You Could've Written Real Switch Reviews On Nintendo's Website!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - As opposed to those fake ones from the eShop. But... not anymore.

Once upon a time, being a couple of days ago, Nintendo opened up a reviews section for all of the released Nintendo Switch games available on Nintendo.com.

The only other reviews that have existed for Nintendo are those stupid 3DS eShop reviews where you give a rating out of five and then say if it's for core gamers or everyone, and if the gameplay is casual or intense. Quite useless, and core + intense and everyone + casual tend to strongly correlate, so consider those one metric. ...Oh, and the written reviews back on the Nintendo NSider Forums, which were sometimes featured if written by Nintendo's hand-picked group of Sages.

For an incredibly limited amount of time this week, if you played a Nintendo Switch game for two hours or more, you could write a review. The screen looked like this:

A five-star rating, a variety of tags, and then actual COMMENTS!
(Unfortunately, text formatting like line breaks did not appear in the actual review, so everything was a wall of text.)

It isn't an unstructured review like you might find on KoopaTV if you look in the reviews section (you're very unlikely to just accidentally come across a review here because they are quite rare), but the presence of a headline and comments gets it a lot closer to the forum post review format that was on NSider that is, quite frankly, a lot more useful.

And now they have removed them. Why? Well... blame KoopaTV staffer Rawk.

KoopaTV Live Reacts to Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We chose it for our Pokémon Day activity.

For whatever reason, The Pokémon Company International declared today to be Pokémon Day. We thought there would be some big announcement coinciding with this or at least something interesting to talk about, but no, it's pretty underwhelming.

Since we have some kind of obligation to do something with Pokémon Day per trying to get attention on social media, we uncovered the most notable part of today is that they are showing Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You! for free at pokemon.com for a LIMITED TIME ONLY. Since limited time only might end tomorrow, we decided as a staff to watch it, and because of deadlines, we'd publish our experience as a reaction log instead of writing out a review.

You might remember this as the Marshadow movie we foreshadowed in our Sinnoh article from last year.

Joining you on the reaction log experience are myself and RawkHawk2010, along with Kamek who is...going at his own pace.

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to the PyeongChang 2018's Closing Ceremony

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Olympics was underwhelming, but will it close with a bang?

It feels like we just covered the PyeongChang 2018 Opening Ceremony, and now we have the Closing Ceremony. This is the big moment that we've been leading up to since... well, Friday where we said we'd cover this.

Due to scheduling confusion and conflict, this log is just me and Rawk, with Wendy making a cameo appearance sometime during it. Still, that's enough KoopaTV staff reaction power to judge the likes of South Korea and NBC, and the always-omnipresent Thomas Bach.

CURLING Up in Kirby...oh and the Olympics end this weekend and that had Curling too

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Assuming we can actually find out the time of the Closing Ceremonies.

Well, this weekend, the PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics will end. Thank you for choosing KoopaTV as your source for 2018 Olympics coverage. You know, between the Olympics Opening Ceremony and...well...that's it. But man, what a reaction log that was.

We'll be doing a reaction log for the Closing Ceremony as well, though we have one problem. We don't know when the hell it'll actually be broadcast. Thanks a lot, NBC. According to CBS Sports, it'll broadcast at “6 a.m. ET OR 8 a.m. ET (tape)”, and that capitalised OR makes me feel like no one knows what the hell is going on.

CBS Sports's video on that page is about the sport known as CURLING, which is a sport I know nothing about, but apparently it's some kind of meme and it got a respectable third place in the recent GameFAQs poll of favourite winter Olympic sport to watch. 

Update 2/24/2018: They will re-air the Closing Ceremony (with NBC commentators) at 8 PM Eastern, and the United States won the gold medal for Men's Curling.


Per CBS, the United States is actually in the finals for Men's Curling this year, which is significant and rare. I won't watch it.

But you know what is Curling-related, significant, and something I will not just watch, but play? Kirby Star Allies, which features multiple Curling Friend Abilities. Check these out, courtesy of Nintendo Minute:

Don't Touch (Violent) Videogames, President Trump

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If you do that, you will literally be no better than Crooked Hillary as a Senator.

It should sort of be a no-brainer that this article would be written on KoopaTV. There was a shooting at a high school in Parkland, Florida. Lots of kids (seventeen) died. People are blaming guns. Other people are blaming mental illness and the FBI for knowing this guy was a threat and ignoring their tips. Not many people are actually blaming the shooter himself, a creep named Nikolas Cruz. (No relation we know of to former videogame competitor and current United States Senator Ted Cruz.)

Originally I wanted to write a non-gaming article about the shooting, but President Donald John Trump changed KoopaTV's plans, as usual. 

For whatever reason, the President of the United States thinks videogames might have something to do with the situation. I'm not going to say that he's BLAMING videogames, because all he did was ramble one sentence about them and then provided several more about movies and how they need a rating system (that already exists). Here's his gaming-relevant quote, excerpted from a CNN video that lacks context and is titled that President Donald John Trump is blaming videogames for violence because CNN is FAKE NEWS:

Phoenix Wright in Puzzle Fighter; Ace Attorney Anime Dub Part 2; Secret eShop Sale?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ace Attorney news collection.

Hey, if an overall irrelevant news item gets its own article yesterday, then THREE irrelevant news items for the most important franchise on this site should get one, too. It's Ace Attorney!

There was an Ace Attorney eShop sale at the start of February

We're supposed to cover all of these. Whoops. Well, literally no one promoted it. Not Nintendo, not CAPCOM, no one. How am I supposed to know if there is an Ace Attorney sale on the 3DS eShop if no one mentions it? (Maybe if I read news sites?) Would've been really nice to know since Kamek could've gotten on-sale Ace Attorney on his birthday since the sale was February 1. Don't know how long it lasted, but it's no longer there. Meanwhile, the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Franchise Sale last year started late February around this time. And it got promotion!

Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney was 25% off ($14.99 from $19.99), which represents its first-ever eShop sale since it was released on Nintendo 3DS back in November 2017. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies was 66.67% off ($9.99 from $29.99) and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice was 50% off ($14.99 from $29.99), which are at parity from their all-time discounts back in Cyber Week 2017. Unlike Cyber Week 2017, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy was also on sale, also at 50% off ($14.99 from $29.99). It's been at 50% forever now, which is the maximum it's been discounted.

You know what else happened at February 1 for Ace Attorney but WASN'T used as a tie-in to promote this sale?

Friend Bounce Returns to Kirby Star Allies!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's unclear if Nintendo knows that the Friend Bounce ever existed.

Today, Nintendo of America announced some news about Kirby Star Allies via this tweet:

Kirby helps his pals get to the next level with the Friend Bounce in #KirbyStarAllies! This Friend Ability helps your allies high jump and lets them strike enemies from above! https://t.co/KkT4JRAjln pic.twitter.com/SJMlZBRs0P

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) February 20, 2018

You see that, right there? They proper noun Friends, but refer to them as allies. What are these guys actually called?! Anyway, here Kirby apparently carries around a portable trampoline made out of a spider web, and the friends/allies/helpers/partners can jump off that and be able to get a good lift from it with some invincibility/damaging frames.

Much like Kirby having Copy Ability-based Helpers to assist him coming from Kirby Super Star, the Friend Bounce concept also comes from there. Observe this video filmed by me from Kirby Super Star Ultra:

So why does the header question if Nintendo knows this feature comes from another game, and what is with that video's quality?

Details on the Nintendo Labo Kits!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Do these more details generate more Labo interest?

I told you in my Nintendo Labo announcement analysis article that I don't particularly care about Nintendo Labo, but I don't hold anything against you if you care. (Normally, I'm more judgmental.)

At the end of last week, apparently to distract from their Bayonetta re-re-release, Nintendo released three (3) new detailed, longer-form videos on the Nintendo Labo. These answer a lot of questions I've had about what exactly you'd be getting if you commit to the Labo's purchase prices, and the value the Labo imparts on its players and builders.

I think the most logical way to present you my thoughts is to just go through each video one-by-one and give commentary. I've embedded each of the videos under their respective header, of course. It's the least I could do. As you watch the videos, don't pay attention to how the Nintendo Labo music is basically a remix of the gym theme from No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle.

Bayonetta On Switch; Bayonetta Off Smash?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - She's out of control, and now on a Nintendo Switch near you.

Last weekend's Michigan-based Super Smash Bros. For Wii U major tournament, Frostbite 2018, featured a lot of Bayonetta in the top ranks. I'd know; I spent that weekend watching the tournament. Here was the top 8:

Source is PG_Spike of Panda Global Stats.

 
Meanwhile,  today Bayonetta and Bayonetta 2 were re-released (or re-re-released), now for the Nintendo Switch. A lot of Super Smash Bros. fans were quite unhappy when Nintendo announced Bayonetta, Bayonetta 2, and the new and upcoming Bayonetta 3 at The Game Awards 2017 (I was upset just having to watch The Game Awards at all). Many were mad ever since Bayonetta won The Smash Ballot via an asterisk, and then were mad when she finally became purchasable for $5.99, which they saw as pay-to-win.

Less than a month later, the developers released a balance patch targeted at nerfing Bayonetta. And yet... the Bayonetta metagame has furthered much farther than I anticipated after her release, back when I thought Ryu had more combo potential than Bayonetta. Now Bayonetta is unanimously considered the best character in the game. People want her banned, and they personally hate her, to the point where they are upset that her series is staying alive.

Reviews in Review: Get Rid of the Number Score?

By LITTLE FRUINI - Numbers don't tell the full story. On a scale of up to 10, do you agree?

Numbers can be used for everyday activities: the date, the time, and of course, the score. As it’s the new year, it’s typical to look back on the many successes and failures of the year, and of course, I can’t neglect reviews, the very things people look back to give a product a number, typically between 1 to 10.

These scores given can easily be outdated in a matter of time. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is pretty much known for having highly-rated scores. What point am I trying to make out of this? Its Metacritic score is a fantastic 97! This pales to a score within the 70s, which should be considered the average for video games. However, a 97 is not a 100, so there should be some games with a higher score…

Kirby Star Allies... Friends... Helpers?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What are these guys called?

If you have noticed a greater concentration of Kirby-based content in the past month(s) or so on KoopaTV than in the past, it's not a coincidence. We're considering Kirby Star Allies to be the next big Nintendo Switch game we'll collectively indulge in. We're totally impressed by it, and it's poised to break my long stint of supporting the Kirby series but not actually buying its games.

I have one problem with Kirby Star Allies so far, and it's a big one: what are the partners called? Are they Allies, as the game's title suggests? Are they Friends, as the name of Kirby's Friend Heart ability suggests? Or are they Helpers, as Kirby Super Star has previously called them?

FRIENDS... in ALLIES. With the Friend Heart ability.
They proper-nouned Friends there, so... that could be it.

I'm telling you, this is really important. One of the best new modes from the remake of Kirby Super Star on the DS, Kirby Super Star Ultra, was Helper-to-Hero, and it got it so right. Note the name of the mode.

If Kirby Star Allies can't figure out what to call Kirby's partners, then they won't be able to make a name for a mode where you can play as one and go through an arena. If there's no name, there's no mode. If that mode doesn't exist, then Kirby Star Allies will be missing a huge opportunity as the game that is having partners make a grand and important return since Kirby Super Star.

From videos the Japanese site has released, they have a lot of solo adventuring where you are playing as a non-Kirby character. I hope that's a real thing and not just for demonstration. I want them to flesh this out!

I didn't want any Valentine's Day themes in this article, but...
YOU CAN PLAY AS CHUCHU! (...Or Broom Hatter with ChuChu.) YAY!

This article doesn't appear to have much substance to it, but there is a lot if you think about it. In any case, Kirby Star Aliies is sure to continue to get attention at KoopaTV as writable things about it occur. Ludwig may or may not be jealous of Kirby's ability to make friends of his enemies so easily, since Ludwig only seems to be able to keep his enemies as his enemies, and then his friends start to hate him, too.


Kirby Star Allies has now been released, and it seems like the likely answer is that they are called Friends.
Ludwig wrote a review of Kirby Star Allies here. The terminology for partners isn't clear, but that's a small issue.

What Does NVIDIA SHIELD Say About Nintendo's China Strategy, and GameCube/Wii Virtual Console?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (Spoiler alert: nothing.)

Following Nintendo's financial results for the nine-months-into Fiscal Year Ending March 2018, they held a Q&A with their laughable investors.

There was a question about Nintendo's business possibilities in China. Nintendo president Tatsumi Kimishima gave a non-answer about how China is big and important but that Nintendo products “are unavailable there at the present time.” Kimishima then expressed that Nintendo would like the Chinese to experience Nintendo products the way other countries do.

That brings us to a request we got back in December 2017 to write about the interesting Nintendo-related product release in China. I think Kimishima's non-statement is just what I was waiting for to make an informed article.

Money Is More Important Than Love: Splatoon 2 Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The pro-Love, anti-Money team relies on tired canards.

For Valentine's Day 2018 (a day that I have no intention of acknowledging on this website when it happens this week, though the other staffers may have something else in mind), Nintendo of America has decided to make the Splatoon 2 Splatfest for February 2018...

MONEY VS. LOVE! Which is more important to you?
By the way, it occurs on Saturday, February 17 2018.

If you got your Splatfest information from certain non-KoopaTV places, you may recall that for Halloween 2015, in the original Splatoon, Japan had the exact same theme — though the graphics for money and love were different, and the order was Love vs. Money instead of Money vs. Love. Guess they wanted to go out of their way to make sure Callie and Marina got Team Love, while Marie and Pearl got Team Money.

If it will affect your decision, let me tell you right now that Team Love managed to beat Team Money in that Splatfest. Money won the Popularity vote (with 53% vs. Love's 47%), but Love got more Wins with 51% to 49%.

That said, this will be North America and not Japan (they have different value systems), and the scoring system for Splatoon and Splatoon 2's Splatfests are completely different. 

If you want to see Money vs. Love in the United States among Nintendo fans, then the most relevant poll is the Wii's Everybody Votes Channel poll conducted on August 2007. Love was deemed more important by 79.1% of respondents, with Money only getting 20.9%. That was right before the Great Recession, so maybe Money got a dramatic buff in the decade since.

As for me, I've always been on Team Money. I'll tell you why, and why the Team Love guys got it wrong. 

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to the PyeongChang 2018's Opening Ceremony

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm watching for Cappy; the others for attractive exotic Olympic girls.

We cover the Olympics on Earth because of the disturbing intersection of Earth and our world that has been going on, and the Olympics are the most high-profile event the entire world takes place in. It's attracted the attention of our nemeses, Mario and Cappy, in the past. That makes watching the Opening and Closing ceremonies of the Olympics a very value-added activity for KoopaTV.

Part of what is great about our reaction logs is that you get to see the immediate and oftentimes brilliant analysis from your favourite KoopaTV staff members (and all five of us appear in this log) on-the-fly with no filter, and probably in a way you would not have thought of by yourself.

The log includes our geography knowledge, the frustrating ordeal of having to watch this via NBC (versus the BBC and the CBC), geopolitical analysis between South and North Korea, the creepiness of targeted advertising, our opinion on female athletes' looks... and... well, you'll have to get through the whole thing to see if Cappy got involved. Plus, a lot of videogame references. A lot.
 

Yoshiaki Koizumi Talks Toad's Top and Mario's Love Life

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I have an issue with the questions and answers...

It looks like Nintendo decided it would be a good time for some softball interview questions with Super Mario Odyssey producer Yoskiaki Koizumi. Just for fun, I guess. Little did they seem to know that they would cause quite a stir.

Take a watch below, as Mr. Koizumi continues to be captured by Cappy as he has been in all of the other times we've seen him. Cappy just has a lock on Japan, doesn't he? Yeah, don't try to convince me that Japan is such an awesome place.

This thumbnail is especially horrifying:

Rawk's Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Experience

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Ace Attorney, Versed by Mii!

Hey dudes.

After being moderately impressed by Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies but then finding myself so totally lost in Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney that I stopped during the butler chapter and would return every few months only to make it past another two lines of dialogue, my 2013/2014 foray into the franchise probably didn't last as long as Ludwig would have hoped. What happened to the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy I bought on sale three years ago with the intention of starting? What happened to the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice I bought over one year ago during release week that I also had the intention of starting? Well...I dunno, actually. Had I really been that turned off by that one obnoxious Layton witness who wouldn't stop playing his stupid minstrel guitar while testifying? (Because he can totally take that G-string and shove it.)

A combination of three factors finally got the ball rolling, in which I booted up the series and played through THE ENTIRE LOCALIZED THING in less than half a year. I was basically inspired by 1) the Ace Attorney anime opening and my covers of it, 2) Ludwig telling me to do something with The "Miracle" Never Happen for Trump's impending doom (in which the "Miracle" actually DID happen), and 3) Trump's dismissal of James Comey from the Federal Bureau of Investigations which got me in the mood for some legal drama.

Once things started they never really fell off, and thanks to Miiverse I'm now in possession of hoards of archived commentary (covering the original trilogy, SoJ, and parts of whatever else was Miiverse-able) that I can now subject the entire world to! (MWAHAHAHAHA!) I call it "Rawk's Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Experience." We at KoopaTV think it's a good implementation of a Miiverse post archive, and shows what happens when Nintendo doesn't pull an NSider and delete everyone's shit. After all, I probably spent just as much time treading through Miiverse's gruelingly-slow UI on my non-New Nintendo 3DS as I did on my non-bannable NSider posts.

Oh yeah, and after at least half a year of me thinking Funimation canceled/forgot they were doing it, Part One of the Ace Attorney anime English dub finally landed last month. You should go watch it somewhere real fast so that you can have certain voices in your head as you read. Courtesy fragment:

So without further ado, part one of Rawk's Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Experience!:

Sleep Kirby With The Best Pillow You'll Ever Own

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - All about Sleep Kirby.

While it looks like Nintendo does not want to write a press release for this result like they did the first round, it is official: Sleep Kirby has won Round 2 (the final round) of the 25th anniversary Kirby Copy Ability poll, after finishing third place in Round 1.

Weird meme people apparently managed to coalesce and make this result happen, which I see as a referendum on Eating vs. Sleeping. Kirby represented Eating in that (there's a Kirby-Jigglypuff picture, and Jigglypuff is literally wearing Sleep Kirby's hat), but if the fans prefer when he's sleeping, then perhaps Kirby should reconsider his identity.

Sleep Kirby is now playable in Kirby Battle Royale, sporting a pillow-based moveset that is supposed to evoke a pillow fight. In Kirby's normal games, this pillow didn't exist and all Sleep Kirby did was put on a sleeping cap and harmlessly sleep in place, taking a nice rest.

Kirby's newfound pillow expertise leads to a word from KoopaTV's newest sponsor:

Mario & Sonic NOT at the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Winter Games

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The North Koreans are, though, which requires an update from us.

The fact that Where Is Mario & Sonic at the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Winter Games? is the second-most read KoopaTV article of all time tells me that you all really, really want to know why “Mario & Sonic at the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Winter Games” does not exist.

The PyeongChang 2018 Olympics start this week, with the Opening Ceremonies this Friday, and you bet KoopaTV will live-react to it like we did for the Rio 2016 Opening Ceremonies. Unless there will be a last minute change, you should now refer to it as “Mario & Sonic NOT at the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Winter Games.”

Earlier, I had accused Cappy, through Mario, of trying to start a nuclear war on the Korean peninsula and East Asia, by stirring up a lot of bad blood with all of the nations by causing Dennis Rodman to act stupidly in North Korea. Since then, North Korea will be allowed to participate in the PyeongChang 2018 Olympics, and there will even be a unified Team Korea Women's Ice Hockey team. Why is North Korea allowed but not Mario (and Sonic)?

The Billy Mitchell MAME MEMO

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No matter what the evidence says, Billy Mitchell is still my hero.

Today, a MAJOR memo that demolishes the “evidence” behind the much-debated actions of a heavily respected institution dropped:

The Billy Mitchell MAME memo, published for all to see in the Donkey Kong Forum. (Not to be confused with Donkey Kong series fan forum DK Vine.) 

For those not in the know of one of the three only good things to come out of the Video Game Awards 2013 (VGX 2013), Billy Mitchell is an amazing arcade game high scoring professional, notable for getting the first perfect score on Pac-Man. He also has records in other games as well, including Donkey Kong. There was a whole documentary of it (one of the best movies of any kind of all time, King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters), and it continued ever since.

Well, Billy Mitchell was portrayed as a villain in the documentary (see embedded video below for why he's so awesome at that role, and is an awesome person in general that I want to be like), and people have long believed that he was using controversial/rule-breaking methods for his high scores, which brings us to the memo.

KoopaTV's January 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Welcome to KoopaTV in 2018. How do you like it?

We have officially ushered in 2018 here at KoopaTV. Good start, right? For those who haven't been with us since our founding years ago, KoopaTV is a wonderful place on the Internet ran by Koopa Kingdom's finest. We publish awesome gaming articles and art, and reward your participation in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program. Yup, we are all-in on you, the reader, being a part of this special place. That'll be more clear as you check out this newsletter of what happened in January.

Oh, let us know what you think of the new text-decorations for the headers. They're supposed to make it more obvious that they all have anchor text you can append to the url to link specifically to that section, if you hover your mouse over it.

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Articles of January 2018

If you HAVEN'T been reading all of KoopaTV's articles as they've been published (look here for all the ways you can make sure you don't miss our articles!), then this top-five section gives you the KoopaTV staff's personal recommendations. Here they are in chronological order:

1. New Years Celebration in New Donk City — The people of New Donk City are celebrating the new year 2018, as well as Pauline's re-election. But there is Crazy Cap-related trouble afoot...
2. Saying eSports Are Sports is NOT a Liberal Conspiracy!  — A fill-in talk show host to the Rush Limbaugh radio program, Todd E. Herman, made statements connecting the eSports are sports movement to the liberal plot to take away your liberty. We counter this notion.
3. The Big Bang Theory Is TERRIBLE! (Action vs. Comedy Splatfest) — We side with Team Action in the January Splatoon 2 Splatfest, on the basis that The Big Bang Theory is associated with Team Comedy.
4. Mirror Kirby 3DS Home Theme Released! ...Oh, and Kirby Battle Royale — Kirby Battle Royale has released, but we'd rather talk in great detail about the origins of the Mirror Kirby 3DS home menu theme instead.
5. The Merits of Having Callie vs. Marie Determine Splatoon 2's Story Mode — A deep analysis into how the multiplayer Splatfest component of Splatoon directly affected the single player part of Splatoon 2, and how this was genius.

All articles on KoopaTV are worth reading, believe me. And now for a NEW section to the newsletters: