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Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Fighting Game Released: Yang2020 Path to Presidency

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If you got $1,000 a month, you could fund pet projects like this easily.

In the tradition of KoopaTV publishing an interactive game project every year—back in the days when I could budget my time better in part because other staff members helped me more often—I'd like to use this article to introduce you to the just-published-on-Steam fighting game, Yang2020 Path to Presidency.

This isn't some random Flash game I found from nowhere looking for article material... presidential candidate Andrew Yang even tweeted about it! There's something fairly special about:
  1. A person-based fanbase that goes through the effort to produce a videogame about their person
  2. The person in question acknowledges and supports the game effort

Most other core politician supporter bases will never do something like make a videogame, either because their supporter base isn't made up of people who will do things like this (for example, politicians who mostly answer to wealthy rich donors won't see those wealthy rich donors dedicate their non-existent programming skills or time) or because that politician is, in fact, rather generic, interchangeable, and uninspiring. People tend not to devote free time towards promoting those kinds of politicians.

Monday, December 30, 2019

If You're Cheating, Does That Count As Beating?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Talking about videogames, not about spouses.

Two nights ago on the KoopaTV Requests Page (which anyone can use to get me to write about a specific topic) I was asked by ShinyGirafarig...
“Is there a wrong way to play and/or beat games? Does it matter if it is an outside cheat device, ingame cheat codes, or a feature officially added years later by the developers themselves such as the Rewind feature?” 
She was inspired by this tweet by some guy named Mike Matei, who is apparently a videogame streamer who must be enjoying a lot of publicity right now, especially since I've been aware of the tweet BEFORE the request:
Mr. Matei's site has a list of games he's beaten on stream, and some of those are rather... difficult. Clearly, he takes pride in beating games.

I think I'm pretty qualified to discuss this topic, since I basically already did in this comments-section discussion with KoopaTV regular Lheticus Videre, about the new NES and SNES games available on the Switch as of December, with special emphasis on Kirby Super Star. We happen to use the same language of “beat” that Mr. Matei did, so I'll just reproduce the conversation here, as well as the video I made for the occasion:

Friday, December 27, 2019

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 7: The Christmas Tree Forest Runner

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (Note: This has nothing to do with Christmas other than happening during the week of Christmas.)

It turns out that this week's KoopaTV Fitness Friday is very expansive. I played FIVE days worth of Ring Fit Adventure, all to finish World 6, as well as the entire World 7. (That means Week 8 will begin with World 8, resulting in parity between the week and the world numbers.)

That means this fitness log includes TWO Dragaux boss fights, plus many town requests, minigames, a miniboss, character development, and a lot more. Plus, a lot of suggestive material regarding one of the Four Masters, Allegra. Enjoy.

Thursday, December 26, 2019

No More Heroes 3's Galactic Superhero Rankings? ...Should I Trust It?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At least they talk in English.

First of all, the game is called No More Heroes 3 but the logo has it as No More Heroes III, which is inconsistent with the previous game being No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle in both logo and name. I guess after ten years, SUDA 51 to forget how to do this naming thing with his series.

If you didn't value your own life very highly, you might have seen the trailer for No More Heroes 3 at The Game Awards 2019. That's not even close to the real, full-length trailer, which Nintendo uploaded afterwards here:
 

We first saw No More Heroes 3 announced at Nintendo's E3 2019, with a similar bait-and-switch trailer. ...Though that trailer actually makes a lot more sense after watching the one embedded immediately above! It's like it's the same game with the same theme (and the same alien spaceship)! They need to involve space (at least, more than they already did in No More Heroes 2) because the story of Santa Destroy is obviously over and there's not much more else they can do without drastic escalation.

Here's my problem. A game called Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes released in January 2019. I actually bought it at launch, and it's one of the biggest Nintendo Switch mismatches since that time I (and the rest of KoopaTV) got Rocket League. Just the idea of continuing my playthrough fills me with dread, and it's given me extreme doubts about if I should continue my No More Heroes fandom. What if No More Heroes 3 is as bad as Travis Strikes Again? What if the first two No More Heroes games were actually this bad, but the Wii era's game selection obscured my tastes and I never realised it? WHAT IF I'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE?

Can I ever trust a No More Heroes game ever again?

According to the YouTube comments, the whole alien thing is explained by playing through Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes, so if I don't want to miss lore, I have to go back and play through that top-down bland mess. Maybe I should just spoil the game.


Ludwig has massive doubts over the prospect of No More Heroes 3 due to how “ugh” the previous game in the franchise was, which is why he always found it unfair that his staff provided “Nintendo wins E3. Not even Ludwig can bitch about it. He got No More Heroes.” logic during the Nintendo E3 2019 reaction log that Ludwig wasn't present for. Help console the Koopaling in the comments section.

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Battle Arena Etiquette: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They don't teach this in school.

It may be true that Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has been released for a year now, but it's Christmas! There are always new and more people buying the game.

There are three ways to get match-made online in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate—Quick Smash (Elite Smash), Battle Arenas, and Online Tourneys. The most important and enjoyable of those methods is the Battle Arena, which is the only way to play with specific people such as those on your friend list (which you can set as private rooms). You can also enter public rooms. Creators of public rooms (owners) have the powers to set the battle rules of the room, activate or deactivate voice chat through the Nintendo Switch Online app (which no one uses), and kick people.


I often make Battle Arenas and am amazed by the nonexistent or even negative level of basic etiquette displayed by players. I'll spell out the rules everyone should follow, and then get into some specific intricacies for my arenas. Following these will prevent a drop in your personal reputation and should provide a more smooth game experience:

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Aviary Attorney: Definitive Edition Flies to Switch?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - More Ace Attorney-esque games coming to 2020!

Suppose you want amazing adventure-game Ace Attorney action, but you've already bought and played through the actual Ace Attorney games. (And if you haven't, check out yesterday's article telling you that they are all available for major percents off the list price, but only for a very limited time.)

Maybe you read KoopaTV's article two weeks ago about indie game Murder by Numbers, which is not only giving Ace Attorney vibes due to its style, but also because they literally have the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney composer on the staff. But that's releasing “early 2020” and that could mean anything. You want more definite information. You want it sooner.

May I interest you in Aviary Attorney from indie developer Sketchy Logic and porter Vertical Reach? If you ignore that it's been released for four years now on Steam, I'll have you know that Aviary Attorney: Definitive Edition is releasing on the Nintendo Switch... January 30, 2020. That's not long from now! 


Ace Attorney is my favourite game franchise. I also really like birds, as KoopaTV established early in our existence with this bird-themed Menorah. (Happy Chanukkah, I guess.) Naturally, Aviary Attorney interests me, but I have not played it before.

Before I give a full-throated endorsement of Aviary Attorney, because the game HAS been out, there's a number of turn-off impressions people have already made about the game:
  1. That colour scheme isn't a trailer thing. The whole game is like that, though the Definitive Edition has “re-scanned, re-edited, and re-drawn art”. You might think it's stylistic and wonderful, but thinking about a multi-hour experience of looking at that seems...straining
  2. The game's investigative activities are on a timer, determined by how many/which actions you take, which differs from Ace Attorney where you can explore indefinitely, for every last piece of dialogue. Being limited in my exploration like that isn't something that I like
  3. It's $15 on Steam and will be $20 on the Switch, yet the game is quite short
  4. While this won't apply to the Switch version, the game did release as an unfinished product, which upset buyers at the time
  5. Paris sucks, and I wonder if one of the animals here was the ape that Parisian lawyer Benjamin Hunter trained

People are quick to say that Aviary Attorney is filled with charm, however, and that may be all you need to have a good experience. We'll see. Despite the above, it has overwhelmingly positive reception in user reviews.

Aviary Attorney Definitive Edition Nintendo Switch Falcon rein in the horse jokes
I'm obligated to maintain the horse jokes because I'm trying to finally get Pocket Card Jockey a Wikipedia page.
More on that another time.


For years, Ludwig thought this was another name for the Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law game released back on the Wii, which he also never played. Clearly, this is actually something very different. He is interested in your experience and recommendations, and that's why the article headline has a question mark at the end.

Monday, December 23, 2019

CAPCOM Winter Sale 2019! Up to 75% Off?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - As good an opportunity as any.

You may remember as recently as less than a month ago I was making fun of CAPCOM for their Thanksgiving/Black Friday/Cyber Monday 2019 sales. They actually redeemed themselves after the article was published... it just took several days and they weren't very transparent about it.

CAPCOM is back at it again with holiday/winter sales for 2019. Beginning TODAY and ending December 30 at 2:59 AM Eastern, you can get a variety of CAPCOM games at discounted prices on the Nintendo eShop. (As well as other systems, though those have different dates associated so consult those on your own.) This includes all the HIGHLY-RECOMMENDED Ace Attorney games at their usual discounts that you've last seen them at, including...
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy (Switch): $19.99 (33.33% off)
  • Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (3DS): $9.99 (50% off) 
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney–Spirit of Justice (3DS): $11.99 (60% off) 
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney–Dual Destinies (3DS): $8.99 (70% off)
  • Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy (3DS): $11.99 (60% off) 

Every other CAPCOM game on the Switch or 3DS you can think of is probably on sale, too, even the recently-released (from the past two–three months) Devil May Cry 2 ($14.99, or 25% off), and Resident Evil 5 and Resident Evil 6 ($19.99 each, or 33.33% off). The 75% off includes games like Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D, Super Street Fighter IV 3D Edition, and Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara on the Wii U.

By the way, since I haven't mentioned it yet: the Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection got delayed from January 21 to February 25, 2020. You can still pre-order it to get the Reploid Remix bonus, or you can likely wait a long time after release for it to be offered for free if Mega Man 11 is any indication. (Mega Man 11 is 50% off right now.) There's minigames and art added to the base collection (no pre-order required). I just pre-ordered (pre-purchased) it through the Nintendo eShop. I wanted to pre-order it through CAPCOM's store (physical shipment) but they rejected my debit card and claimed there's an error. The Nintendo eShop accepts my debit card all too well, so there you go.


Ludwig actually bought Mega Man 11 and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy during the Thanksgiving sale, making it the third time he's purchased the first three games in the Ace Attorney series. You should help inflate the Ace Attorney franchises selling numbers, too, and now until the end of the 29th is the best time to do that! You'll have fun playing the games, too.


We should note that Ōkami HD is at more of a discount now than it was for CAPCOM Winter Sale 2018. Now at 40% off from 25% off.
Missed this sale? Try three weeks later for another chance.
To make it clear, Ludwig got Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection just for the music. Here's what he thinks about it.

Friday, December 20, 2019

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 6: Darkly Influenced Four Masters

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - HAIL LORD DRAGAUX.

We're now at the sixth KoopaTV Fitness Friday, featuring the wonderful Nintendo Switch game Ring Fit Adventure. Quite frankly, I'm at a point with the game where I'm actually really looking forward to what happens. There's definitely a story cooking up here, and it's motivating me to want to play more.

Week 6 is a very direct sequel to the fitness log for week 5, since week 5 ended with us encountering three of the four masters in World 5: Dragaux vs. The Four Masters. That leaves the beginning of this log to have us see the fourth master, Guru Andma, and fight Dragaux. Then we'll start playing World 6, and we'll see what meeting the Four Masters brought did for us.

Over my birthday (which was published about on the day of week 5's fitness log), I got a real professional super electric toothbrush, the Oral-B Pro 5000. I think that's somewhat relevant for a fitness log because Ring Fit Adventure often provides diet-related tips. So far, there's nothing yet on dental hygiene, but maybe there will be. Dentists certainly claim there will. (I have a dentist appointment coming up in a month. You may remember I wrote an article five months ago with the title, “Remind Me To Bring A Plushie To My Next Dentist Appointment”.)

Thursday, December 19, 2019

December 19 2019 Democrat Presidential Primary Debate 6 ANALYSIS!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's not my preferred narrow field...

With KoopaTV's favourite Democrat candidate for president, Tulsi Gabbard, pulling a Ludwig and boycotting an event that they weren't even invited to, that leaves precious few reasons for why I'm still covering the Democrat presidential primary debates of 2019–2020. I've come up with four reasons:
  1. Watching Joe Biden make incoherent statements is a guilty pleasure
  2. I need to dedicate regularly-occurring article space to attacking the worst candidate of this election cycle, Fraudulent Elizabeth Warren, for the safety of the universe (including Koopa Kingdom)
  3. This Twitter conversation with an Andrew Yang supporter where he believes Andrew Yang will get 10 minutes or more of attention in this debate
  4. It'll provide a two-week streak of KoopaTV covering Thursday-night shit-shows, last week being The Game Awards 2019

The debate is hosted by PBS and POLITICO, and somewhere in that combination, they appear to be setting this up to be rigged:

PBS Politico sixth Democrat presidential primary debate qualified candidates Joe Biden
In this debate are Joe Biden, Pete Buttigieg, Amy Klobuchar, Bernie Sanders, Tom Steyer, Elizabeth Warren, and Andrew Yang.
At the time of this screenshot (this morning), PBS REALLY didn't want you to know that Joe Biden is 77 years old.

I'll say this: The good thing about PBS are the lack of corporate commercials, which means they're not biased by sponsors, and Bernie Sanders/Fraudulent Elizabeth Warren can not say that the pharmaceutical companies are advertising during the debate as an applause line.

ANDREW YANG GOT MORE THAN TEN MINUTES! WOOHOO!
(Well, he was still dead last, and still got little over half the talking time of the top folks, but...)

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

The Xbox Series X and Naming

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How is one supposed to judge hardware?

For all of the correct statements one can make about The Game Awards being an awful ceremony that damages civilisation, there was one newsworthy event from The Game Awards 2019 (though it later had to be walked back): Microsoft's head of gaming, Phil Spencer, appeared and revealed the Xbox Series X. In our reaction log, our only things we had to say about it were, “That's a bad name” and asking, “Is ‘Xbox Series X’ supposed to be a Mega Man X reference?” Here's the useless trailer:


Previously known as Project Scarlett (and shown with similarly-scant detail at Microsoft's E3 2019), Xbox Series X isn't the name of the new console. It's the Xbox. Just that. Series X describes the build of it. There may be more of those builds with different particulars, but otherwise, Microsoft is dropping everything else and just going with Xbox. The console is a little tower (which people are unfairly bullying like they did to the GameCube) you just turn off and on and put disks into.

I'm not quite sure how this plays into Microsoft also saying a few years ago that the concept of game console generations will now be done away with.

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Eiscue, Galarian DARMANITAN, More Pokémon...More Galar Gym Leaders!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Otherwise known as “which version do you pick?” news update.

Without much fanfare outside of social media posts—as in, there's no video summarising these updates (though I suppose they're less updates and more for posterity)—The Pokémon Company International released some more information on Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield... last week? I think it was on Wednesday the 11th. The official Pokémon Twitter still has pinned the end-of-November information about Gigantamax Snorlax and the starter evolutions that I covered here.

To summarise the update, there's these Pokémon and gym leaders:
  • Centiskorch
    • Gigantamax Centiskorch
  • Sandaconda
    • Gigantamax Sandaconda
  • Stonjourner (Sword)
  • Eiscue (Shield)
  • Galarian Darumaka (Sword)
  • Galarian DARMANITAN (Sword)
  • Galarian Corsola (Shield)
  • Cursola (Shield)
  • Fire Gym Leader Kabu
  • Fairy Gym Leader Opal
  • Rock Gym Leader Gordie (Sword)
  • Ice Gym Leader Melony (Shield)
  • Dark Gym Leader Piers
  • Dragon Gym Leader Raihan 

That's a lot, so I'll give some quick thoughts:

Monday, December 16, 2019

Hey, Sakurai, I'm From the '80s. Bring Me Back!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Jerks. I will not be invalidated!

Starting on Friday (December 13) and extending throughout the weekend was a “Bringing Back the '80s” event on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Click that link for the event details, but here's the description:
“This tourney focuses purely on fighters and stages created in the '80s! Pull off some rad veteran moves to come out on top!

The further you advance, the better the spirit you'll win!” 

Well, hey! I'm a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I made my videogame debut in the 1980s with the release of Super Mario Bros. 3!

Alright, 1988 in Japan. 1990 in North America. 1991 in Europe. I'm not really sure what the hold-up was. But I ought to be eligible for this tournament, especially since Japan is having the same event. But... I'm not in the list of eligible fighters either way.

Well, it's a stupid tournament regardless. You probably suffered with Time battle with items on some of the worst stages Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has to offer, such as 75m, Flat Zone X, and PAC-LAND. I boycotted the tournament. All of these event tournaments are not even fun to play in or write about. Why am I writing about this one?

Friday, December 13, 2019

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 5: Three of the Four Masters

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's my birthday. Oops.

I am on record stating that the three worst days of the year are Daylight Saving Time, Tax Day, and my birthday. Two of those are government-created (and should be abolished), but I suppose even in an anarchy I'll still have a birthday.

Let's just treat it like normal and proceed with KoopaTV's Fitness Fridays series. We're starting fresh with World 5 on Week 5. Little did I know that it'd be the most intense week of them all so far, featuring physically demanding exercises, along with introducing a set of important-looking NPCs. You'll also read some problems I have with the game so far. Let's get to it!

I'm starting on Sunday, immediately leveling up to Level 29 and unlocking the Overhead Arm Twist (red) Fit Skill, with a fearsome power of 90! Guess I'll never try the Fan Pose...

Anyway, World 5 is called “Dragaux Vs. the Four Masters” so this seems intense. I set my difficulty to 24... but the first thing is actually the third town. All the townspeople are talking about the Four Masters, who are...

Thursday, December 12, 2019

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to The Game Awards 2019

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Do I really have to entertain this idiotic event?

Have you ever glanced at any of KoopaTV's coverage of The Game Awards in any other year? Or anything involving Geoff Keighley? (I remember you, VGX. Wish I didn't.) This show is incredibly disdainful. It's packed with stuff I don't care about, and I suspect you don't care about it either.

A whole lot of people will only be watching it because they've convinced themselves a Super Smash Bros. Ultimate character will be announced. It's probably better to play the game and have fun tonight, and then watch the trailer posted on Nintendo's channel tomorrow. That is, if anything even appears. You speculators are all pretty much holding yourselves hostage to your own leaker world.

One credit to The Game Awards: They listened to my article about how the year should end before having a game of the year awards ceremony, but rather than move it to January, Geoff Keighley arbitrarily decided that the new year begins in December. (Or November?) Thus, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a 2019 game to him. I guess it's creative?

I couldn't command my staffers to actually attend this thing because I don't want to even be here. It's not for their own good. It's not for my own good. It's not for your own good. The Game Awards is the equivalent of the whole videogame industry coming together to the retarded kid's birthday party. No one actually likes him or is friends with him. They just all feel bad for him.

Well, I guess Hideo Kojima likes him. That relationship has certainly been a contributing factor to Kojima's own falling reputation, I'd think.

Anyway, what follows is a half-attentive reaction log. Everything before this point was written before the event started. Let's see if it turns out as bad as I'm making it!


The Game Awards 2019 viewer discretion is advised content warning
Viewer discretion is advised.
(Don't watch it.)

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

More SNES Games (Kirby Super Star, Star Fox 2) and NES Games to Nintendo Switch Online

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This $20 thing is worth it, man.

Remember when Nintendo announced that Nintendo Switch Online subscriptions would include Super Nintendo Entertainment System games, but they didn't make a big deal of the announcement because of the historical backlash they have on Nintendo Switch Online topics?

After saying they'll add new games to the NES and SNES emulator on a sporadic basis and not adding anything, they're coming with “December Game Updates” with this wonderful line-up of free (if you're already a subscriber) games:
  • Star Fox 2
  • Super Punch-Out!!
  • Kirby Super Star
  • Breath of Fire II
  • Crystalis
  • Journey to Silius
Check out the trailer here, and check out how the like:dislike ratio is actually very positive, as opposed to negative like almost every other video about Nintendo Switch Online:


I don't feel like going through all of these games and sharing my opinions on them. Rather, I would just like to point out some important overall things. (And this is commentary you won't find elsewhere.)

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Murder by Numbers: The Nintendo Indie World Standout

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I learned a new word today! And (re-)learned about a new game!

Today Nintendo did one of their rebranded Nindies Directs, called Indie World. You can watch it for twenty minutes here or skim the press release in two minutes here.

A lot of what's in there really should make you doubt that indie developers are supposed to be a bastion of innovation, with games like Gleamlight that's very similar to Hollow Knight (brought to you by some of the same developers of Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, which is similar to Castlevania: Symphony of the Night). 

Then there's the subject of tonight's article, Murder by Numbers. This is developed by Mediatonic, with characters designed by manga artist Hato Moa (known for the game Hatoful Boyfriend) and with music composed by Masakazu Sugimori (of the first Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and Ghost Trick—which are KoopaTV darlings). And the trailer and official game page makes this quite known as a selling point:

Monday, December 9, 2019

Super Smash Bros. Speculation is Bad Content

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The chattering gossip class.

Over the weekend, people (and Nintendo) celebrated the one-year anniversary of the release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Release days are important. Anniversaries aren't. Case-in-point: The predominant discussion within the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fanbase has continued to be speculation about the fifth and final Fighters Pass character, as opposed to a year ago when it was speculation about the second Fighters Pass character and what kind of character Joker would turn out to be. (And suddenly everyone with a Nintendo console was acting like a big Persona 5 fan?) Not much has changed!

There's four types of community-based Super Smash Bros. content, ranging from most valuable to least (negative) valuable:
  1. Discussing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in its current state—including useful things like gameplay analysis and aids to get better at the game
  2. Using Super Smash Bros. Ultimate itself as an artistic platform—game-generated screenshots, videos, Spirit Battle concepts, etc.
  3. Discussion about the community itself—can often result in discussions around identity politics or unsubstantiated allegations, but can also have positive outcomes like better tournament venues and prize pools
  4. Speculation about future downloadable content based on theories or “leaks”
I gotta say, the Super Smash Bros. Melee community, since 2001, has always been about the present moment. They know there isn't downloadable content for a GameCube game. They're all about discussing the game.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate doesn't share that. Much of its community is consumed with rampant and stupid speculation, idolising the absolute scum of the universe that deserve to be banished from society, the leaker class.

Friday, December 6, 2019

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 4: Squats In Real Life

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At least we watch Dragaux at dance.

We are at the end of week 4 of my fitness log series. That's a whole month of training! However, I didn't play Ring Fit Adventure for most of the days of this week. I have a very good explanation, though!

You see, we had Mr. Blizzard come visit us in Koopa Kingdom. Specifically, Mizzter Blizzard, who you may remember from Paper Mario: Sticker Star. I called him a loser some years ago when I advocated for sandcastles over snowmen. I think he wanted some kind of help from Lord Bowser with having a better body, but Koopa Kingdom rejected the snowman. Mizzter Blizzard reacted by covering Koopa Kingdom—and Lord Bowser's castle—in snow, which isn't great. Master Bowser blamed me for Mizzter Blizzard being upset, and ordered me to spend hours between Sunday and Tuesday clearing out all the snow, with just some shovels in claw as opposed to a mechanised solution.

It turns out that all the squats I've been doing in Ring Fit Adventure is exactly what one needs to do in order to correctly shovel snow—that is, to lift the snow with one's legs, as opposed to destroy their back. I actually came out of this in much less pain and much better shape than previous experiences with snow, and I attribute that to Ring Fit Adventure. Perhaps it also helps I had Ring Fit Adventure music in my head while shovelling.

So that's why I only played Ring Fit Adventure twice this week. Let's talk about those times:

Thursday, December 5, 2019

A Mario Allegedly Conspired Against George Zimmerman

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is hilarious stuff.

I would like this article to serve as a contrast to yesterday's very pro-plaintiff article. I'm definitely not for every time someone sues another person for the person initiating the lawsuit. KoopaTV is filled with articles about baseless lawsuits against videogame companies for matters like getting them addicted, and how we're on the side of the company. (Most recently with some Canadian family suing about Fortnite being addictive.)

You might've heard that George Zimmerman—which KoopaTV has an embarrassing history with because mid-2014 and early 2015 had nothing better happening—is suing a lot of people for a lot of money, including the family of Trayvon Martin, who he killed in self-defence back in 2013. (And was found not guilty in his Ace Attorney-esque trial, a verdict we still support.) He's also suing the prosecutors, the state of Florida, and others.

You can read the court filing for yourself here. It features a fascinating theory from George Zimmerman, being that the prosecution from his 2013 case conspired against him and put Rachel Jeantel, described in the filing as an unemployed Florida citizen (who back in 2013, was an 18-year old ninth grader reading at a fourth grade level and was the number one tardy student in school) as “an imposter and fake witness” in place of her half-sister, Brittany Diamond Eugene, who was Trayvon Martin's true girlfriend and phone witness to his death.

The conspirators behind this swap are described as Trayvon's best friends (described as possibly dangerous and gangster-y), named Mario and Bramble.

Mario? Here? Wouldn't surprise me.

The reason the lawsuit is happening now is because the prosecutor in the 2013 case, Benjamin Crump and HarperCollins published a new book in October with the inflammatory title, Open Season: Legalized Genocide of Colored People, and it contains false information about George Zimmerman. Thus, he felt compelled to sue for defamation... for $100,000,000.00, as well as attorney's fees.

The claims in this lawsuit about the imposter witness are largely due to the new investigation done by filmmaker Joel Gilbert, whom Wikipedia notes as a right-wing conspiracy theorist. They claims are not proven (or disproven), but hey, that'll be what court is for.

Assuming this case isn't totally thrown out by the judge like the last time Zimmerman tried to sue for defamation, that time being NBC. Quite frankly, I don't inherently believe George Zimmerman's claim here. I mean, if it's true, then he should be entitled to damages. It's not like he has any other method of having a future, since the case also notes he's unemployable, under constant death threats, and can't maintain a date. (That date was also a Mario fan... he keeps coming up, doesn't he?)


If you look at KoopaTV's history of ZimmermanTV articles, you should note that this site's opinion of George Zimmerman slowly goes from “he's a hero” to “this guy is a dangerous lunatic in an endless loop of doing stupid things for attention.” This latest theory sounds like a Phoenix Wright bluff, so that might mean it's actually true! Though it's never made clear what anyone had to gain from having the half-sister be an imposter.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

The Pokémon Company International's Trade Secrets vs. THE LEAKERS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A valiant and necessary crusade to be settled with the courts’ help. (No spoilers in this article text, by the way.)

Almost two weeks ago on November 22, 2019, The Pokémon Company International (TPCi—they're in charge of managing the Pokémon series intellectual property), through their legal representatives at Perkins Coie LLP, submitted court documentation to the United States District Court for the Western District of Washington versus John/Jane Does 1–3. (They're probably all Johns, calling it now.) Why? Because they're LEAKERS and helped sabotage the release of Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield by gaining access to the Pokémon Sword and Shield: The Official Galar Region Strategy Guide (to be released November 22) and dumping many pictures of it to the Internet on November 1, which bad websites took and spread in front of your face, obliterating TPCi's carefully-crafted marketing plan for the game releasing November 15. Perhaps that's why they revealed the Galarian starter evolutions weeks after the game's release.

I made it clear that I don't like reading spoilers about Pokémon Sword or Pokémon Shield in my article where I wrote about how I'm not getting the game. In their documentation, which is itself filled with spoilers in the form of almost 80 pages of screenshot exhibits at the end, TPCi made clear that they carefully timed their announcements to maximise fan excitement and anticipation over the games (as opposed to the uncareful timing back in Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon), and it's quite damaging for the leakers to break that.

More to the point, the co-defendants, for now only known as WolfenX#5356 (no longer a valid Discord name), the mysterious and unknown WolfenX#5356's source, and Uxinator#3307; knew exactly what they were doing. (There is also another guy named DimensioNz#3307, but TPCi isn't suing him...yet.) Through some combination of those people, they willfully violated non-disclosure agreements and TPCi's security mechanisms (detailed in the court documents, including background checks, tarps, key cards, passwords, and internal digital rights management. They pretty much kept the strategy guides and game files in a Team Rocket Headquarters-style puzzle contraption) to keep the game's unrevealed Pokémon and other details as a secret. Obviously, someone or some people broke civil laws along the way, and TPCi is well within their right to go after them.

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Not Content With Mario Kart, Link Tries Super Mario Maker 2

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Arguably as newsworthy headline: Super Mario Maker 2 is getting an update.

Remember that Super Mario Maker 2 is out? For less than six months? Has everyone forgotten about it? Well, Super Mario Maker 2 has basically four million copies. As of writing this, it's the 34th most-viewed game being streamed right now on Twitch, ahead of things like ASMR. It's not irrelevant, then.

Still, Nintendo hasn't been giving it the love that Super Mario Maker on the Wii U got, in terms of update quantity at this point in the game's lifespan.

Super Mario Maker 2 has gotten one update so far, which enabled online with-friends multiplayer. When the game launched without it, that was a huge complaint.

Nintendo has now announced a second update to be released this week, which primarily is the addition of a new power-up course part: the Master Sword, which allegedly transforms Mario into Link from The Legend of Zelda series with a sword, shield, Pegasus Boots, down-thrust, arrows, and bombs. Take a look:



Monday, December 2, 2019

KoopaTV's November 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yes, vember!

Cheers, and welcome to the November 2019 KoopaTV newsletter! Want to know what this strange but lovable KoopaTV site is all about? Wondering what happened in the past month, that of November? Or maybe you enjoy reflecting on the immediate past—and it feels immediate, since it went by fast.

Sure, this newsletter can assist in that. Let us get started. There's no breaking news, by the way. Sometimes that's in these newsletters. Not this time. You'll still like the base content, though.


The Top Five Recommended KoopaTV Experiences of November 2019


Personally, I think I'm a genius writer. What do you think when you see these five chronologically-ordered articles? (And if they're not listed but were published in November 2019, then they're still worth reading.)
  1. Buying Pokémon Sword/Shield? Why I Won't—You know, I wrote this article so people wouldn't ask me if I've gotten Pokémon Shield yet. I obviously have the money and the means. I just don't want to, and this article explains why.
  2. Catastrophic: YouTube Culls Comments For COPPA—A lot of people are concerned about what the FTC vs. Google settlement means for YouTube as it results to the application of COPPA law. KoopaTV wades through the fear and misinformation and gives you the information you need, as well as KoopaTV's own policy.
  3. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Version 6.0.0 (November) Fighter Usage Stats!—I really like the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate version 6.0.0 update, since it buffed Jigglypuff. But how did the buffs and Terry's addition affect how much each character is used in online play? I compiled the stats!
  4. Why Pokémon National Dexers Failed But Sonic's Movie Got Redesigned—A reader asked why the whole Dexit movement was a failure, but the backlash for Sonic the Hedgehog's movie got a successful redesign. I dig into the philosophies behind fan-driven change at big companies.
  5. Eric Swalwell's #Fartgate Spirit Battle—I believe this article is the only fart joke I've written in KoopaTV's six and a half year history, and it's very well done, too! Makes fun of a guy who deserves scorn, but in KoopaTV's truth & levity style.
There's articles not on here that I'm referencing a lot already, as well as the new Ring Fit Adventure fitness log series that's published weekly. Those are great and in a style not seen on KoopaTV before.