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Monday, March 18, 2019

Fire Emblem Support System and the Inhumanity of Networking

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Just how much do you truly value your network of people?

I was reading Peggy Noonan's latest DECLARATIONS column in the Wall Street Journal over the weekend, about the college admissions scandal going on in the news. (You can read it for yourself behind this paywall.) 

One of the morals of the column ended up being that you should strive to make friends, as opposed to just “networking”. Networking is a term that Ms. Noonan doesn't define, but it's commonly understood to mean that you're making shallow, quantity-based connections with random people you meet at events or gatherings, with the purpose of possibly being able to use them “as commodities” (her words) for your personal benefit later. (Such as getting a new job.)

How do you connect this to games? That's the whole philosophy of the Support mechanic in the Fire Emblem franchise! Supports have evolved over time and are appealing to the fans for a variety of reasons, which I'll cover in this article. How well does each Fire Emblem Support structure hew to the friends-not-networks philosophy?

Friday, March 15, 2019

Fortnite EULA Update: You Don't Need an Ace Attorney to Understand It

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You just need a parent, basic reading comprehension, or KoopaTV!

Back in the days last year when you could use the Nintendo Switch's Video Capture on Epic Games's Fortnite, I wrote a scathing article about how much I dislike Fortnite. Topping the article was a Video Captured 30-second YouTube clip of the end-user license agreement and how bad it was visually presented. I didn't think that video would get any views outside of that article. And until today, I was right. But now this video has nearly 6,000 views and counting.

I'm not asking you to watch that video. There's nothing interesting there. What is interesting is the comments section of that video, which now has over 100 comments on it. If that was on KoopaTV's comments section, all of them would be in the running for our monthly “worst comment of the month” award in our newsletters. 

I'll get to why the video suddenly has views and comments in a moment, and explain what is really going on in case you're concerned for your Fortnite existence (scroll down for a summary of the game's EULA written in plain English!), but among the worst comments that represent the fear in people's hearts:

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Hawking and Vortex: The Pi Day Parting

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Rip in Pisces.

I haven't looked for any, but I haven't come across any tributes to Stephen Hawking, the famed British theoretical physicist, who died a year ago on March 14, 2018. And I definitely haven't seen any tributes to former British KoopaTV staffer Vortexica, who we last saw on March 14, 2018. Coincidence? Well, here were his last words last year on this date, never-before revealed in public:
“Oh hey, looks like I've got fans on KoopaTV. How nice.
Also, RIP Stephen Hawking. :vul_cry:
I never did finish reading his book...” 

The second-to-last time any of us had heard from him was his last public appearance, KoopaTV's live reactions to the March 8, 2018 Nintendo Direct. Yeah, he had a week absence there, only to appear after Stephen Hawking die, only to never appear again.

As for why Vortexica said he had fans on KoopaTV, I was telling him the results of the KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XV, where Charssie said that Vortex was his favourite staffer as a person and as a writer, and Nandin said Vortex was his favourite staffer as a writer. Vortex was touched by that... and yet we still never saw him again.

Since then, Brexit has been a complete disaster, and I'm saying that as someone who didn't believe the United Kingdom leaving the European Union was inevitably always a bad idea. Brexit itself made Vortexica feel “apprehensive” but also “hopeful for the future.” Not hopeful enough to stick around with us.

I wrote an article on behalf of the staff about Vortexica being decommissioned, which is when we considered him legally deceased. Since then, we've learned absolutely nothing about his whereabouts, if he has any, or if he was actually killed. I proposed it might've been the work of Cappy (who hasn't gotten a mention in 2019 yet?!), and the whole “Vortex is in danger!” story arc of early 2018 was based around Cappy being interested in the United Kingdom, and then infiltrating it during the royal wedding.

As for Stephen Hawking, I wonder if there's a Rawk Hawk pun somewhere there. What would've been more appropriate: Vortex leaving because Mr. Hawking is British, or Rawk leaving because the Hawk King is gone?

...Well, that's not a good question to ask if I want to retain staff. I'll ask this instead: which of Stephen Hawking's many books do you think Vortexica never finished reading?

Ludwig mentioned the Feedback Form series in this article, so he's pleased to announce that you can now fill out KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XVIII and KoopaTV Quiz Part XVIII! Just go here for the links! This will probably be the last RIP Vortex article on KoopaTV, so don't enjoy it. Because that's sad.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Dropping Your Keys

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Literal, physical keys. Not Steam keys or anything like that.

Remember that tangential concluding paragraph at the end of my oh-crap-I-still-have-Wii-Points end of the Wii Shop Channel article? Nah, you probably didn't read it or get that far, because who cares about the Wii Shop Channel?

Well, the point there is my bit about my Wii U lanyard and how I'm discontinuing it as the last vestige of my Wii U usage. That was a bad idea. Since then, I went and lost my car key. Since I'm not an evil scumbag, I won't go buy a Nintendo Labo Vehicle Kit and get one of those Toy-Con master keys to hijack any vehicle possible. Let's just say, to satisfy the KoopaTV vehicle philosophy quota of the month, that planes not having keys to lose is still a great advantage of why planes are better than cars.

