Search KoopaTV!

Translate

E-mail Subscription

Friday, April 3, 2020

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 21: The Gunsho Temple Loophole

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Inside Hades is a tribute to the Second Amendment?

I originally declared that KoopaTV's Fitness Friday series exists as my training for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. Then they got delayed to 2021. At this point, I'm almost done with Ring Fit Adventure's Adventure Mode, and I've already spent several months so far, so I might as well see it to the end. This article continues off last week (week 20).

I already exhausted myself (mostly my arms) playing Ring Fit Adventure on Sunday night before even starting Adventure Mode, because I was testing out the new Rhythm Game feature for Monday's article. None of the time spent on that is recorded in the Adventure Mode timer and there is no Rhythm Gym or anything in the Adventure Mode. There is, however, the Fitness Gym (which does have a main menu equivalent), and that's where I'm tortuously starting this fitness log. Specifically, on difficulty level 30 in World 21: Between Land. It's the Core Set, and the reward is one measly Diamond:
  1. Bow Pull (x40)—This is the worst damn Fit Skill you can start with, especially since I just did a lot of pushing and pulling with my arms over the Rhythm Game mode. You're supposed to pretend the Ring-Con is like a bow and pull it like you would a bow (because everyone playing Ring Fit Adventure has archery experience?), but if you're unethical, the game is only measuring that the Ring-Con is being pulled. How you pull it is up to you.
  2. Overhead Lunge Twist (x40)—At least this one is much easier. Hold the Ring-Con above you, and twist your upper body left or right, making sure to rotate the Ring-Con with you.
  3. Pendulum Bend (x30)—Bend down and move the Ring-Con like a swinging pendulum, except it floats at the left-most/right-most points for longer than an actual pendulum would. You won't be looking at the screen for this. If you're a bad person, you can just stand (or even sit) and just revolve the Ring-Con. But they're not hard to do correctly...
  4. Seated Ring Raise (x60)—Sit down and raise the Ring-Con above your head and then lower it down in front of you. Repeat.
  5. Plank (x30)—Damn right I'm going to cheat on this. You can trick the game by starting in the Plank position. Then stand up. Bend your knee to complete a rep. It'll HOLD while your leg is straight.
  6. Warrior III Pose (x28)—Warrior III is too good to cheat, and there's no point since all Yoga poses are overly-generous in scoring anyway. Stand on one leg and make a T-pose by bending forward while extending your held-up leg back.
My reward for being an unethical cheater (and I realise that's a turn-off for anyone casually coming across this article) is an overworld chest containing Warrior III Pose Lv.3, which is a great Fit Skill (along with being generous to perform correctly).

By the way, before I keep going, note that this article obviously has story spoilers.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

KoopaTV's March 2020 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You humans are so... fragile!

March 2020 was a very eventful month on KoopaTV, and I'll get to why shortly, because many things happened and they deserve their own headings. I do need to write a paragraph or two before the headings start, however.

I'm pleased with how we're doing. We includes both the staff, and we includes you, the readers! (And some of you are even players... in our free loyalty game.) But you are so skittish just because of some deadly pandemic on Earth? Pft. Koopa Kingdom doesn't have to deal with such things, but I'll also discuss that throughout the newsletter.

For now, let's talk about what happened on KoopaTV in March 2020:

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of March 2020


Even if an article is not on this list, we consider it still worth checking out. That said, we have special information to pass on in March, and we did so, and you better catch up if you missed it:
  1. Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection Music Player ReviewMega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection is out and the combined series’ music is still as awesome as it was on the DS. But is the in-game delivery mechanism awesome? It's a review of the music player!
  2. Mario Celebrates MAR10 With Over 10 Simultaneous Mario Forms — KoopaTV has a very severe animosity towards Mario. But what happens when there are over 10 Marios? How did there get to be so many?
  3. What Does the Return of the XFL Mean For Gaming, and What Could Gaming Mean to the XFL? — You may not think that sport monopoly shake-ups can affect the gaming industry, but you would be... incorrect. Best to read this article and get set straight.
  4. On the Ground News: Coronavirus Emergency Edition — A whole slew of news (packing truth and levity) coming your way, all about the coronavirus. Because some people only use KoopaTV as their information source, perhaps it's best to be of...help to you.
  5. Owning and Playing Games (like Animal Crossing) as a Social Status Symbol — Ludwig provides a sob story as an excuse for why he won't be buying and playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons, even as everyone else is doing this and it seems like you won't be considered “in” if you don't.

Quite frankly, there's actually really important stuff that I didn't even get to include in those five articles, so, yeah, March 2020 was a big deal for our future. Your future, too. Speaking about you...

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Mark Your Calendar: Are YOU Invited to The KoopaTV Loyalty Cruise Program?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And if you're not invited, you have a chance through April to be!

You know about the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, right? It's ONLY advertised on every page on the site via the site-wide header.

On May 12, 2020 (that's a Tuesday, and KoopaTV's seven-year anniversary) KoopaTV will be hosting the KoopaTV Loyalty Cruise, on the new KoopaTV Loyalty Cruiser that we got! It's an all-day cruise, with many amenities and fun! The whole KoopaTV staff will be there.


KoopaTV KoopaTV.org cruise ship Daisy Cruiser Mario Kart Double Dash
...We, uh, built this ourselves. Totally didn't steal it from Princess Daisy or anything.

Who else gets to come to the KoopaTV Loyalty Cruise? This list of previous KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program winners going all the way back to early 2015:

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Pray Away the Distance Demons From Super Smash Bros.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Way too many long hitboxes.

Once upon a time, characters with short ranges dominated the tier lists and metagames of Super Smash Bros. games. Part of the reason for that is that long-ranged characters didn't really exist. There's Samus's Grapple Beam, sure. You had Marth, sort of, in Super Smash Bros. Melee, but his grab range was more imposing than his Falchion. In Super Smash Bros. Brawl, there was a major problem with Snake's Up-Tilt being way too good and having a hitbox that goes far past where his leg actually goes.

Then the character design philosophy began to change a lot in Super Smash Bros. 4. Everyone was competing for the longest forward-smash. There's Shulk. Then Corrin came along. In Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Simon Belmont and Richter Belmont came with their massive whips. There's the most recent addition, “distance demon” Byleth.

Monday, March 30, 2020

What's in the Rhythm Game in Ring Fit Adventure?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm not very groovy, but maybe you are?

Last week, Nintendo unveiled a same-day Ring Fit Adventure update (version 1.2.0—full patch notes over here) that added several new things to the game experience, with the biggest one being a 17-track rhythm game mode called Rhythm Game. Simple enough...

Rhythm Game has two modes to it: Arms + Legs, and Core + Legs. Like many other rhythm games, it involves listening to a song and “catching” beats flowing from the screen's top/background to the bottom/foreground. Instead of an instrument peripheral like some other games, you're using the special Ring Fit Adventure peripherals, being the Ring-Con and Leg Strap. 

In Arms + Legs, you're standing up straight and pushing/pulling the Ring-Con while shifting your body to the left or right, or you stay neutral/in the centre. Sometimes there are beats where you have to hold a push or pull for an extended period of time, or push/pull repeatedly. You may also have to squat (or stand back up). For Core + Legs, you have the Ring-Con rotated left on your stomach and push it in the entire time, while doing the left/right up/down shifts. That means Arms + Legs has double the variety (push & pull) versus Core + Legs (you're pushing the entire duration of the song), and as a result, Arms + Legs has multiple difficulty levels and is really where the developers’ focus went into.

Friday, March 27, 2020

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 20: The Ultimate Balance... And More!?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An unexpected game update put ME off-balance!

Why do KoopaTV Fitness Fridays exist? Why is so much effort on KoopaTV being put into Ring Fit Adventure? Well, it's not as much about Ring Fit Adventure as it is about... me, and my efforts to be physically prepared for the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games. ...Though they got postponed, and the implications of that are currently still a mystery to me.

(But to the extent that this is about Ring Fit Adventure, note that these fitness logs, especially this one, have massive amounts of story spoilers.)

This whole coronavirus thing is a major concern for me, so I actually skipped playing Ring Fit Adventure on Sunday night in favour of watching multiple late-night Fox News specials on it. This was a big mistake, and those specials were useless. They're never going to advance past “social distancing” and “wash your hands”, and they're really just hoping decision-makers watch the show and end the economic shutdown so everyone can go get sick but keep the economy moving.

Whatever, I got to keep my progress in Ring Fit Adventure moving. We last left off by starting World 20: The City of Open Eyes on difficulty level 30 (maximum), named as such because Dragaux is making a loud ruckus as HE'S training. ...I don't think he's going for an Olympic title, though. We defeated the master of balance, Guru Andma, and completed the grueling Trapezius Set in the Fitness Gym. Twice. Now we have an overworld map looking like this:

Thursday, March 26, 2020

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Nintendo Direct Mini March 26, 2020

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Stop begging for these in comments sections.

According to very dumb people (who liken themselves to wise theorists and gurus), we've had the longest drought between two “real” Nintendo Directs, with the last one in September 2019. Oh, we've had plenty of other Nintendo-based presentations and news drops since then, but apparently all that matters is the Nintendo Direct.

Per those theorists, the Nintendo Direct Mini phenomenon isn't a Nintendo Direct. In that case, the drought continues. (What that means and why it's supposed to be significant, of course, is unknown.)

That's because today, Nintendo suddenly and without warning dumped this nearly half-hour Nintendo Direct Mini on us:


It's hard to suddenly coordinate a KoopaTV crew to live react to something published pre-noon without warning, so this reaction log is just between me (and I'm petty and negative) and Heavy Lobster (who is grateful and positive). Check it out:

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

GameFAQs Game of the Decade (2010s) Favouritism Bracket

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If I was the only voter in the world...

There's a big contest beginning March 26 that's going to last for over a month: The GameFAQs Game of the Decade (2010s) contest! GameFAQs.com users got to nominate up to ten games that released between the beginning of 2010 until the end of 2019. The top 128 have been entered into a bracket, which is reproduced below (after the page break, because it's lengthy).

I actually participated in that nomination process. If you want to know MY top ten games of the 2010s, here is my list in order of release date. As you might expect, it's heavy on things published by Nintendo or CAPCOM:
  1. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (2011, Nintendo DS)
  2. Kid Icarus: Uprising (2012, Nintendo 3DS)
  3. Pokémon Conquest (2012, Nintendo DS)
  4. Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward (2012, Nintendo 3DS)
  5. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies (2013, Nintendo 3DS)
  6. Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon (2015, Nintendo 3DS)
  7. Pocket Card Jockey (2016, Nintendo 3DS)
  8. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice (2016, Nintendo 3DS... it's 60% off as of publishing, by the way, but that won't be for long)
  9. Splatoon 2 (2017, Nintendo Switch)
  10. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (2018, Nintendo Switch)
I didn't expect that I'd be so heavy on the DS and 3DS, though. And the Wii U got nothing. Whoops.

