Koopa Kingdom to boycott Beijing 2022 Olympic Games (with no videogame version)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We haven't heard anything about this and it starts in four months.

Contrary to a Wikipedia vandal that's been allowed to have their erroneous edits on Wikipedia for the whole month of September (until I reverted it), there is no “Olympic Winter Games Beijing 2022 - The Official Video Game.” SEGA has announced no such title. The official Olympic Video Games website still has the Tokyo 2020 videogames. There's no evidence there will be any videogame support for the Beijing 2022 Olympic Games that begins on February 4, 2022.

...That's super soon. I mean, if there would be a videogame, it would've been announced by now. Surely at the Tokyo Game Show, even. But no such announcement took place.

But even if, say, Koopa Kingdom and the Mushroom Kingdom and... Mobius, I guess, were invited to the Olympic Games, I can say that at least Koopa Kingdom wouldn't come. (Which means no “Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Beijing 2022” or “Mario & Sonic at the Beijing 2022 Olympic Games”...) Number one, we just had them in Japan a couple of months ago and we're exhausted. Also, we didn't win a single medal.

Behold, one of the laziest excuses for an image on a KoopaTV article in my memory.

FAKE NEWS Bloomberg Writes FAKE NEWS about a Nintendo Switch 4K that doesn't exist

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At least the videogame company is quick to deny the FAKE NEWS.

Deep breath... deep breath... That's what Wii Fit Trainer is trying to teach me right now as I'm attempting to start writing this article... But it's just so incredibly infuriating.

...gaagghhh

Quick recap to explain why I'm livid: For every year since 2018, Bloomberg News has been reporting that Nintendo has been working on and will release a “Nintendo Switch Pro” system. Eventually in early 2021, FAKE NEWS Bloomberg said this 4K-enabled Nintendo Switch with an OLED screen would be shown at or before E3 2021... which didn't happen. A lot of other media outlets repeated and expanded on Bloomberg's FAKE NEWS (that article provides a massive, comprehensive list), and the whole thing was a massive indictment on how untrustworthy and unreliable the media is. Eventually, Nintendo announced the Nintendo Switch (OLED model), which was definitely not the console that the FAKE NEWS outlets like Bloomberg were hyping up. As retaliation for being wrong on stories they made up, Bloomberg decided to publish some anti-Nintendo hit pieces. Days later, Nintendo's investor relations published a statement stating FAKE NEWS Bloomberg's hit piece was incorrect.

In a just world, FAKE NEWS Bloomberg—and their Japanese tech “journalist” Takashi Mochizuki—would shut up and bow out quietly. Perhaps even do the universe a favour and quit the profession. Unfortunately, FAKE NEWS Bloomberg/Mochizuki is back at it with an article titled “Developers Are Making Games for a Nintendo 4K Console That Doesn’t Exist”. While the headline is correct that a Nintendo 4K console does not exist, Takashi Mochizuki still cited anonymous sources saying that Nintendo could release a 4K Nintendo Switch as early as late 2022. In other words, they're still at it, citing how 11 developers (the only named one being social gaming developer Zynga, though no statement from a named person was obtained and Zynga has separately denied that they have 4K development kits) have received 4K-enabled Nintendo Switch software development kits.

Rather than waiting a few days, months, or not saying anything, Nintendo immediately (in around four hours) put out this statement:

Your Comprehensive Guide to the Super Smash Bros. NintendoVS US Fall Open 2021

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm literally the foremost expert on these things, so I'll answer questions you didn't even know you had.

I am pleased to once again write about Nintendo of America and Battlefy collaborating to bring you a duo of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate tournaments, collectively known as the NintendoVS US Fall Open 2021. They haven't had one of these since October 2020, and these haven't previously been known as an annual series of tournaments. In their heyday, they happened a lot more often. Still, for whatever the reasons there's been a gap, it's here now, so I'm going to write about it as the official* expert on how these Nintendo-sponsored tournaments work.

What is the NintendoVS US Fall Open 2021?

According to the official registration page, “The NintendoVS US Fall Open 2021 tournament features the popular best-of-3 sets and no items during the ladder round. Players in eight regions will have two opportunities to compete over two weekends: October 15 - 16, 2021 and October 29 - 30, 2021. The Four Grand Prize winners from each tournament weekend will be eligible to receive an epic prize package!” I should also note it's free to enter.

