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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Slippery Slope of Shit For Xbox One's Mandatory Internet Connections

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I doubt it's called the Xbox "One" for "one-time connection".

Gamers everywhere rejoiced when Microsoft made a turnaround on their always-online policy for the Xbox One. Of course, Kinect still spies on you, but now those without a stable Internet connection (who are presumably under or not represented on Internet message boards due to...not having Internet, and therefore this blog probably doesn't care about the disenfranchised-by-always-online demographic anyway) can somehow "enjoy" buying an Xbox One. Even if a PlayStation 4 is cheaper and will presumably have better games. But you know what it won't have?

Monday, July 29, 2013

Smash 4 DOES HAVE a Story Mode

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Blame Kotaku for everything.

Apparently, some very bad news has caught the Internet like a wildfire. Or to be less cliché, like the popularity of bashing Nintendo for not caring about conflict minerals in Africa. Apparently, Masahiro Sakurai said in an issue of Famitsu that Super Smash Bros. 4 would not have a story mode! Well, we're done kids! No Subspace Emissary update for you!

Friday, July 26, 2013

Steer Clear of Egalitarian Approaches

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Franchises are not created equal.

Recently, I came across a Miiverse post that wished for at least four characters from every represented franchise in Super Smash Bros. 4. To review, there are 19 different franchises represented in Super Smash Bros. Brawl alone, which means just to cover Brawl, we'd need 76 characters. Add 12 more with the new Animal Crossing, Mega Man, and Wii Fit franchises that must be represented, and we have a roster that can't even fit on one character select screen.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Dragon Questing In the West!

By HEALTH - Are we gooing the wrong way?

So here we have a conundrum. We have a long lasting series, with a large enough fanbase that warrants localization! Sounds familiar, doesn't it? (Ludwig would like Ace Attorney Investigations 2 brought over under these same pretenses) But what's different? 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Losing the Soundtrack to Sticker Star Makes Me Sicker and Scarred

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Re-purposing old article title ideas.

The one redeeming thing about Paper Mario: Sticker Star is its soundtrack. Before I actually got the game, I asked Rawk how the soundtrack was and he claimed it only had nine songs on it. Boy, was he wrong. The real thing is almost three hours long! That's longer than Paper Mario itself, and nearly tied with Super Paper Mario. It's the best soundtrack that Intelligent Systems has ever done, even better than Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn or its predecessor, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Not Your Father's Donkey Kong

By RAWKHAWK2010 - (...or anyone else's, apparently.) 

I've always been a fan of the greater Donkey Kong series lore. Unlike Mario which literally retcons the latest game out of existence with every new installment, Donkey Kong and its children series (Banjo, Conker, etc.) seem to present themselves in a more comic-like continuity, where a rich mythos is established and consistency is held sacred above all else.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Ace Attorney 5 Rated M for Mature

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Could be why it's digital download only.

According to Capcom, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies is rated M in America by the ESRB for "Blood, Violence, Suggestive Themes, Language". Well, the series has always had blood and depicted violence. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney had some swears in it, I guess. All of the prior games in the series have been rated T. ...Don't know what "suggestive themes" means.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Go Get EarthBound on the Wii U.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Get Ace Attorney too.

You expect me to write an actual article here? That's Rawk's job. I've been waiting over ten years for EarthBound to be rereleased in America outside of the SNES.

I've never played EarthBound before. I've refused to acquire it by non-legal methods. So this is cool.

We knew it was coming to the Wii U "before the end of the year". I literally expected this to be Christmas time. It's ONLY July!

Literally the only Virtual Console game to actually have a new trailer dedicated to it. Must be amazing. Probably why it's $10 too.

Better not end up like Super Mario RPG did for me, though. Super hype on that by the fans. Came out on Labor Day in the USA. ...Disappointment.

Ludwig will be busy. Go Follow him on Miiverse at PrinceOfKoopas.

For the Ace Attorney version of this article, see here.
This was the beginning: Next EarthBound Beginnings was announced and released!
Will MOTHER 3 soon follow?
Well, according to KoopaTV's sources, MOTHER 3 will indeed be following.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Evil Assholes at EA

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Exposing Actual Employee Abuse.

It was only a matter of time before we at KoopaTV would have to talk about the EA Spouse story. After all, we ARE on a crusade here, and this story got legitimate publicity when it was told almost a decade ago.

In short, the story is about how the author (Erin Hoffman), the wife of an EA programmer Leander Hasty, is having a distressed broken marriage because of EA's scheduled 90-hour work weeks far in advance of when game development "crunch time" should begin. In return for these horrible hours, EA paid no overtime or compensation time. This is ripping apart the very soul of these programmers. Later, in 2006, class-action lawsuits against EA by EA Spouse's forces were successful.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Why Not Just Have All the Characters Be Miis, Miiyamoto?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The man is also a misogynist.

You probably have no idea what this article is supposed to be about judging by that mess of a title. I just wanted the pun out there.

Shigeru Miyamoto has been in the news a lot lately. Must be all of those post-E3 interviews he's doing. And there is one in particular where he offers his thoughts on female characters in videogames, provided by Kotaku. Obviously I'm going to give my thoughts on it!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Let's Read: KoopaTV Part 61

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hope you're sharp enough to get the title.

Back in May, the whole Let's Play community across YouTube bitched about Nintendo's announcement that the videogame giant would be taking the monetization away from the creators of those Let's Plays. A few of these "wealthy" "LPers", as they're referred to, have used the power of their enormous subscriber base to try to pressure Nintendo for protecting their intellectual property. And you know what? Nintendo is completely in the right.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Chris Svensson Leaves Capcom

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This... is a problem.

As I've written about previously on KoopaTV, Christian Svensson is critical to fans of Capcom's greatest franchise, Ace Attorney. Poor Mega Man is ALREADY dead, and without some OBJECTION, Ace Attorney could be too. Luckily, up to this point, the Ace Attorney diehard community has been in close contact with vocalizing their wishes with Capcom USA's Senior VP. Or should I write, Capcom's FORMER Senior VP.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Bi-Megatons: Corocoro Release and Captain Olimar

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The first useful Sakurai update.

So the original plan at KoopaTV was to have an article every day on DOJO!! updates. Seeing as how Super Smash Bros. 4 isn't Brawl and Sakurai doesn't want to do text updates, that plan never materialized. Until now. MEGATON. CAPTAIN OLIMAR CONFIRMED.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Smash 4 Characters' TV Shows Tier List

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The entire point is that I won't keep this updated.

So as you all may have seen (or maybe no one did, judging by the view count) in KoopaTV's special July 4th article, I've watched a lot of Super Mario Brothers Super Show episodes, since all of those screenshots were made by yours truly. I've actually watched all of the shows that the currently confirmed Super Smash Bros. 4 characters have had. So why not rank them? Smash 4 provides a unique opportunity because I haven't watched all of the F-Zero anime episodes (because most of them are Japanese only) or any of the many Sonic shows. Smash 4 fits what I've watched PERFECTLY.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Slavery Is Not A Game: The Game!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Conflict mineral activism.

Back in the day, I actually researched conflict minerals. That research actually began with this list of electronics companies — notice how Nintendo is dead last. Here's the gist: These miners/rebels/lawless people over in Congo go around raping and pillaging people, and they fund their violence through so-called "conflict minerals", which are used to build electronics such as Nintendo systems. Now, there's really not much Nintendo can do to control the suppliers of their suppliers, but apparently other companies have taken steps to not use "conflict minerals" and to use the same minerals mined from other places. Still, there has been this campaign to actually boycott Nintendo products over this. Of course, this began when the Wii was smashing sales records, so obviously no one gave a crap about women being raped in Congo.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

So Who Was Right With E3's Presentation?

By Ludwig Von Koopa - Not Nintendo.

According to Reggie Fils-Aime of Nintendo of America, "We're always looking for new ways to surprise and delight." True, but this was describing Nintendo's E3 presentation. "But it will be different, and it will be better." Except... it wasn't.

Monday, July 8, 2013

The Zimmerman Trial's Ace Attorneys

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Zimmerman is NOT GUILTY and you know it!

We here at KoopaTV have been following the George Zimmerman trial as it's happened — live — since the whole thing is pretty much public viewing. There is something about highly publicized trials in America. I have no idea if all trials are like this and we just don't know about it, or these are just hilarious because they're highly publicized. ...Or highly publicized because they're hilarious. It's almost like something out of Capcom's Ace Attorney franchise, actually.

Friday, July 5, 2013

I Never Want To Change A Disc Again.

BY RAWKHAWK2010 - Rawk wants off the Disco Train.

So I was lying in my bed at 3:00 or so last night, engaged in a hopeless battle against sleep. (Which I lost. Because it was hopeless.)

Letting fate have its way, I reached for my Wii U Gamepad so I could spend a few minutes checking up on Miiverse's resident Mario-worshipping weirdos. But when it turned out they weren't doing anything interesting (as usual), I moved on to the Super Metroid community and, despite Metroid fans being JUST AS BAD, I kind of wanted to play it. So I did.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Super Mario Brothers Blasting Off

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Happy Independence...?

So I wanted to make a video of this where I dubbed over the whole Team Rocket motto song and all, but then I realized that despite my brilliant voice-acting capabilities, I can't do a good Captain Lou Albano. So I'm doing this instead. Read the voices in your head or something, what do you expect from me?

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Who Ludwig is Voting For in Character Battle IX (Round 1)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Remember to vote every 12 hours!

GameFAQs hasn't hosted a Poll Of The Day Contest since 2011 with the horrible Rivalry Rumble. Now they're going back to hosting a real Character Contest! Awesome! So I'm going to tell you who I'm voting for, and you're encouraged to vote exactly the same way. Only the top one of the threepack move on. If you need to know who these characters are, look here. The first match is on July 9 at 12 AM Eastern, or July 8 at 9 PM Pacific. Then every 12 hours, a new match will happen! Look on the front page at for the poll.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Meanie Miiverse Moderation *Update 7/3/13*

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Heavy-handed.

Well, I foreshadowed that I'd write about this topic back in KoopaTV's second-ever article. So I actually have examples now. Somehow, despite being moderated by Miiverse-Admin a total of six times now, I still haven't been banned/suspended yet. ...Perhaps I should stop being bad while the going is good, but then again, look at what I've been moderated for!

Monday, July 1, 2013

KoopaTV's June Retrospection

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What, you thought these were a one-time deal?

KoopaTV is steadily growing. That's good! I'm proud of myself! Or... of everyone. So as I said in the May version of this, E3 is the time for the biggest news of the year, and that was reflected in our mondo-live coverages of all the big E3 conferences that happened. It's almost hard to imagine it, but that was only what, three weeks ago? Hey, forty-nine weeks until the next E3, right?

So that, plus normal events that happen over the course of the year, should give us more than enough article fodder! And unlike at the very beginning of last month, KoopaTV now has a war against Electronic Arts we can write a ton of stuff about. Fun, right?

Speaking of fun, we could use more staffers. Fun staffers. Good writers. Those could be guest-posters, or they could be, y'know, full-blown KoopaTV staff. You could even join our elusive Koopa Keep Blast...!

And besides some great articles over June, five of which I'm about to recommend if you were living under a rock or are new to KoopaTV, we now have the TERMS INDEX! The Terms Index, which you can easily access at any time thanks to its own page labeled "Index" at the top of your screen (next to "Home" and "About"), is a revolutionary and helpful mechanism where you can think, "Hey, in what articles was this topic I'm interested in name-dropped?" and then get the answer to that very query! And since this is the 50th article that KoopaTV will be publishing, this organization method is great for you, the reader. (And a pain for ME to put together since I do it manually.)

So as I said before, here are the top five KoopaTV articles you'd definitely want to read from June (in no particular order):
  2. EA at E3 and Dudebro Catering
  3. An E3 for Donkey Kong Fans
  4. The Best Buy Experience (With Videos!)
  5. Jessie Go Jr. Two Trailer
Of course, and this goes without saying, every article is worth reading — nay, EXPERIENCING — on KoopaTV. So enjoy, and look forward to...JULY!

This hasn't been mentioned on KoopaTV yet, but Ludwig is aggressively campaigning over Animal Crossing: New Leaf for KoopaTV, going so far as to name his town after this very website. If you want to visit him without destroying his town, exchange 3DS friend codes! His is 3351-5164-3598.

For May's retrospection, click here.
If you're interested in how July went, click here.
To see the difference between 2013 and 2014, look here.