KoopaTV's June 2023 Review Newsletter — The FINAL Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You'll want to read this entire newsletter if you care even a little about KoopaTV!

I don't want to write this newsletter, since I know what it represents (and you should click that link if you don't understand why it's the last newsletter), and it's not something I like.

For more information on that, read to the end of this newsletter.

Don't miss KoopaTV's new videogame, Fire Withdraw!

You might not have expected KoopaTV to publish a videogame on the Sunday before this newsletter was to go out. But it happened! It's a very rare and fortunate event. ...And you ought to go play Fire Withdraw, too, instead of just marveling at its existence. You can play Fire Withdraw directly from KoopaTV for free, even. (Play it on a PC.)

The answer to the second question should be “Yes” if you focus hard enough.
But you gotta prove it!

Hm, I'm just now reminding myself that I (or multiple people) need to go update the TV Tropes pages for both our videogames and our website as a whole.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of June 2023

June 2023 was pretty much the only month of KoopaTV's ten-year history where I had a plan for what to publish on every day of the month. However, FakE3 events kept popping up that needed a Reaction Log, so that bumped off content that will now just never exist. ...So it's hard to pick just five articles from a month that had a lot of high-intent works, several of which I've wanted to write for YEARS. Here's my attempt (that ends up omitting all of those Reaction Logs) in chronological order:

1. Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl Resolved Many of Diamond & Pearl's Release-Era Issues — This article exists on the theory that the issues identified near when a game is initially released are more authentic problems than those that crop up several years later, which are prone to outside influences and unrelated biases. Based on that, Ludwig compared the noted negatives of Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl a decade and a half ago with what Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl did, to try to mend the latter's poor fan reputations.
2. The Mushroom Kingdom Hyperinflation and its Problem for the Koopa Clan — The monetary mismanagement caused by Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom causes great damage to the Koopa Kingdom, and that's why Koopa Kingdom's interventions are justified.
3. Pokémon Stadium Kids Club Minigame Tier List — There are nine minigames in Pokémon Stadium—which are the worst and which are the best? And why?
4. Mario's Subcon Dream Comes From Childhood Memories — There is a very close tie between Mario dreaming about Subcon compared to his memories as a baby, which this article explores.
5. Left-Handedness Deserves More Recognition — The left-handed witch, Witch Princess, discusses her difficulties operating in a world and gaming ecosystem designed for right-handed people.

Hm, that's overwhelmingly biased towards the last week of June. In times like that, I'll say that every KoopaTV article is worth reading and checking out. And you ought to do just that. Especially since there won't be any new articles coming out—so you'll be able to much more easily catch up than ever before! Now... let's move on to the user-generated parts (and afterwards, a big list of KoopaTV prize winners, and concluding thoughts you'll want to see):

Play Fire Withdraw: A Free Videogame By KoopaTV!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The next generation of one-button gameplay, with a very important moral lesson.

Check below (under the page break, so it doesn't try to load every time someone sees the home page) for a new videogame you can play right from KoopaTV. ...On a PC with a keyboard. This is KoopaTV's first new videogame since 2017! And this is my first completed project developed using Scratch 3.0. It's also KoopaTV's first and only videogame that's based on the Super Mario IP. (Which we don't own. Go beat the Story Mode for the credits.)

As of July 9, 2023, you can now play the game with just a mouse, but it's not implemented in an optimal way or reflected in-game yet. This patch also made Level 5 marginally easier.

As of July 31, 2023, the in-game instructions and user interface reflect mouse use, including level selection and a new KoopaTV instructional dialogue in Level 1 (and Level 1 is marginally easier to make sure you don't die while listening to the instructions). This should also make the game playable on a mobile device. I strongly believe that the most optimal way to play the game is still using a keyboard key, though.

Fire Withdraw is KoopaTV's first and last-ever videogame that you could play on a mobile device!
(It's inferior to using a keyboard on a PC, but it's possible to play through the game and the UI fully supports it!
Try it on a stable connection.)

Fire Withdraw is a single-player game that evolves the one-button gameplay inspired by the Egg Catcher minigame from Kirby's Adventure (and Kirby's Return to Dream Land Deluxe) and further developed by the Rock Harden minigame from Pokémon Stadium. I have a full explanation of everything below the page break (plus the embedded game itself, playable right from your web browser), so go: ↓↓↓↓↓

↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

Buy the Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective Remaster!

>By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Play the free demo if you feel nervous about the idea!

Today, several notable videogame titles released on the market. I have no problem with them (except for probably Everybody 1-2-Switch), but I will have a problem with YOU if you do not strongly consider purchasing the HD remaster of Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, available on all modern gaming platforms at the moment. I'm saying this as someone who still has the DS cartridge (but also considers its 2011 release to be a top 10 game released in the 2010s.) Here is the launch trailer particular to the Nintendo Switch.

The trailer might make it seem like any typical murder mystery adventure game (featuring time travel), but unlike, say, Ace Attorney, Ghost Trick (written by Shu Takumi, who wrote several Ace Attorney titles) is significantly more interactive. You're not just pushing A to scroll through text and occasionally making menu-based selections (by no means do I personally have an issue with that level of interactivity, but I know some people I've tried pitching Ace Attorney to do have that problem); your spirit is constantly moving around, and you must move around strategically. The puzzles get multi-layered and quite involved as the game progresses, though you can try again as often as you'd like.

Non-living or non-formerly living objects are all across detailed environments, and moving from possessing one to another within your range is how you move.
...And some objects let you perform an action, too.

Ike (from Fire Emblem) is Not Gay

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The accusations against him are playground bully logic. Instead...

For several years, KoopaTV's comments section has been assailed by weirdos who insist that Ike from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn is gay. Or maybe it's the same guy.

Unfortunately, it's not just that one guy who has been spreading this claims about Ike. There is a whole part of the Fire Emblem fanbase that has mistaken beliefs about romantic and/or sexual relationships, including many people that are themselves gay. It's very strange to see to see, but a big part of it is that there is a movement (that doesn't care about the truth) that wants to redefine any and every character as gay, in their image. (Some game developers are also interested in doing this to their own characters, or as the basis for making new characters.) They even want to say I'm gay. And to that, I say, don't say gay!

...Seriously, don't. It's not a very precise term. (And it's only in my article headline because that's the terminology people keep using, not because it's good terminology.) Instead, take a look at this 2x2 matrix I've developed. It's... not a very original thought, but it's a concept a lot of people don't understand, including laypeople:

This 2x2 matrix represents classifications on romantic and sexual attractions, based on attraction/no attraction to the same or opposite sex. (For more information, research “split attraction model.”)
The sexual identity movement tries to overcomplicate this with ideas of >2 genders and words with complex prefixes to feel unique and quirky, but this chart is the basic and enduring truth.
(There... may be one possible addition or complication to this that may explain common attractions in Fire Emblem, however.)

This chart may raise even more questions, so before I go to talking about Ike's life specifically, I'll answer some of those questions.

Left-Handedness Deserves More Recognition

By WITCH PRINCESS - It's hard to operate in the world with your preferred hand when almost everything wasn't designed for you to do so.

If you couldn’t tell from the title of the article, I am a left-handed witch. That means I pretty much am accustomed to doing (almost) everything with my left hand, from writing to eating to using a physical calculator.

I say almost in parenthesis because there are things such as cars, computers, and even video game console controllers that require me to use my right hand much to my displeasure.

My dominant hand has always been my left, according to my parents. Fortunately, I had parents who never tried to “retrain” me to use my right hand instead of my left. However, just because they didn’t doesn’t mean I was free of right-handed influence. There’s a whole list here dedicated to lefty problems!

The main problem I’m going to share with you though relates to gaming for lefties, specifically, a call to Nintendo and other companies to design ergonomic controllers for us!

Mario's Subcon Dream Comes From Childhood Memories

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - More specifically, the events of Super Mario Bros. 2 was influenced by the events of Yoshi's Island (chronologically).

Remember: The events of Super Mario Bros. 2 (or Super Mario Advance, the superior way to experience it) were all a dream. They did not actually happen. ...Sorry, I guess that spoiled the game's ending, but I'd like to think everyone knew that already.

That isn't a controversial statement—or shouldn't be, if you understand dreams. However, even though the events of the dream are fictitious, they do represent—even in an indirect way—things that actually happened to the person who was dreaming (Mario). For more information, let's ask an expert in the field. He's known as Pewter. He seems to know what he's talking about:

Pewter: Dreams can only be constructed from images and experiences the subject was present for.
Mizuki's Somnium couldn't have contained that figure if she didn't see it in person.
Of course, not everything we see in our dreams looks exactly the same as it did in the real world.
You saw some strange things in Somnium earlier, didn't you, Date?
That event you experienced is obviously not as it happened in reality.
Dreams are a collage of many memories intertwining and blending with each other.
Your skills as a Psyncer allow you to untangle those dreams and solve mysteries no one else can.

What does the state of Mario's dreamy experience in Super Mario Bros. 2 have to say about his past experiences? I believe the memories he's conjured up come from his childhood, or more specifically, his state as a baby or toddler. Now, this can get messy, because Mario has a time machine, and that's how Baby Mario can co-exist with his adult self in the present at times (or sometimes his adult self is in the past). And sometimes he's even employed his baby self as a... doctor? So that causes scenarios where Baby Mario's memories involve things he's seen way into the future, and that affects Mario's dreams in the present (or past relative to today, when he actually had the dream told by Super Mario Bros. 2). In other words, because of his baby self time travelling, Mario as of Super Mario Bros. 2 is able to dream of things that hadn't happened yet in his life because those were past memories encountered by his baby self in the future.

With that caveat out of the way, we'll try to understand Mario's subconscious for the rest of this article.

Pokémon Stadium Kids Club Minigame Tier List

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Worst-to-best of the nine minigames in Pokémon Stadium!

A few months back right after the first Pokémon Stadium became available on the Nintendo 64 emulator on Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack, I wrote an article about how Generation 1 mechanics really don't hold up today. I also wrote about how the minigame aspect (the Kids Club) is overrated, because the quality of the minigames themselves are lacking. Today, I'm going to go into more detail about those minigames and how they are designed, rating them in a worst-to-best tier list. My experiences are based on playing the minigames both with three other computer players, as well as with other real people. Also, note that my ratings are based on playing Pokémon Stadium on the Nintendo Switch. I DID play it on the Nintendo 64, but my game design thoughts are significantly more refined now.

If you get five minigame wins in a row in “Who's the best?” mode on HARD difficulty, you'll unlock HYPER difficulty.
It's not more fun than HARD, and winning is sometimes impossible.

Ekans’ Hoop Hurl

In-game Description:

Aim using the + Control Pad. Pull back and flick the Control Stick to launch EKANS.

The one with the highest score wins.

Pull the Control Stick back further to toss further.

Flick it lightly to toss a short distance.

Featured Pokémon

Ekans (controlled), Diglett (objective), Dugtrio (design of the floor)

Time

60 seconds. The player with the highest score at the end of that time wins. Ties are possible.

Ekans’ Hoop Hurl is easily the worst minigame of Pokémon Stadium—and I'd argue among the worst experiences of the entire Nintendo 64 library. It is one of the very few Nintendo 64 experiences that asks you to use both the Control Stick and the Control Pad at the same time. This is terrible for several reasons, including how uncomfortable it is.

I'd like to show you the in-game description below. Pay particular attention at the photo of how you are supposed to hold the controller. Note that controllers don't look like this anymore: Both the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller and Nintendo GameCube Controller, as examples, have the Control Stick at the top left of the controller and a D-Pad southeast of it. Those controllers also have two prongs for two-handed people, instead of the Nintendo 64's three prongs for three-handed people:

Ludwig's First-Ever Visit to a Physical Therapist

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An evaluation appointment. Treatment appointments to come. (Now updated at the bottom of the article.)

I haven't played Ring Fit Adventure since the start of 2023. There is something resembling a good reason for this: I've been in pain for the past four months, particularly on my right hip. As opposed to persistent pain in my left hip at the end of 2021. You probably have the impression that my body is a mess. You would be right.

Since I haven't been totally following my chiropractor's fitness advice (and my chiropractor helps me feel better but doesn't cure my pain in the long-term), my primary care physician suggested I go to a physical therapist (PT). It takes quite a while to schedule an evaluation appointment with a physical therapist, since I suppose they're in big demand. (My doctor also refused to let me get an MRI or X-ray because he thinks I'm too young to have problems). But today I finally got one! For the first time ever. Lemme tell you what happened.

The Mushroom Kingdom Hyperinflation and its Problem for the Koopa Clan

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - About the devaluation of the gold coin thanks to Princess Peach's monetary mismanagement.

The gold coins in the Mushroom Kingdom are practically useless. As the reigning monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom, Princess Peach is accountable and responsible for this result that damages the living standards and economy of the Mushroom Kingdom. And as trading partners and users of the same gold coin currency, Koopa Kingdom has a vested interest in wanting the currency to be useful.

For almost twenty years now, I've been thinking about the drastic currency fluctuations the gold coin has had, especially in a short period of time. Take a look at this:

According to that exchange rate, 115 Mushroom Kingdom gold coins equal 10 Beanbean Kingdom coins, or 11.5 Mushroom coins to 1 Beanbean coin. That's not inherently bad. But what is bad is the exchange rate a mere few weeks later:

99,999,999,999,999 Mushroom coins converted to a mere 99 Beanbean coins. (That's 99 trillion, 999 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 999 coins.) That's an exchange rate of 1,010,101,010,101 Mushroom coins to 1 Beanbean coin. (That's 1 trillion, 10 billion, 101 million, 10 thousand, 101 coins.) That's a percent change of approximately 8,783,487,044,256.52%. Many economists seem to like the definition of “hyperinflation” being a 50% change in a month. It's almost unfathomable how much more reasonable a normal hyperinflation would be compared to what the Mushroom Kingdom goes through.

Nintendo Direct June 21, 2023 Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's a lot of emotion involved, at least.

Today, there was a Nintendo Direct livestream featuring roughly 40 minutes of information focused mainly on Nintendo Switch titles launching this year, including new details on Pikmin 4. Watch it embedded here:

I gave a live-reacted text log (annotated with select screenshots) below. KoopaTV staffer Kamek is also present in the log... in his own way.

[9:54 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7t5jnpkCkI
[9:55 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM AHH
[9:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Back.
[9:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not sure if I did a good job wiping myself but I don't have enough time for that!
[9:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some people have already asked me what I expect or want to see in this Nintendo Direct. I expect nothing. I didn't ask for this event to happen.
[10:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But I am interested in the fact that media people / influencers / whomever have claimed that Nintendo backed out of E3 2023 because they have a weak lineup and have nothing to show.
[10:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: First thing: Pokémon.
[10:01 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Someone also told me there wouldn't be Pokémon at Nintendo Direct because Pokémon has their own event.
[10:01 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Obviously mistaken.

The NintendoVS Challenge Cup June 2023 is a Siren's Song

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Alternatively, it's a devil's deal, and it's far from guaranteed.

I will start by proclaiming that Nintendo obviously reads KoopaTV. First, I complained about the methods of entering Nintendo Live FOR SURE (and not by lottery) involved two Splatoon 3 competitive tournaments and a Mario Kart 8 Deluxe event... to the exclusion of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. In response, Nintendo revealed the four tournaments to take place at Nintendo Live (as opposed to enter Nintendo Live). Two of them were for Splatoon 3 and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, but the other two were for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Though it's still a problem that getting into Nintendo Live is a luck-based mission, and only one day is available. Those Splatoon 3 tournaments and the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe event are over, after all.

Well, if you want a Super Smash Bros. Ultimate event to guarantee your entry to Nintendo Live, check out...

I really like this key art. It's great for the start of summer.

The NintendoVS Challenge Cup June 2023! ...Sounds fancy and cool, right? Well, you're going to want to look closely at the ruleset, because it's a very raw deal. Even worse, it's a NintendoVS Challenge Cup. And unlike the Challenge Cup mode in Pokémon Stadium 2 (coming to Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack this year), this Challenge Cup is a horror. So much that I've been consistently recommending people DO NOT PARTICIPATE. Here's why, once again.

Gender Equality In Our Forces

By SHINYGIRAFARIG - Women can be both Troops and Commanding Officers

I emailed to WayForward Support on July 24, 2021:

Please put in female Infantry for Orange Star for Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp

The US Senate finally voted to have women be required to sign up for the Selective Service System. It would be wonderful if Orange Star, the US's Advance Wars counterpart, shows this new change and have female infantry as well.

Thanks so much.

An Advance Wars fan.

Aaron from WayForward then replied this:

Hello,

Thanks for writing in! Though I can't make any promises, as we don't have complete control over the project, I've passed your request onto the director of the game. :)

Regards,

-Aaron

Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp eventually released. I decided to play the second game first because I wanted to see Lash and Jess as early as possible. During the playthrough of the Orange Star missions I noticed this:

Selected Research From SLEEP 2023

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We hope you have a good night after reading about these seven studies.

In honour (or dishonour) of my total lack of sleep due to the recent reaction log deep into the night with the disappointing Grasshopper Manufacture Direct, let's turn our attention to SLEEP 2023, which was a conference that took place this year during June 3–June 7 in Indianapolis, Indiana. SLEEP is brought to sleep professionals every year by the Associated Professional Sleep Societies (APSS), a collaboration of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) and the Sleep Research Society. The names of those should tell you that SLEEP is where professionals in sleep medicine—both researchers and practitioners (and students of those)—come together to share learnings and best practices. Oh, and to network!

There are hundreds of abstracts involved in the meeting and there were many sessions, including an advocacy session ran by our friends in common cause, Save Standard Time and Dr. Karin Johnson. Here is a sampling of seven studies that SLEEP's news section highlighted and my thoughts on them. ...Note that I didn't actually attend the conference.

Teens with irregular sleep patterns have higher risk of school problems

The first study suggests that the keys to a good sleep for teenagers are sleeping for long enough (8–10 hours), at the right time every time, and not being interrupted. When teenagers have a greatly varying sleep schedule or habits, they are much more likely to perform poorly in school, such as being 42% more likely to be suspended or expelled or 29% more likely to receive a D or F as their course grade. Researchers therefore believe that teenagers ought to get a stable sleep schedule in order to perform better in school and be better behaved.

Grasshopper Manufacture Direct 2023 (and Delay) Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Most of the log is me waiting for the video to get uploaded!

After twenty-five years of existing (and of waiting, it feels like), Grasshopper Manufacture, Goichi Suda (SUDA51)'s game development studio, now has a Direct for the first time for fans and anyone else who cares to tune in! Personally, I've wanted to know what will happen with the company's projects after the tragic news of Chinese company NetEase Games acquiring Grasshopper back in 2021. Perhaps this Direct will clue us in? They did promise something would happen.

Less than 24 HOURS before our premiere Grasshopper Direct!

I can’t reveal any details but I assure you… something is definitely going to happen.

Start times:
6/14 - 9pm PST
6/15 - 12am EST
6/15 - 1pm JST
6/15 - 4am GMT

WITNESS IT!🤘https://t.co/jtQ1OqFudl pic.twitter.com/e87ajEQQi0

— Grasshopper Manufacture (@Grasshopper_EN) June 14, 2023

You'll notice that the Direct embed is not at the top of this article. That's because it was delayed for well over an hour. You'll have to scroll down past my rants about cursive writing (prompted by the embedded tweet) and Daylight Saving Time to get to the Direct embed, as well as my LIVE REACTION to the video, which was uploaded (significantly later than promised) but not livestreamed.

[11:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Grasshopper Manufacture isn't doing a livestream, but rather, a video.
[11:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or, I can't find the livestream.
[12:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, YouTube has nothing there.
[12:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're not tweeting anything.
[12:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Guess this reaction log is a dud.
[12:01 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://twitter.com/Grasshopper_EN/status/1669193256633237504
[12:01 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We're so sorry everyone, due to some technical difficulties Grasshopper Direct is running a little bit late - but we WILL be starting soon and we'll keep you updated in real time & provide the URL soon so please check back here in a few minutes!🙇‍♂️🙏"
[12:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, I could either wait for it to start soon or I could go to sleep.
[12:03 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How long will it be technically difficult? I dunno.
[12:03 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I KNEW THIS LOG WAS A DUD.
[12:04 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHY IS THEIR PICTURE TWEET "Something's gonna happen."
[12:04 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NOTHIN' IS HAPPENIN'.

Kuru Kuru Kururin Review

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Could you say this is a Kurureview?

Since Nintendo upgraded Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack to include Game Boy Advance games, you may be wondering what's worth playing! KoopaTV commenter Captain Stitch had told me:

“Cool that GBA and GB games are finally coming to switch. You should really play Kuru Kuru Kururin, it is a very fun and very addicting game. Short too, and the music is Absolutly phenomenal. Seriously, play just a bit or listen to the soundtrack you will not regret it. Everyone loves the Cave music, but I'm partial to the Cake Land music myself.”

I decided to do more than just listen to the soundtrack or play a bit... I played and beat the game, while collecting all it has to offer, including Perfect clears of its Adventure mode and Challenge mode levels. Let's get into the review to see what I think.

Fast Facts about Kuru Kuru Kururin

Name

Kuru Kuru Kururin

Console

Originally Game Boy Advance, but played on Nintendo Switch

Developer and Publisher

Eighting and Nintendo

Genre

Puzzle

Space Required

The space for the Game Boy Advance emulator provided by Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack

ESRB rating

It lacks a rating due to a lack of an original American release, but I'm sure if it had one, it'd be E

Number of Players

One for most of the game's content, but there is an up-to-four-player Versus mode

Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price

Included in Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack, which KoopaTV pays $80 a year for

Demo?

Nintendo Switch Online has a seven-day trial, but the Expansion Pack isn't included, so no demo

Chatot Parting Shots “Objection!” and Other Ace Attorney Speech Bubbles

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A collection of speech bubbles.

There was once a trailer for Pokémon Shining Pearl and Pokémon Brilliant Diamond featuring Chatot using Parting Shot. The description for Parting Shot is, “With a parting threat, the user lowers the target's Attack and Sp. Atk stats. Then it switches with a party Pokémon.” That threat is why Parting Shot is also a sound-based attack. However, I didn't know the move's animation was for Parting Shot, which is a very rare move that not only has poor distribution, but high level-up requirements. (In Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl, Chatot is the only Pokémon that can learn Parting Shot!) Given that the trailer didn't show the effects of the move, only the animation, I thought it was Chatter... but it was not. And so I levelled up Charap (the in-game-traded Chatot) in Pokémon Shining Pearl to level 49 until it learned Parting Shot. Why did I care so much? The move's animation looks like this:

A white speech bubble with a stylised black border and red text? Can it be...?

...Another familiar white speech bubble with a stylised black border and red text!

What if I put these concepts together? Well, behold:

Objection! You've spoken contradictory testimony!

I've made these for all of the other Ace Attorney series speech bubbles that are in the mainline six Ace Attorney titles, in honour of yesterday's announced Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney Trilogy. Take that! (That's one of many of these.)

CAPCOM Showcase of June 2023 Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - WAY better than I was expecting going into it!

You ought to skip 35 minutes into this. It's also not as long as it seems (only 36 minutes) since the video ends with influencers and not corporate content:

Regardless of how well you can actually watch along with me, I'm here and I live-reacted to the CAPCOM Showcase of June 12, 2023. Coinciding with this event is a MASSIVE sale across your favourite game platform(s) on CAPCOM games. That includes 58% off (the biggest discount EVER on this) on the Ace Attorney Turnabout Collection, which means only $25 for FIVE Ace Attorney titles across two individual collections. (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy and The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles.) This deal with these games at this time gets my highest possible recommendation. Consult your favoured digital game shop for more details. The sale ends in less than two weeks, so get going.

Now, onto the log:

[5:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.twitch.tv/capcomusa
[5:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRiEUtXKozU
[6:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: CAPCOM promises to discuss 36 minutes worth of content, featuring Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, Exoprimal, and Dragon's Dogma 2. "And more!"
[6:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: One obviously wonders what "And more!" involves. I think there will be a segment on the newly released CAPCOM TOWN. Probably something on Street Fighter 6 since it just came out to big success. And probably something on the Path of the Goddess game they just announced yesterday at the Xbox Games Showcase.
[6:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HERE WE GO
[6:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Hello, everyone!" Good start.

Ubisoft Forward June 2023 Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It feels like all of their games are the same and have been for some time.

While E3 2023 does not exist and I'm under no obligation to watch this, I'm pretty sure this Ubisoft presentation is what they would've shown if Ubisoft would present at E3 like they promised they would. (As opposed to quitting out of it, which caused the entire event to collapse.)

Live reacting to it (rather briskly) is... myself, in the middle of the day. The funny thing about me taking time off for E3 2023 well in advance is that since it's cancelled, all (most) of these individual company sessions aren't actually taking place in the middle or end of this week, but have already happened or are happening now.

[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrB-VSmWJJI
[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Dancing!
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Olympic eSport dancing.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But featuring Just Dance.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, yeah.
[1:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They did the Olympic eSports before, but dancing wasn't part of it.

Xbox Games Showcase 2023 + Starfield Direct Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A two-for-one special!

For some time, Microsoft has been talking about a summer games showcase for the Xbox that would happen even if they didn't come to E3 2023. (And, of course, no one came to E3 2023 because it doesn't exist.)

Well, they're here now.

And we (well, just me) are here too to live react to what happened during that showcase. Added to the end is basically 45 minutes or so of just Starfield content, which I reacted to as well.

[12:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpjGFMygYtk
This is the link to the so-called "Audio Description" livestream, which I assume is Microsoft's way to say "this will have captions on the screen".
[12:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: uhhhhh
[12:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THERE IS A PERSON READING, LIKE, ALT TEXT
[12:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THAT'S NOT CAPTIONS
[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGtYn7DCIYo
[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OKAY
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THE MAIN STREAM HAS A CC BUTTON IN 43 LANGUAGES
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So that's the one I want. (But now I'm really curious about the audio description stream experience.)

Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl Resolved Many of Diamond & Pearl's Release-Era Issues

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Historical revisionism drives dislike, but I'm not a fan of that.

It has been a trend in several gaming fandom circles (The Legend of Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Pokémon; the last of those being today's topic) where there is a cycle of love-hate relationships with old games and new games. A game might be disliked at release and then appreciated later... or the other way around. In Pokémon Pearl and Pokémon Diamond's case when they released on the Nintendo DS in 2006–2007 (back before the world all got games at the same time, Japan got it in 2006), the games were almost universally acclaimed by game critics and normal fans alike. They were proclaimed to be the best mainline Pokémon RPG up to that point, though with some imperfections.

And then... something happened many years later, and fans were turning on Diamond and Pearl. Even worse, it was as if all of that praise never happened. It's like all of the fans had learned Toxic. But I won't let what they say undo how much I liked Sinnoh at the time, and much moreso than the games that came before it. And having played Pokémon Shining Pearl, it's still my favourite mainline Pokémon game of the generation.

I very recently wrote an article comparing the sour fan reception to Shining Pearl plus Brilliant Diamond to the much more glowing fan reception of Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp, despite their similar faithful remaster philosophies. I've went back and did some research using the Wayback Machine on what was actually said, at the time of release and slightly after, about Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl, and I'm going to share that information with you all and what Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl changed or kept the same compared to that feedback.

Devolver Direct 2023: The Return of Volvy Reaction

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Volvy!

There were several videogame presentations that happened today, but the only one I'm going to give attention to was Devolver Digital's often entertaining Devolver Directs. This also marks the first reaction log of June 2023! (But it won't be the last.)

I didn't get to react to this LIVE as it was airing, and I'm the only staff member around for it. Well, I think that's just fine. Check out my timestamped thoughts.

[7:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2ztnnc1_AE
[7:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Will be watching in 5 minutes.
[7:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Personally, I think it's good that Volvy is coming back.
[7:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...
[7:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Though I wonder if they'll make his legacy worse like they did A Boy And His Blob.
[7:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Simpsons got Rat Boy (niño rata) from Volvy's design but with Bart Simpson elements.
[7:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And that's all I have to say before it starts.
[8:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, starting.

Splatoon 3's Challenges Mode CAN Be Fun!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It depends what the challenge is.

One of the new things introduced in Splatoon 3's version 4 Sizzle Season 2023, and perhaps the most important thing, are Challenges. I wasn't able to write about Challenges when the new season became live, because they didn't start yet. However, the first Challenge, New Season Challenge, began on June 3. Challenges so far last in three rotations (with a Splatoon rotation being only two hours) total, and the times of these are spaced eight hours apart at inconvenient times. In North America, it means late at night, when you should be getting ready to go to work (or are still asleep), and then during work hours.

The theme of this challenge is that no one has experience with Barnacle & Dime, so we can all play it for hours on end and HATE IT together!
This probably means they'll repeat this Challenge at the start of the next season in three months, huh...

The New Season Challenge was dreadful. The rules are that it's just a normal Turf War, but it's only on the two new-to-Splatoon 3 stages: Humpback Pump Track and Barnacle & Dime. Sub-abilities also won't work, meaning only your clothing's Primary abilities are of any use. In other words, it's a bad Turf War rotation that you might avoid, because Barnacle & Dime is a truly bad stage where if you lose the first fight for the middle of the stage, you're pretty much going to be spawn-camped for the rest of the match because your spawn area doesn't have the geography needed to push the invaders out. There are two incentives to play a Challenge instead of play the still-available Turf War or Anarchy ranked modes:

Does Nintendo Want Us To Know What Everybody 1-2-Switch! Is?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - From its reported backstory, it seems like Nobody 1-2-Switch.

Do you remember Nintendo's Nintendo Switch launch title 1-2-Switch? Not that many people bought it for a casual launch title that was supposed to prove the value of the console and its new control scheme. Even Nintendo Land on the Wii U sold 5.21 million copies versus 1-2-Switch (3.63 million at my last count), despite the Switch outselling the Wii U nearly 10:1. (Note: Nintendo Land was bundled with the Wii U for a limited time in limited circumstances, while 1-2-Switch was not. 1-2-Switch was also $50, while for some time, Nintendo Land MSRP'd at $60 but later $30.)

While 1-2-Switch didn't sell as much as Nintendo might have wanted, and its critical and fan reception was severely negative, someone at Nintendo apparently thought they oughta make a sequel. And so... Everybody 1-2-Switch. But it was announced in... a tweet. Not even a trailer or anything, and it's a tweet that omits any details on what the game is:

#Everybody12Switch is coming to #NintendoSwitch on 6/30.

Pre-order now: https://t.co/Z2OfGsMa1M pic.twitter.com/5Wm9WLsDpG

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) June 2, 2023

The nintendo.com page is abysmal. Besides that key art, this is the only photo, which isn't very informative or enticing at all:

Nintendo Live 2023 WILL Have Super Smash Bros. Ultimate!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Unfortunately, it's a terrible way.

We saw Nintendo Live 2023 introduced a couple of months ago as a Seattle-based four-day event “featuring videogames to play, a live stage with performances and acts, photo opportunities in the Nintendo-themed environment, and competitive tournaments.” (Note there won't be product announcements.) All of those things are still true. We then learned that access to Nintendo Live 2023 is based on a lottery system, which is terrible. But not only is it an RNG-based mission to get access, but you'll only get access for one day, and you only have the chance to win one ticket. It's not something you can plan ahead for, at least not cost-efficiently.

But you CAN try to plan around picking which day you can try to win access to, because Nintendo has revealed that not only is registration open now, but they've said what happens on each day. And most importantly, I was partially too hasty when I previously wrote, “I think if they won't do a tournament for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate with Nintendo Live, they are never going to sponsor another Super Smash Bros. Ultimate tournament ever again. Rest in peace.”

Yes, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate will have not one, but TWO events during Nintendo Live: One on September 1 (Friday) and the other on September 3 (Sunday). But both are...uh... non-traditional.

Disgraced Game Developer Yuji Naka Faces Guilty Verdict, 2.5 Years in Prison, and 1.24 million USD in Fines

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm satisfied.

Quick recap of my favourite story of 2022–2023: Yuji Naka, who is the bad game director behind mega-flop BALAN WONDERWORLD (regrettably published by SQUARE ENIX) and an ex-member of the Sonic Team, was arrested in November for insider trading he did while at SQUARE ENIX based on privileged information that Aiming Inc. would be the developer of Dragon Quest Tact. Then Yuji Naka was arrested a few weeks later in December because investigators found out he also insider-traded shares of Ateam Inc. based on their development of the upcoming FINAL FANTASY VII: The First Soldier.

Basically, those games existing are big deals and big breaks for those developers because they're based on big brands, and if you know who the game's developer is before it's announced, you can buy a bunch of shares pre-announcement while the share price is low, and then sell after the price pops up once their involvement in the highly anticipated games is made known.

I actually saw BALAN WONDERWORLD displayed at a GameStop earlier this week for $20 USD.
Digitally, it sells for $40 USD. But I also guess GameStop has a whole bunch of used/pre-owned BALAN WONDERWORLD inventory they want to get rid of for bargain bin prices.
They might as well put those copies in a landfill like it's E.T. all over again.
(By the way, I bought Kirby's Return to Dream Land Deluxe while shopping. See? I did follow up.)

Yuji Naka couldn't cut it as a game director in the modern era, so he tried using his access to confidential SQUARE ENIX information as his way to get ahead in life. He didn't have a real defence for himself, and he already confessed in court to the facts described above. So, where does that leave the judge?

KoopaTV's May 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the second-to-last one of these newsletters.

Let us dive into headlines and I'll spare you the introductory paragraph.

KoopaTV's End of Content Notice

I hope you haven't missed this notice published on KoopaTV's 10-year anniversary. Unlike most of the other years where we just pat ourselves on the shell, this anniversary article provided valuable information: KoopaTV will stop publishing new content after July 3, 2023 (which will be the June 2023 review newsletter linked at the bottom of this very article once it exists). For reasoning on why, read that article and then come back here.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of May 2023

This was a very tough thing to just pick only FIVE of the MANY amazing KoopaTV articles published in May 2023. Here is my chronologically ordered attempt:

1. True, the Advance Wars Trilogy's Story isn't Serious — FAKE NEWS Kotaku evaluated Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp based on something it wasn't trying to be. In fairness to them (and because it's an issue KoopaTV cares about), we evaluated their evaluation.
2. KoopaTV's Failed Attempt at Building THE MIGHTY BOWSER — Ludwig and Witch Princess attempted to build the LEGO set The Mighty Bowser in front of the Koopa King himself. As our review reveals, it didn't work out as planned.
3. The Surprising Similarities Between Sticker Star and Breath of the Wild — The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was built on the foundation that Paper Mario: Sticker Star created. This article goes into great depth about it.
4. The Mighty Bowser VERSUS The Bootleg Bowser — This meme-filled article compares the costly but high-quality The Mighty Bowser LEGO set with the cheaper but bootlegged Bowser brick sets you can buy online.
5. Ash Ketchum Failed His Torterra as a Pokémon Trainer — For KoopaTV's final World Turtle Day article, we discuss that twerp Ash Ketchum and how he was a terrible Pokémon Trainer for his Torkoal, Grotle, and Torterra.

Everything on KoopaTV is worth reading! Even if it's not in this top five (or prior newsletters’ top fives), you ought to still check it out!

Splatoon 3 v. 4.0.0 & the Sizzle Season 2023

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think it's overall underwhelming, but we'll see what Challenges are like.

Three months ago, Splatoon 3 entered version 3.0.0 and the Fresh Season 2023. It's now time for a new version and a new season:

Between now and the end of August, there's a new season!

Up-front, the best update are the three songs from Yoko and the Gold Bazookas: Ska-Blam!, Three-Horn Circus, and Rockagilly Blues.

I think my favourite is Rockagilly Blues, but it's hard to say. I really like the genre! Anyway, the highlights in the 4.0.0 patch notes is that there is a new catalog, a new stage (Barnacle & Dime—which is awful and suffers from the problems that most of the new Splatoon 3 maps do about linearity and lack of flanking), a returning stage (Humpback Pump Track, which I've always liked), new weapons (including alternate versions and two totally new weapons, the S-Blast '92 and the Painbrush; the Painbrush is a pain to fight against), a new Salmon Run stage (Jammin' Salmon Junction), and new Tableturf Battle cards to go along with the new weapons.

I've tried to use the Tenta Sorella Brella which I'm thinking should be an upgrade from the normal Tenta Brella (Ink Mine over Squid Beakon and Trizooka over Ink Vac), but I haven't won a single match with it.

Pokémon HOME 3.0.0—Connectivity with Scarlet and Violet is Here, BUT...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...The company seems rather quiet about it. Is Mudsdale blocking them?

After straining the definition of early 2023 and spring 2023, The Pokémon Company International announced on May 18 that connectivity between Pokémon HOME and Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet would finally be a thing on May 23. ...And then a day later, they reversed that to be sometime in the future. That's not just a social media goof-up, either: a whole pokemon.com article also reflected that. That same article at least acknowledged connectivity with Pokémon Brilliant Diamond, Pokémon Shining Pearl, and Pokémon Legends: Arceus, which TPCi had earlier wiped all mentions of from the Pokémon HOME website approximately around November 2022.

However, as of publishing, the connectivity is here (May 30, 2023), with many trainers all over connecting Pokémon HOME with the Paldean games, including Pokémon from the Hisui or Sinnoh-based games. Not every Pokémon is allowed to be transferred into Paldea at this moment, however. Consult a website like serebii.net for the list.

But...there is something very strange about this situation, given how this article opened.

If Toadsworth IS Dead, Good Riddance to the Anti-Koopa Bigot

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is my idea of a Memorial Day article?

When was the last time you thought about Toadsworth? Toadsworth is (or was) Princess Peach's attendant, a very old chap who was first seen flying with Princess Peach (and that awful red-hatted plumber) to Isle Delfino.

Some people out there believe that Toadsworth is “probably dead.” According to Toadsworth, his lifespan decreases every time Princess Peach is kidnapped, so it's quite possible that he actually is dead by now. But I can't confirm that, since I haven't seen his corpse. He really hasn't shown up in any new event in a very long time, though. Not since the Pi'illo Island incident almost a decade ago. I don't miss him. In fact, he probably hates me, though I haven't met him personally. I think he has something against Koopas in general.

Take a look at the following chemistry table excerpt taken from Mario Superstar Baseball. If you're unaware, Mario Superstar Baseball has a chemistry rating of 0 to 100 for each character for every other character. There is some gameplay application; you need 90 or more chemistry to have "good chemistry" (for faster fielding throws if you throw to a buddy, and stronger charged hits when your buddies are standing at the bases) and 15 or lower for "bad chemistry" (if you throw to an enemy, the ball may be mis-thrown; there is no batting consequence). That means chemistry values between 16 and 89 are superfluous, but they exist anyway. chemistry also matters in team formation when determining the number of Team Stars your team begins with, but that only matters in relation to your captain character and how the team members relate to your specific captain; so it's still superfluous for everything else.

The embedded Copy of Chemistry tab excludes Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Wario, Waluigi, Monty Mole, Birdo, Pianta, Noki, and Dixie Kong, since they aren't very relevant to Mushroom Kingdom-Koopa Kingdom relations. (Though if you're interested, Toadsworth's chemistry with them are 63, 62, 24, 23, 51, 69, 72, 73, and 61, respectively.) If you want the full table, go here.

The Super Mario Advance Releases are the Superior Versions of Those Games

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Same applies for the Donkey Kong Country Game Boy Advance games, though those aren't in the news.

This week, Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack subscribers (and associated Family Group free-riders) now have access to Super Mario Advance, Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2, and Yoshi’s Island: Super Mario Advance 3. This is on top of Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3 being available since Game Boy Advance titles have been available since three months ago.

Fundamentally, this is the third time you can play Super Mario Bros. 2 across Nintendo Switch Online emulators. The first is on NES as Super Mario Bros. 2, the second is on SNES as part of Super Mario All-Stars, and now here is the third as Super Mario Advance on the GBA. Super Mario Advance is undoubtedly the best version of it, and it is also the greatest-changed of all four Super Mario Advance titles.

All of the Super Mario Advance games have improved sound effects and voice effects, and there is better spritework put into them. (But not that much better—my sprites are still bad, for example) Super Mario Advance now has five Ace Coins scattered in all twenty of its levels, meaning there are one-hundred collectible Ace Coins. This greatly benefits the timer-less exploration experience that differentiates Super Mario Bros. 2 from Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World, and brings Super Mario Bros. 2 closer to the masterpiece exploration sidescroller experience of Yoshi's Island (or Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3). It also disincentivises skipping parts of some levels with Luigi's massive Jump stat by bringing alternate reasons to play besides level completion—collection.