Disgraced Game Developer Yuji Naka Faces Guilty Verdict, 2.5 Years in Prison, and 1.24 million USD in Fines

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm satisfied.

Quick recap of my favourite story of 2022–2023: Yuji Naka, who is the bad game director behind mega-flop BALAN WONDERWORLD (regrettably published by SQUARE ENIX) and an ex-member of the Sonic Team, was arrested in November for insider trading he did while at SQUARE ENIX based on privileged information that Aiming Inc. would be the developer of Dragon Quest Tact. Then Yuji Naka was arrested a few weeks later in December because investigators found out he also insider-traded shares of Ateam Inc. based on their development of the upcoming FINAL FANTASY VII: The First Soldier.

Basically, those games existing are big deals and big breaks for those developers because they're based on big brands, and if you know who the game's developer is before it's announced, you can buy a bunch of shares pre-announcement while the share price is low, and then sell after the price pops up once their involvement in the highly anticipated games is made known.

I actually saw BALAN WONDERWORLD displayed at a GameStop earlier this week for $20 USD.
Digitally, it sells for $40 USD. But I also guess GameStop has a whole bunch of used/pre-owned BALAN WONDERWORLD inventory they want to get rid of for bargain bin prices.
They might as well put those copies in a landfill like it's E.T. all over again.
(By the way, I bought Kirby's Return to Dream Land Deluxe while shopping. See? I did follow up.)

Yuji Naka couldn't cut it as a game director in the modern era, so he tried using his access to confidential SQUARE ENIX information as his way to get ahead in life. He didn't have a real defence for himself, and he already confessed in court to the facts described above. So, where does that leave the judge?

KoopaTV's May 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the second-to-last one of these newsletters.

Let us dive into headlines and I'll spare you the introductory paragraph.

KoopaTV's End of Content Notice

I hope you haven't missed this notice published on KoopaTV's 10-year anniversary. Unlike most of the other years where we just pat ourselves on the shell, this anniversary article provided valuable information: KoopaTV will stop publishing new content after July 3, 2023 (which will be the June 2023 review newsletter linked at the bottom of this very article once it exists). For reasoning on why, read that article and then come back here.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of May 2023

This was a very tough thing to just pick only FIVE of the MANY amazing KoopaTV articles published in May 2023. Here is my chronologically ordered attempt:

1. True, the Advance Wars Trilogy's Story isn't Serious — FAKE NEWS Kotaku evaluated Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp based on something it wasn't trying to be. In fairness to them (and because it's an issue KoopaTV cares about), we evaluated their evaluation.
2. KoopaTV's Failed Attempt at Building THE MIGHTY BOWSER — Ludwig and Witch Princess attempted to build the LEGO set The Mighty Bowser in front of the Koopa King himself. As our review reveals, it didn't work out as planned.
3. The Surprising Similarities Between Sticker Star and Breath of the Wild — The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was built on the foundation that Paper Mario: Sticker Star created. This article goes into great depth about it.
4. The Mighty Bowser VERSUS The Bootleg Bowser — This meme-filled article compares the costly but high-quality The Mighty Bowser LEGO set with the cheaper but bootlegged Bowser brick sets you can buy online.
5. Ash Ketchum Failed His Torterra as a Pokémon Trainer — For KoopaTV's final World Turtle Day article, we discuss that twerp Ash Ketchum and how he was a terrible Pokémon Trainer for his Torkoal, Grotle, and Torterra.

Everything on KoopaTV is worth reading! Even if it's not in this top five (or prior newsletters’ top fives), you ought to still check it out!

Splatoon 3 v. 4.0.0 & the Sizzle Season 2023

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think it's overall underwhelming, but we'll see what Challenges are like.

Three months ago, Splatoon 3 entered version 3.0.0 and the Fresh Season 2023. It's now time for a new version and a new season:

Between now and the end of August, there's a new season!

Up-front, the best update are the three songs from Yoko and the Gold Bazookas: Ska-Blam!, Three-Horn Circus, and Rockagilly Blues.

I think my favourite is Rockagilly Blues, but it's hard to say. I really like the genre! Anyway, the highlights in the 4.0.0 patch notes is that there is a new catalog, a new stage (Barnacle & Dime—which is awful and suffers from the problems that most of the new Splatoon 3 maps do about linearity and lack of flanking), a returning stage (Humpback Pump Track, which I've always liked), new weapons (including alternate versions and two totally new weapons, the S-Blast '92 and the Painbrush; the Painbrush is a pain to fight against), a new Salmon Run stage (Jammin' Salmon Junction), and new Tableturf Battle cards to go along with the new weapons.

I've tried to use the Tenta Sorella Brella which I'm thinking should be an upgrade from the normal Tenta Brella (Ink Mine over Squid Beakon and Trizooka over Ink Vac), but I haven't won a single match with it.

Pokémon HOME 3.0.0—Connectivity with Scarlet and Violet is Here, BUT...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...The company seems rather quiet about it. Is Mudsdale blocking them?

After straining the definition of early 2023 and spring 2023, The Pokémon Company International announced on May 18 that connectivity between Pokémon HOME and Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet would finally be a thing on May 23. ...And then a day later, they reversed that to be sometime in the future. That's not just a social media goof-up, either: a whole pokemon.com article also reflected that. That same article at least acknowledged connectivity with Pokémon Brilliant Diamond, Pokémon Shining Pearl, and Pokémon Legends: Arceus, which TPCi had earlier wiped all mentions of from the Pokémon HOME website approximately around November 2022.

However, as of publishing, the connectivity is here (May 30, 2023), with many trainers all over connecting Pokémon HOME with the Paldean games, including Pokémon from the Hisui or Sinnoh-based games. Not every Pokémon is allowed to be transferred into Paldea at this moment, however. Consult a website like serebii.net for the list.

But...there is something very strange about this situation, given how this article opened.

If Toadsworth IS Dead, Good Riddance to the Anti-Koopa Bigot

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is my idea of a Memorial Day article?

When was the last time you thought about Toadsworth? Toadsworth is (or was) Princess Peach's attendant, a very old chap who was first seen flying with Princess Peach (and that awful red-hatted plumber) to Isle Delfino.

