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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

End-Of-Year Site Maintenance

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You'll see some things changing.

Don't worry... you'll still get the December wrap-up article sometime January 1. But between now and then, KoopaTV is undergoing some changes. Please be patient, and in the words of Satoru Iwata, please understand. Some of those changes include a new category of articles.

Oh, have a  Happy New Year.

Ludwig is hard at work. Go bother him some other time.

Monday, December 30, 2013

The Many Worlds of Tropical Freeze


There are some very disgruntled Metroid fans out there. After all, Retro Studios is supposedly this almighty development team that can do ANY project in any series and have it be the best game ever. Up 'til now, they did three Metroid games and then Donkey Kong Country Returns. But after DK returned, they were supposedly supposed to go back to making more Metroid. But they didn't. They're working on Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. These resentful and pathetic fans therefore are dedicated to bashing Tropical Freeze at any opportunity, and spreading misinformation about it. They want it to fail. But unlike the charge that "Republicans want ObamaCare to fail because they hate Barack Obama" when in reality the law is designed to fail, Tropical Freeze is designed to succeed and it'll certainly be amazing. So Metroid fans are retroactively out to ruin the Donkey Kong franchise's accomplishments: Suddenly David Wise's music somehow isn't amazing. Somehow the best Donkey Kong games are Donkey Kong arcade and Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat

This article is going to counter one of those attempts at misinformation: Tropical Freeze will have less content than Returns.

Friday, December 27, 2013

ADVERTISEMENT VIDEO: Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Just like Nintendo, we're late on our advertising.

Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! came out four months ago. And we're finally prepared to give an advertisement video for it. Over those months we've done a lot of things like a series of free strategy guides. With Super Punch-Out!! now on the Wii U VC, it's about time we finalize our advertising for this game and move onto our next project. Behold.

The only thing left now is a Let's Play. I'm waiting for someone to do that...

Oh, and that thumbnail is wonderfully inflammatory. Also the video features this tinyurl: That just goes to the Trayvon Tyson tab that you've seen the whole time.

Ludwig is the main programmer of Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!, which you'd know if you ever got to the credits. And you should, it's a great experience.

The Let's Play did happen after all.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Boxing Day And A Boxing Match

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Between a promise and a pun.

Some of you may recall that back in the Nintendo Direct in August, it was announced that Super Mario Bros. 3 would be coming on the Wii U Virtual Console by the end of 2013. We didn't really care much about it in our live reactions log, but it's the end of 2013 now and there is no Super Mario Bros. 3. Instead... we get a boxing game for Boxing Day: Super Punch-Out!!.

It's three against one here, apparently.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The Real Santa

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We were too distracted to make a KoopaTV Christmas card, so you get this instead.

There is some talk going around if it's right to teach kids that Santa exists. After all, many say he doesn't. Some say he should be a black man. Or even a penguin. And while we love birds at KoopaTV, we reject all of those narratives. We also reject that Santa should be a fat white man. Especially one with a mustache and overalls. After all, there's a better alternative, as I'm about to show you: King Bowser Koopa!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

What To Get For Christmas

By LUDWIG VON .KOOPA - Or any other time of the year.

Hey, I know Christmas Eve is the absolute worst time to shop. That doesn't stop Nintendo employees like Tom from advertising the Wii U over Miiverse. So here's KoopaTV's list for you. I already hinted at some of what'll be on the list here, but here's the whole thing. (It's not like you should expect hard-hitting commentary today or tomorrow anyway.)

Monday, December 23, 2013

The President Replies to KoopaTV!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Took him a long time.

Readers may recall that I vowed to send President Barack Hussein Obama a link to Jessie Go Jr. Remedial Algebra during the US federal government shutdown. I did that over two months ago. One month ago I disclosed what the contents of my message was, and that President Barack Hussein Obama never replied. I said,
"In the meantime, Barack Hussein Obama definitely never responded. So much for the most transparent presidency in the history of America."
Turns out he might've seen that and decided to reply. Take it away, President.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Fighting Fascism In Our World and The Game Industry

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Quixotic fight, but that hasn't stopped us before!

Surely you're aware by now about what happened to Phil Robertson on the show "Duck Dynasty", which KoopaTV has briefly mentioned before so it's okay to talk about it again. That's called continuity, folks. While it IS KoopaTV's place to rant about transparency and the injustices of the world, it's really not something you'd expect us to have any expertise about. 

Full disclosure: I've never watched a full episode of Duck Dynasty.

However, something we game industry journalists DO have experience in is the supposedly influential videogame discussion forum, NeoGAF. Indeed, if you've read a lot of our AIM Blast logs (that we do with every Nintendo Direct!) then you might see NeoGAF mentioned a lot. That's because we all have accounts on there — although I'm only a Junior Member and Rawk is (temporarily) banned from the site. YoshiRider123 is riding fine though. They're pretty major in the game industry. Here's a documentary explaining it.

Full disclosure: KoopaTV occasionally uses NeoGAF's propensity to click on anything to get a lot of views.

So what does NeoGAF have to do with anything? Well, they happen to have taken a strong stance of silencing anyone who stands opposed to their far-left agenda.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Tecmo Koei's History of Nintendo Spin-Offs

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's pretty dismal.

Usually my post-Nintendo Direct write-ups avoid talking about the Zelda series (same goes for any KoopaTV article in general) for whatever reason. But there are lessons here that we can apply more generally outside of this series. As over half a million people know by now, Hyrule Warriors is a thing by Tecmo Koei, the same guys behind Metroid: Other M and Pokémon Conquest. However, is that really a good track record, or are we going to call it "Zelda: Other Z" like I suggested in a Miiverse post and in yesterday's log?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This Direct does not disappoint. Not even close.

I'm Nintendork 13 13, RawkHawk is himself, and YoshiRider123 was in Starbucks or something. Who cares. What really matters was how awesome the Direct was. Watch it with us here.


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Koopa Culture Warrior

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - VGX through a culture lens.

I might very well be the only social conservative to watch through the entirety of VGX. As an old white religious straight male, the fact that VGX was made especially to appeal to a certain demographic in America is disturbing to me. So let's go over the tragedies in our culture that made this happen. All we can do about it is pray to G-d.

A recent photo of the author.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Friday, December 13, 2013

Happy Birthday Ludwig, and an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I... finally... have THAT game.

It just so happens that today, December 13, is Ludwig's birthday. Or as it happens, my birthday. I'm writing my own birthday article. Herman Cain's birthday is on the same day, and he got one of his associates to write a birthday article for him! I gotta do mine MYSELF.

Anyway, the big announcement: It took 2 months since it released, but since I'm finally done with my Dual Destinies review, I now possess Pokémon X. As I promised. You're welcome Game Freak. I hear that my Safari area type is STEEL.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

(Spoiler-Free!) Ace Attorney 5? JUDGE KOOPA IS PRESIDING. VERDICT IN!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The long-awaited Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies review.

I have been saying I'm going to write a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies review ever since the day it came out in North America, over a month ago. Since I want you to get it, I decided the best way to approach this review is spoiler-free. If you get spoiled, that reduces the chances you'll get it. So no spoilers. The review format will be a modified version of my earlier review.

Judge Koopa is here. Stand up. ...Now sit down and pay attention!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The NSA in your MMO

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Here's another acronym for you: WTF?

So apparently, the United States government just can't keep its eyes off anything. That now includes the game industry. Read this.
"The National Security Agency and the Central Intelligence Agency have secretly infiltrated the virtual worlds of online multi-player games like World of Warcraft and Second Life, where they use avatars to recruit informants and seek out potential threats, according to a new report."

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

What's OUR Goodnight Moon?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Little Johnny's First Game.

The videogame industry is now old enough that kids who grew up on classics like Donkey Kong arcade and Frogger are adults, have started families, and now have kids of their own. One of the simpler mediums are books. The children's book industry has been long-standing, but one of the titles known the world over for your child's first book to read is Goodnight Moon written by Margaret Wise Brown. If we want the videogame industry to have the same respect that the book industry does, then we must have something comparable. Goodnight Moon encourages a lifelong pursuit of reading — what will encourage a lifelong pursuit of gaming?

Monday, December 9, 2013

Want To Start Learning Programming?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hour of Code promotion.

It is important to remember our roots: Even though KoopaTV gets caught up in a lot of negative stuff, writes some heated things, calls people out for spouting lies, and expresses and defends unpopular views... well, we still have some basic obligation to promote the industry. After all, we're here to try to save the videogame industry: It's not really the warzone we make it out to be. (Oh, but we'll continue to make it out to be like that after today.)

So one of the best ways for you to get involved? Participate (for free) in the Hour of Code. There are multiple different tutorials — for BEGINNERS and people who've never done this sort of thing before — in multiple different speaking/programming languages (although if you're on KoopaTV, then you should only care about if it's in English...and it is). ...And again, it's free.

Saturday, December 7, 2013


By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - From pre-start to post-finish.

Hey guys. RawkHawk2010 decided to force KoopaTV to watch the Video Game Awards (X?). So here we are, in our AIM Blast. I'm Nintendork 13 13, YoshiRider123 is Masteryoshirider, and Rawk is himself. This is a very, very long log that spans hours, and I honestly don't recommend reading it. Although, I STRONGLY recommend that you read this instead of actually watching the VGX show, because it was terrible. But you can clearly see where we're interested and where we're not. We also react to some of the awards. Remember, we're basically only interested in Nintendo here. And Tom Clancy's The Division.

Here's our Top 3 things that we appreciated, as you'll see in the log: 
  1. Cranky Kong announced for Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. Good job Retro Studios!
  2. Billy Mitchell cameo in the Donkey Kong arcade segment.
  3. The brass instruments in the Grand Theft Auto V concert.

Friday, December 6, 2013


By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Not bad at all.

It kind of bums me out that there is no direct sequel to the topic of this article, but there are some close ones. Like this one. Anyway, a recent GameFAQs poll asked what kind of game the last game you've played was. The overwhelming majority of respectable console gamers (that's what the GameFAQs audience is made up of) have played a sequel last. Including me, playing New Super Mario Bros. U.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

16 and 32-bit: The Best Graphics

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Honestly not just nostalgia.

I fondly remember the days of sprite comics back on the Nintendo NSider Forums. But that's not the real reason why I find the SNES and GBA graphics (and some DS spritework too) to be the best graphics videogames have to offer. ...I don't really know how to explain it, but it's what's in-between the pixelated blocky crap that indies relish in these days, blocky polygonal crap that no one really likes, and the hyperrealism of today's games that keeps getting only marginally better with every new hardware generation. Here we had STYLE. Artistic FLAIR. And you didn't have to worry about clipping or anything that polygon models suffer for today. So below I'm going to provide some comparison screenshots to support my assertions: A lot of games from yesteryear look better than their predecessors and their successors.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

My Body is Ready.

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Back to Spike TV we go.

So, nothing happened today. But that's okay, because this article isn't about what happened, it's about what WILL happen. 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

My Sickness and Scars Are Cured At Last

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Apparently, it was in front of me this entire time.

Long time readers (or those who know how to navigate the site — and I want that task to be as easy as possible) should recall that I had great distress because my preferred video for Paper Mario: Sticker Star's beautiful soundtrack (the entire OST in one video) was deleted off YouTube. However, a replacement video by YouTube user Jon Q has surfaced. ...How did I miss this? I interviewed him.

Update 2/12/2017: As you can see, the video is clearly unavailable now, which makes this whole article pointless, yet hilarious in hindsight. /endupdate

Monday, December 2, 2013

How To Get a Physical, Boxed Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Appreciate Capcom and other companies.

What follows is a complex, multi-step process that I myself don't find necessary to follow because I'm content with my digital download of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies. And yeah, review coming soon. I'm done with the DLC now. As the header suggests, take a lesson in supply chain management and disintermediation. This article is for those Ace Attorney fans who refuse to get Dual Destinies because it's not a physical, boxed product. They're ignoring all the good reasons for why it isn't one, but I'm here to INFORM!

Sunday, December 1, 2013

KoopaTV — November Rumination

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I've been wanting to use that word in an article title for a while.

KoopaTV is past its 6-month existence time period now, and we're looking to finish the calendar year off strong. But before we do, let's take a look back over November.

Actually, before that, let me plug in that KoopaTV is always looking for guest writers. ...Along with permanent new additions to our staff. Guest writers can come from all walks of life, but if you'd like to be a member of the KoopaTV staff, you gotta fit some basic requirements. Including having AIM (which is free), being a big videogame fan, and being able to write well. Oh, and we'd like for you to appreciate the core essence and mission of KoopaTV, but conflict can also be appreciated.

There was an unusually diverse amount of article types in November. Of the 21 articles in the month (the least of any month so far, but hey, that's how the calendar worked out), four were "Artistic Corner"-worthy, one was the predecessor of this article, three were interviews, only one was "General", and twelve were actual Gaming Commentary — four of those were our AIM logs. Compare those article make-ups with other months and you'll get how that's diverse.

The "We have some things in planning. Not gonna disclose 'em 'cause that ruins surprises." I mentioned from last month hasn't happened yet. There's a reason for that: Some articles had to be published before those could be started. ...Those articles are published now. The "Well one of the things I'm going to do is make the site slightly easier to navigate, which will include things like links to the previous/next part in articles divided into parts or those that are obvious sequels. Those will be rolled out sometime soon." actually has happened and will continue to happen.

Time for my Top 5 recommended articles from November. As usual, I'm going to say every article is worth reading. So you can't go wrong in any way, but here are 5 of the best from a journalistic point of view. ...Or from a "this is particularly important from a KoopaTV narrative" perspective, since KoopaTV IS about a narrative. Chronological order here.

  1. Give Me Liberty, Or Give Me Swapnote
  2. Iwata's Concept of Price Value Vs. Ace Attorney 
  3. Happy Birthday, Wii U.
  4. Console Wars and Us Vs. Them
  5. (Boss 5-Final) Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! Strategy Guide!
Yeah, that's right. A strategy guide got into the Top 5. That guide happens to be a critical piece of KoopaTV's narrative.