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Wednesday, July 17, 2019

The So-Called Nintendo Switch Pro (New Battery)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Wait, doesn't this invalidate the Switch Lite?

There are way too many gaming media outlets out there. Besides making it hard for the really good ones to stand out (like KoopaTV), that also has the side-effect that there is approximately a 1:1 (or maybe even a 2:1) relationship between gaming outlets and pages one can stalk for information. Some outlets stalk ESRB or other ratings board filings. Other outlets spend their days refreshing various patent and trademark office applications around the world. (See the bottom of the reaction log for that—it's the closest thing on KoopaTV to referencing that phenomenon because I've done a good job not doing that.)

Personally, I spend my days checking out when Ace Attorney games are on sale. (On Nintendo systems, that stops tomorrow.) 

Today's article, however, is brought to you by the people who apparently stalk the Nintendo Switch Technical Specs nintendo.com page. There's no dramatic change to the page... Until you notice this bit describing the Nintendo Switch's battery life:

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Remind Me To Bring A Plushie To My Next Dentist Appointment

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I need something to hold tight.

Sometimes when I write for KoopaTV, I discuss some of my... vulnerabilities. One of those vulnerabilities is my fear of dentists. I've written that dentists are terrifying and have torture tools. It's like being on the receiving end of my forward-smash in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate... for an hour. They have drills. Painful stuff. Plus, there's the water gun, the really bright light right in your eye, and the bizarrely-reclined chair.

What am I supposed to do with my limbs during this? I'm not chained down or anything. But giving into my instincts and slashing the face off my oppressor—that I (through my insurance) am paying—doesn't make sense. (Though since I'm paying them, maybe they shouldn't be so scary to their client.)

What if I get to hold something with my claws? Tightly? At present, I just interlock my right and left claws and hold on for dear life, sometimes to my own scales. What if I brought a plushie with me instead?

Speaking of plushies, I just got these in the mail from the official Nintendo online store, delivered by UPS. I think UPS has redeemed themselves by now, by the way, from the last time I ordered merchandise from there.


Toon Zelda Bowser Koopa official plush plushies
Left: Toon Princess Zelda plushie, based on The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
(Not in picture: My Toon Link plushie from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, which I've had for years.)
Right: Lord Bowser plushie.

Of those two plushies, I'd bring Princess Zelda. She's quite cuddly and could calm me down considerably during the dental cleaning and cavity search. (Currently cavity-free, by the way.)

Lord Bowser, although an amazing man and it being long past time that I owned non-amiibo merchandise of him (it was a huge gap made obvious in my Team Tortoise article), is difficult to actually hug. He's tough and not snuggly, just like the real King Koopa has been with me ever since Bowser Jr. was born.

...



Ludwig had a dental appointment the day of this article being written, so his next one is Thursday, January 23, 2020. Please remind him before that to bring a plushie, though he may bring one not pictured here because of the risk of bodily and oral fluids from the dental procedures possibly getting on the accompanying plush. Best the plush not be part of any royal family out there, in that case. If you have any better ways of coping with dental appointments, please do share them in the comments section.


This article appears to suggest that Ludwig would like the dentist more if he WAS chained to the chair...

Monday, July 15, 2019

Prime Day 2019 (and Associated Sales at Competing Sites)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Big shrug. But there's a positive at the end.

You may remember that last year, Amazon was just littered in dog pictures because the site kept crashing during Prime Day 2018, and for whatever reason they associated mutts with error messages. I suppose both of those are things I like to avoid.

Anyway, once again, Amazon is hosting Prime Day, now Prime Day 2019, I guess out of obligation to do this annually. Does anyone really care about it anymore? Well, several competing retailers have their own deals right now, as if it's a summer Black Friday. Quite frankly, they're all kind of bleh (at least for gaming), with the usual bulk of the deals going to headsets and accessories. ...Well, I am in the market for a new headset, I guess... I still don't think I'm going to buy anything.

I got a big chuckle out of Pokémon Let's Go, Eevee! being 50% off, however. (Pokémon Let's Go, Pikachu! is a mere 25% off.) 

Amazon Prime Day 2019 Pokémon Let's Go Pikachu Eevee 50% off deal sale
I wouldn't recommend either game, by the way.
But just funny that they're treated differently.
 
Moving out of Amazon and to GameStop, here's something I'd recommend even less:

Friday, July 12, 2019

Final Decision in the Chaos vs. Order Final Splatocalypse

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Possibly affecting the world in Splatoon 3?

You may remember the Splatoon 2 World Championship 2019 that Nintendo hosted as one of their pre-E3 2019 tournament events.

You may then remember by the end of that tournament, Nintendo announced the final Splatfest that takes place next week starting Thursday July 18 (coupled with the last content updates), referred to as the Splatocalypse. Scary name... with a familiar theme to long-time KoopaTV readers. Check out the question:


Splatoon 2 Splatfest Splatocalypse question world of chaos or order to live in Pearl Marina
“What kind of world do you wanna live in?
A world of chaos? Or a world of order?”

I already wrote about this exact topic over five years ago in an article entitled, /v/ Vs. NeoGAF: Chaos Vs. Order. It is just as relevant today, but just replace NeoGAF with ResetEra for a contemporary point of view. (Given NeoGAF's demise from relevance.) If you want to fully understand my opinion on chaos vs. order, and why I'm on Team Chaos, read that article. Truly, my thoughts haven't budged a bit. If I were to write that article today, I'd use the exact same Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn comparison that I did back then.

If you still doubt the validity of that article to this Splatfest, check out this Splatoon 2 accessory:

Thursday, July 11, 2019

First Look (and Thoughts on) Nintendo Switch Lite

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Letting past Lite versions down. (It also can't switch.)