My car key was just a single key not attached to anything, since I de-attached the Wii U lanyard. No key ring or anything. I don't carry around other keys since I have nothing else that is kept locked. That makes it really easy to lose because it lacks a distinct and noticeable physical presence.

I'm not the only guy who has key-losing problems. Check out this Team Rocket Grunt in Pokémon FireRed and Pokémon LeafGreen who is supposed to be guarding the LIFT KEY that opens the elevator leading to Giovanni's office in Team Rocket's Hideout.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Splatfest: Would you rather be a KNIGHT or a WIZARD?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - My answer may surprise you, and my reasoning may convince you.

This may seem like a question of fantasy to you, but it's real for me. And personal.

This month's Splatoon 2 Splatfest, taking place this weekend on a worldwide basis, asks...

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Off the Hook news announcement knight vs. wizard
“Which would you rather be? A knight or a wizard?”

It's important to note that it's not asking which of knight or wizard you currently are, but which you would rather be. The use of the word “rather” indicates that, if given the opportunity to change your life, which option would you pick to do so?

You may note that the fact I emphasised that probably hints my choice. Before I get to that, I really did just want to make the question clear. This article isn't just about my opinion—but you may find it useful as well.

...I also suppose that my opening sentence is inherently wrong, because “rather” questions are fantasy and not reality, by definition.

Monday, March 11, 2019

President Donald John Trump Finally Takes Daylight Savings Time Position

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This has happened only because we at KoopaTV first asked him! Forever ago.

In the footer of yesterday's annual Daylight Savings Time article (which is a must-read if you want to know how Mario, of Mario's Time Machine fame, gave the dreaded inspiration of Daylight Savings Time to Founding Father Benjamin Franklin), I implied there wouldn't be an article today. But something magical happened today that I had to write about it.

President Donald John Trump, after not responding for two years (and not responding to the follow-up, either), has finally replied to KoopaTV, and the world, on his Daylight Savings Time position! 

“Making Daylight Saving Time permanent is O.K. with me!” he tweeted on Monday morning. Now, we asked him in our letters to demonstrate leadership in Congress to get Daylight Savings Time abolished, as opposed to made permanent, but that's at least still better than the status quo of changing the clocks twice a year and engaging in biannual time travel.

That said, his tweet is just a tweet. There's no policy push behind it yet. President Donald John Trump writes inane tweets all the time and most go absolutely nowhere. 

Fortunately, there is hope coming from more reliable places. Meet Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang. He has a lot of policy proposals that I'm sure we'll talk about later this year when the debates happen. Among them is also a call to make Daylight Savings Time permanent, for the express purpose of preventing more time-switching:

Sunday, March 10, 2019

The Origins of Daylight Savings Time: Mario's Time Machine

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A KoopaTV Daylight Savings Time article published on the Sunday it actually happens?

I'm declaring it now: Sunday March 10 is and will remain the worst day of the year 2019. Let me list the calamities on this day, each of which alone warrants it being a very bad day:
  1. In most of the United States, it's Daylight Savings Time, a practice where the government is somehow in control of time, and you must change all of your clocks by an hour ahead (so you lose an hour of sleep)
  2. It's MAR10 Day, or “Mario Day”, a horrific and once-unofficial acknowledgement of a pun that now has big sales and official recognition behind it in celebration of Mario, the Koopa-killing plumber
  3. I have to get a haircut today. It's just a trim, they say... 

I'll refrain from talking about my hair for this article (articles about my aesthetic personal problems are weird) and I'll just talk about the connection between Daylight Savings and Mario.

...And yes, there IS a connection. After years of sleuthing, I can finally combine my passions of hating Daylight Savings Time and hating Mario into one article. (See related DST and MAR10 articles below the footer for background.)

Friday, March 8, 2019

Support Lord Winklebottom Investigations

By SHINYGIRAFARIG - You Can Play As A Giraffe.

I made a guest post a long time ago about how fiction influences and how giraffes are barely represented in media which leads to little exposure and therefore not many know they are now a critically endangered species. 

Walton The Adventure Pals love cupcakes giraffes loser
I find The Adventure Pals very relatable. I also love giraffes.

Well Charlotte Sutherland is working on making a point and click adventure game with the vast majority done on her own and she is planning to release for the Switch alongside PC, Mac and Linex. She is a registered Switch developer so hopefully we can trust that she will put it on Switch if the Kickstarter gets funded.

Thursday, March 7, 2019

The Nintendo Labo Entering Virtual Reality

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nintendo really is entering virtual reality after all.

Normally, if a KoopaTV article has the name “Nintendo Labo” in the title, you may expect hysteria on my part. However, I'm going to reserve that for a future article, and just deal with virtual reality discussion.

With that said, Nintendo has just announced the fourth Nintendo Labo Toy-Con kit: The Nintendo Labo VR Kit. That's VR for Virtual Reality, a hot technology in general that is seeing its way into a lot of non-gaming settings. Virtual Reality really started getting its popularity as a gaming technology, but I don't think gamers really care about it anymore.

