Nintendo's 10 Million Miitomo Users are Hollow

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And how good will Fire Emblem be?

Looks like Nintendo is really proud they have 10 million Miitomo users. That means the number of people who have downloaded Miitomo. There are over 300 million conversations, and over 20 million Miifotos — user-generated ones, not automatic ones. From what I've read, Miifotos are the best part of Miitomo, so an average of 2 per user doesn't sound very promising.

Here's what the user reviews say:

“it got boring.” “I was hyped for this app but I was honestly let down.”

Reading some more reviews, it seems people don't understand what “candy” does, either. One user was creeped out how it asks for your address, and another believes that it's way too hard to get coins.

The users they're attracting don't seem to be all that smart, especially this guy who claims to be a lifelong Nintendo fan:

Nintendo's E3 2016 Might Be Good!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There is nothing incompatible with Nintendo's plans for E3 2016, and E3 2016 being good.

You've probably heard about what Nintendo is planning to do with their E3 2016 (June 14–June 16, 2016). It's not the full set of details, but according to Nintendo's press release, here's the gist of it: 

“E3: Nintendo changes its approach to the show every year. This June, Nintendo will focus its attentions on the upcoming game in The Legend of Zelda franchise. The Wii U version of the game will be playable for the first time on the E3 show floor, and it will be the only playable game Nintendo presents at the show, in order to provide attendees a complete immersion. Additional information about Nintendo’s E3 plans will be announced in the future.” 

The same source says, of the NX,

“NX will not make an appearance at the upcoming E3 video game trade show in Los Angeles in June and will be unveiled later this year.”

A lot of people are upset with Nintendo after yesterday's massive news dump, relating to the NX and The Legend of Zelda's new Wii U release year. (Coming out on the NX at the same time, as well.) Some people misread and thought that because the NX will be releasing March 2017, that The Legend of Zelda is dated March 2017 as well. That is a guess, and not a fact. The Legend of Zelda is only dated for 2017. That's as specific as we'll get, for now. But we WILL know more about it from E3.

People think this E3 idea is fated for disaster. But I see several reasons how this disaster can be averted, and I'll list them. You can disagree if you want (and make those known in the comments) but at least consider my points. ...Yes, this is a bit leaning on the speculation side (which I don't usually do on this site), but I'll try to be reasonably factual here. I also will discuss what makes an E3 good.

Nintendo to Release the NX this March 2017

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, other interesting information from their investor relations releases today.

We last got to hear some Nintendo-related consolidated financials back at the start of February, and I was pretty disgruntled back then. Now Nintendo's fiscal year is over, and we're on a new one. That means we get some more information about hopefully-interesting things. Since February, Mario Party 10 has managed to outsell The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD in total sales! ...Whatever.

We also found out very key information, such as:

“For our dedicated video game platform business, Nintendo is currently developing a gaming platform codenamed “NX” with a brand-new concept. NX will be launched in March 2017 globally.”

That's sooner than I expected, as I'll mention at the end of the article. And might be later than YOU expected.

Nintendo also projects to get 500 billion yen in revenue over the next year, which is actually less than what they've gotten over the past year. Impressively enough, their cost of goods sold is proportionately less than before. What that basically means is that as Nintendo keeps selling things digitally and more and more customers buy less games physically, Nintendo gets to keep more money. That's as you would expect, and it's why Nintendo is doing all of these digital purchasing initiatives and My Nintendo. Since they won't lower the MSRP of the games, they can afford (well, in light of these results, not really) to pass along the cost-savings in the form of loyalty coupons.

REVIEW: Mini Mario & Friends: amiibo Challenge

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We should've gotten Donkey Kong: Trooper Challenge instead.

You may recall that in the March 2016 Nintendo Direct, they announced Mini Mario & Friends: amiibo Challenge for the Wii U and 3DS. Anyone who bought an amiibo at participating retailers between March 25 and April 27 got free codes for the Wii U and 3DS versions. I went to one of those and bought some amiibo, and got codes.

If you want more details about that, stay tuned for the conclusion of the “How Team Koopa Escaped Rio” series here on KoopaTV. Whenever that is finished, it'll be linked to at the bottom of this review. I want to focus on this game, Mini Mario & Friends: amiibo Challenge.

Now, the reason that it comes with an amiibo? You need at least one amiibo to actually play. Could be any amiibo. But only a select few amiibo give you special things in the game. I'll talk more about that in the review, but that's just something important to get out of the way.

I don't particularly feel like making particular sections for each part (gameplay, graphics, whatever) of the game like I've done in some previous reviews. I'm feeling holistic right now. All screenshots for this review are from the Wii U version.

How Team Koopa Escaped Rio — Part 3

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday at Rio de Janeiro.

At the start of April, I wrote that Team Koopa, that is, myself, Wendy O. Koopa, Roy Koopa, Larry Koopa, King Bowser Koopa, and Bowser Jr. were all stranded at Rio de Janeiro International Airport. Dry Bones and Dry Bowser are part of our Olympic competitive team, too, but they're immune to the Zika Virus while the rest of us weren't.

Since that cut into KoopaTV's April article count, I wanted to give you guys the detailed story about what happened at Rio. It started from me making a long trip from the National Library of Brazil to Rio de Janeiro International Airport. King Dad gave us permission to explore the area as we waited for extraction, and Bowser Jr. and I encountered Zazz, one of the members of the Zeti Deadly Six. They're the ones who gave us Zika. We... didn't really defeat Zazz, but got away from him back to the airport. We ran really fast. You wouldn't think guys with shells could do that, but Zazz is that creepy.

Anyway, in the story, it's about to be Monday morning. Roy, Wendy, and Larry have a story to tell, so I'm going to get to telling their story within my own story. I feel hijacked. But, we'll get past that within this same article, so just read it:

Don't Lose Hope in MOTHER 3's Localisation!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's coming... it's coming...

Apparently, everyone thought the April 20, 2016 Nintendo of America stream was going to be about MOTHER 3. It was about Star Fox Zero instead, and it showcased an awesome short film. The reason for that hype? Well, April 20, 2016 is the ten-year anniversary of MOTHER 3 coming out in Japan!

Pft, if Nintendo doesn't care about the anniversary for September 11, what makes you think Nintendo of America would care about the anniversary date for a Japan-only game? What got that idea in your head? The whole worldwide sponsored Splatfest for Pokémon's 20th anniversary despite it only being 20 years for Japan? Hmph! Silly!

Either way, the majority of people are losing hope.

That said, the wording of the GameFAQs poll options here are stupid, which is why the total vote count is so low.
What if I think they will release it, but not that week?

 
I said back in July 2015 that MOTHER 3 is coming soon, and it was one of Satoru Iwata's last requests to Reggie Fils-Aime. Then it was released on the Japanese Wii U Virtual Console in December of that year.

Was that date a relevant anniversary? No. Not of anything relating to the MOTHER series. Japan just released the game on some random day, that happened to be before Christmas.

GameStop's Publishing Business — GameTrust!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Do they have MY trust?

When exclusively selling Shulk amiibo is not giving GameStop enough of a profit margin to satisfy their shareholders, they start creating positions like “vice president of internal development and diversification.” (That belongs to Mark Stanley, by the way.) They also get into the game publishing business. Meet GameTrust, featuring the same CamelCase stylising as its parent.

The first game they're going to publish is Song of the Deep, developed by Insomniac Games.

“Publisher: GameStop”? NO, IT'S GameTrust! Get it right! Sheesh, they got a lot to learn. (Source: Insomniac's site.)

GameTrust at least has a pretty cool logo. Better than GameStop's.

Go Watch Star Fox Zero — The Battle Begins

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Shigeru Miyamoto's latest short film masterpiece.

A year and a half ago, Shigeru Miyamoto poured his black, shriveled heart out to produce the awesome Pikmin movie shorts.

They were so... good, that I called upon Miyamoto to do that producer role full-time and quit game design. He hasn't listened to me and has since spread lies about my family in retaliation for my suggestion. Fortunately, even though he hasn't quit game design, the movie producer role wasn't a one-time gig.

Here's his latest work: Star Fox Zero — The Battle Begins:

Will Gifting Ever Return to Nintendo Digital Downloads?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's ask the source.

At the beginning of 2016, Nintendo totally renovated their www.nintendo.com online digital games purchasing system. KoopaTV covered that, but we also noted the loss of gifting functionality because it no longer uses download codes.

This gifting functionality used to exist back from 2014 to when the site was renovated, and I'd know, as someone who has both sent and received download codes generated from this service.

I and many others are upset about it (or will be upset if they know about it — so share the article we wrote on it, please, or this one). Is there any hope for gifts to return? Gift-giving is important. It's how KoopaTV can give specific game prizes that aren't just currency codes. It's how people can give birthday presents and other nice things to their friends. Would you rather receive $35 in an eShop gift card, or receive Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam costing $35? ...Well, I'd pick the gift card, but I will say that specific game gifts are a great way to get people to try, play, and hopefully enjoy games they would not otherwise buy on their own.

(The game is great, by the way.)

I think Nintendo is aware of this side-effect, but I think this is important enough that we should campaign for it back. It doesn't need to be download codes returning, but why not a specific feature that says NNID ABC can gift a game to NNID XYZ? Like the Wii Shop Channel on the Wii?

This is actually something Nintendo of America would be able to answer, since it's their dang site. With that said...

...On April 17, I sent this support ticket: 

How Team Koopa Escaped Rio — Part 2

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A fight... and intrigue.

I left you guys in a cliffhanger, didn't I? I bet you're wondering what happened next.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, I'm talking about my storytelling regarding what exactly happened to Team Koopa when we were trapped in Rio de Janeiro, after Brazilian officials determined that me, King Dad, Bowser Jr., Larry, Wendy, and Roy all had the Zika virus.

You can and should read Part 1 of that here, or else this might not make sense.

With that bit of introduction out of the way, it's time to dive right into the action! Let's see, where we left off, this was happening:

Disregard the IRS, Keep Your Currency

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Taxation is theft.

April 15 is the worst day of the year. It doesn't have to be — and I don't just mean moving the day. That actually is the case this year — taxes are due April 18 in 2016.

There could fundamentally be a change in how people look at paying taxes. Instead of dreading for months or weeks before the due date about all the paperwork you have to fill out just so your money can be forcefully taken away from you with guns by an unaccountable agency that assumes guilt before innocence, we can abolish the Internal Revenue Service.

We don't need an income tax. We don't need a payroll tax. The federal government in the United States can be funded by a national consumption tax as a replacement. It's the FairTax plan. You could say that's still theft, but at least it's not intrusive and you don't need to retain any records.

Until then, what can YOU do to avoid taxes? ...Ask an accountant. Not me. I just know that if you work, and you pay less in taxes, you'll have more money to do things like purchase videogames. Or feed your family. (Though, depending on the game, you may be convinced that you shouldn't be eating.)

SpongeBob Splatfest To Spoil Splatoon

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Now say that title a few times, fast.

You know, I really like writing about Splatoon's Splatfests. They're usually interesting, or so dumb that we can make them interesting. They can make you think and answer deep philosophical questions that you usually wouldn't find discussed on a gaming website, but it's totally okay to talk about it as Gaming Commentary.

...But I really am disappointed with this crap idea...no, crap this-is-actually-being-done-the-weekend-after-this-one:

Nintendo UK can't even get the capitalisation right on SpongeBob. ...And neither did I on my first attempt.

That's right: Nintendo of America and Europe will be sharing a Splatfest: SpongeBob vs. Patrick from the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon. Meanwhile, Japan also has a Splatfest that weekend. Maybe I can talk about that without feeling shameful...

The Newly Renovated Nintendo.com Game Shop

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nintendo.com is now connected to your eShop balance. But there's a functionality loss.

A long time ago, in 2014, Nintendo allowed it so you could purchase games off of www.nintendo.com. This purchasing had a few flaws, namely that you could only pay with a credit card. While you had to log in with your Nintendo Network ID, it wasn't connected to your eShop balance, and card codes weren't accepted. It was a disjointed experience, though I won't complain about when I got gifted download codes from it. (Hang tight 'til the end of the article for a very important comment about that last part of the sentence.)

BUT NOW? IT'S ALL CHANGED. Makes sense, too. You want to make buying digital games as easy as possible with the new My Nintendo rewards program. You get GOLD COINS for buying digital games, which can be used to get more digital games.

Into physical purchases instead? Too bad. You get nothing. That's how it's different than Club Nintendo.

Want to buy Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (and you should)?
Well, Buy digital has a special big orange button. Buy physical? Only non-styled losers do that.

It's a lamentable situation, but that's just how the industry has been trending.

More importantly, that means something important for you, the KoopaTV reader: 

The Music of the Game & Watch Octopus

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think it's undeservedly underappreciated and underused.

Less than two months ago, I declared the virtues of what happens when videogame composers make really awesome leitmotifs. They can repeat and remix the same song game after game, and the audience will love and crave this relative non-originality.

But what about the videogame music that I consider to be the greatest bubblegum pop music from a videogame of all time? Of all time?

I'm talking about the Octopus theme from Game & Watch Gallery. It was in that game, and then in Game & Watch Gallery 4 sounding a bit different. That's it.

But... we've seen the Game & Watch Octopus all over the place. What's this indignity? Let's explore, and treat you to amazing, amazing music.

How Team Koopa Escaped Rio — Part 1

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And how we staved off the Zika virus. Well, not that part yet.

Hey guys! I'm back! KoopaTV will be returning to our regularly scheduled programmes. Believe me, I missed writing about some of the crap going on surrounding the videogame industry. I also missed sleeping in my own bed, and being in a civilised society.

As everyone hopefully knows, Team Koopa (minus Dry Bones and Dry Bowser) was trapped in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, for the past week or so. We were there before we were considered trapped, but that was with the understanding that we could leave after our Olympics training. Obviously there's more than just Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

I'm sure you're all itching to know (though, I bet it's less itching than we did as Zika victims) what happened since you last heard from me. So, I'm going to let you know what happened, in detail, starting right after I published the article on April 1, 2016 saying we'd be stuck in Rio for a bit.

This is only Part 1, because, hey, this is rather lengthy:

Team Koopa Contracted ZIKA Virus at Rio?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Um, this is a serious problem, actually.

You know I've been in Brazil for weeks, right? Rio de Janeiro. Team Koopa has been the absolute best team in practicising for the Summer 2016 Olympics. Team Sonic and Team Mario (ew) have nothing on our all-star line-up.

So, time to go to KoopaTV's headquarters in Sierra Leone.

...Or, that's what I tried to do. But the people at Rio de Janeiro International Airport didn't let me, or any other members of Team Koopa. Well, except for the Dry dudes. But that leaves myself, Wendy, King Dad, Bowser Jr., Larry, and Roy behind.

APPARENTLY, we all have the Zika virus and they don't want us leaving Brazil for a bit. The virus is passed by sexual transmission (I didn't have any, and I strongly doubt any of Team Koopa's other members did while in Rio. This is despite the Centers for Disease Control's warning that “[t]he celebratory atmosphere at the Olympics may encourage travelers to engage in risky sex”) or through mosquito bites. Apparently, if a mosquito bites an infected person, it becomes infected and it'll spread Zika to the next dude it bites.

I think it's full of crap. Why?