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Friday, February 27, 2015

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Indefinite gamification of a videogame website. Featuring prizes!

A videogame website should be fun to play, right? ...Wait, fun to play? Yeah, instead of being a "reader" or "viewer" of KoopaTV, we will now deem you a "player".

Starting March 1, 2015 and ending June 30, 2023, we will be activating a (the) KoopaTV Loyalty program!

What is it?

The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program was a competition between you, the players. We wanted to drive up player participation at KoopaTV, since that made our work more rewarding to us, and it's the fairest way to give out free stuff.

Free Club Nintendo codes prizes catalog KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards
FREE STUFF. BY PARTICIPATING. See below for how to do that.

How to win?

It was a point-based competition with you (anyone not named "Anonymous") having the opportunity to earn points via the following methods, published for posterity:

Method Point Gain Frequency Limits Notes
Comment! +1 for commenting, +1 for giving the Truth, +1 for having Levity, +3 for being positively featured in a monthly newsletter. Point gains once per calendar day You can comment multiple times a day, and if one comment doesn't have Truth/Levity but a subsequent comment does, you'll be awarded the Truth/Levity point for the day.
Correct us! Up to +5, depending on how egregious the error None, but there's a statute of limitations of 365 days on things that can be corrected Satire, obvious joke articles, reaction logs, guest articles (not “us”) and comments, are not eligible to be corrected. Errors can include simple grammar to factual inaccuracies, to passing unproven assertions as fact.
Request! (Click here for the Requests page.) Up to +3 for a good request. Once per calendar week If your request isn't deemed worthy of earning three points, you can submit another to reach that three.
Submit Guest Content! (Click here for the Guest Posts process.) A minimum of +5, and then up to +10 additional points depending on the quality. None Points earned when submitted. KoopaTV's staff will grade your article out of 10. Guest Art may or may not be subject to +5 minimum point gain depending on the medium.
Refer people! +6 None If a new person (never commented on KoopaTV before) namedrops you in a comment.
Improve KoopaTV's TV Tropes presence! +2 Once per calendar day You need to tell us if you make an edit. You can edit the Website/KoopaTV page, the VideoGames/KoopaTV page, or edit another page on TV Tropes to name-drop KoopaTV.
Fill out KoopaTV's Feedback Forms and Quizzes! (Click here for the page with those.) +4 for completing the current Feedback Form, up to +6 for the current Quiz depending on score. Once per Round The current quiz and feedback form are clearly marked on the KoopaTV page for them. Filling out older ones is just for amusement. If you fill it out multiple times, only the first will be counted, with the name you provide.
Contribute an outlet to the List of Media Outlets that Spread Nintendo Switch hardware revision at E3 2021 FAKE NEWS. +1 per valid media outlet or prominent individual. None In that article's comments section, provide a link to the offending fake news report (must be presented as news by the outlet) that a Nintendo Switch hardware revision would be announced at or before E3 2021.
Subscribe to KoopaTV by e-mail, and forward an e-mail to subscription (at) koopatv (dot) org to prove it +4 at the start of the next calendar month. Once per calendar month (twice per round) Click that link and then verify your e-mail. Once you receive KoopaTV articles, forward one to subscription (at) koopatv (dot) org with your name. You only need to forward one per calendar month, and points are given at the start of the next calendar month.
Film and upload a Let's Play of Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! Up to +10 depending on the quality. Once per user's lifetime Leave a link to the KoopaTV page for the game in the description(s).
Film and upload a Let's Play of Defend Anita Sarkeesian Up to +15 depending on the quality. Once per user's lifetime Leave a link to the KoopaTV page for the game in the description(s).
Film and upload a Let's Play of Capture the Confederate Flag Up to +20 depending on the quality. Once per user's lifetime Leave a link to the KoopaTV page for the game in the description(s).
Write a review of Capture the Confederate Flag and submit it as a guest post to KoopaTV. Up to +10 depending on the quality, on top of guest submission points. Once per user's lifetime Be honest.
Film and upload a Let's Play of The Wonderful 1237 Up to +25 depending on the quality. Once per user's lifetime Leave a link to the KoopaTV page for the game in the description(s).
Write a review of The Wonderful 1237 and submit it as a guest post to KoopaTV. Up to +10 depending on the quality, on top of guest submission points. Once per user's lifetime Be honest.
Film and upload a Let's Play of Soviet Missile Run Up to +25 depending on the quality. Once per user's lifetime Leave a link to the KoopaTV page for the game in the description(s).
Write a review of Soviet Missile Run and submit it as a guest post to KoopaTV. Up to +10 depending on the quality, on top of guest submission points. Once per user's lifetime Be honest.

Tracking Progress!

The leaderboard is here. It's a spreadsheet. You can't be on the spreadsheet if you're anonymous.

Previous winners are viewable from the spreadsheet based on the round number. The spreadsheet is updated every time there is a point event, with the date provided being the date the point event took place.

This leaderboard ensures maximum transparency into the process.

Prizes and Time Periods!

The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program has concluded. Thank you for participating. Please see the leaderboard spreadsheet linked above for a historical record of the prizes and who won them.


For some boring stuff: Round 50 lasted from 00:00 (ET) on May 1, 2023 and ended 23:59 (ET) on June 30, 2023. That means no retroactivity. You must be 13 years old or older to participate. Cheating gets you disqualified in this round and all future rounds.  Ways of cheating include faking referrals (so I'd avoid referring your "sister") and plagiarising/stealing guest submissions. If we feel you're cheating or you're not doing quality things, we have the right to adjust the points/assign penalties as we see fit. Whether something is truthful or has levity is totally up to KoopaTV's staff. Former and present KoopaTV staff members may not participate. If you become a KoopaTV staff member during a round, you will be disqualified. You will be contacted if you're a winner by whatever contact means you leave us. All prize codes are applicable to North America only unless stated otherwise. Please only answer for yourself in quizzes/forms. Misrepresenting your identity will result in you being permanently banned from the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program.

Codes are on a higher-place-first-served basis.

People residing in Quebec are not eligible for entry.

Assume all prizes are denominated in United States Dollars (USD). KoopaTV isn't responsible for providing a prize in your local currency and USD-denominated prizes are provided as-is.

For Round 11, 17, 23, 29, 35, 41, and 47's random drawing:

The random drawing is done by adding up everyone's point values and using that as the denominator. In the order that each participant's sums are presented on the leaderboard spreadsheet, each participant will an equivalent number of chances to win as they have points. So if Participant A has 5 points, B has 3 points, and C has 7 points, the RNG will pick from 1 to 15, and A wins if it falls from 1 to 5, B from 6 to 8, and C from 9 to 15. If KoopaTV can't come in contact with the winner of the random drawing within a week, we'll re-draw and try again.

For Round 22, 28, 34, 40, and 46's's Nintendo Switch Online Family Group membership:

The Nintendo Switch Online Family Group membership lasts from November 1, 2018/2019/2020/2021/2022 to October 31, 2019/2020/2021/2022/2023.

Have fun.


  • Do I need to create an account to sign-up?
    • No! Just comment non-anonymously or do any of the other actions provided above with a consistent name and you'll be entered into our publicly-viewable spreadsheet.
  • How do I know you'll actually award the prize to me?
    • Just ask any of the previous winners. KoopaTV has a reputation for being a transparent and honest organisation (with the domain extension to show for it) that has given people their prizes promptly in the past.
  • Who does the judging for the judgment-call points?
    • Usually Ludwig, who may consult the staff on border cases. He also consults the other staff members on bigger-ticket point values like guest submissions. If you can win more than a point for something like a guest post, the number of points you earn is basically a quality score.
  • What do "truth" and "levity" mean?
    • Truth and levity represent the two pillars of the KoopaTV philosophy, so we'd like our readers to exhibit that as well. Truth means that your comment is rooted in the facts or is based in some sort of coherent logic. It usually means that your comment was value-added. Levity means that you're not taking yourself too seriously and you're having fun with us. If you can get a staff member to laugh from your comment, that's a sure way to earn your levity point for the day.
  • Can I get points for commenting on old articles?
    • Yes. The only limits on comments is how many you points you can earn a day, but you may get the points by commenting on any article, not just the most recent one. It's good to revisit classic material!
  • What about activity that takes place on the days in-between rounds?
    • They aren't counted for the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program.


7/4/2023: The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program has concluded.
5/1/2023: Round 50 has begun. This will be the final round.
3/1/2023: Round 49 has begun.
1/1/2023: Round 48 has begun.
11/1/2022: Round 47 has begun, featuring the random prize raffle. And for the first time ever, a preloaded debit card. Clarified in the rules that KoopaTV won't convert prizes to non-USD currencies for you.
9/1/2022: Round 46 has begun.
7/1/2022: Round 45 has begun.
5/2/2022: Round 44 has begun.
3/2/2022: Round 43 has begun.
1/3/2022: Round 42 has begun. There is now a new page to submit requests on.
11/2/2021: Round 41 has begun. The random prize component has returned.
9/2/2021: Round 40 has begun. Also discovered that the Official KoopaTV Logo Use Request form was against terms of use and was forced out of existence.
7/1/2021: Round 39 has begun.
6/25/2021: Announced a new point-gaining method, adding to "List of Media Outlets that Spread Nintendo Switch hardware revision at E3 2021 FAKE NEWS".
5/1/2021: Round 38 has begun.
3/1/2021: Round 37 has begun.
1/1/2021: Round 36 has begun.
11/2/2020: Round 35 has begun. The random prize component has returned. The Feedback Form has gone back down to 4 points.
9/1/2020: Round 34 has begun. The Feedback Form & Quiz have returned, and have increased points for this time. For the third time, the prize is membership in a Nintendo Switch family group.
7/1/2020: Round 33 has begun. The Feedback Form & Quiz are back on hiatus.
5/1/2020: Round 32 has begun. The KoopaTV Loyalty Cruise Program has been cancelled due to events beyond our control.
4/1/2020: KoopaTV announced an additional benefit to winning KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program rounds: The KoopaTV Loyalty Cruise Program!
3/1/2020: Round 31 has begun.
1/1/2020: Round 30 has begun. The point gain for the Feedback Form has been cut from 8 to 4 points.
11/20/2019: Clarified what we all knew, that you must be 13 years old or older to play.
11/1/2019: Round 29 has begun.
9/1/2019: Round 28 has begun. For the second time ever, the prize is membership in a Nintendo Switch family group. E-mail subscription has been added as a point method.
7/1/2019: Round 27 has begun.
5/1/2019: Round 26 has begun.
3/2/2019: Round 25 is a thing, and the Feedback Form & Quiz are off hiatus.
1/1/2019: Round 24 has begun.
11/1/2018: Round 23 has begun.
9/3/2018: Round 22 has begun. The Feedback Form & Quiz are on hiatus. For the first time ever, the prize is membership in a Nintendo Switch family group.
7/4/2018: Clarified that guest articles are not permitted for Corrections Corner.
7/3/2018: Round 21 has begun.
6/3/2018: This page has been updated to look nicer, with the embedded spreadsheet turning into an HTML table.
5/2/2018: Round 20 has begun.
3/2/2018: Round 19 has begun.
1/20/2018: New one-time bonus (plus ten points for winning the President Trump Fair & Balanced Mini-Contest) added.
1/8/2018: Rainbow Rocket Grunt Pixel failed to show up, so there was another raffle drawing and Vanessa Tsukino won. She received the code.
1/1/2018: Round 18 has begun. Referrals have had their points buffed and restrictions eliminated, and you can now win points via being the best comment of the month. Soviet Missile Run now has Let's Play and review one-time bonuses, while one-time bonuses based on KoopaTV's previous games have had their point values reduced. KoopaTV is calling for contact information for Rainbow Rocket Grunt Pixel because she won Round 17's raffle.
11/1/2017: Round 17 has begun.
9/1/2017: Round 16 has begun. A Round 16-exclusive one-time bonus of an Ace Attorney guest post contest is the round's special feature.
7/1/2017: Round 15 has begun, and a slight clarifying statement on Guest Art was made.
5/1/2017: Round 14 has begun, and corrections points are now available.
3/7/2017: Round 13 has begun a few days ago.
1/2/2017: Round 12 has begun. The Wonderful 1237 now has Let's Play and review one-time bonuses.
11/5/2016: Wrote that the random drawing winner has a week to receive their prize.
10/31/2016: Round 11 created, with prizes and info up. Referral and TV Tropes edit point values increased.
10/2/2016: Removed those embedded YouTube videos and changed the points list to a table.
8/30/2016: Round 10 created. Prize is a $10 eShop code.
7/17/2016: Round 9's prize is a $10 eShop code.
7/15/2016: New one-time bonus for filling out the Official KoopaTV Logo Use Request form.
7/1/2016: Round 9 begins, but no announced prizes yet.
5/4/2016: Well, there's an idea of what the prizes are.
5/2/2016: Round 8 begins, but we don't know what the prizes are yet.
3/1/2016: Round 7 begins with new prizes.
1/1/2016: Capture the Confederate Flag Let's Play and review one-time bonuses now up. Also, Round 6 begins with new prizes.
11/17/2015: Defend Anita Sarkeesian footage now gives up to 25 points.
11/2/2015: Round 5 info given. Sorta.
9/3/2015: Round 3 prize given out. Round 4 prizes and info up. Also uploaded a new video for Round 4, and added a FAQ.
8/3/2015: New method of getting points via TV Tropes.
8/1/2015: Closing the Elite Beat Agents prize.
7/8/2015: Referral period of active commenting now 5 days, not 7.
7/4/2015: New video for Round 3.
6/30/2015: Prizes from Round 2 fully distributed, prize for Round 1 up. Artwork request added as one-time bonus. Also, referrals now give FOUR additional points instead of two when they stay for a whole week.
6/12/2015: Prizes from Round 1 fully distributed so prizes for Round 2 actually finalised now.
6/1/2015: Round 1 ended, so Round 2's begin/end dates are implemented, along with prizes. Requests are now three points (from two). Guest submissions may now earn up to nine points each (from five). You may now earn two additional points for referring someone when they stay for at least a whole week, up from one.

If you have any questions or suggestions, this comments section is a good place to voice them.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Fall of Retsupurae

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Et tu, 'purae?

Sometimes, you have to laugh, to keep from crying. That's what Attorney Don West said in his opening statement of the Zimmerman Trial before laying down his killer (sorry) knock-knock joke, and it's a quote that's resonated with me ever since.

We at KoopaTV consider humor to be a very sacred thing. I dunno the stories of the other staff members, but from a very early age my pappy taught me the importance of riffing on not just ideas, but other human beings too. He knew grasping the science of it all would make me better understand it when it happened to me; that not every snicker is a stamp of cruel, hate-filled disapproval towards something (we at KoopaTV would know, there's honestly probably nothing wrong with half the things we laugh at), but just that some things are, well, funny!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Global Warming and A Good Snowman

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's a conspiracy to raise the price of videogames.

Once upon a time, while we were fighting off fascists, some indie developers in an abandoned coffee shop in the English city of Coventry wanted to make a quick pre-Christmas game. That resulted in A Good Snowman Is Hard To Build on the PC, released now.

We wouldn't be talking about it if not for a very interesting price gimmick: They are (for a limited time until March 10th) pricing the game according to what the temperature is in London on that particular day. In Celsius. (For more on Celsius and the United Kingdom, ask KoopaTV's Vortexica.)

Immediate question: Why are they pricing it based on London when they are based in Coventry? The average temperatures for London are higher than the average temperatures for Coventry, of course! The average highs in Coventry for February and March are 7.2 and 9.9 degrees Celsius, respectively. For London? 8.5 and 11.1. The average lows are 1.0 and 2.9 in Coventry, and in London they are 3.4 and 5.0. Now if I was pricing a game, I'd pick the place with higher numbers. And then cover it up with, "Well, London is the only city in Britain anyway!"

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

ZIMMERMAN: Free at last! No DoJ suit!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No suits from the suits.

KoopaTV previously reported that, since Eric Holder would be stepping down as Attorney General and head of the Department of Justice, the federal civil rights lawsuit against the hero George Zimmerman would cease. This was incorrect reporting on KoopaTV's part, but it turns out that the end conclusion is the same. Besides, we didn't say it would end immediately! But now it finally has

This time, at last, KoopaTV can finally report that the Justice Department has ended its investigation and decided there is no evidence to try George Zimmerman for violating the civil rights of Trayvon Martin (federal hate crime-style) almost 3 years ago today. For an alternate reality of what could've happened, Rawk brings you this:

Monday, February 23, 2015

I Wanna Go South

By RAWKHAWK2010 - And I'm not just whistlin' Dixie.

Ah, the Deep South -- home of tobacco chewin', moonshinin', mullets, banjos, and sex with your first cousin.

Confederate Rebel Villager Animal Crossing
"It's a Southern thang. Y'all wouldn't understand."

Friday, February 20, 2015

Happy Birthdays: Noxial and Rawk!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Wishing my colleagues well.

Since we did not have KoopaTV articles at this time last year, this will be the first article of its kind: Today, February 20, it is Noxial's birthday! (You know, the girl we just hired.) But it's also RawkHawk2010's birthday! (You know, the...well, you should know him already.)