Interestingly enough, I've already made at least two references to Nintendo and Virtual Reality on KoopaTV, and both are extremely on-topic to this new Labo announcement.

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Two Right Ways and One Wrong Way To Present Information In-Game Through NPCs

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And of course, I go into detail about the wrong way.

Suppose you are a game developer. You're aware of the (lamentable) trend that instruction manuals are a fading memory, and players don't want to read those anyway. They want in-context information presented at least somewhat naturally, not in an out-of-game experience. And so, you want to present them that kind of information in an accessible-at-any-time format that they can optionally check out whenever by using the protagonist's talk/interact-with-the-environment button.

You have three options with the usage of dedicated non-playable characters (NPCs), which can also take non-character forms (like an in-game book shelf):
  1. Upon starting a conversation, the NPC prompts the player to select from a menu of topics they'd like to hear about. They pick one, hear the topic, and the conversation ends. The player could talk to the NPC again and select a different topic if they wish.
  2. There are several NPCs that the player can interact with, with each having a different topic to cover. Talking to the NPC again will make them repeat their topic.
  3. Have one NPC that cycles through topics each time you talk to them. Sometimes at random and sometimes in a set order.
Options #1 and #2 are perfectly acceptable. #1 is advisable if you want to promote a specific character as a great resource for the protagonist character, like a mentor or a know-it-all. #2 is fine if you don't want your helpful NPCs to have much characterisation. Maybe a set of colour-coded triplets who are each an expert on a different subject.

Option #3, an NPC that cycles through topics in a non-player-determined order, is awful, and that's the subject of this article. Take a look at this disastrous scenario from Team Kirby Clash Deluxe:

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Difficulty Modes and Unlocking Story Content

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What kind of rewards do you like?

A month ago on the Requests page I got this request from ShinyGirafarig, relating to her newfound Advance Wars-esque darling, Wargroove from Chucklefish:
In the Wargroove fanbase, people are divided about earning one star only if played in easy mode compared to earning 3 stars if players did well enough in normal mode. Chucklefish is even asking for feedback about it here

For those who want to earn 3 stars in easy mode, they explain that there are unlockables behind earning enough stars that they won't be able to get if they get one star per map. They also say people who struggle with TBS games would just look at a day by day walkthrough, making it a chore to earn 3 stars per map. Those who only want three stars to be tied to difficulty say that stars should be earned for good play.

My request is how should games handle unlockable rewards for casual players vs hardcore gamers?” 

(Of note is that Chucklefish's development blog doesn't have a comments section on it.)

I just want to note that I haven't played Wargroove before and I'm taking this request anyway. Therefore, I'm making a lot of assumptions to write this article. Please correct me if any of them are wrong.

Regardless, tomorrow morning (March 6—I picked a great time to do this request) Chucklefish will be taking actions to address this exact issue in a 1.2.0 patch of Wargroove. Here's their new system they're planning to implement, and how I think it makes sense compared to the unlockables philosophy I outline later in the article:

Monday, March 4, 2019

Don't Let Sakurai Die

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yet another “Sakurai overworks himself and you don't care.” article.

I've been a consistent advocate for Super Smash Bros. series director Masahiro Sakurai's personal health. Ranging from “A Sonnet for Sakurai” that starts off hoping he doesn't die while developing Super Smash Bros. For Wii U, to writing that he deserves a day off following the release of Super Smash Bros. For Wii U.

And it turns out that hoping he gets a day off wasn't at all facetious on my part, according to this Nintendo Dream interview with Sakurai translated by Nintendo Everything

Check out this ridiculous quote from Sakurai about that topic:

Friday, March 1, 2019

KoopaTV's February 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's time for a return to a (temporarily-retired) KoopaTV feature!

Did you know February is the shortest month of the year? ...You did? Yeah, everyone knows that. But did you know that despite that, KoopaTV in February 2019 didn't get the short end of the stick? Surprisingly decent month.

February was actually a fun microcosm of what makes KoopaTV a unique site, from that first week dedicated to Pancakes vs. Waffles, to an Enlightenment Movement article, and even some activism. Plus, caring about stuff that no one else does. Really hard to say that KoopaTV is like any other site you see out there. More on all of that throughout this newsletter!

Top Five Recommended KoopaTV Experiences of February 2019

There's no KoopaTV being a premium videogame commentary story without great experiences happening on a consistent basis! And that happened. Here's my evidence: the top five recommended KoopaTV experiences of February 2019.

(Everything on KoopaTV, whether or not it's on this list, is worth your time.) 

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Multi-Platform Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: April 9 Release

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How do the other systems handle Ace Attorney? With CONTRADICTIONS!

Once billed as “unmissable” for long-time series fans, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy is once again about to be ported to new consoles. This time, it's finally releasing outside the realm of Nintendo and mobile, and onto Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and Steam.