Once upon a time in mid-2006, Nintendo released and announced the Nintendo DS Lite, a hardware revision to the 2004-released Nintendo DS, around the international release of Brain Age. According to Nintendo,
The Nintendo DS Lite offers a smaller, sleeker package with a brighter screen, larger stylus, and a longer-lasting rechargeable battery than the original Nintendo DS. The unique game play features and wireless connectivity remain intact.”

Put another way, the DS Lite was a great improvement over the original, offering basically everything in the DS but better.

Skip 13 years later. Nintendo has just announced the Nintendo Switch Lite, releasing this September around the release of Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield. Here's the first look trailer, with my thoughts to follow:

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Perilous Pill Popping: A KoopaTV-Exclusive Investigation Into Dr. Mario

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We went deep into his practice and found startling things.

One of the most sympathetic lines of reasoning we Koopas have used since the beginning of our multi-decade quest to convince the universe of the diabolical and evil nature of Mario is to ask people to think through his medical profession. To all but his most unreasonable supporters, Dr. Mario makes no sense. Exactly how does a lazy dimwit plumber suddenly invent the Megavitamin and become a doctor overnight and start treating people without a medical education or training? Some have tried to rationalise Dr. Mario by claiming he's actually a different person entirely from Mario. That's... entirely false.

What's more, this whole narrative that Dr. Mario is curing diseases and is a hero for doing so by inventing the Megavitamins to subdue flu-causing Viruses is... also false. It's a fiction. In fact, the truth is significantly more sinister, and proves that Mario, no matter what profession he's pretending to be, is a villain of destructive ends.

Today (well, apparently it was actually yesterday despite official announcements indicating otherwise) Dr. Mario World released to the world of mobile devices on the Apple Store and Google Play. Many eyes are on it, including Koopa Kingdom's. In anticipation, King Bowser instructed the two Koopalings assigned to working on KoopaTV—myself and Wendy O. Koopa—to infiltrate Dr.  Mario's medical practice and find out what we could.

And so we did, as publicly shown by Wendy and Ludwig being the only Koopalings who appear as doctors in Dr. Mario World:

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Bowser vs. Mario Archery, Karate, Skateboarding in Tokyo 2020

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At least... it could happen.

Let's recall that Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020, or “Mario & Sonic at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games” as it may be called by someone who knows how English word-order works (it's unclear if Nintendo or SEGA are aware), is coming out in November 2019. (According to Nintendo's official website, the official title is the version where they don't know grammar.)

Courtesy of GameSpot, there's nearly five minutes of gameplay footage, and a lot of it shows off Lord Bowser versus that awful Mario. I'd like to share it to my readers, since you guys depend on KoopaTV for Olympics coverage.


Once you get past the part with Sonic and Dr. Eggman, you get to Lord Bowser displaying superior archery skills. Quite frankly, the controls for that remind me of the Wii all over again, and there's no way I'm getting the game if I had to use the Joy-Cons like that. (Well, I'm pretty sure there's no way I'm getting the game anyway, but...)

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 does have local multiplayer (up to 4 players) and online multiplayer (up to 8 players), so you and your whole Family Group can play these awful minigames together around the world. Not just in Tokyo... and not just in 2020. (Or 2019 when it releases.)

Maybe that's too harsh. Let me know if you can identify anything interesting from a purchase perspective in that GameSpot clip. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing inspiring about the sporting events’ gameplay, sound design (or music), and especially not the graphics.


Bowser character model Mario & Sonic Olympics Games Tokyo 2020 skateboarding eyes wide open
There's something... off about this character model.

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 Bowser archery supershot karate skateboarding tricks
Still, let's appreciate Lord Bowser displaying his superior talents in archery, karate, and skateboarding.
He's expanded his repertoire far past boxing and golfing.



While Lord Bowser is beating up plumbers in karate, his children are doing a deep investigation into the plumber's medical practice. Stick around for tomorrow for the report.


For an article of how Koopas of all kinds dominate sports, read this!
Here's the plumber's medical practice investigation.

Monday, July 8, 2019

Drednaw Likely Won't Evolve, But Will Be GIGANTAMAX!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (Let's hope the first four words of this headline won't be fake news.)

Consider this possibility: The Pokémon Company wasn't going to do constant news drops of Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield to avoid what happened to the Generation 7 main games. But then, all of the GAME FREAK bashing with the no-National Dex news made them adjust all of their plans, and now they're going to regularly putting out trailers with news like this until the mid-November launch:
 

The video title might say the game is being changed all they want with Gigantamaxing, but I don't think that's going to change the negative perception. Just look at the notable strength of that dislike bar. (Compare to the widely-positive reception of the sure-to-be-a-disgrace Pokémon Masters.)

Wait, Gigantamaxing? I know we discussed Dynamaxing a month ago, but what's Gigantamaxing? Well, while every Pokémon found in Galar (which is to say, every Pokémon coded in the game) can become huge with Dynamax and get access to stat buffs and special Z-like moves, only certain Pokémon species (likely Galar-introduced final-evolution-stage Pokémon... and maybe Charizard) can Gigantamax. In fact, you gotta be a special snowflake within that species to Gigantamax. Gigantamax Pokémon have access to a special species-unique “G-Max Move”, which is basically a species-exclusive Z-Move. (Which is already a concept that existed with moves like Mimikyu's Let's Snuggle Forever.) They also change forms, instead of just becoming resized. (Which is already a concept that existed with Mega Evolution.)

Friday, July 5, 2019

Koopa Kingdom Immigration Family Relocation Services

By KAMEK - Sharing our expertise to the people who need it.

Now, I've been carefully monitoring the border situation for some time. Having provided family and child relocation services ourselves, we've decided it's time to share our best practices for border relocating!

