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Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee/Pikachu Really Does Suck (Demo)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You can decide by the end if this is just confirmation bias or I make genuine points.

Ever since its announcement, I've had a very negative slant towards Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee!. Then I went ahead and basically used series director Junichi Masuda's comments about Pokémon: Let's Go as an indication that he's jumped the Sharpedo. Then we ignored its release day and haven't mentioned it since, except the obligatory mention that it's a 10-million seller.

I'm pretty sure that, for my part (can't speak for the other staffers but this likely holds true for them as well), I wasn't going to mention Pokémon: Let's Go ever again except for the release of the next Pokémon mainline RPG for the Nintendo Switch. In what capacity that would be in would depend on if I like that next game or not.

And then they released a free demo of Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee! (as well as Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu!, but I assume that's the same content) on the eShop last week. I played it.

I didn't like it. Here's why.

Monday, February 18, 2019

Yoshi's Crafted World's Train-Building and Cow-Murdering Philosophies

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Yoshi's Crafted World demo makes a perfect KoopaTV discussion piece.

With the proposed Green New Deal putting high-speed trains and farting cows back on the public mind, Nintendo released a demo of Yoshi's Crafted World on the Nintendo eShop, following last week's Nintendo Direct.

On KoopaTV, we have trains and cows on the mind all the time, so this is topically appropriate. Plus, I have very strong opinions on the Yoshi franchise.

We already knew from Nintendo's E3 2017 (back when Yoshi's Crafted World was called “Yoshi 2018”... whoops, that slipped) that cows and Moo Moo Meadows Milk play a big role in the world. Let's examine just what that role is, how trains go into it, and our critical commentary on all of that.

Friday, February 15, 2019

9th Place on Tetris 99; and Other Tetris Things

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I don't like Tetris.

Once upon a time, a year ago, I was asked in a request to write about Tetris. I never did, since I dislike Tetris, and I was planning on interviewing someone associated Tetris to fulfill that request. She agreed, and then bailed on me. After repeated requests. So I never planned to write about Tetris ever again.

Suddenly, the Nintendo Direct from two days ago introduced this releasing-after-the-Direct game, Tetris 99, or as we called it first (before anyone else), “Tetris Battle Royale.” Free for anyone with a Nintendo Switch Online subscription, which is everyone on the KoopaTV staff thanks to our family group.

It's a VS. Tetris game (the kind where if you get combos you get to dump trash on other people's boards), but there are 99 players. Not 100. But 99. You probably don't have to worry about 98 other people ganging up on you, though. Like other battle royales, there's a large enough space of possibility that people are concerned with one another but probably not you. Just know you'll get some trash blocks and more trash blocks the more you play.

I wouldn't say there's that much direct interaction between players, then. Or maybe there is and I just don't know what I'm doing.

Tetris 99 stats screen Nintendo Switch
I've played Tetris 99 for over 15 minutes, so I'm obviously quite qualified to write a whole article about it.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Everything We Know About Town For Nintendo Switch After A Couple Of Nintendo Directs

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The game's plot is about a secret, much like everything else about it.

The previous Nintendo Direct, the Nintendo Direct in September 2018, introduced a new GAME FREAK title for the Nintendo Switch named Town. Yesterday's Nintendo Direct didn't mention Town at all, to the chagrin of literally no one. There's a certain segment of the population that was expecting news about a different sort of town, one in the Animal Crossing vein, and they're quite upset. But GAME FREAK's Town? Nah.

...Well, except me, because I'm interested in what GAME FREAK's non-Pokémon designers are doing after the success of Pocket Card Jockey. So here's the 44 second-trailer of Town from 5 months ago, and all we know from it:

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

KoopaTV's February 13, 2019 Nintendo Direct Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Enthusiasm lacking.

I already did much of my introduction to this log within the reaction log below for the Nintendo Direct of February 13, 2019. First Nintendo Direct of the year.

In attendance are myself, Rawk, Wendy, and non-KoopaTV-staffer-but-friend Ryu, or MarioSun90. For a while, the Direct was appealing to his specific tastes... and then it changed.

Please feel free to watch the Nintendo Direct as we live-react to it. Here's the embed, but the optimal thing is to open it in another window and compare our reactions (per the time stamps) with the video's time-stamp.

Nintendo Direct February 13 2019 preview
Fire Emblem: Three Houses was the headliner of this Direct, but let's just say that this website doesn't care.
But don't take the above-the-fold's word for it. Read the whole reaction log and confirm for yourself!

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

The CAPCOM Store Grand Opening!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring no Ace Attorney sellable items. (Not yet.)

Just so we don't get confused by similarly-titled grand opening store articles, the CAPCOM Store is a digital storefront selling all things CAPCOM—merchandise and games. Plus, there is a membership rewards program, which is sort of like what Club Nintendo used to be. (Nothing compared to the free KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, though!)

It just opened. Grand opening! 

Let's see what's on the CAPCOM Store. Fortunately, CAPCOM put together this awesome group artwork of their major franchises to represent the store:

CAPCOM Store Grand Opening Dragon's Dogma Monster Hunter Resident Evil Street Fighter Ace Attorney Devil May Cry
From back row to middle row to front row, left to right:
Grigori (Dragon's Dogma), Rathalos (Monster Hunter);
Arisen (Dragon's Dogma), Ada Wong (Resident Evil 2), Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil 2), Zombie Cop (Resident Evil 2), Claire Redfield (Resident Evil 2),
Ken (Street Fighter V), Ryu (Street Fighter V), Chun-Li (Street Fighter V), Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney), Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney), V (Devil May Cry 5), Dante (Devil May Cry 5), GreatSword (Monster Hunter World);
Mega Man (Mega Man), Roll (Mega Man), Nero (Devil May Cry 5), Palico (Monster Hunter World).

There's just one problem with that artwork, compared to what's in the store.

Monday, February 11, 2019

The New 2019 Three-Pillar Nintendo Management Policy

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Resource allocation. And hopes and dreams.

Back around 2003–2005, Nintendo had a three pillar strategy. The Nintendo GameCube, the console business, was the first pillar. The Game Boy Advance, the handheld business, was the second pillar. And the Nintendo DS, this weird gimmicky handheld thing with two screens, was the third pillar.

They called the Nintendo DS the third pillar because if it failed, the handheld business could still live on in the Game Boy line. The fate of the DS was very uncertain, after all, and when it launched, it had weird experimental games rather than the hardcore epics that defined the early-mid 2000s. Gamers were a select, nerdy group of people who were threatened by casuals coming in from the PlayStation 2's DVD player, and the likes of Jack Thompson and Hillary Clinton trying to ban videogames.

Eventually, Nintendo collapsed their second pillar, made the DS their handheld line, and transformed the GameCube into the Wii. Two pillars, and Nintendo was the one bringing the casuals in by redefining the image of the gamer.

That was a long time ago. It's 2019 now, and Nintendo's three pillars are now, according to Nintendo's recently-released management policy outline that came after their financial results for nine-months into the year ending March 2019...

Friday, February 8, 2019

After a Week of Pancakes vs. Waffles Articles, Ludwig Picks...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Even if I can't eat them, I need to join a Splatfest team.

This has certainly been one of the more interesting weeks in KoopaTV history, and it ends tonight: From publishing to Saturday night is another Splatoon 2 Splatfest: Pancakes vs. Waffles. If you didn't know that, you have not been paying attention to the site, because the first four days of the week have revealed a very divided KoopaTV.

Here's the gist. I have Celiac Disease, so I can't eat gluten without my intestines getting screwed up. Gluten is a protein that you'll find associated with certain grains—in this instance, wheat. Wheat is the primary ingredient of pancakes and waffles. That makes it a bit difficult for me to answer this Splatfest question posed by Pearl and Marina:

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Pancakes vs. Waffles Pearl Marina stealth dessert better breakfast food
“Which stealth dessert is the better breakfast food? Pancakes or waffles?”
Unlike pizza, I don't seek out gluten-free options for pancakes or waffles. (I just went to have a gluten-free pizza today. Pricey, but scrumptious.) Therefore, I don't know how to approach the Splatfest question, so I asked the staff to answer it for me. The staff spent all week offering their arguments. Here's a recap:

Team Pancakes:
  1. Stacey Abrams
  2. Kamek
Team Waffles:
  1. Wendy O. Koopa
  2. RawkHawk2010
(I should note that Stacey Abrams is not a KoopaTV staff member, but she still got her argument in during her response to the State of the Union.)

I still need to pick a team since the Splatfest does start tonight. I'm going to go through everyone's arguments and come to a decision for myself.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Cakes in the Pan

By KAMEK - Cakes in the Pan

Who would have thought it would come to this?

With great trepidation I write this article. Not because I want to, but because I have to.

Then again that's the only reason I write. The power of pancakes has compelled me to come to you today.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Pancakes vs. Waffles Pearl P-A-N-C-A-K-E-S zoom-in
And what a terrible power it is...
(I'm also writing because Ludwig is allergenically unable to write about the Pancakes vs. Waffles Splatoon 2 Splatfest.)

I don't believe I have to explain pancakes to you. The universally acclaimed breakfast dish is a staple of multiple cultures (check out Wikipedia) AND that includes video game culture.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Culture Does Not Make Waffles -- Waffles Make Culture

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Rawk Does Not Make Articles...Except Sometimes.

So there's a "Splatfest" coming up. Something about waffles and pancakes. Something about which one is better. Something Ludwig is unable to make judgment on because of an incurable illness (one a Borginian cocoon won't fix) which has led to other KoopaTV staffers taking this batter matter into their own hands.

Let's begin.


Splatoon 2 Splatfest pancakes vs. waffles Marina stand firm adversity holding ground
I don't know about all that...but more so than pancakes, yes.
(At least Marina isn't a waffler about being a waffler.)

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

KoopaTV Live Reactions: SOTU 2019 (and Stacey Abrams rebuttal)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The State of the Union 2019, and the state of pancakes vs. waffles?

Contrary to the parenthesis in the title of the article, we've almost always covered the opposition party's rebuttal statement during the State of the Union (delivered by the President of the United States of America). We just wanted to put special emphasis on failed Democratic candidate for Georgia governor, Stacey Abrams, and her rebuttal to President Donald John Trump.

In fact, here's a link that will warp you right to where she starts, because she has a different opinion to yesterday's article about waffles. Stacey Abrams is notable for being compared to Aunt Jemima, the pancake-making legend, in an election robocall. Thus, she's in the best position to offer thoughts on this.

Featured in this reaction log are myself, Rawk, Kamek, and Witch Princess.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Waffles are Absolutely The BEST FOOD EVER

By WENDY O. KOOPA - Captain of Team Waffle

Ludwig asked me to write this because he told me that he was was unqualified because of his dieting reasons. (Suuure. You haven't bowed down to the awesomeness that is THE WAFFLE.) The other reason was that there's this Splatoon 2 Splatfest thingy. I dunno what that is aside from the battle of the breakfast thing between pancakes and waffles. I was told I would have waffles and waffles I shall get.

The waffle is the most divine, absolute breakfast food you can ever get your hands on. I'm here to convince you to join the cult.

Friday, February 1, 2019

KoopaTV's January 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Look! I got the 2019 in there correctly!

What an incredibly quick month January 2019 was! And the question on all of your minds is... did KoopaTV get off to at least a decent start for 2019? Let's find out and get right into it.

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of January 2019

Every month in the newsletter, we give the best KoopaTV experiences (articles) from the month the newsletter is about. Everything published on KoopaTV is fantastic, free content that is worth your time investment, but we just like giving some extra attention to some of our super-favourites. Here is the January 2019 list, in chronological order:
  1. Phoenix Wright Impersonator Arrested For Poisoning—Exclusive Fight Footage Inside! — Phoenix Wright and Furio Tigre have an intense fight, with a court battle and the very question of identity on the line. KoopaTV has exclusive footage of that fight, so we're the best source of information on that.
  2. Splatoon 2 Family vs. Friends Splatfest: White Ink Was A Bad Idea  — Splatoon players have been clamouring for over three and a half years now. They got it in the Family vs. Friends Splatfest... and it was an atrocious undertaking. Ludwig explains why.
  3. What Is A Good Game Purchase? — Wendy O. Koopa cares a lot about her coins, so she wrote up some tips from her experience about the criteria that make up a good videogame purchase.
  4. Irrationality: Gillette and So-Called “Toxic Masculinity” — There was a very controversial advertisement that shaving & grooming company Gillette released, and KoopaTV felt the need to provide a unique take on it. Packed with gaming references to justify the article's existence on a gaming site.
  5. Booyah! Is Significant. Booyah! Back In Splatoon 2 — Yet another piece of superb Splatoon 2 content this month, this time about the very important “Booyah!” phrase that's so prevalent in Inkopolis culture.