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Friday, April 19, 2019

Genius Prosecutor Reveals Crooked Attorney

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ace Attorney stands to lose his reputation and media placements.

(LOS ANGELES, California) Mere hours ago at the Los Angeles District courthouse, Courtroom No. 7, there was a stunning outcome in the trial of Zak Gramarye (40), a member of the famous magician group Troupe Gramarye. Mr. Gramarye had been accused of murdering the sickly head of the Troupe, Magnifi Gramarye (67), in order to have the rights of his magic.

After noon local time, Zak Gramarye's defence attorney, Phoenix Wright (~26), had presented a critical piece of evidence implicating Zak's fellow troupe member, Valant Gramarye (37), for the murder—a missing page from Magnifi's diary. Upon presenting the evidence, the prosecutor in the case, young 17-year old fresh-out-of-law-school Klavier Gavin, asked for the trial to move to closed doors away from public viewing.

When the trial reconvened, the Judge was ready to call a verdict, but Zak Gramarye vanished from the courthouse and is still on the loose. Thus, no verdict was declared.

KoopaTV has exclusive insight into what transpired in that private setting. We won't reveal our methods and sources, but we will reveal the result and fallout.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Mysterious Prosecutor Godot; Now A Spirit Battle!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Blacker than a moonless night, hotter and more bitter than Hell itself...

Yesterday's release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate's Version 3.0 shows how seriously that development team is integrating downloadable content (DLC) into the game, with the first Challenger Pack being Joker and his Persona series. One of the things they've done is add several new Persona Spirits to the game, with a special DLC Spirit Board where you can do battles with these Spirits any time you want. (If you don't have the DLC you can still buy them from the Vault's store.)

At KoopaTV, we've been looking ahead to Challenger Pack 2 since the beginning of the month, since it features Phoenix Wright and our beloved Ace Attorney franchise. We've already done two Spirit Battles with Ace Attorney characters and now this is our third.

I'll be creating a Spirit Battle concept featuring the mysterious prosecutor Godot, the new and controversial prosecutor of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations.

Warning: This article may be a touch spoiler-y for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations, as well as for... the Bayonetta games? (But if you clicked the link in the preceding paragraph, that also kind of spoiled the former game, too.)

Spirit Details

Ace Attorney series
Spirit Type, Ability
Water Weakness
Three slots

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Version 3.0 of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Released!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring Joker, stage builder, video editing, and mobile app stupidity.

Tonight, the much-anticipated-since-February 2019 update to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch, Version 3.0, is released!

While it's not a Nintendo Direct, Nintendo released a 15-minute video last night about what's in Version 3.0 that might as well be a Direct. It has three million views right now, so you probably have seen it already, but I'll embed it anyway and talk about my thoughts:

The video spends most of the time to Joker being Challenger Pack 1, which you may remember from his trailer at The Game Awards 2018.

I'm going to gloss over Joker in this article and in my Super Smash Bros. Ultimate play in general. I never heard of this Ren Amamiya guy (Joker's real name) until the GameFAQs Character Battle X contest ran months before The Game Awards. I voted for Claire against him without even giving an explanation. She won. That's it.

The video goes in great detail about Joker, his Phantom Thieves friends, and his Persona, Arsene. None of them impress me and they're all annoying. His victory screen is cool I guess. I still don't know anything about Persona as a series and I don't really want to. None of the games except for a spin-off sub-series are on a Nintendo console anyway. Screw it. Plus...

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Reggie Retires, Makes @Reggie Twitter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Post-retirement suggestions and possibilities included.

As far as I can tell, now-former President of Nintendo of America Reggie Fils-Aime (notably spelling his own name without an accent mark) is a masochist. He had a fantastic time working at Nintendo for over a decade with his only social media presence being an underused LinkedIn account.

Yesterday he retired, and that same day he makes a Twitter account (handle @Reggie—which must have existed beforehand but I guess he negotiated with Twitter to have it transferred to him) in order to start “enjoying” his retirement.

Pro-tip: Twitter—and much of social media in general—sucks. If it weren't for KoopaTV, I wouldn't have a Twitter account. (Follow @TheREALKoopaTV) It's a cesspool of negativity and/or virtue-signaling, and “viral” content. (Usually stolen from original content creators like me.) There's nothing to enjoy and no happiness to be found. Reggie is looking forward to misery and I hope he quits Twitter soon.

In the one day Reggie's Twitter has existed, it's following a similar path to another Twitter account that started making activity after its owner departed ways with their high-profile job...

Monday, April 15, 2019

Kamala "Komala" Harris and Tax Refund Stupidity

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Someone this stupid or misleading is the leading Democrat candidate for president? Gross.

Inexplicably to me, former California attorney general and current California senator Kamala Harris is one of the leaders in the Democratic presidential nominating contest for 2020. She's a disingenuous liar and completely unfit for office—but unlike the current guy in presidential office, she doesn't have good policy positions to make up for those faults.

Since today is Tax Day (April 15), here's a taxes-related example. All of the Democrats absolutely hate President Donald John Trump's signature tax reform legislation, the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017. Their lying narrative has been that it's somehow been a “tax scam” and actually resulted in an increase in your taxes. Eventually, lies are met with questions about proof, and so Kamala Harris's proof point is about the size of the tax refund you may or may not have gotten from the Internal Revenue Service:

Kamala Harris tweet average tax refund down
Live link to the tweet is here.

“The average tax refund is down about $170 compared to last year. Let's call the President's tax cut what it is: a middle-class tax hike to line the pockets of already wealthy corporations and the 1%.”
The scam here isn't in the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017, but in the Democrats portrayal of how “tax refunds” work. Let me explain it to you, and then characterise Kamala Harris. (Scroll down to... well, you'll know where to, if you just want the Kamala Harris part.)

Friday, April 12, 2019

The Nintendo Labo VR Kit In Comatose Cappy Capturing Cahoots

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Virtual Reality for kids is bad news.

Today, a horrible new evil was let out into Earth, coming to stores near you. I'm writing about the Nintendo Labo VR Kit, also known as Toy-Con 4. That's VR for Virtual Reality, a technology most known in the gaming world for giving people headaches after experiencing it.

But why do you get headaches? Forget whatever science tells you. I'm going to tell you the real reason, and how the Labo amplifies that. Having your kids near any kind of Labo is a bad idea for any mother (or father), but that's especially true for the Virtual Reality kit.

I've been writing from the beginning of my anti-Labo advocacy a year ago about a Labo-Cappy alliance, but I never went into much detail about how those two anti-Koopa forces complement one another. I'm finally going to cover that as well.

Enough teasing. Time to start with what exactly is in a Labo VR Kit. It actually comes in several flavours that are varying combinations of the Nintendo Switch software, and Toy-Cons of VR Goggles, a Blaster, a Camera, an Elephant, a Bird, and a Wind Pedal. That's summarised in picture form below:

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Franziska von Karma: The Spirit Battle

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Franziska wants revenge and she wants to prove her perfection as a Spirit.

We at KoopaTV are excited to bring you the second in our weekly series of Ace Attorney-inspired Spirit Battle concepts. We're doing these because of Phoenix Wright being confirmed as the second Challenger Pack in the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Fighter Pass.

Today we showcase Franziska von Karma, daughter of legendary prosecutor Manfred von Karma, and a prosecuting prodigy that passed the bar exam at only 13 years young. She previously got overlooked by CAPCOM when it came to getting in Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite. Along with being a prosecutor throughout the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy (now purchasable on all major consoles and PC), she's been making a name for herself in Interpol.

Now she's really angry after Galeem took her Spirit.

Spirit Details

Franziska von Karma
Ace Attorney series
Spirit Type, Ability
Weapon Attack ↑

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

FAKE NEWS on Nintendo Directs... and Stage Builder?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Time for yet another lesson on how to not do journalism.

I personally dislike writing about rumours and fake information on KoopaTV. It goes against this site's “truth and levity” mantra. However, I'm happy to trash what some people may consider my competition, and I enjoy taking irresponsible media outlets to task. Today we have two topics, one more egregious than the other, but both relating to recent Nintendo-related “leaks.”

Nintendo Direct and FAKE NEWS Journalism

There is this mediocre website out there called Gaming INTEL that self-proclaims to be “an independent video gaming news website founded in 2016.” They focus in having “a wide range of inside sources including data miners, allowing us to publish exclusive leaks and rumours about unannounced game details.” and promise “the most accurate information with the deepest insight into the gaming industry.”

Put another way, they're just another FAKE NEWS website with mediocre material appealing to the lowest common denominator of Fortnite, Call of Duty, and Apex Legends fans. For whatever reason, some Nintendo fans browsing this crappy website saw an article about a “LEAK” from an “inside source” (pluralised as “sources” in the headline) with a track record of being “correct on several occasions in the past” that there would be a Nintendo Direct occurring tomorrow, April 11. As of publishing the night of April 10, Nintendo hasn't announced a Direct, and they typically announce them the day before at the latest. It's safe to say this inside source, or multiple sources, or whatever, is just a pile of FAKE NEWS.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

No Need To HOLD IT In: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy Released On All Consoles!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, the pro-tip that I'll follow that CAPCOM doesn't want you to hear!

If you've been paying attention to KoopaTV since the start of April, you'll notice Ace Attorney references everywhere. We've always been an Ace Attorney fan site masquerading as a Super Mario one.

Phoenix Wright, the star of the amazing Ace Attorney series, being announced as a character for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate was one thing. If it was just that, that would warrant the whole month just being Ace Attorney references.

But today is the release date of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy on four modern platforms! The Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and Steam. Awesome!

Surely that means that the CAPCOM Store is featuring the game. It ignored the Ace Attorney series at launch, but now that there's a new game, surely Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy is in the New Releases section...

...Nope. Not there. You can buy the Steam version off Brands → Other Brands. Just not as a New Release.

Anyway, check out the launch trailer, and then my pro-tip. The trailer actually does things differently than all of the other Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy launch trailers over the years, like pairing the Fey member and detectives in one artwork shot: 

Monday, April 8, 2019

Spring Fest Splatfest: Hare vs. Tortoise: The Rematch! Who Wins?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Why slow and steady wins the race.

Preceding the finals of the Super Smash Bros. North America Open 2019 at PAX East, where Phoenix Wright was announced as an upcoming downloadable character, was the Splatoon 2-equivalent tournament, which also got a developer announcement.

Along with a new game update in Version 4.6.0 was the announcement of a new worldwide Splatfest, deemed the Spring Fest. They really are disrespecting the Southern Hemisphere in their “worldwide” Splatfest, where it's actually Autumn at this time. (Shout-out to our Oceania readers.)

Anyway, the Spring Fest is taking place from April 19 to April 21, coinciding with the hare-happy holiday of Easter. Biased? Well, as I'll write later in this article, there's a tortoise-friendly holiday at the same time.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The Spring Fest's theme this time is...

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Spring Fest Hare vs. Tortoise Off the Hook Pearl Marina question history repeats itself
“Who would win if the tortoise and the hare had a rematch?”

This references the Aesop Fable where an overconfident hare and a mild-mannered tortoise have a race. The hare almost gets to the end and then takes a nap right before the finish line. The tortoise then completes the race while the hare is asleep, and proceeds to win. The lesson is either one about the hare's overconfidence being its downfall/snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, or how slow-and-steady wins the race/it's a marathon, not a sprint.

The question is not asking which of the hare or the tortoise you like more. And it's obviously not asking who would win the first time—the tortoise did. But it's asking what would happen in a rematch. Would the hare learn its lesson and not fall asleep right before? After all, the tortoise only won entirely because of the hare's stupidity/low-stamina (depending on your interpretation) not because it was a hard-worker or anything of the sort.

Then again, this is KoopaTV. In terms of animals, we have a pretty obvious bias. I'll examine this hare vs. tortoise situation in multiple, increasingly-controversial applications, and then give you my overall conclusion at the end.