I... I'm not into this colour scheme. Sorry, Nintendo.
The black/purple one from October 2020 was really cool, though.

There is a lot to unpack with that statement, so that's what I'll do in the rest of this article. I'll be answering a lot of questions in detail (the answers to which can also be found in the official rules document), and feel free to ask your own in the comments section.

Rush in Monster Hunter Rise... and both are in the Nintendo eShop Blockbuster Sale

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Lots of games are on sale right now. (And lots of other games...aren't.)

There is a lot of excitement coming for Monster Hunter Rise. CAPCOM's big project got first-dibs at last week's Nintendo Direct with news of an expansion: Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak. All things Monster Hunter, including Sunbreak, will be the topic of CAPCOM's Tokyo Game Show 2021 presence. They'll also reveal the (final) Capcom Collab #5 there... which segues into part of what this article is about.

In August, Capcom Collab #3 was revealed to be with Street Fighter, where your hunter would get layered armor to look like Akuma. By hunting down a Rajang in the SF: Ultimate Promotion Exam quest and equipping the sword & shield weaponry, you no longer will be a generic anime swordsman but an intense shoto. Your weapons will hide, apparently, and you'll be punching and kicking and doing Street Fighter things that I'm not super familiar with.

Which is why I'm focusing on September and Capcom Collab #4, which is with Mega Man (specifically Mega Man 11) and Rush the robot dog. Pass The Blue Bomber's Best Bud quest (by hunting down a Zinogre to Fuse Man's theme) and you will obtain layered armor for your Palamute mutt to make it look like Rush.

Masahiro Sakurai's Ludwig Hatred Continues: I'm not Bowser Jr., and he can grab his own ledge!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And neither is Wendy O. Koopa!

I have a well-documented series of articles about Super Smash Bros. series director Masahiro Sakurai's personal hatred of me, Ludwig Von Koopa. From me having the worst end of the stick in the Super Smash Bros. For Wii U reveal out of all the Koopalings, to me having the worst end of the stick in the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate reveal out of all the Koopalings... To Sakurai denying my debut decade and me being the only playable character completely ignored in Spirit Battles at launch. I am the worst-treated Koopaling in this franchise, and I'd say I am in the running for the worst-treated character of any species. Down there with Little Mac.

Last night, Masahiro Sakurai returned to his lows of unwarranted animus towards me with this horrible tweet:

I've archived Sakurai's tweet here, in case he ever does the right thing and deletes this insult.

Obviously, I, Ludwig Von Koopa, am not Bowser Jr. My sister (and nominally fellow KoopaTV staffer) Wendy O. Koopa, is also not Bowser Jr. If Masahiro Sakurai would like to discuss Bowser Jr.'s two forms of grabbing a ledge (one ledge grab with the Clown Car and one ledge grab without the Clown Car after ditching it from using Abandon Ship), he should post an image of... Bowser Jr.

Would it have been so hard to post this image instead?

Look! It's Bowser Jr. with two forms of grabbing...
....Featuring (the actual) Bowser Jr. displaying the two forms of grabbing!

Indeed, Bowser Jr. can grab the ledge without transforming into myself or transforming into my sister. He has grown up to the point where he can grab the ledge ALL BY HIMSELF.


Ludwig had lots of other things he WANTED to write about, especially after that Direct, but no, Masahiro Sakurai is making a fool out of himself and insulting Ludwig's personhood. There's only so many times Ludwig can take this unwarranted loathing from Sakurai before he starts a #SackSakurai hashtag.


While Bowser Jr. can grab a ledge by himself, he'd probably cry if his ledge got trumped.

KoopaTV's LIVE Reactions to the September 23 2021 Nintendo Direct

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Winter 2021 was an obvious con...

Welcome to KoopaTV's reaction log series, this time starring a much-anticipated (aren't they all?) general Nintendo Direct of September. This Direct will supposedly be roughly forty minutes long, with information on Nintendo Switch games releasing this winter. ...I'm fairly certain, before this starts, that there will be games releasing in 2022 featured in this presentation.

Joining me in providing live, unfiltered reaction to the Direct is Heavy Lobster. Kamek makes an appearance... but not as a live reactor.

[5:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.nintendo.com/nintendo-direct/09-23-2021/
[5:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, I got my glass of milk ready.
[5:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Though it won't last the whole forty minutes... unfortunately.
[5:57 PM] HeavyLobster: I'm here.
[5:59 PM] HeavyLobster: One minute.
[5:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...How about...now.
[5:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Huh, my computer clock is ahead of Discord's?
[5:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But they should be the same.
[6:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe I need to resyn-... RATING PENDING TO MATURE LET'S GO
[6:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No intro, just an ominous trailer.
[6:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With a dragon.
[6:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: CAPCOM Presents
[6:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, cool that CAPCOM's up first.

Super Kirby Clash Online Etiquette Guide

By SKY - Sword Hero mains, this one’s for you!

After reading Ludwig’s Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Battle Arena Etiquette Guide, I had the idea to write up something similar for another Nintendo Switch online game that desperately needed one. Presenting to you an online etiquette guide to Super Kirby Clash. I am a Team Kirby Clash Deluxe veteran hoping to improve the sequel’s online experience by helping new players learn how to cooperate and Git Gud.

Introduction

So you ran out of Vigor for Story Quests, and you need more experience to level up, therefore you decided to play online to fill in the remaining gap. Whether you’re a first time online player or a skilled veteran, please read this and don’t sabotage your fellow players. Especially if you’re a Sword Hero main.

This guide is intended for random online battles, though a lot of the tips here can help you when playing with friends and even in single player! The inputs for each attack I mention are covered here, based on using both Joy-Cons for one player. The game also allows you to view the controls by pressing -/+ while changing the role on your profile/form a team screen, or while pausing a battle in single player.

Basics/Tips for Beginners

Beginner players with no upgraded gear should stick to Beam Mage. Why? Because Beam Mage can stop time. Which means the timer won’t go down. Saving time is essential to scoring gold and platinum medals, which net you more experience and therefore make leveling up faster and easier.

Bloomberg Portrays Awful Chinese Parents Happy the Government Parents Their Kids for Them

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm not even sure this is FAKE NEWS.

We have been covering China constantly on this website. Undue weight, actually—though it's absolutely related to videogames, since it's been about China's heavy restrictions on sub-18 year olds’ ability to play videogames. But in today's article, I get to combine anti-China with... anti-Bloomberg, which I've been calling FAKE NEWS Bloomberg after all of the garbage they've been publishing about the videogame industry (and other things).

Their Quicktakes group published this series of short clips asking various Chinese people in China what they think about China's restrictions on children playing videogames. Any person who believes in Western values should be appalled by it:

"No one can control himself...even adults don't have very strong willpower, not to mention children."

Parents in China are praising the government's new policy that uses facial recognition to limit kids' online gaming to just 3 hours a week https://t.co/vFgnPKriAH pic.twitter.com/z26sC02x03

— Bloomberg Quicktake (@Quicktake) September 20, 2021

Here's the thing: I don't think this is FAKE NEWS on Bloomberg's part—although that's also confirmation bias on my part. I don't think this was selectively put together for an agenda: This is probably the average sort of reaction within China. Whether it's from genuine belief, government propaganda, or fear of being sent to a slave labour camp by the government for saying the wrong thing isn't really of much interest to me: it all leads to the same end result that I doubt would change if the Chinese person happened to be relocated to the United States.

Mr. Yi is labelled as a parent, praising the government for being the parent to his children.
So what good does that make him, then?

By the way, I don't consider Bloomberg to be spreading Chinese Communist Party propaganda with their mini report here. (Which might make this article not actually anti-Bloomberg.) This is valuable reporting that people can point to later for just how different the collectivist mindset is. When normal Americans (which excludes people like Tucker Carlson) see this (and they did, because it was “trending” on Twitter), they'll think China is awful, not admirable.

Along with showing utterly useless parents, Bloomberg also had a clip from Tao Ran, who is a former Chinese army man who works in adolescent development in China with an addiction treatment centre that resembles a prison. He kept stating China's new policy is a “last resort”, but he seems REALLY excited about this last resort. He's also excited about how Chinese companies will be using facial recognition technology on devices to check if there's a minor playing their game outside of the 8 to 9 PM Friday through Sunday timeslot. If China's psychological experts are claiming that spying on children is good for their development, clearly China is raising a generation of broken people that will grow up to be... stunted. Well, if that's what America is gonna have to compete with, that should be an easy win for Team Freedom. ...Assuming America (and other members of the team) doesn't go and emulate the commies and authoritarians.


If you were one of those Chinese parents interviewed by Bloomberg and would like to elaborate on your thoughts, feel FREE (a feeling that's foreign to you, but it's a great feeling to have) to do so in the comments section. You are, of course, on a VPN, because KoopaTV is banned within China after publishing too many things against the Chinese Communist Party. And if you're one of the billions of other people not interviewed by Bloomberg, you may also comment as well on your thoughts on what ordinary-looking Chinese people think.


Bloomberg Media Group's CEO has left to make a new venture altogether, still in journalism, and he finds the kind of reporting by Bloomberg presented in this article to be problematic.
Bloomberg isn't giving a Quicktake on how parents feel when the government took their access to games next.

Pokémon Trading Card Game Online → Pokémon "Trading" Card Game Live

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - TCGO to TCGL...and exploring my personal stake in the matter.

For the past decade and a half, The Pokémon Company International (TPCi) has operated Pokémon Trading Card Game Online, henceforth referred to as TCGO. Originally in early 2011, it was in beta as a web-based application. I was one of the very original beta testers, and this was back when Black & White Reshiram and Zekrom were the scariest metagame threats... and before it relaunched out of beta (and into a desktop downloadable offering with tablet support too), I was their beta test case for a permanent account ban. It was very glitchy.

People often ask me why I got banned, and you can imagine me with my sharp wit and polarising personality among... little kids who complained often, especially because they're too underdeveloped to think properly and were very entitled and didn't understand the game was a beta and not in a final state.

Anyway, the trading card game is all of the rage right now, so its online simulator version must be, too? As a result, TPCi today has revealed the successor to TCGO... and announced that TCGO will be sunset in the near future. It's to be called Pokémon Trading Card Game Live, it will be available on desktop and mobile (but not a game console), and here is a very short trailer:

Latios and Latias aren't INCLUSIVE enough. Meet Latixs

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The non-binary Eon Pokémon.

As people are celebrating Eon Heritage Month now in honour of Latias and Latios, the so-called Eon Twins (September happens to be the last time Latios and Latias have been distributed by Event in the West), there's a group of people who feel excluded. Allow me to explain.

You see, Latias and Latios are gendered Legendary Pokémon. Legendary Pokémon with a gender are a mere fraction of all Legendary Pokémon, which themselves are a mere fraction of all Pokémon in general. Usually, they're genderless. Latias is female. Latios is male. But what about people who don't identify as female or male? What Eon do they get? For a while, there was no inclusive answer. But KoopaTV would like to make you aware of... Latixs!

Meet Latixs. Pronouns: They/them.

Tencent's Got ≥9 million Nintendo Switch suckers with Pokémon UNITE

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Gross.

This isn't normally the kind of subject matter I'd devote an article to, but something about it makes me particularly upset.

Today, The Pokémon Company International announced that the Switch version (since the mobile versions won't be out for another week) of Tencent-developed Pokémon UNITE has achieved nine million downloads. This is in direct opposition to my article titled, “Pay-to-Win or not, Avoid Pokémon UNITE!” (Of course, far, far less than nine million people read that article. If only KoopaTV was more widely circulated, we could be saving (more) people!)

What a goal! The Nintendo Switch version of #PokemonUNITE has just exceeded 9 million downloads! To show our excitement and gratitude, every Trainer will receive 2,000 Aeos Tickets starting 9/29.

Thanks for playing Pokémon UNITE, and look forward to the mobile launch on 9/22! pic.twitter.com/m9xyYXhL0k

— Pokémon UNITE (@PokemonUnite) September 16, 2021

On top of this, there are already over five million pre-registrations for the mobile versions. Why, people? Why do you want Tencent—and the Chinese Communist Party with its recent history of using data-based surveillance for nefarious purposes—to have access to your information? When the game is free, you're the product. (Well, that and its pay-to-win monetisation scheme.) It's not even a good game. But you can bet that Tencent will be even more aggressive with Pokémon UNITE since they're being barred from their aggressive game monetisation and even basic playing in their mainland, China, and it's a brilliant way to exploit what's really a new demographic for them. You don't want to include yourself in that.


Ludwig plans to write and publish an actually substantive Pokémon article for tomorrow, though it'll still be mocking something. On the note about when the game is free and you're the product, while KoopaTV is free, there's no monetisation scheme at play. This site merely wants to entertain you (and influence your mind). Please feel free to give feedback about that, too!


Here's that substantive Pokémon mockery the next day.
Less than two weeks after the mobile version of Pokémon UNITE is out, it now has over 25 million downloads. SHEESH.

"Generic Anime Swordman" in Nintendo Switch Anime-Style Action Games

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nintendo listed ten “anime-style” games... how many feature generic anime swordsmen?

Over on the GameFAQs board for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (also known as SmashFAQs), there is a lot of talk about the “generic anime swordsman.” (This is also inclusive of swordswomen such as Lucina, Pyra, and Mythra.) The idea is that the existing roster is flooded with these Japanese sword-wielding characters, and many people's future requests are also in the same archetype. There are actual gameplay implications for having so many disjointed hitboxes to contend with, so it's not a mere question of aesthetic. Apparently, any humanoid (Meta Knight seems exempt, despite literally featuring in an anime where he used a sword) with a sword who was developed from Japan is generic, so don't think too hard on that. (I'll think hard for you in this article.)

At the end of August, Nintendo published a news item that went out on their website and the Nintendo Switch News service: Jump (dramatically) into anime-style action! This listed ten supposedly anime-style, recent-ish Nintendo Switch games that Nintendo felt like promoting. I figured it could be fun researching the games and seeing if they have any generic anime swordsmen.

Note that I only have actual first-claw knowledge of three of the games on the list... and then I have to research all of the other ones. I'm trying to avoid giving you spoilers on any of these.

Epic Games vs. Apple Court Decision has Arrived!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I read the whole thing, so here's what happened as I understood it, written in my...style.

In the hottest court case associated with the videogame industry filed in 2020 (sorry, Billy Mitchell), Epic Games accused Apple of being a monopolist in the two areas of iOS app distribution and iOS in-app purchasing. Epic Games had long plotted to make a spectacle of Apple's problematic behaviour in a move that got Fortnite removed from Apple's App Store (due to Epic Games breaching their Apple contract [and this breach of the Apple Developer Program License Agreement is noted by the court] by installing a hot fix to bypass Apple's in-app purchases monopoly) and resulted in 20% reduced V-Bucks prices on PC and consoles. That price reduction—and Fortnite not being on the App Store—is still in force even to this day.

The court has ruled on the case. You can read the 185-page ruling here... or you can listen to me talk (or write) about it for you. I recommend you do both, since I find the footnote references to specific testimony to be amusing and you might find it funny too. For example, the bit about Peely the Fortnite banana man dressing up in a tuxedo “to reflect the general solemnity of a federal court proceeding.” And while I considered the in-game racial equality documentary We the People to be a failed Fortnite experiment, Epic stated it was viewed by 1.5 million people and they used that as evidence of Fortnite being more than just a gaming experience. They really believe it's a virtual social space that transcends the definition of a videogame, or the metaverse.

Actually, that's a crucial part of it. Epic Games wanted to present Apple as being a monopolist of all app distribution (not just games—since Fortnite isn't just a game, or so Epic Games is trying to lead you to believe). Apple said that the relevant market is all digital videogames (including PCs and consoles), which would give Apple a much smaller role and therefore they're not a monopoly. The court disagreed with both of them, seeing the relevant market as digital mobile gaming transactions. While Apple has the majority market share there (55%), that's not close enough to monopolist market share yet. Epic also tried to convince the court that the Epic Games Store is a general digital store, and not... a games store specifically. In the court's write-up, they saw that claim as “suspect.” Mostly because the user interface and marketing all indicate it's a games store for gamers and gaming. (To say nothing of the name.) Still, Epic wanted to present the Epic Games Store as a full-fledged potential competitor to the Apple App Store, but it was being stifled by Apple's monopolist policies creating a barrier to entry.

Never Forget: Muslims around Earth actually rioted and killed over "Innocence of Muslims"

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They proved their incompatibility with Western* civilisation.

September 11 isn't just a date associated with 2001. It has meaning past that. Remember September 11, 2012? That was the day that America's consulate in Benghazi, Libya was attacked by terrorists. They murdered Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans, though then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton questioned what difference it made who those terrorists were and their reasoning for terrorising the complex.

The United States government suggested that it was an offensive video that spontaneously triggered those terrorists to get their rocket-propelled grenades and attack the consulate and murder the Americans. That video is known as Innocence of Muslims, and while connecting it to that Benghazi attack was a lie shamelessly repeated by Susan Rice (then U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations; now Director of the United States Domestic Policy Council) with the misinformation fed to her by the unreliable and untrustworthy American “intelligence community”, it is a fact that Innocence of Muslims did trigger many Muslims in other locations to engage in violent behaviour... resulting in over 50 deaths and many hundreds of injuries.

It's all documented in the Wikipedia article “Reactions to Innocence of Muslims”, an article that is required reading for this KoopaTV article. But on top of that, I also have required listening: Innocence of Muslims is actually still available on YouTube (at least, in the United States—it may be censored in other countries that do not allow free speech—that's a greater point I'll go into more detail about later in this KoopaTV article). You can watch it embedded below. Note that despite it being called “Muhammad Movie Trailer”, this is the whole thing that Muslims worldwide reacted to. There's no “non-trailer” version... and as you'll quickly figure out, that's really a good thing:

Chinese Communist Party to “slow” regulatory approvals of new videogames

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...According to a source and not an official declaration.

Remember how KoopaTV dedicated several articles in August to China, and it all ended with their new policy of three hours of online gaming for people under 18 per week? Well, that's not over. September means there's new opportunities for China to get into the news!

While initial reports erroneously said that China was suspending all new approvals for new videogames altogether for an indefinite amount of time, an update at the South China Morning Post published about six hours later clarified that it's not a total suspension, but just a slow-down. Still indefinite. Now, this is “according to people with knowledge of the matter” so it's not to be taken with 100% certainty (just because it's a story about the world's villains doing something bad doesn't actually make it true—there is a whole, VERY fascinating Wikipedia page about how this sort of sensationalist media coverage regularly happens to North Korea). However, this is the sort of thing that we'll be able to figure out in retrospect even if the Chinese Communist Party won't go out and say it directly.

Chinese gaming companies NetEase and Tencent were reportedly instructed in a private meeting with regulators to enforce the new limits, stop making the games inherently addictive and monetarily exploitative, and to make sure that Western values like “‘worshipping money’ and ‘gay love’” (as the article put it) were not to be in games played by Chinese people.

LEGO Super Mario 64 ? Block set... seems odd

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm not ready yet to connect this to an evil plot, but... it's odd...

Today—and maybe this got lost in some other news and announcements—Nintendo and The LEGO Group jointly announced yet ANOTHER collaboration: a massive ? Block that opens up to real Super Mario 64 courses. Observe this video:

Coming October 1 of this year (very soon) for an asking price of $170. 2064 pieces. LEGO says it's for 18+ individuals, but the video from Nintendo's channel has it marked as YouTube Kids, so I dunno how that works. I don't think people 13 and under are interested in Super Mario 64 nostalgia, and that's clearly what they're going after, per this line from the trailer:

Tripwire Interactive Tripped Over to Diversity-Hating Mob

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ousted CEO because of one political post (which proves his point).

Once upon a time (May 2021, actually), the Texas state legislature passed the Texas Heartbeat Act—which enables non-governmental parties to file civil lawsuits against someone who intends to or has assisted in someone having a medically unnecessary abortion... for a minimum court award of $10,000 per abortion plus attorneys’ fees (see Sec. 171.208). It came into effect September 1, 2021. Here was a signing photograph for it:

Shout-outs to the men and the many women making heart-shapes with their hands.
(Because it's the Heartbeat act. ...There's a distinct lack of beating, though.)
Original tweet.

Why am I writing about this? Well, now that it's in effect, it's getting more attention, and that includes from gaming industry people... especially from ex-gaming industry people. Meet John Gibson, former president of Tripwire Interactive, a game studio out of Roswell, Georgia. The company mostly focuses on PC gaming, with titles like Red Orchestra, Maneater, and Killing Floor. They've also published games from other studios, like Chivalry 2 developed by Torn Banner Studios. Here's what Mr. Gibson said:

Summary of Masahiro Sakurai's Katsuhiro Harada's Bar Appearances

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Almost two hours of footage condensed into digestible written summaries!

Did you that Tekken producer Katsuhro Harada has a talk show (a YouTube channel) called Harada's Bar? Well, he only opened it about six months ago (March 2021) and the numbers of watchers are in the mere thousands... Well, until Super Smash Bros. series director Masahiro Sakurai first came on the show in August. Those four episodes are in the tens and hundreds of thousands in views. Probably shows who is more popular...

Anyway, the timing is nice because Kazuya Mishima (of Tekken) has been making an interesting impact on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as downloadable content, and Harada and Sakurai are friends (Sakurai even came to Harada's wedding reception—though so did everyone else). Over several episodes (because why just have one episode?) they discussed many topics. To do you a favour, I watched them all and summarised them with my thoughts. Of course, what I find interesting and notable likely differs from you, so I've also embedded the episodes as well so you can judge for yourself. The episodes are voiced in Japanese but contain English open captions.

Grit Blue Moon's Degenerate "True Grit Triumphs" Experience

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A bad online event tourney... trivialised by a broken CO.

Last weekend had a dreadful Super Smash Bros. Ultimate online event tourney: True Grit Triumphs. There isn't really a theme to it: It's just two-stock free-for-all Stamina (150 HP) matches that last 3 minutes. No items, no Final Smash Meter, and no hazards on in the stages. No character restrictions. The only unique thing there is the presence of Stamina, which is otherwise ignored by people outside of a select few Classic Mode routes and some Spirit Battles. So why is that so bad?

In practice, Stamina just doesn't work with two stocks and only three minutes. The rules heavily encourage camping and avoiding direct combat until time runs out. Sudden Death is enacted based on stock count, not hit points remaining—so a player with 1 HP and 1 stock and a player with 150 HP and 1 stock when the three minutes are up will be considered tied, and they will both go to Sudden Death. When Sudden Death starts, all players will only have 1 HP... so any attack will KO them. That's different than normal %-based KOing that you would deal with in non-Stamina Sudden Death... as the video below should make abundantly clear:

In the above, Grit (represented as Fox McCloud) avoided direct combat and mostly stayed away from others and shot very long-range lasers. Grit has way more range than any of the other combatants, and can wipe out enemies’ stamina before they ever reach him. Once it became Sudden Death, one hit from the Blaster gun is enough to end the fight and do that 1 HP of damage, and there's pretty much nothing Ganondorf (...Von Bolt?) could do about it. The Blaster comes out very fast and goes very far... and he can keep shooting an endless stream of the lasers. (Von Bolt could've tried jumping to the higher platform instead of rolling, though.)

It's a true Grit triumph, done exactly how Grit would've approached it. (In a non-approaching way.)

While it's very in-character of Grit to fight that way... it's still very degenerate for everyone else. Grit is commonly seen as a top-tier commanding officer in the Advance Wars series (well, mostly Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising) because of the increased range and attack power of his indirect combat Artillery units. People hate fighting him. He's THE camping character in Advance Wars, after all. He will have rows of infantry to protect his Artillery and Rockets (and Missiles, if necessary) and then slowly advance...obliterating everything in the way to his opponent's headquarters. Very effective if there are chokepoints (limiting avenues to approach), like how Fox's lasers are harder to avoid if there is only one path to approach (no platforms). He can keep the path locked down. Advance Wars combat also runs on a Stamina mode with unit health, so it's pretty accurate to compare.

At least in Sudden Death for non-Stamina, you have to walk up to someone and hit them with a move that deals knockback. There are still many projectiles that will do that, but at least they tend to be more difficult to use than Blaster. At least this bad event tourney is over now.

By the way, for people who didn't get the meta of the event tourney and they actually lost both of their stocks before the three minutes were up, it was very common for them to just ragequit and disconnect, which causes the game to suddenly pause for SEVERAL seconds as it processes that this person has turned off their Nintendo Switch. This totally cuts into the mental momentum concentration that the remaining players have. That same problem would go for any stock-based free-for-all match. A lot of players are impatient and inconsiderate twits who don't care how the game ends. Stock is still the superior mode for singles and team matches... just not for online free-for-alls.


Ludwig didn't come up with the Fox strategy. Instead, he encountered someone else who was doing it first. Then Ludwig copied the strategy for the content (and easily won with it)... and then he decided to make it an Advance Wars thing because it's named after Grit. Maybe you'll want to comment on if you played the tour for yourself. Did you think it was fun? At all?


Want more Advance Wars Blue Moon content? Check out this analysis featuring Colin Blue Moon!
The event tour that got a KoopaTV article before this one was more thematic in nature, about characters from the 2010s.

So much for Japan Prime Minister Yoshihide Suga

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He lasted a year. How'd he do?

A year ago, I wrote about how Shinzō Abe resigned as the Prime Minister of Japan due to health issues... to be replaced by Yoshihide Suga.

Now Yoshihide Suga will be leaving his station just with one year in power... also due to health issues. But this time, they're not his own health issues. Rather, it's because his popularity has totally plummeted due to how badly Japan has been doing with the Chinese Communist Party Virus (CCP Virus). You know, you can see that in how often they declare states of emergencies that shut down things like Super Nintendo World while simultaneously asking Japanese citizens to domestically travel around to boost the economy. (As of publishing, Osaka Prefecture just hit a new record in new cases, though the park is open... in very limited numbers and offering refunds to people who can't actually come in as a result.)

Prime Minister Suga was hoping that the Tokyo 2021 Olympic Games would actually HELP his popularity, which is... pretty good evidence that he's an imbecile, quite frankly. The Japanese hated it... for coronavirus reasons, and not Dragon Quest Overture reasons, to clarify. So I'm not upset or anything about his lack of staying power. He'll be replaced with one of several possible right-wingers in his party by the end of September.

Big Brain Academy: Brain vs. Brain Trailer—Structural Racism SOLVED!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV would like to help, too.

Today, Nintendo announced Big Brain Academy: Brain vs. Brain for the Nintendo Switch. This is like Big Brain Academy for the DS (and later part of the Wii U Virtual Console, which I actually endorsed)—meaning it predates the “big brain” memes you see today. Anyway, the gimmick here is that not only is there single-player like the original, but there is also local multiplayer and Nintendo Switch Online-enabled ghost data fights. ...I'm not really sure if adding multiplayer is as... compelling as Nintendo thinks it is, but at the very least, it's demonstrating an extremely important fact about society.

There's two parts to that. Number one, watch this trailer from Nintendo of America:

KoopaTV's August 2021 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Another quick summer end.

In September, it gets darker and the weather is meaner. Summer is quickly ending, and people are going back or have already been going back to school. It's not a month I look forward to... but here we are. Well, before fully acknowledging the realities of the calendar, let's review and reminisce on August 2021, shall we? That's what this newsletter will do through several headlines... including news on the months ahead!

Seriously, did FeedBurner (KoopaTV's old email subscription service) end yet?

I've been trying to tell you all that KoopaTV's old email subscription provider, FeedBurner, is going to be end-of-lifed imminently. First it was July. Then that got moved to the middle of August. As of today, I'm still getting emails from it...

If FeedBurner was supposed to die in mid-August, why am I getting stuff on September 1?

Assuming that FeedBurner will stop any day now, all that will be left is KoopaTV's alternate and free email subscription provider, follow.it. I mention free because I could pay money for the service to be better. ...But I haven't and no one's really urging me to. I still would like your feedback!

Top Five Recommended Experiences of August 2021

What went on in KoopaTV throughout the month? Here's a list of the top five recommended KoopaTV experiences of August 2021... listed in chronological order: