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Monday, April 18, 2016

How Team Koopa Escaped Rio — Part 2

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A fight... and intrigue.

I left you guys in a cliffhanger, didn't I? I bet you're wondering what happened next.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, I'm talking about my storytelling regarding what exactly happened to Team Koopa when we were trapped in Rio de Janeiro, after Brazilian officials determined that me, King Dad, Bowser Jr., Larry, Wendy, and Roy all had the Zika virus.

You can and should read Part 1 of that here, or else this might not make sense.

With that bit of introduction out of the way, it's time to dive right into the action! Let's see, where we left off, this was happening:
Ludwig Von Koopa New Super Mario Bros. U shell attack Zazz Sonic Lost World
Ludwig charging in his shell straight towards Zazz.
The weather at this time has gotten quite... fierce.

“MY PHONE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!” Bowser Jr. cried. He was still ignoring what was going on, now fixated on how he could no longer be fixated on the screen of his phone after he broke it.

Zazz got out his table tennis racket from pants, and swatted Ludwig's shell at the Rio de Janeiro International Airport security officers. The guards were punctured by the spikes from Ludwig's shell, as Ludwig quickly pushed himself off of the guards and on his feet. Ludwig didn't pay the officers any heed. They're worthless nondescript humans, after all. 

“What are you doing here, Zika thing?!” Ludwig asked.

“Huh? Me?! Gahaha! Practicing tennis! I have every RIGHT to be here!” Zazz snorted. “What's this about Zika?”

“You're a public health hazard! Worst of all, you've infected me AND my family! I'm going to vanquish your grotesque figure!” Ludwig declared. “...Wish I had a magic wand with me. King Dad should've let us bring it to the human world! Well...I can still do THIS!”

Ludwig shot out three fireballs at Zazz. Zazz, however, slammed each one back at Ludwig, who jumped and ducked away. The fireballs lit the local parks and grassy areas aflame. Not that anyone present, except for maybe the airport security guards, cared about any collateral damage in Rio de Janeiro.

“Wh-Why didn't your racket burn to a crisp? It should be done for!” Ludwig gasped.

“Gahahaha! You're priceless! PRICELESS! Better a blue-haired punk than a blue-butt punk!” Zazz giggled.

Ludwig tried to stare Zazz down, ineffectively. “I want an answer!”

Zazz jumped up and down. “Oooh, you're PERSISTENT! Okay, it's not a regular tennis racket! Happy? It's fortified and extra strong! Just like me!”

“It ain't standard issue? And you PLAY with that thing? That's not fair. That's CHEATING.” Ludwig yelled. He turned to the clueless Bowser Jr. and whacked the boy on his head. Ludwig whispered, “Take notes, Junior. We should've thought of that ourselves. Bring our own tools next time.”

Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games Ludwig Von Koopa versus Zazz table tennis game
Ludwig's paddle is an honest, actual paddle. Zazz's has the paddle-equivalent of steroids. Its owner is probably on them, too.

“I don't care! Deal with it! Get good!” Zazz taunted.

Bowser Jr. whined, “Ludwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig! I'm sick of this guy and I'm only now listening! Make him go away!”

“...You're both pretty annoying. Why don't you go annoy one another?” Ludwig said, visibly frustrated.

Ludwig shoved Bowser Jr. in front of Zazz, who stuck out his tongue at the young Koopa prince. Bowser Jr. freaked out, turned around, and jumped backwards to send his spiked shell against Zazz's tongue. Zazz shrieked.

“...Yeah, I'd be annoyed if that happened to me, too. Maybe that's a good idea for what I ought to do to Yoshi.” Ludwig muttered.

Ludwig pulled Bowser Jr. off of Zazz and dragged him away, but not before confiscating Zazz's tennis paddle.

“We were SUPPOSED to find the Team Mario gym and all we found was this creep! You think Larry, Roy, and Wendy found Team Sonic's gym by now?” Ludwig asked Bowser Jr.

“Hey, wait! I asked you not to forget about ussssh!” The security guards complained.

Ludwig sighed. “We're not even the bad guys here! Go do something with that pink guy! He's the freak!”

The human security guards from the airport looked at Ludwig and Bowser Jr., and then at Zazz. Both sets of characters looked like freaks from out of this world.

“Stop looking clueless! You heard wot I said! Go. Do. Something. With that pink guy!” Ludwig demanded, giving up his emphatic way of talking midway through the last part.

Ludwig and Bowser Jr. scurried off, leaving Zazz massaging his tongue in front of several stunned security suits.

“Now, we need to find Team Mario already!” Ludwig said to Bowser Jr.

“My phone broke, though! I don't know what to doooooooooo!” Bowser Jr. cried, pounding his little fists against the non-spiky parts of Ludwig's shell.

Ludwig and Bowser Jr. decided to return to the airport to King Bowser Koopa. They discussed the day's events, the encounter with Zazz, the security guards, and the missing Team Mario gym.

“DON'T FORGET MY PHONE BROKE!” Bowser Jr. cried.

Bowser did not seem amused at all, and only vaguely interested. Something was on the King's mind, but Ludwig didn't know what. And still doesn't.

Roy, Wendy, and Larry came in. They seemed exhausted, and even a little... disheveled. They collapsed in front of the other Koopas that were already in the airport.

“Wh-What happened to them?!” Ludwig asked.

Obviously, he didn't get an answer from the Koopas who would know the answer, for they were unconscious.
The other Koopas decided to sleep, as well, and see what new adventures Monday would bring, as Sunday drew to a close. First on the agenda for Monday? Figure out what happened to Larry, Roy, and Wendy!

Looks like there will be a Part 3 after this. What do you think could've happened? Will all of these mysteries be solved by the end of this series, or will that require that Ludwig actually know all of the answers because the narration is from his perspective? Do you think Ludwig knows all of the answers? Do you think he even knows SOME of them, or do you believe he's all-around clueless?

Read Part 3 of the narrative here!
And after that, you should read Part 4 here.
Don't forget about Part 5! That's important.
Part 6 is critical reading. Why? It's the last part.

Just for some background: Ludwig had already defeated Zazz in table tennis during training.


  1. Question.
    What the literal fuck is this?

    1. Did you read Part 1?

      This is a continuation of that.

    2. After reading part 2, not sure if I want to read part 1...

    3. I'm disappointed you don't know the sequential order of numbers.

      “You can and should read Part 1 of that here, or else this might not make sense.”
      How'd you read Part 2 and just skip over that?

    4. No one does things in order. :|

    5. I know of people who read the ending for books as the first thing or near-first thing they read.

      It's a tragedy.

    6. Some people want to get to the point.

    7. Well, the point is that, one way or another, the whole Koopa family gets out of Rio.

      This series is for people who wanna know the specifics.

    8. I guess if your entire staff leaves, you have to make a fictional family. :\

    9. 'scuse me?

      Anyway, Part 1 is loads more self-referential.

    10. I mean.
      They're just on a
      Really long vacation.

    11. "Literally just hosted."
      >last month.

    12. Our time horizons are a lot different than yours. >_>


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