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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Zelda Wii U Delayed... so what?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Did anyone expect it to come out in 2015?

Last week, the world of The Legend of Zelda fans exploded: The long-awaited Nintendo Wii U iteration of the franchise (Wind Waker HD not counting) was DELAYED. Or, at least, no longer locked into a 2015 time-table. (In layman's terms, that means it's coming out after 2015.) Apparently, it was announced to come out in 2015 during The Game Awards and we didn't remember it from that event, but The Game Awards 2014 was a horrible waste of time anyway (to the point where I put the KoopaTV staff member whose idea it was to watch it on indefinite unpaid leave).

For more information, here is Eiji Aonuma, The Legend of Zelda producer.


So... He is basically allowing feature/scope-creep to direct the project, rather than sticking to the budget and time-table. On one hand, you can cheer to be able to eventually play "the ultimate Zelda game", but on the other hand, as the producer, it was Aonuma's job to NOT have this scope-creep be a thing.

For a reminder of what the producer is supposed to do, take another look at Masahiro Sakurai's New Years Resolution for 2014. (That he succeeded at.) 
"Key phrase: Completion
Resolution: I resolve to complete development on Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS/Wii U and release it in 2014."

Monday, March 30, 2015

Fire Emblem: Awakening Club Nintendo Code Scavenger Hunt

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - First Chrom, first served.

One of my 2015 resolutions is to play Fire Emblem: Awakening on the Nintendo 3DS. You know, the copy I got during E3 2013. And never opened. UNTIL YESTERDAY NIGHT.

Inside the box of Fire Emblem Awakening Nintendo 3DS recycled contents retail
How long will it take me to put the game into my 3DS?

As a reminder, you have until 3/31/2015 11:59 PM PT for all Club Nintendo codes to be redeemed on your Club Nintendo account. So behind that picture of Chrom, there is a 14-character (not including 3 hyphens) code that will give you some amount of Club Nintendo coins. 40, I think. But you can do a survey and get 10 more!

So, because we like giving things away (there is this entire KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program thing where we're giving away the Club Nintendo catalog along with Nintendo eShop money and anyone is able to participate in it) I want to give out this Fire Emblem: Awakening code, too. It won't do me any good by holding onto it. So you can have it.

We just have a "fun" way to get it, dear KoopaTV players (and social media carpetbaggers who won't come back after this)! So after the page-break, you will have... a scavenger hunt! Fun!

Friday, March 27, 2015

ISIS Invasion of KoopaTV Universe

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is what happened to the TV Troopas and Noxial.

You hopefully are wondering about where the hell Noxial, Devin, and Claira have been. After all, we hired them to be KoopaTV's Marketing people but they seemed to have disappeared at the end of February and are still gone in March.

We have obviously been concerned about this and have been investigating the disappearances. We are now ready to dedicate a whole day's article to our findings. ...You ready? It's still hard to say, but...

Noxial has joined up with ISIS. You know, the terrorists that we've dedicated a few articles to before. She now looks something like this:

Koopie Koo is a hijab burqa Paper Mario
At least she's still 65x65 pixels.
We still do not know the status of our TV Troopas, but it's assumed that Noxial took them on her trip to Iraq. Or Syria. We've done such a bad job investigating that we don't know where she actually is. (If you would like to fund KoopaTV's investigation arm to be somewhat competent, buy some overpriced KoopaTV merchandise here!) We do have more information, and a way to try to connect this to "Women's History Month" week.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The Trail-Blazing, Brave Women of Sexy Poker

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV supports the cast of Sexy Poker.

Today, I'm going to discuss the Gameloft game Sexy Poker, which came out on the WiiWare service in 2009. I did a Let's Play of it, as you may already know. (As you may also already know, it's all Kamek's fault.) The only characters in Sexy Poker are the women, and the only other objects of interest are their clothes and the cards that you play Poker with. (Or Blackjack.) According to my Let's Play, the anime-styled women were voiced by men. (In reality, they're actually females.)