With two great KoopaTV employees suddenly becoming older on the same day, did you expect us not to acknowledge it?

"Ludwig, this is as filler as it gets." Hey, we're going to update yesterday's article on Joe Darke tomorrow to tell you how his trial went. That's a big deal. KoopaTV: Our first time as a courtroom reporter! Makes up for there not being another Zimmerman trial this month.

I tried figuring out how their birthdays went (that's why this article is published so late). ...Their stories are either depressing or boring. But here's a lesson from the depressing story: Keeping a birthday person waiting at a restaurant for over an hour and having poor service on that specific day isn't good customer relationship management or good service.

Remember to follow the TV Troopas on Instagram. Noxial would love that. You don't have to do anything for Rawk.

At KoopaTV, we praise good customer service and trash bad customer service. While this restaurant (which will be unnamed out of... pity) is usually known for great service, apparently today just wasn't the day. And that (on a special day) can be particularly traumatic.

KoopaTV isn't in the business of consulting (see our Disclaimers) but a piece of advice: The best thing you can do to have your (potential) customers be happy even when you can't actually serve their needs is to be transparent with them. Or at least, make them think you're being transparent. You don't even have to be honest with them, but if they think you are, that's great! For example, if you massively failed to correctly anticipate the demand for a product line, you can publicly blame the West Coast port being shut down! Hey, you're giving people a reason and saying sorry and whatever. Better than just not telling people anything and leaving them (figuratively... or literally, in some cases) stranded without any clue. If people think you just gave up and don't give a shit about them, they'll remember that and have a grudge.

That's why KoopaTV tries to have awesome customer service to y'all. We're available to help and respond within 24 hours, often much sooner. If you're gonna have a grudge against us, it should be because of our content, not because of our service! We love you. Similarly, we love our staff members (not including the one former one) so they get dedicated happy birthday articles.

...oh wait Kamek never got one. ...Sorry.

How rare is it that two different, unrelated KoopaTV staff members would have a birthday on the same day? Pretty cool. Ludwig's is in December and he usually gets videogame-related stuff. Or money.

Ludwig got a dedicated happy birthday article in 2013 as well. Herman Cain's birthday is on the same day. ...Okay.
For 2014, Mark Block got a birthday article, and he's not even on our staff.
Our happy birthday to Noxial was for nothing, because on that day she left to join ISIS. 
Here's an article dedicated to customer service. For Customer Service Week 2015!
Rawk's 2017 birthday shares with Presidents Day.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Joe Darke Arrested! ...Kills Prosecutor Neil Marshall. *Updated with the trial!*

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Allegedly kills Neil Marshall. We'll keep you updated as to if it's proven or not in his upcoming trial.

(LOS ANGELES, California) It was a blissful, ordinary day that turned into a dark and stormy night... of murder.

Businessman Joe Darke of Darke Flashlights Limited allegedly went on a serial killing spree last September. The Los Angeles Police Department's top talent have been working to nab this guy, and they tell KoopaTV (you're hearing it here first) that Joe Darke turned himself in after months of being on the run for the deaths of Edward Jones, Jason Knight, Edith Kirby, Rachel Moss, and Jeb Bates.

We have one more name to add to that list: Los Angeles prosecutor Neil Marshall. Mr. Marshall was supposed to be the prosecutor for the Joe Darke killings, but he is now the (hopefully final) victim. How did this happen?!
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Neil Marshall autopsy report killed February 19 2015 Joe Darke
Neil Marshall's autopsy report.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Nintendo shouldn't buy Third Party IPs

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Not by themselves, anyway.

There are two kinds of annoying people out there with regards to Nintendo opinions and third parties. The first is that Nintendo itself should go third party, pulling a SEGA. This is flat-out stupid.

The second is pretty much the opposite: Nintendo should buy third-party intellectual properties and make them Nintendo franchises. This thought is said by Nintendo fans who think that Nintendo manages its own properties better than third-parties do with theirs. So they say, "Nintendo should buy Sonic from SEGA!" Or, "Nintendo should buy Mega Man from CAPCOM!"

Note that no one is saying that Nintendo should buy Pac-Man from Bandai Namco, because Pac-Man is terrible and no one gives a shit about him except Health.

Pac-Man vomit figure green goop

Why are these Nintendo fans in particular annoying? Because it is just so easy to prove them wrong, as KoopaTV is about to do.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Welcome Noxial, Devin, and Claira: Social Media Managers!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV also has new social media avenues.

Remember that whole, "KoopaTV is trying to hire people" article that we've been keeping updated this whole time? It turns out someone has actually gone all the way through with it and has been hired! That's right, the elusive "Future KoopaTV Staff Member" from the hit KoopaTV video "Koopasentai" is revealed! And she is our social media manager! (That's right: IT'S A GIRL!)

KoopaTV would like to welcome Noxial to our staff.

Cute girls love KoopaTV.
We're not just welcoming Noxial, though... Introducing Devin and Claira! Give 'em a round of applause!
Devin, the spokesturtle and new KoopaTV mascot!
Claira, the spokesturtle and new KoopaTV mascot!

Where are you gonna see these lovely Koopas and Troopas?


Follow @TVTroopas on Twitter! Yes, that's right, KoopaTV now has TWO Twitters! (Follow the existing one, too, at @TheREALKoopaTV. I'll continue to personally run that.)


KoopaTV now has an Instagram! I vaguely even know what an Instagram is, but I guess that's why we had to hire someone to figure that out. So if you have one of these Instagram things, you go ahead and follow the TVTroopas, alright?

Noxial will also have control of our tumblr (well, so will I, but it's not a focus for us), while I'll stick with Ello and try to see if anything can come out of it.

If you want to know the adventures of the TV Troopas as they live their daily lives and also engage with daily KoopaTV material, with pictures provided, follow those accounts!

The Knowing When We Update article has been updated as well. 

Ludwig will need to publish KoopaTV's articles at more consistent times of day so Noxial can properly share them and plan out her photos. Please welcome Noxial, and the TV Troopas, in the comments!

Wondering why Noxial hasn't been doing her job? She quit after a week and joined ISIS.
We regret to inform you that the TV Troopas are deceased.
Koopie Koo is too good a girlfriend for this guy.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Ike and Abe? That'd never happen.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Abraham Lincoln is the antithesis of the Radiant Hero.

I already wrote earlier about how misrepresented and terrible Ike is in Code Name S.T.E.A.M. here. You know, the protagonist Ike of Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, and Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Smash Bros. 4 fame.

For a reminder, he looks like this in Code Name S.T.E.A.M.:

Ike Code Name S.T.E.A.M. 3DS game STEAM amiibo
Deformed head, twig limbs. Terrible.
However, not only does he look out-of-place, but the very notion that Ike, the great Radiant Hero (you can see a ton of pictures of what he should like here) and saviour of Tellius, would ever team up with the likes of Abraham Lincoln is out-of-character. (The rest of this article has Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn spoilers, especially the former. ...The latter ones aren't a big deal.)

Friday, February 13, 2015

Dawn of A New Day: The Majora's Mask 3D release

By VORTEXICA - Or; Vortexica prattles on longer than Anju's grandmother

It's Friday the 13th. A date associated with a particular work of fiction, involving dark themes, a slowly-encroaching doom, and most famously, a madman in a mask sowing disorder and death in his wake...

But enough about Jason Voorhees, let's talk about Majora's Mask 3D! That's right, folks. The much anticipated remake of The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask is finally here! It's no secret there's little love for this game amongst KoopaTV's staff, for various reasons, but in an effort to bring you more of that "fair and balanced" malarkey, here's an article from my own viewpoint. This will be a casual look at the game's release, which includes comparing the European and North American releases as well as examining the quality of the various pre-order bonuses.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Mainstream Media Bias Against New 3DS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV is better than the lamestream gaming media. Always.

The New 3DS XL is coming out February 13, or tomorrow. The media is doing a bunch of hit pieces on it, because, hey, they're all against Nintendo. This is pretty parallel to how the media attacks political candidates or policies that challenge their twisted values, like the attacks on Herman Cain, both Ron and Rand Paul, and the FAIRtax. Standard stuff for them.

Disclaimer: KoopaTV itself did a hit piece on the New 3DS when it was first announced. We don't regret that one, and we stuck to the facts. ...I'd argue it was also more anti-Shigeru Miyamoto than anti-New 3DS.

The latest slew of attacks on the New 3DS that the mainstream media is massively reporting is the transfer process between your ordinary, old 3DS and the New 3DS XL. They're falsely reporting about its complexity. See the official Nintendo of America video going over the process, in detail, below:

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Those Brothers through Smash: Saving Apex 2015!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The community (and sponsors) saved the day.

We know that Apex 2015, (originally) from Friday January 30 to Sunday February 1, was signed up to be the biggest Super Smash Bros. series tournament ever, with well over 1,000 (to 2,000) unique entrants between the games. With Nintendo's sponsorship and even Splatoon making an appearance, what could go wrong? Having so much fun with Splatoon you miss your Smash Bros. match?

Well, the hotel that Apex 2015 took place at, the Clarion Hotel Empire Meadowlands Hotel, was shut down for fire code violations and crumbling infrastructure. For more information, check out this screenshot of reviews (and Clarion literally ASKED for these reviews) that Apex participants left for the hotel. You can look at more reviews at your own leisure:

Clarion Hotel Empire Meadowlands Hotel Apex 2015 venue convention reviews fire code violations
Not gonna lie, I laughed with some of these.
So if the venue they planned a three-day event at basically collapses (and they don't refund you), what happens to the event? Lesser communities might have just said, "Well, these are extreme circumstances! Let's cancel it and spend the weekend in the New Jersey snow!" (Actually, Splatoon stayed at the Clarion the whole weekend for some reason, so maybe they'd all play Splatoon and have a blast.) 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Harry Potter? Nah. Zelda on Netflix? ...Maybe?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Rumours of Nintendo and pop culture.

I am notoriously bad at pop culture, whether it be anime or watching real movies. But this apparently requires some kind of commentary, so let's go!

Over the past few days, Unseen64 has revealed that Nintendo tried to buy an exclusive Harry Potter videogame license deal back in the late 1990s. The Wall Street Journal has revealed that Netflix is in the very early stages of a live-action The Legend of Zelda series.

Note that both these stories come from anonymous sources.

Legend of Zelda Netflix Nintendo Link Harry Potter
"We don't need you, geeky Wizzrobe! We got our own IP!"

Let's start with the first of those. Back in 1998 (the first book was written in 1997 and its first movie was 2001), according to Unseen64, the license for producing Harry Potter stuff in all media forms (not just videogames, but also movies, television, comics, whatever) was up for bidding from book series author, J.K. Rowling. Apparently, Nintendo and a bunch of movie companies (including eventual winner Warner Brothers) bid for it.

Monday, February 9, 2015

brentalfloss, stay back. We got Smiles and Tears WITH LYRICS covered!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Apparently, we can write better lyrics, too.

We love fan-created works at KoopaTV, whether they be fan games or fan art pieces.

We just don't like some videos created by "fans" if they happen to be made by obnoxious, popular people on YouTube. But hey, we love OUR videos. And... we're rather neutral on this brentalfloss guy.

I mean, he clearly does not know (or does not care) that Cranky Kong and Donkey Kong are two different characters. If Donkey Kong was truly just a "changed look" from Cranky Kong, how are they adventuring together in Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze?

Meanwhile, his song with Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, while popular in the viewcounts, is... troubling with its lyrics, especially one particular section which is totally inaccurate to what the game is about and would be better if it was a Highschool DxD WITH LYRICS! video. ...Or something. Which is sort of okay if it's a game everyone knows about, but Ace Attorney is sort of niche and that is probably thousands of people's first impression of it, if not tens of thousands or even... hundreds of thousands! Similarly, he gave people the impression that Punch-Out!! on the Wii (which we reviewed here, and is currently available for $20 on the Wii U eShop) is just a mere "remake". (It's a sequel.) (That said, his video isn't all that bad there.)

Friday, February 6, 2015

Are Games Too Hard to Learn?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Electronic Arts thinks so.

This is a pre-cursor to an article I've been meaning to write since 2013 on "easy to learn, hard to master", but I guess I better partly address the issue right here and now.

Richard Hilleman, Chief Creative Officer of Electronic Arts at the D.I.C.E. Summit that just happened, thinks that games are too hard to learn.

Richard Hilleman Chief Creative Officer Electronic Arts
Hat tip to GameSpot, of course.
It's unclear if Mr. Hilleman was speaking for everyone when he said "Our games" or if he specifically meant EA's games. Clearly, some games now don't even last more than two hours, including most mobile games (how long do you plan to play Need For Speed: No Limits? For most people, until the gas tank runs out, right?) and KoopaTV's games like Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! and Defend Anita Sarkeesian, the latter of which has its credits sequence lasting longer than the actual game itself.

Mr. Hilleman then stated, "And asking for two hours of somebody's time--most of our customers, between their normal family find two contiguous hours to concentrate on learning how to play a video game is a big ask[.]"

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Keep Those YouTubers Away From Nintendo! Nintendo Creators Program!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Exposing the fraudulent YouTube celebrities.

Props to Nintendo. They're making the hard, but correct choices. Back in 2013, I wrote an article that was very supportive of Nintendo taking monetisation away from the for-profit YouTubers who relied on using Nintendo's intellectual property to make money. After over a year later, those talentless hacks managed to achieve a shift in Nintendo's policy: Introducing, the Nintendo Creators Program!

Note that it's not "Nintendo Creators' Program". The "creators" (the content creators, being the YouTubers) don't own it. At all times, Nintendo is in charge here. Nintendo explains it with this,
The Nintendo Creators Program is a service through which Nintendo gives you part of the advertising proceeds it receives from YouTube for your Nintendo-related YouTube videos."
In other words, Nintendo is doing you a favour by giving you anything. It's sort of like the mentality that the federal government is trying to give to its citizens: The government owns all of your money, and it doesn't tax all 100% of it just because it pities you.

...Except unlike the government's, Nintendo's claim here is very legitimate. The government's claim is just theft via force, and the IRS should be abolished. But that's the subject for a series of other articles already written.

Nintendo Creators Program explanation, YouTube advertising revenue
You give Nintendo money when you buy the game.
Then Google gives Nintendo money when you film the game.
...Then Nintendo gives you some money back, and soon, you'll pay off the game's purchase price!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Dos and Don'ts: Club Nintendo's Last Rewards!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My recommendations of that catalogue.

I got 700 Club Nintendo coins to use until June 30th, and I have no idea what to use them on. For your collective sake, dear readers, perhaps I'll dedicate them to KoopaTV-related prizes. But I kind of want to enjoy myself, too. So let's check out Club Nintendo's grand finale! I can tell you what to get and what to avoid.

Club Nintendo has sign-in problems due to high traffic volumes.
...If we can get in.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Are Our Soundtracks Safe?

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Hold them tight!

For those that watched my award-winning advertisement video, "Koopasentai",  y'all may have picked up on that I'm a pretty big fan of Dragon Ball. And that's what I'm here to talk about.

"But KoopaTV is for video-games, you tuberculosis-suffering orphan!" Aha, sure enough, but for years now one could say that Dragon Ball has primarily been a video-game franchise above all else. During the years-long droughts that separate the canon Toriyama-directed movies such as Battle of Gods, how are fans' brains going to keep their new content nodes satisfied? It's the games, bro!

Monday, February 2, 2015

KoopaTV's January 2015 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How did you like the first 1/12th of 2015?

Did you like January? January had some lifestyle changes for us. Those were largely undesirable. Anyway, we still brought you a variety of awesome goodies this month.

Let's get right to the top 5 recommended articles for January 2015! (In chronological order.)
  1. Rush Limbaugh: Videogamers Are the Least Successful Among Us
  2. 2015 Starts Dim for the 'Zim
  3. amiibo Attacks on Canon
  4. A Review Of Choice: Texas — Should You Choose It?
  5. Japan Vs. ISIS: Humour Versus Terrorism!
Of course, every article is worth reading.

We had multiple long-running article series end in January (including the latest chapter in the George Zimmerman saga), so with so much concluding, what will KoopaTV do now? Never fear, we really won't go on another hiatus this month. So look forward to the first February of KoopaTV!

We also had some big opportunities from social media from January, including Japan's first real exposure to KoopaTV. We're excited about those opportunities.

By the way, we're looking at some big things that will happen in — or be announced in — the month of February. And we're not just saying that: We have actual plans being discussed in our AIM Blast! Want access to it? Download AIM and become a KoopaTV staff member, including the new Japanese Marketing Manager position! Want to help share in our past, present, and future success? Become an affiliate!

Want to just be a loyal reader? That's fine too. We love your comments, by the way.

Share KoopaTV to your friends, enemies, and anyone else walking by. Or running. Or surfing... on the web. You wouldn't want to interrupt their surf in the ocean, would you?

For last month's (December 2014) newsletter, click here.
For next month's, and the first February ever, click here.
Last year's newsletter review called itself "a new start" and then took a one-month hiatus.
Next year's January 2016 is right here!