Bowser Jr.'s Journey... to ARMS Scrub?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He's on a journey, but it's not to anywhere good.

As Alex Hunter's Journey ends after FIFA 19 releases next week, Bowser Jr.'s Journey is apparently just beginning when Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey releases next year.

Bowser Jr. is dragging Morton Koopa Jr., Roy Koopa... and KAMEK with him?
Well, at least it's not me on there.

I don't really know what antics Bowser Jr. is doing on his journey... I just know that we're involved. We being the Koopalings. Not that we want to be. I mean, look how Morton feels about being on the boxart:

What's Your Style? Retro vs. Modern Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring Nintendo Switch Online.

I'm not really one for wearing clothes. You know, normally. Sometimes, special costumes and outfits are cool (there was a whole Splatfest about that). But normally, Koopas wearing hoodies just look terrible.

This weekend's Splatoon 2 Splatfest asks, “What's your style?”

I'm all about the RETRO style!
Or...
I'm all about the MODERN style!

This Splatfest is wondering what your “aesthetic” is, which is some kind of tumblr concept that I don't understand or appreciate. I just know it's annoying.

On KoopaTV, I not only bash retro gaming by saying that no one cares about NES games, but I regularly bash modern games and their practices. Obviously, I'm just an all-around hater, so I'm not sure what my “style” is.

And then Nintendo shared this official promotional art of Pearl (Team Retro captain) and Marina (Team Modern captain):

Abolish the Borderless White Font

By RAWKHAWK2010 - It's a typeface only a mother could love.

Frankly, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trying to raise awareness of critical Nintendo Switch issues hoping they'll be fixed by the time the console generation ends, only to be swatted down by fans who won't acknowledge a single flaw with the system such as the Joy-Cons' minus button being totally unpressable. (If it's such a perfect button then where are all the videos demonstrating such? *thinking face emoji*)

The problem detailed in this article isn't an issue with the system per se, but more an issue that plagues the Switch's double-whammy of "best Zelda ever" and "best Mario ever", at least as lauded by many reviewers and fans. The issue in question? A new brand of borderless white font that actively attempts to hide itself from the player.

With The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, it's not...too offensive and is more just the fiend in its larval stage. The game's in-game text, if without stylization (outside of the Shrine names anyway), is at least overlayed on top of translucent shadowy text boxes -- you know, as you'd typically expect from a game with borderless white font. But then you shift your attention to the Memory cutscenes, etc. where Nintendo clearly thinks too much UI would distract from the cinematography. They want the font to be as non-distracting as possible...except that too little distraction means it won't actually be legible.

It's not like this is out in Hebra Mountains. Princess Zelda is the cutscene protagonist and just her clothes are enough to cause trouble.

Failed Trial; or Buy And Then Unsubscribe: The Best Ways To Change Nintendo Switch Online

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - These are the metrics Nintendo will understand.

Now (or after the 7-day trial) you have to pay to play your Nintendo Switch games’ online multiplayer features, on top of the purchase price of the games. We, of course, knew this was coming for a very long time. Let's briefly recall KoopaTV's coverage of Nintendo Switch Online:

• January 12, 2017: During THE Nintendo Switch Presentation, the famous one that introduced the Switch in great detail with its hardware philosophy, they announced in the first five minutes that online play will be a paid service releasing in Fall 2017.
• January 17, 2017: Nintendo's Switch online service page becomes available, where I describe it as less services at a higher cost. I noted Nintendo never promised to establish online infrastructure with this service, and they may just pocket the money.
• June 5, 2017: Nintendo Switch Online is delayed to 2018, and the pricing model of $20 a year is revealed.
• May 10, 2018: Nintendo Switch Online has been announced to launch September 2018, and they now say there will be cloud saves.
• May 15, 2018: Details on the family groups that you can establish to share Nintendo Switch Online with you and seven other people become clear, as you can now create your own groups. KoopaTV made one. Family plans are $35 for a year for the entire group.
• September 13, 2018: It's announced that Nintendo Switch Online will be released on September 18 during a Nintendo Direct, featuring the following trailer:

The Stealth Mode Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit Launch

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They're trying to cover-up the Nintendo Labo's actions. We shine the light of truth.

In the midst of all of the controversies and news in the last week, between the delay of the Nintendo Direct, the controversial Nintendo Direct itself, not to mention the uproar over Nintendo Switch Online (more about that in tomorrow's article), there was a product release that happened on Friday that wasn't just a new version of Splatoon 2.

The Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit launched on Friday, now in retail stores everywhere. Not many people seem to be paying attention to that, but we at KoopaTV can't let this moment slip by. 

Not with what we already know about the threat of the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit.

100x Battle In Splatoon 2 ISN'T a Battle Royale — And Other Version 4.0.0 Findings!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA  - Splatoon 2 version 4.0.0 is out. What's in it?

Early on in yesterday's controversial Nintendo Direct, they showed a Splatoon 2 trailer with no narration and no explanation of what was going on. Here is the trailer itself, embedded:

My reaction in the log was to the 100x battle bit. Knowing that awful Battle Royale games like Fortnite boast 100 players in one fight, I was afraid that Splatoon would take this awful route as some paid DLC expansion mode or something. After all, that is worth a whole new version number.

What if they're ending Splatfests and now using Shifty Stations for stupid Battle Royale modes?! NO!

Fortunately, according to the official Splatoon tumblr and the detailed patch notes, this isn't the case. The entire Splatfest system got a redesign with the new version update, which will be put to the test next week. (Stay tuned for the dedicated Splatfest article about Retro vs. Modern!) I honestly don't understand the system compared to the old Splatoon 2 Splatfest scoring system other than to see that they renamed Team Battles to Splatfest Battle Normal, and Solo Battles to Splatfest Battle Pro. There is now a new point system called Clout, and Clout is based on how much ink you accumulate. The old system was just based on if you win or not. (It might still be that, since the Splatfest ranking system (Fanboy, Fiend, Defender, Champion, King) is on a different scale than Clout.)

The 100x Battle, and there's also a 10x Battle, just multiples how much Clout you get from the match by that amount. It's still no more than 8 Inklings or Octolings at once. Less, of course, if someone disconnects, which will be as likely as before since Nintendo Switch Online won't be funding a better online connection or anything.

KoopaTV's September 13, 2018 Nintendo Direct Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The staff is all here. Was that effort worth it?

A really important thing to note here is that this Nintendo Direct was supposed to air last week. Since then, much of the information that is discussed in the Nintendo Direct have already been announced by Nintendo or other companies.

Our reaction log starts with conversation about Hurricane Florence. If you want to know why, read yesterday's confrontational article that is all about this Nintendo Direct and the story of its delays due to natural disasters.

The entire KoopaTV staff is present to live react to this log (myself, RawkHawk2010, Kamek, Wendy, and Witch Princess), along with our long-time friend who is in the log as Ryu. These live reaction logs provide you the staff's unfiltered, raw opinions. It's how we truly feel as it's happening. Everything after is just spin.

You can watch the Nintendo Direct alongside our reactions with the embed below. Make sure you start it once the log reaches 6 PM so it's synchronised.

Nintendo Direct Natural Disaster Hypocrisy

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The company postponed the Nintendo Direct due to a natural disaster, and has now rescheduled it to be during an even bigger natural disaster.

Due to the powerful hurricane on the East Coast of the United States of America, we have decided to delay this week’s planned Nintendo Direct. We will provide a new time and date in the near future. Thank you for understanding. 

Just kidding. 

You might remember last week where we were supposed to have a Nintendo Direct on September 6, 2018. It got delayed due to a powerful earthquake affecting the Japanese island of Hokkaido, a large but low-population area of about 5 million people. It's a remote island, far away from Nintendo's offices, subsidiaries, and business partners, with the exception of 64% of NDcube, developer of Super Mario Party. (Yet Nintendo still chooses to list them as a Tokyo company.) For American geographical context, the distance between the Hokkaido earthquake and Nintendo's headquarters in Kyoto is around the distance between Nintendo of America's headquarters in Redmond, Washington, and the many earthquakes that occur in California.

If you've talked with me in public over the past week, I've been passive-aggressive towards Nintendo regarding the delay of the Nintendo Direct. If you've talked with me in private, I've been actively aggressive against Nintendo. Not because I really, really wanted to see the Direct (in fact, I have no expectations for it and I wasn't asking for a new one), but because I disliked the precedent it set.

But if Nintendo was going to set a new precedent from now on for when it cancels Nintendo Directs and other events, then okay. As long as they're consistent about it.

And, of course, at Nintendo's first opportunity, they're not consistent.

Witch Princess: Ace Attorney

By WITCH PRINCESS - Salutations! My first article! And it's about Ace Attorney! I mean, duh.

B efore KoopaTV, I had no earthly idea what Ace Attorney was. When I saw Ludwig posting about it on Miiverse (nonexistent now), I was a little curious in finding out more about the series. It wasn’t until December of 2016 that I actually went to the eShop and downloaded the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy for my 3DS…

HOLD IT! If you don't wish to be spoiled, I suggest leaving this page immediately!!

And then my world changed. I was into something new. Let me tell you my experience.

Disclaimer: Prepare for some ranting of some sorts.

If Phoenix is a rookie attorney, then I'm a rookie KoopaTV staffer. We've both gotta do our jobs well!

Welcome Witch Princess to KoopaTV Staff!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A warm welcome.

In an ongoing effort to increase KoopaTV's diversity (ideological or otherwise) and better distribute our workload in producing amazing content on a regular basis, we've been aggressively trying to hire qualified people to join KoopaTV's staff.

I would like to announce that the Witch Princess will be joining KoopaTV's staff as a Content Writer!

Witch Princess.

This will be the second princess that KoopaTV has on staff (behind Princess Wendy O. Koopa), though in her interview, Witch Princess declined to state exactly what she is a princess of. In any case, we definitely have a monarchist bent here, though Koopa Kingdom is far and away the superior kingdom.

In her spare time, Witch Princess loves causing trouble for the Harvest Goddess and farmers. Her quest to denigrate blue-collar professions doesn't end there—she also has a hatred for pesky plumbers, too! (The research is unclear for which “collar” farmers actually fall under.) That fits great with KoopaTV's mission. Being anti-plumber, I mean. #NotAllBlueCollars

It's unclear so far if Witch Princess is actually a human or some kind of magic apparition. We didn't discriminate in the hiring interview. She also isn't an alumni of the Nintendo NSider Forums like the rest of the staff, so she has a much different background than the rest of us. We hope she does KoopaTV proud!


The Witch Princess is going to be publishing an article very soon, so look forward to that, and once again, please give her a welcome! By the way, even after this, KoopaTV would still like to expand the staff count even more, so please consider the wonderful opportunities.


In a previous form, the Witch Princess wrote this guest article.
The About page has been updated. (Political Compass update coming soon, too.)
The Contact page has also been updated.
Here is Witch Princess's first article, published the next day.