We at KoopaTV understand the value of family. I include extended family in that definition as well. This is especially true in our organization. Rawk and I may have our differences of opinion, but we still take time to share an amicable nod in the hallways of our Sierra Leone office building.

Rawk Hawk huh Glitz Pit dialogue cross arms
Relationships are all about communication you see.

The Koopa family relocation services are here to help the Trump administration and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez come together in a brand-new harmonious approach. The United States' current situation of child and family detention is simply unacceptable. If you're going to be taking in children, you absolutely cannot overextend yourself. I've compiled a small set of rules that we take into account with the placement of children and families in regards to our borders.

Thursday, July 4, 2019

The Samsung Conspiracy Against Dot-Organisations

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Down with dot-com advocacy!

Four years ago I bought and continually renewed the KoopaTV.org domain name, after we were on the unseemly koopatv.blogspot.com name. We became independent of the free domain and to a paid one. It's one of the best decisions I ever made for this website. We had a lovely music video to go with it too.

Unfortunately, not everyone has been supportive of the change. Take the smartphone industry, for example. I have a running theme of demeaning smartphones and their associated products as “mobile trash” or related terms on KoopaTV, as recently as yesterday.

Makes sense that they'd strike back on KoopaTV... by trying to prevent people from coming here. How do they do that? Manipulating the very input methods that billions of consumers use to get to websites. Observe, from the Samsung smartphone under my control:

Samsung Galaxy virtual keyboards .com button Swype Android smartphone mobile phone
Notice the .com buttons on the default Samsung keyboard, and the Swype keyboard.

The Samsung smartphone comes pre-installed with two keyboards. One is Samsung's, and one is Swype's. They both have an automatic .com button when inputting an address. (As opposed to the .com being an auto-fill or auto-correct function... and clearly, those functions have very strange suggestions for KoopaTV. Painkillers?)

The problem with an automatic .com button is that KoopaTV's domain is KoopaTV.org. That's obviously incompatible with a .com button. And while this impacts many other existing organisations (as opposed to commercial enterprises), it of course impacts KoopaTV. If you're wondering, KoopaTV.com is under the control of domain trolls for stupidly high amounts of money that's way outside our already-strained budget.

I wasn't able to test other smartphone manufacturers’ keyboard set-ups—I asked some Apple users and one of them said their default iPhone virtual keyboard doesn't do this—but KoopaTV's resident tech expert Kamek told me that this kind of .com button is “common practice.” Let's take his word for it, because that best plays into the KoopaTV-is-a-victim narrative I'm trying to portray here.

Independence... is hard. 


KoopaTV doesn't have to be independent all alone (despite that being what the word implies)... the site has you, readers, to help it survive and fight back against these dot-com tech giants! Spread the dot-org word to your friends and advocate the better top-level domain! (Advocating for KoopaTV.org itself and not just the .org part would be great, too.)

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

I'll Be a Pokémon Master Without Pokémon Masters

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm passing on Pasio.

Gee, what filler article can I toss out there the night before Independence Day? Oh, while we were covering the Democrat presidential primary debates, The Pokémon Company International (TPCI) released this animated trailer (with a few snippets of actual game information at the end) about Pokémon Masters, which you may recall is the mobile-only game revealed at the end of that bad-in-hindsight Pokémon Direct in May. They also put out a news release.



Obviously the first...six minutes or so of this trailer (including Ishihara from The Pokémon Company) is “not actual gameplay” so there's really nothing to discuss about it. At the end, Yu Sasaki from DeNA discusses the artificial island of Pasio where Pokémon Trainers across the world come to fight each other. Each trainer only gets one Pokémon, and the trainer-Pokémon combination is called a Sync Pair. You participate in 3v3 Sync Pair battles with some version of the Active Time Battle system. There are also Sync Moves (presented as unique Z-moves), and supportive Trainer Moves akin to Warrior Skills in Pokémon Conquest—though the official site news release describes this as a franchise first.

Pokémon Masters is designed to be a free-to-play, casual experience with in-app purchases. I think it's a safe bet that all of those Sync Pair combinations are going to be purchasable, directly or through random distribution packs. There's allegedly a story and lots of instances of dialogue, though I'm going to guess it's underwhelming and stupid.

Pokémon Masters animated trailer Hugh Silver Wally rivals
What conversation did Hugh, Silver, and Wally have with one another that'd get them to pose together?
It's not like Rival is an officially-recognised title like Pokémon Professors, Gym Leaders, Team Rocket members, family members, or Frontier Brains.

Pokémon Masters is releasing in the summer of 2019, which could be any day from now to September.

According to the official website FAQ, “the app is not compatible with offline play.” Yeah, screw that. Last I checked, that's supposed to be a deal-breaker.


Pokémon Masters is like the opposite of Pokémon GO in terms of focus. Masters is all about battling with Pokémon your team already has and there is no evidence of catching new Pokémon. Pokémon GO was all about captures, and only later were trainer battles added. (At least, that's what I've read.) But as far as I can tell, they have a striking similarity: they're both appalling mobile games that dumb down what the franchise is supposed to represent.


Disclaimer: Even if Pokémon Masters was a perfectly wonderful and traditional (or even innovative—both are accepted) Pokémon title, just the fact that it's a smartphone game would cause Ludwig to ostracise and criticise it. Are you a sucker easily taken in by animated trailers playing to nostalgia, or are you smarter than that and know to be cautious of any free-to-play mobile game with in-app purchases? Let KoopaTV know in the comments section.

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

The Wright Anything Competition; and Ace Attorney Trilogy Steam Sale

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Take that?

Way back, a week after my write-up of my encounter with Phoenix Wright and then CAPCOM at E3 2019 (but not at the same time), CAPCOM launched the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy “Wright Anything” Competition, henceforce known as the Wright Anything Competition. It's one of the few competitions that people from Quebec can enter. If you submit an original (made specifically for the contest, which invalidates the massive wealth of Ace Attorney content already existing on KoopaTV.org) artwork, cosplay, or video to Twitter with #AATWrightAnything, a “panel of CAPCOM judges” will pick their favourites and get Ace Attorney merchandise. You have until July 5, 2019, 23:59 Pacific Time.

In the morning of June 23, I sent an e-mail to contests@capcom.com, which the contest's official rules state...
“20   Contact. If you have any questions regarding the Competition Rules, you may contact us in writing at contest@capcom.com.”
Here's the e-mail:

Monday, July 1, 2019

KoopaTV's June 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Big seismic tonal shifts.

Let's look, overall, at what happened during June 2019 here on KoopaTV. The first half of the month was us planning this big field trip as a staff to Los Angeles, California, during E3 2019. By the end of the month, we totally shifted focus and now we're covering presidential politics. (...Well, not a total shift of focus... you won't get more of that until the end of July. I think.)

Anyway, observe how that plays out over June 2019 with the top recommended experiences:

The Top 5 Recommended KoopaTV Experiences of June 2019


Behold the chronologically-ordered recommended KoopaTV experiences from the month—though everything on the site is worth reading.
  1. Government Regulation of Pay-to-Win and Loot Boxes: Good Idea Or No? — Ludwig reads through and breaks down Senator Josh Hawley's lootbox bill section-by-section, and analyses if it's a good idea or not for the industry... and America.
  2. Your Majesty and My Majesty: Unicorns vs. Narwhals Splatfest! — Ludwig ranks the majestic qualities of these two mythical (to him) creatures, the unicorn and the narwhal.
  3. Phoenix Wright vs. E3 2019: Drugs, Detainment, and Discounts —What exactly was Ludwig (and the other staffers) doing during E3 2019 if not covering every moment? Read the epic tale of Ludwig's encounter with Phoenix Wright and the gaming companies at E3 2019.
  4. You're Invited to the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Online Open June 2019 Tournament! — During E3 Weeks 2019, Nintendo announced a new Super Smash Bros. Ultimate online tournament hosted by Battlefy. Ludwig writes about what participants could expect at this tournament.
  5. Gaming Disorder Official in ICD-11. Good! — Contrary to many gamers who don't think things through, and the Entertainment Software Association who knows what they're doing, Ludwig is supportive of gaming addiction being officially recognised.
I suppose I should disclaim that my choice of that tournament article was influenced by Battlefy themselves endorsing it and sending me gifts, which you can see yourself here. ...The actual contents of the article was completely my opinion and uncoordinated with them, though.

Friday, June 28, 2019

June 27 2019 Democrat Presidential Primary Debate 1, Night 2 ANALYSIS!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A very painful experience. But at least it was energetic.

Welcome to KoopaTV's coverage of the first 2020 Democrat presidential primary debate... night two! (Read the analysis of night one's debate here.)

This time, the competing Democrats are Marianne Williamson, John Hickenlooper, Andrew Yang, Pete Buttigieg, Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Kamala Harris, Kirsten Gillibrand, Michael Bennet, and Eric Swalwell. Fortunately for my sanity, these candidates were collectively more energetic than the first night, and the two hours of misery actually went by a lot faster. You know, in feeling-time. Not literal time.
 
(If you need an explanation about these debates or who the candidates are, check out our brand new 2020 Presidential Debate Coverage Index.

They covered a wide range of topics including why President Donald John Trump is bad, climate change, abolishing private health insurance, children in cages, getting rid of guns, and busing racial minority children everyday for hours to get to and from school decades ago. All while discriminating against the elderly.



Thursday, June 27, 2019

June 26 2019 Democrat Presidential Primary Debate 1, Night 1 ANALYSIS!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A mostly painful experience with few bright spots.

Welcome to KoopaTV's coverage of the first 2020 Democrat presidential primary debate... night one! (The debate happening tonight is still the first debate, but it'll be night two.) We have the distinct displeasure (and occasional honour) of having heard from Bill de Blasio, Tim Ryan, Julián Castro, Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Beto O'Rourke, Amy Klobuchar, Tulsi Gabbard, Jay Inslee, and John Delaney across two hours of identity politics, commercial breaks, and microphone errors that lead to technical issues and a very confused Rachel Maddow.

(If you need an explanation about these debates or who the candidates are, check out our brand new 2020 Presidential Debate Coverage Index.

(If you're looking for analysis of Night 2, click here. But Night 1's analysis is also crucial, because the best candidate is in this group.) 

They covered a wide range of topics including why President Donald John Trump is bad, climate change, abolishing private health insurance, potential war with Iran, LGBTQ+ people, gun violence,  illegal immigration, and why Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is bad.



Wednesday, June 26, 2019

KoopaTV's 2020 Presidential Debate Coverage Index

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - One central place containing the articles you probably want to avoid.

I have been getting feedback from this girl named No One, and she's been telling me, “Hey, KoopaTV, all of this gaming coverage recently is great, but where's the United States politics? You've been slacking on that lately. Can we get more coverage on the presidential race? I really value your opinion on this.”

Well, first of all, No One, my name is Ludwig and I run KoopaTV. KoopaTV isn't my name, though it is named after my family name, Koopa. And second of all, sure, I guess it's about time to do our civic duty.

Starting between now and November 2020, KoopaTV will try to give coverage on every official United States presidential debate, including any vice presidential debates. I say try, because we ragequit pretty quickly for the Democrats in 2016 (we didn't even make it to 2016). This time it should be different because of who is running, but... I don't know, if it gets really repetitive, I'll probably stop it.


Anyway, I'm going to set this up with debate list first, and then candidate list second. Yes, this time, I'm going to give a short description about who each of these candidates are (in alphabetical order). A big improvement from me assuming you follow politics and know who everyone is. Heck, I follow U.S. politics, and even I've never heard of some of these Democrats.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Devil May Cry Now Released on Nintendo Switch — Only $20

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hey, it's reasonable.

At the start of May, I wrote an article declaring that CAPCOM's stylish action game Devil May Cry would be releasing to Nintendo Switch (first time ever for a Nintendo platform) in the summer of 2019. Today, it's now on the Nintendo Switch mere days after the official start of summer, and for only $20. It's still digital-only and will remain so.

I actually got attacked by this kid on MeWe for expecting Devil May Cry to release for a lesser asking price than the $30 Devil May Cry HD Collection on other platforms, because he insisted CAPCOM was fraudulent, scammy, and exploitative for allowing Nintendo console owners to willingly engage in commerce for pretty fair prices. Guess he's an idiot for assuming the worst.


Devil May Cry Nintendo Switch available now for $19.99
MSRP of $19.99 on Nintendo Switch. Anything less than that would be...too low.

You're safe to take the advice I gave for the Nintendo Switch release of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy (which I later regretted due to the personal damage it does to Phoenix Wright's quality of life) and assume that CAPCOM will discount Devil May Cry by at least 20% by the end of the year in some manner of time-limited sale. Just in case $20 isn't low enough for you for this very classic action game.

I want to point attention to the “official web manual” that CAPCOM produced for this game on the official Devil May Cry site:

Monday, June 24, 2019

No Sword/Shield National Dex: What About The Spin-offs?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, a... poem of sorts at the end.

While I think the vapourware state of Town is the current biggest controversy regarding GAME FREAK at the moment, literally no one else cares about Town. In fact, you most likely disagree with me and think GAME FREAK's biggest controversy is the lack of a National Dex (more like an International Dex) in Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield. While I think Rotom becoming a smartphone is the biggest culprit in why there will not be a comprehensive Pokémon registry, most people seem to blame GAME FREAK being an incompetent development team and Junichi Masuda personally. ...And as someone who equates Masuda as the Pokémon version of Shigeru Miyamoto (that's a bad thing), I'm not going to try to defend GAME FREAK or Masuda.

Since I have nothing outrageous to add about GAME FREAK being bad at planning or lazy or that they shouldn't have announced Pokémon Home until after Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield released (because who is going to pay interest to the Nosepass running Pokémon Bank now?), my main concern isn't actually the Pokémon not being in the Galar National Dex. It's the increased chance of deleterious effects it may have on downstream spin-offs.

If a Pokémon won't even be programmed into the flagship Generation 8 game—keep in mind that previous games don't let you catch every Pokémon in-game but they're still in the code—what chance do they have of being in spin-offs based on Generation 8? Quite low.

Friday, June 21, 2019

Gaming Disorder Official in ICD-11. Good!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Videogame addiction ain't fiction.

In early January 2018, I wrote about how the World Health Organization would add a “gaming disorder” to the ICD-11 (International Classification of Diseases, 11th edition). If you're not familiar with what the ICD manual is all about, that article does a better job than other contemporary gaming outlets did at describing it, so check it out.

Now that it's mid-2019, I can report that they've done it. Gaming disorder is officially a thing, a child of “disorders due to addictive behaviours.” Here's the description of gaming disorder:
“Gaming disorder is characterized by a pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behaviour (‘digital gaming’ or ‘video-gaming’), which may be online (i.e., over the internet) or offline, manifested by:
  1. impaired control over gaming (e.g., onset, frequency, intensity, duration, termination, context);
  2. increasing priority given to gaming to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other life interests and daily activities; and
  3. continuation or escalation of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences. The behaviour pattern is of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning.
The pattern of gaming behaviour may be continuous or episodic and recurrent. The gaming behaviour and other features are normally evident over a period of at least 12 months in order for a diagnosis to be assigned, although the required duration may be shortened if all diagnostic requirements are met and symptoms are severe.”
Makes sense to me. But it's also very familiar. Compare it to the description of gambling disorder:

Thursday, June 20, 2019

You're Invited to the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Online Open June 2019 Tournament!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - May possibly be referred to as the Super Smash Bros Ultimate North America June Open 2019, depending on its mood.

You may remember I advertised the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate North America Open 2019 some months ago. That was the series of three tournaments that could get the winners an invitation to PAX East, where they competed to be the North America team in the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate World Championship 2019 3v3. ...Which Japan's team ultimately won.

At the end of the World Championship 2019 was an announcement that the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate North America June Open 2019 is open for registrations. I joined right away, since I personally had a good time with the three tournaments in the non-June Open 2019 when I wasn't fighting against a Pichu in the main bracket semi-finals. Pichu got nerfed after that, so I personally think I'm unstoppable.

But why should YOU join the tournament, and how is it different than the non-June Open 2019? Well, I'll give you the details and the rationale in this article. Plus, to add value, I'll share some TIPS!

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Why Is Cyberpunk 2077 So Anticipated?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's another “Ludwig displays how uncultured he is” article.

I took the advice of my staff and didn't look at social media during and right before E3 2019. Not only because I was a busy investigating Koopa (and then a jailed Koopa), but because of “leaks” that threatened the sanctity, sanity, and expectations of the viewing audience.

As a result, when Cyberpunk 2077 was being shown during the Microsoft E3 2019 conference, we... didn't really recognise it as something that was standout. Meanwhile, social media was exploding in activity over it

Keanu Reeves appearing at the conference for the game didn't affect anything for me or anyone else in the log. I just saw him as yet another Hollywood celebrity. I don't like celebrities. I don't even know what a “John Wick” is, but I thought it was a Game of Thrones character. (It's not.) Shows what I know. Keanu Reeves is not even portraying the main character of Cyberpunk 2077, and he can't be, since the main character is totally customisable and could even be a female. I really don't see what the big deal even is about him being on the game's staff. Keanu Reeves doesn't even play videogames, so why do gamers care what he thinks about them or what he does?


Cyberpunk 2077 Johnny Silverhand Keanu Reeves E3 2019 trailer
How is it featuring Keanu Reeves if he only appears for a few seconds at the very end of the trailer?
Isn't this whole thing just clickbait?

I didn't even remember that Cyberpunk 2077 was shown at the end of the Microsoft E3 2018, as the game that “hacked” the conference. Rawk seemingly didn't remember either, since he made the exact same Fallout 76 comment (2077 vs. 2076) both times. (In fact, he made it a third time while we were discussing the game tonight to prep for this article.) I had to find out that it was at E3 2018 from reading the game's Wikipedia article, and Cyberpunk 2077 apparently won awards at both E3 2018 and E3 2019.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Where Was Town At E3 2019? The True GAME FREAK Controversy

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No home if there's no town.

The Nintendo world is very unhappy right now over the state of Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield: Specifically that not every Pokémon will be coded into the game. Traditionally, even if a Pokémon isn't natively found in, say, Alola, you could still transfer/ship a Pokémon from a faraway region to an Alolan trainer. The Pokédex would recognise it. It'd work. Trainers could use any Pokémon discovered up to that point.

Galar is different. If it's not in the Pokédex, that's it. It's not allowed in the region.

I blame the Rotom Pokédex taking form as a smartphone instead of a real Pokédex—which in prior games have been designed based off of Nintendo handhelds. It's obviously a commentary on the superiority of a dedicated handheld gaming device versus the inferior experience offered by smartphones. Other people think it's a commentary on Brexit-inspired immigration efforts, but I'll leave the Brexit interpretations to Ubisoft and Watch Dogs: Legion.

I'll also leave further discussion about this to another article. (Or maybe I'll dodge it entirely and never write about it.)

I want to actually dedicate this article to discussing GAME FREAK's other Nintendo Switch title.

Town.

Monday, June 17, 2019

E3 2019: Company Conference Tier List

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My controversial and personal opinion not representing the KoopaTV staff.

Alright, this year's E3 2019 was a bit awkward in terms of KoopaTV coverage. You can see a bunch of missing spots in our E3 2019 Schedule since we did not cover every company's conference with a reaction log.

There was a very, VERY good reason for all of that which you can read in last Friday's narrative-for-an-article, here

I'm going to try to make that up to you, however. All-in-one E3 2019 coverage: Behold, the E3 2019 (real) company conference tier list! (AKA my way of never having to watch the PC Gaming Show, and not rating Devolver Digital.) For E3 2019, that leaves five companies. Here's my tier list from worst-to-best, that every other KoopaTV staffer disagrees with (and they, as well as you, are encouraged to write their own article or lengthy comment expressing that) along with my reasoning:

Friday, June 14, 2019

Phoenix Wright vs. E3 2019: Drugs, Detainment, and Discounts

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How I met Phoenix Wright for the first time, and ruined E3 2019.

If you are a regular reader of KoopaTV, you are probably wondering where I've been during the past several days of E3 Weeks 2019. Don't worry, the other KoopaTV staffers are wondering the same thing.

And if you're an irregular reader, you might be wondering why a gaming site's coverage of the Electronic Entertainment Expo, the biggest gaming event of the year with the most impactful news drop, was so... lacking this year.

It was all foretold before E3 began that KoopaTV's staff would be flying out to Los Angeles to look for Phoenix Wright, former ace attorney and now just a disbarred and struggling man. Coverage of E3 itself was a secondary consideration.

I managed to do it. I found Phoenix Wright. I talked with Phoenix Wright. I acted on behalf of Phoenix Wright. I'll tell you the full story of what happened this week. ...You'll find it quite interesting. I'll write it from a third-person perspective, similar to the How Team Koopa Escaped Rio series.

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Your Majesty and My Majesty: Unicorns vs. Narwhals Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's keep the word majesty meaningful.

You may be thinking, “Ludwig, why are you publishing about a Splatoon 2 Splatfest during E3 Weeks 2019?” Because I have no choice and Nintendo decided to have a Splatfest happen right when E3 ends. I have to write and publish coverage of this at some point before the 15th, so I picked Thursday, the designated Nintendo Treehouse Live: Indie Game Edition day. No one's going to whine for us not covering that, right?

This month's Splatfest is about two horned mythical/rare creatures: The unicorn and the narwhal.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest news more majestic creature Unicorn vs. Narwhal
Which creature is more majestic? The unicorn or the narwhal?

I had to do a lot of research for this Splatfest. You see, Pearl and Marina spent a lot of time discussing not the majestic attributes of the unicorn or the narwhal, but whether or not they exist. Allegedly, unicorns don't exist but narwhals do. Marina went into a tangent about how her landlord is a narwhal. Really uninformative banter from them overall that I had to supplement.

In my world, there is no such thing as a unicorn and there is no such thing as a narwhal. There's some ancient and non-living depictions of unicorn-like figures that signify they may have once existed (in the flesh or in someone's minds). By comparison, there's literally no mention of narwhals in the entire history of Koopa Kingdom, the Mushroom Kingdom, or anywhere else in Star World.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Nintendo Treehouse: Live @ E3 2019 Day 2: I AM ERROR

By KAMEK - Error.

I AM ERROR Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2019 The Legend of Zelda II Adventure of Link
I AM ERROR.
WE'RE EXPECTING SOME DIFFICULTIES.
NINTENDO TREEHOUSE: LIVE
WILL BE BACK SOON WITH MORE GAMEPLAY
AND INFORMATION YOU CAN'T GET
ANYWHERE ELSE. STICK AROUND!



Boss isn't even around for what Nintendo is doing with E3. The staff tried to watch Nintendo Treehouse: Live, got an error, and called it a day.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Nintendo Direct at E3 2019: KoopaTV's Live Reactions!

By WITCH PRINCESS - Time to awaken and react.

I  am back from a long slumber for this special occasion. And I'm also one of the staff members excited for this E3 2019 Direct!

Unfortunately, Ludwig went out on a search for Mr. Phoenix Wright, still hoping to get him here at E3 with us. Seriously, hope and pray that we find him! Wright needs to be in Smash!

I'll be covering Nintendo's thing, along with our good friend Ryu, RawkHawk2010 (towards the end), and Wendy (also towards the end).



Let's begin!

Monday, June 10, 2019

Square Enix E3 2019 Press Conference: KoopaTV's Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Finally, good things from this E3.

This E3 so far, despite wiping out some deadweight conferences from companies we don't like, hasn't been all that great.

Tonight, we placed our hopes in Square Enix to save E3 2019, which is historically a risky proposition. Here joining me (hi I was out during the day and will keep being out for the rest for BUSINESS) are RawkHawk2010, Wendy O. Koopa (for the first and probably only time this E3) and non-staffer Ryu. Note how Wendy and Ryu state at the start that they can't stick around for the conference...

You should also check out the entire E3 2019 schedule here.

[5:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.twitch.tv/squareenix

@everyone

[5:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Classic Final Fantasy music.

[5:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Already great sign.

[5:52 PM] RawkHawk2010: Uh

[5:53 PM] Ryu: FFV music

[5:53 PM] Ryu: The only FFV song people remember

[5:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: Let's not act like Battle at the Big Bridge isn't a meh song.

[5:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's great.

[5:53 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: Dude, doing Battle on the Big Bridge is freaking amazing

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Bethesda Conference and Devolver Direct: E3 2019 Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Says the audience.)

Let's end E3 2019's Sunday with a conference dedicated to a screwed up audience and fanbase at Bethesda, and a pseudo-conference created by a screwed up marketing team at Devolver Digital. That's not to say Bethesda doesn't have weird staff members—most the article pictures are dedicated to them. This is also the last day of E3 Weeks 2019 that I'll be available for all of the days proceedings. I have business to take care of.

Hopefully the other staffers pick up the slack. 

And for the other staffers on this log, there's RawkHawk2010. ...And there's Ryu (mostly on the Bethesda log) who isn't a staffer but has the unique privilege of hanging out with us since we've known him for over 15 years. Click here to jump right to the Devolver section. (It's much shorter.)


[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: @everyone

https://www.twitch.tv/twitch

Bethesda and then Devolver Digital now

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: :koopa_koot:

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: At least I have alcohol.

[5:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I already finished all  my milk.

Microsoft E3 2019 Press Conference: KoopaTV's Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - People didn't let FAKE NEWS set their expectations for this, right?

There was a lot of dubious information and idiotic expectations entering into this Microsoft E3 2019. Let's be clear from the start what will be here: A lot of world premiere games for Xbox One (and PC) and a lot of Xbox Game Pass information.

Here to provide live reactions on the KoopaTV side for this E3 2019 are myself, RawkHawk2010, and not-a-KoopaTV-staffer Ryu. And, for the first time ever, there's part of the reaction log BEFORE the page break, because I don't actually have much to stay for this introduction section. Enjoy:


[12:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: @everyone

It's time for Microsoft's E3, perhaps the most consequential of the whole conference?

https://www.twitch.tv/twitch

[12:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: https://www.twitch.tv/xbox

[12:58 PM] Ryu: Rawk got the better link

[12:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Aright.

[12:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: I's ready.

[12:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: My body isn't ready.

[12:59 PM] Ryu: closes Twitch chat

[12:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: I'm actually optimistic.

[12:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not even scared.

[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IT BEGINS.

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Three Nintendo Tournaments Day: E3 2019 Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring Super Mario Maker 2, Splatoon 2, and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

This one reaction log will cover the entirety of Saturday's E3 2019 events—sorry EA, you get nothing. We're talking about the Super Mario Maker 2 Invitational 2019, the Splatoon 2 World Championship 2019, and the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate World Championship 2019 3v3. Lots of worldly things here.

KoopaTV's staff itself is in Los Angeles (but not in The Theatre at Ace Hotel where these tournaments take place), and the vast majority of this reaction log is just me. RawkHawk2010 is here too. Ryu, who isn't part of the staff and is just a friend, isn't in Los Angeles but does sometimes appear in the log.

Click here to skip down to the Splatoon 2 part of the log. Click here to skip down to the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate part of the log.

Friday, June 7, 2019

E3 Weeks 2019 Schedule!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Your index for KoopaTV E3 2019 coverage.

First of all, congratulations. We've made it. It's now time for a new Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) for the year 2019. This is the videogame industry's biggest conference, put together by the Entertainment Software Association. The major gaming companies come from worldwide to show off what they're up to, and KoopaTV is right there with them.

This year, if you haven't read, is the first time that KoopaTV's staff is physically present in Los Angeles during E3. However, our mission at Los Angeles isn't just to attend E3, but to find and bring a special someone there.

With that said, here is our E3 Weeks 2019 logo:

KoopaTV E3 Weeks 2019 logo Electronic Entertainment Expo Hobo Phoenix Wright hat
This year's KoopaTV E3 Weeks (2019) logo was conceived and created by RawkHawk2010.
If you have any comments, questions, or concerns about it, ask him. ...He'll probably avoid answering.

If you want to watch everything that happens as it happens, I suggest twitch.tv/twitch and twitch.tv/nintendo.

Here is what will happen this year, in Eastern Time. Note that just because an event is listed here does not mean that KoopaTV will provide dedicated coverage to it. This year, we're committing to nothing:

Thursday, June 6, 2019

KoopaTV Staff to Fly to Los Angeles During E3 2019... To Find Phoenix Wright

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Tradition-breaking, but for an incredibly worthy cause.

You may have been wondering about the obvious lack of pre-E3 hype on KoopaTV.org for 2019. Everything has been going according to tradition, even the presence of the annual pre-E3 tragedy. It's not like the lack of Sony and Electronic Arts participation at E3 2019 would have us bothered, since we consistently aren't fans of their conferences.

So what is it? Well, it's because we knew the whole time that the Electronic Entertainment Expo wouldn't be our main focus during E3 Weeks 2019. Long-time readers know that every year of our existence (that's SIX years now) we've been supplying award-losing coverage of all of the major (and sometimes minor) company conferences at E3, supplemented by dedicated Nintendo Treehouse Live reaction logs. Essentially, we dedicated our lives so we didn't miss a moment of activity, and all of it was documented on the website. It was very popular with the search engines, too.


What are we doing instead? The whole KoopaTV staff is going to Los Angeles, which is where E3 has been based for a while now. But we're not going to the Los Angeles Convention Center.  No, we're going to search the streets of Los Angeles for disgraced and disbarred former attorney Phoenix Wright.

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Pokémon Sword/Shield June Direct: Galar Legends, Dynamax, the Wild Area

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A lot of the February criticisms got invalidated.

True story: I woke up early just to get to my day job early enough that I could watch today's Pokémon Direct presented by GAME FREAK... live! And live-react to it. Unfortunately, the live-reaction log doesn't pass basic KoopaTV quality standards, so I'm going to spend much more time and effort doing a full write-up for you. Aren't you lucky?

Here's the video-on-demand of the “roughly 15 minutes of information” that's approaching 17 minutes. That means there's plenty of footage in this that is strictly uninformative. Fortunately, the additional information found on the official website makes up for this.

 

There's surprisingly a lot to talk about here, and I just want to remind everyone of when we first saw Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield back in February, and of the comments people made back then.

I recommend you skip ahead to exactly three minutes in to skip some bad lyrics.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Government Regulation of Pay-to-Win and Loot Boxes: Good Idea Or No?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I read the proposed bill and I'll share my informed opinion.

At the start of May, Senator Josh Hawley of Missouri (Republican) said he would introduce a bill to the United States Senate to regulate loot boxes and pay-to-win micro-transactions in the videogame industry. I didn't comment on it because the bill didn't exist yet. I won't write an article about a bill before the lawmakers bother to write the bill itself. Now it's written, and you can read the full text of the proposed legislation here (while he's still in office) and check out its progress through the legislative process here.

The bill is already co-sponsored by fellow Senators Richard Blumenthal (Democrat of Connecticut) and Ed Markey (Democrat of Massachusetts) and is now sitting in the Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation. Who knows where it'll go from there, but the United States's gaming industry lobby, the Entertainment Software Association, is too busy making public statements disagreeing about gaming addiction's existence (which I need to write a new article about now that it's officially a thing) and organising the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) to meaningfully impede the bill's direction.

When I think of the United States Senate trying to regulate videogames, I think of Hillary Clinton's failed attempt trying to pass the Family Entertainment Protection Act in 2005, which, after examining the bill closely like I did, would have created a very different—and much worse—videogame industry compared to today had it passed back then.

How does “A bill to regulate certain pay-to-win microtransactions and sales of loot boxes in interactive digital entertainment products, and for other purposes.” fare under scrutiny? Let's find out together with my awesome analysis. The bill has five sections, so that's how I'll organise my article.

Monday, June 3, 2019

KoopaTV's May 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A month full of annual features and fun! And a feature improvement.

I know that in the gaming industry, people want to dedicate June to upcoming very important gaming conferences. Well, I want to take a day out of June to write about the month of May. May—despite us sometimes writing it as “March”—is important to KoopaTV. You'll see why as the post progresses, but it's all about the content. Let's get right into it.

The Top 5 Recommended KoopaTV Experiences of May 2019


Content matters, so here are the top five recommended KoopaTV experiences of May 2019. In chronological order! Even if it's not on this list, you should still check out every article from May 2019... and on the website in general. That's six years worth of content, but... you'll get a lot out of it.
  1. KoopaTV's Crabby Six-Year Anniversary  — KoopaTV opened May 12, 2013 to no acclaim whatsoever. We've come a long way since then, and KoopaTV has developed to the point of being very crab-like. We explain what exactly that means in this epic anniversary article.
  2. Super Silly Superpower Splatfest: Time Travel vs. Teleportation! — The May 2019 Splatfest pit Time Travel and Teleportation against one another, and based on KoopaTV's previously-stated thoughts on time travel (like long-time Daylight Saving Time opposition), Ludwig wrote about why you needed to support Team Transportation.
  3. Ace Attorney Isn't an RPG, but You Can Buy It at 50–70% off for CAPCOM Publisher Sale 2019! — Usually, when KoopaTV writes an Ace Attorney-is-on-sale article, we don't go into deep detail on Ace Attorney in terms of gameplay. But the Nintendo eShop prominently declares the franchise as role-playing games, so that's definitely something we needed to address.
  4. Democrats on Fox News Town Halls: Buttigieg vs. Warren — Not really game-related, but there's philosophy around Democrat candidates and their willingness to engage in what they consider “opposition media” like Fox News or KoopaTV, and that's foreshadowing future KoopaTV coverage of the 2020 presidential campaign. It's foreshadowing you need to read!
  5. Memorial to Durable Product Quality; They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To — KoopaTV's Memorial Day 2019 article, discussing product quality that's falling apart across the industries, including consumer electronics (and gaming hardware).