So... what's there to talk about? The game is garbage. The music is pretty nice, but it's apparently not uploaded to YouTube. Well, we're going to talk about the women themselves and their decisions and accomplishments, because we're continuing KoopaTV's "Women's History Month" week!

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Gender Identity and Toads

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Genderfluid, she/him. Get it right or I'll be triggered.

Some time ago, a ridiculous person claiming to be an authoritative developer of Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (Koichi Hayashida, to be exact) claimed that the Toad species is genderless and apparently sexless as well.

KoopaTV is continuing its series of articles dedicated to "Women's History Month" week. Nintendo also got in the act with this poster:


It's unclear who Toadette is referring to when she says "we".

Last time I checked, unless Gender Studies professors and tumblr. "experts" changed things, women are females. If Toadette is there to celebrate Women's History Month and every other person on these posters is unquestionably female, then it's pretty likely Toadette is also female.

That interview with Mr. Hayashida was November 17. 4 days later, his reckless act of retconning got overturned by Super Smash Bros. For Wii U. Behold:

Toadette trophy Super Smash Bros. 4 For Wii U description
"This lady" "her debut" "she's shown" "She loves" "she's quite" "She's also". Definitely female.

So... what about the other Toads?

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

George Zimmerman's taste in women: Mario fans?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm finally starting to see why everyone else in the world has something against George Zimmerman.

KoopaTV has done some investigative reporting on the woman who lied about getting a wine bottle thrown at her by George Zimmerman to get her out of a traffic ticket.

While we never found out the answer of, "Did she actually pay the ticket?" we did find something deeply, deeply disturbing. And we don't consider "She was in a relationship with George Zimmerman and lived with him" to be disturbing.

LOOK AT HER POSE WITH THAT FIRE FLOWER.

You don't see ME posing with Fire Flowers, do you? And she is obviously a fan of the Mario brothers, the same bastards who are well-known in Koopa Kingdom (and by you and the rest of the universe) as the terrorists who continually make the lives of my family miserable.

You can see from the time-stamp that this was before she became George Zimmerman's roommate, meaning this was past history with her. Meaning that he knew full well that the woman we are referring to as "Ms. BB" (to moderately respect her privacy) was a supporter of that punk plumber and his pals... and dare I say, chose her because of this.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Voice Acting of Defend Anita Sarkeesian

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And sound effects.

Besides a Let's Play video (and if you do one of those, you get a big bonus in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program), the last thing we can do to promote Defend Anita Sarkeesian is releasing all the voice-acting and sound effects for the game.

Here you go:


Gonna admit, these are really fun to listen to, even if there is substantially less voicework than Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!.

Also heads (and hands) up: Because March is Women's Month or something, every article for this last full week of March 2015 is going to have some sort of focus on women. Obviously, a game about defending the life of Anita Sarkeesian, a feminist icon, is focused on a woman. So the voice-acting and sound effects from said game also counts.

Defend Anita Sarkeesian voice-acting sound effects Bendilin VA
Even if more than half the voice-acting in the game is just Bendilin.
There isn't much to really reflect on with Defend Anita Sarkeesian besides how amusing it is to watch people be even more confused by it than they were with Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!.

You should also anticipate KoopaTV to have a "Games" tab sometime in the future just to list the games we've made. It just needs to be worded in a way that people know they are free games developed by KoopaTV that you can play on KoopaTV. Imagine how nebulous a tab called "Games" would be in a blog about "Games"... Maybe you could get the impression that the tab would contain a list of videogames we talk about on KoopaTV? (Maybe we SHOULD have such a list?)

It's a unique problem for KoopaTV, since those other videogame commentary sites don't do this sort of game-making activity. It's a differentiating factor for sure!


What will KoopaTV's next game be? Will it even be a digital game? Stay tuned.


It wasn't digital if you count a scavenger hunt as a game.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Miyamoto: Still Clueless on F-Zero; Still Should Retire

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I had to watch obnoxious Smosh people to make this article.

I feel absolutely justified that, for our Best KoopaTV Article of 2014 award, we gave it to Are We Too Harsh On Miyamoto?. Why? Because right after we sent a message out signaling that an anti-Miyamoto article is more important to KoopaTV than, say, an anti-feminist article or something, Miyamoto and Bill Trinen go out to talk with those Smosh dudes while playing Mario Kart 8 about various topics, including the F-Zero series.


The relevant part for this article (I'll get to sort-of-interesting stuff at the very end) starts at 5:24. The Smosh dude asks if Captain Falcon, Samus, and Mr. Saturn (what a strange list) will get more games in the future.

Miyamoto answers that since other companies are making traditional, realistic racing games (see E3 2013 where it was nothing but cars), what Nintendo wants to do is counter that with a "gamey" (arcade?) racing experience. Miyamoto then follows up by saying, "maybe if we create a new type of controller interface, and we find a controller interface that's particularly suited for F-Zero, then maybe we'll do something again with it in the future."

...What? Then they made a segue to Star Fox on Wii U which will be a disaster for another article.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Metal Gear Solid: The Review

By SUPERDEKU - Read this Guest Poster's review about one helluva gem!

Metal Gear Solid is a game that's widely renowned, well-known, and loved for revolutionizing storytelling in video games and for "inventing" or pioneering the stealth genre. The game can out in 1998 for the PlayStation from publisher Konami, and is almost 20 years old, so a review nowadays is pretty common, apparently. However, one review can change it all, and I'll prove that point!

The North American boxart for the game.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Wait To Play... Ludwig likes it?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I confess the guilty pleasure.

You wouldn't expect it and neither would I, but it's a thing: I actually like Pokémon Shuffle. Strangest thing of all, I actually have an appreciation for its wait-to-play nature. The same kind of abusive free-to-play practice I heavily criticised when Electronic Arts does it for Need For Speed: No Limits. Does my hypocrisy know no bound?

To be fair to myself, Nintendo has been asking players to take breaks for years now, breaking ground in the videogame industry by politely asking players to stop playing.

We're past the point of politeness.
But most players did not take a break, apparently represented by jumping out a window. And so, Nintendo got upset with players.

And now, you must take a break with Pokémon Shuffle or be fined for it. Enforced breaks (Pokémon Shuffle has you take 30 minute breaks for... about 6 minutes of gameplay and then 30 minute breaks for 1 minute of gameplay thereafter) prevent all sorts of videogame-induced problems. These include everything in Health & Safety Information, including vision damage, seizures, eyestrain, and motion sickness. It also stops videogame addiction. You cannot die by sitting in front of a videogame for days on end (as some people have done) if the videogame does not let you play it for even minutes on end.

Hm, imagine if Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day was rereleased now. Would it be a wait-to-play game? 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Nintendo's Official Mobile Entrance

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - With great fanfare comes great terror.

It is very important for you to be educated on the facts, so go read up on the News Release transcript of Nintendo's Nintendo Co., Ltd.-DeNA Co., Ltd. Business and Capital Alliance Announcement. If you first heard today's news from any source other than this primary source, chances are you have been deceived or lied to on some aspect of it. KoopaTV stands for the truth, so we want to get that of the way. For a summary, see the press release from DeNA.

So here is what happened, as you just read from that transcript: Nintendo and DeNA, a mobile platform solutions company, are in an alliance to deliver Nintendo IPs to mobile devices. DeNA also will help with some sort of unified membership account system set to launch by the end of 2015.

There is also this codenamed "NX" thing but there is
literally
nothing to discuss about it at this present time.


We don't know any details about that either, but it is interesting to note what devices are included there, including PC. Does that mean you can access this service (which sounds like a Club Nintendo successor) from a mobile-friendly website? ...Because big deal if that's the case. You can access KoopaTV from a Tablet, Smartphone, PC, Nintendo 3DS, and Wii U! (Not that it's recommended for the first two and the fourth one.)

Monday, March 16, 2015

Removing the lid off retro nostalgia

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The hidden secrets of Ludwig's game-playing past!

Once upon a time, Ludwig was a baby. It's hard to believe. I was an only child for a brief span of time in the Royal Koopa Family, which always had a presence in videogames since this human company called Nintendo thought we were amazing and kept making games based off this family, sort of like what Activision did with the Robertson family and Duck Dynasty. Except it was a series and not a one-time thing. So the Koopas got free games, and also tried to have local game development within Koopa Kingdom. One of which was the game depicted here:

Super Mario Adventures Koopalings play Super Mario Bros. parody videogame
I grew up with games like this.

My (owned by Ludwig, not just the family at large) first videogame console otherwise was an NES. I only had Super Mario Bros., Duck Hunt, and World Class Track Meet on it. Common bundle, but I didn't have anything else on it, personally. (That's why I like Nintendo's tendency to port things.) See the rest of the family's possessions for other games, one of which was Super Mario Bros. 3 which was probably your first introduction to my family. ...I don't think it was a good impression.

Speaking of first impressions, let's talk about a company called Man Crates. My first introduction to them was when a friend said she got a request from them to write about retro gaming nostalgia. They're trying to sell this Retro Gamer Man Crate, basically a container you have to open with a crowbar to get goodies like sugary snacks and two NES games. ...So eventually, they found KoopaTV and gave us the same request. Well, sure!

Friday, March 13, 2015

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Wil Wheaton Babbling about Code Name S.T.E.A.M.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think we're done with this game by now.

After advising you that Code Name S.T.E.A.M. probably is not worth your time (unless you reaaaally liked the demo), Nintendo was like, we are going to hold a Twitch event featuring Wil Wheaton who voice-acted Abraham Lincoln.

So we halfheartedly watched it and reacted to it. I'm Nintendork 13 13, Rawk is Rawk, and Vortexica is that breezinabout name.

If you missed the event, you can (re)watch it here. We don't really recommend it. You're not going to want the game if you didn't want it before, and you probably won't care about this if you actually do want it.

Happy Friday the 13th from KoopaTV!

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Have a DOUBLE FEATURE.





Defend Anita Sarkeesian Sneasel Pokémon Harry Potter Goblet of Fire Nancy Pelosi Mitch McConnell United States Congress Bendilin Ben Spurr GamerGate
Two awesome music videos if you See More!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Code Name S.T.E.A.M.? Get Ace Attorney on sale instead!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Code Name S.T.E.A.M. is getting some deservedly bad reviews.

It is clear that I got off on the wrong claw with Code Name S.T.E.A.M.. I mean, look at our live reactions when it was first "revealed"... behind closed doors. And that whole conference was just full of misinformation to the folks on the outside. To this day, it's unclear why Code Name S.T.E.A.M. was revealed in secrecy when Nintendo was revolutionising every other part of E3 (besides Pac-Man's reveal, which was behind closed doors to prevent a riot) with its wonderfully transparent Treehouse Live series.

After E3 ended, it was a running gag in the [Koopa Keep] AIM Blast (and thus in our live reaction logs) that I kept forgetting Code Name S.T.E.A.M. even existed. It was weird, sure, but it wasn't exactly memorable. It was this sort of drab, slow, not very colourful game that we didn't even have a grand showing for.

Then I suddenly remembered it existed and realised, hey, wow, this game is coming out this quarter. So here's an article trashing its amiibo usage as threatening to canon, and then another article expanding on that a month later in huge detail.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

#IStandWithPhils

By RAWKHAWK2010 - A simple philosophy.

few weeks ago, something happened called CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference). Ludwig would know more about that than me, but I do know Phil Robertson was there, and Phil Robertson is an alright dude. He knows the value of Southern culture -- not the yuppie, carpetbag culture you're probably familiar with (aka indoor swimming pools, dog sled racing, and not waving at neighbors), but something with a little more heart. One that embodies things like faith, family, and grocery chains with silly names. (That first thing I could take or leave, but the third gets me more excited than fired ex-staffer YoshiRider123 at the eShop update screen.)

Duck Dynasty 3DS may be on eShop, but good ol' Southern values can't be bought!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Mario: Racist Oppressor! Cow Hater!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - See his cow policy at Moo Moo Meadows.

MARCH 10 has been deemed "MAR10 Day" for years. It was basically a holiday back at the old Nintendo NSider Forums. If we are shaming the governments of Earth for manipulating one hour of the year, then we should shame that plumber and his corporate sponsors for manipulating an entire day!

Yours truly, the prince of Koopa Kingdom, went ahead and performed an undercover investigation (and then a raid) on Moo Moo Meadows. It turns out that Moo Moo Meadows is hiding a deep, multi-coloured secret... of racism.

We got pictures. ...And we know who is behind it! 


Mario Kart 8 Moo Moo Meadows Mario Kart Wii
A cute chocolate cow... Behind the fence?

Monday, March 9, 2015

Daylight Savings Time dooms the world

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is the way the world ends / This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but with Daylight Savings Time.

Did you "spring forward" an hour yesterday? If you didn't, then you're either in Arizona, Hawaii, Saskatchewan, somewhere not in our target audience (we love you, Japan!), or you... FORGOT! And if you're under that last bit, well, you're screwed! You're probably late to school or work. It's better to not show up at all than to show up late, so get a doctor's note and spend the rest of the day reading KoopaTV articles and getting points for the Loyalty Rewards Program.

Daylight Savings Time is one of the worst times of the year. It's an arbitrary (if it wasn't, it wouldn't be able to be changed so easily) time where you adjust every clock in your house or office an hour ahead or an hour back. You hate when it's an hour ahead (like yesterday) and feel slightly better when it's an hour back, since you "get an extra hour of sleep". That hour you spent sleeping is really wasted finding all the clocks and changing them, though.

Remember: Since the GameCube, Nintendo systems have had a timer on them. So you better change the internal times to your 3DS and Wii U and any other game system you still use from the past decade, since they sure don't do it automatically!

Friday, March 6, 2015

Now Introducing...the KoopaTV Store!

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Must-haves for any KoopaTV fan!

At last, it is upon us. Following years of humble experimentation (to bring you the Truth and Levity our readers deserve), we at KoopaTV would like to announce that our organization is now set to enter the next frontier.

...MERCHANDISE.


(Last Updated: 10/21/2015.) 

Note 10/21/2015: With Rawk's departure, the KoopaTV Store is currently without a proprietor, so we cannot take your orders. Our apologies.

All items are prepared and ready to ship. So without further ado, our first wave:



KoopaTV coffee mug Koopa Paper Mario cup

KoopaTV Mug
$30.00 USD

KoopaTV has articles daily so that you can start your morning right. But caffeine is important too, so get the most out of your morning ritual with a high-impact ceramic KoopaTV mug!

  • Custom cast.
  • 14 fluid ounce capacity.
  • 4.25" tall, 4" wide (5" with handle).
  • Dishwasher and microwave safe (though these might shorten its longevity...a lot).

KoopaTV baby outfit shirt Sierra Leone

KoopaTV Baby Creeper
$14.95 USD

“That’s a really down-to-earth and politically-informed outfit!”, you’ll hear from the other mommies when they see your tyke’s one-of-a-kind KoopaTV bodysuit. Offer includes not only the shirt, but also the baby!* -- produced right here in our Sierra Leone office.

  • 5.5 oz. 100% cotton (Heather contains 10% polyester) jersey.
  • Ribbed crew neck.
  • Reinforced three snap closure.

*while supplies last
*non-refundable 
KoopaTV album cover Katy Perry One of the Boys

KoopaTV's Greatest Hits
$24.95 USD

Jam out to your favorite KoopaTV tunes with KoopaTV's GREATEST HITS. Track listing is as follows:

1. I Have a Dream 
2. A Sonnet for Sakurai
3. Password
4. The Shell-Spangled Banner
5. Get a Gun
6. Baby It's Cold Outside (So Read KoopaTV!)
7. Koopasentai
8. The Fresh Prince Of Koopa Kingdom
9. Ain't No Koopa High Enough

  • Dimensions: 5.5” x 0.5” x 7.44”.
Trayvon Martin Little Mac Adam Pollock Al Sharpton Chinese food take out Punch-Out!!

Trayvon Tyson's Take-Out!! 
$54.95 USD (Quantity: 10)

Read every KoopaTV article but still hungry for more? Then order up some Trayvon Tyson's Take Out!!. Each box comes filled with a random assortment of foods pulled from our finest Sierra Leonean cuisine, ranging from krin-krin-and-fish-balls to...unprocessed leaves and roots. (Gird your loins, kids.)

  • Dimensions: 2” x 2.75” x 2”.
  • Approved by Michelle Obama's Starve-the-Kids Committee. 
Anita Sarkeesian Bendilin Ben Spurr jigsaw puzzle

Defend Anita Sarkeesian 10x14 Puzzle
$14.95 USD

And all the king's horses, and all the king's men...couldn't put Bendy together again. But maybe you can!

  • Size: 10" x 14" (252 pieces).
  • Includes beautiful gift box with puzzle image printed on lid.
  • Sturdy cardboard stock, mounted on chipboard.
  • Easy wipe-clean surface.
Barbie Devil Poker Chips betting

Barbie Devil Poker Chips 
$8.99 USD (25 Piece) 

Get 'em while they're hot! Inspired by the latest KoopaTV IP, these chips are eye-catching as well as classy -- and might even elicit warm, fuzzy feelings of a certain Sexy WiiWare game. (*sizzle*)

  • Clay Composite.
  • 14 grams.
sea turtle wall analog clock

TV Troopas Wall Clock
$35.00 USD

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for former KoopaTV staffers Claira and Devin, time is eternity. 

  • 2 sizes: 8" diameter (medium) or 10.75" diameter (large).
  • Not DST-compatible.

And last but not least...
Dog turtle shell shirt t-shirt motivational

KoopaTV "Glimmer of Hope" T-Shirt
$28.95 USD

You wanted it, you got it! Accompanied by a cool dog, just like the lad asked. (We also have male fit varieties, but with far less inventory since males make up a considerably smaller percentage of the KoopaTV audience.)

  • Model is 5’9” and is wearing a medium.
  • Runs small; order 1-2 sizes larger for a looser fit.
  • 100% Fine Jersey cotton construction (Heather Grey contains 10% Polyester).
  • Durable rib neckband.
  • No dogs/blogs were hurt in the making of this shirt.

See anything from Wave 1 that strikes your fancy? Submit all order inquiries in the comments section below!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Free To Play...Station 4?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The dangerous business model ensnaring the console market.

One thing the console wars mentality gives us is a sense of camaraderie. Like the Trinity of Magic in Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn. Dark magic beats Anima magic, Anima magic beats Light, and Light magic beats Dark magic. Within Anima, there is another triangle: Wind magic beats Thunder magic, Thunder beats Fire magic, and Fire beats Wind. Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft are like the Anima magic, while PC gaming and mobile gaming are Dark and Light. (No word on exactly what magic they each correspond to... it's not important. You're free to comment your speculation on it, though.) We all don't like each other in console wars mentality, but we can team up against our greater sector competitors.

Unfortunately, this camaraderie is breaking down. One example is that Sony, with its PlayStation 4 (supposedly it has now sold over 20 million of them, making it the dominant market leader), is fully embracing the free-to-play model, which is traditionally the domain of the mobile sector. This is according to Sarah Thompson at the 2015 Game Developers Conference. She is, according to GameSpot, a "senior account executive for PlayStation's free-to-play business". You know what that means? Sony has an entire DIVISION dedicated to free-to-play. And you know what that means? The cancerous environment plaguing mobile games is coming to a console near you!

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Meme Run ran away off Wii U

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Cause: Acts of stupidity. Effect: Removal.

Infamously bad game Meme Run from Nintendo indie developer Ninja Pig Studios was removed this week from the Nintendo eShop. It also had its community removed from Miiverse, as well as its game description on Nintendo.com. KoopaTV first wrote about this disaster when it was first announced, telling you to instead play PC Game of the Year A Koopa's Revenge 2. It came out on December 18, 2014. So it lasted, y'know, two and a half months.

So am I happy? Sure! It was a terrible game. It attracted a lot of Miiverse's morons in a few centralised communities, I guess. Its developer, Jordan, regularly [ab]used his Verified User status (which he still has) to make announcements to Miiverse full of spammy content. Miiverse has a "Posts From Verified Users" section that is prominently provided at the Communities tab. Jordan often appears here. (Jordan is well aware of his Miiverse strategy to attract kids (8-14 years old, according to Jordan). "I would relate to kids through what they like." However, he believes that YouTube drives sales, not Miiverse.)

So you're left wondering: How did Meme Run survive Nintendo's approval process, and why is it taken down? We have answers to... at least one of those. Oh, and thoughts on Jordan's thought process.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Go ape with Donkey Kong Country! And Land!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - EXPAND your horizons.

If you are reading this article now, then it is too late for you to take advantage of the Nintendo eShop deal where you can buy an $8 Donkey Kong Country Virtual Console title and save $15 off Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (which had the best soundtrack of 2014). But hey, Nintendo notified you on your Wii U and/or Nintendo 3DS, though apparently system messages aren't enough to get your point across.

Either way, Donkey Kong Country 1-3 and Donkey Kong Land 1-3 are out on Wii U Virtual Console and 3DS Virtual Console, respectively. Here's Nintendo's video on it:



...Why is this article-worthy? Well, because the Donkey Kong Country SNES games had a bit of a... unique situation while on the Wii.

Monday, March 2, 2015

KoopaTV and the February Fortunes

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A brief detour back into our old way of titling these.

As we've said a bunch of times last month, we did not exist in February 2014. That would've been our first February if we were around, so now THIS was our first February! So back to old naming schemes just for now. And what a nice February it was.

By the way, the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program began yesterday. ...You better get on that, since this is lasting from March 1st to May 30th. You can envision how getting an early advantage now before people have heard of this or before people appreciate how easy it will be to get free stuff will be very... profitable for you. So I think the big plans we said we'd announce last month during February actually happened. We got the Loyalty Program. We got three new hires to our staff. That's all significant stuff, and we also brought you great articles. So here are five of my most recommended articles from February 2015, in chronological order:
  1. Are Our Soundtracks Safe?
  2. Mainstream Media Bias Against New 3DS
  3. Dawn of A New Day: The Majora's Mask 3D release
  4. Ike and Abe? That'd never happen.
  5. Nintendo shouldn't buy Third Party IPs
All the articles last month, and on KoopaTV in general, are totally worth reading. We strive to bring you high quality material delivered in high quality prose. Truth and levity are our call words!

We just want more from you, the reader. And now we're bribing you through our Loyalty Rewards Program to get that from you. After all, we love reader feedback, and we love new people. ...'cause we want to specifically avoid echo chambers. They're warm and cozy but they sort of ruin your ears after a while. We also love giving.

By the way, the About Page has been updated with a fancy new chart that aims to prove we're Fair & Balanced. (It's less fancy and more funny, don't worry.) And we'll keep that up as we try to diversify our offerings. Everything we touch is gold, so might as well touch as much stuff as we can!

Touching is Good Kirby Canvas Curse finger Nintendo DS commercial ad campaign
TOUCHING IS GOOD! Leading Kirby into the sewer known as KoopaTV!


Be the finger, and share KoopaTV to anyone you know for them to question your sanity. It's always good to question that once in a while, anyway. And now you get Loyalty Reward points for referring people!


For last month's newsletter, click here.
For next month's newsletter and updated standings for the Loyalty Rewards Program, click here.
For 2016's February newsletter, click here!