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Friday, October 24, 2014

Ludwig's Smash Bros. Wii U Post-Thoughts, Speculation, and APOLOGIES!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Boy, did I really screw up.

At KoopaTV, we pride ourselves on being on the right side of history. We're happy to be correct! Which is why it's really shameful when we're wrong on something. So before I talk about all the amazing things from yesterday's Nintendo Direct... erm, "Super Smash Bros. For Wii U 50-Fact Extravaganza", I have to apologize.

I wrote an article last year in July entitled, "Smash 4 DOES HAVE a Story Mode". My liberal (not in the political sense — I'd never stoop that low!) usage of capitalization in that article title is the reason why only "APOLOGIES" is in all-capital letters for this article.

As revealed yesterday, Super Smash Bros. 4 does not have a story mode. If you look at my article's main source, they source Eurogamer, which sources Polygon. As in, the originator of the information that there would be a story mode comes from Polygon. The same Polygon that we warn you to stay away from because of their duplicitous information. Case in point, right? Polygon quoted Sakurai as saying,
"There will be a single player [campaign]"
See those brackets? Polygon added those. Sakurai didn't say that. Polygon MADE THAT INFORMATION UP and then it spread. I apologize for not doing my due diligence. At the very least, I was wise enough to recognize that Kotaku was a bad source at that time period! That type of misinformation spread is the very same way that a ton of sites reported lies about Herman Cain during his presidential run! (I bring that up because Herman Cain brought it up recently.)


I'm so excited I can't contain myself.

I can finally talk about me being in Super Smash Bros. 4! You know, since I wasn't officially announced until yesterday.

...I don't think Sakurai likes me all that much. Here's why:

I have the second or third lowest area to myself, only ahead of Morton and tied with Larry.

The title of the video is "The Future King"...

...I can't shake the nagging feeling that Sakurai is not talking about me.

My face is blocked off by that brat's hair. And I face off against Rosalina? Really?
That was Bowser Jr.'s job in Super Mario Galaxy and he BLEW IT. I don't want his leftovers!

So... there's some more.

Yeah, uh, that's me plummeting there.
You guys wait for me! I... I... I'll lead from behind!
I don't know what I ever did to Masahiro Sakurai. I've expressed nothing but devotion to the man! And I've repeatedly stressed that he's my favourite videogame designer. I don't understand! WHY SAKURAI WHY?

It also does not help that he completely showed up our trailer with an announcement about Mewtwo being DLC. If you look at that same Polygon interview I apologized for citing, Sakurai said that they had no plans for any DLC. By the time that interview was conducted, the whole roster was basically decided. So Mewtwo really was decided on recently. Like, around when the 3DS version was being released in Japan. As I alluded to in the live-reaction log, after putting a lot of staff on bug-testing for the Wii U, the dudes who have the talent in character-development were put to work on Mewtwo to have them do something to pass the time. But to suggest that Namco is going to have them work full-time on DLC for the next few years is ridiculous. These aren't Sakurai's minions! They're on loan! Since DLC was apparently not even in the design documents that Nintendo would present to Namco, Namco could not have planned for a long-term post-release arrangement of having employees do DLC work.

Just because Sakurai can convince himself to do things without a plan, doesn't mean he can get a third party to sign up on it. Especially when they don't even get to share 100% of the profits.

I agree with RawkHawk2010 that we should not have DLC characters. Especially if they're done in any way similar to what Mario Kart 8 did. It's going to make people think there will be a new Smash announcement any time Nintendo does any event. It's going to only hurt the sales of any future Super Smash Bros. game if the game is actively supported for a while! (Unless they shut down the online connection again.) I still think that Mewtwo will be the only one, though. ...However, I would not be surprised if the Ice Climbers also became DLC. Again, Sakurai allegedly did not plan on having DLC at the start of the project. Do you think he wants to keep designing and testing characters? Every new character introduced increases the amount of testing at an increasing rate. Sakurai can't just retain all of those testers when they don't work for him! And Sakurai needs to take time off to heal his arms and wrists. Not making DLC.

Enough of that negativity stuff though. If you read along with the live reactions, for the first 34 minutes or so I was basically constantly screaming in hype. Amazing features all around. Smash Tour looks really promising. Why do I think of it like Mario Superstar Baseball's Challenge Mode? You go around a board map collecting players to be in your team, doing specific challenges to try to do so. Then you face off against the teams of other people. Except there, it was just the AI. Here, it's against local people!

And I do mean local people. Since Smash Run is without online, I feel like Smash Tour has a good chance of that too. Especially since the Special Smash is offline-only, and 8-player Smash is also offline-only (although we do have Yellow team for the first time in the series). To me, finding 8 players to play with online is a lot easier than stuffing 8 dudes and 8 controllers in a room, but I guess the lag could be a disaster.

Also, Event mode is Wii U-exclusive. Well, good that it's still around! And it has its own Sakurai-checklist kind of system with different directions. Love it. Let's see what some of these events are...

Pft, those troublesome kids...

Okay, Sakurai clearly has something against kids when the two solo events he shows off on the Events page both have to do with mischievous young punks. This is possibly connected to his views on children judging him for putting clone characters in. I also like his idea of having Pac-Man be the final boss in All-Star Mode. He's the most satisfying to destroy! Also, there is no "Tower of Smash" feature that people pledged their allegiance to. What did I say about not believing in so-called leaks? I would collect screenshots of all of the people who absolutely thought "Tower of Smash" was true, but I wouldn't have memory left in my computer.

With things like Tourneys, Nintendo wants Super Smash Bros. For Wii U to be the definitive entry. We still recommend you buy Super Smash Bros. For 3DS, but if you can only choose one... Well, obviously you pick the Wii U version.

If you don't already have a Wii U, what are you waiting for? Go buy one!

If Ludwig can't be the future king, then at least his NNID of PrinceOfKoopas can never go out of style! Follow him on Miiverse! Which you can access on the Wii U that you should already have or are about to buy.

This is Ludwig's second apology article. His first one is here, concerning Pokémon X/Y.
Sakurai has stated he has no plans for paid DLC.
Ludwig has to apologise again because it turns out Sakurai was working on paid DLC ANYWAY.
Three and a half years later, for the next game in the Super Smash Bros. series, Sakurai still hates Ludwig.
Masahiro Sakurai pretends the Koopalings don't exist in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate despite being in the game.
Masahiro Sakurai apparently sees no difference between Ludwig, Wendy, and Bowser Jr. Why?


  1. I'm mostly against character DLC, but I still want to know where Isaac is. Also, Phoenix Wright DLC would make me cry tears of joy.

    Hopefully, we get stage and Alt costume DLC

    1. ...Yeah, where IS Isaac? Sakurai loves reusing assets, so... Hm.
      Of course I would be a hypocrite and cry out in joy if Wright was DLC!

      Stage DLC I'd be fine with. Alt costume too. I'm not craving for them or anything, though. ...But that'd mean they'd have to include music in them, right? Maybe the stage DLC would be the stage-of-the-day from Brawl with the Stage Builder.

      Battlefield forms of stages is what I want from stages now.

    2. I must jump in on this to say... if Phoenix Wright (or Simon Blackquill or Zacharias Barnham or Hershel Layton or Jean Descole or a few select others) was added as DLC, that would convince me to buy it. XD

    3. ...(Layton and Wright seem the most likely of those. ...As in, above 0%.)

      Well, I'll make it part of my goal to convince you to buy it between now and New Years.

  2. It's such a shame that Sakurai made Bowser Jr the future King, you would've made a great King I'm sure of it!

    1. Hey, not even Sakurai can predict the future! (Or else he'd predict that he'd implement DLC, right?)

      I'll show him!

      Also, welcome to the KoopaTV comments section. :D

  3. You're right, you never really know. I know you can show him, you're just that BOSS! Also, thank you! I'll probably be reading and commenting more often now, you're articles are very interesting and sometimes entertaining

    1. Thanks!

      (Hm, I'm not sure if I want "very interesting and sometimes entertaining" or "sometimes interesting and very entertaining"... Those philosophical questions keep me up at night!)


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