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Friday, December 14, 2018

My Nintendo Birthday Offer, 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I didn't take advantage of previous years. How about 2018?

Hot tip: Right now, you can go, without logging into anything, to and download this delicious Kirby wallpaper in four different sizes, including a mobile-looking vertical one.

Kirby Happy Birthday desktop wallpaper cake Waddle Dee
(There are also wallpapers for Super Mario Odyssey, Splatoon 2, and
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but this is the only one made especially for birthdays.)

As you should know, December is my birth month. Nintendo wants to make people feel like they care about your life, so when you register for a My Nintendo account, they take information like your birthday (which they ask for to see if you're an underaged child) and then sometimes use that information to personalise communications to you. That said, how personalised was this e-mail they sent to me?

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Kirby Star Allies Review — Complete Version

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The allies may be stars, but is Kirby Star Allies a shining star of the system?

We made a fairly big deal about the release of Kirby Star Allies when it released for the Nintendo Switch back in March of this year. Since then, Kirby Star Allies has had three substantive updates, adding new game modes, experiences, and content.

I think it's now worth writing a full review of the entire Kirby Star Allies game experience, since I initially refused to write a review until the game was actually complete.

Between the game's release and now, I've accumulated over 105 hours in the game, and have 100% completed everything (100%'ed Story Mode, gone through all the characters in Guest Star mode, all the hearts in Heroes in Another Dimension, completed all of the puzzles in the gallery) with the exception of the very final difficulty mode in The Ultimate Choice. I've gotten... close! But I don't feel that finishing that would impact the rest of this review.

My review won't have spoilers in it, but I also count anything in Nintendo's marketing materials as not a spoiler. Be careful of that. 

Kirby Star Allies title screen version 4.0.0
The title screen of Kirby Star Allies on its final version: 4.0.0. I'll be reviewing this version for you.

Fast Facts

Kirby Star Allies
Nintendo Switch
Published by Nintendo
Developed by HAL Laboratory
Action Platformer
Space Required
3.9 GB via game download
1.0 GB via physical game with updates
ESRB rating
E10+, featuring cartoon violence
Number of Players
Minimum of one, supports co-operative play of up to four players. Local multiplayer only
Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price
59.99 USD

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

How Nintendo Labo Is (Almost Literally) A Trainwreck

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And you thought the Labo would stick to cars, planes, and submarines?

At the end of December 2017, Kamek wrote (yeah, Kamek wrote) about why Amtrak should not exist, providing KoopaTV an expansion of our transportation philosophies by describing trains as one of the worst modes of transportation out there.

Afterwards, the Nintendo Labo decided to test our transportation ideals by announcing the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit. We immediately geared up for war. Things were quiet afterwards... even after the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit hit store shelves. It was really a stealth launch.

Don't mistake quiet for benign, however. Just recently, days following the great American tradition of Thanksgiving, an Amtrak train stopped right after leaving the station. ...It not only stopped, but it was stuck. For six hours.

To be specific, it was an Acela Express going from New York's Penn Station (around 9:40 AM) to Massachusetts's South Station. Amtrak markets the Acela Express as:

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Heroes vs. Villains: The Ultimate Splatfest

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's about the very questions of morality this whole site is about.

Is it okay if I take some time off discussing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate? Alright, let's go back to talking about Splatoon 2. In fact, there's a Splatfest happening this very weekend! Always a popular topic. Alright, what's the subject?

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Super Smash Bros Heroes Villains team news announcement scream
...Oh, the Splatfest is about Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Yesterday's article is all I really want to talk about for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the near future. For now, let's talk about Heroes vs. Villains.

More specifically, let's make this really clear up front. This is KoopaTV. Team Villains literally is fronted by King Bowser. Regardless of how right or wrong it is that Lord Bowser is defined as a villain, he's KoopaTV's primary focus. We must stand by him. There's really no debate about that.

But KoopaTV is all about arguments and debates and opinions, so I guess I gotta present something to you. Allow me to weigh the legitimacy of Off the Hook's arguments, and clue you in about who is likely to win.

Monday, December 10, 2018

First Weekend Thoughts On Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That was a fun KoopaTV staff meeting!

As we've been alluding to for some time now, KoopaTV just concluded a big staff meeting at our Sierra Leone headquarters. We all got together and discussed the site's future and progress, including what to do with our publishing schedule.