Only four of those games made it into the top 128, and it turns out that I've only played 19 of that top 128. In the interest of not subjecting you to repeated instances of me pretending to have played games so I look cultured, for this year's GameFAQs contest I'm not going to follow it round-by-round on KoopaTV. Feel free to vote for whatever you want, as long as it's not a game I loathe. The polls are up each day on the GameFAQs home page.

In previous years’ contests (check them out at the bottom of this article's footer), I dedicated an article for each contest's round, but the way this bracket is constructed that's just going to be very repetitive and boring. Instead, you get a super-long article where I go through round-by-round as if I'm the only voter, and what the contest would look like in that case. Sometimes I write why I would vote the way I would. Most times I just have no comment. Quite frankly, some of these games I've just never heard of, so I don't have much of anything interesting to say.

Oh, I set up a table of contents, because navigation might help:


Tuesday, March 24, 2020

The CAPCOM Greatest Hits Sale of March 2020!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yeah, another.

Still looking to dump your digital wallet into something and digitally download games that are too scary to go outside to get? Then take a look at the CAPCOM Greatest Hits Sale on the Nintendo eShop:

CAPCOM Greatest Hit Sale Nintendo eShop March 2020 Dragon's Dogma Okami Resident Evil Mega Man Ace Attorney Monster Hunter
There are seven games in the sale! It ends at the end of March! (2:59 AM Eastern on March 31, 2020.)
 
The games are:
  1. Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen for Nintendo Switch at 33.33% off ($19.99)
  2. Ōkami HD for Nintendo Switch at 40% off ($11.99)
  3. Resident Evil 4 for Nintendo Switch at 33.33% off ($19.99)
  4. Mega Man 11 for Nintendo Switch at 50% off ($14.99)
  5. Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate for Nintendo 3DS at 70% off ($8.99)
  6. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice at 60% off ($11.99)
  7. Resident Evil Revelations for Nintendo 3DS at 60% off ($7.99)

I have no idea how CAPCOM decided what counts as a “Greatest Hit!” and what doesn't. Why don't they consider any of the Street Fighter or now-on-Switch Devil May Cry games greatest hits? There is a weird mix between just-released games (Mega Man 11 released in 2018; Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice is from 2016) and ports/remasters (Dragon's Dogma is originally from 2012...Ōkami is originally from 2006, while Resident Evil 4 was the biggest accomplishment of 2005).

Of course, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice was 60% off on a sale that began as recently as two weeks ago... and ended last week. Don't think that just because CAPCOM is CONSTANTLY (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice has been 60% off every month since November 2019, and twice now in March 2020) discounting their games that they have no value. Spirit of Justice is excellent. Best game of 2016. The other games on sale are great, too (hence “greatest hits”), such as Ōkami HD. But if you had to pick one... Ace Attorney. Always.


Ludwig isn't sure that CAPCOM is even aware how often they put their games on sale, or if anyone even buys them at full price anymore. Just wait for the inevitable sale. Still, the Ace Attorney games are spectacular at any price point, even above full price! They're fundamental to the KoopaTV journey.

Monday, March 23, 2020

Dick Pound Says Tokyo 2020 Olympics May Be Postponed... Not Official Party Line (Yet)!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Take it with a pound of salt.

I am writing this article right before my nightly Ring Fit Adventure session—a game I've been using to get my body in shape. Why do I need to be in shape? Because I'll be representing Koopa Kingdom in the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games. I was supposed to be in the Rio de Janeiro 2016 Olympic Games as well, but a pandemic named Zika ruined that. (That links to a massive series of KoopaTV articles and a six-part story.)

Obviously, I've been trying to pay very close attention to this new pandemic named COVID-19, or coronavirus. Thomas Bach, president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), wrote a letter to all athletes (including myself) over here. It's a lot of paragraphs but not much information or amusement (unlike a KoopaTV article). Basically, the IOC is just now considering detailed “scenario planning.” I'm not sure what took them so long to do that. I'm not impressed.

Speaking to USA Today, and clearly being out-of-turn, Mr. Dick Pound (whom is apparently a member of the Olympic Commissions on Marketing and Communications, and an Arbitrator in the Court of Arbitration for Sport; that last one at least rhymes well) claimed that “postponement has been decided.” That's a strong statement, but not supported by any other IOC member or publication. An IOC spokesman said that it was Mr. Dick Pound's “right” to “to interpret the decision of the IOC executive board” regarding scenario planning. In other words, Mr. Dick Pound is speaking for himself and not on behalf of the IOC.

Dick Pound Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games postponed delayed
According to Mr. Dick Pound, this Start button is going to be greyed out for a while, even past July 2020.
 
I don't want to have the Olympics cancelled, with all of the very hard work I'm putting into it. Postponed, sure, but it's supposed to be the SUMMER Olympic Games. If it's delayed enough, then it might not still be summer. That might not seem like it matters much, but the seasonality affects the kinds of events you can hold.

And if you still don't think it matters much, then you can join me in not being impressed with the foolish requirement that the International Olympic Committee has to maintain age-old traditions that the media breathlessly reports, such as the Olympics never being postponed before, and only ever cancelled due to World Wars. Whatever hasn't happened in the past doesn't really matter now. The Olympics are a global event like any other, and almost every significant global event is getting cancelled, virtualised, or having companies back out. Even E3 2020. (...Oh, I never wrote a dedicated article for that. Well, E3 2020 got cancelled. What will KoopaTV do during that time? Dunno.)

Update March 24 2020: Dick Pound was right. The Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games will not take place in 2020, and will occur in 2021


Ludwig would actually like the Olympics to be sooner than July 2020, because he's in peak physical condition and it's only going to go downhill from here. Do you think Mr. Dick Pound is correct in his assessment, or is he only representing himself? What if they cancel some of the sports but not all of them? Is training for the Olympics still a good thing for the sake of your body, or is it a total waste if they don't happen?

Friday, March 20, 2020

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 19: The Robot Kingdom

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Robots can't get coronavirus...

So you know that KoopaTV has a new staff member, Heavy Lobster? It also has Ring Fit Adventure. I don't know if robots can lose weight (is it trying to become Slim Lobster?), or if the Leg Strap even fits around Heavy Lobster (or where it would be attached), but I figured that I would take advantage of Ring Fit Adventure's Multitask Mode and donate some reps to Heavy Lobster. As for the fitness logs, I don't expect Heavy Lobster to note its progress on KoopaTV's web pages like I've been doing on a weekly basis for KoopaTV's Fitness Fridays. I'll note here that I'm playing the game at the maximum difficulty level, 30.

Ring Fit Adventure Multitask Mode gifted 500 extra press pull repetitions
Thanks to SOCIAL DISTANCING, I won't be near Heavy Lobster to see what it will do with the 500 extra reps.
But I figure it'll thank me later.

This week is a continuation of Week 18's trek into Chapter 19: Getting Rusty, taking place in the Robot Kingdom. It's very appropriate for Heavy Lobster, then. Not as appropriate for me, but we'll see.

The first thing I'm doing is taking on the Fitness Gym I was too scared to do last week, the Upper Arms Set. It involves many repetitions of five Arms Fit Skills, being...

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Owning and Playing Games (like Animal Crossing) as a Social Status Symbol

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's an Animal Crossing sob story by the end of this.

Have you ever lied about owning and playing a videogame? To impress a friend? To impress a forum? Very few people are at least willing to admit that they play games as a social thing, and few people admit to lying about beating games they haven't.

I think that's understated. People lie or bluff about seeing movies for the sake of smoother conversation. It makes sense they'd do so for games, since games are now as mainstream as movies.

Of course, you might not have to lie. You could just get the game. You might not enjoy it, but it might be easier than lying about it.

There are classic games that you may pretend to have played to seem more cultured, and then you hope no one asks specific questions. Then there are current games that have just released and you want to be part of its social scene for whatever reason. Maybe your friend group is into it. Maybe the friend group you want to be a part of is into it. Maybe you have friends that aren't going to talk to anyone but that social scene for months, and if you're not in it with them, then you're not going to hear from them. Whether you're bluffing, or you actually get a game for the sole purpose of playing with others (it's hard to lie about today's multiplayer games, because what do you do when someone asks to play it with you?), there are games you wouldn't otherwise involve your name with if it weren't for...SOCIETY.

I have a specific game in mind: Animal Crossing: New Horizons. The Animal Crossing series aren't my kind of games. I mean, I've spent hundred(s) of hours on Animal Crossing (GameCube) and Animal Crossing: New Leaf. I get why people like them. I won't judge you for being an Animal Crossing fan! It just doesn't fit my time-crunched lifestyle or game preferences. Just check out my live reactions to the Animal Crossing Direct from February. It's dripping with apathy.


Animal Crossing GameCube custom designs door JEW star
This was apparently my attempt at putting a mezuzah on my house door.
...Actually, I don't know why I thought this was a good idea. It's not even a six-sided star?
(Though when I did put a real Star of David on Miiverse, I got banned.)

But here's the issue. A lot of other people are really enthusiastic for Animal Crossing: New Horizons for Nintendo Switch, releasing tonight. A lot of folks that I think it'd be good for me to acquaint with.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE (Part 1) Still Releasing April 10 2020, But...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...the supply chain may be affected by coronavirus.

Last night, I published what turned out to be a very well-timed article about how gamers’ purchasing preferences may be impacted by coronavirus (digital distribution vs physical ownership), and if that might be permanent or temporary. I'm not claiming today that I suddenly know the future, but I am saying that today brings a brilliant example of why it's an important discussion.

I framed the discussion around consumer preference and retailer availability, which you might think of as the “last mile.” But there are many miles preceding that one through the complexities of global supply chains, and SQUARE ENIX brings us this example with their statement on FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE
“Due to the extraordinary circumstances the world is facing with the COVID-19 pandemic, we want to update you on how this will impact the forthcoming release of FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE.

Our priority is the wellbeing and safety of our fans and customers, taking into account regional government and World Health Organization advice.”
Uh oh...

Barret my heart's pounding like a jackhammer FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE Mako Reactor
Did... Did FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE get delayed again? Even corona-cancelled?!

Fortunately, this is how they continued:

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Coronavirus Quarantine to Accelerate Gaming's Digital Download Distribution?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And will it be a temporary phenomenon or a new normal?

One of the biggest macro-trends in the videogame industry is that digital distribution—you download (or even stream, though that's still in early phases with questionable success) a licence of a game from your game system's Internet-connected eCommerce platform and get to play it without owning a physical copy—is on the rise. It's decimated some companies like GameStop that have relied on selling physical game copies and are now trying to diversify into other things.

There are still a number of people—myself included—that greatly prefer physical copies of games over digital licences. Yet even I'm going around telling people they should spend their money on digital licences to the entire Ace Attorney franchise. (By the way, you just lost your chance to take advantage of a dramatically good sale.)

What's happened? Well, people have steadily been okay with the new technology, if only because some games are digital-only, and the digital path has the advantage of vendors’ rewards programs favouring it. Whatever data point you want to look at, be it GameFAQs polls or vendor data (see middle of the document “Digital Sales Indicators” or the below screenshot), the proportions continue to rise.

Monday, March 16, 2020

On the Ground News: Coronavirus Emergency Edition

By KAMEK - Emergency Edition Reporting!

I felt it necessary to keep everyone up to date this week with real on the ground reporting that will cover a wide range, almost disconnected range of topics. Try and keep up with me after the break!


KoopaTV being up there in the highest echelons of social responsibility is a hope and beacon to all other organizations. It's refreshing to see other businesses follow our stance and provide the public with both truth and positivity. So far, my local electric company and water district have sent special emails detailing their intention to combat infection and reassure the public. Even our local garbage company has sent a kindly worded email to assure me, their customer, that they're doing everything that they can to be socially responsible in these trying times. One company I didn't expect to hear from was Yankee Candle:

"In our stores we are committed to 'making every guest happier' and we believe our stores can be an oasis away from what is happening in the world."

"You are like our extended family and we wanted to take a moment to let you know that we are thinking of you and all of those affected by the Coronavirus outbreak."

"We hope that our fragrances can add comfort to your life and your home...especially in times like these."
The use of flowery language here is at least on brand.



Florida Senator Marco Rubio sent the following tweet out, in frustration, I imagine. 

Friday, March 13, 2020

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 18: Cold, desolate experience

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My game experience was honestly meh. Hope my log ain't.

It has certainly been an interesting week on KoopaTV, but we'll end it the same way we've been doing for the past several months (though it hasn't felt like that long): with KoopaTV Fitness Fridays featuring Ring Fit Adventure!

I finally increased my difficulty level to the maximum amount: Level 30. Now... let's fight through World 18: The Iceman Flexeth! The first level is called Shivering Valley, and we encounter an underdressed woman named Thermia whose only form of communication is shivering at us. Our stated mission is “Search for warm things!”

Ring Fit Adventure Shivering Valley World 18 Iceman Flexeth Wing Ability winter cold shorts
Ring admonished Thermia's lack of clothing, but has he seen what I'm wearing? That's not appropriate for winter.

Most of the level was just flying around (Shivering Valley is not a new level design but a palette swap level) and getting a French Onion Soup recipe (which prevents monsters from appearing with onions and cream cheese), but there was a Garnet Belldog forced fight at the very end. Not a miniboss. Just a regular durable enemy. It dropped a steaming-hot hand warmer (with monster drool) which defrosted Thermia. She told us that her friend is frozen and in distress too, at Wintry Watchtower.

To my surprise, there's a Berserk Robocycle there (I thought we wouldn't see them after World 17!). To my even greater surprise, Thermia's friend is Honey from the General Store!

Thursday, March 12, 2020

What Does the Return of the XFL Mean For Gaming, and What Could Gaming Mean to the XFL?

By HEAVY LOBSTER - This was written before coronavirus got everything canceled. I hope the league can come back next year.

Recently, the new XFL launched as a spring football league, the most recent in a long string of attempts to alternatives to the NFL. The early impressions so far have been positive, and while TV ratings are far lower than the typical NFL game, they’re fairly solid for a niche league trying to establish itself. And perhaps more importantly, the word-of-mouth reviews have generally been positive, with the pace of play being noticeably faster compared to the NFL. In spite of the historical obstacles to smaller leagues gaining traction, there’s a good amount of optimism that this time will be different, thanks to Vince McMahon pledging $500 million of his own money to the cause.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Welcome Heavy Lobster to KoopaTV's Staff!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yeah, we went and hired a robot.

We have been trying to get a new content writer on KoopaTV for a long time now. I am pleased to announce that we have hired Heavy Lobster! His posts will be marked by this avatar:

It's adorable. Now, KoopaTV has a known affinity for crabs, and lobsters are not crabs, but Heavy Lobster transcends that biological preference. ...It's also a robot, so maybe there's not much biology going on.

You may know Heavy Lobster as one of the mechanical guardians of the Halberd, the battleship controlled and operated by Meta Knight that also was designed to look like Meta Knight. I'm very good friends with the pilot of the Halberd, Captain Vul. I am literally Captain Vul's biggest fan. I'm one of about three people to have requested Captain Vul be in Kirby Star Allies as a Dream Friend. I've always considered Heavy Lobster to be cool, too.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Heavy Lobster spirit Ludwig Von Koopa Tauros
The terms in which we managed to get Heavy Lobster from the Halberd crew are confidential.

Right now, one of Heavy Lobster's biggest duties between the transition from Halberd employee to KoopaTV employee is to complete the disinfecting of the Halberd of coronavirus and anything else, for the benefit of the Halberd's folks. You don't look at Heavy Lobster and think it's a cleaning robot, but Meta Knight is a germophobe. Why do you think he has a mask?

Heavy Lobster is also a talented painter, and might be able to revive my fledgling Ludwig Painting business

Can a combat/cleaning/painting robot succeed on KoopaTV, a commentary site dedicated to truth & levity? We'll find out, but we also have experience with robots on the staff in the past. They don't complain... until they go missing and are never seen again. That happened nearly two years ago to the day, and we'll take much better care of Heavy Lobster!


Heavy Lobster will publish its first article tomorrow. Get hyped for it. Ludwig didn't ask about its pronouns. Regardless, please give Heavy Lobster a friendly welcome in the comments section! KoopaTV's About and Contact pages have been updated.


Here is Heavy Lobster's first article. Interesting topic, too.

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Mario Celebrates MAR10 With Over 10 Simultaneous Mario Forms

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How are there so many Mario at one time? Let me tell you...

For two decades (think Mario Golf and Mario Tennis on the Nintendo 64), fans of the Mario franchise have been asking: How can Mario and Baby Mario be in the same game? Doesn't that mess things up? There's only one Mario. They're the same person but at different times.

Nowadays, no one thinks in such small, two-person terms anymore. You go around the Mushroom Kingdom and surrounding territories, and there are many Mario. Everywhere. Co-existing. That is a huge problem for the Mario-averse Koopa Kingdom.

Here are the Mario forms just between the two recent mobile titles Mario Kart Tour and Dr. Mario World, as of today, March 10 (or MAR10 Day, as proclaimed by Nintendo):
  1. Mario
  2. Baby Mario
  3. Dr. Mario
  4. Dr. Baby Mario
  5. Dr. Fire Mario
  6. Metal Mario
  7. Gold Mario
  8. Ice Mario
  9. Mario (Musician)
  10. Mario (Hakama) 
  11. Mario (Santa)
  12. Mario (Happi) 
  13. Mario (Classic) 

(If you remove all of the doctors, you get exactly 10 Mario forms for just Mario Kart Tour.)

Mario Kart Tour classic Luigi Bros. clones
I didn't edit this image or anything. This is official from Mario Kart Tour's “Mario Bros. Tour” trailer.
They are co-existing.

Ace Attorney Franchise Sale! March 2020!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Defend the innocent! Ace Attorney titles are currently on sale for up to 70% off.

Today on MAR10 Day, we don't want to just write about a very-guilty mass murderer. (That article will come slightly later today. Yes, two articles in one day.) No, we'd like to promote a man that, despite being currently disbarred for forging evidence, has defended many innocent people falsely accused of murder. That is Phoenix Wright.

Right now, the following games are on sale on the Nintendo eShop from now until 3 AM Eastern March 17 (in addition to select games starring a very-guilty mass murderer, but we won't encourage you to buy those):

  1. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney for $14.99 (Nintendo Switch) or $11.99 (Nintendo 3DS)
  2. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney for $9.99 (Nintendo 3DS)
  3. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies for $8.99 (Nintendo 3DS)
  4. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice for $11.99 (Nintendo 3DS)

All of those are normally $29.99, with the exception of Apollo Justice, which is normally $19.99.

If you have a 3DS, then Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice have free demos that you can try out that will give you a taste of what the series is like. They're a series of linear adventure games with great production values—and moral values. They're the bedrock of KoopaTV's stylistic mannerisms, and have my absolutely highest recommendations.


If you click those links, you can buy the games from the Nintendo eShop from the comfort of your computer. If you need more money in your Nintendo eShop balance, then you should've participated in last month's KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program. Would've been an easy win. The prize for this month's (combined with April's) KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program is $10 in Nintendo eShop money. The 3DS games will not go any lower in price, based on years of tracking these sales. It's unlikely the Switch version will go lower than 50% off anytime soon, or ever.


These games were just on sale at these prices just one month ago.
Here's the second MAR10 2020 article about the guilty mass-murderer.
If you missed out on this sale, there's another CAPCOM sale just two weeks later.

Monday, March 9, 2020

KoopaTV has Led An Opinion Shift on Daylight Saving Time

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Now for that to get into action.

Do you detest Daylight Saving Time (DST, or Daylight Savings Time)? If you're in Asia, you don't care about it except to the extent that it slightly affects international commerce and collaboration—your country doesn't use it. If you're Europe, 84% of 4.6 million of you wanted the clocks to stop changing, described as “the highest number ever received in any public consultation organised by the European Commission.” That'll apparently stop happening by 2021. (That article includes some bizarre sentiment from Britain I'll touch on later.)

Why hasn't America followed suit? The United States has a populist in power in President Donald John Trump, and stopping this nuisance of Daylight Saving Time is a populist position to take. Last year, he tweeted (in response to KoopaTV's earlier attempts to get him to make change), “Making Daylight Saving Time permanent is O.K. with me!” We noted at the time that this wasn't a reliable signal of a policy position, and looked to Andrew Yang's stronger statement as a positive sign. Too bad he's no longer running. The other candidates haven't said a word about this pressing and distressing issue.

Here's some evidence of the growing discontent over Daylight Saving Time among our core audience, gamers (as asked by GameFAQs). Keep in mind that KoopaTV has been against Daylight Saving Time from the beginning:

Friday, March 6, 2020

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 17: Dark Robots and Animals

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If you read this closely, you'll notice Ludwig gets a karmic backlash.

You know what? I'm not a sympathetic protagonist. For all I know, you don't want me to succeed in my Olympic training, and you follow along KoopaTV Fitness Fridays because you find my fitness failures to be particularly funny. Well, you do you. I'm still gonna publish this stuff until I'm done with Ring Fit Adventure's Adventure Mode... and then... I'm not sure what happens. At least I feel motivated.

For many reasons, I wasn't playing Ring Fit Adventure on Sunday or Monday. I was very busy. But I did find time on Tuesday to continue World 17: The Boy Who Howled Wolf. I'll also have you know that I did many errands in the morning and had a lot of fresh-air cardiovascular exercise leading up to my Tuesday night play session.

Our first venture is to Hangon Bridge, which is filled with blue-looking ingredients like raisins, prunes, grapes, blueberries, and black currants. Honey from the General Store is foraging here, but Linus is concerned for her safety given the dangerous animals prowling about. Ms. Honey disregards Linus's concern, believing him to be a liar, so Ring decides we must rescue Honey.

Ring Fit Adventure Green Dark Flamingo World 17 Tree Pose
It's Green Dark Flamingo, trying to contend with my Tree Pose.
(I don't know how it attacks since 24 hits of Tree Pose is enough to subdue it before it fights back.)


We get to discover... the Green Dark Flamingo and the Yellow Dark Fox! These complete the set of dark-influenced animals we first saw with Blue Dark Hart and Red Dark Eagle.

Ring Fit Adventure Blue Dark Hart Yellow Dark Fox World 17
Yellow Dark Fox is a small little animal that you can barely notice. It's not much of a fighter, either.

I suppose I may have some questionable morals if I'd normally jump over monster fights but am willingly going to fight (and slay) stray animals.

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection Music Player Review

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Great music, but the potential is limited by a feature-poor music player.

You should recall that a couple of weeks ago, Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection released on all major platforms. They made a big deal about the soundtrack going into this, with the ten Reploid Remixes DLC as a pre-order bonus.

I pre-ordered Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection despite believing that CAPCOM would later release the ten remixes as free DLC later on. I did it pretty much so I could have access to the entire series soundtrack in a portable manner (obviously I got the Nintendo Switch version). The games are good for their gameplay, too, and at $30, a collection of six high-quality action platformers is worth it. However, when I made the choice to buy it, I was planning to spend most of my time with Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection by treating it as a music player.

Therefore, how good is the in-game Music Player? That's what I'll be reviewing.

Mega Man Zero ZX Collection Music Player Reploid Remixes
Trap Phantasm is one of my favourite songs of any Mega Man game.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Spring 2020 Fighter Usage Stats!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's not actually Spring 2020 yet, but these should be consistent throughout most of the season until the next patch.

Here is what I wrote at the end of my article promoting the just-happened Super Smash Bros. Ultimate North American Online Open Spring 2020:
“It will be very interesting to see how much Byleth's play rate collapses a month and a half after his introduction compared to two weeks after his introduction. I'll certainly publish that data in March.” 

Last month, I published that Byleth became the second-most used character in the online metagame for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate shortly after his release—behind Joker. (Joker has been #1 since his release.) We're now one more month away from that. Has the Byleth proliferation died down, or do they remain popular like the other DLC characters?

First, allow me to congratulate Tearbear (Banjo & Kazooie player from California), Whisky (Robin player from Mexico), YoseFu (Simon Belmont player from Tennessee/Mississippi), and Sharp (Sheik player from Rhode Island) for winning tickets to CEO Dreamland. Wrath, the Sonic player from Georgia, could've won a ticket as well (he was eligible for the cross-region top 8), but he was simultaneously participating in the Wi-Fi Soaked Series Invitational tournament and got $4,000 for getting in second place in that.

Like Battlefy, Smash.gg collects character usage stats, but the tournaments have far less statistical significance due to far less people participating and far less matches occurring. I also believe it's less representative of the online metagame than the North American Online Open series, which has a bigger cross-section of the population due to Nintendo sponsorship and advertisement.

This article seeks to give you actionable information that YOU, an average Super Smash Bros. Ultimate player, can practice with and focus your match-up priorities on. Check out this circle chart, and then keep reading for a text-searchable list:


Super Smash Bros. Ultimate version 7.0.0 fighter character usage popularity Joker most used wi-fi


Tuesday, March 3, 2020

FAKE NEWS CNN: Coronavirus News Network

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They're shameless bastards, so the CNN Meme War continues.

Last week, KoopaTV published our first article about coronavirus and how it's affecting conventions and trade shows in the videogame industry, along with supply chains. It's a necessary topic, and one that immediately got more attention than our other articles that week. It's safe to say that the whole Earth is on edge due to coronavirus, and it's an incredibly scary and uncertain pandemic that everyone is trying to get information on.

The media knows this. Coronavirus and the US election are both bringing in large amounts of views, and if you combine the two, that's even better. But at the very least, advertisement-driven (views-based) outlets have great incentive to try to incorporate coronavirus in as many stories and angles as possible.

Enter FAKE NEWS CNN, the corrupt and sleazy “news” outlet, best known for blackmailing .gif makers. In 2018, we exposed them (and likened them to a certain Pokémon) for omitting key information on a story for the purposes of promoting a Democrat Party, anti-President Donald John Trump narrative.

It turns out that when it comes to coronavirus, CNN is still up to their omitting key facts narrative. They have a great interest in portraying the United States leadership as incompetent in containing coronavirus based on their own media-driven narrative as opposed to actual results, but they also have a great interest in making the American population at large out to be idiots. After all, they have a grudge against the population for having the gall to elect a bumbling bad orange man to be president to begin with.

CNN reported, and this went “viral” (pun intended) on social media, that “the spread of the coronavirus couldn't have come at a worse time for Corona beer”, claiming:

Monday, March 2, 2020

KoopaTV's February 2020 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hey, that went by pretty quick.

It turns out that February 2020 was about 3.57% longer than the median February. That made no impact on KoopaTV whatsoever, and it didn't feel like that extra day—they (the powers that be) refer to 2020 as a “leap year” apparently because you jump over the extra day like it was nothing—made any existential difference. February is still the month with the smallest quantity of KoopaTV content out of any month of the year that doesn't involve a tragedy or crisis that results in reduced output levels.

Our non-Koopa Kingdom audience happens to be in the midst of a pandemic, but if anything, staying home or in a quarantine facility should increase KoopaTV readership and engagement. Not like you're gonna go outside or anything.

Let's check out some of the content from February 2020 that you can find so engaging:

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of February 2020


This chronologically ordered list is of recommended experiences on KoopaTV published during February 2020. The articles not on this list are still worth reading and may even be quite important. I snubbed several important features, in fact.
  1. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Version 7.0.0 (February) Fighter Usage Stats! — Version 7.0.0 of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate made many changes to the metagame. How were these reflected in the character usage stats? Check out all of the activity!
  2. Some (but not all) Pokémon Leakers Found: Lousy Gaming Journalist! — It's incredibly important to KoopaTV that the (gaming) media is held responsible for their wrongdoing, and when they're involved in the detestable action of leaking, they need to be fully transparent.
  3. Help Me Understand Shigeru Miyamoto's Senile Nintendo Video Content Answer — To this day, Ludwig still doesn't understand what Shigeru Miyamoto was trying to say. Hopefully this newsletter will help shed light on this conundrum.
  4. Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 15: Here's A Quiz! — Ludwig's Fitness Fridays series takes an unusual and cerebral walkthrough-like flavour with the curious and quizzical world of Quizton in Ring Fit Adventure.
  5. The Switch Tax Myth, and Devil May Cry 3 Special Edition — Ludwig slays a persistent myth that makes Nintendo owners out to be victims with evidence and logic. 

Friday, February 28, 2020

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 16: Allegra vs. Titanium White, and Steely Buns

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My legs are stubs compared to these girls. (And dragons.)

First of all, I (by accident, obviously) broke the back panel of my Nintendo Switch dock in the making of this article (and playing Ring Fit Adventure), the part that enables it to be flexible and extend on the surface so the dock (with the Switch inside) can be upright. It can still be upright, but now it's not stable at all. Second of all, welcome to KoopaTV Fitness Friday!

At the end of the Week 15 Fitness Log, we cleared 4 of the courses for the subject of Week 16: World 16: The Steeliest Buns. That leaves... 12 courses to go, along with 10 requests. Yup, very long world. We can't tackle any requests yet due to not passing by the town yet, so let's do this Sunday noon workout...

...Starting with the Game Gym, Squat Goals (Novice). It's also foggy. I thought we'd get rid of the foggy variants from World 14 (which has everything in fog). It's perfectly clear here. Is it foggy just for the robots' amusement? Because this sure isn't fun for me, and it sure isn't good game design.

Ring Fit Adventure Squat Goals novice fog difficulty accessibility contrast
There's tokens on the right side of the screen that is passing by. It's hard to see it in motion, too.

I got 350 coins for it, but this is fake difficulty that discriminates against people who have problems looking at very low-contrast items. I'm dreading when (if) completing this with a perfect score ends up being a request later on. Let's hope the five-round Battle Gym (offering the Black-Currant Smoothie Recipe, as well as access to an overworld chest) is more fun. And it was, comparatively. Took 10 turns, which is fine. The Black-Currant Smoothie Recipe requires 3 Black Currants (I only have 1) and it increases Blue Fit Skill power by ↑↑. The treasure chest only had one Sapphire, which is a garbage reward.

Next up is...a MINIBOSS.

Thursday, February 27, 2020

2020 Pokémon of the Year Results... and a Zarude?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How far are we from the mainstream? ...Is that a good thing?

It feels pretty trite to talk about Pokémon Day, and even more so to cover the Pokémon Day “2020 Pokémon of the Year” (we just started 2020!) by talking about our own favourite Pokémon. But that's what people want to see coverage about, so, whatever.

I know my favourite Pokémon from each region. I know Kamek's, too. And I know the general population's (at least, the top 30). I'll just make a table of it:

Region Ludwig's Favourite Placing Kamek's Favourite Placing World's Favourite
Kanto Tauros Outside of Top 30 Snorlax 11 Charizard
Johto Miltank Outside of Top 30 Quagsire 22 Umbreon
Hoenn Grovyle 24 Wailmer Outside of Top 30 Rayquaza
Sinnoh Staraptor 16 Torterra 12 Lucario
Unova Bouffalant Outside of Top 30 Sawk Outside of Top 30 Chandelure
Kalos Hawlucha 12 Pumpkaboo 24 Greninja
Alola Tapu Bulu Outside of Top 30 Mudsdale 26 Mimikyu
Galar Wooloo 9 Snom 4 Dragapult


Johto, Unova, and Kalos all are regions without one of its highest-evolution starters in the top 30 (poor Meganium, Emboar, and Chesnaught, respectively). Alola, Hoenn, and Sinnoh are the regions with the most positively-favoured highest-evolution starters (Decidueye at 3rd, Incineroar at 6th, and Primarina at 8th; Sceptile at 4th, Blaziken at 5th, and Swampert at 11th; Infernape at 5th, Empoleon at 9th, and Torterra at 12th respectively).

As for Kanto and Galar, they have Venusaur and Rillaboom barely at 28th and 29th, respectively. I get the impression that Grass is the least popular starter type. I mean, I always kind of knew that, but oh well. Grass has always been my favourite starter type. And clearly, my pro-bovine bias isn't popular among the rest of the fanbase. Greninja was the most popular overall.

While Dragapult isn't even officially announced by The Pokémon Company International, we did get an official announcement today of a new, Mythical Pokémon: