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Friday, September 30, 2016

How Similar Are Splatoon and Paper Mario: Color Splash?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Uh... not on any serious level.

I remember writing sometime early on in KoopaTV's history that the site will have a larger purpose than merely being a vehicle to communicate Nintendo's marketing schemes. Well, guess we've shamelessly changed attitudes since then. Though, in my defence, you guys request this sort of thing, with a request coming in for me to give my analysis on this tweet from the Nintendo of America Twitter:

My task is to go over the points that Nintendo makes in the following infographic, which I personally believe to be a piece of self-aware humour, but I'll take it seriously for this article:

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Phoenix Wright's Leitmotif Maturity

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Phoenix Wright's leitmotifs follow his growth as a lawyer. Plus, more Ace Attorney stuff to buy.

I just spent about $16 on Ace Attorney content on the Nintendo 3DS: I bought the five Ace Attorney 3DS menu themes that are being sold for $1.99 each, and $5.99 on the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice DLC that came out today!

Special Episode Turnabout Time Traveler DLC Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Spirit of Justice
Turnabout Time Traveler! Read all about it from CAPCOM here.

You can talk about why everyone is on a first-name basis besides Edgeworth for that DLC description in the comments below, because I have something to actually discuss in this article besides advertising Ace Attorney stuff.

Something I noticed as I was pissing my money on 3DS home menu themes (which are a total waste of money, but I need to lead by example on giving CAPCOM any Ace Attorney-related cash I can) was Phoenix Wright's OBJECTION! themes. Actually, I noticed this a while before today, but let's try to have clean transitions, shall we?

Mr. Wright's OBJECTION! theme from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations (the 3rd game in the series) is now his leitmotif to be reused for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies (5th game) AND Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice (6th game) Meanwhile, his OBJECTION! theme from the first Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is what is used for spin-offs, including Ace Attorney spin-offs and crossovers. I'm sure this has nothing to do with whomever is directing the game in question, and everything to do with Phoenix Wright himself.

First, I'd like to submit some evidence.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Palmer Luckey and the Left's Intolerance

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Diversity of opinion in the gaming industry isn't really welcome.

Despite the near-even split of diverse political views for consumers of the videogame industry, it's no secret that the makers of the industry are very skewed in their beliefs. It's a liberal-aligned industry. It's also no secret that, given the opportunity, the industry and its mouthpieces in the gaming media will go on an all-out assault to attack dissenters, or perceived dissenters, of this liberal mindset. But it's not enough to attack non-liberal activity within games, but every member of the industry must be a leftist or else your whole company gets boycotted by a developer. This makes hiring conservatives, libertarians, and people with common-sense a dicey proposition in business-to-business relationships, doesn't it?

Just look at what is happening to Oculus founder Palmer Luckey

He donated $10,000 to Nimble America, a sketchy pro-Trump/anti-Hillary group that wishes to adorn the United States with meme-filled billboards. Whether he is also a vice president of Nimble America or just a financier of it is up for debate and investigation, but the fact remains that holier-than-thou gaming developers are offended and outraged that anyone in their community would try to do what they can to stop Hillary Clinton.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Paper Mario: Color Splash — Episode 6: Grand Voyage!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Foggy Purple Sea.

Finally, the long-awaited Rescue Purple Toad gets an episode in the popular Nintendo video series, Rescue V! Go watch it:

It's the second-to-last episode. Important stuff. It takes place in the Purple Sea to try to reach the Fortune Island for TREASURE. The sea is renamed to the Lost Sea, or maybe they're different seas. After all, the Lost Sea didn't seem too foggy.

We know that Mario is the one manning the cannon, and the Toads on the pirate ship (was this what MY pirate ship was built to destroy, if Mario didn't interfere?) are just... ordinary Toads. Oh, the captain has a little hat and all, but it appears that the Rescue V's squads are not a part of the crew.

Monday, September 26, 2016

KoopaTV Judges the First Trump vs. Hillary Presidential Debate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At the very least, the most anticipated event of the month!

On one lectern, we have the un-stumpable DONALD J. TRUMP, the man who has earned KoopaTV's endorsement for President of the United States

On the other lectern, we have the corrupt and crooked HILLARY R. CLINTON, the woman so reviled by this website, she has an entire index of articles dedicated to taking her down! (This article will be included.) 

Finally, for the first time, these two candidates will be pitted against one another for an epic, 90-minute event. This will be the first of four debates. Today's, October 4 between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine, October 9 between Trump and Hillary, and October 19 between Trump and Hillary.

That's four debates. Here's how this'll work. We'll rate the candidates out of 100 and give them a grade. For Trump, we'll take that score, and multiply it by .125. For Hillary, we'll take 100, subtract her score from it, multiply that by .125, and add it to the modified Trump score. That's how much money Ludwig will donate to the Trump campaign. (Just don't tell the FEC that a foreigner from Koopa Kingdom is contributing to an American political campaign.) That makes a maximum of $25, and we'll repeat this exercise for the other three debates, for a maximum potential donation of $100!

Hillary Clinton is ineligible for receiving any donations from KoopaTV's staff.

Looks like this:

Donald Trump Hillary Clinton debate scores Excel
Stay tuned for when this changes by the end of the article.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Chrom Got Ousted From NSider2 (Updated 9/25/2016)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A civil war in which neither side is preferable. Seems analogous to something.

You may recall that a lad named YoshiRider123 was once a part of KoopaTV's staff, at our founding. Now he's on our list of traitors. Why? I've explained the relationship between KoopaTV and Chrom in this long story published when we officially fired him. Basically, for one reason or another, he figured his friends (us) were holding him back, as he slowly shifted from the likable YoshiRider123 to this robotic Chrom guy. Possibly as a result of his exposure to Wario: Master of Disguise.

Holding him back from what? A forum called NSider2, the unofficial fan sequel to the Nintendo NSider Forums, which was the official web presence of Nintendo of America from the end of 2003 to September 24, 2007.

...Huh. That'll be nine years ago tomorrow.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Asinine Attorneys, Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2, and Ace Attorney Anime Dub!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Respectively to the title: Give money, beg, and wait to enjoy.

I've been enjoying Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice since its release two weeks ago. And as of publishing, I've only gone through Case 1 and the end of the first Investigation phase of Case 2. (So, next time I play the game, I'll be at the start of Trial Day 1.) It's impressive to impress me that fast, but it's Ace Attorney. It make the miracle happen. (Not a typo... at least, not on my part.)

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Spirit of Justice biased reporting Troupe Gramarye Trucy Wright TV
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice has a very good second case.

That said, this Case 1 isn't really short like some of the other Case 1s in the series. It has a ton of scripting and sound efforts work put into it, as CAPCOM will be quick to tell you.

Case 2 puts a MEDIA figure as a villain, so... that's right up my alley. KoopaTV readers know how much I love to trash the media!

So, because I'm so impressed, I went ahead and bought the two Asinine Attorney short episodes for $3.99 each after one was released last week and the other released today, without even knowing anything about 'em. I think you should do the same.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Paper Mario: Color Splash — Episode 5: Illusion!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Showtime in the Green Woods.

This week's episode of Rescue V, the mostly-weekly showcase from Nintendo of five coloured Toads asserting that they are the true protagonists of the fast-approaching Paper Mario: Color Splash, is supposed to focus on Rescue Green. 

I say supposed to, because, well, check it out for yourself:

Let's face it. Rescue Green is so low-energy that he sleeps (or rests his consciousness) throughout his entire episode. This means the other Toads have to pick up the slack.

Prior to this episode, Rescue Green already was the biggest mystery of the Rescue V, with the least in-episode appearances and the least known about him. That's...still the case. Just what is with this guy?

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Version-exclusive Regular Pokémon in Pokémon Sun and Moon!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Now we know which version Rawk will get.

In last week's... wait, no, TWO WEEKS AGO's episode of Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon news drop, we learned about some version differences: In-game events, and a whole 12 hour time-skip

But people still want to see something that's been missing, besides cover legends: Version-exclusive Pokémon. Because that will substantively affect your playthrough more than swapping Raticate for Yungoos in a boss fight, right? ...Despite the whole trading thing. Whatever. Just watch the info video. Version-exclusive announcements also means new Pokémon, so if you'll just trade through everything, you can at least appreciate the new announcement:

Coming to only Pokémon Sun:

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Hillary Clinton Article Index

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This will be a site tab until after the election.

It is EXTREMELY important that folks, especially readers in the United States of America who are voting age or know people that are voting age in America, know that voting for Hillary Clinton for president this November 8 is a sin and a terrible idea.

...An unforgivable sin, and an unbelievably bad idea.

We promise all sorts of different angles for upcoming articles between now and Tuesday, November 8, 2016, that will all try to communicate this central point of Never Hillary.

Since we already have so much anti-Hillary content, and since we will continue producing content along that theme, and because all of the content builds upon one another...

...I've decided to make this index of Hillary-focused articles. This'll make it easy for me to reference the existing Hillary canon, and it'll make it easy for you to SHARE all of these terrible things about Hillary Clinton that the world needs to know about. I don't care if you're a Donald Trump guy or a Jill Stein...thing, but everyone across the political spectrum should agree that Hillary would be a travesty. There are many more passing references to Hillary on the website, but these, as I said, are more focused on her.

Without further ado, the carefully collated and annotated index, featuring all of the headers being linkable:

Friday, September 16, 2016

Paper Mario: Color Splash Trailer -- The Morton Unfolds


Two days ago, KoopaTV published an article regarding Paper Mario: Color Splash and the newly-revealed "Black Bowser." That's right, Black Bowser. An otherwise-innocent Bowser coated in mysterious black paint, mysterious enough to make Hologram Peach point out that "he seems different somehow."

Paper Mario Color Splash Princess Peach hologram kidnapped by Bowser seems different somehow
Not just "looks", "SEEMS". (...And that Green Toad is way too jubilant in this situation.)

This raises questions about other members of the Koopa family who seem a little "off." Take Morton Koopa Jr. and his peculiarities that we live-reacted to. It was assumed three months ago that Morton had simply been brain-stomped one time too many, but recent Color Splash developments in the past few days -- specifically involving said BLACK paint -- suggest there may be way stranger influences at play here.

Morton Koopa Jr. Huey paint bucket boss battle pedestal Paper Mario Color Splash
What's Huey got in that bucket...? (There's something going on.)

In fact, I think it's time to bleed this preamble like a stuck pig and let Morton speak for himself.

Rawk is going hard in the paint with the audiovisual content. If the above performance changed your view on Morton Koopa Jr. or anything else, let KoopaTV know in the comments below!

If that performance didn't change your view on Morton Koopa Jr. then how about this speech of his?

Thursday, September 15, 2016

A Controversial Opinion on Controversial Opinions on YouTube

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No more controversy on YouTube?

I don't know this from experience, but I've heard there are some issues YouTube creators are having with the service. Specifically, YouTube has these new ADVERTISER-FRIENDLY CONTENT GUIDELINES that allegedly try to sanitise controversy and make things politically correct. Fortunately, this seems to affect people on a bi-partisan manner, with victims ranging from banned sources such as The Young Turks to people against social justice warriors. (Perhaps they'll go after anti-feminist Karen Straughan, who I will now consider some sort of bad person for never advertising or acknowledging her interview with KoopaTV, which subsequently resulted in no one reading it.)

The guidelines themselves are reportedly not new. What is new is that YouTube is being more transparent in what is and what ain't acceptable content if you want money on your videos. In other words, the official story is that the same policies are in place as before, except YouTube is being more up-front as to why. Their communication is improving. 

Apparently, people are frustrated with transparency. They must therefore love (President Barack Hussein) Obamacare! That was a law that was purposefully created to obfuscate and have a lack of transparency for a huge political advantage. That is, according to Obamacare architect Jonathan Gruber.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Black Paint Bowser, Rescue Yellow, and Paper Mario: Color Splash's Hope

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - King Dad finally shows his brilliant, all-black self in Paper Mario: Color Splash. The Great Black Hope!

There is so much material to cover here, so before I get into talking about Black Bowser, we need to clear some other things up. 

First, Nintendo finally released Episode 4 of the Rescue V series. We already covered most of what's interesting for that when I wrote about the Nintendo Minute covering the Yellow Coliseum. That had a splattering of content, too.

Rescue Yellow Toad self defense it's the law Paper Mario Color Splash Stand Your Ground Coliseum Iggy Koopa boss fight Bone
The most important part is that Rescue Yellow would also vote NOT GUILTY in the George Zimmerman trial.

And, because a certain someone in the KoopaTV comments was wondering about this, it's also confirmed that the Yellow Coliseum has multiple NPCs the plumber can talk to that are NOT Toads or Huey. These range from the bone-obsessed Battle Royal clerk to other fighters or fighter-wannabes. These dudes all seem to have good dialogue and as much personality as you can get from one-line people.

Now with that out of the way...

KING BOWSER FEATURING BLACK PAINT! He features in the “The Adventure Unfolds” trailer, narrated similarly to the trailer from E3 2016:

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Pokémon Generations Animated Series: Starting This Week!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Beautiful! BEAUTIFUL. Can't wait.

It turns out there is Pokémon-related news out there besides new Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon drip-feeding. ...Oh, and besides that mobile trash I won't even name, the one that is rapidly losing its player base. Presumably because a majority of them got killed off by now for not taking Herman Cain's advice.

So, yeah, check out what The Pokémon Company International is now up to. It's called Pokémon Generations. It's not a new game or anything, but a new web series that will have 18 episodes covering the best moments from Kanto to Kalos. The first episode is this Friday, September 16, and the last one is Friday, December 23. (Oh! Christmas is a Sunday this year!)

These will be 3–5 minutes each, which should result in about an hour of animated content, overall. That's a much larger game-promoting effort than the likes, of, say, Shigeru Miyamoto's Star Fox Zero — The Battle Begins.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Shigeru Miyamoto Eats a Hamburger To Prove His Point

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No one doubted him on his point, but I do doubt its importance.

Remember Super Mario Run from the middle of last week? New Super Mario Bros.-inspired automatic runner exclusively for Apple mobile trash? Trumpeted up by Shigeru Miyamoto as something you can play on one hand while eating a hamburger?

Here's what Nintendo tweeted out today. There's an embedded video central to this article:

So... no new footage of Super Mario Run, though I doubt you wanted to see any. I mean, isn't it, uh, pretty predictable what you'll see? I couldn't predict that I'd be able to screen-cap this, though:

Friday, September 9, 2016

Kamek and Iggy Koopa in Paper Mario: Color Splash

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Maybe I should ask Iggy to write for us sometime. He seems like the kind of Koopa to do that.

When I wrote this clause yesterday, “Instead of releasing the video that will be the focus of tomorrow's article (...if it's released),” I really thought Nintendo would today release Paper Mario: Color Splash's Rescue V: Episode 4 as part of its series that we've been covering. It'd give us a view of the Yellow Coliseum and the Rescue Yellow Toad squad.

Well, instead, they put out this episode of another web-series they have on their YouTube channel, the Nintendo Minute. This also covers the Yellow Coliseum, though from the perspective of that disgusting red-hatted plumber, not the (presumably virtuous) real protagonist, the yellow-hated Toads. Might as well talk about it.

But first, you gotta see it:

(Remember, Nintendo Minute is never a minute!)
So, we have two important Koopas making introductions here, and Rescue Yellow. KoopaTV staff member Kamek, and one of my brothers, Prince Iggy Koopa!

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice Now Released!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - In America AND Europe!

Let's keep this short and sweet, because I'd rather play games right now than write articles about 'em. Please understand.

We've been waiting a little over a year since the formal announcement of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice (then-known only as “Ace Attorney 6”). Eventually, the game got an official release date of September 8. ...And here we are. The game is out for $30 on the Nintendo 3DS, exclusively for the eShop. Purchase it before September 14 to get the three DLC costumes you see in the Japanese picture here for free, as opposed to $1. That would be The Tiger for Phoenix Wright (Furio Tigre's outfit from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations), School Days for Apollo Justice (his school uniform from that flashback he had in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies), and Trés Bien for Athena Cykes (feminist-triggering french maid waitress outfit from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations).

Oh, I got a picture of them right here, actually, from my own copy.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Super Mario Running To Apple

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Super Mario Run was custom-made to troll my sensibilities.

I know I should feel disgusted and sick from hearing about this, but honestly, I feel pretty numb. This is the sort of thing I've come to expect. 

Here, just watch this garbage and I'll just spend the rest of the article moaning about it like you expect me to. I'm giving the people what they want when Nintendo doesn't give me what I want (or anyone... right? No one WANTS this, right?!):

Let's... try to explain that. Basically, Nintendo (Shigeru Miyamoto) was at the big Apple event and announced this thing, Super Mario Run, coming to Apple devices this December. No word on anything regarding Google, and those Fire Emblem and Animal Crossing mobile things are delayed, not that we knew anything about them.

The big marketing push is that it's Super Mario Bros. action (actually, there's no “bros.” involved. I'm speculating that Luigi is smart enough to avoid this crap) that you can play with... ONE HAND! As Shigeru Miyamoto explains

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Alolan Raticate, Type: Null, and MORE Debut in Pokémon Sun and Moon!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, a legitimate-looking foundation.

It hasn't been a long time since the latest Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon news, though they did have to share space in a Nintendo Direct. Now, The Pokémon Company International has all of the space in the world to make a good impression. Fortunately for your attention span, they take less than three minutes of it.

Initiate official trailer!

Nintendo also provided a written summary here.

I want to talk about Type: Null first. Type: Null is a new Normal type Pokémon. It has very unique name. Type: Null. That's the name. The site's description explains: “This Pokémon wearing a mask has been dubbed “Null,” meaning nothing.” That doesn't quite explain where the Type-colon part comes from.

The Type: Null project was supposed to be prevented with the defeat of Team Science!

Type: Null is said to have INTENSE power, with it being made of different parts to increase its adaptability. (However, it doesn't have the Adaptability ability.) It is apparently on a secret mission to rival the power of Mythological Pokémon.

I personally think that Type: Null strongly resembles this:

Monday, September 5, 2016

KoopaTV Endorses Donald J. Trump for President of the United States of America

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Well, you saw this coming. But we'll tell you exactly why.

Are we the first videogame site to endorse Donald J. Trump for the general election? ...Will we be the only one? Well, we'll try to start a trend.

If you know anything about KoopaTV, you'll know we aren't afraid to get political here. It's a site feature, really. And, countless times over, it's ended up relating back to gaming anyway, so it's not totally off-topic.

Whether you want to avoid it or not, the results of this election will have a large impact on the gaming industry and the way you play. The presidency of the United States can affect that stuff in such a large way, mostly (see in the “Why You Shouldn't Vote For The Others” section for a directly bad example) indirectly. But those factors are important. As Bernie Sanders kept trying to do in his KoopaTV guest post, things like the economy and whether or not you're sent to a war you shouldn't be in affect how you play games.

Note: Put your cursor over the following headings to find out the url to directly link to that heading.

Now that we have that out of the way, why Donald J. Trump for president? 

Friday, September 2, 2016

Porting Wii U Games to 3DS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm not particularly enthused by it. Can you blame me?

I think the general consensus for yesterday morning's Nintendo 3DS Direct that didn't exclusively focus on the Nintendo 3DS is that it was average. I'd put it at below average, personally.

If you only have a Nintendo 3DS and do not have a Wii U, which is a circumstance that describes many millions of people (too many for my taste), then maybe you liked it. Look at all of these new games to you!

You get brand-new experiences such as Super Mario Maker for Nintendo 3DS and Poochy & Yoshi's Woolly World, going along with compelling experiences such as Super Smash Bros. For 3DS and Hyrule Warriors Legends.

Okay, let's cut the act. What the hell is with all of these downsided, downgraded ports from Wii U to the 3DS? Porting Wii games to 3DS, like Xenoblade Chronicles and Donkey Kong Country Returns, wasn't enough? Neither was porting/remaking Nintendo 64 games, such as Star Fox 64 and KoopaTV's Best 3DS Game of 2015 (though its election process was totally rigged), The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask?

Thursday, September 1, 2016

KoopaTV's September 1, 2016 Nintendo Direct Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Post-Direct spoiler: It's slightly more than just 3DS games.

Are you ready for all of the Nintendo 3DS news you can handle? Because we are about to live-react to the September 1st 2016 Nintendo Direct!

Nintendo Direct 3DS September 1 2016 exclusive
This is incredibly inconvenient for anyone who works or just started school and is on the East Coast.

Will Nintendo stay on-topic and just talk about Nintendo 3DS stuff? Should we be calling this a “Nintendo 3DS Direct” because that's what their logo styles indicate? It's time to start.

I'm Nintendork 13 13, RawkHawk2010 is RawkHawk2010, and Vortexica is that dude. Let's go!