The release date? April 9 for outside-of-Japan. ...It's actually already out in Japan, but we're not too interested in that. One may wonder what the hold-up is, especially since the Japanese version already has full English in it. I'd say it gives CAPCOM, the franchise owner, some time to get more than zero pieces of Ace Attorney merchandise up on the new CAPCOM Store.

There actually is something “new” to this version of Ace Attorney Trilogy that wasn't in previous re-releases. Additional language support! French, German, Korean, and Simplified + Traditional Chinese language support will be added in a post-launch patch, most likely in the summer. If CAPCOM was always up for doing post-launch patches, why haven't they done them to fix some of the series’ infamous typos?

(Though they've fixed the most infamous typo of them all in the first re-release without needing a patch.)

Still, the right observation is, “the differentiator isn't even coming out at launch.” And a lot of Spanish people are upset that their language is ignored despite the original Ace Attorney games being released in Spanish. Oh well. I'm still waiting for Ace Attorney Investigations 2 to come out in English. But enough of that.

Now that Nintendo isn't the only company that gets to talk about Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, how do the others handle it? It turns out... really poorly. Hilariously so. Sit tight, this gets funny:

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Generation 8 and the Galar Region: The February 2019 Pokémon Direct

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I thought we'd get useless information.

It turns out that Pokémon Day is worth more than just making the latest Pokémon movie available for free through official means. No, going back to at least 2016, it's also used for announcing a brand new Pokémon generation through an utterly short and inconsequential trailer.

Pokémon Direct February 27 2019 teaser
Roughly 7 minutes of new information?
With three Poké Balls? Perhaps representing three starter Pokémon?

Pokémon Generation 8—the next mainline Pokémon RPG for the Nintendo Switch—is supposed to release at the end of 2019. It would make a lot of sense for it to now be revealed through a trailer.

Everything (besides the trailer embed) before this sentence was written the night before the February 27 Pokémon Direct. Since then, it became clear that I'm right, and not only was Generation 8 revealed, but so was the new region and the three new starter Pokémon! It turns out that the three Poké Balls really were meaningful.

Here they are:

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Live Reactions to Watching Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Was the movie as bad as expected? Find out alongside us...

Tomorrow is Pokémon Day 2019, as decreed by The Pokémon Company International. Just like last year with Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You, they have made Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us available for a limited time on

The Power Of Us is the most recent Pokémon movie, released in United States theatres only three months ago. Three months before that, I expressed concern that The Power of Us would be a bad movie experience compared to what I think is the best Pokémon movie, Pokémon the Movie 2000: The Power of One.

It's finally time to see if my concern was warranted, as myself, RawkHawk2010, Kamek, and Kamek's “female friend” all join together to live-react to the viewing of the movie! Featuring riveting sub-plots such as, will Kamek ever sync up with Rawk and myself's timestamp?

Spoilers: it's a better plot than the movie itself.

Monday, February 25, 2019

Frozen II Review: The First Cold Open

By EGYPTIAN KOOPA - I'm not surprised that this exists and neither should you.

Too many people review trailers by watching them again and again. However, many people only see a trailer a few times, and the most lasting impression one leaves on a viewer is from the first time it is seen. As such, I will not review this trailer in the 'normal' way. I'm going to pause after every scene transition and write my feelings on the matter.

With that said...

I have seen Frozen before. It was certainly not as appealing to me as it was to the majority of squealing girls who dressed up as their favorite wintery princess and/or queen that Halloween. Six years later, the trailer for its sequel has arrived, and I have arrived to watch it!

Friday, February 22, 2019

Vote Ludwig Von Koopa For Biggest Troublemaking Koopaling!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They call it a “fun poll”, I call it a matter of personal pride.

Presumably since around the launch of New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe last month (which I dismissed as a dud in its release day article), everyone's favourite kid-friendly official Nintendo site, Play Nintendo, has been running a poll titled “Koopaling Troublemaker Fun Poll.” Otherwise asking, “Which Koopaling is the biggest troublemaker?”

Here are the results so far of the poll:

Official Play Nintendo Koopalings poll Lemmy Morton Wendy Larry Iggy Ludwig Roy troublemaker
I'm not in first place? What is this?

This is an absolutely shameful result so far. There's no definitive end time to the poll, so I think it's up to KoopaTV readers to right the wrongs of the results.

To be explicit, the problem is that I'm only in third place, behind Lemmy Koopa and Roy Koopa. In reality, I am by far the most troublesome of all of the Koopalings! I'll prove it with LOGIC.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Reggie Fils-Aime Retiring; Doug Bowser Promoted To President of Nintendo of America

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - By the way, KoopaTV is the site that cared the most about Doug Bowser prior to today.

Today in the news, current Nintendo of America President and Chief Operating Officer Reggie Fils-Aime (alternatively Reggie Fils-Aimé) announced that he will be retiring from Nintendo effective April 15. Since KoopaTV has more important things to publish on April 15, I'll be writing my thoughts on this now.

Perhaps more important than Reggie retiring (at the age of 57—but I have no doubt he's rich) is who is retiring him: Doug Bowser, who joined Nintendo in 2015 as Vice President of Sales. Mr. Bowser later got promoted to Senior Vice President of Sales & Marketing after the departure of Scott Moffitt, Nintendo's previous Executive Vice President of Sales & Marketing. (Mr. Bowser and Mr. Moffitt happen to look pretty much identical.)

