By CAPTAIN STITCH - Essential Gordo info for the complete experience.
Halloween is the second most wonderful time of the year. Putting aside the risks of drug-laced candy, it gives our youth a chance to reenact the motions of the heroes (and villains) from yesteryear. Truly, it does bring a tear to one's eye, at the joy the children often have for the most vile and repulsive caricatures. A different tear is brought to the eye of the parents who bear witness to this event. Pirates, Vikings, Demons, and the very worst offenders, video game characters.
This Halloween I must implore all of you reading this message to put an end to this annual circus of debauchery the only way I know how. By insisting the next generation dons the appearance of the Gordo this upcoming Halloween. It is the only way to keep the pure and innocent minds of our youth pure and innocent, whilst also enabling them to grow up through the reenactment of moral historical figures. Now some of you may say that what I've just said speaks to a lot of cognitive dissonance, and that Gordos are video game characters as well. To that I say, did you know that the Gordo hasn’t just appeared in the Kirby franchise, but also have cameos in Super Mario Land, Link's Awakening, and multiple Super Smash Bros. games. That’s right, we got a cameo before it was cool for everyone to do it ala Spirits. You may also have qualms about our actual morality but I can assure you the Gordo are patron saints.
Halloween is the second most wonderful time of the year. Putting aside the risks of drug-laced candy, it gives our youth a chance to reenact the motions of the heroes (and villains) from yesteryear. Truly, it does bring a tear to one's eye, at the joy the children often have for the most vile and repulsive caricatures. A different tear is brought to the eye of the parents who bear witness to this event. Pirates, Vikings, Demons, and the very worst offenders, video game characters.
Ghost Gordos, very spooky, a perfect costume choice. |
This Halloween I must implore all of you reading this message to put an end to this annual circus of debauchery the only way I know how. By insisting the next generation dons the appearance of the Gordo this upcoming Halloween. It is the only way to keep the pure and innocent minds of our youth pure and innocent, whilst also enabling them to grow up through the reenactment of moral historical figures. Now some of you may say that what I've just said speaks to a lot of cognitive dissonance, and that Gordos are video game characters as well. To that I say, did you know that the Gordo hasn’t just appeared in the Kirby franchise, but also have cameos in Super Mario Land, Link's Awakening, and multiple Super Smash Bros. games. That’s right, we got a cameo before it was cool for everyone to do it ala Spirits. You may also have qualms about our actual morality but I can assure you the Gordo are patron saints.