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Thursday, November 30, 2017

The Complete Primer on Net Neutrality and Title II Regulation

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Fear tactics and scaremongering, sponsored by Silicon Valley.

I have a ton of requests that have come my way for me to share my complete take on “net neutrality.” This is because the Federal Communications Commission is having a vote this December 14 about it. Many people have done a fine job sharing the term around while saying it is under assault and the fate of the Internet is at stake. Significantly fewer people actually understand what is really going on. Since I'm widely seen as an intelligent thought leader on these kinds of issues, people look to me to know the truth and I've sort of been avoiding writing an article on net neutrality for years, including ignoring the issue on this site when it came to prominence in 2015.

Why? It's extremely complicated, and to properly understand net neutrality, you need to know the history of the Internet and the technical details of how it works. I am going to do just that, and then give you my analysis on the net neutrality issue at hand, the scare-tactics people use, and why those scare tactics are effective. In the process of doing that, I will apply some much-needed CRITICAL THINKING to the discussion, which is sorely lacking right now.

If I am factually incorrect on anything I am writing in this article, please let me know in the comments section. I will reward you for correcting me for misstatements in this article, and almost every other article on this site, through KoopaTV's Corrections Corner feature. (More on that in the italicised footer at the bottom of this article.)

With that said, I will start my complete primer. Hover your mouse over each heading to figure out the url anchor, so you can hyperlink to specific article sections if you desire. Also, check out the comments section, since that has pretty good discussion and elaboration of some points from this article. This article has been updated as of December 14.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Submit Your Pocket Card Jockey Records; How To Get Good Ones!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Submission sheet created by the Pocket Card Jockey subreddit; sponsored by KoopaTV.

Do you play Pocket Card Jockey? (In a world where people made good decisions, all of your hands/paws/claws should go up.) If you're as fascinated by Pocket Card Jockey as we at KoopaTV are — and you would be fascinated by Pocket Card Jockey's deep mechanics and repeatable fun if you played it — then you probably have played it for a long time, and have participated in many of its races.

It's only $7 on the 3DS's Nintendo eShop, and there is a free demo that is representative of the game that allows you to transfer your progress to the full game.

Pocket Card Jockey times you on how fast you can complete its races, and then keeps those records in a museum. In that deep-dive article I linked in the first paragraph, all I mentioned about these records was that,
you're also timed on how long it takes to complete all of the Solitaire phases of a race if you want to try to beat your own score/Jagger's records/StreetPass records.”
They weren't a big focus for me when playing the game, and I've played it for over 130 hours now. There are a number of tactics you can do to reduce your time that would be counterproductive if you were playing the game normally, which I will get to below the fold.

BUT FIRST, I would like everyone who has Pocket Card Jockey to go to this public Google spreadsheet started by Redditor Quivico and enter in your record times, as provided by the game's museum. It's an easy sheet to figure out — each person has their column, and the five race courses have their own spreadsheet tabs. If you have any questions, let me know in the comments, since the rest of this article will be TIPS & TRICKS to getting a good record in Pocket Card Jockey.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Nintendo Switch Wins 2017's Black Friday AND Cyber Monday

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It also won Thanksgiving, but do people really spend their Thanksgiving buying stuff?

I haven't heard Nintendo outright winning something important for about a decade now, but according to Adobe, which is apparently in the business of market intelligence and data, the Nintendo Switch was the top selling product on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday. In the interest of being fair & balanced, we have to point out that it was beaten by Microsoft's Xbox One X on Small Business Saturday, but who cares about that day besides Linda McMahon?

Nintendo Switch Top Selling Product of Thanksgiving Black Friday Cyber Monday Adobe Digital Insights 2017
Our pictures aren't fair & balanced, though.
(What the hell is a Hatchimal, a Colleggtible, or a PJ Mask?)
Source: Adobe Digital Insights.

To answer my heading's question, it seems the times have passed by me and I haven't noticed. It seems like it was a mere two years ago that GameStop was taking a stand for family values on Thanksgiving by being closed. In 2017, however, GameStop announced early that they would be open, and they were, promoting whatever the hell a Fingerling is.

Why did GameStop abandon family values? For profit, of course. Profit selling what? Nintendo Switch consoles, according to their earnings call. Years ago, there was no blockbuster Nintendo Switch to sell and the market was in a down period. Now there is a hot item to sell, and you can see which way their value systems go. In fact, according to that earnings call,

Monday, November 27, 2017

The Miiverse Post History Has Come In! It's Interesting...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There are some nice goodies in here, though it's separated out.

During people's Thanksgiving dinners on November 23, Nintendo sent me an e-mail: “Ludwig: Your Miiverse post history is ready.” This is what we've been waiting for since Miiverse got discontinued a few weeks ago. After all, KoopaTV published a “Miiverse Downloading Your Post History FAQ!” for people to get all of the information they need on this. How consistent was the FAQ to what really happened?

Inside the e-mail is a unique url that leads me to downloading a .zip file to my computer, as Nintendo promised. There are instructions and interesting details:
“-Nintendo Network ID: PrinceOfKoopas
-File size: Approximately 32.2 MB
-URL expiration date: 12/31/2017

-You will not be able to download the file after the expiration date listed above.
-Please do not use a smart device to download and view the file, as the file download will only be supported on a computer.
-Depending on your post count, the file may be a few hundred MB or a few GB.
-Anyone with access to the URL listed above can access and download your post history. Please be cautious with the URL.”

They didn't mention there would be an expiration date. Also, my file size is significantly less than they promised, even though I have over 500 posts and they're almost all hand-written with screenshots. I was known on Miiverse for making very few posts despite my time spent using Miiverse (0.311 posts per day, or 2 posts a week), but how many shit-posts did people make to get that big a file size of a few GB? Especially since it didn't save your text posts as images in the .zip?

I'll tell you what was — and what was not — included in the file that Nintendo sent. Basically, they give you the assets to recreate your Miiverse profile, including some common assets, so it will look like the main draw of the post downloader: index.html. Looks like this:

Friday, November 24, 2017

Epic, Massive Nintendo eShop Cyber Deals 2017!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring only... SOME Ace Attorney games on sale?

Originally, I was going to skip writing about whatever Nintendo was doing for Black Friday because it's so crappy — a Nintendo 2DS (a 2DS that is otherwise discontinued, not a New 2DS XL) with a game for $80. Awful.

But THEN Nintendo revealed their CYBER DEALS lasting until December 11, and that was a game-changer. There are significant savings for Nintendo Switch, Nintendo 3DS, and even Wii U games.

The most important part of the CYBER DEALS is that it is yet another opportunity that the Ace Attorney games are on-sale on the eShop. KoopaTV has a mandate to tell you every time this happens, so here we go:

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies is 66.67% off at $9.99, and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice is 50% off at $14.99.

That's it. ...Yeah, there's a game that always gets on sale when Ace Attorney games get on sale that is not on sale this time. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy is its full $30 price. (Which is still a significant value, by the way.)

Nintendo eShop Cyber Deals Week 2017 Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney series sales
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy is full-price, while the other games are either on sale or they literally just came out this week.

For comparison, the last time these games were on sale was the CAPCOM Summer Sale three months ago. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies is at an ALL-TIME discount right now, 20 cents cheaper than before. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice is also at an ALL-TIME discount, going from an all-time high of 40% to 50%. These are both record-breaking sales for their respective game. But the question is... why isn't Trilogy on sale?

Maybe CAPCOM really is going to re-release Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy on the Nintendo Switch, and very soon. Or, they need to save some sales for the CAPCOM Winter Sale 2017! Take your bets on whether or not Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney will get a discount next month.


There are a lot of other games that are on sale that aren't Ace Attorney, so you are encouraged to check out a Nintendo eShop nearest you before December 11 and see if anything interests you.


Compare these to Nintendo's Cyber Deals 2016.
Even without any hardware deals, the Nintendo Switch dominated Black Friday and Cyber Monday.
The next Ace Attorney sale is concurrent with this one... on the mobile ecosystem.
The next eShop Ace Attorney sale happened without any promotion in February.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

This is Roxy, Signing Out of KoopaTV — For The Last Time

By ROXY - Good-bye, and thank you!

After eleven months, I have decided to leave KoopaTV. I enjoyed keeping the content of the site on the straight and narrow by doing real news and investigative journalism. The corporate social responsibility opportunities were also very rewarding!

I really learned a lot working with the staff here, and I have a much greater appreciation for birds, robots, and turtles than I did before joining KoopaTV. The staff have also said they will serve as my endorsements for future endeavors, and I have a lot of material to put on my CV. I also managed to lose quite a lot of weight being on KoopaTV's staff since I have had to sustain off instant noodles with KoopaTV's nonexistent salary.

I have become fascinated with the United Kingdom and have decided to apply as a reporter with the BBC. I don't actually have the job yet, so please wish me luck!

I'm really thankful for Roxy being a part of our wonderful KoopaTV family. She brought unique perspectives to our site's activities, being both a woman and a human. She did her part to try to add some hard-news legitimacy to KoopaTV's antics, like her E3 2017 News Round-Up after, like, over 25 live reaction logs from our zany and biased staff. She took one for the team. ...Erm, I want to specify that KoopaTV will still be a legitimate organisation after Roxy departs, as it was before she joined our staff. Anyway, there's a lot that she influenced behind the scenes at KoopaTV, including doing research on if our sources of information for our articles were true or FAKE NEWS. I just wish she got to participate in at least one live reaction log, but it's alright if that wasn't her thing, since those are all about opinions. She's like former Seminole County Associate Medical Examiner Shiping Bao: No opinions. Just the facts! That's the making of a great journalist!

Roxy is more on my mind than a goat on a hobo. She kept up with my internal polling numbers even when things went pear-shaped. She rose to the task of reporting dangerous political extremism even if she accidentally reported on the wrong event. And most importantly, Roxy abstained from implicating us in areas of sexual harassment (some call it #MeToo) even after KoopaTV subjected her to the horrific sight of John McCain and Lindsey Graham dancing naked. Thank you Roxy.

I'd like to express my appreciation to Roxy for her services to KoopaTV, especially for taking the time to investigate my disappearance. ...Not that she managed to find me. I don't know whether that reflects well on my ability to live inconspicuously or poorly on her investigative talents. Oh well, at least she tried. See ya, Rox.

Don't worry. We've put her to work.... Somewhere.

Who is Roxy?





Roxy has instilled in KoopaTV a renewed sense of truth to its levity, and KoopaTV will continue to do battle against the forces of “fake news” even after her departure. Thank you for your service to KoopaTV, Roxy!


Roxy will always live on as a KoopaTV employee in the critically-acclaimed free PC game, The Wonderful 1237.
For a more traditional Thanksgiving article from the staff, see 2016's. Roxy wasn't on the staff at this time.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Knickers in a Twist: The Pink Underwar

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Pinkie and the Inane.

If you've been keeping up with the news, President Donald John Trump just this week issued two presidential pardons. Who for? Drumstick and Wishbone, of course! The two not-for-Thanksgiving turkeys will be living out the rest of their days at "Gobbler's Rest", which I'm pretty sure isn't a Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Friend Area. I'm also pretty sure that this Drumstick has nothing to do with the Drumstick from off of Diddy Kong Racing. The Drumstick from off of Diddy Kong Racing is a rooster. Roosters aren't turkeys. Drumstick the Rooster has his weird fleshy appendage standing on top of his head, while the pardoned Drumstick gets to have it droop from his beak like a flaccid Flying egg group penis. I THANKfully don't have to deal with any of that.

Anyway, this isn't President Donald John Trump's first presidential pardon. The first got dumped on us back in August and right in the middle of Hurricane Harvey (who the hell names a hurricane Harvey?), causing media to halt hurricane coverage so that they could talk about whatever Trump just did instead. The pardon in question was specifically a pardon of "America's Toughest Sheriff" (and human) Joe Arpeggio Arpaio after he was previously convicted on counts of criminal contempt of court.

Who exactly is Sheriff Joe Arpaio? That's what all the 20-years-old 20/20 episodes are for. A brief summary however is that he's a man who's long been the target of controversy in how he treats his dudes. He's been criticized for subjecting prisoners to 140° degree temperatures, having them subsist on 50¢ balogna sandwiches, and the most egregious punishment of all -- the pink underwear.

One guy can't even show his face.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Monday, November 20, 2017

Taking Back My Apology: Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon Haven't Changed Much

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It looks like most people have finally caught up to what I was saying for half a year.

From what I can tell Lapras Paddling the Internet (what, you think I'd Mantine Surf it?), I got a lot of street credibility for apologising for my “Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon aren't different enough from Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon” position with the Team Rainbow Rocket article.

I formally take back my apology. In fact, now that Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon are released and everyone knows (or can know) what the game consists of, I would like to take this opportunity to GLOAT that I was RIGHT THE ENTIRE TIME and I should have never doubted myself. Though, even in my apology, I was still correct. Allow me to chronicle and quote my own spot-on brilliance from Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon's announcement up to this point. (This also serves as KoopaTV's way to cap off our coverage of the game.)

Friday, November 17, 2017

Sexual Misconduct of the Real Roy: Roy of Pherae!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's clear up who the Roy is that women everywhere should be scared of.

All you hear in the news is that some new Pokémon games came out, and that there is an epidemic of sexual misconduct by the universe's royalty. But the biggest culprit of all the royalty? A ROY. Yes, a royal Roy is the biggest sexual deviant of them all. I just want everyone reading to know that this is not the Roy I think of when I think of Roy. No, it is a human of the continent of Elibe. This human is the marquess of Pherae within the country of Lycia. Yes, I am talking about THAT Roy. He doesn't have a proper last name, but I think “Roy Pherae” will do.

KoopaTV has done a full investigation to clear the name of any Roy that may mistakenly be seen as the bad guy in all of this. That's what happens when the real culprit goes by Roy with no middle name. In the course of this investigation, we've talked with several women that Roy Pharae has done bad things with and to. At the end of this article, we have a very clear message to the world regarding Roy Pherae.

The contents of this article might be disturbing to some people, since it deals with sensitive topics from real victims. Then again, if you consume the news, you should already be accustomed to this.

About Roy


First, let's go over what we know about Roy. He first appeared in Super Smash Bros. Melee, and then showed up in Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade, alternatively known as “Fire Emblem 6” or “Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi” or “Fire Emblem: Sword of Seals”. Roy is the son of Eliwood, who is the son of Elbert and Eleanora. Roy grew up frustrated, stemming from his mother's decision to not continue the Pherae lord trend of beginning one's name with “El”. He also had a foster brother named Wolt. Roy grew up being raised by two old men: an old warrior named Marcus, who also served Eliwood, and an old merchant named Merlinus. When KoopaTV asked Eliwood about his interactions with Marcus, he recalled this quote from Marcus back when Eliwood was not even an adult:

Thursday, November 16, 2017

A New Mario Movie by the Makers of MINIONS?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Also known as Illumination Entertainment.

According to the Wall Street Journal, which cites an anonymous source because people aren't supposed to know about this, Nintendo and Universal are “close to an agreement” on Nintendo licensing the Super Mario Bros. IP to the guys who made Minions, Illumination Entertainment. This would follow Nintendo's licensing agreement for those Universal theme parks.

Now, keep in mind that two and three-quarters years ago, the Wall Street Journal also reported that Nintendo had agreed to have a live-action The Legend of Zelda series on Netflix. We never heard about that ever again.

Nintendo to Bring Mario to Big Screen Wall Street Journal article business movies Ben Fritz Takashi Mochizuki Illumination Entertainment
Left: Front page of Wednesday's Wall Street Journal, Business & Finance section. (Story below-the-fold.)
Right: Second page, continuation of the front-page story. (Still below-the-fold.) Features Cappy.

That said, this makes sense with what was earlier reported a year ago about Nintendo being interested in going back to movies. “Full-fledged filmmaking” was the choice quote. Everything in that article has pretty much come true, according to this Wall Street Journal report, down to Creative Fellow Shigeru Miyamoto being name-dropped as someone who is working very closely with the negotiations and will be working closely as a movie producer.

Excellent. 

One note: Just because the studio doing the movie is behind those rotten Minions, doesn't mean that every movie they will ever produce will be like that. Movie studios can be versatile. But, if they are going to be in that style, at least hopefully that crap stays in the theatre and not in the games. ...But if Illumination IS a crappy studio (why would Nintendo sign to work with them, then?), then Shigeru Miyamoto will have to micro-manage them even closer than he would a competent group. That means other people will do the actual gaming stuff, and that means more Super Mario Odyssey and less Paper Mario: Sticker Star.


Ludwig could have made this article substantially longer, but he doesn't want to inflate this article with filler content like the Wall Street Journal's authors did with their article. That article is mostly about how Hollywood has been trying to get videogame intellectual property deals and how those are a hot thing for them, even though Hollywood films based on games tend to suck.


Hollywood doesn't understand gaming in general, which is how Pixels was made.
This story was officially confirmed by Nintendo.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

CAPCOM Executives Know Ace Attorney Exists?! Coming To Nintendo Switch?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ace Attorney sees the C-Suite and says, “See? Sweet!”

Let's get right to it. The legendary Ace Attorney series from CAPCOM — no stranger to publicity on this site — will be making its way to the Nintendo Switch within a year or so from now. How do I know? A CAPCOM executive said so in Japanese, and people say it translates to this outcome. Not just any CAPCOM executive, however, but Haruhito Tsujimoto, the President and Chief Operating Officer of CAPCOM. (He's also the son of the founder and CEO.) Chief Operating Officers are high-up there in the chain of command. They're basically the second-in-command in terms of the stuff we care about. They tend to be very high-level and not deep in details.

The high level for CAPCOM is to release Monster Hunter often, and in as many places as possible. So they are making this Monster Hunter: World game and they showed it at Sony's E3 2017. Then we thought it would appear at Nintendo's E3 2017, but instead it was Mario and Cappy capturing a T-Rex. Through all of this, CAPCOM hasn't really done much for the Nintendo Switch, sticking to the Nintendo 3DS, like with Monster Hunter Stories recently and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney next week.

That looks to change, and in the most astounding confirmation. I mean, think about it. 

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Mirror Is The Most Popular Kirby Copy Ability? Round 2!?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Are my tastes in Kirby's copy abilities more mainstream than I anticipated...?

Exactly two months ago, we told you about the Kirby Battle Royale: Kirby Copy Ability poll that was hosted by Nintendo. It lasted for a few weeks, I voted every day for Mirror, and that's all we heard. Yippee, 25th anniversary.

Now we know the results... and Mirror won! Mirror will now be added to Kirby Battle Royale as a copy ability, and there is a really underwhelming wallpaper you can download to your computer or smartphone.

Kirby Battle Royale Mirror Copy Ability desktop wallpaper
This is kind of lame. It's my current wallpaper, though, because I was using my previous one (Pokémon 20th anniversary Mythical Pokémon) for way too long.

Here are the top ten abilities per the poll:

  1. Mirror
  2. Yo-Yo
  3. Sleep
  4. UFO
  5. Plasma 

And then in an unknown order there are the Wing, Cook, Missile, Sword, and Suplex abilities for spots 6 to 10.

But wait... there's MORE! There's a ROUND 2! A FINAL VOTE!

Monday, November 13, 2017

Sci-Fi Vs. Fantasy: Genre Preference Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I support the fantastic option.

Check Splatoon 2's Inkopolis Square right now — a new Splatfest has opened for voting! Yeah, Nintendo doesn't want you to abandon Splatoon 2 just because a new must-have game got released a few weeks ago. Depending on how you vote for this Splatfest, you can support said game!

What is it? On one side, we got Team Science Fiction lead by Pearl! And on the other side, there is Team Fantasy lead by Marina! 

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Team science fiction versus fantasy Pearl Marina news
The battle of the genres: Science Fiction versus Fantasy!

Let me tell you straight-away: I'm supporting Team Fantasy in this article and for the Splatfest. I don't trust something that is written as “Science Fiction” but is abbreviated as “sci-fi”. Where the hell did that hyphen come from?

I also see this Splatfest as a rematch between Art vs. Science, which is the Splatoon Splatfest where I supported Team Art. I'm not saying that science and science-fiction; or art and fantasy are exactly the same, but I'm pretty sure that you should get, like, at least 90% of the same people on each team. It's basically, “Okay, Art is legally considered to be better than Science. So, what kind of art would Team Art and Team Science make?”

Friday, November 10, 2017

Don't Tread On Me? Don't #MeToo Treddon!

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Let's examine abuse properly.

Some have expressed concern with the #MeToo campaign and how it ignores due process. Did the sexual harassment really happen? Did the victim really not express consent to it? Did Paper Mario really need a story? Usually no one really knows.

That said, here's an easily-understood example of what's definitely harassment vs. what's definitely not:

Thursday, November 9, 2017

5 Commentaries to 5 Nintendo's Six-Month Financial Results (Term Ending March 2018) Briefing Questions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I could talk about all fourteen, but I do intend to sleep tonight.

It is that very delightful time of year again: Nintendo is halfway through their fiscal year, and Nintendo president Tatsumi Kimishima fielded questions from the always unintentionally-hilarious investors and analysts. I'll give my analysis on FIVE of the most interesting of the fourteen questions.

There are some points I need to make based on the other bits of investor relations information, so we can all be on the same page as the funny investors. First, Nintendo announced that they are revising their forecast of planning to sell 10 million Nintendo Switch units from April 1, 2017 to March 31, 2018 to... 14 million Nintendo Switch units! That means they will plan to have sold almost 17 million Nintendo Switch consoles by the end of March 2018, which will surpass the lifetime sales of the Wii U.

Second, ARMS is the worst-selling first-party Nintendo title on the Nintendo Switch, at 1.35 million units. This trails 1-2 Switch, which has 1.37 million units... which seriously trails Splatoon 2 at 3.61 million units. Third, there are no longer more copies of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild sold (4.70 million units) than there are Nintendo Switch hardware sold (7.63 million units).

Then there was Tatsumi Kimishima's financial briefing/presentation. Lots of topics there, including big emphasis on mobile. However, the most interesting part for me was this pair of charts:


Nintendo Switch Gameplay Trends docked vs undocked chart usage by household gender buyer ages
I want to know a regional breakdown for the Docked vs. Undocked chart, and I want to know what's up with that 3% N/A gender breakdown in the Usage by Household chart.
I'm one of those 20% of people who only play Docked.

With all of that background in mind, let's go into the investor questions! Spoiler alert: The investors didn't ask or care about Miiverse, the Wii U (which was considered That Which Must Not Be Named), or even the 3DS. It was all Nintendo Switch and mobile trash for them. That should put things into perspective and should give rationale for why Nintendo shut down Miiverse.

Nintendo requests that I hyperlink to the Q&A document they have, which sounds like a good idea even if they didn't ask

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Miiverse Has Now Been Discontinued — Stories From NNID PrinceOfKoopas

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Looking for NNID PrinceOfKoopas? He writes here.

After months of apocalyptic atmosphere, Nintendo's second major attempt at an online forum has been discontinued. No more Miiverse.

I spent my past weekend taking screenshots of the many times we have embedded a Miiverse post on KoopaTV, and then replacing the embed with that image, to make sure KoopaTV's own functionality isn't irreparably damaged. Through those very manual efforts I once again became quite cognizant of the role that Miiverse has played on KoopaTV, having co-existed alongside KoopaTV throughout our own lifespan. Now we will out-survive Nintendo's social service.

It's not just content and posts that we've used on many KoopaTV articles, including as recently as Monday's. It's also not just having a handle on how real Nintendo fans feel about what's going on — the community pulse. But, quite frankly, a lot of KoopaTV's best readers came from Miiverse and were smart enough to get from there to here. Let's hope any Mii who wants more of me can figure out to come here. And there should be a lot of people, because I'm pretty damn popular on Miiverse for someone who can't draw and doesn't shit-post. I'll get to my own Miiverse stuff at the end, but you're probably more interested about how this affects you.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

KoopaTV's Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Non-Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Can we really feel Xenoblade Chronicles 2, or are we submersed in apathy?

Today at 9 AM Eastern Nintendo showcased a ~17-minute Nintendo Direct exclusively on Xenoblade Chronicles 2. No one was able to attend the live viewing of it, but fortunately for us (and you, so you can follow along), video-on-demand exists. Rawk, Vortexica, and myself all non-live reacted to this Direct!


Monday, November 6, 2017

Daylight Savings Time Withdraws. Abolish It Permanently, President Trump!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We're interrupting our regular anti-DST cadence to bring this special interview.

Since 2015, KoopaTV has written an article every March bashing Daylight Savings Time, accompanied by a request for it to be abolished. For this year's (2017) article, we wrote directly to President Donald John Trump calling for him to abolish Daylight Savings Time in the name of Making America Great Again.

He never replied. It's been almost eight months now.

Why do I expect a reply? Well, aside from the fact that I AM a foreign almost-head of state (and President Donald John Trump is responsive to us types of people), we got a response from former President Barack Hussein Obama back when we sent him a letter. It took him a little over two months to reply back, and we considered that a long time.

I said that I would publish President Donald John Trump's response to our first letter, but since it doesn't exist and now Daylight Savings Time is taking a respite (until March 2018, if nothing changes), we figured that perhaps President Donald John Trump's extreme-vetting and work on THE WALL that cut KoopaTV's article production by 40% back between February and the end of April perhaps got our first letter lost in the mail. Now that we are well back into our one-article-per-weekday flow of things because America's legal system keeps staying his immigration orders, I sent him a new letter. Read it below.

Friday, November 3, 2017

New Donk, New Donk: A KoopaTV Adventures Special

By VORTEXICA - Also, Vortexica explains why he's not dead.

Hey! It's me, Vortexica! Long time no see!



No, I am not dead (as seen by the above). There's been much speculation and rumour about my whereabouts over the past year. Now I can finally tell all...

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Pokémon Ultra Sun/Moon: Meet Team Rainbow Rocket?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They're trying very hard to change my opinion on these games by literally throwing the entire franchise history into one game.

I think I made my opinion on Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon VERY clear in my previous article about those games. It appears that Game Freak and The Pokémon Company International were listening closely to what I was writing. While most other people on the Internet's response was that it was clear that Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon would be very different than Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon, I still maintained that they would be the majority-same.

I have changed my opinion, so consider this my apology article. Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon will be different than Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon in many ways. Not VERY different, mind you, but I'll say more than 30% different, which was the threshold I gave myself in my previous article for when I'd admit I'm wrong. Even if there will be a lot of shared content, I will admit that it appears that the ATMOSPHERE and CONTEXT that the identical content will exist in will be different. Perhaps I should've figured that out when Hau and Lillie switched facial expressions.

Anyway, all of what I'm saying derives from this new trailer, along with updates to the official Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon website:



Wednesday, November 1, 2017

KoopaTV's October 2017 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A lot of changes, and a big opportunity for you.

We are entering the last two months of this INSANE year, 2017. Long-time readers know that KoopaTV gets in a very giving mood around this time, but you should hold on a bit before we get to that.

After all, October had some changes to the KoopaTV formula of success that are very impactful, so it's best to cover those in this newsletter.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 16 RESULTS!


Before we get to the highly-anticipated holiday season round of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, we need to close out Round 16. Well, here are the results:

  1. Kody B. — 65 points
  2. Nandin Lopez — 45 points
  3. ShinyGirafarig — 25 points
  4. Lheticus Videre — 24 points
  5. Samantha Lienhard — 21 points
Only the first-placer, Kody B., will get a prize for Round 16: A $10 Nintendo eShop card! Yippee. This is unlike Round 17 (announced below the fold immediately following the next paragraph) which will have MULTIPLE PRIZES to give out! Awesome!

Special shout-outs to Nandin Lopez who didn't even get in the top 5 scorers in the mid-round results at the end of September. He managed to get to second place through good comments, a guest post (which made its way to our Top 5 Recommended Posts), as well as filling out KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XII and KoopaTV Quiz Part XII, where he scored a 6/6! (See below for information to the 13th edition of those!)