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Wednesday, June 30, 2021

The Significant Splatoon 2 Splatter Ladder 2021—you can register now!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I knew this day would eventually come!

First of all, shout-out to the name “Splatoon 2 Splatter Ladder 2021.”

Splatoon 2 Splatter Ladder 2021 key art banner Battlefy NintendoVS
Say “Splatoon 2 Splatter Ladder 2021” three times fast.
...Hm, maybe I should've said to do it more than three.
(But three reminds me that Splatoon 3 was announced!)

Anyway, that's the new collaboration between Nintendo of America and eSports platform Battlefy, the latest collaboration since the Mario Tennis Aces North American Open February 2021. That... that was a long time ago. Folks thought Nintendo would never sponsor an eSports event ever again, but that was proven wrong a month ago when Nintendo announced a collaboration with PlayVS to establish a high school competitive gaming scene for Splatoon 2 and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. (That's still on a waitlist for more information/which high schools are entering, by the way.) So it was only a matter of time.

The last time Nintendo hosted a Splatoon 2 tournament on Battlefy was the Splatoon 2 North American Open December 2020. This tournament, open to Canada, Mexico, and the United States, never finished due to the finalists being hooligans and trying to make a dumb statement in “solidarity” with a movement that had no defined mission or goal besides being disruptive to Nintendo. They never showed up to the finals, so the tournament never finished. Understandably, that left a bad taste in Nintendo's mouth (and Battlefy's), though I guess the company held onto the trophies that were to be the prizes. Or never manufactured them. And by the way, it was never about the people's names being #FreeMelee and Nintendo not wanting to show that—you can look at the NintendoVS Challenge Cup December 2020 results held immediately after this event and all of the #SaveSmash and #FreeMelee names that Nintendo allowed on the leaderboard as my evidence for that.

But I guess over half a year passing is enough for things to smooth over, so it's time for me to explain what the Splatter Ladder 2021 is all about.

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Version 12.0 First Impressions (AKA the Kazuya Patch)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Most of the patch affects only people who've bought the DLC, and... I'm not one of those.

I'll try to make this short because I'm actually unqualified to really write about this, which is probably disappointing to anyone who clicked on this article expecting great analysis.

As promised in yesterday's dedicated presentation about Kazuya from Tekken joining Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, version 12.0 of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has released on the night of June 29 (American time). This has added several Tekken Spirits to the game and several new Mii Costumes if you pay for them. None of my Replays have been deleted.

There was also a balance patch with fighter adjustments. In terms of anything that might affect fighter viability, Marth got some improvements to his up-tilt and down-tilt, as well as his dash attack that you probably should still never use. All three Mii Fighter archetypes have had some special move buffs (specifically Mii Brawler's Flaming Mach Punch, Onslaught, and Soaring Axe Kick; Mii Swordfighter's Airborne Assault, Stone Scabbard, Blade Counter, and Power Thrust; and Mii Gunner's Laser Blaze, Lunar Launch, Cannon Jump Kick, and Absorbing Vortex). I do not plan to change my Team Rocket Grunt Ludwig Mii Brawler's moveset. Bayonetta got some improvements to further the ones she got exactly a year ago.

And then a bunch of changes to DLC characters, notably Banjo & Kazooie, Min Min, Pyra, and Mythra. I understand Min Min's at least. Her Up Special (Arms Hook) will grab the ledge slower, and her Up-Smash is slower, reflects worse, and has less launch power. I theorise this is because Min Min beat Sakurai in yesterday's stream.

Monday, June 28, 2021

Masahiro Sakurai Presents "Kazuya" in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate...With KoopaTV's Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My objective is to learn his name instead of calling him Mr. Tekken.

As was foretold in the Nintendo Direct at E3 2021 a mere two weeks ago, today is when Super Smash Bros. Ultimate director Masahiro Sakurai gave a special presentation for the new downloadable character Kazuya from Tekken. Kazuya promises to be relatively complicated by Super Smash Bros. standards. How will the Tekken gameplay be faithfully recreated in a Super Smash Bros. environment, like Ryu and Ken's Street Fighter gameplay and Terry's Fatal Fury gameplay? (And Min Min's ARMS gameplay, though that's simpler than usual.)

[9:48 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
[9:48 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think I figured out how to remember his name is Kazuya.
[9:48 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's like... "Kazooie".
[9:56 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I feel like there should be waiting music. From Tekken.
[9:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Like, I dunno if my sound even works! (I mean, it does, based on listening to any other video, but...)
[9:59 AM] HeavyLobster: Let's Go!
[9:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FAKE NEWS it hasn't started.
[10:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Okay now it's time.
[10:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SWITCH SNAP.

Friday, June 25, 2021

Two Competing Vaccine Perspectives—Coming to Nintendo Switch End of 2021

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Which perspective do you relate to the most?

Normally, you'd expect me to publish an article about my Ring Fit Adventure progress as I'm training for next month's Tokyo 2021 Olympic Games as a member of Team Koopa. We've been calling it “KoopaTV Fitness Fridays.” But this week is different, and I wasn't able to do so. That's because of the Pfizer vaccine that they've given to every Tokyo 2021 Olympics team.

I've already written three weeks ago about the first dose I had... and I definitely had some side-effects, though they didn't stop me from completing World 42 of Ring Fit Adventure. But for the second shot... I was in the poor situation where my body was way too chilly and miserable for me to fall asleep, yet I lacked the energy to actually get out of bed. Bad combination. But I feel fine now. Still, I wouldn't have been able to do sufficient fitness during this week, so I just skipped it. Next week should be different.

Now, if you're going to KoopaTV for your medical advice (“Should I get vaccinated?”), I recommend you still keep going to KoopaTV, but find other, non-medical reasons to. However, I have noticed that there'll be two Nintendo-published videogames coming to the Nintendo Switch in the last quarter of 2021 with two very different perspectives on vaccines: Metroid Dread (October 8, 2021) versus Pokémon Brilliant Diamond/Pokémon Shining Pearl (November 19, 2021).

Roserade Poison Jabs Chimchar Metroid Fusion Vaccine coronavirus COVID-19
Left: Chimchar's Vaccine Hesitancy.
Right: Samus's Vaccine Success Story.

In this article, I'll explore those perspectives and you can tell me in the comments section which one you think makes more sense to you.

Thursday, June 24, 2021

Comprehensive List of Media Outlets that Spread Nintendo Switch "Pro" at E3 2021 FAKE NEWS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Accountability. ...Unfortunately, this might become a list of almost every media outlet that exists.

We have passed the end of E3 Weeks 2021. That is significant not only for what was revealed and shown at the expo, but also for what wasn't. According to many media outlets, Nintendo was supposed to reveal (or have already revealed) a more powerful hardware revision for their popular Nintendo Switch system—variously referred to as the Nintendo Switch Pro, the New Nintendo Switch, or the Super Nintendo Switch. This has been rumoured and speculated by media outlets for years, ever since before Nintendo made a supply chain adjustment on the Nintendo Switch to give it a better battery (Model HAC-001 → HAC-001(-01)).

The most recent (May 26) crop of rumours and speculation came from business news outlet Bloomberg, which has reported these kinds of Nintendo Switch Pro rumours for years (2018, 2019, 2020) that still haven't come true, citing anonymous “people familiar with the matter” and claiming these “people” said that Nintendo might announce this more powerful Nintendo Switch at or immediately before E3 2021 so third-party game developers could benefit. This hardware revision is supposed to release for consumer purchasing in autumn of 2021. The same article then says that they got Nintendo's stock price to go up on expectations of the hardware revision—demonstrating that these rumours from supposedly trustworthy media sources have a bigger economic effect than just riling up gamers on Twitter. Of course... this expected ~E3 2021 announcement did not happen. We all watched the Nintendo Direct at E3 2021. It was focused on software.

Here's how the media works: When one source breaks a story, all of the other media outlets want to also pick up that story, lest they lose potential eyeballs and revenue for not having a scoop. Especially if they report it as a juicy “leak”, because consumers think those are really interesting even though they actually don't benefit anyone. The other outlets tend to assume that the first outlet did a good job with their reporting, so they don't verify the story using their own investigative prowess because that's really hard work and they need to be quick or no one will visit them. Instead, they just go and rewrite the original story in their own words and cite the first outlet—or perhaps cite another outlet besides the first outlet if they're, say, a much later outlet to report on the story. In time, the story spreads and it looks like there are a lot of outlets all saying the same thing, which makes something seem more believable to readers. (A common tactic for readers to know if a source is telling the truth is to read multiple sources—KoopaTV has written a guide on how to be a good consumer of media that explains more about why this is a bad tactic.) Late last year, I broke down how this works using a detailed example in a story about Fire Emblem: Three Houses sales numbers that, to this day, are still unverified. A random guy made them up with no sources, but one outlet picked up on that and reported it as true, and soon lots of other outlets copied the story, but the word changes from outlet to outlet made the information progressively appear to be more and more definitively true and even official. It's a good read if you want to understand how this works.

For this article, I'll briefly explain why KoopaTV is making a list of outlets that spread this unverified rumour of the Nintendo Switch hardware revision's existence and it being shown at/before E3 2021, and then present the actual list—in a relative order of worst to least-worst reporting. As of initially publishing this, the list isn't actually complete... but I'll also explain how you can help that.

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Court Declares Scumbag Pokémon Sword/Shield Strategy Guide Leakers Liable to Pay Hundreds of Thousands in Damages

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think they should pay more. (Though they probably lack the money.)

This story makes me really happy and giddy, so I'll summarise it. Back at the end of 2019, KoopaTV wrote about how The Pokémon Company International (TPCi) filed court documents to try to defend their trade secrets and take action against the anonymous scumbags who leaked the contents of the Pokémon Sword/Pokémon Shield Collector's Edition Strategy Guide to the Internet. That guide had information that was not known about the game, since unlike Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon, TPCi didn't reveal every dang thing about the game before it released. This is so gamers could be surprised about the game when they play it, which is a more preferable way than being spoiled.

But, as I wrote, the jerks who did this were anonymous. I briefly mentioned in February 2020 that TPCi had hired private investigators and then didn't update you ever since.

