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Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Version 8.0.0 Impressions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's a hero I'm excited for, and it sure isn't Min Min.

Most people will associate Super Smash Bros. Ultimate version 8.0.0—revealed in a presentation last week and released as of last night—as the version update that added Min Min and a bunch of ARMS music to the game, within the new Spring Stadium stage. Some speculators will be excited about the prospect of base game Spirits no longer deconfirming future downloadable content character selections. Speaking of spirits, a few high score nerds will seek to maximise their scores in the new spirit battle rematches feature.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Min Min tourney mode June 29 2020 bracket
This looks like a Min Minfiltration.

I think I've made it clear that I'm most hyped for the updates to the fighters that come with the new update. Here are the patch notes details. (I'll note that Kirby and Captain Falcon featured in Min Min's trailer and were big beneficiaries of updates, and it was pretty much just buffs without nerfs.) If that comes across as gibberish to you, perhaps this before and after video from Beefy Smash Dudes will help:

What am I most interested in? Well:

Monday, June 29, 2020

The CAPCOM Greatest Hits Sale of June 2020!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's also around for the first two days of July 2020.

Did you miss the massive FakE3 2020 games sale from two weeks ago? Well, it's a new week, and at the very least, that means CAPCOM is putting (some of) their games on sale again. Really:

Capcom Greatest Hits Sale June 2020 Nintendo eshop
CAPCOM Greatest Hits Sale, from June 25 to July 2 (or July 3 at 2:59 AM on Eastern Time).
If you're able to remember the history of all of these sales (and it's hard, since they all morph together in your head), you'd remember that we also got a CAPCOM Greatest Hits Sale three months ago in March 2020. That one had seven games, while this one had eight games. Here's a comparison table:

Friday, June 26, 2020

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate June 2020 Fighter Usage Stats: Last Before the Min Min Era!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The state of the online metagame before Min Min.

As revealed at the start of this week, Min Min from ARMS is going to be a part of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate at the start of next week. That will not only introduce Min Min, but there will also be balance changes. I'm looking forward to those, especially after the concern that patches wouldn't be implemented anytime soon due to the Chinese Communist Party Virus making it difficult for developers to work.

All of that means that the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate metagame—especially online—will change forever beginning on June 29–30, 2020. You should recall the existence of the official Nintendo-sponsored Super Smash Bros. Ultimate North American Online Open May 2020, with the majority of it taking place in June 2020. Right after that concluded, Min Min got presented. That makes it one of the last Super Smash Bros. Ultimate events before Min Min, and since there are a ton of available stats with a large sample size, it's interesting to see the last snapshot of the metagame.

Congratulations, by the way, to Sumgai (Pichu player from the Northeast USA/Region 7, and perpetual pwner/eliminator of me in these tournaments), The Mighty Dialga (Bayonetta player from Southeast-ish USA/Region 6), Nerysacio (Isabelle player from Mexico/Region 4), and Nessboy12 (Ness player from California/Region 2). Also, congrats to me for being appointed as the only non-tournament-staff moderator in the Discord server for the tournament series. That's a far cry from being banned from every other official Nintendo location ever made.

I'll talk more about my thoughts on the tournament later on in this article, but first, USAGE STATS. Who is being used the most of the cast? Who is being used the least? And how have those numbers changed since we last looked at them in March 2020? Take a look:

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Why Cybersecurity is an Important Issue for the eSports Industry

By JACK WARNER - Beware of the cybersecurity risks you are exposed to.

ESports, the center of entertainment for gamers everywhere. Whether you’re into watching a Smash player eradicate the will of their opponent or witnessing a professional Counter-Strike player clutch a match, eSports has it all.

And while I could go on about the intrinsic nature of the eSports industry, I’d talk about the issues plaguing it. I speak of the cybersecurity issues that haunt fans and professional players alike.

The first cybersecurity issue haunting the industry is that of cheats. There are just so many cheats in competitive games. You don’t have to look too hard to find videos of wallhacks in Counter-Strike: Global Offensive or aimbots in Call of Duty.

Them being everywhere ruins the sanctity of the concept of eSports. I’m sure professionals have used them before. As a matter of fact, according to Polygon, a Counter-Strike pro did get caught using cheats, causing his entire team to be barred from future games, killing the team entirely.

But there are far more problems in the eSports industry than just cheats. Let’s take a moment to talk about the act of stealing/selling accounts.

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Pokémon Presents: Pokémon UNITE Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yeaaaaaah this is laughably bad.

Last week, The Pokémon Company had a presentation covering several new Pokémon projects. The Pokémon Company asked us to tune in this week for “more news” to “please look forward to”.

And so, myself and Heavy Lobster are tuning in today to...this. Warning, as of publishing, the Like:Dislike ratio is 39K:55K.

Update as of July 10, 2020: They Private'd their upload that was embedded here and uploaded it again, so the Like:Dislike ratio is reset. Now it's 144:396.

[8:51 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
[8:52 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, it's set to YouTube "for kids".
[8:52 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So it's probably not something like Pokkén.
[8:55 AM] HeavyLobster: Sounds lame. Pokken 2 would be amazing.
[8:55 AM] HeavyLobster: Please no Let's Go Johto garbage.
[8:55 AM] HeavyLobster: Dumbing down Gen 1 was bad enough.
[8:58 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...uggh.
[8:58 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm more worried about Let's Go Sinnoh.
[8:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Johto can afford to get ruined!
[8:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It already got a fantastic remake.
[8:59 AM] HeavyLobster: Any spinoff outsourced to a quality studio is hype, any annualized release made by Gamefreak is not.
[8:59 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: inb4 spinoff outsourced to a poor studio
[9:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BEGIN

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Was Billy Mitchell Vindicated? Guinness Records Turnabout!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Most everyone else disagrees.

Back in early 2018, KoopaTV reported that Arcade-era record-obtaining legend and hot sauce mogul Billy Mitchell was accused by members of the Donkey Kong Arcade forum of lying and cheating with his records and using a MAME emulator as opposed to an authentic Arcade machine of Donkey Kong. Shortly after that was published, all of Billy Mitchell's records were stripped from the Guinness World Records and gaming leaderboard organisation Twin Galaxies. (Even the ones not directly related to the instance in question, due to him being banned entirely.)

Billy Mitchell failed to provide public counter-evidence in the allotted time span, but instead threatened defamation lawsuits. (Billy Mitchell being seen as a cheater would harm his personal brand and hot sauce business.) Last week, all of a sudden, Guinness reversed their decision and reinstated Billy Mitchell's PAC-MAN and Donkey Kong scores.

According to Craig Glenday, Guinness World Records Editor in Chief, in a video statement,
“Billy Mitchell has made various appearances in the Guinness World Records books since the 1980s, but in 2018, some questions were raised about the technical aspects of his gameplay, and we therefore took the decision to disqualify his records. Mitchell then appealed that decision, and we subsequently reopened his case and re-examined the evidence. This involved reviewing both the existing evidence, and newly-sourced eyewitness testimony, plus some new expert gameplay analyses and hardware verification. In the end, we found that there just wasn't sufficient evidence to support the disqualification across the board. In cases such as this where there is debate, we would typically defer to the original contemporaneous adjudication, and this is the case here. So the result is that the records management team has decided to reverse the decisions made, and reinstate all of Mr. Mitchell's records for PAC-MAN and Donkey Kong.”

Twin Galaxies, however, maintains their ban, and Billy Mitchell is going to take them to court soon (there is a hearing on July 6 at 9 AM, apparently). Many forum posters on the Donkey Kong forum and Twin Galaxies board believe that Guinness World Records is corrupt or paid off somehow, and at no point was this new evidence/analyses/testimony actually presented to the public, which makes things seem very suspicious.

There's two tangential points I want to discuss that don't involve my personal admiration of Billy Mitchell's character and charisma, relating to eSports and my personal experience with Guinness World Records:

Monday, June 22, 2020

KoopaTV Live Reacts to Mr. Sakurai Presenting Min Min from ARMS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Fair and balanced LIVE coverage.

The public has known for three months now that the next downloadable character to be added to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate would be a fighter from Nintendo's 2017 Nintendo Switch title, ARMS. However, they didn't specify WHO from ARMS would be featured, leaving Super Smash Bros. fans in yet another agonising several months of speculation.

Joining KoopaTV's live reaction log are Heavy Lobster—who actually really likes ARMS and is happy that it's getting attention—and myself, who despises ARMS and has been writing prophetic articles about how it's unfortunate that the Super Smash Bros. development team keeps making characters with ever-longer attack ranges, as well as lamenting the fact that the ARMS stage will have significantly more music than the Punch-Out!! stage.

Watch the reveal presentation with us here to follow along:

Friday, June 19, 2020

Jump Rope Challenge for Nintendo Switch Review

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Is this even worth reviewing? Well...

Today, The Last of Us Part II came out. If I wrote to you how I felt about it, Sony will submit a DMCA request and try to shut KoopaTV down. Quite frankly, they don't deserve the attention, so let's talk about Nintendo once again. At the start of this week, they released the free download-only game, Jump Rope Challenge, which is supposed to let you “jump rope” with your Joy-Cons while the software keeps track of how many you've done. You know, so you can stay somewhat physically active while you're unable to buy Ring Fit Adventure due to supply shortages.

I guess I'll review it. There's not much to it, so this should be sort of easy.

Fast Facts

Jump Rope Challenge
Nintendo Switch (incompatible with Nintendo Switch Lite)
Space Required
Approximately 78 MB
ESRB rating
E for Everyone
Number of Players
One to Two
Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price
None, but it's free

I suppose since the game is quite barebones, it doesn't make sense to go section-by-section. There's only one gameplay input: Waggling your Joy-Cons (or one Joy-Con if you're doing multiplayer mode with another person, which isn't a co-op mode but more two rabbits sharing the same screen). You're supposed to be jumping, but the actual input is that the Joy-Con senses any kind of movement. Therefore, it doesn't matter if you're leaping, or bending your knees, or doing anything at all with your body. Personally, I'm just sitting on my chair and drumming the Joy-Cons like that Wii Music drummer from Nintendo's E3 2008:

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Pokémon Smile's “Let the camera see your face!” Made Me Pokémon Frown

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Can you help? ...And would my dentist even approve?

The announcement that I found to be the most hype from yesterday's Pokémon Presents was Pokémon Smile. Why? Because I already am on the record (and photographed it) as a supporter and practitioner of integrating Pokémon and oral care. Pokémon Smile was made for me. (Well, besides the whole “it's for little kids assisted by their parents” bit.) Even better, it's full of cute artwork, which is another thing I really appreciate.

Pokémon Smile starters Bulbasaur Charmander Squirtle Pikachu Eevee
Here are the Starter Pokémon you can choose from.
I, of course, went with Squirtle.
Pokémon Smile artwork Pikachu Snorlax Slowpoke Pidgey Lapras Vulpix Onix Exeggutor Psyduck Jigglypuff Mewoth Scyther Dewgong Gengar Charizard Electabuzz Metapod Poliwag Aerodactyl Sandshrew
Do you think little kids only care about the first generation?
(From left-to-right row-by-row:
Pikachu, Snorlax, Slowpoke, Pidgey, Lapras.
Vulpix, Onix, Exeggutor, Psyduck, Jigglypuff.
Meowth, Scyther, Dewgong, Gengar, Charizard.
Electabuzz, Metapod, Poliwag, Aerodactyl, Sandshrew.)

Here's the downside. The game didn't even work. (Scroll to the bottom of the article for an update.) I get stuck at this screen:

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Pokémon Presents (June 17, 2020) Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ludwig versus his dentist.

The President and CEO of The Pokémon Company, Tsunekazu Ishihara, has almost 11 minutes of Pokémon information to share!

And KoopaTV is here to react to it. Well, just me. No one else bothered to show up. No one else ever shows up to these Pokémon Directs (branded as Pokémon Presents). Oh well, I can handle it. Here we go:

[8:47 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
[9:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not sure if I'm even supposed to live react to this or I should just do a write-up of it.
[9:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Depends how long this'll go.
[9:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's started. With a two-minute countdown.
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BLACK PIKACHU
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ishihara from The Pokémon Company.
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I hope the titles shown today"
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: PLURAL
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: what
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: excuse me
[9:03 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pokémon Smile?

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

What or Who is a BOOMER BILL?


Yesterday, I wrote about Zoomers. Today, I'm going to write about Boomers. (Though unlike the Generation Z demographic, Baby Boomers are a minuscule fraction of KoopaTV's audience, so I'll end up offending much less of my audience today.)

Specifically, I'm here to question the existence of the Boomer Bill. What's a Boomer Bill? Well, at first glance, it's a made-up variant of the Bullet Bill, only seen in the troubling collaboration between Nintendo and LEGO that KoopaTV has been covering for months. Indeed, today they announced, on top of the costume packs from last month, there will be ten total expansion packs. Note that the base product still isn't even out yet. Here's the full expansion set list, per LEGO press release: 
  1. LEGO® Super Mario™ Guarded Fortress Expansion Set (49.99 USD/EUR) 
  2. LEGO® Super Mario™ Desert Pokey Expansion Set (19.99 USD/EUR) 
  3. LEGO® Super Mario™ Whomp’s Lava Trouble Expansion Set (19.99 USD/EUR) 
  4. LEGO® Super Mario™ Piranha Plant Power Slide Expansion Set (29.99 USD/EUR) 
  5. LEGO® Super Mario™ Boomer Bill Barrage Expansion Set (29.99 USD/EUR) 
  6. LEGO® Super Mario™ Mario’s House & Yoshi Expansion Set (29.99 USD EUR) 
  7. LEGO® Super Mario™ Toad’s Treasure Hunt Expansion Set (69.99 USD/EUR) 
  8. LEGO® Super Mario™ Bowser’s Castle Boss Battle Expansion Set (99.99 USD/EUR) 
  9. LEGO® Super Mario™ Thwomp Drop Expansion Set (39.99 USD/EUR, available only with select retailers) 
  10. LEGO® Super Mario™ King Boo and the Haunted Yard Expansion Set (49.99 USD/EUR, available only with select retailers) 
On top of all of that, there's a gacha-esque set of character packs (or “blind bags”), where you don't know what's inside of them, but one 4.99 USD/EUR pack can contain one of:

Monday, June 15, 2020

The Year is 200X: Ludwig Von Koopa Versus ZOOMERS!


Alright, you may remember Bringing Back the '80s. You may also remember Hailing from the '90s. These were so-called Event Tourneys in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate that restricted character usage (and stages) and were playable online for a limited time. Unfortunately, a major theme of those was that I, Ludwig Von Koopa, was not available as a playable character, despite me being around back in those days. (Look up Super Mario Bros. 3.)

Well, over the weekend, Nintendo held yet another Event Tourney: The Year is 200X tournament. And... strangely enough, I'm somehow available in this one. It's described as:
“This time-limited tourney is for fighters and stages created between 2000 and 2009!

The further you advance, the better the spirit you'll win!”

But before we get to talking about myself, let's note that the Mii Fighters are also available, and that results in witnessing (and fighting against) disasters such as: 

Friday, June 12, 2020

A Closer Look at Paper Mario: The Origami King

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Do I like what I see?

Just how does Nintendo react to Sony claiming the future of gaming?

With this video:


Hopefully, you remember our first look at Paper Mario: The Origami King from last month. Today, it's time to take a second, closer look, which hopefully answers several questions. And, I mean, look at that thumbnail. LOOKS PARTNER-Y, and the trailer even asks what kind of adventure it would be without companions to share it with. ...But this article is about a closer look, not just your first look. And Paper Mario: The Origami King is worth inspecting closely, since Paper Mario games have a documented history of having untrustworthy trailers.

Said partners include the amnesiac Bobby the Bob-omb, the curious Professor Toad the Toad, and KoopaTV staffer Kamek the Magikoopa.

Thursday, June 11, 2020

KoopaTV Live Reacts to PlayStation 5's The Future of Gaming Conference

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Remember throughout that they are promising the biggest generational transition in the history of the videogame industry.

Unfortunately, we are living in an era known as FakE3 2020, where the week(s)-long succession of intense gaming news drops and coverage... doesn't exist.

However, one company, Sony, dares to have a legitimate conference (or Direct) during what would have been E3 2020. That's quite interesting, since they swore off participating at the real E3 2020 if it was going to actually happen, but they're also the only ones who are getting into FakE3 2020.

Sony promises to reveal many games and details about the PlayStation 5, of which we only really know it's coming out later in 2020 and it has a weird and offensive (to some) controller, the DualSense.

Join me and Heavy Lobster (and... Kamek...who flew in on his broom very late and then had his own set of reactions at the end of the log, which take a more optimistic tone) as we watched Sony's conference, which you can also watch a video-on-demand of here:

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Toyko Out of Emergency. Implications? Where's PEGASUS DREAM TOUR?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV has an exclusive scoop.

My apologies for not initially bringing this up (mostly because how little media coverage it was getting so I didn't know about it): At the same time the 2020 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo were announced to be delayed, the 2020 Summer Paralympic Games in Tokyo were also delayed.

The reason why the Paralympic Games are of interest is that last year, we brought up a game called The Pegasus Dream Tour. It's a very stylised sports role-playing game around the Paralympics, brought to you by a former director of Square Enix, Hajime Tobata, at his new company JP GAMES. Seems very interesting. But we've heard no news on it since it was announced. Well, until now.

...But, first, let's briefly talk about the state of affairs on Japan in general. Japan has ended their nationwide state of emergency. This has some profound implications, including that Japanese companies like Nintendo can fully go back to work on things like fixing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate's metagame. And, uh, making new games. Like a new Ace Attorney.

OR, like The Pegasus Dream Tour. I actually reached out to JP GAMES, the developer:

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Nintendo Summer Game Sale of 2020... aka FakE3 Digital Game Sale

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's not even summer, but Nintendo won't let facts get in the way.

While Nintendo of America remains absolutely silent (so are their European counterparts, though this article applies to them as well), the Nintendo eShop is bustling with activity: over 1300 games have a discount deal right now, starting June 9 and ending June 16. Nintendo deems it the Summer Game Sale, despite summer beginning June 20, 2020. Of course, this is the same company that names a tournament after Spring even though Spring had not started yet, and then named a tournament after May despite it mostly taking place in June. At least, as initially scheduled.

Anyway, Summer Game Sale. Tons and tons of games are on sale, which you can see for yourself here. Even first-party Nintendo games that very rarely get discounted like Kirby Star Allies (which I strongly endorse), Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (for $42, just slightly below the Wii U original price!), Mario Tennis Aces, and New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe. (But not, say, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, or Splatoon 2, or Fire Emblem: Three Houses, or even ARMS.)

Dragon Quest XI S is $42, too, and that's Game of THAT Year 2019. So many games I could name-drop that have been covered on KoopaTV are on sale right now! Even games like Murder by Numbers, which... I won't get because the icky Picross is quite prominent.

Since this is KoopaTV, I'm obligated to point out that the Ace Attorney games are on sale for Nintendo 3DS and Switch.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy is also 50% off on the Xbox One, but as of writing, not Steam or PlayStation 4.
(So are many/all of CAPCOM's other games, including Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection if you missed that two weeks ago.)

Let's be frank. It's no coincidence this sale exists now, and today. After all, today is when E3 2020 would have started, and Nintendo would have had a huge presentation. They usually do have giant sales (with first-party games) following E3. It's a hype-generator. The question for us now is... Will Nintendo actually do anything hype-worthy during this time period, or is this sale just a vestige of old times before the Chinese Communist Party screwed up Earth with its virus?

Let Ludwig know about the sales you picked up and found... if you want. Or don't buy anything. He doesn't plan to himself. He was gonna have to write about this either way since there's Ace Attorney, which he doesn't expect any news about in the FakE3 2020 time period, though he wishes there was. By the way, Ludwig finished Mega Man 11. He still loathes Yellow Devil.

The last time all of the Ace Attorney games were on sale was the April 2020 CAPCOM Spring Sale, which actually was during Spring.
CAPCOM put eight of their games on sale by the end of June 2020, including two Ace Attorney titles.
Ludwig will buy Murder by Numbers next time it is on sale.
There's a sale like this for real E3 in 2021.

Monday, June 8, 2020

It Would've Been E3 2020 Now... But Here's FakE3 2020!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What a sorry state.

In previous years on KoopaTV, we would already have our Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) schedule up for the year and have covered multiple company conferences with live reaction logs that would've taken place on Sunday and Monday. We would even have a temporary and unique logo for the occasion.

E3 2020 is cancelled, however, thanks to coronavirus concerns. Same ones that cancel everything else, including the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. (Well, almost everything. Riots/protests still happen.)

Does that mean the videogame companies that were going to show up to E3 2020 and make announcements there, will just make the announcements around this timeframe anyway, but for FakE3 2020? (Or IGN's FakE3 2020.) Well... that's unclear. Some companies are. Some haven't announced it. There's no Nintendo on any FakE3 2020 schedule. Meanwhile, Sony is doing their own thing on Thursday. I guess we'll cover it here. But it wasn't even supposed to be during this week. What a mess.

I guess you could argue if the videogame industry is going to move on and do well regardless, then E3 isn't even needed and should stay dead. Just have The Game Awards in December.

Oh, what a nasty fate that'd be, for that awful event to be THE annual event for the gaming industry.

Let's just make the Tokyo Game Show the new E3. And hope they actually announce USEFUL stuff there.

By the way, every E3 has a pre-E3 tragedy. This year's tragedy was obviously the killing of George Floyd. No one contests that! The tradition is apparently so strong or scheduled so far in advance by destiny, it happens even when E3 gets cancelled.

KoopaTV covered E3 2019 atypically, but here was its schedule article.
Here is Sony's presentation, the only one during the would-be E3 2020 time period, featuring the PlayStation 5.
Nintendo has an out-of-season Treehouse Live to check out.
And here is the Xbox presentation, which is quite like what a real E3 one would be like.
Turns out the Tokyo Game Show of 2020 was useless, too.
Here's the E3 Weeks 2021 Schedule next year, since E3 2021 is a real thing that happened.

Friday, June 5, 2020

Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics released today

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...But you wouldn't know it if you relied on official social media for your information. Fortunately, you have KoopaTV.

Today, a game that immediately piqued my interest back in the March 2020 Nintendo Direct Mini, Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics, released on the Nintendo Switch. It's a sequel to a version on the Nintendo DS with different classics on it that I never had, so I'm looking at Clubhouse Games with independent interest.

But Nintendo's social media has gone radio silent. Nothing on Twitter or Facebook. Nothing even on YouTube, which means that Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics lacks a launch trailer. Rest assured, the game is out. You can buy it right now on the Nintendo eShop for $40. It also has a press release and an in-console Switch News article. 

Apparently, no one is allowed to have fun while there are dangerous protests going on. Human life is more important than 51 clubhouse games that are reproduced beautifully on the Switch, with surprisingly satisfying sound effects and production values.

Clubhouse Games 51 Worldwide Classics power corrupts President Nintendo Switch Black Lives Matter
Nintendo should've posted this image on social media to acknowledge Black Lives Matter, as opposed to what they actually did.
It's a perfect topical message with perfect delivery, and it has a dual purpose of promoting a game that needs promoting!

However, if you do believe that you're allowed to have some fun in your life (whether that's an innate moral value or you're just exercising your “privilege”), check out the free demo, Clubhouse Games Guest Pass. Not only can you use that to play local multiplayer with someone who owns the full version of the game, but it also has four games you can play by yourself for free: Four-in-a-Row, Dominoes, President, and Slot Cars. Don't know how to play? The Guest Pass also includes the full set of instructions for all 51 games, along with the amusing fully voice-acted introductions between the NPCs that give the game immense flavour. That's a whole bunch of value all on its own, even if you don't intend to buy the game, and it's free.

Clubhouse Games 51 Worldwide Classics Sliding Puzzle no turtle problems Nintendo Switch
You're turning a blind eye to the systemic anti-turtle behaviours in your society.
KoopaTV has covered these repeatedly on World Turtle Day, most recently a few weeks ago.

Ludwig figures that the game will be better with friends you know will get it (as opposed to a single player experience versus computer players), so he's going to poll around the KoopaTV staff and others to see if they'd be interested in buying the game. He does want to get the game physically, so either way he'll wait until game stores are open for everyone (without relying on curbside pickup or something). He does need to go refill his stash of eShop cards for future KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program rounds, after all. Waiting a bit before buying Clubhouse Games will also indicate if the game's appeal is a flash in the pan, or if it has staying power.

Thursday, June 4, 2020

Did Social Distancing Stop Being a Priority?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Sure seems that way.

Some of you humans seem to enjoy killing each other. Then the rest of you humans burn your own communities down since you're upset. Several years ago, I wrote an “unbelievably offensive” article combining the concepts of Super Smash Bros. For Wii U being released during the Ferguson, Missouri riots. I reread it just before starting to write this article, and I noticed I spent the entire time being cheeky about the situation, rather than actually giving much of an opinion on the issue.

I'll put my opinion up front on the newest set of riots, around the killing of George Floyd by what appears to be the very long, lingering frames of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin's Knee of Injustice. (I can't get the word “chauvinism” out of my mind while reading his name.) Well, riots and indiscriminately burning stuff with torches are often bad, sure. Protests against overbearing corrupt authority (and this is what I think of the police) are fine. I mean, they have to be. I support the protests in Hong Kong against the overreach and evils of the Communist Chinese Party. To the extent in Hong Kong the protests were violent, and I'm fine with those, well... I think that's justifiable.

I prefer movements that have actual goals. Derek Chauvin got arrested and charged with a degree of murder and manslaughter. Yet people are still protesting. Why? I guess to prevent more people from getting killed, unnecessarily, by cops. How will protesting prevent that? It won't. I mean, murder—even by cops—is already illegal.

But nevermind that. There's another issue I'm MUCH more bothered with, and I have a personal stake in it.

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Not All Cops Are Bad. This One Stomped on Mario!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Well, he might be bad in any other instance of his job that we don't get to see on camera.

Here is a Koopa's first experience with the police force on an Earth country, specifically the United States of America. It's not pleasant:

Super Mario Bros. Super Show Flatbush Koopa Troopa cops police chase bridge
Three Koopa Troopas being chased by four (WHITE) cops, just for being green-skinned.
(Or at least, that's what it seems like. No one asked them why. Too busy running.)

We're definitely not friends of your brutal police force. I'm of the opinion that you Americans have a strong Second Amendment to protect yourselves from your police, which otherwise have a monopoly on force, which tends to be quite corrupting for humans. (That doesn't apply to the benevolent monarchy of Koopa Kingdom, which has no documented cases of law enforcement brutality on its own citizens.)

The police, after all, have no obligation to actually protect you or your property. That's up to you.

With the police being of little use to anyone but themselves (and they get to survive by the force of corrupt unions and their donations to Democrats), it was astonishing to see, on footage, at least one cop do a good thing:

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Tauros and Bouffalant are back... See them at the Isle of Armor!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's also Galarian Articuno, and it shoots laser beams from its eyes. That's cool!

Displacing some non-videogame-related news today is The Pokémon Company International with a news drop on the upcoming downloadable content expansion packs for Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield's Isle of Armor and Crown Tundra, first announced at the start of 2020. I called the existence of the expansion packs scumbaggy, but I won't let that colour my reactions to the news:

Two quick notes: One, don't let the length of the video fool you. There's even more information about everything on the official Pokémon website. Two, even though the thumbnail is of humans, I don't care about them, and I won't be commenting about the humans in this article.

Monday, June 1, 2020

KoopaTV's May 2020 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - May was hardly a month, but boy did KoopaTV go hard!

Does anyone want to read a newsletter going over May 2020 from KoopaTV right now? Well, at least a few dozen of you should want to. It'll be good, possibly uplifting stuff. Promise. Koopa's honour.

Let's start with great content: 

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of May 2020

Everything on KoopaTV is worth reading, and there were SO MANY GOOD CANDIDATES for this, but you should super-check these out (in chronological order...which makes my recency bias obvious):
  1. KoopaTV's Seven-Year Anniversary: Seven Star Stamps for SUPERSTAR!  — KoopaTV's fantastic seven-year anniversary article, which you'll want to read if you're interested in either Mario Party 3, or me bragging about myself/this site.
  2. World Turtle Day: Rescuing Fire-Attacked Turtles (from MARIO!) — This month's Enlightenment Movement article, from the important topic of World Turtle Day 2020 and Mario's impact on a cold case (involving a hot fire!) in 2016.
  3. Memorial to the Fallen Robotic Operating Buddies — The tragedy of the underappreciated robots, last seen in Super Smash Bros. Brawl's Subspace Emissary story. They're wiped out now.
  4. Team Ketchup WON the Splatfest? What timeline are we in?! — While I dislike Squidwig taking over my account and publishing an unauthorised article, I suppose he does raise a good point that I'm seeing discussed in other places about how the chaos of his world is causing things to be undone. Though he's quite rude towards me.
  5. Xenoblade Chronicles: A Modern Classic — Heavy Lobster makes the case that Xenoblade Chronicles has a lasting legacy, despite its unlikely initial release situation. Now Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition is out.