We also played a lot of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and ate a lot of chips with salsa. (But not homemade salsa donated by our readers. Store-bought's still pretty good, even in Sierra Leone.) Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a game our whole staff was looking forward to.

I have a lot of things to share about my thoughts, so I'm going to tell you what's on my mind. I'm also giving the opportunity for the other staff members to do the same!

Ludwig's Thoughts

First of all, in case you're wondering about the result of our play, I'm the best Super Smash Bros. player on the staff. It's not even close.

I've only played VS mode, Online, and Classic Mode as of writing. Yeah, I'm going to save Spirits for another time, but it's obvious that the game's in-game prizes and stuff revolve around Spirits. Spirits look to be Trophies, Stickers, and Equipment all put into one collectible.

The game feels incredible to play. It's very smooth. After I unlocked King Bowser (I have a whole article dedicated to my unlocked characters that I'll publish after I actually unlock all the characters), the universal 3-frame jump squat (which, in normal words, means “how much time passes between when the character prepares to jump and when the character is off the ground”) is a huge improvement for my dad, and he feels much faster and better. His work-outs from Wii Fit Trainer for Super Smash Bros. 4 have intensified for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and he's so flexible for someone with a giant shell!

Friday, December 7, 2018

A Smashily-Smashy Smash Bros. Retrospective

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Final article of the week, I wring thee forth.

Unlike with the fourth one, I can say I'm really feeling Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I complained for years that Smash 4's myriad of assets had no actual application in terms of single-player content ('tis a similar complaint I have with Mario Kart 8), and it looks like Ultimate will be addressing that concern thoroughly.

To celebrate the game's release I thought hey, why not look back on the series from perspectives relevant to fellow staffers and my interactions with them over the years? (Sound güd? Sounds güd!)

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to The Game Awards 2018

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Brought to you... GLOBALLY! Around the WORLD!

We are joined today by Ludwig, Kamek, Witch, friendly-neighborhood non-staffer Ryudragon, and myself. (Wendy's not dead but was eating dinner or something.) Nintendo hyped The Game Awards 2018, and I got almost all of the staff to watch the whole thing even though I was the only one who wanted to. (Ryu did too, if only for Metroid, which you'll have to read the log to see if that happened.)

Surely there are some great announcements here, right? We bring you our full reaction log to The Game Awards 2018, hosted by Geoff Keighley, and guest-starring Donald Mustard. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to host it the night before the release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate?

Wednesday, December 5, 2018


By RAWKHAWK2010 - Might as well give the influencer their due.

If you've been paying attention over the course of the past...half-week, you will have noticed that Day 1 was Ludwig being uncertain about KoopaTV's future via the November 2018 newsletter and Day 2 was me publishing three articles in one day without telling anyone. You could say December 4th was a prolific day in KoopaTV history. Someone in the newsletter comments thought it was because I felt guilty for not publishing anything on three "Rawk Tuesdays" in a row (and that I had actually written all three in a little over 12 hours as if I was even capable of doing that), but naaaaaaaaah. Here's what I commented in response:

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Insight into the World of Light; What Happened to Wendy and for Whom Does She Fight?

By RAWKHAWK2010 - I... I'm seeing something!

If Shulk had cared more about Wendy O. Koopa during his World of Light omnicide Vision, then the above is what he would have seen. Wendy, who wasn't present onsite, would have been seen at home playing MapleStory 2. I know because *I* saw it and with my own two present-day eyes. Plus that would have been a good guess to make anyways.

Unfortunately, what happens to Wendy at the end is kinda sorta officially her fault. Yes, there's almost no chance she could have escaped regardless when not even Bayonetta or Palutena could (and for reasons (allegedly) put forth by Sakurai that I still can't comprehend), but we'll never be 100% sure because of how impressively-focused Wendy was on things that weren't the pressing matters and the signs that pointed to them. The sky was unusually bright. Bowser hadn't been home in days! But Wendy's priorities still laid elsewhere.


By RAWKHAWK2010 - Yeah, those.

After suddenly remembering Mii can be made on the Switch (no joke, for months I thought Mii Maker was retired and that the Mii in people's Switch avatars had either come across on amiibo or were just already affiliated with the Nintendo Accounts in question. Don't ask me how I expected Switch-only owners to acquire one.), I recently began drafting a Mii Fighter army for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I've had a pretty good time, and with only three days til release I figured I'd show some of them off.

Now then, less words and more pictures!

Kasandra from Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Kasandra Mii Xenoblade Chronicles 2