of Season 2 of the Ace Attorney anime begins. Since it covers Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations, now is the best time to showcase my Miiverse archive of that game!

Now is also the best time for you to vote for Miles Edgeworth over Luigi in Round 1 of the GameFAQs Character Battle X contest. He won't win, but you can make him look better than not!

(Spoilers for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations follow. Obviously.)

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations Doug Swallow bad news
I totally didn't plan (see date of the Miiverse post) that my first image would talk about Fake News,
which is in the beginning of the intro of the Season 2 anime.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Herman Cain Sold Out To Western Journal

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - CainTV and KoopaTV started off at the same place. The destinations, though...

Once upon a time, in early 2012, businessman, Pokémon master, and failed Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain created a website called CainTV. CainTV featured weird family-friendly, Christian-friendly, and Republican-friendly videos that took too much production value to maintain, so CainTV was then relaunched in August 2012 as CainTV 2.0, a blog-based site with a rotating cast of columnists, the core of which are still around today. It fascinated all of us.

Once upon a time, in May of 2013, KoopaTV was born. Its introduction post format was pretty much copied from the CainTV 2.0 introduction post. The point of our site was to take CainTV and apply it to videogames, for fun. We tried to do that pretty closely. Eventually, Herman Cain took and redirected to that. I bought a year ago (much later than CainTV became but we keep that redirecting to I've done absolutely nothing with the domain and now they're asking me if I want to renew it. That's a discussion for the comments section.

Skip to September 2018. now redirects to, and displays the notice,
“Same, new home. We've partnered with The Western Journal to move to Same content, same attitude, same Herman Cain. ”
Western Journal is this right-wing clickbait site that Herman has been working with since September 2015, when he had his million-strong Facebook page suddenly start sharing Western Journal and Conservative Tribune articles, with headlines like, “Cop Orders Coffee From Dunkin' Donuts. After Leaving He Notices What's Written On The Cup...” He also recently made a fake Political Action Committee, America Fighting Back PAC, which is just a front for Western Journal. Throughout all of this, CainTV articles continue to be nice.

Here's what Herman Cain's site's articles now are like:

Friday, October 26, 2018

How Does The Clout-Based Splatfest System Change Anything?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Or, why was the Splatfest scoring system changed at all?

We have now had two Splatfests in a post-Splatoon 2 version 4.0.0 world, where there was a new Splatfest scoring system introduced. There was the Retro vs. Modern Splatfest, and last weekend was the Trick vs. Treat Splatfest.

There are two ways to play in the new system: Splatfest Battle Normal (you can play with yourself or up to three friends, with randoms filling the rest of the slots) and Splatfest Battle Pro (you play by yourself with three randoms). On top of the personal ranking system to go from Fanboy/Fangirl to King/Queen, and on top of “Splatfest Power” that exists for a bragging-rights competition that is only accessible via Splatfest Battle Pro, there is a Clout system. Clout is what is used to determine actual wins for the greater Splatfest teams, which are a best-of-three consisting of Popularity, Normal Clout, and Pro Clout.

In Splatfest Battle Pro, the amount of Clout you get depends on if you beat the opposing team or not, and you get more if the team has a higher team Splatfest Power than yours. You get zero Clout for losing. 

As for Splatfest Battle Normal, you get a Clout bonus based on if you win or not (1,000 Clout), plus the amount of turf you inked, plus a synergy bonus multiplier if you're cohesively fashionable with the other members of your team. (So people playing with their friends that coordinate this ahead of time have a Clout advantage.) That means Splatfest Battle Normal players get Clout even if they lose. 

If you're in a ditto match (same Splatfest team choice among the two teams Turf Warring) then there is no Clout gain by anyone for either Pro or Normal.

As you might suspect, the average number of Clout for Splatfest Battle Normal will be higher than Splatfest Battle Pro (higher ceiling and higher floor), so with that in mind, here are the final results for the Trick vs. Treat Splatfest, courtesy of Splatnet 2.0 (mobile-exclusive information as opposed to in-game):

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Meltan Evolves Into Melmetal and Takes A Selfie

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Melmetal takes a selfie while playing Pokémon GO.

A lot has been discovered about the Mythical Pokémon Meltan since my article about it one month ago. It turns out that real Meltan do exist in the present era, and they aren't just trickster Ditto.

We have also now learned that Meltan can evolve into the behemoth Melmetal. While you could compare Meltan to a Ditto, Melmetal is best compared to a metallic Regigigas, which turns out to be different than a Registeel. Replace Braille with hex nuts. Melmetal isn't that interesting — aside from being big and creating metal, it has a special move called Double Iron Bash, which is just the Klink evolutionary family's Gear Grind (physical Steel attack that hits twice), but with a chance to flinch.

The way one gets to possess Melmetal is more interesting than the Pokémon itself, which is disappointing, counterproductive, and convoluted.

One can get a Meltan by having the Mystery Box item in Pokémon GO, which you can get by sending a Pokémon from Pokémon GO to Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! or Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee! Once you you open the Mystery Box, Meltan will appear on the field map. Then you can catch it, and the Mystery Box closes. You can re-open it after waiting some period of time and sending another Pokémon to a Let's Go game, and then you can presumably get more Meltan.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Watch Wendy Stream NieR Automata (Take 2B)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (Why am I the one writing this?)

Continuing yesterday's timely Alucard advertisement, Wendy O. Koopa is currently streaming NieR Automata to support 2B in the GameFAQs Character Contest X. Not that she needs the help against whatever a Cayde-6 is:

2B vs. Cayde-6 GameFAQs Character Battle X round 1 freeze five minutes
These are the results 5 minutes in. They could be wildly different later!
The stream has ended, and here is the video on demand!

Watch I forgot how to play Nier so I'm playing it again. :D from Capt_Murasa on

If you want to see 2B's infamous booty, you better watch the stream. (It's in there.) Personally, I've never watched gameplay of NieR Automata before and I already voted for 2B. So this is an educational experience! Hoping I don't regret my vote.

Post-stream, I can confirm I made the right decision.

It's Take 2B because Wendy had trouble getting the stream to actually work. Oh well.

Wendy's streams are great. Here's her first stream advertised on KoopaTV, with A Hat in Time.
Rawk foreshadowed Wendy streaming NieR Automata in this article about why he enjoys KoopaTV streams over other ones.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

It's Called Lost Painting Because The Music Is Missing

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Masahiro Sakurai, Alucard, and THE PLAN.

As of 8 PM Eastern today, the second half of Division 3 of Round 1 of the GameFAQs Character Battle X contest has started. As of 9 PM Eastern today, the official Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Super Smash Blog has updated with the music update of the week.

The blog:
“You can now listen to "Lost Painting" from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Doesn't it resurrect memories of obtaining the Crissaegrim in the game? This version is an arrangement by Tetsuya Shibata from Unique Note. Give it a listen using headphones, too!” 

However, as of writing this, there is no new content on the Music Page.

Super Smash Blog music Ultimate Castlevania Symphony of the Night Lost Painting
This article was published about twenty minutes after the timestamp in the picture,
if you're wondering how long it took me to write this. Still no music there, despite the “You can now” writing.

Which character is currently battling in a very contested battle for his contest tournament life in the second half of Division 3 during Round 1? Alucard, the star of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. The very same game that the Lost Painting music is from. The very same Lost Painting music that is... lost, and unavailable for listening right now.

All we have is the most-viewed version of the original Lost Painting song from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on YouTube. When was this one uploaded? ...Exactly 11 years ago, on October 23, 2007.

Coincidence? I don't believe so. Masahiro Sakurai would prefer for Princess Peach to beat Alucard in the match (Princess Peach is a playable character, while Alucard is a mere Assist Trophy), so he's withholding the music right now to not give Alucard a boost. However, the fans want Alucard and they want Lost Painting. That's why Alucard is blowing past prediction estimates and is destroying Princess Peach, and there is nothing that Masahiro Sakurai can do about it.

GameFAQs Character Battle X Alucard Princess Peach voting results
I voted for Alucard. Shouldn't you?
(Also, vote for Godot.)

Therefore, I make a plea to Masahiro Sakurai: Please make the Lost Painting music available. It's been nearly an hour as of writing, and Princess Peach isn't going to catch up. Besides, it's a really neat song in the original game, and I want to hear what the musicians who volunteered to put a lot of Castlevania music into the game have done with it!

Update after 11 PM: Lost Painting is finally available. Took a while.

Ludwig was going to write about something else today, but this was way too good to pass up as an article. KoopaTV will take full responsibility for when Lost Painting is made available after this article publishes.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Cheating Ōkami's Blockhead Grande With Nintendo Switch Video Capture

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Pity difficulty plus video capture equals possible to win!

I am thoroughly enjoying my time playing Ōkami HD on my Nintendo Switch. You know, enough to spell Ōkami correctly, as opposed to the incorrect “Okami” that people probably search for. (So if I didn't spell it wrong, then no one would be able to find this article.)

I am getting to the end of the game (at least, I think it's the end) with the Kamui area. (Not to be confused with anything from Fire Emblem.) There is a reoccurring clan of overconfident talking barrier wall characters named Blockhead. They appear in dungeons to prevent Amaterasu (the protagonist) from passing from either side. Amaterasu needs to tackle Blockhead's front side. Once that happens, flashes will appear — in a randomly-generated order — on Blockhead's body indicating where Amaterasu needs to draw dots using the Celestial Brush. Blockhead doesn't even know he has this weakness, and then it's too late and the wall crumbles.

The very last Blockhead is Blockhead Grande. Grande is an optional foe — he is literally in a secret hole in the Kamui ground that Amaterasu needs to dig up with a secret hole-digging skill. He guards some rare treasure, but unlike the Blockhead before him with three or four dots, Blockhead Grande has eight. That's more than I can comprehend. To counteract this a little bit, Ōkami HD has pity difficulty for non-combat puzzle sequences like this. (For all I know, it has the same for combat, but I've never gotten anywhere close to a game over.) The game makes timed sequences slower, for example.

But it's still really hard, or impossible. So using the Nintendo Switch's unique Video Capture and Screenshot abilities, here's my step-by-step guide for what I did:

Friday, October 19, 2018

Round 1 Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It begins.

Round 1 of the GameFAQs Character Battle X has begun! Read all about the contest at this page, which will also serve as an index for all coverage of the contest from KoopaTV.

The contest actually started a day earlier than I thought it did (8 PM Eastern on Thursday as opposed to Friday) so my bad. The first four matches in Division 1 are already done as of publishing (the second four are going on now!). For your information, Round 1 has four matches per day, so we'll see Round 2 in about two weeks from now.

Vote here at the top of the page:

I will be telling you exactly who I'm voting for and why for every match in the contest, and Round 1 has the most matches. Take a look at which characters I like... and which I really do not:

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Elevators are Funny, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Stream

By RAWKHAWK2010 - A happy article?!

Over the past year I guess you could say Rawk's article energy has been somewhat downcast. It's true! Almost everything I've written in 2018 has been about something bad. One particular dark moment was symbolized by the Sea of Thieves article in which I told Sea of Thieves "see ya" and formally renounced my (modern) Rare Ltd. fan status. I don't even want to talk about it really, but I must, for it contains significant past experience with the topic matter at hand: streams. See, Rare was banking on annoying cult-of-personality streamers to market the game. That was their goal. The streamers would do what Rare hadn't managed to do in ten or so years and make a Rare game seem exciting to the public at large. It turned out that hinging the game's success on easily-excitable streamers didn't work since even they got bored, but even if it had worked, it wouldn't work for me because I don't get the same camaraderie buzz as everyone else does from this culture. Watching someone do a Fake News screech as they get eaten by a shark, and then comment-screeching alongside a thousand other comment-screechers in's all just too fraudulent. It's counterfeit energy! And too impersonal to boot.

Let's rewind a bit. Kamek's long-ago streaming of Yooka-Laylee -- in which he fortunately had an audience of 2 or 3 at most -- was when I decided his soft-spoken radio voice was made for commentary. Seriously, his voice could reawaken the Beanstar. Anyway, the experience was good (if it wasn't, then his "beautiful chair" for E3 2017 wouldn't have been his streaming center), but its nature as something relatively fleeting meant it didn't play hugely into my view on "streams" or what they might ever mean to KoopaTV. There's also simply the fact that this is Yooka-Laylee we're talking about, developed by a company I was in an abusive relationship with for years where my backing was repaid with all kinds of stupid decisions. (Hence why I was insulting them in the article I just linked.)

Now skip all the way to last week and KoopaTV is treated to a stream of Yooka-Laylee's similarly-Kickstarted rival, A Hat in Time (specifically the "Seal the Deal" DLC for it that came out a month ago), this time by Wendy. (That's right, Wendy! The real-life non-imaginary Wendy that Ludwig didn't fabricate to fill a staff position!) A game I knew little about but had always kinda wanted, I found watching A Hat in Time to be a breath of fresh air on its own merits. More importantly though, Wendy was a magnet for trouble in it, and Wendy made things happen (or rather, things happened to Wendy) that I was adamant about insisting didn't get lost.

Here's Wendy falling through an elevator.

Watch Welp, I fell through the elevator. :( from Capt_Murasa on

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Individualising Our Koopa NPCs For Great Victory

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I know all about NPCs. Believe me. You'll want to hear me out.

I look around social media, and see that dissing Non-Playable Characters (NPCs) has become a fashionable thing to do. Before you do that again, maybe you should listen to my perspective. I'm Ludwig Von Koopa, a Prince of Koopa Kingdom. I rule over thousands and thousands of Koopas — some civilians, many Troopas. You might consider them to be “just” NPCs. I consider them to be patriots.

These social media mavens are making claims that NPCs do not have an inner monologue and can not think. They claim NPCs just say the same lines of dialogue over and over and can not handle anything different.

Well, those characterisations may describe a lot of NPCs out there, like Bethesda NPCs in Skyrim who, across the world, talk about the same story about how their knee was crippled by an arrow. But I am trying to make a lot of progress within Koopa Kingdom. We have the best nationals, and I see every NPC as an opportunity for greatness.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Three Reasons Why Junichi Masuda Is Pokémon's Miyamoto

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And that headline is supposed to be a bad thing, by the way.

Absolutely nothing good is happening in the realm of Pokémon: Let's Go. The game (in two versions: Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee!) was repulsive at first impression, and it's somehow getting worse as we learn more and more about it. I get the same puking kind of feeling that I did whenever I begrudgingly wrote about Pokémon GO for this site. I don't want to revisit that.

Now that Pokémon: Let's Go is releasing in exactly one month, GAME FREAK honcho and series director Junichi Masuda is having a lot of interviews where he can't contain his own excitement. This is one with Eurogamer, and a shorter one with The Verge. I'll be referring to these interviews throughout this article.

My basic thesis is that Masuda is turning into the Pokémon version of Shigeru Miyamoto for Nintendo — a well-respected guy within the company who has been around since basically the start and has a lot of power and creative control... and is using that power for the detriment of the series he is working on because his vision is so out-of-touch.

Here's three examples from those interviews. They are all intertwined if you think about it, so the headline saying there are three reasons is sort of disingenuous, but I didn't say they are completely distinct with no overlap. Anyway, I make good points, so read on: