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Wednesday, March 31, 2021

The March 31, 2021 Sunset List: Adding KoopaTV.org?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We didn't sign up to be part of this!

To help you keep track, here is what's disappearing by Nintendo's doing as of April 1, 2021 at 2:59 Eastern (or 23:59 Pacific on March 31, 2021):
End-of-Sale
Super Mario 3D All-Stars
Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon & the Blade of Light
Game & Watch: Super Mario Bros. system
End-of-Life
Super Mario Bros. 35
Super Mario Maker course uploading and bookmarking website

End-of-Sale means that, if you've already bought it, you can keep using/playing it, but you won't be able to buy/access it if you haven't already. (You can still re-download those games to your Nintendo Switch if it's deleted later for digital versions, and if you happen to have an unused download code after April 1, you can use that too.) End-of-Life means that you won't be able to access it anymore and it'll be gone.

But here's some BREAKING NEWS. Nintendo has reached out to KoopaTV and said that, because Koopas share the 35-year anniversary with Mario, and Mario is going away afterwards, WE need to be end-of-sale'd, too! That would mean no more new KoopaTV articles, but you can still play with existing ones.


This is obviously absurd, since KoopaTV has been around since 2013, and we're not a limited time fear-of-missing-out trick to boost Nintendo's fiscal year ending March 2021. As someone who has never appreciated anniversaries, I sure didn't sign up for this. So we're gonna fight Nintendo's decision, especially in light of everything we just wrote yesterday about being the successor to the just-this-month end-of-sale'd The Cain Gang. They can't keep Koopas down! ...Which probably also means they can't keep Mario the plumber down, either. ...So be it!


You can still comment on KoopaTV articles, but don't expect a reply back after 2:59 Eastern on April 1, because that would constitute as new content. You also shouldn't expect those comments to be recognised in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, since comment-grading would also count as new content. This also extends to the “general” KoopaTV social media presences.


KoopaTV was out for... a week, but has returned! Check out the story here.
KoopaTV being traumatised by this sunset list severely dampened the eight-year anniversary article.

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

The Posthumous "The Cain Gang" Has Disbanded

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We're living past our inspiration. Are we the successor?

Remember when former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain died due to the Chinese Communist Party Virus? That was a very impactful moment for KoopaTV and me personally. After dropping out of the race, Herman Cain created a goofy content website, CainTV, in 2012. This was the genesis for the creation of KoopaTV in 2013.

After their boss's untimely death, the CainTV group (which had long since rebranded to HermanCain.com), which included Herman's daughter, rebranded to The Cain Gang. This primarily relied on content syndicated by The Western Journal, which is a media outlet I don't respect, but Herman had been working with them for years before his death. Very shortly after The Cain Gang was established, CainTV mainstay contributor Robert Laurie left it, citing that using the guy's brand after the death didn't sit well with him.

Indeed, the vibe totally changed, and it didn't help that Herman's Twitter account—his content on Facebook by comparison was always more favourably received due to the Boomer conservative audience—was auto-posting stuff from The Western Journal. It repeatedly tweeted out ironic things, like “This is exactly what happens if you're a minority and you dare disagree with the leftists. You're dead to them.” (Herman Cain was a minority and also dared to disagree with the leftists... except when he tweeted that, he wasn't figuratively dead just to the leftists, but he was literally dead to everyone.) The account also tweeted, “Humanity has survived far, far worse than what 2020 has thrown at us.” (Herman Cain died in 2020.) And perhaps its most infamous tweet was, “It's time for the obsessive mask-wearing to wear off.” (Mask-wearing is widely considered by health professionals to help prevent catching the Chinese Communist Party Virus that Herman Cain died from.)

I guess there is only so much humiliation Herman Cain's estate could take until they realised that this is not a good way to honour the legacy of Herman Cain, so two weeks ago, Dan Calabrese (CainTV's editor in chief) announced that The Cain Gang would be coming to a close.


Monday, March 29, 2021

The Yuji Naka BALAN WONDERWORLD Astroturf Cult

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's a contingent of fans trying to rewrite reality. Warning: This article spoils one of the story reveals of the game to demonstrate the point.

You might not have realised it, but BALAN WONDERWORLD is out on all the major platforms right now for $60. You know, the game I wrote was everything bad about 3D platformers based on its demo. I think that demo totally broke MOST people's hopes for the game. You can see that the Nintendo of America Twitter account tweeted multiple times at whatever opportunity prior to the game's release... but not on the launch day itself, preferring instead to promote the significantly more promising Monster Hunter Rise, as well as an update on their non-genocidal Super Mario Bros 35 3rd World Count Challenge. (By comparison, Sony and SQUARE ENIX promoted the game on release a whole bunch, so people in the PlayStation ecosystem probably know it's out. Microsoft instead promoted significantly better SQUARE ENIX game Octopath Traveler, now available on Xbox Game Pass.)

Now, I said most people, because there are still a few people that will stand by BALAN WONDERWORLD, and more accurately, anything associated with Yuji Naka. BALAN WONDERWORLD is directed by Yuji Naka, but he's better known for when he was a member of SEGA, programming/producing the Sonic the Hedgehog series and NiGHTS into Dreams. This was in the 1990s/early 2000s. He worked with Naoto Ohshima, character designer for Sonic the Hedgehog, and later founder of Artoon (known for the terrible Yoshi's Island DS) and then Arzest (known for the terrible Yoshi's New Island). Because Yuji Naka wanted to work with Naoto Ohshima again—it's been decades—Arzest and their team are the co-developers of BALAN WONDERWORLD with SQUARE ENIX.

That was a dense few paragraphs full of names. But the point is that the game is out... and there isn't that much organic coverage of it—besides a report that the base version of the game (without the day 1 patch) will induce seizures, even in people not normally prone to epilepsy. Most people, like myself, played the demo and were repulsed by it. Nintendo and Microsoft read the room and considered the game dead on arrival. SQUARE ENIX, despite their social media, seems to privately consider BALAN WONDERWORLD dead on arrival as well, having not sent most reviewers review codes until the game released, which is leaving the review aggregators very empty as media outlets are scrambling to torture themselves on who can get through the game the fastest to get reviews out. Right now, there's just very few reviews and not much activity for people actually playing the game, which probably means everyone's scared of buying it. Or they're too busy reading the $10 280-page novel that SQUARE ENIX published explaining the game's story, since apparently the game itself doesn't have dialogue and doesn't try to explain all of what's going on. (And to be fair, there are a lot of really neat ideas with the game world/environments and story and lore if you browse through the chapters on the official website, which unfortunately performs as poorly as the game does so it may take several refreshes. Those ideas just don't manifest well in-game.)

Well... they are either busy with the book (or the game, I guess), or they're making fake reviews on Metacritic.


Friday, March 26, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 33: Older and Stronger

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Getting new Game Gym minigame high scores and ranks.

This week on KoopaTV's Fitness Friday series, I've logged my experiences with World 33: Extra Fitness Lv. 211 in Ring Fit Adventure. This retreads World 10: Grandminion Gauntlet, which is basically a big compilation of Ring Fit Adventure's minigames.

I'm mentioning this upfront because the reason I'm doing this training is to compete in the formerly Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games (it's officially still called Tokyo 2020, but let's be real, it's Tokyo 2021) for Team Koopa. You may remember Mario & Sonic at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games as a (bad) minigame compilation. Assuming that the Tokyo 2021 Olympics are most like a minigame compilation, then doing the world based on a minigame compilation seems to be the most effective test of my skills. Therefore, I'm cranking it up from difficulty level 29 to difficulty level 30! That's the highest one! (...Note that the game's difficulty level doesn't impact the minigames in any way.)

On Sunday, the first thing I did was run to General Store Number 29 to buy the Game Machine II, which has the set bonus of increasing experience point gains by 5%. This replaces the much weaker Galactic Jogger set I've been making my go-to outfit for that same set bonus. Or... I tried to buy it, but I need four total Topaz stones and I only have three. (The store also offers the Shadow Jogger II outfit, which requires another Topaz, but it has no set bonus and has the same stats as the Game Machine II, so why would you ever wear it? ...Well, it does have neat aesthetics.) The second thing I did was not start World 33, but run back to World 15: Quizton, to pick up the Persimmon Smoothie recipe I missed on the North Road level. How did I know it's there? ...I looked it up. The Persimmon Smoothie doubles your experience points in a fight when you drink it. It takes four Persimmons to make, and there's no other use for the ingredient in Ring Fit Adventure. (Incidentally, there are Persimmons available to collect in North Road.)



I embedded above how to get to the chest. The reason I missed it to begin with is because of bad game design. Sometimes I compliment Ring Fit Adventure's game design, but in this case, if you skip the blue hook and keep going, you'll go to an orange hook with an alternate path. Only the blue hook has the chest. Games often reward you for being patient and going for the second option, but in this case, you're rewarded for jumping off and going for the very first option presented. Of course, you have absolutely no way of knowing what's behind the other option unless you replay the level, and you have no way of knowing it was something important like a missed smoothie recipe and not just something trifling like money. Bad.

Alright, time to tackle the Game Gyms. First is Gluting Gallery (Advanced), which has a Topaz! And I got in splendid S rank fashion, which I already had. I should note that one of the Grandminions, which are little kids that Guru Andma takes care of (Armie, Gutso, C-C-Calvin, Buttercup, Abigail, and Armanda), are upset that the standards for clearing the Game Gyms are higher in Extra Fitness than Adventure Mode (reflecting they require an A rank for a bonus instead of a mere B rank), which is a nice gameplay-story integration addressing the increased difficulty.

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Super Mario Bros. 35's Last World Count Challenge ISN'T a Genocide. Just Hyperinflation

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Though Nintendo is finding other ways to promote Goomba genocide.

After a dual-article intense “NEVER AGAIN” lobbying campaign from KoopaTV (and you)—specifically the article condemning the general genocidal Super Mario Bros. 35 1st World Count Challenge (that disproportionately affected Goombas) and the article condemning the genocidal Super Mario Bros. 35 2nd World Count Challenge (that specifically targeted Goombas), Nintendo's third and final World Count Challenge is...for players to cumulatively collect 350 million Coins to win 350 My Nintendo Platinum Points by March 30, 2:59 Eastern. In other words, the goal isn't murder. It's just inflating the Mushroom Kingdom's currency to general uselessness on a scale far more than the millions of coins that Mario was tasked with creating for New Super Mario Bros. 2.

Quite frankly, the very poor monetary policies of the Mushroom Kingdom government doesn't bother me anywhere near genocide does, given how life is of greater importance than international economics. Yes, it makes it extremely difficult for them to be a viable trading partner, despite their abundance of natural resources. One of the reasons why Koopa Kingdom finds it desirable to... borrow land ownership of areas of the Mushroom Kingdom is to be able to access those resources without the nearly impossible trade issues due to how awful the gold coin's value is.

(Mushroom Kingdom currency being worthless would make stable Koopa Kingdom coin currency quite desirable to the Mushroom Kingdom people... except it's not considered legal tender and the exchange rates are ridiculous enough that no one's gonna exchange it.)

I was supposed to write a detailed article on the Mushroom Kingdom's inflation woes many years ago and still haven't done so, but this isn't that article. This article is just happy about the lack of widespread incentivised genocide.

Well... that's speaking too soon. Look at this video Nintendo uploaded today:


Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Our Virtual Tour of Super Nintendo World, Now Open!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - #We Aren't Mario.

Once upon a time, the Nintendo-Universal Studios collaboration theme park Super Nintendo World was supposed to open February 4, 2021. That didn't happen. But, hey, it's open now! (And has been for the past week.) If you got 7,800 yen (after tax) (about $72) lying around for a one-day stay, you can check it out. It's about $141 for a two-day stay. Not my sort of thing, honestly. But I am willing to go on a virtual tour of the place courtesy of the website. At least that's free.

There are a few details we didn't already get from Shigeru Miyamoto's trespassing of Lord Bowser's domain in Super Nintendo World back in 2020. Not only was he trespassing, it turns out that Shigeru Miyamoto vandalised some expensive artwork of the King of Koopas himself. Apparently in the spirit of vandalising Koopa property, the theme park website boldly declares, “#WE ARE MARIO!!” (By the way, hashtags break when you put a space. Dunno if they know that.) But let's look at what's in the park...

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Do Yourself a Favour: Listen to "Line Them Up! A Paper Mario Concert"

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nearly 40 minutes of beautiful renditions of already-amazing music.

While it's not unheard of, usually I don't write articles that are just, “Go listen to this game music.” HOWEVER, since KoopaTV went and gave the Best OST of 2020 award to Paper Mario: The Origami King, I think it makes plenty of sense to promote this concert for that game's music, since it deserves waaaaaay more views and attention than some other recent “viral” fan works:



Line Them Up! A Paper Mario Concert was a collaboration by vgmtogether, a three-day online gaming music event (that happened already ten days ago) made by gaming music fans. The concert had over 160 musicians involved (including guest stars like Rare Ltd.-associated musicians Robin Beanland, David Wise, and Grant Kirkhope), and a LOT of production effort as well, directed by Laura Intravia. I enjoyed it big-league and you will too. If you pay attention, you'll probably find some musicians that you weren't aware of that seem likable and talented enough and maybe follow them.