So here's a summary of all the legal documentation: By March 2020, TPCi identified Bryan Garcia Cruz as the guy who posted the images and details to the public Discord server. Bryan Garcia Cruz was eventually cooperating with TPCi's investigators, though the CCP Virus apparently made this process take longer than anticipated. Then at the end of November 2020, TPCi was able to identify to the court a David Andino Maisonave. David Andino Maisonave is a guy who worked at LSC Communications, the printing company with the strategy guide's production line. (Coincidentally and unrelated to this, LSC had since filed for bankruptcy and were purchased by a private equity firm.) He took photographs of the contents of the strategy guide as it was going down the line (he was described as a “material handler”), despite LSC signing a non-disclosure agreement with TPCi and the production line being secured with cameras not allowed inside.

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Two-Player LEGO Mario and LEGO Luigi with a WEIRD Trailer

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (I wanted to try capitalising something besides LEGO in that headline.)

We knew that the “LEGO Super Mario Adventures with Luigi Starter Course” was “compatible” with the rest of the LEGO Super Mario series, but now we know that there is a two-player functionality (or Bluetooth connectivity) between LEGO Luigi and LEGO Super Mario. Or as the press release says, “any combination of the two figures” meaning two LEGO Luigis or two LEGO Marios.

Here's the promised “WEIRD Trailer” from the headline. Watch it, and I'll try to convince you how it's tied in with Mario corrupting the kids:

Monday, June 21, 2021

E3 2021 Virtual Portal Closing June 30

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Here's what was in the portal to begin with.

Ever since a month before E3 2021 when they announced that the whole special gimmick of E3 2021 would be their virtual online portal, we've been wondering how that'd manifest and what role it'd actually play in the E3 2021 experience. They opened registration a week or so before the event began to fans, with fans being able to access it only starting on the first day of E3. The media had access a week early.

It turns out that the media got to alpha-test the portal, and then when E3 actually began on June 12, all of the fans got to beta-test it and it didn't work. Almost no company (except CAPCOM from what we watched) ever gave lip service to the portal during the expo's proceedings. So with it not working and no one giving attention to it... we didn't factor it into our E3 Weeks 2021 coverage.

Now the portal will close on June 30. So what was in it?

Friday, June 18, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 44: The Journey BACK to Hades... an Extra Time

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This being a filler world means the most interesting part is that I did it during E3.

I hope you didn't just expect that I'd be using E3 Weeks 2021 just to sit around and watch gaming announcement streams. No, I put in some actual physical activity throughout that week—and today, on KoopaTV Fitness Friday, I'll prove it! Here's what I did in Ring Fit Adventure!

I'm still playing on difficulty level 30 of 30. Last week in World 43, we... went face-to-face with Dragaux consumption strategies. We need to prepare ourselves for that, and thus we're in World 44: Extra Fitness Lv. 269. This is based on World 21: Between Land.

I started on Sunday, after the two E3 presentations from that day left me feeling grumpy. Hopefully exercising helps relieve that. I inspected the Zircon stone that Dragaux gave us before Dragaux went and began emotionally eating everything (and everyone). It's the last item in the ingredients Catalog, though we are still missing things from it. I'm just now noticing that the new stones we got in Extra Fitness are just palette swaps of the old stones we got in the main adventure. Hmph. As for the story, it's totally a filler. We're looking for the entrance to Hades (at the end of this world), and Honey is back as well, looking to talk with her grandma. But it's very foggy.

Ring Fit Adventure view catalog Zircon stone last ingredient
Zircon is just a yellow Diamond, while Garnet is just a pinkish Sapphire.

The first course is Jog-on Bog. To my knowledge, there has never been a fun videogame level with bog in the name. If you disagree with me, let me know in the comments section.

Thursday, June 17, 2021

E3 2021: Company Presentations Tier List

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Write-ups of the worst-to-best.

With E3 2021 now over, that means we can reflect on the (calendar) weeks that just transpired. And unlike some bland losers in the mainstream gaming media, we're not going to shy away from sharing our opinions of what we watched on the basis of “everyone worked really hard!” In fact, E3 itself held an awards show (about itself) and in their view, Microsoft had the best presentation and Forza Horizon 5 is the official “most anticipated” game of the expo. ...As a warning, KoopaTV disagrees with that decision.

Here is KoopaTV's tier list, ordered from worst company to best company—and shout-outs to me using a reversed ordered list this time to minimise confusion:
  1. Verizon and Take-Two
  2. Ubisoft
  3. Square Enix
  4. Devolver Digital
  5. Microsoft
  7. Nintendo

Verizon and Take-Two Interactive

I'm grouping these together because they both happened on Monday and they have the same themes of not actually being about videogames and instead actually being about promoting diversity, inclusion, and equity (DIE). KoopaTV live-reacted to Verizon's but did not do so for Take-Two; nonetheless I did watch Take-Two's diversity panel afterward. It's basically just gibberish. Neither company has any core proficiency in this and they haven't explained how their company has anything to do with the space. I kept waiting for Verizon to tie their core business or presentation themes (how 5G networks will do so much greatness for the gaming industry) to DIE, but they never did. It was a bait-and-switch.

E3 isn't the right venue for those types of discussions. They should've saved it for Game Developers Conference (GDC), which happens to be next month and includes an entire “Advocacy” track. No general member of the public listens in to E3 for this stuff. Almost by definition there's no potential for a takeaway.

Take-Two Take 2 diversity equity inclusion panel discussion E3 2021 participants games for change
I genuinely tried to listen to the words of what the participants were saying for an hour,
but I really couldn't follow it. At least the character animations were amusing, especially Gordon Bellamy of Gay Gaming Professionals.

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

E3 2021 Game and DLC Sales

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Who knows where you'll find the time, but this should help the money.

There have been many games talked about over E3 Weeks 2021. Most of them won't be of interest to any given person, but there should be several games coming up that you'll be interested in. I know that applies to me. But some of those games might not be coming out until way later in 2021, or 2022, or even 2023 if you're Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes. So what if you want to buy things right now? Well, as is recent tradition, E3 brings big game discounts on digital storefronts!

First of all, on the Xbox, their big sale ends June 17, so you... better get on that. That includes Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy for only $20.09 as opposed to $30. But if you look over on the Nintendo eShop, you'll see the same game for only... $19.99! And that sale will expire June 22, 2:59 AM Eastern. The other Ace Attorney games back on 3DS are also on sale at the same prices they were on sale a month ago.

But there are a lot of other things on sale on the Nintendo eShop right now, from a dizzying list of publishers... including Nintendo themselves. Interestingly, this includes The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Paper Mario: The Origami King, Octopath Traveler (published by Nintendo on the Switch—I like the art style but I've heard very mixed things about the game itself...), and Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition all at 30% off. AND their downloadable contents (such as The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild's Expansion Pass and the Fire Emblem: Three Houses Expansion Pass) are ALSO on sale for 30% off. Usually DLC is left at full price and that's how they make up for giving you the main game at a discount.

Anyway, check out your wish list and see if stuff you want is on sale. ...And think quick before it ends.

Ludwig wants you to buy Ace Attorney if nothing else. It should help prepare you for The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, which he actually has pre-ordered the physical edition of. ...Very rare of him to do that!

There was a similar mid-June sale in 2020 with first-party Nintendo games, though which ones specifically were different.
That pre-order arrived on launch day.
The next Ace Attorney sale is for the franchise's 20-year anniversary in October 2021.

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Nintendo Treehouse: Live | E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Some detailed gameplay scoops.

Continuing immediately off where the Nintendo Direct | E3 2021 left off is the Nintendo Treehouse: Live | E3 2021, where members of Nintendo of America's product marketing and localisation crew will show us some of the games that they showed off during the Direct, but in much greater detail.

This is the last reaction log from KoopaTV for E3 Weeks 2021. And it's the longest yet. Remember when Nintendo announced that Treehouse Live would only be three hours long? ...Yeah... it was over four hours long. ...So... let's see if you can get through this log...

In a rare display of concern for your user experience, I actually put together a table of contents:

Metroid Dread
Mario Party Superstars
Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin
Mario Golf: Super Rush
Shin Megami Tensei V
Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp
WarioWare: Get It Together!
Metroid Dread

Nintendo Direct | E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - E3 2021's saviour, or the final nail in the coffin?

Welcome to the start of the last day of conferences for E3 Weeks 2021. We've gone through several companies so far, and the overall impression is that E3 2021 has been overhyped, and the expo hasn't justified its existence.

But those impressions have been generated before Nintendo's presentation. Can Nintendo end E3 with a favourable impression? We're big Nintendo fans at KoopaTV (obviously), so here are our unfiltered, live reactions to the Direct:

[11:50 AM] Kamek: Link?
[11:50 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
[11:52 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Glad you're alive!~
[11:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So... This is it... Nintendo at E3 2021.
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (In under 30 seconds.)
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...........

[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RP TO MATURE
[12:00 PM] Kamek: Watching an ad
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah you're supposed to get into the stream before it starts to get the ad.
[12:01 PM] Kamek: You're lucky I'm even here

Monday, June 14, 2021

CAPCOM's Presentation at E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm a happy Koopa.

We are now coming to a highly anticipated live reaction log: That of the CAPCOM conference at E3 Weeks 2021 (click for the schedule of the whole expo). Unlike some of the other companies we've reacted to so far, I'm an outright fanboy of a certain franchise that may be showcased by CAPCOM, so I have a lot of personal feelings at stake as opposed to being a detached observer. Heavy Lobster is here too and it's more level-headed than I am. It being a machine plays a part in that, probably.

Warning: The presentation—and therefore the reaction log—has some minor spoilers for what I assume is the first case of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. ...Which also means, spoiler alert, The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles is featured. If you're smart, you may be able to connect the “I'm a happy Koopa.” statement with that fact. And if you can make those logical connections, you may enjoy the Ace Attorney series.

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh crap the stream has some kind of CAPCOM thing already.
[5:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A Reddit Ask Me Anything with the Monster Hunter Rise producer or director or something. ...Eh wotever.
[5:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Here's how I feel: All CAPCOM has to do is show The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, not cancel or delay it, and imply or directly state that the franchise is important to the company. That will guarantee CAPCOM is better than any other company at E3 up to this point.
[5:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They don't even have to announce anything new!
[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (They can even include a small diversity segment to fit in with today's theme and they'd still be better off than the others.)
[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So they have a veeeeeery low bar to clear.
[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Though they probably need to announce some new stuff if they wanna be the #1 company and not be #2.
[5:26 PM] HeavyLobster: What if they make Phoenix Wright black and gay?

