Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 21: The Gunsho Temple Loophole

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Inside Hades is a tribute to the Second Amendment?

I originally declared that KoopaTV's Fitness Friday series exists as my training for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. Then they got delayed to 2021. At this point, I'm almost done with Ring Fit Adventure's Adventure Mode, and I've already spent several months so far, so I might as well see it to the end. This article continues off last week (week 20).

I already exhausted myself (mostly my arms) playing Ring Fit Adventure on Sunday night before even starting Adventure Mode, because I was testing out the new Rhythm Game feature for Monday's article. None of the time spent on that is recorded in the Adventure Mode timer and there is no Rhythm Gym or anything in the Adventure Mode. There is, however, the Fitness Gym (which does have a main menu equivalent), and that's where I'm tortuously starting this fitness log. Specifically, on difficulty level 30 in World 21: Between Land. It's the Core Set, and the reward is one measly Diamond:

1. Bow Pull (x40)—This is the worst damn Fit Skill you can start with, especially since I just did a lot of pushing and pulling with my arms over the Rhythm Game mode. You're supposed to pretend the Ring-Con is like a bow and pull it like you would a bow (because everyone playing Ring Fit Adventure has archery experience?), but if you're unethical, the game is only measuring that the Ring-Con is being pulled. How you pull it is up to you.
2. Overhead Lunge Twist (x40)—At least this one is much easier. Hold the Ring-Con above you, and twist your upper body left or right, making sure to rotate the Ring-Con with you.
3. Pendulum Bend (x30)—Bend down and move the Ring-Con like a swinging pendulum, except it floats at the left-most/right-most points for longer than an actual pendulum would. You won't be looking at the screen for this. If you're a bad person, you can just stand (or even sit) and just revolve the Ring-Con. But they're not hard to do correctly...
4. Seated Ring Raise (x60)—Sit down and raise the Ring-Con above your head and then lower it down in front of you. Repeat.
5. Plank (x30)—Damn right I'm going to cheat on this. You can trick the game by starting in the Plank position. Then stand up. Bend your knee to complete a rep. It'll HOLD while your leg is straight.
6. Warrior III Pose (x28)—Warrior III is too good to cheat, and there's no point since all Yoga poses are overly-generous in scoring anyway. Stand on one leg and make a T-pose by bending forward while extending your held-up leg back.

My reward for being an unethical cheater (and I realise that's a turn-off for anyone casually coming across this article) is an overworld chest containing Warrior III Pose Lv.3, which is a great Fit Skill (along with being generous to perform correctly).

By the way, before I keep going, note that this article obviously has story spoilers.

Interestingly, I notice that the last request for World 3: A Shining Jewel from the Heavens has finally opened. We went through World 3 in Week 2. It's Week 21 now. That was a long time ago.

What's the request? It's freaking Dashley on her Marathon of Youth again, wanting me to run through the General Factory level in 160 steps or less. ...Why did this take so long to unlock?! I've been doing Dashley's requests FOREVER now. I did it in 95 steps, and she handed me a very nice 1000 coins. World 3 is now 100% complete!

Is this going to result in something exciting?
Finally doing the last of a many-part reoccurring request series?

All of a sudden, Dashley then appeared in World 9: Flex Dojo. Before, I wrote, “There's one more request in the world according to the Select World menu, but I can't access it now. Guess I'm done with World 9!” Now it's here. Dashley claims this is the very last stop of the Marathon of Youth, and we're about to discover the secrets of everlasting youth. As long as I'm able to get to the end of Flyover Wilds within 220 steps! (I also get a Dragon Drink which is an instant level up.) I did a very unoptimal run through it in 155 steps. And in the end... Dashley did not discover youth, and it was incredibly anti-climactic. That's... so lame.

Back to World 21. There's a fork in the road. The upwards path has a Rare Hoplin fight (there's five of them each giving out tons of experience points) and the level Whirling Halls. Whirling Halls happens to be filled with FOG, and therefore it's not fun. It does, however, have a lot of Vanilla Ice Cream and Black Tea Leaves, which help produce Banana Shakes (Yellow Fit Skill attack power↑↑ and more importantly, it gives you an extra turn) and Black Tea (doubles battle money). The bottom path has a Gold Hoplin fight (four of them... use the aforementioned Banana Shake + Black Tea combo to use two all-range moves in one turn before any of them can run away, and get 4000 gold for it) and a five-round Battle Gym. The Battle Gym was the last thing I did on Sunday (I've been playing the game, collectively, for three hours tonight. Yikes). I got an EXP-doubling Persimmon Smoothie!

I should note: These later-game Battle Gyms provide more experience points than a whole squadron of Rare Hoplins, so the optimal thing to do with your EXP-doubling smoothies is use them in the Battle Gyms. The Gold Hoplin fights, however, are still by far the best money-makers. By the way, you can buy Chia-Seed Smoothies from the General Store, and these have the effect of giving you an extra turn. That's overpowered purchasing.

On Monday night, right when I'm trying to start the game up, I figure out that my arms are sore. Still, I should press on... to Soaring Valley! Honey and Hubby from the General Store are there, and Honey still wishes to get to the Land of Hades for some reason. A Mysterious Ghost warns us we must pass Soaring Valley in under 250 steps or else we'll end up back at the entrance. ...Uh...why do WE want to go to Hades, exactly? In any case, Soaring Valley is another palette swap snow mountain flying level, and you will clear it in far under 250 steps because the majority of it involves flying. That begs the question how Honey tries to get to the end. ...Does she climb all the way down the mountain and walk...? Because that's a sure way to get over 250 steps!

The entrance to the Land of Hades apparently opens, as does a bunch of requests and the last warp zone. Let's cover that warp zone first. It has two filler levels (Rear Byway, featuring many Back Press carts; and Inner Byway, featuring many Squat trampolines) and an overworld treasure chest containing a Skill Drink.

As for the requests? There's one to complete the first Battle Gym (the one in the second warp zone) in under 13 turns, which is... easy. This time, I happened to do it in 11 turns, which may not sound like a big difference from 13, but it's... a big difference. I got two Diamonds for that. On a more interesting note, the second Battle Gym is offering a “Jungle Gator” set of pants if I can clear it with a Great! ratio of 90% or more. Not a problem. I got 99%. As for the last request available to me? I'll handle that... another day! 

Specifically Tuesday. The Core Set Fitness Gym request asks that you clear with an average of 90 points or more, in return for the “Jungle Gator” top. I planned on cheating... but instead, I did everything by the book. Even Bow Pull and Planks. Planks did expose that my left knee is really messed up and in pain for some reason, though.

It's time to go to the Entrance to Hades level, which advertises that there is a guard at the end of the level. The Mysterious Ghost guide thinks it has something to do with the Four Masters. I hope it's not some amalgamation of their half-digested body parts or something. 

Interestingly, there are Mini Dragaux Statues along the way of the course, along with massive Dragaux statues in the background. Hm, I can't help but feel that Dragaux is connected to this... The Mini Dragaux Statues can only be three-round KO'd by my strongest Fit Skills, so they're a big level above the Mini Dragaux Statues from World 13: El Dorago. 

Take a wild guess why the path to the Land of Hades is filled with Dragaux-related infrastructure.

The boss battle at the end, as you might be able to guess, is a regular-sized (life-sized) Dragaux Statue, with two Dark Matta Ray+s and two Dark Megaphauna+s as support. You'll want to take those supporting enemies (they will heal and buff the Dragaux Statue's offence and/or defence, making it very dangerous and/or durable) first, but they have enough HP that you'll have to basically dedicate three (or more!) all-range attacks to wipe them out. Then you can focus on Dragaux Statue with your most powerful Fit Skills. There aren't any super special attacks you need to look out for. It's just you slugging it with a statue.

I'm a proven sucker for statue laser beam photos. This one is with the big statue!

Beating the Dragaux Statue finally got me the Dragaux Statue Core to complete the Stone Dragon outfit introduced in World 13! The stats are terrible so many worlds later, but oh well. That's it for me tonight, at least...

I took Wednesday off to recover. Thursday? We better begin World 22: Land of Hades. This is a HUGE world, spanning two screens on the overworld WITH a warp zone. There are apparently 17 courses and 10 requests, which is by far the most content in a world. Here to guide me through this place is the helpful ghost from World 21, which is now revealed to be Guru Andma's ghost. Apparently being eaten by Dragaux has freed all four of the Four Masters’ souls from the dark influence... but their bodies are still inside, uh, Dragaux's digestion system. We gotta go through this world to save them. Or something.

First level is an obligatory filler warm-up, called Exercise Paradise. All it did was remind me that I need to change Ring's voice back to masculine. There was also a forced treasure chest for the Red Moon Smoothie, where you get 4.5 hearts of recovery, Red Fit Skill attack power↑↑, and a guaranteed rush attack if you mix together 2 Figs, 2 Tomatoes, and 2 Parsley. I don't have any Parsley yet...

If you go enter the Land of Hades General Store a second time, they still call me Previously Unknown Customer instead of Koopa#5969.

But I do now have access to the town. We've found Honey's grandmother, named Sweetie. She's married to Snookums, which I guess is a dead version of Hubby. They mentioned Sir Grrrus (three 'r's) as the guardian between the lands of the dead and living. I guess it's a Cerberus sort of dog. An Old Man in town also told me he regrets not giving his bones Calcium and Vitamin D back when he still had bones. He's a ghost now. Eek.

After the town, the map splits into two paths. Both have a level, and then the upper one has a Battle Gym while the lower one has a Fitness Gym. I'll have to go through both eventually, but for now, I'll start with the... upper path! Which features a spirit Allegra, who gives some information on her backstory and regret that she was manipulated by Dragaux. However, she also says she wishes to push us around, and says we must clear the level, Uplift Temple, with the Legs Fit Skills of her choosing. Well, I better just avoid all of the battles...!

Oh, how I adore Bad Allegra... ♥
She's not for you, Ring!

Except I tried jumping over the monsters and the game forced a fight anyway. OH NO... I gotta work with all Lv.2 skills only (weak compared to Lv.3!), and half of them are variations of squats. Fortunately, I can get by with Knee-Lift Combo, Knee Lift, and Thigh Press, in combination with power-boosting Grape Smoothies, and avoid squatting altogether. Getting through Uplift Temple made Allegra acknowledge she has nothing left to teach us... and a Housekeeper appeared in town to ask that I clear 50 pieces of trash at Exercise Paradise. Not the time, lady... but she's offering two Defense Drinks, and I could use that, so alright. That said, Allegra's course exhausted me and I'm drenched in sweat.

You can push me around for longer than that, too!
(Just don't push me into a squatting position...)

Upon picking up 58 pieces of trash, the Housekeeper thanked me and put me on the Beautification Committee. ...Well... I plan to be way out of here by the time they meet. My immediate future is heading to the Battle Gym on the upper path, where there are five rounds! It took me 11 turns to get through it, and I'm totally exhausted. The Battle Gym gave me a Matcha Shake recipe, where I can blend 2 Vanilla Ice Creams and 2 Matcha Powders for Green Attack Power↑↑ and a guaranteed rush attack. I don't know what a Yoga-based rush attack is like, so maybe I'll find that out later. Another day.

On Friday night, rather than venturing through the second part of the overworld map, I figure I should go through the lower path. It's hosted by the ghost of Armando, who reveals that he's very lonely and perfected his bulging biceps in hopes of getting a girlfriend. That's why he opened up the Flex Dojo to begin with—to attract a secret admirer. Except it didn't work out that way, and his days among the living have gone to waste.

I gotta say, I can empathise with that sentiment. Though I don't support being restricted with Arms Fit Skills. Although the level I gotta go through, Gunsho Temple, has an awesome name.

Here I thought I'd have to be subjected to an ARMS reference or something...
...But it's actually a Second Amendment reference! Gunsho Temple! Best course name in the entire Ring Fit Adventure!
(The actual course itself is one I've seen at least four times already, not counting replays, but oh well...)

Gunsho Temple has the Push-Pull Temple push/pull blocks, which means it's another one of those levels. I'm still forced to do every enemy encounter, and I'm given a choice of only five Fit Skills: Overhead Press Lv.2, Bow Pull Lv.2, Tricep Kickback Lv.2, Back Press Lv.2, and Overhead Arm Spin. ...That last one is level 1, I guess, and really weak. I admit, after one round of Overhead Presses (37 reps), my arms are totally beat. But there was still more to the level. In fact, it took nearly 17 minutes to clear. Being on level 30 difficulty just makes everything take much longer.

...Maybe I should try learning from this?
...Nah.

Armando realised that life isn't just about trying to get a girlfriend (though that's still unresolved for him). Many people have come to depend on him for his arm expertise, and he has to exist (as much as he can in Hades?) for their sake. Armando then gave me access to... the Fitness Gym. It's the Aerobic Set, described as, “For working up a sweat!” Personally, I already have one of those, but here's what is included...

1. Overhead Hip Shake (x60)—OH! Is this the type of stuff that this Fitness Gym is going to involve? A compilation of my favourite Fit Skills? Hell yes! You just gotta shake your hips left and right. Very fast to get through 60. For some reason, it sometimes gave me ~95 or so points on my right hip shake. Oy vey.
2. Knee Lift (x60)—Lift your left knee up, and your right up, and keep doing that! Oh, and the Ring-Con is initially held above your head and drops to just above your knees each time it's lifted.
3. Overhead Squat (x30)—When I heard the game announce the next Fit Skill is Overhead Squat, I f-bombed to my Switch. This Fitness Gym was going so well...Unlike boss fights where you have to Overhead Squat for 40–60 seconds, here each one is 4–5 seconds. You only need to drop your hips as low as the flaming-legs visual indicator on screen.
4. Side Step (x60)—Uno, dos! Step your feet to the side (left and right) while your arms hold the Ring-Con above your head/in front of you.
5. Mountain Climbers (x60)—Ew. These things. Get on your fours and make it seem like your legs are running (with “big, high steps”) except your hands are actually on the ground. The Ring-Con is uninvolved. If you try to breathe, the game will count your in-action as an attempt at a repetition, and give you 5 points out of 100 or something. It's unclear how the game grades your right-leg Mountain Climbers, since the Leg Strap is only on the left leg.
6. Leg Scissors (x60)—Finally, the last one. Again, no Ring-Con. Get your back on the floor, extend your legs, and repeatedly cross them. Again, if you try to pause (without access to the pause button, which is on the Ring-Con you're not holding), it'll count that as a failed repetition.

The reward for passing the Fitness Gym was the Super Ashitaba Smoothie Recipe. For 2 Bananas, 1 Spinach, and 1 Ashitaba, you can restore 11 hearts and recharge your Fit Skill timers. By comparison, the regular Ashitaba Smoothie is 1 Banana, 1 Spinach, and 1 Ashitaba and it only restores 4 hearts.

Before the next story levels on the second part of the overworld map, each path (upper and lower) has a filler level. The lower path's is called Slab Paradise, and it's a bunch of cart segments. The upper path's is called Perspiration Paradise (ew), and it's another palette swap level with a lot of running and jumping, which is more fun than the cart segments. This leaves story-based levels next, and I'm sure they involve Abdonis and Guru Andma.

I think it's best to leave those for next week's fitness log and end it here. Besides, I'm tired.

That Sunday 41 minutes still isn't counting all of that Rhythm Game activity I did.

Ludwig's biceps aren't anything like Armando's. Roy Koopa, maybe. But Roy is suave and seems pretty successful. Since Ludwig put Gunsho in the article headline and not the laser eyes, he apparently likes guns more than lasers. But what if they were laser-guns? That should be protected by the United States Second Amendment as well. Do you think Ludwig will be able to actually finish the entire World 22 within Week 22? He's apparently barely over a quarter done, and he's dedicated two days to it.


Ludwig completes World 22 within Week 22!
Ludwig neglecting to take his Core seriously without cheating later comes back to haunt him, as he needs to visit a chiropractor.
Ludwig returns to the Between Land in World 44, and that Dragaux Statue gets some personality.
The Gunsho Temple also reappears in World 45, and it has a really important treasure chest.