Covered songs include the main theme, Red Streamer Battle, Event Battle, Picnic Road, Autumn Mountain, Stage Play, Shy Guys Finish Last, Vellumental Battle, Scorching Sandpaper Desert, a Yellow Streamer medley (including Snif City), Singer Spotlight (the Elastic Entertainer and other vocalised themes), a medley of the Legion of Stationery boss themes, Exploring the Great Sea, and final boss music. ...So there may be some music spoilers, if that's a type of spoiler you don't like. (Very minimal visual spoilers though!) Very far from all of the songs in the game, of course, and not even all the best ones. ♪


I received a reader request, and I intend to do it... sometime in 2021... to write a full review for Paper Mario: The Origami King after I wrote the review of Paper Mario: Color Splash four years ago. You already know I love the music. As for the rest of the game? You'll have to wait and read my eventual review.


Ludwig's opening paragraph throwing shade on recent viral fan works includes the reimagined Sinnoh remakes trailer that he likes less and less as time passes. He hopes the concert video-on-demand doesn't get cease-and-desisted or something like the links on his article for the Kirby Café soundtracks did.

Monday, March 22, 2021

"Making Walking Fun": Nintendo + Niantic Team to Create Mobile Pikmin App

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Who is against walking...?

Tonight, Nintendo and Niantic announced they're teaming up to create a mobile app based on the Pikmin series due for release later this year. It's being developed by the mysterious Niantic Tokyo Studio, which was founded in 2018 but has publicly accomplished nothing up to this point. (It seems the reason for that being the challenge of trying to hire enough quality people to make augmented reality-based smartphone games.)

This is the first real collaboration between Nintendo and Niantic, since Pokémon GO notably doesn't count due to being more of The Pokémon Company. (Which Nintendo still has a part of.) Shigeru Miyamoto was quoted in the short announcement as saying that the theme is “making walking fun” and “We hope that the Pikmin and this app will become a partner in your life.” Then they want you to give them your email address so they'll tell you when there's news.

Pikmin mobile app key art augmented reality Nintendo Niantic walking
Are... there only going to be Pikmin? No other creatures?
Either they're saving that for one of those future news drops, or they're wasting an opportunity.
(And after they added the Piklopedia to Pikmin 3 Deluxe! ...Which, uh, exists, by the way.)


That's the whole gist of it, so my question is... what do people have against walking? Walking isn't like brushing your teeth, which is inherently unpleasant (and Pokémon Smile, which has a very similar theme of making brushing teeth fun, doesn't actually make it fun). Walking is... a necessity. If you want to be fit, play Ring Fit Adventure on the Nintendo Switch. But maybe this is supposed to incentivise walking into the woods (and getting bit by mosquitos) or walking aimlessly on the streets of your city (and getting ran over by cars and bicyclists like Shigeru Miyamoto)?

Like, look at the picture above. If that art is supposed to be accurate and representative, then that means the Pikmin are as small as you'd expect them to be. What's that mean in practice? You'll constantly be looking down on the ground (through your phone) to see the Pikmin. Where do you want your head to be when walking (or any other method of travel)? Forward in front of you, so you can see where you're going without hitting into something, taking a bad turn, or falling down a ditch. That's a sure way to make walking NOT fun.


Consider me a skeptic. In any case, I'm curious on the “gameplay activities designed to encourage walking and make the activity more enjoyable.”


Ludwig wonders who is against walking, but he himself stays in his castle and doesn't go on recreational walks. If he did, he'd be mentioning them on his weekly KoopaTV Fitness Friday logs. ...So maybe he would benefit from this, until he bashes his face against a sign post or something because he wasn't looking where he was going.


A big reason that walking wouldn't be fun are all of the barking dogs.

Friday, March 19, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 32: F.L.E.X. System

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - With spicy relationship drama!?

I'm pleased to present the 32nd week of KoopaTV's Fitness Friday series! This mostly features my playthrough of Ring Fit Adventure for Nintendo Switch, but sometimes there's other things in the log for you to read as well.

I'm playing through the Extra Fitness mode, which means I've already gone through the main story and its worlds. Extra Fitness's shtick is that I'm going through all of those worlds again, but now with brand-new dialogue to reflect we're training our bodies to be even stronger (which applies to me in real life, since I'm keeping fit to prepare for the Olympics this summer for Team Koopa), as opposed to saving the world.


This week, we're in World 32: Extra Fitness Lv. 207, which is based off World 9: Flex Dojo. This is Armando's world, and he's the master of... arms. Also, I get the impression he really likes fellow Nintendo Switch game ARMS, since he's constantly talking in ALL-CAPS about ARMS.

The world opens up continuing Armando's character development he got from the end of the normal Adventure Mode, so here's my obligatory spoiler warning to stop reading this if you care about Ring Fit Adventure's story and characters and don't want to read about their character development and don't already know about it...


Thursday, March 18, 2021

CAPCOM Publisher Sale of March 2021!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ubisoft and SQUARE ENIX join in too.

You didn't expect me to be writing about another CAPCOM sale a month after the mid-February sale “themed” after Lunar New Year 2021, did you? ...Eh, you probably did. CAPCOM loves to have sales.

This time, closer to their whole library on the Nintendo eShop is on sale until March 31. Why? I don't know, but it probably has to do with the release of Monster Hunter Rise on the Nintendo Switch on March 26.

Annoyingly, the first Monster Hunter Stories for 3DS is not on sale.

CAPCOM's games on Steam and the Xbox aren't on sale, but some of their PlayStation Store games are on sale, like Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy and Mega Man X Legacy Collection (ending March 24), but not Mega Man 11, ŌKAMI HD or Mega Man Zero/ZX Collection. (But all of those games are currently on sale on the eShop! Along with all the Ace Attorney games on the 3DS.)


Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Lying Twitter Trends Brigades Attack on Republican Congresswoman for Nonexistent Hypocrisy

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - “I get my news from Twitter!” is a bad sign.

I'm told this sort of thing happens all the time, but I want to document it in an article so I can reference it for the future.

On March 14, mainstream social media platform Twitter had this on their trending sidebar (that you can't hide, to my knowledge) for users in the United States:

Twitter trending March 14 2021 you voted against it COVID-19 relief bill Rep. María Elvira Salazar
So this seems like a horrible case of hypocrisy, right?
“YOU VOTED AGAINST IT: Many point out that Rep. María Elvira Salazar voted against the
$1.9 trillion COVID-19 relief bill, after she called it 'my bipartisan relief bill'”


The problem is that this summary by the Twitter trending team (and it's written and curated by humans who work for Twitter) is a complete fabrication and disinformation, and by writing the event in a factual tone, they caused the millions of Twitter users who were in the United States at that time to digest FAKE NEWS, with a sizable percent of them brigading (an online harassment tactic where a bunch of coordinated people swarm in on you) Rep. Salazar (her then-recent tweets were all “ratio'd”, which is an obnoxious Twitter cultural thing phenomenon that has its own toxic culture associated with it) as well. A lot of people apparently believed this to be true information because Twitter, the company, said so.

Here's the true story:

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Explaining the Fighters of Many Faces Event Tourney (Super Smash Bros. Ultimate)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I got one face, but it's a good one. (Actually, almost everyone has one face but different accessories.)

Last weekend (the one with Daylight Saving Time and Marie Day—which made the tourney last one hour less than normal tourneys) there was an event tourney in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. For once in one of these articles about the event tourneys, I'm actually not complaining about the inclusion. It's comprehensive—with one exception that I'll get into. And I was in it. This was the Fighters of Many Faces event tourney, described as:
This time-limited tourney features fighters who change significantly between color variations. They could have a different form or shape, or be someone else entirely!

If you click that link (or scroll down a little further in this article), you'll see an enormous amount of the cast was included in this. Here's what this means: When you switch between the alternate colours/costumes of a character on the selection screen, and if they have any physical model change whatsoever that isn't just a recolour, they got to be in Fighters of Many Faces. Note that physical model changes don't change a character's frame data, hitboxes, or hurtboxes. In other words, it's purely aesthetic and doesn't change gameplay, even if it looks like it ought to.

I've read people think that inclusion in the tournament is themed for characters who can transform in some way. ...But there are lots of characters that don't transform, and some characters who do transform (such as King Bowser Koopa and Ganondorf) who are excluded. So allow me to explain, for every included character, why they're included:

Monday, March 15, 2021

Daylight Saving Time 2021: Contact Your Congresspeople for the Sunshine Protection Act Reattempt!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Quit the clock-changing! ...Here's how to affect change.

I thought we were getting close for the past couple of years on getting the United States of America to take action on Daylight Saving Time (sometimes pluralised as Daylight Savings Time). You guys had President Donald John Trump, who was “O.K.” with making it permanent (as opposed to switching from daylight and standard time twice a year). We had all-time negative opinion polling on Americans’ thoughts on Daylight Saving Time.

And then nothing happened. No change was made, despite the Sunshine Protection Act of 2019 in both the Senate and the House of the 116th Congress. It never made it out of committee. Now President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is the president of the United States, and he has a very mixed record on DST! (Though he doesn't really matter as long as he doesn't veto it.)

But a new session (117th Congress) is still a new chance, and now there is the Sunshine Protection Act of 2021 in both the Senate (S.623) and the House of Representatives (H.R.69). Like before, they're sitting in the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee and House Energy and Commerce Subcommittee on Consumer Protection and Commerce, respectively.


If you live in the United States in the states that these committee members represent (or are willing to pretend to live in those states), call them up and/or email them. Tell them to get going on voting and passing this legislation. For the record, KoopaTV supports year-round standard time as opposed to year-round daylight time, but either one of those is still better than switching between them. Here are the list of committee members and how to contact them (if you choose the email form, select “energy” or “commerce” in the topic drop-down; if you choose phone number, you probably want to call their Washington D.C. office). You might want to ctrl + f your state:

Friday, March 12, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 31: Solar Plexia Cries; So Does My Backside

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I visit my chiropractor for the first time in 2021!

Welcome back to another KoopaTV Fitness Friday! I want to be in better physical shape, so I'm playing Ring Fit Adventure for Nintendo Switch and doing some other things to achieve that goal. Throughout this series of articles, you might get to know me a bit differently than you usually would across other KoopaTV articles.

Last week, I cleared World 30, which featured the master of legs, Allegra. This week, I'll be dealing with the master of abs, Abdonis.

This week, I increased the difficulty level to 29 (from 28—the difference notably brings the number of Chair Pose and Boat Pose repetitions from 12 to 14), and I'm in World 31: Extra Fitness Lv. 204. This is a return to the setting of World 8: Tears of Solar Plexia, with Solar Plexia being a deity, pretty much, that is crying and causing world-wide rain due to her powers being stolen. At first, it was Dragaux that took them, but then we took it from Dragaux and Ring never gave it back, since her powers let us double jump starting in World 9. ...So she's still crying even now, hence the first level, Gutterflow Temple, being filled with water.


Ring Fit Adventure World 31 Solar Plexia sphere taken
Ring is a jerk.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

The “Reimagined” Pokémon Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl Imply Worse Game Design

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You all are so easily... swept up in TRAILERS.

Just in case you forgot, I already wrote last week that I'm happy that Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl are, according to the marketing, “faithful” to the original Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl games, because that's what I've always wanted whenever people were clamouring for Sinnoh remakes for the past five or more years. This includes the art style, which is being treated very unfairly by Pokémon fans, insulting it with vague terms like “it looks like a mobile game!” What does that even mean? I'm the first one to be out there broadly insulting mobile gaming, but it's not on the basis of graphics. They must not have liked the Sinnoh games’ looks to begin with. Or they're like me and have a bias against 3D models, which... alright.

But then they shouldn't like this “reimagined” trailer that digital artist millenniumloops conjured up a couple of days ago, which has apparently gone viral because multiple media outlets are writing articles about it—with GameSpot outright declaring the graphics are “improved.” The artist has described the trailer as “the way I wanted the [Sinnoh remakes] to be.” Which means they ain't happy with the way the games are turning out:


Lots of comments (and media outlets) are very supportive of this artist's trailer they made in a week, and there's nothing wrong with people being supportive and not toxic.

But there's a lot of things wrong if you think this would be a better game, based on this trailer, than the quality of Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl as games based on their trailer. “Improved graphics” (which is totally subjective and I don't agree with it!) have gameplay consequences.

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Four Superior Nintendo Character Day Alternatives to MAR10 Day

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If KoopaTV is around in March 2022, we'll celebrate these.

I understand that your culture has a common practice of dedicating special days to genocidal evil people—that's why millions of people celebrate April 20 for Adolf Hitler's birthday. (But we won't do that on KoopaTV.) And that's why millions of people are celebrating March 10 in “honour” of Mario. He's done two massive genocides in the span of five weeks (a genocide at the end of January and a genocide at the end of February) at a scale Hitler could only dream of! Yet companies like Nintendo that profit off ethnic cleansing are portraying MAR 10 as something to be widely celebrated, even putting some games on sale for 35% off. (And while Mario Tennis Aces is really fun and has fun tournaments, remember that it also features atrocities like Mario murdering Petey Piranha in a supposedly friendly tennis match.)

The basis of MAR 10 being Mario Day is because, with just a tiny bit of creative reading, you can read MAR10 as MARIO. But why give the Koopa-murdering Mario exclusive glory to that interpretation? Here at KoopaTV, we propose four new celebratory days. ...Since most of them already passed, we'll start acknowledging them in 2022:

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Enticing Your Inner Gamer

Ashley Halsey authorBy ASHLEY HALSEY - A Quick Guide On Finding The Right Genre To Play.

Gaming is a popular activity that people can enjoy on a regular basis. But which gaming genres actually turn you on?

In this article, we’ll explore gaming – why it matters, the hardware, the genres, and the skills in said genres. No matter the genre, there’s always a game for someone to play in the virtual world.

Why Gaming?

Gaming has been seen to affect the psychology of the gamer. Check out these amazing statistics:

Monday, March 8, 2021

Monster Hunter Stories 2 New Info From March 2021 Digital Event

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A new digital event with a new trailer!

After CAPCOM basically hijacked the Nintendo Direct Mini: Partner Showcase | September 2020 from half a year ago to have a spontaneous Monster Hunter-themed Direct, we've heard a lot more about Monster Hunter Rise releasing this month. But they also announced Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin for Nintendo Switch (and Steam—though it's obvious the Nintendo Switch is the primary console that Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin and Monster Hunter Rise are developed for), and we haven't really heard anything new about it since.

That changed today with the Monster Hunter Digital Event of March 2021, which opened up with a new trailer on Monster Hunter Stories 2, tales of an updated website, and additional product information narrated by Monster Hunter producer Ryozo Tsujimoto. Among the most important updates is a worldwide release date of July 9, 2021—a lot more specific than just later in 2021. ...And sooner than I was thinking.



If you're like me and only care about Monster Hunter Stories 2 and not Monster Hunter Rise, the relevant stuff ends at 7:11, but all Ryozo Tsujimoto goes into are pre-orders, deluxe editions, amiibo, and bonus costumes. I can't say I care about getting amiibo about characters I haven't actually met yet, nor would I care about those characters getting alternate outfits, because, again, I don't really have any opinion on them yet, so I'm neutral on their default outfit versus other outfits. (The protagonist is “fully customisable” in appearance anyway.)

Friday, March 5, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 30: Avoiding Allegra's Killer Workout

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If I die here, KoopaTV would go down too. I don't think you want that.

In this increasingly dangerous world (filled with multiple genocides in the span of a month), there's a pervasive mantra of “survival of the fittest.” How does one get fit? A big part of it is exercise! And the most fun way to exercise is via Ring Fit Adventure on Nintendo Switch.

Last week, I played through World 29's miniboss infestation on difficulty level 28. This week, I'm playing World 30: Extra Fitness Lv. 198. This is based off World 7: The Forest Runner, and the story there was us chasing Allegra the leg master around the world. Writing this paragraph without actually turning on the game yet and starting World 30, I'm going to assume it's going to be a bit different this time around, plot-wise. To the extent you'd say that Extra Fitness still has a plot. (It doesn't, it's just alternate dialogue.)

Speaking of alternate dialogue, on Sunday, the world opened up with Ring saying this is Allegra's homeland, and he hopes that Allegra and Dashley are getting along. Allegra suddenly appeared to confirm that, yes, she's apologised to Dashley over the bad things she did while under the dark influence, and they're training partners again. Except today (or this week). This'll be all Allegra. Dashley is busy. ...I'm sure she'll appear in a later world and I can remind you all who she is.

Ring Fit Adventure World 30 Extra Fitness Lv. 198 Allegra killer workout dialogue
Today and the whole week 30.
(Emphasis here on “killer”.)


Thursday, March 4, 2021

KoopaTV Live Reacts to Masahiro Sakurai Presenting Pyra/Mythra

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Available tonight!

Recall the announcement of Pyra and Mythra for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the Nintendo Direct two weeks ago. Xenoblade Chronicles fans consider that to be the most important news of that Direct! (Koopa Kingdom saw it as an opportunity to get revenge on Shulk.)

This morning, Super Smash Bros. series director Masahiro Sakurai took us to his house to talk about Pyra and Mythra, two Blades from Xenoblade Chronicles 2. They work like Zelda and Sheik from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, a transformation/swap character with polarising stats.

I'm KoopaTV's local Super Smash Bros. expert, and HeavyLobster is KoopaTV's Xenoblade Chronicles 2 expert, so between us two, we got this all covered with smart, live analysis to Masahiro Sakurai's presentation, embedded directly below:




Wednesday, March 3, 2021

NEVER AGAIN... Again. Goomba Genocide in Super Mario Bros. 35 "2nd World Count Challenge"

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The murder goal failed, but that's of little solace to the hundreds of millions of dead Goombas.

We at KoopaTV have taken a hard anti-genocide stance. This shouldn't be a brave, out-of-the-ordinary take, but I guess powerful corporations like Nintendo and hundreds of thousands (or millions) of gamers disagree. Look at this official Nintendo press release headline from last week: Take on Goombas in the Super Mario Bros. 35 World Count Challenge! You may also earn My Nintendo Platinum Points. You should read that as, “Murder Goombas because we'll give you useless virtual currency for doing so!” Which is also the exact behaviour we saw from corporations with other Mario-related things like LEGO Super Mario.

You may remember the 1st World Count Challenge from the end of January 2021. The goal for that was aimed at mass regicide of Lord Bowser, but by KoopaTV's estimates, also resulted in the death of a little over 257 million Goombas. We declared NEVER AGAIN to such senseless genocide... and then Nintendo wanted 350 million MORE Goombas to be slaughtered for no reason just a month later. Literally a hundred times worse than the Holocaust, but in a much shorter period of time.

So... what was the result?


Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Faithful Sinnoh Remakes Were Always My Ask

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm content for now.

Last week, the Pokémon fanbase actually got news that many of us have been hoping for for many years now: A return to Sinnoh. There's both a lore-filled prequel, and the highly anticipated Sinnoh remakes, which for now look more like Sinnoh remasters.



I wrote an article almost four years ago with the title, “It's Time For Adventure, Diamond and Pearl!” I claimed that we are “supposed to” get Sinnoh remakes “soon.” Obviously, “soon” didn't happen, and you need to have read “supposed to” as, “well it turns out that stars repeatedly aligning really means absolutely nothing.” Anyway, in that article, I pointed out several things: I wanted Super Contests to remain in the game and preferably be untouched, keep the Battle Frontier, give Arceus a big role and allow Him to catch up to the generations of power creep, and do not completely redesign all of the Sinnoh trainers (for the worse) like they did to Hoenn's humans for Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire.

You can summarise that whole article as, “Keep the game the same, and add additional Arceus content.” And it seems like that's exactly what we're getting, except the Arceus content is apparently its own entire separate videogame. (Pokémon Legends Arceus, which, if it was going to do anything else besides explore Sinnoh lore, I wouldn't care about. It just happens to have exactly the one premise I'm interested in playing through despite me being pretty sure I won't like the gameplay.)

And is that what we're getting according to the limited information we have? Well, so far Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl have been marketed as...


Monday, March 1, 2021

KoopaTV's February 2021 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think KoopaTV is finally banned by China's Great Firewall.

February 2021 saw yet another catastrophic death: Right-wing radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh, who pioneered the whole super-genre of conservative public commentary to the masses. He created a whole new blueprint of one-to-many interaction. Without Rush Limbaugh, the likes of Herman Cain (may Herman Cain also rest in peace) would have never been relevant. And without Herman Cain, KoopaTV wouldn't exist. Basically, our godfather's godfather passed away in February, and that's always a bummer.

Still, Rush Limbaugh produced a very large body of archived work, and his influence over culture has been deeply embedded. Speaking for this website, we don't need him around in order for us to keep functioning. We know what we're doing and how to do it well. And... do it well we shall, as shown in the rest of this newsletter

Top Five Recommended Experiences of February 2021


The most important part of KoopaTV are the experiences published in the form of week-daily articles. All of them are worth your time and emotional investment, but here are the top five from February (which only had about one or two less articles than usual despite being two or three days shorter than normal months):
  1. BALAN WONDERWORLD is how you don't make a 3D Platformer (or any other game) — Ludwig tried out the BALAN WONDERWORLD demo on the Nintendo Switch, and it's really bad. He writes how it's everything wrong with 3D platformers.
  2. Abandon Ship! Not a Projectile? Excluded from the Ballistic Barrage Event Tourney!? — In certain circumstances, KoopaTV is a fighter of injustice. This article is about the blatant inequality of how Super Smash Bros. Ultimate characterises what is and what is not a projectile.
  3. VIDEO of Nintendo Cloning Human Earth Girls?! — This may seem like a minor thing now, but this is Earth-changing stuff. Clones in the human world. ...With technology from (or at least showcased by) a videogame company.
  4. Bowser's Shulk-Bash Backslash Backlash — The Koopa reaction to Mythra and Pyra coming to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate... revenge on Shulk!
  5. What I Think About the Project TRIANGLE STRATEGY Debut Demo (Survey Q&A) — If you wanted to know about the Project TRIANGLE STRATEGY demo, or its survey, this is the article for you. It's a promising strategy RPG experience!

There's probably something to be said that the month started with a harsh look at a SQUARE ENIX game demo, and ended with a relatively positive look at another SQUARE ENIX game demo.