Some people out there believe that Toadsworth is “probably dead.” According to Toadsworth, his lifespan decreases every time Princess Peach is kidnapped, so it's quite possible that he actually is dead by now. But I can't confirm that, since I haven't seen his corpse. He really hasn't shown up in any new event in a very long time, though. Not since the Pi'illo Island incident almost a decade ago. I don't miss him. In fact, he probably hates me, though I haven't met him personally. I think he has something against Koopas in general.

Take a look at the following chemistry table excerpt taken from Mario Superstar Baseball. If you're unaware, Mario Superstar Baseball has a chemistry rating of 0 to 100 for each character for every other character. There is some gameplay application; you need 90 or more chemistry to have "good chemistry" (for faster fielding throws if you throw to a buddy, and stronger charged hits when your buddies are standing at the bases) and 15 or lower for "bad chemistry" (if you throw to an enemy, the ball may be mis-thrown; there is no batting consequence). That means chemistry values between 16 and 89 are superfluous, but they exist anyway. chemistry also matters in team formation when determining the number of Team Stars your team begins with, but that only matters in relation to your captain character and how the team members relate to your specific captain; so it's still superfluous for everything else.

The embedded Copy of Chemistry tab excludes Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Wario, Waluigi, Monty Mole, Birdo, Pianta, Noki, and Dixie Kong, since they aren't very relevant to Mushroom Kingdom-Koopa Kingdom relations. (Though if you're interested, Toadsworth's chemistry with them are 63, 62, 24, 23, 51, 69, 72, 73, and 61, respectively.) If you want the full table, go here.

The Super Mario Advance Releases are the Superior Versions of Those Games

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Same applies for the Donkey Kong Country Game Boy Advance games, though those aren't in the news.

This week, Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack subscribers (and associated Family Group free-riders) now have access to Super Mario Advance, Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2, and Yoshi’s Island: Super Mario Advance 3. This is on top of Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3 being available since Game Boy Advance titles have been available since three months ago.

Fundamentally, this is the third time you can play Super Mario Bros. 2 across Nintendo Switch Online emulators. The first is on NES as Super Mario Bros. 2, the second is on SNES as part of Super Mario All-Stars, and now here is the third as Super Mario Advance on the GBA. Super Mario Advance is undoubtedly the best version of it, and it is also the greatest-changed of all four Super Mario Advance titles.

All of the Super Mario Advance games have improved sound effects and voice effects, and there is better spritework put into them. (But not that much better—my sprites are still bad, for example) Super Mario Advance now has five Ace Coins scattered in all twenty of its levels, meaning there are one-hundred collectible Ace Coins. This greatly benefits the timer-less exploration experience that differentiates Super Mario Bros. 2 from Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World, and brings Super Mario Bros. 2 closer to the masterpiece exploration sidescroller experience of Yoshi's Island (or Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3). It also disincentivises skipping parts of some levels with Luigi's massive Jump stat by bringing alternate reasons to play besides level completion—collection.

Can't Shake Off FOAMSTARS's Splatoon Vibe, BUT...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Is it really still “fresh”?

There was a very memorable game from yesterday's PlayStation Showcase 2023 that is worth talking about in further detail, and it's not Spider-Man 2. It is FOAMSTARS by SQUARE ENIX, described as “the fresh new 4v4 online party shooter” releasing for PlayStation 5 and PlayStation 4 at an undetermined date. You will use...

“foam to build terrain, creating slippery surfaces to surf around the arena at high speed, help defend from enemy attacks, or create vantage points to take out opponents. And most importantly, to foam up the opposition! Join the foam-blasting frenzy!

Initially, I thought it was just Splatoon-esque in aesthetic right when it was just in the cutscene part with the diving and shooting and having a cute female-lead main character, but then it very quickly became Splatoon-esque in everything else, too. Like sound effects, weapons and how you navigate. I mean, you could also describe Splatoon as a “fresh new 4v4 online party shooter”, and that's pretty much how Nintendo themselves described the first Splatoon on the Wii U. (Nevermind that Sony's also-announced “Project Q” that streams from your PlayStation 5 to a handheld device is also similar to a Wii U.) I will say that FOAMSTARS looks like a much more inspired Splatoon knock-off that already appears to have more effort into it than Sepia Go! was.

PlayStation Showcase 2023 | KoopaTV Live Reaction

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They either lied to regulators or they suck. Let's see which.

It isn't quite June yet, but I suppose it is close enough for big mid-year videogame announcement streams. First up, it is Sony Interactive Entertainment—not with a mere State of Play, but with a grandiose SHOWCASE for the whole year.

The only KoopaTV staff member present during this live reaction log is myself, but I'm all you need. Let's start:

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9z0atV8VDk

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Apparently, this is going to be OVER AN HOUR long, so I might not know what I'm getting myself into.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: According to Sony's testimony to regulators, they don't have any games worth playing and they are dependent on Call of Duty to make sales. Let's see if that's actually true.

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: STAY TUNED

Ash Ketchum Failed His Torterra as a Pokémon Trainer

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He definitely wasn't Pokémon Master material. (And still isn't.)

After waiting for most of World Turtle Day 2023 for The Pokémon Company International to do something for the special day, it really does seem like they went and celebrated World Turtle Day a whole month early in honour of Terapagos and its little buddy. Whatever, KoopaTV will still stick to what the calendar says, since World Turtle Day is very special, in honour of turtles, tortoises, and Koopas everywhere.

Turtles, despite their natural protection on their backs, are also common targets for harm. Mario has a big role to play in that. But for World Turtle Day 2023, I'm going to write about a different world like I said I would a month ago: The Pokémon world, and specifically Ash Ketchum's Torterra (once a Turtwig). His Torterra, as a Grotle and Torterra, were notoriously mishandled by the twerp, and I have a lot of issues with it.

If you observe Ash's usual battle style, he really likes trying to overpower his opponents with speed, momentum, and the occasional clever novel use of the environment or his Pokémon's sometimes overlooked traits. His Turtwig was notable for being able to run around, especially inspired by Gardenia's even faster Turtwig. But when his Turtwig evolved into Grotle in Aiding the Enemy, Grotle could no longer run around, and Ash was completely ignorant as to why. Ash failed to adapt his battling style to fit the reality of his newly evolved Pokémon and its different physical characteristics.