Verizon Conference at E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Time to find out what they're doing here. ...It's worse than I expected.

Back when we were still learning which companies would be represented at E3 2021, I singled out Verizon as a company I'm really curious in what they have to share. They're not a gaming company. They're an Internet service provider...but they also have been branching out and acquiring a lot of other things... though now they're selling off their digital media brands after buying them a few years ago, which... probably means they made a mistake and they realise it now. So what are they doing here if they realise going into news and entertainment wasn't a good bet for them?

Too bad I'm the only one on KoopaTV's staff who is curious about this. So this is a solo reaction log with just me...well, Heavy Lobster does appear to let me know who a certain guest is. We will have more... very gaming-related things for the rest of E3 Weeks 2021, however!

[11:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, we're moments away from Verizon's presentation.
[11:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm hoping it's not just about mobile games or else I'm torturing myself.
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I want better Internet connections and stuff. Who knows what'll happen!
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The battle to come will not be easy."
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's some kind of rivalry strength thing.
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 5G Ultra Wideband...
[12:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...just sort of thrown into there.
[12:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some guy named Diego who is the Chief Marketing Officer at Verizon.
[12:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Why am I here and why is Verizon here?"
[12:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ..Yeah I got that question too.

Sunday, June 13, 2021

Square Enix Presents at E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Great if you're a mobile gamer!

You may think that E3 2021 hasn't been all that so far—based on the presentations KoopaTV has live-reacted to that you can consult our E3 Weeks 2021 Schedule to read up on. But Square Enix can be a really good company with interesting presentations...if the right part of Square Enix shows up. ...But was it good and did that part show up? Myself and Heavy Lobster watch and find out.

[3:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa:

Square Enix coming in a few minutes!
[3:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're showing a "Square Enix memories" advertisement before it begins with some drag queen right at the front.
[3:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Talking about Kingdom Hearts.
[3:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's a good reason not to watch the stream before it actually begins...
[3:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (That's a slight on the drag queen not on Kingdom Hearts.)
[3:12 PM] HeavyLobster: Square Enix is sometimes really good.
[3:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't care about any of Square Enx's Western contributions to the industry. So I'm hoping that some of the Japanese stuff actually shows up!
[3:14 PM] HeavyLobster: And sometimes they make Life is Strange.
[3:15 PM] HeavyLobster: I legitimately cannot understand how someone could seriously like Life is Strange.
[3:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Noting that the E3 commentators (the same freaks who were crawling on the floor before Microsoft's) are telling people to use #E32021 on social media but not promoting the E3 fan portal. Ha. But they're setting expectations low.
[3:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And it's beginning now.
[3:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Good afternoon."

Xbox & Bethesda Games Showcase at E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A games showcase featuring more than two-dozen games. No movies or TV shows!

Today marks one of the more major days for E3 2021 (and you can keep up with it on our E3 Weeks 2021 Schedule). Microsoft will be presenting Xbox games, and they're also bringing recent acquisition Bethesda to show content as well—and Bethesda used to have their own conference, so it's convenient to consolidate it.

Your KoopaTV personalities live-reacting to this showcase—which is very focused on games—are myself... and Heavy Lobster, though it seems preoccupied watching some baseball game.

[12:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
Microsoft is coming in a few minutes, featuring Bethesda.
[12:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Get in there now so the mandatory 30-second ad is out of the way.)
[12:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (They want you to buy a McDonalds chicken crispy sandwich, which I will never do.)
[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: For anyone keeping track, the E3 portal works today, unlike yesterday.
[1:01 PM] HeavyLobster: God supports Chik-Fil-A, not heathen McDonalds.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Including the forum, which features boards like "AAPI in Gaming" with 0 replies.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The E3 2021 commentators are being really weird and obnoxious and crawling on the floor.
[1:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is apparently what counts for mainstream gaming content.
[1:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, they're starting it now.
[1:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And by starting it's actually into another countdown.
[1:03 PM] HeavyLobster: I hate "gamer" pandering so much.
[1:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But at least it's a Microsoft countdown and not an E3 countdown.
[1:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Huh. They're opening with Todd.

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Devolver MaxPass+ | E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - MaxPass+ is my kind of subscription...!

Over recent years, publisher Devolver Digital has been known to have meme presentations during E3 time (here's a plug for KoopaTV's E3 Weeks 2021 Schedule) that both showcases some games they're publishing... and teasing some practices going on in the gaming industry. This year, the target of their derision are subscription games passes. I live-reacted to what they had to say... with Heavy Lobster being sick of their act by now.

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Devolver Digital is apparently going to hang out in this stream because they're not allowed on the E3 stream.
[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not sure why they're allowed on KoopaTV, either!
[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh... Where are they? These Twitch Gaming show people keep talking and talking.
[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "It's coming right right now."
[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: .......(It's not coming.)
[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh.. I can't tell if this is Devolver or it's a Twitch ad, but I have nothing to say regardless.
[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Okay here's the actual Devolver Digital thing.
[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Showing past hits from their scary skits.
[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is called "Devolver MaxPass+"

Ubisoft Forward at E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the very first E3 Weeks 2021 conference!

As promised in KoopaTV's E3 Weeks 2021 Schedule, KoopaTV is live-reacting to the Ubisoft Forward as the opening act of E3 2021.

Myself and Heavy Lobster are the only KoopaTV folks to bother showing up for Ubisoft. We have no actual hype going in for them. Did their conference have anything to change our mindset? Find out.

[2:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THE FIRST SESSION OF E3 in just 9 minutes.
[2:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Before it starts, shout-out to the E3 Portal for being a disaster with constant "Service Not available - 503" errors and emergency maintenance.
[2:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
Twitch is the official spot to watch E3; it's like 10 seconds ahead of YouTube.
[3:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ooh, it's happening.
[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring Neelam and Youssef?
[3:01 PM] HeavyLobster: French diversity.
[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They have burnt-in captions so they're at least not hiding it's pre-recorded.
[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Does this mean there won't be a dance segment?
[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Or will there be an even bigger dance segment than usual?

Friday, June 11, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 43: Squats to Sleep

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Sort of a snoozefest... but that's the theme of the world, so that's intentional. Right?

We are continuing KoopaTV's Fitness Fridays, which are getting more and more relevant as the calendar gets closer to the Tokyo 2021 Olympic Games. Last week (Week 42), I took real steps towards being prepared for the Tokyo 2021 Olympic Games. This week, we should be returning to our regularly scheduled fitness training in Ring Fit Adventure—on difficulty level 30—without any whacky, debilitating physical gimmicks afflicting my body. As for the work-out itself, we'll see how gimmicky that is.

World 43: Extra Fitness Lv. 263 is based off World 20: The City of Open Eyes (started here; concluded here), which is named such because Dragaux kept everyone awake from his stadium by being noisy. It was a lesson in the importance of sleeping, which is a message that KoopaTV supports but doesn't always live out in practice.

Ring Fit Adventure Snoozie sleep is important World 43
I was one of the first ones to SPREAD that word, Snoozie!
(Well, there's thousands of years of people predating my pro-sleep message, but at least I predated YOU!)

World 43 opened up with Snoozie—the unique NPC of World 20—saying that she feels great now because she got some sleep and she agrees with me on the importance of sleeping. Meanwhile, Ring asks how much sleep I get (not as much as I'd like, partly KoopaTV's fault), claiming he gets 8 hours of sleep. ...Well, I haven't SEEN him sleep and we've been adventuring for 43 weeks now. General Store Number 39 is selling just one new item: The Guru Gear II, with a set bonus of increasing the power of green Fit Skills by 5%. It's only marginally better in stats than the Battle Machine II and its game-breaking 5% extra experience gain set bonus, so I bought the new outfit (which required two Rose Quartz stones, out of the two I have) and carried on...

Ring Fit Adventure World 43 get eight hours of sleep a night
No. I don't get enough sleep.
I'm kept up late at night writing KoopaTV articles while squeezing in one to two hours of Ring Fit Adventure.
On top of my daytime duties.

World 20/43 are unique in that it puts the most challenging parts of the entire world at the very beginning: The Trapezius Set Fitness Gym and Guru Andma's miniboss fight. I seek to conquer both of these on Sunday, starting with the Trapezius Set (which is supposed to train your back), consisting of...

Thursday, June 10, 2021

E3 Weeks 2021 Schedule!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The fact there wasn't a 2020 version of this affects our thinking a bit.

As KoopaTV has been making you aware for the past several months, E3 Weeks 2021 is upon us. This is the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3)—the biggest gaming event of every year. Except 2020 when it didn't happen.

KoopaTV has a tradition of covering the major livestreams that occur during E3 with text-and-image-based live reaction logs that actually do a decent job documenting what happens and our actual, unedited emotions during gaming company presentations. They're better than videos.

Here is this year's KoopaTV E3 Weeks 2021 logo:

KoopaTV E3 Weeks 2021 logo banner
I made this logo with no input from anyone else.
The plain-ness represents how I'm not actually expecting or anticipating anything.

This year is different than previous years. E3 2021 is an all-virtual event with a gamified digital portal. While the conferences will remain, there are now apparently more details contained within this portal with its simulated booths. ...As of writing this, it's still unclear how that content will play into our E3 Weeks 2021 content. You can watch the E3 streams for yourself on Twitch and many other distribution services.

So here are the conferences we'll be having some kind of content around. There are many events that will occur not on this list that you can request we watch in the comments section, but we're excluding them because they don't seem interesting or relevant. This article will be updated as E3 Weeks progresses with hyperlinks to KoopaTV's coverage. Times listed are in Eastern Time:

Wednesday, June 9, 2021

The dissonant "Palworld" announcement

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I don't think it's a Team Rocket simulator.

During the Indie Live Expo 2021 over the weekend—and I didn't watch it and I never will—Japanese indie developer Pocketpair announced the game Palworld—with the moniker that it's a multiplayer open-world survival crafting game (definitely a personal turn-off)—that looks like this:

The Pokémon community certainly took notice of this Palworld trailer and you might have found reactions from them, despite Pocketpair describing the game as being inspired by ARK: Survival Evolved, not Pokémon. Nonetheless, several members of the Pokémon community described Palworld as a “Team Rocket simulator”, though as someone who has quite a bit of Team Rocket knowledge, I disagree with that description—and I'll get into why. Regardless, that trailer makes me feel... a lot of contradictory things. It's purposefully dissonant, and Pocketpair wants to give people mood whiplash. That's why it's getting attention to begin with.

Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Rillaboom for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Moveset Concept

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Rillaboom drums up a beatdown!

In exactly one week is Nintendo's E3 2021 conference. Everyone expects that the identities of one or both of the remaining two Fighter's Pass 2 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate downloadable content characters will be revealed then.

One (unsupported) “theory” is that the Pokémon franchise is “owed” one of the DLC fighter spots (because it's big and popular and The Pokémon Company has a lot of influence over Nintendo executive decisions), and the most common-sense decision is to take a popular Pokémon from the new Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield. Top contenders include Cinderace, Toxtricity, and Rillaboom. (No one wants Inteleon.) Of those three, I'd prefer Rillaboom. Unfortunately, Rillaboom detractors cite that he's just “moss Donkey Kong”, akin to:

Green Donkey Kong Moss Rillaboom Super Smash Bros. 64
After I got this screenshot I realised how scary the top of Moss DK's head looks like.
That's the blue Player 2 indicator, not Donkey Kong having the worst haircut of his life.

KoopaTV will therefore present a viable moveset concept for Rillaboom, taking deep inspiration from the Pokémon games in putting it together:

Monday, June 7, 2021

Intriguing Challenges in Localising The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My reactions to Janet Hsu giving us the localisation backstory.

My most hyped product for the whole of 2021 is The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, releasing July 27. I doubt whatever will occur during E3 2021 will change that, so I'm confident this will age well.

A large part of what makes Ace Attorney such a beloved franchise is the high quality of its writing, and you can thank CAPCOM's localisation team for that. In particular, thank localisation manager Janet Hsu, who has been working on Ace Attorney since Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All. She recently had an interview with Polygon. The Polygon interviewer didn't contribute anything of interest to the discussion, but Janet sure did. Here's what I found noteworthy from the exchange—which means you should read the interview before the rest of this article for maximum effect.

Friday, June 4, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 42: Counterfeit Fitness Machine

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Counterfeit is counter to being fit.

This week is a relatively special one in KoopaTV Fitness Friday history. Yeah, the series is about having a healthy lifestyle through playing Ring Fit Adventure, and it's also about being ready for the Tokyo 2021 Olympic Games because I'm competing for Team Koopa, Koopa Kingdom's delegation. Let's talk about that in some more detail than usual before the Ring Fit Adventure gameplay logging in this article.

Being ready for the Olympics isn't just having a general sense of physical fitness—Japan is ravaged by the Chinese Communist Party Virus (CCP Virus, sometimes known as COVID-19) right now, and lots of places are shut down or are at very limited capacity. The official policy of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) is that participants won't face a vaccination mandate, while the actual people of Japan are livid that the games will go on this year—as opposed to being delayed/cancelled like last year. ...The actual rate of vaccination among the Japanese is quite low. The Japanese are even more vaccine-hesitant than the Americans!

Even though the IOC isn't mandating a vaccine, they're heavily encouraging it, and vaccine manufacturer Pfizer (and BioNTech) have donated their coronavirus vaccine to all the Olympic delegations, including to Koopa Kingdom. Koopa Kingdom lacks a CCP Virus vaccination program, for the obvious reason that the virus afflicts Earth and not our world. The first thought would be to say screw the vaccine. There's no evidence that the virus is transferable to Koopas (though it is transferable to non-humans such as cats and dogs), and no evidence (or trials) the vaccine works on Koopas. (Which is why Russia is making and using animal-specific vaccines now.)

Still, the last time we were training for an Olympics in 2016, Team Koopa got the Zika Virus in Rio de Janeiro. That was not an enjoyable experience. I don't know why we keep dealing with these human viruses during Olympic times. On King Bowser Koopa's orders, I took the first dose of the donated Pfizer vaccine on Sunday. The medical administrator advised that I drink a lot of water and move my affected (left) arm a lot—and drinking water and arm movement is what Ring Fit Adventure is all about, so let's start!

We ended last week's World 41 with a cliffhanger: What would happen if I finished that world wearing the Fitness Machine? You see, this week we're in World 42: Extra Fitness Lv. 257, which returns us to the Robot Kingdom (based off World 19: Getting Rusty; World 19 conclusion here), where the inhabitants are robots that communicate in Binarese, not English. The purpose of the Fitness Machine is that it allows one to understand Binarese as if it were English.

Except when we get there, the robots are speaking our common language, and not Binarese, which Ring was somehow able to figure out. So... Ring Fit Adventure is clearly assuming I'm NOT wearing the Fitness Machine when I entered World 42, which is deeply disappointing and a lack of attention to detail. Here's how the intro went down:

Thursday, June 3, 2021

Nintendo's E3 2021 Presence; E3 Fan Sign-Ups Open

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Here's what you allegedly get for signing up...

In a little over a week, the 2021 edition of the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) will commence. It's THE biggest event for the gaming industry of the year, and there's been significant buzz about it for the past couple of months, demonstrating that people who've been saying that “E3 is dead” or “E3 is irrelevant” are... very dumb people, likely with an agenda that doesn't align with your own.

This year, hardware ecosystem owners Microsoft and Nintendo are E3's pinnacle sponsors. Yesterday, Nintendo announced their E3 2021 plans: Nintendo will stream a Nintendo Direct on Tuesday, June 15, at 12 PM Eastern. This aligns with their long-running streak of Tuesday 12 PM E3 digital events going back to E3 2014. It'll last about 40 minutes and focus on Nintendo Switch games releasing in 2021...with some mentions of outside-2021 things too. Then Nintendo's Treehouse division will do three hours of gameplay on select games right after. In past years, Nintendo Treehouse might do four, five, six, or even more hours every day for three days, so three hours in one day is substantially less time. Quite frankly, I'm fine with that, as someone who has sat through all of those hours in the past and live-reacted to them all for content. ...Content that you can read on KoopaTV in previous years (2019 and prior... well, for KoopaTV, 2018 and prior. 2019 was unique).

Three hours might fit in six to eleven games, depending on how much time they want to dedicate to each game. That's less games shown than some of the previous years’ Nintendo Treehouse Lives. Quality isn't always better than quantity here. Like, the 2016 E3 Nintendo Treehouse Live Day 1 was boring because it was JUST The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild for hours on end. I suppose Treehouse Live could do that again and use all three hours on just one game, but... I hope not.

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Nintendo "Uji Ogura Plant" → "Nintendo Gallery"... Around 2023–2024

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Don't feel jealous of Japan. America already has this covered.

What do you do when you have an idle factory on a bunch of land? ...Apparently, convert it into a gallery of your company's history—or to editorially put it, a museum. That's what Nintendo just announced they'll be doing with their Uji Ogura Plant. That factory was established in 1969 in Uji City, Japan to manufacture Hanafuda cards and games (of the analogue kind, such as classic and board games like mahjong and checkers). Nintendo in the 1980s built a new Uji City plant to expand capacity, called the Uji Plant, which is still used today. The old one was renamed the Uji Ogura Plant, due to the Ogura neighbourhood of where it's located. The old one is closed.

Google Maps Nintendo Uji City factory plant Ogura Makishima
The current Uji City plant (which apparently does service repairs according to Google Maps reviews) is also next to the historical Makishima Castle.
...That castle is just ruins.

Nintendo plans to renovate the abandoned Uji Ogura Plant to showcase their “product development history and philosophy with the public” and showcase “historical products” with “exhibits and experiences” by March 2024. They're tentatively calling it the Nintendo Gallery, not to be confused with the Game & Watch Gallery or anything. You may be thinking, aw, shucks, this is another case of Japan always getting cool things. But... fret not, America has these kinds of gaming exhibit opportunities that already exist.

Tuesday, June 1, 2021

KoopaTV's May 2021 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I've really been doing this for eight years, huh?

That's another month down. May 2021. Gone just like that. During that quick month KoopaTV turned eight years old, to little fanfare. Yeah, the least amount of fanfare came from KoopaTV itself, so I'm not lamenting anything.

The integer representing KoopaTV's age has really nothing to do with how our month went, by the way. There was zero impact. ...We're not complacent or anything. We're nimble and stuff. Here, check out our great content:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of May 2021

Since KoopaTV isn't a washed up website, here's the top five (listed in chronological order) experiences that demonstrate our cutting-edge greatness.
  1. The Jury is in about that "Wario" Skit on Saturday Night Live... — KoopaTV went and actually reviewed the Saturday Night Live/Elon Musk Wario skit on a truth and levity basis. Somehow, we're better than their whole paid staff. Hm. If you're looking for washed up, it's SNL, not KoopaTV.
  2. E3 2021 Preview Update: SQUARE ENIX, SEGA, and an Online Portal — E3 2021 starts really soon, and we updated you all in May with some information that corrected the misinformation that other media outlets put out about E3 2021.
  3. Anti-Transparency in United States Taxation... and the Solution! — There is systemic concealment of how money is raised by the United States government, and this article exposes how that impacts your finances.
  4. I can't use my childhood dodgeball strategy in Knockout City — This article discusses the scary privacy issues you should know about Knockout City, the gameplay of the sport portrayed (dodgeball), and how it compares with the traditional sport of dodgeball.
  5. In Memoriam: Glenn Fraldarius — KoopaTV's Memorial Day 2021 article is about a true knight...who died.

Everything on KoopaTV is worth reading, you know. Even if it's not on that list, or if it's not from May 2021. Lots of oldies and goodies and classics are in our archives... many of which still hold up very well to this day.

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of May 2021

I really want to talk about the worst comment of the month, because that's what I think of when I think of May 2021 and your comments. ...But let's go through the positives first (in chronological order):