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Monday, July 20, 2015

New GRAPHIC DESIGNER: The Princess Wendy!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My own very talented sister joins our staff.

You may have been wondering what happened to Ludwig Painting since I advertised it three months ago. The truth is, is that there is so much business flowing in I cannot do it myself. So I asked my dear sister, Princess Wendy O. Koopa, for help.

There's a reason our Final Smash in Super Smash Bros. For Wii U is the magical paintbrush: We all got aptitude for this. 

Well, she's been doing a phenomenal job, and I asked her to help me out with my other enterprise that obviously y'all are a lot more familiar with: KoopaTV! And... she said yes! See, the new KoopaTV.org is going places!

Her 65x65 avatar.

If we're looking for talent, then why not take the most nepotistic (or, "nepotastic", as I prefer) option and just hire my sister? She's guaranteed to be amazing and perfect, with all of the awesomeness you should expect from a Royal Koopa Family member.

Royal Koopa Kingdom Family Kamek Wendy O. Ludwig Von Super Smash Bros. For Wii U group photo
The Royal Koopa Family KoopaTV staff members, from left to right: Kamek, Wendy, and Ludwig.

Rawk objected because he didn't want the low-class non-Koopa misfits (he and the Transformer) to be outnumbered. I overruled him, obviously. Either way, expect Wendy to occasionally (because she's a very busy princess and basically is doing the majority of the work for Ludwig Painting) contribute great-quality visual assets to KoopaTV articles and other KoopaTV projects. Just another thing that makes us a step above all those other websites you might otherwise go to. (Or... just something that makes us tie with their higher standards. Either way.)

Oh, don't expect Wendy to ever write anything. She's the "Digital Graphics Producer", not another "Content Writer". Of course, if she ever wants to, then she can. (And believe me, if she ever does, prepare for a wrath never-seen-before on KoopaTV. We'll give a content warning ahead of time!) You may also find her in Live Reaction logs in the future!


The "Digital Graphics Producer" position isn't totally strikethroughed in the Jobs page, so that probably means KoopaTV is willing to accept more artistic types. Why not you? Unless you're talent-less. Then stay away. Either way, welcome Wendy O. Koopa to KoopaTV!


Ludwig is worried about the lack of output from Wendy.

28 comments :

  1. *throws confetti* Yay!
    Soon, Princess Kumie will join~

    ..When she stops being a shy fuck. :]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is Kumie actually a princess or do you just want to parallel Wendy?

      Delete
    2. Yes, Kumie is a princess.
      Do I need to get the whip?

      Delete
    3. ...Wouldn't a crown be more fitting for proof?

      Delete
    4. Kumatora doesn't have a crown.
      Hmph. *slaps*

      Delete
    5. LUDDY LOVES ME.
      AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME.

      Delete
    6. ...(You're not getting a Truth point for this comment, but for the other one you made today.)

      Delete
    7. *cries* Stop being so tough on me~!
      ;~;

      Delete
    8. ;~;
      Ludwig's being a meanie-pants!

      Delete
    9. So I guess you won't apply for staff?

      Delete
    10. I would!
      If you would fuckin' get back to me on that.

      Delete
    11. Uh, I've responded to everything you've given me.

      Delete
    12. Good! I'll be your devoted mistress and artist, thank ya! :3

      Delete
    13. wait wot

      You never applied to be such!

      Delete
    14. I'm freelance!


      ..That's a nice way of saying "I am gonna be your mistress and artist whether you like it or not.

      Delete
    15. ...

      You don't exactly control what gets published here.

      Delete
    16. With these kinky sex tools and my fabulous art skills, I will continue to volunteer and serve under my royal prince! *salutes*

      Delete
    17. ...Uh...okay.

      By the way, staff members can't compete in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, so your results will be invalidated if you join as a staff during the round.

      You're better off submitting Guest Art and getting points for it.

      Delete
    18. *heart attack* Hey! An article about Nintendo and Facebook! Lemme read that..

      Delete

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