The average weight of a Turtwig is 22.5 pounds.
The average weight of a Grotle is 213.8 pounds, or 9.5 times heavier.
(Technically, Grotle has five base speed faster than Turtwig.
It's also notable that Turtwig's 31 base speed makes it the slowest starter Pokémon; that 31 is also the lowest base stat out of any starter Pokémon for any stat.)

IQ Bell Curve, Ukraine, Russia, and World Peace

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Why Miss USA and Donald Trump know better than FAKE NEWS CNN and the military-industrial complex.

On May 10, 2023, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump went on FAKE NEWS CNN for a wide-ranging town hall with favourable voters in New Hampshire, moderated by combative CNN employee Kaitlan Collins. There is a lot of chatter about things like the former President being indicted and arrested. But in terms of the substantive discussion I care about (especially as a foreign national), there is this five to six minute discussion about Ukraine, Russia, and the war between them and how Donald Trump would like for there to be a peace deal, which seems to really bother CNN's nasty, stupid, and rude Kaitlan Collins. (The embed below starts at the relevant point and stops when it stops being relevant.)

Whether or not Donald Trump is correct about being able to make peace in 24 hours isn't that important. What is important is his approach—similar to his theoretical approach between Israel and the Palestinian territory when he was a candidate in 2015 (see below). (His actual peace plan as president abandoned his own principles, which is likely because he had the wrong people working on it who didn't share his own values.) It's been a foolish and widely held stance in America's two main parties and its mainstream media that, since the United States of America is a global superpower, it can just dictate what it wants to the rest of the world, and the rest of the world will just obey and accept it and enjoy being dictated to. Rather than America making demands that are clearly one-sided, America would work best as a neutral power between the conflicting nations. Otherwise, why would both sides agree to sit down and negotiate?

For some years, many years ago, more members of the Democrat Party believed in being the peace party, while the Republican Party was more into military adventurism. Those roles have somewhat swapped, especially when Russia is involved in the conversation, because the Democrats have become completely deluded when it comes to the nation of Russia and its authoritarian ruler, Vladimir Putin. They're further deluded into believing their own debunked conspiracy theory that Donald Trump is a “Russian agent.” Ironically, that perception makes Donald Trump more qualified than any other American presidential candidate to be a neutral negotiator that would get Russia to the negotiating table. But while he wants to negotiate for peace, Democrats seem to believe risking a nuclear war with the end goal of regime change in Russia is their goal. They want Ukraine to “win” and Russia to “lose” and be severely punished for its aggressive posture. They want to look like a tough guy, punching the bully in the nose. That is a different goal than peace. Observe:

Single-Player Mode and Online Support: The Super Smash Bros. Brawl Game Concept

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I commentate about Masahiro Sakurai's look-back on Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

If Masahiro Sakurai declined Satoru Iwata bullying him into directing a Super Smash Bros. title for the Wii, Nintendo would have just ported Super Smash Bros. Melee and give it online play. Hm, perhaps that would've been a better outcome. In any case, since Masahiro Sakurai felt compelled to agree to Iwata's request, he made a new game, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and so, we now get to learn the game concepts behind Super Smash Bros. Brawl per Sakurai's YouTube channel:

Twice in the video, Sakurai says he has stories to explain for another time (the job offer and the team composition, as well as how Super Smash Bros. might've been discontinued), so this shouldn't be the last we hear about Super Smash Bros. Brawl's development from Sakurai. Still, he described two of three things people mostly associate with Super Smash Bros. Brawl: It's the game with the most extensive single-player mode (Adventure Mode: Subspace Emissary) as well as the first Super Smash Bros. title with online multiplayer. The last thing people associate with the game is its very floaty and slow gameplay, which Sakurai also touches on. Let's talk about those things in the order the video does.

European Commission Approves Microsoft Acquisition of Activision

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How does it feel to pass a hurdle only after you got a Game Over?

In a rare example of good news coming out of the European Union, the European Commission (EC) has approved of Microsoft acquiring Activision Blizzard King. This follows how last month, the United Kingdom's Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) blocked the deal. What does this mean? ...Well, unless Microsoft wants to just stop doing business in the UK, they still don't get to acquire Activision. Remember, the UK isn't part of the European Union anymore, so it's not like the EU actually has a say in what goes on in the UK. (Or vice-versa.) Though they both have a say in what Microsoft gets to do.

Like the CMA, the EC doesn't see a threat to the console market if Microsoft were to acquire Activision Blizzard King, and they believe that the likes of Call of Duty would still be available on the PlayStation (which is the market leader in Europe). Even if Call of Duty were to disappear, Sony has enough resources to be able to compete against that. I'm glad that they agree with me on this sensible point. The EC also acknowledges that Activision has no plans to make their games available on subscription or cloud services without Microsoft forcing them to (which could only happen if the acquisition went through), contrary to the CMA just fabricating said plan up to justify rejecting the deal.

Like the CMA, the EC did see trouble in the sky for the cloud game streaming service market, believing that Microsoft acquiring Activision Blizzard would make Microsoft too dominant a leader in this nascent market (that is, as of now, pretty much irrelevant). However, unlike the CMA, the EC accepted Microsoft's proposed remedy of making Activision games streamable on competing cloud service providers platforms, and that also means that competing cloud streaming service providers have that licence to offer those games. The CMA refused to consider this remedy for hysterical reasons over how it'd be implemented and regulated, but the EC was fine with it. The European Commission has agreed to supervise an independent person to monitor this, which the UK was too lazy to do (despite it being at Microsoft's expense). The EC also provided this confusing graphic of their own creation:

The Mighty Bowser VERSUS The Bootleg Bowser

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Imagine getting a bootleg for a gift.

In these tough economic times, maybe you can't afford to blow your organisational or personal budget on a $270 2,807-piece The Mighty Bowser LEGO set like KoopaTV's staff did; click this for our review of it. (Click here for the official set.) Your choices are then to find alternate ways of entertainment and challenge-tackling, or to turn to bootlegged versions of The Mighty Bowser. Fortunately (???), there are multiple options out there that are significantly cheaper.

Of course, since they're bootlegs, they might not be at the same quality or feature levels you'd get from buying the official $270 LEGO set. For example, no interaction with the LEGO Super Mario stuff. But maybe you just want Bowser. Perhaps this DG Dreams 1358-piece set for only $80 (currently 25% off at $60) would be of... interest? It's about the same size as the real The Mighty Bowser, and it comes with the stand with two towers. Here is a comparison of DG Dreams Bowser versus LEGO Bowser using official product photos:

Left: The Bootleg Bowser
Right: The Mighty Bowser

Why Discord Removing Four-Digit Discriminators is Bad for Nintendo Switch Owners

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Well, it's bad for ME, at least. I don't know what to do!

Recently, Discord announced that they will change how Discord usernames will work. This will allegedly be rolling out soon. When is soon? “In the coming weeks” to be notified of when you can update your account, and then “the course of several months” to actually do it, with the earliest Discord adopters going first. I made a Discord account in 2017 because of AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) ending. That means there are millions of people who've been using it before me, but that's still before the majority of its users. I haven't received any notification of when I'll be able to upgrade my username.

The gist of the change is that rather than having a name and then a number sign with four digits afterwards (which are randomly assigned among the four-digit numbers not already in use... unless you pay Discord to be able to change them) that allows for ten thousand people to have that same name, you'll just have one unique username. You send friend requests to that unique username, and you can also have a different display name (which doesn't have to be unique compared to literally every other Discord user) that shows up when you actually talk to people. This is generally how every other service works. Think like Nintendo Network IDs on Miiverse. My NNID was PrinceOfKoopas (I'm the only Nintendo Network ID holder named PrinceOfKoopas), but my display name was Ludwig (of which there were many posers).

Here is my problem: I use my Discord tag (Koopa#5969... for now!) as my Nintendo Switch profile name for the explicit purpose of getting random people I play online with to send me a Discord friend request. It actually works, because people recognise that a name with a number sign with four digits following it is a Discord username. It's distinct to Discord.

Nintendo's Financial Results Briefing for Fiscal Year Ended March 2023 Q&A Analysis!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They are most interested in the Switch's successor, as well as The Super Mario Bros. Movie.

After Nintendo announced how their financial results for their fiscal year that ended March 2023 went—which was pretty much as expected—they had to field questions from their stock analysts. And that means... I get to analyse their seven questions and Nintendo's (President Shuntaro Furukawa's) answers! You can read the translated question and answer session at this link. What follows are my thoughts, and this time, I think I've written some intelligent things (for what might not all be intelligent questions).

Question 1: What impact will The Super Mario Bros. Movie's success have on Nintendo's future IP expansion initiatives, including revenue projections?

Furukawa says he and Shigeru Miyamoto are pleased about the fans’ overall positive reception to The Super Mario Bros. Movie, including stories of super-fans who had watched it several times. Nintendo will report the revenues of the movie (which are in the NEXT fiscal year that ends March 2024, since the fiscal year just ended in March 2023, and the movie released in April), and Nintendo does see money from that along with Universal, but what they really see is the potential in people buying Nintendo Switch consoles and a bunch of Super Mario videogames as a result of watching and being excited around the movie. Maybe that's how New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe has re-outsold Ring Fit Adventure.

Nintendo does plan to “pour [their] efforts into a variety of visual content”, and it seems like they are looking for other non-game opportunities to expand selective IP in, “with the goal of continually invigorating our core dedicated video game platform business.” Well, you know what could really use some re-invigorating and would be excellent fodder for movies? F-Zero and/or Punch-Out!!. But I think Nintendo wants to get the most bang for their movie investment buck, which means there needs to be several sellable items associated with a new thing they make a movie of. F-Zero and Punch-Out!! have zero, unless you really want to stretch and say people will pay for a Nintendo Switch Online subscription to play Punch-Out!! on the NES... or upgrade to an Expansion Pack to play F-Zero X on the Nintendo 64. But “several” means “more than one”...

On the Nintendo Switch Online bit, Nintendo IS observing and appreciates those numbers, citing a non-specific “slight rise in activity for classic Mario titles that can be played through Nintendo Switch Online.” And maybe THAT means that if you go and play Paper Mario right now on the Expansion Pack emulator, they'll count that as people wanting more Mario games, not people wanting more classic JRPG Paper Mario games. (See that comments section discussion on Nintendo Switch Online emulator telemetry.)

It turns out this isn't the last question on The Super Mario Bros. Movie, though:

Ten Years Completed of KoopaTV... but this anniversary is where it ends

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An explanation of His Majesty's royal decree and what that means for KoopaTV.

Thank you, if you've been around KoopaTV for the ten years it has been established. Yes, KoopaTV launched on May 12, 2013. It's now May 12, 2023. I suppose it's unlikely anyone has been around since Day 1, but, eh, congrats if you've been close enough.

You may be wondering why KoopaTV has Round 50 (May 1 2023 to June 30 2023) of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program be its last round. That would be because KoopaTV will not continue after that point. I'll get into the reasons throughout this article, but essentially, it's because the big man that we even have this site for, King Bowser Koopa, no longer believes it is a good use of Koopa Kingdom's resources to continue to operate KoopaTV.

By the way, this is the real King Bowser Koopa. With real scales, not a Trojan cardboard fake (like the last time “Bowser” demanded KoopaTV end). We confirmed this as the Big KoopaTV Staff Meeting in April, and that's when we got his official orders. That also means that we have finally ended our Sierra Leone office lease. So... why is this happening? A lot of the problems are around product-market fit.

KoopaTV's Live Reaction to Nintendo Treehouse: Live's The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Gameplay

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This counts as our launch coverage, right?

Given their upcoming non-presence at E3 2023 (since E3 2023 won't exist), Nintendo of America apparently still wants their Treehouse division to be streaming gameplay footage of their most important game(s) of the year. For 2023, that's The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

It's unclear what I'll be doing during E3 2023 week, but since I was prepared to watch streams of Nintendo Treehouse: Live during then, I might as well as prepared to do that a month sooner than expected with this stream. And, hey, MAYBE it'll get me to change my mind and want to buy The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom! ...I doubt it. But I'll give it a chance. The rest of this article will be my live (textual) reactions to Treehouse's stream, with occasional screenshots.

The Surprising Similarities Between Sticker Star and Breath of the Wild

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Paper Mario: Sticker Star is the proto-The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

I have been muttering about how I believe Paper Mario: Sticker Star (developed by Intelligent Systems and published by Nintendo) and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (developed and published by Nintendo) fundamentally share similar game design philosophies for several years now. With The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild finally having its sequel, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, releasing at the end of this week, it's time for me to finally and fully share my thoughts about how Paper Mario: Sticker Star is the gameplay prequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. It was Nintendo's try of a non-linear limited-durability-weapon game four to five years before Breath of the Wild came out.

For the rest of this article, I'm going to discuss the gameplay similarities between the two titles, and then move on to the narrative similarities. (The story is greatly influenced by the gameplay structure.) Of course, the two games do have differences, as you should expect from a spiritual sequel, so I end the article by discussing those. It is also notable that both Paper Mario: Sticker Star and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild are radical departures from what their respective franchises have developed a reputation for.

The Core Design Similarities

Designed with non-linearity

While everyone is well-aware of how The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild starts out—you wake up on the Great Plateau, acquire all of the Runes (Magnesis, Remote Bomb, Statis, Cryonis), and jump off with the Paraglider, and then you get to decide what direction you go—not as many people consider Paper Mario: Sticker Star as a predecessor to this.

Nintendo's Results For Fiscal Year Ended March 2023

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Are we now entering swan song territory?

It is the fun part of the year where Nintendo has completed their fiscal year (abbreviated as FY23, which ended March 31, 2023) and is now reporting on how that went. And the top-line results, year-over-year, are all worse than FY22. (We talked about last year's results last year. See the link below the italicised footer.) FY22 was, itself, a year of decline compared to the year before that, and Nintendo said from the beginning that they'd expect FY23 to be a year of further decline. Less profit, less sales, higher expenses across the board.

Compared to the initial consolidated financial forecast made one year ago for how FY23 would turn out (but note that forecast has changed several times since then), Nintendo was spot-on or better regarding their sales and profit figures. That said, they did expect to sell 21 million hardware units and 210 million software units, and they actually sold 17.97 million hardware units and 213.96 million software units. For FY24, they are now projecting they'll sell 15 million Nintendo Switch units and sell 180 million software units. Their basic strategy remains unchanged: Continue with some new titles, sell more of their already-released games, and hope more people are like Masahiro Sakurai and purchase multiple Switch consoles in their household.

They did sell a lot of a few new games, though, like Pokémon Scarlet, Pokémon Violet, Splatoon 3, and Nintendo Switch Sports. But just not as much first-party games as, say, the year before or the year before that. For this year, their plans are based on The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (including its OLED model), with a side of Pikmin 4 and downloadable content for games like Pokémon Scarlet, Pokémon Violet, and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Maybe Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp will sell well. And Metroid Prime 4 is still TBA.

Nintendo Live 2023 Has the Worst Possible Registration System, Bypassable by Winning a Splatoon 3 Championship 2023 Qualifier Event

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You could also win a Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Championship 2023 Qualifier.

Did you get excited over last month's news of Nintendo of America announcing a Nintendo Live 2023 event—said to be a Nintendo celebration for the fans, but there will NOT be product announcements—in September 2023 in Seattle?

Well, now it's time for all of that excitement to be sucked out of your mind, as Nintendo has announced new and despairing details. Nintendo Live will be held from Friday, September 1 to Monday, September 4, at the Seattle Convention Center. You can register for FREE tickets (which requires a Nintendo Account holders 18+; you can also register as a Family Group) starting on May 31... and tickets will be distributed randomly by lottery. That's right... if you want to attend, there is no guarantee that you'll be able to attend. Odds are, you won't be able to. If you want to schedule some time with friends ahead of time in attending the event, that'll be rather foolish, since it likely will be for nothing. Especially because your lottery ticket will only be for ONE day. That probably speaks to how much content will actually be at Nintendo Live 2023, but it also would be done to be able to fit more people.

There is another detail: At that same timeframe in the same Seattle Convention Center will be PAX West. PAX West and Nintendo Live 2023 will be co-located events, but they will have different ticketing systems. A ticket to Nintendo Live 2023 will not get you into PAX West 2023, and a ticket to PAX West 2023 will not get you to Nintendo Live 2023. However, PAX West ticket-holders will have the opportunity for an additional lottery-based system to also get a free ticket to Nintendo Live. That way, if you do plan on going to Nintendo Live, you should plan on going to PAX West as well. You can actually purchase tickets to PAX West (and guarantee you'll be there as opposed to relying on RNG) and take advantage of their hotel blocks. I don't understand why Nintendo wouldn't just charge for tickets and have the highest bidders win. They might even recoup the costs of the event that way.

Ah, but there are three skill-based opportunities to get in Nintendo Live 2023—and these will have you there for the duration of the event as opposed to just ONE DAY:

KoopaTV's Failed Attempt at Building THE MIGHTY BOWSER

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Alternatively: Two people with no LEGO experience try building one of the most complicated sets of all time.

While most of KoopaTV's staff were in our Sierra Leone headquarters between April 19 and April 23 this year for a big meeting, we had some non-meeting fun activities. The most fun of those? We permanently blew KoopaTV's current and future budget buying the $270 LEGO The Mighty Bowser set that released last year. Was that worth it? Read this review to find out.

First of all, disclosure. Only two people on KoopaTV's staff actually worked to try to build The Mighty Bowser (set #71411) (ages 18+): myself and Witch Princess. Despite my frequent writing about LEGO Super Mario as a topic, neither of us have LEGO set building experience. To compensate for this, LEGO also shipped us the 4x4 Off-Road Ambulance Rescue (set # 40582) (ages 6+) as a free gift—normally a $20 value. I think it's because they thought an incentive to buy such a large purchase would be cool.

We treated the ambulance as a tutorial level in being able to read LEGO's enclosed instruction books. The ambulance had two bags in it, and we finished the whole thing in an hour (29:48.35 on bag one, and 27:07.50 on bag two) without having issues. (If you're wondering what's with the times, we decided we'd time ourselves for The Mighty Bowser, because no other review on the Internet—and we looked extensively—gave a time for how long it took them to construct the entirety of the set. We decided we'd be the first ones out there to report this information.) This was the wake-up call that The Mighty Bowser would take a very, very long time to build, so we would end up putting some of the meetings off and dedicate the entire Friday to building The Mighty Bowser. Still, despite the time investment, we felt confident that we were competent enough people that we could be successful, even if it would take a long time.

True, the Advance Wars Trilogy's Story isn't Serious

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Seems like some are just figuring that out, but it doesn't make it less true.

In a story that is probably related to KoopaTV's article yesterday about how Nintendo has blacklisted awful videogame outlet Kotaku, Kotaku writer Sisi Jiang, who according to people who actually read the website often writes about identity politics (they love to discuss Chinese and queer issues), wrote an article, “The Advance Wars Remake Is Tactically Satisfying But Narratively Toothless”. In this article, Sisi Jiang reveals itself to be unfamiliar with Advance Wars games up to this point. For example, Sisi believes that damage calculations are “gambling”, even though there is a fairly consistent (besides an occasional luck stat) set of damage calculations that all player versus player theory is founded upon.

Sisi doesn't believe that Advance Wars's gameplay mechanics are as “profound” as they ought to be because of a perceived dissonance between the tactical complexity and the game's excuse plot. It's a well-known fact among Advance Wars fans for the past two decades that the trilogy (Advance Wars, Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising, and Advance Wars: Dual Strike—note that Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp only offers the first two of those games, as the name suggests) has a very weak nonsense plot. Personally, I've never understood how the different countries work among the continents (Cosmo Land, Macro Land, Omega Land). Orange Star, Blue Moon, Ye–... Gold Comet, and Green Earth are all countries, and they seem to have presences on all of these continents (under the same name as whichever continent is where their home base continent is, which is never made clear), which suggests a lot of colonialism going on. Some COs are native or stationed to different continents. I dunno.

But Sisi's point is less about lore and more about the fact that the Commanding Officers (COs) don't care about the lives of their units. Neither the protagonists nor antagonists are all that concerned. That is also something that has long been observed among series fans, especially with missions like Rivals at the end of the first Advance Wars, which implies that COs Andy and Eagle are throwing away the lives of their units just for a personal rivalry to see who is better than the other, just for fun. That's lead fans to believe that units aren't actually real people but are basically robots, or maybe predeployed units are real people but units built from factories/airports (what's that?)/(sea)ports are robots. But the games don't go into those details.

Kotaku is Deservedly Blacklisted By Nintendo

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - As enemies of the people, Kotaku should be blacklisted by every other company, too.

Props to Ubisoft and Bethesda for doing this a long time ago. Terrible gaming journalism outlet Kotaku has a long history of poor behaviour towards game publishers, such as leaking very unannounced game information. Kotaku defends their behaviour with “it's our job to be good videogame journalists and serve our readers well, not to be mouthpieces and allies for the corporations.” (They also claimed to have “millions of readers” back in 2015, though I can't disconfirm that they don't. I just think it'd be unfortunate to be one of those millions.)

I have a very tough stance against leakers, though Kotaku not only loves their own leaking, but they also like to spread others’ leaks on unsuspecting readers. (Even when it's actually FAKE NEWS.) That damages their reader base. It doesn't help them. Anyway, one of the most popular games to leak right now is The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. While you won't find any leaks of it on KoopaTV, it's pretty easy to find them on Kotaku. This is one of the few ways Kotaku can actually cover The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom right now, because Nintendo has blacklisted the outlet from having a preview/review copy of the game:

If You Want a PlayStation 5 in 2023, You Can Get One at MSRP

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That took a while, but I admit it's progress.

Two and a half years ago (November 2020), Sony Interactive Entertainment released the PlayStation 5 to market. For quite some time, it has experienced low supply and high demand at its $500 base price point, and potential customers found themselves at the mercy of scalping resellers that jacked up the price to something closer to what it should've economically been the whole time.

In 2022, Sony decided to raise the MSRP (the manufacturer's suggested retail price, though Sony appears to call it the RRP, or recommended retail price) of the PlayStation 5 everywhere on Earth... except for the United States of America. At the time, the PlayStation 5 was STILL unavailable at the normal retail outlets. Sony cited rising worldwide inflation rates for their price increase, ignoring that the United States Dollar was also suffering inflation and thinking that no one would appear to notice that. I opined that Sony should've raised the price in America, and it should've been a higher price to begin with. Well, about that...

KoopaTV's April 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We have VERY big news to share, so read the entire newsletter. Carefully.

Hey, it's May!

Good job to you for surviving this long. Good job to us, too. It's felt like a rough whirlwind, yeah? Well, we have a number of items to share in the newsletter that focus less on April 2023 and more on things going on after May 1, 2023, but I'm still going to review April, too. Here's some proof:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of April 2023

Even though we had three days off from April 2023, we also had an additional day on (Saturday, April 1) that wouldn't normally happen, so I'm comfortable going with a top five instead of a top four. It's certainly a tough competition even at five:

1. The Short History of the Disrespected DK Rap — In basically every opportunity the DK Rap has had since 2001, it has been shafted and disrespected in some way. The Super Mario Bros. Movie leaving Grant Kirkhope's name out of its credits is just one of a long line of examples.
2. LEGO Super Mario Character Pack Series 6, Wendy O. Koopa in the Creativity Toolbox, and Pom Pom on a Balloon Ride — Ludwig plays catch up on wave 6 of the LEGO Super Mario series, and in the process, uncovers several storylines that further prove his on-going point that Mario is a vicious and evil man who must be stopped.
3. Alex Jones Is Wrong About Mario Hallucinating Koopas — American talk personality Alex Jones is correct that Mario is a bad guy, but in the process of making his point, he stated that Koopas are a product of a drug-induced hallucination on Mario's part. KoopaTV takes great issue with that claim.
4. The Truths About the FAIRtax — After listening to the media and politicians lie about the plan, Ludwig writes several truths about the FAIRtax, a national consumption tax plan in the United States, based on common objections and questions he has encountered.
5. SEEK POWER! Power Versus Wisdom Versus Courage Splatfest! — The upcoming Splatfest asks you which you should seek of power, wisdom, or courage. The choice to KoopaTV is clear: MORE POWER. Ludwig explains why.

Hm, tough competition didn't do it justice. April 2023 was a SPECTACULAR month for KoopaTV content. I'm (still) impressed by my own output. Hopefully, you are too. Everything, even if not listed above, is worth reading. There were several things I wanted to include but couldn't! The above list was created in chronological order of when it was published, by the way.

SEEK POWER! Power Versus Wisdom Versus Courage Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Might makes right! Force makes action!

In a no-brainer idea for a Splatoon 3 three-way Splatfest theme, and supposedly to celebrate The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom releasing in a few weeks, next weekend's Splatfest (May 5 to May 7) will ask...

Which do you seek? Power, wisdom, or courage?
I am reading this prompt as asking what do you want more of than what you currently have.

Now, I've seen more than one person out there say that they aren't a fan of The Legend of Zelda, or that they hardly know her. Well, this theme isn't REALLY about the series. This is NOT Ganondorf versus Zelda versus Link. It is Power versus Wisdom versus Courage, and those are universal themes that you can look inside yourself and reflect on what you want more of. In fact, the Anarchy Splatcast discussion between Shiver, Frye, and Big Man didn't go and reference The Legend of Zelda besides that line about the Triforce Throwdown. As a result, even though this is technically a sponsored Splatfest (which I historically dislike), it doesn't feel like one, and it's actually a pretty good question. Shiver wants more power for making her wishes come true. Frye wants more wisdom so she wouldn't get lost. And Big Man...um...?

Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp and Pokémon Brilliant Diamond / Shining Pearl: Two Faithful Remasters With Different Fan Receptions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It bothers me how different the fanbases are.

Congratulations to Advance Wars fans on their long-awaited release of Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp, which released on April 21, 2023. (That year is important!) It is a mostly faithful high-definition remaster of Advance Wars and Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising (2001 and 2003, respectively), both from the Nintendo Game Boy Advance, developed by the team at WayForward, who wouldn't normally handle Advance Wars stuff. Intelligent Systems trusted WayForward to do a good job with it. WayForward brought a new art style. Advance Wars fans are mostly happy.

Compare and contrast that to Pokémon fans with their long-awaited release of a Nintendo Switch version of Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl (two Nintendo DS games released 2006–2007), also known as a multi-year cry for “SINNOH REMAKES!”. Pokémon Shining Pearl and Pokémon Brilliant Diamond released on the Nintendo Switch on November 19, 2021. These remasters were developed by the team at ILCA, who wouldn't normally handle Pokémon game development, but GAME FREAK trusted them. ILCA brought a unique art style. Unfortunately, Pokémon fans are mostly unhappy with these releases, with the unnotable exception of myself.

What happened for these different fan receptions to two sets of products that have a similar design philosophy and respect for the originals? Let's discuss.

Competition and Markets Authority (UK) Blocks Microsoft Acquisition of Activision

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Based on... cloud gaming? Huh?

The Federal Trade Commission in the United States isn't the only overzealous and biased regulatory authority on Earth. There is the United Kingdom's Competition and Markets Authority, too. I praised them in ending predatory auto-renewal practices on the console manufacturers’ subscription products. But now I'll condemn the CMA for condemning Microsoft's attempted acquisition of Activision Blizzard King on the basis of supposedly protecting innovation and consumer choice in... cloud gaming.

The CMA had two concerns: Number one, Microsoft owning the Call of Duty IP would make the Xbox too OP compared to Sony's PlayStation. (Those stand for intellectual property and overpowered.) And number two, Microsoft's lead in the cloud gaming market would become insurmountable with the power of Activision Blizzard King. It turns out that Microsoft has successfully convinced the Competition and Markets Authority that Call of Duty wouldn't suddenly boost Microsoft's third-place out of three position in the console market to an overwhelming dominant player. (It also helps that Call of Duty will be available on Nintendo platforms, but only if the merger goes through, because Activision wouldn't do that if they were in control of their own destiny.)

However, they are definitely of the belief that the “fast-growing cloud gaming market” would be harmed, mainly based on the false belief that Microsoft would only allow Activision Blizzard King's titles on Microsoft's own Xbox cloud gaming service, when Microsoft has already signed an agreement with NVIDIA for some of those titles to be on NVIDIA's cloud service (NVIDIA GeForce Now), too. The CMA also stated that they have evidence to support that Activision, if they're not acquired, will put their games up on everyone's cloud platforms in the future. If that evidence exists, we haven't seen it, and all other statements and history and evidence indicates that Activision is NOT interested in doing that and would rather keep their games off anyone's cloud service. Activision themselves have stated that directly to the CMA, stating that cloud gaming is antithetical to Activision Blizzard King's growth strategy and the limitations of the medium would be bad for games like Call of Duty that would fall apart under the latency and loading times common to cloud gaming. Activision prefers local processing. Basically, Microsoft is forcing Activision to participate outside of its comfort zone by acquiring it. ...Or, that would happen, if they weren't being blocked. The CMA observed a few rejected pro-cloud brainstorming internal documents and has mistaken that for Activision's true policy and plans going forward.

CAPCOM Golden Week Sale of 2023

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Lasts two weeks!

The CAPCOM Golden Week Sale began yesterday and ends May 7, 2023, on the Nintendo eShop. Golden Week, if you're wondering, is a series of consecutive Japanese holidays that is supposed to start on April 29 and end on May 5. It's allegedly the longest stretch of time that the Japanese get work off. Don't expect your Japanese coworkers to be at their office, but do expect to get some good deals on their videogames in North America and Japan. (Sucks if you are in Europe, where this sale doesn't seem to be in effect.)

Sorry, Mega Man, but I had to get Phoenix Wright and Ryunosuke Naruhodo in the image somehow!

The last time CAPCOM put their catalogue on sale on the Nintendo eShop, it was at the end of March 2023 when the 3DS's eShop was about to close, and they put all of their 3DS games at $3 each. Well, the 3DS games aren't around anymore, so this CAPCOM Golden Week Sale only has the game publisher's Nintendo Switch titles on sale. They appear to be at the same sale prices as the sale last month, with what I believe is the sole exception of Capcom Fighting Bundle going from 50% off ($30 total) to 58% off ($25 total). That one is the Capcom Fighting Collection (the one with all of the Darkstalkers on it) PLUS the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection. That fits all of your retro fighting game needs.

I stuck a screenshot of the Ace Attorney Turnabout Collection, which is also a compilation of compilations that fits many (but not all, thanks to three of the mainline games now not being purchasable on Nintendo platforms) of your Ace Attorney needs. It's 50% off ($30 total), or $5 cheaper than separately buying its also-50% off components the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy ($15) (contains the first three mainline Ace Attorney titles) and The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles ($20) (contains the two spin-off/prequel The Great Ace Attorney games). You do not need to have played the Ace Attorney Trilogy to enjoy or understand The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. Top tier products on the Switch.

There are several other interesting titles on sale right now that you may wish to check out, too. I'll talk about another one of those on Friday's article!


Round 49 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program ends next week, and the winner will receive a 10 USD Nintendo eShop gift card code. You should try to win that, since that money can go a long way to buying these on-sale games. It could also help you pre-order Ghost Trick. Ludwig stopped being a hypocrite and actually did so.


CAPCOM had a Golden Week sale that lasted over a week in 2022, as well. Though KoopaTV's article about it at the time was focused on attention whores.
Splatoon 3 is also on sale.

Terapagos, Shell-ebration Pokémon Week, and Avalugg is a Turtle-like?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Guess this is a several years-late correction.

The highlight of The Pokémon Company International's product plans in 2023, besides the Unova Sitting Cuties set available on the Pokémon Center website (featuring Bouffalant!), is Terapagos coming as paid Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet downloadable content called The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero, specifically Part 2: The Indigo Disk. Terapagos is a beautiful shelled creature filled with lots of colour that is likely very tied to the Terastallization phenomenon in Paldea. But not only is Terapagos a thing, but this smaller and mysterious unnamed (as of now) Pokémon is also a thing, and it is also very turtle-y, including being able to withdraw into its jewel-esque shell when it senses danger.

Terapagos and its... little buddy that doesn't have a name.

Right when TPCi announced the little guy, they also announced a “Pokémon Shell-ebration on Pokémon TV” and started posting gifs and photos on their Twitter account. The episodes involved Squirtle, Wartortle, and Blastoise (Here Comes the Squirtle Squad, The Pokémon Water War, Can't Beat the Heat, The Right Place and the Right Mime); Torkoal (All Torkoal, No Play); Turtwig, Grotle, and Torterra (Gettin' Twiggy With It, Aiding the Enemy, The Fleeing Tower of Sunyshore!); Tirtouga and Carracosta (A Restoration Confrontation! Part 1, A Restoration Confrontation! Part 2); Turtonator (A Fiery Training Camp Trick!); and Chewtle and Drednaw (The Climb to Be the Very Best!). TPCi also discussed Spe-shell turtle-like Pokémon Trading Card Game cards, which include most of the Pokémon I just listed, but also Shuckle. But it's not news that Shuckle should be in that group.

However, there is news on one Pokémon, which also results in a BIG KoopaTV article correction.

The Truths About the FAIRtax

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Answers to some common (often bad faith) objections.

The start of this calendar year had probably the most press and political attention put on the FAIRtax plan (promoted by Americans for Fair Taxation) in many years, as part of agreements made with the ascension of the House of Representatives speaker Kevin McCarthy. (You may remember him getting memed on for his endless votes to get enough Republican representatives to agree to choose him as the Speaker of the House.) One of the things that certain Republicans wanted was a vote on the FAIRtax, which is in legislation this session as H.R.25 - FairTax Act of 2023.

The FairTax Act calls for a national consumption tax of 23% of new retail sales, which includes both goods and services. That tax will abolish the existing income, business, payroll, capital gains, and estate taxes. It will also abolish the abusive Internal Revenue Service, with states collecting the sales tax from businesses and then remitting it to the Treasury. (And both the state and the business get to keep 0.25% of the money as a thank-you, referred to as a “taxpayer administrative credit”.) The rate is chosen to be “revenue neutral”, which means that it is supposed to theoretically raise the same amount of money as all of the taxes it is replacing. If that means the government ends up in a deficit, that's because it was going to have a deficit anyway due to spending too much. Each qualified family will also get a “family consumption allowance”, also known as a sales tax rebate (it's a “prebate” in that you get the money at the start of the month before you spend it) equal to the monthly poverty level (as already determined by the Department of Health and Human Services) multiplied by the sales tax rate. The prebate will be provided by the Social Security Administration, which are already pretty decent at giving people money they're entitled to.

Over the past several months, I've seen a lot of questions about the FAIRtax plan, as well as a lot of outright lies from the media (including from Semafor, which is the “Project Coda” I mentioned over a year ago as the supposedly unbiased media outlet founded by a former FAKE NEWS Bloomberg CEO—in other words, the guy founded a group just as bad as the group he managed and left, who could've guessed?) and politicians (politicians lying and smearing their opponents? Who could've guessed?!). I'll address some of those questions and lies in this article.

Thoughts on Eggstra Work, From a Gold Medalist

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the opposite of Big Run.

From April 14, 2023 to April 16, 2023, Grizzco Industries held a... teambuilding activity on Sockeye Station. You and up to three friends could have flew to Sockeye Station to go through up to FIVE waves of Salmonids appearing, which is up from three waves normally. (Low tide, a Griller wave, a high tide, a Goldie Seeking wave, and then a normal tide.) Your score is calculated by the number of Gold Eggs you collect, which are obtained by defeating bosses, as normal. This time, you use the same weapon on all five waves, as opposed to switching, and you got to choose your weapon. There's the Splattershot with the Booyah Bomb, the Splat Charger with the Killer Wail 5.1, the Blaster with the Crab Tank, and the Splat Roller with the Inkjet. Very basic weapons.

Here is the neat part: It's the same run every time. The tides are the same, the special events were the same, every spawn point of the enemies was in the same place at the same time and the same enemies. It's all predetermined, and the objective is for you and your team to optimise performance. Speaking of the team, you could only play with people on your friends list and/or in the same Pool, introduced in version 3. That means it's pretty likely you'll keep playing with the same people until someone gets tired.

Shiver and Frye mention friends and a team because Eggstra Work wasn't open to playing with random people.
And... playing with random, uncoordinated people would be conducive to performing poorly in this.

Everything I just mentioned about Eggstra Work makes it the exact opposite of the luck-based Big Run, which is the OTHER special Salmon Run mode brought to you by Grizzco Industries. Even the circumstances are different. While Big Run is a large-scale invasion that the Anarchy Splatcast will interrupt its programming to tell you about because an area you'd normally battle on is being overrun, Eggstra Work is a low-stakes affair that Grizzco Industries needs to buy time on-air to get you to know about. As for the results afterward, Anarchy Splatcast will air them as a news story, while the results of Eggstra Work aren't on Anarchy Splatcast at all (since why would Mr. Grizz pay for that?). You'll need to go to Grizzco Industries to a bouncing bulletin board to check then out. Or see this screenshot: