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Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Galarian Starter Evolutions Officially Revealed

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nice to know who they are, eventually. My thoughts.

Let's suspend our knowledge for a bit that we all know Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield are already released. We can even forget that I said I'm not getting it.

The Pokémon Company International just revealed, as of this morning, the first and second stage evolutions to the Galarian starter Pokémon we first met back when Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield were introduced back in February. You remember Grookey, Scorbunny, and Sobble, right?

Meet their evolutions (and some less interesting details about Snorlax forgetting to play Ring Fit Adventure): 

I'll go through each evolutionary line separately and give my thoughts, but I'm telling you upfront: I'm still a Grookey supporter, and I didn't need to see these to have that affect my opinion.

Grookey → Thwackey → Rillaboom

Pokémon Sword Shield Grookey Thwackey Rillaboom grass starter evolutions family Galar

The Grookey line are a pure Grass evolutionary family. Grookey is a mischievous Chimp who likes to bang a stick. Thwackey is the Beat Pokémon, who now has two sticks and likes to practice drumming with them. (Thwackey's favourite Mario Party minigame, like mine, is The Beat Goes On.) Rillaboom is the Drummer Pokémon, having learned all about proper rhythm and drumming as a Thwackey, which means that it carries around a tree stump drum with it (not shown in the artwork). Rillaboom is a very chill drummer, and its favourite game is Donkey Konga. Not my favourite, but I respect that.

Rillaboom isn't the kind of Pokémon who is into Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat. Unlike that game which ditched all familiar characters except Donkey Kong and the banana, Rillaboom values its family, community, and harmony.

Scorbunny → Raboot → Cinderace

Pokémon Sword Shield Scorbunny Raboot Cinderace fire starter evolutions family Galar

You want to know who is playing Ring Fit Adventure and on maximum difficulty? The pure Fire type Scorbunny evolutionary family. Look how thin and active-looking they all are! Scorbunny is the energetic Rabbit Pokémon, powered up by its own fire. Raboot is also the Rabbit Pokémon, with exactly twice the height and weight of Scorbunny. Raboot has a lot more fur, and prefers to kick things and not use its hands. That preference is a bit of an inconvenience when using the hand-operated Ring-Con, but boy does that Leg Strap see a lot of wear and tear. (Fortunately, the extra fur helps keep the Leg Strap from falling down.) Raboot evolves into Cinderace, the Striker Pokémon, which is much taller and heavier. Cinderace is obviously inspired by the soccer motif of Galar, and loves kicking flaming balls at things.

Cinderace notably confirms the trend that all Fire type starter Pokémon must have a bi-pedal final evolution. This is made all the more obvious from the family's focus on feet. Quite frankly, the artwork people are making of this is likely terrifying. I'm not going to dare look.

Sobble → Drizzile → Inteleon

Pokémon Sword Shield Sobble Drizzile Inteleon water starter evolutions family Galar

Sobble is the pure Water (they're all going to be pure Water) timid Water Lizard Pokémon, best known for crying and hiding from others in the water. There's a popular idea out there that Sobble is a bullied little loser that must be “protected” from harm and people who like to take advantage of the weak. However, all that coddling ever did was result in Sobble evolving into the Gladion-esque Drizzile, also a Water Lizard. Drizzile is described as “usually lethargic” but with a giant gross tongue. Drizzile is a guerilla war-faring troll, with no intention of fighting face-to-face. (And that's a shame for its opponent, because it has a very punchable face. Or kickable, if you're like Raboot.) From that, it evolves into Inteleon, the super-tall and extremely-thin Secret Agent Pokémon, described as wielding hidden knives, lenses, and water-finger-guns. Inteleon is supposed to be in the intelligence industry, and coincidentally is said to be very smart.

Basically, Inteleon went from being a bullied little twerp, to being an unhygienic emo in their parents’ basement that probably dabbled in hacking, to being recruited by a spy agency. That is a lot more complicated than being into playing the drums or liking to play soccer. More complicated isn't really a good thing in this case, though. Anyone who liked Grookey or Scorbunny should like their evolutions. Sobble? ...I think that's a lot more controversial.

Ludwig isn't sure why he is looking down on Inteleon and Cinderace for their body types, because he's a fat-shamer and likes thin figures. Something is just that uncomfortable about their aspect ratios, however. Which starter did you like when you only knew about their base stages, and do their evolutions change your opinion on them? Ludwig would like to note that this isn't what he had intended to write about today, since he had no way to know TPCi would do this news release after the game is out.

There's more post-release news releases, such as this about version exclusive Pokémon/gym leaders.


  1. "Look how thin and active-looking they all are!"

    I am thin myself and let me tell you I am fatigued almost all the time. I get full too fast and can't seem to hold on to the food I even eat and it barely seems to convert to energy that will make me not as fatigued. I am constantly irritable due to being hungry all the time which makes me more of a Morpeko then a Scorbunny evolution line.

    It's also not easy to want to eat every time I am hungry when I am out in the outside world with people who want to lose weight and they think I can literally eat whatever and whenever I want and decide to insult me to make them feel good about themselves. I am not comfortable with being the object of envy.

    1. Cinderace and Inteleon happen to be thin and active-looking. You happen to be thin and fatigued. Folks are different.

      At least Morpeko is a true Dark type when hungry. Girafarig is just faking it.

    2. ...Would you like to express your shock more specifically?


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