I'm not going to go over a retrospective of the career of Reggie Fils-Aime or write about memes spawned because of him, because that's sappy, cliché, and I don't think you care. I know I don't. A long-time KoopaTV reader recently asked me who Reggie Fils-Aime even is. I'll just say this: Prior to becoming President and Chief Operating Officer of Nintendo of America in 2006, Reggie was also the Executive Vice President of Sales & Marketing.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Rawk Hawk: The Spirit Battle

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Happy birthday to RawkHawk2010 the staffer!

Today, February 20, happens to be KoopaTV staffer RawkHawk2010's birthday. He's now 9 years old! Wow!

As a present to his continued longevity, and to start what might be a trend for this site, I'm going to write a concept of what his Spirit Battle would be like if Rawk Hawk managed to get any representation in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. The last time he's gotten anything was as a sticker in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. With a Spirit Battle, he'll get a lot more! First some details on what kind of spirit he'd be, and then details on his actual fight and the references included.

Spirit Details

Rawk Hawk
Paper Mario series
Spirit Type, Ability
Physical Attacks ↑

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee/Pikachu Really Does Suck (Demo)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You can decide by the end if this is just confirmation bias or I make genuine points.

Ever since its announcement, I've had a very negative slant towards Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee!. Then I went ahead and basically used series director Junichi Masuda's comments about Pokémon: Let's Go as an indication that he's jumped the Sharpedo. Then we ignored its release day and haven't mentioned it since, except the obligatory mention that it's a 10-million seller.

I'm pretty sure that, for my part (can't speak for the other staffers but this likely holds true for them as well), I wasn't going to mention Pokémon: Let's Go ever again except for the release of the next Pokémon mainline RPG for the Nintendo Switch. In what capacity that would be in would depend on if I like that next game or not.

And then they released a free demo of Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee! (as well as Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu!, but I assume that's the same content) on the eShop last week. I played it.

I didn't like it. Here's why.

Monday, February 18, 2019

Yoshi's Crafted World's Train-Building and Cow-Murdering Philosophies

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Yoshi's Crafted World demo makes a perfect KoopaTV discussion piece.

With the proposed Green New Deal putting high-speed trains and farting cows back on the public mind, Nintendo released a demo of Yoshi's Crafted World on the Nintendo eShop, following last week's Nintendo Direct.

On KoopaTV, we have trains and cows on the mind all the time, so this is topically appropriate. Plus, I have very strong opinions on the Yoshi franchise.

We already knew from Nintendo's E3 2017 (back when Yoshi's Crafted World was called “Yoshi 2018”... whoops, that slipped) that cows and Moo Moo Meadows Milk play a big role in the world. Let's examine just what that role is, how trains go into it, and our critical commentary on all of that.

Friday, February 15, 2019

9th Place on Tetris 99; and Other Tetris Things

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I don't like Tetris.

Once upon a time, a year ago, I was asked in a request to write about Tetris. I never did, since I dislike Tetris, and I was planning on interviewing someone associated Tetris to fulfill that request. She agreed, and then bailed on me. After repeated requests. So I never planned to write about Tetris ever again.

Suddenly, the Nintendo Direct from two days ago introduced this releasing-after-the-Direct game, Tetris 99, or as we called it first (before anyone else), “Tetris Battle Royale.” Free for anyone with a Nintendo Switch Online subscription, which is everyone on the KoopaTV staff thanks to our family group.

It's a VS. Tetris game (the kind where if you get combos you get to dump trash on other people's boards), but there are 99 players. Not 100. But 99. You probably don't have to worry about 98 other people ganging up on you, though. Like other battle royales, there's a large enough space of possibility that people are concerned with one another but probably not you. Just know you'll get some trash blocks and more trash blocks the more you play.

I wouldn't say there's that much direct interaction between players, then. Or maybe there is and I just don't know what I'm doing.

Tetris 99 stats screen Nintendo Switch
I've played Tetris 99 for over 15 minutes, so I'm obviously quite qualified to write a whole article about it.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Everything We Know About Town For Nintendo Switch After A Couple Of Nintendo Directs

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The game's plot is about a secret, much like everything else about it.

The previous Nintendo Direct, the Nintendo Direct in September 2018, introduced a new GAME FREAK title for the Nintendo Switch named Town. Yesterday's Nintendo Direct didn't mention Town at all, to the chagrin of literally no one. There's a certain segment of the population that was expecting news about a different sort of town, one in the Animal Crossing vein, and they're quite upset. But GAME FREAK's Town? Nah.

...Well, except me, because I'm interested in what GAME FREAK's non-Pokémon designers are doing after the success of Pocket Card Jockey. So here's the 44 second-trailer of Town from 5 months ago, and all we know from it:

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

KoopaTV's February 13, 2019 Nintendo Direct Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Enthusiasm lacking.

I already did much of my introduction to this log within the reaction log below for the Nintendo Direct of February 13, 2019. First Nintendo Direct of the year.

In attendance are myself, Rawk, Wendy, and non-KoopaTV-staffer-but-friend Ryu, or MarioSun90. For a while, the Direct was appealing to his specific tastes... and then it changed.

Please feel free to watch the Nintendo Direct as we live-react to it. Here's the embed, but the optimal thing is to open it in another window and compare our reactions (per the time stamps) with the video's time-stamp.

Nintendo Direct February 13 2019 preview
Fire Emblem: Three Houses was the headliner of this Direct, but let's just say that this website doesn't care.
But don't take the above-the-fold's word for it. Read the whole reaction log and confirm for yourself!

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

The CAPCOM Store Grand Opening!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring no Ace Attorney sellable items. (Not yet.)

Just so we don't get confused by similarly-titled grand opening store articles, the CAPCOM Store is a digital storefront selling all things CAPCOM—merchandise and games. Plus, there is a membership rewards program, which is sort of like what Club Nintendo used to be. (Nothing compared to the free KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, though!)

It just opened. Grand opening! 

Let's see what's on the CAPCOM Store. Fortunately, CAPCOM put together this awesome group artwork of their major franchises to represent the store:

CAPCOM Store Grand Opening Dragon's Dogma Monster Hunter Resident Evil Street Fighter Ace Attorney Devil May Cry
From back row to middle row to front row, left to right:
Grigori (Dragon's Dogma), Rathalos (Monster Hunter);
Arisen (Dragon's Dogma), Ada Wong (Resident Evil 2), Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil 2), Zombie Cop (Resident Evil 2), Claire Redfield (Resident Evil 2),
Ken (Street Fighter V), Ryu (Street Fighter V), Chun-Li (Street Fighter V), Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney), Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney), V (Devil May Cry 5), Dante (Devil May Cry 5), GreatSword (Monster Hunter World);
Mega Man (Mega Man), Roll (Mega Man), Nero (Devil May Cry 5), Palico (Monster Hunter World).

There's just one problem with that artwork, compared to what's in the store.

Monday, February 11, 2019

The New 2019 Three-Pillar Nintendo Management Policy

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Resource allocation. And hopes and dreams.

Back around 2003–2005, Nintendo had a three pillar strategy. The Nintendo GameCube, the console business, was the first pillar. The Game Boy Advance, the handheld business, was the second pillar. And the Nintendo DS, this weird gimmicky handheld thing with two screens, was the third pillar.

They called the Nintendo DS the third pillar because if it failed, the handheld business could still live on in the Game Boy line. The fate of the DS was very uncertain, after all, and when it launched, it had weird experimental games rather than the hardcore epics that defined the early-mid 2000s. Gamers were a select, nerdy group of people who were threatened by casuals coming in from the PlayStation 2's DVD player, and the likes of Jack Thompson and Hillary Clinton trying to ban videogames.

Eventually, Nintendo collapsed their second pillar, made the DS their handheld line, and transformed the GameCube into the Wii. Two pillars, and Nintendo was the one bringing the casuals in by redefining the image of the gamer.

That was a long time ago. It's 2019 now, and Nintendo's three pillars are now, according to Nintendo's recently-released management policy outline that came after their financial results for nine-months into the year ending March 2019...

Friday, February 8, 2019

After a Week of Pancakes vs. Waffles Articles, Ludwig Picks...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Even if I can't eat them, I need to join a Splatfest team.

This has certainly been one of the more interesting weeks in KoopaTV history, and it ends tonight: From publishing to Saturday night is another Splatoon 2 Splatfest: Pancakes vs. Waffles. If you didn't know that, you have not been paying attention to the site, because the first four days of the week have revealed a very divided KoopaTV.

Here's the gist. I have Celiac Disease, so I can't eat gluten without my intestines getting screwed up. Gluten is a protein that you'll find associated with certain grains—in this instance, wheat. Wheat is the primary ingredient of pancakes and waffles. That makes it a bit difficult for me to answer this Splatfest question posed by Pearl and Marina:

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Pancakes vs. Waffles Pearl Marina stealth dessert better breakfast food
“Which stealth dessert is the better breakfast food? Pancakes or waffles?”
Unlike pizza, I don't seek out gluten-free options for pancakes or waffles. (I just went to have a gluten-free pizza today. Pricey, but scrumptious.) Therefore, I don't know how to approach the Splatfest question, so I asked the staff to answer it for me. The staff spent all week offering their arguments. Here's a recap:

Team Pancakes:
  1. Stacey Abrams
  2. Kamek
Team Waffles:
  1. Wendy O. Koopa
  2. RawkHawk2010
(I should note that Stacey Abrams is not a KoopaTV staff member, but she still got her argument in during her response to the State of the Union.)

I still need to pick a team since the Splatfest does start tonight. I'm going to go through everyone's arguments and come to a decision for myself.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Cakes in the Pan

By KAMEK - Cakes in the Pan

Who would have thought it would come to this?

With great trepidation I write this article. Not because I want to, but because I have to.

Then again that's the only reason I write. The power of pancakes has compelled me to come to you today.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Pancakes vs. Waffles Pearl P-A-N-C-A-K-E-S zoom-in
And what a terrible power it is...
(I'm also writing because Ludwig is allergenically unable to write about the Pancakes vs. Waffles Splatoon 2 Splatfest.)

I don't believe I have to explain pancakes to you. The universally acclaimed breakfast dish is a staple of multiple cultures (check out Wikipedia) AND that includes video game culture.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Culture Does Not Make Waffles -- Waffles Make Culture

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Rawk Does Not Make Articles...Except Sometimes.

So there's a "Splatfest" coming up. Something about waffles and pancakes. Something about which one is better. Something Ludwig is unable to make judgment on because of an incurable illness (one a Borginian cocoon won't fix) which has led to other KoopaTV staffers taking this batter matter into their own hands.

Let's begin.


Splatoon 2 Splatfest pancakes vs. waffles Marina stand firm adversity holding ground
I don't know about all that...but more so than pancakes, yes.
(At least Marina isn't a waffler about being a waffler.)

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

KoopaTV Live Reactions: SOTU 2019 (and Stacey Abrams rebuttal)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The State of the Union 2019, and the state of pancakes vs. waffles?

Contrary to the parenthesis in the title of the article, we've almost always covered the opposition party's rebuttal statement during the State of the Union (delivered by the President of the United States of America). We just wanted to put special emphasis on failed Democratic candidate for Georgia governor, Stacey Abrams, and her rebuttal to President Donald John Trump.

In fact, here's a link that will warp you right to where she starts, because she has a different opinion to yesterday's article about waffles. Stacey Abrams is notable for being compared to Aunt Jemima, the pancake-making legend, in an election robocall. Thus, she's in the best position to offer thoughts on this.

Featured in this reaction log are myself, Rawk, Kamek, and Witch Princess.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Waffles are Absolutely The BEST FOOD EVER

By WENDY O. KOOPA - Captain of Team Waffle

Ludwig asked me to write this because he told me that he was was unqualified because of his dieting reasons. (Suuure. You haven't bowed down to the awesomeness that is THE WAFFLE.) The other reason was that there's this Splatoon 2 Splatfest thingy. I dunno what that is aside from the battle of the breakfast thing between pancakes and waffles. I was told I would have waffles and waffles I shall get.

The waffle is the most divine, absolute breakfast food you can ever get your hands on. I'm here to convince you to join the cult.

Friday, February 1, 2019

KoopaTV's January 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Look! I got the 2019 in there correctly!

What an incredibly quick month January 2019 was! And the question on all of your minds is... did KoopaTV get off to at least a decent start for 2019? Let's find out and get right into it.

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of January 2019

Every month in the newsletter, we give the best KoopaTV experiences (articles) from the month the newsletter is about. Everything published on KoopaTV is fantastic, free content that is worth your time investment, but we just like giving some extra attention to some of our super-favourites. Here is the January 2019 list, in chronological order:
  1. Phoenix Wright Impersonator Arrested For Poisoning—Exclusive Fight Footage Inside! — Phoenix Wright and Furio Tigre have an intense fight, with a court battle and the very question of identity on the line. KoopaTV has exclusive footage of that fight, so we're the best source of information on that.
  2. Splatoon 2 Family vs. Friends Splatfest: White Ink Was A Bad Idea  — Splatoon players have been clamouring for over three and a half years now. They got it in the Family vs. Friends Splatfest... and it was an atrocious undertaking. Ludwig explains why.
  3. What Is A Good Game Purchase? — Wendy O. Koopa cares a lot about her coins, so she wrote up some tips from her experience about the criteria that make up a good videogame purchase.
  4. Irrationality: Gillette and So-Called “Toxic Masculinity” — There was a very controversial advertisement that shaving & grooming company Gillette released, and KoopaTV felt the need to provide a unique take on it. Packed with gaming references to justify the article's existence on a gaming site.
  5. Booyah! Is Significant. Booyah! Back In Splatoon 2 — Yet another piece of superb Splatoon 2 content this month, this time about the very important “Booyah!” phrase that's so prevalent in Inkopolis culture.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

December 31, 2018 Nintendo Quarterly Financial Update

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Featuring lowered expectations that everyone knew would happen.

Today, Nintendo released their quarterly update about the state of their business, covering the beginning of October to the end of December—the biggest time period for them of the year in terms of selling software and hardware. I'd say it didn't disappoint, but their stock dropped 4% today, so it kind of did. That's because Nintendo's goal of selling 20 million additional Nintendo Switch consoles from April 1 2018 to March 30 2019 was reduced to a goal of 17 million. I thought everyone already knew that Nintendo's goal was overly ambitious and they weren't going to reach it, and that would have already been baked into Nintendo's stock price.

Guess not.

Here's some updated sales numbers Nintendo has provided, in my quarterly chart of fun:

Nintendo Switch software sales chart as of December 31 2018
Featuring no sales data on ARMS, Xenoblade Chronicles 2, or the Nintendo Labo!

I'm pretty sure, to this day, ARMS is outselling the Nintendo Labo, collectively. One Labo is too many, so over a million Labo is a concern. In any case, KoopaTV's anti-Labo crusade is clearly having a big impact and the Labo is widely considered across the industry to be a failure. That's another victory.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Ludwig Discovers He Has Wii Points The Day Wii Shop Channel Goes Away

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's spend the sunk cost unwisely.

Remember the highly-relevant and important warning article from 2017? Nintendo announced that the Wii Shop Channel would close to all transactions on January 30, 2019. I'm sure you've thought about it every day since, dreading the moment that is now upon us.

(I'd like to say that was all sarcasm, but people freaked out when Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection shut down. Just check the comments section.) 

I haven't thought about it until after I got Piranha Plant. For fun, I decided last night I'd write a short, silly article saying good-bye to the Wii Shop Channel for the last time. After looking through my mess of Wii accessories, going through the pains of finding batteries for the Wii Remote, getting the Wii Remote to sync up to the Wii with that painful red button, setting up the Sensor Bar, realising the Sensor Bar doesn't work, attaching the Classic Controller to the Wii Remote since that doesn't require motion control, and setting up my new Internet connection (compared to what was saved a decade ago)...

...I went to the Wii Shop Channel. And rather than a short silly article, I realised that I'd have to write something far more complicated and comprehensive, because this is what I saw:

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

How To Cope Playing Games With Awful Playable Characters

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm an expert and I have tips to share. This is apparently an intervention.

Today, Kingdom Hearts III was released worldwide. I don't really have anything to say about it beyond my comment here, where I still think the game is vapourware and not really releasing.

Almost no one on KoopaTV's staff cares about Kingdom Hearts III or the series in general except Wendy (and what's the likelihood she'll ever publish content here about Kingdom Hearts?), so I'm just going to segue into fulfilling one of the requests we've received that alludes to Sora, the protagonist of the Kingdom Hearts series (most of it anyway):
I desperately need an intervention article for dealing with characters you hate in media you love. You seem to be able to play games that have the plumber all the time. I need to deal with the fear of giant door opener wielder getting in my Smash Bros.” 

I'm an expert in playing games that feature characters I absolutely despise, ranging from every single Mario game to the fact that Super Smash Bros. now features bad characters like PAC-MAN and Chrom. Here are some ways you can handle games with awful protagonists.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Booyah! Is Significant. Booyah! Back In Splatoon 2

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Booyah! is a sociopositive signal of mindfulness. Not doing it is sociopathic.

Studies show that starting a Splatoon 2 match or Salmon Run shift with a Booyah!, and then having your teammates Booyah! back, improves team cohesion and performance. On average, non-Booyah! participants perform worse in team-based settings.

Why is the Booyah! button so powerful, and what is its significance in Splatoon 2 play? I'll explore that in detail in this article.

You might wonder why I'm writing about Booyah! now, in 2019, when the game supposedly is on its way out because it's not getting any more content updates. (Which was FAKE NEWS, as revealed by this morning's reveal of an upcoming content update.) It's still a highly relevant topic, as seen by this FRESH! statement in Inkopolis Square this morning:

Pls Booyah Back Splatoon 2 Inkopolis Square post please Faith:3c
“Pls Booyah Back” says Faith:3c.
(I swear I marked it as Fresh! after the screenshot.)

Friday, January 25, 2019

Metroid Prime 4 Development Scrapped... And Restarted

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's all gone now, but like a phoenix, it'll rise from the phazon. ...Or like a Ridley.

The only thing we have been sure of with Metroid Prime 4 is that logo of the 4 we saw at E3 2017; and even that's uncertain since Nintendo's financial documents state Metroid Prime 4's title to be “(temp.)” with a release window of “TBA.”

Nintendo made this Metroid Prime 4 development announcement today that leaves us about where we started with in terms of information, but we can assume an additional few years added onto whenever TBA was going to be:

We can now confirm that Retro Studios is working on Metroid Prime 4 with Nintendo producer Kensuke Tanabe leading them, instead of the prior situation with Mr. Tanabe leading an unknown, new development team. Those mystery men couldn't cut it, so Nintendo is scrapping everything they did for quality reasons and they're having Retro, the Nintendo studio that developed the three prior Metroid Prime games, work on it.

Nintendo might do this kind of thing often, but it doesn't get to public attention or happen to games that already had publicised announcements. The only other example I can think of was the Mother game that failed to come out on the Nintendo 64. That means today is big news, but it's hard to really get into it because we never knew anything about Metroid Prime 4 anyway. The logo still looks the same, too.

Nintendo could've not made this announcement and did the development reshuffling behind-the-scenes and we'd be none the wiser. We'd just be wondering what's taking so long, but people already think that. Remember, it's not a delay when the release date was To Be Announced to begin with! It still fits in that release window.

If you don't want to watch 3 minutes of Shinya Takahashi talk in Japanese with English sub-titles, you can read the full English transcript below: