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Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Remind Me To Bring A Plushie To My Next Dentist Appointment

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I need something to hold tight.

Sometimes when I write for KoopaTV, I discuss some of my... vulnerabilities. One of those vulnerabilities is my fear of dentists. I've written that dentists are terrifying and have torture tools. It's like being on the receiving end of my forward-smash in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate... for an hour. They have drills. Painful stuff. Plus, there's the water gun, the really bright light right in your eye, and the bizarrely-reclined chair.

What am I supposed to do with my limbs during this? I'm not chained down or anything. But giving into my instincts and slashing the face off my oppressor—that I (through my insurance) am paying—doesn't make sense. (Though since I'm paying them, maybe they shouldn't be so scary to their client.)

What if I get to hold something with my claws? Tightly? At present, I just interlock my right and left claws and hold on for dear life, sometimes to my own scales. What if I brought a plushie with me instead?

Speaking of plushies, I just got these in the mail from the official Nintendo online store, delivered by UPS. I think UPS has redeemed themselves by now, by the way, from the last time I ordered merchandise from there.


Toon Zelda Bowser Koopa official plush plushies
Left: Toon Princess Zelda plushie, based on The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
(Not in picture: My Toon Link plushie from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, which I've had for years.)
Right: Lord Bowser plushie.

Of those two plushies, I'd bring Princess Zelda. She's quite cuddly and could calm me down considerably during the dental cleaning and cavity search. (Currently cavity-free, by the way.)

Lord Bowser, although an amazing man and it being long past time that I owned non-amiibo merchandise of him (it was a huge gap made obvious in my Team Tortoise article), is difficult to actually hug. He's tough and not snuggly, just like the real King Koopa has been with me ever since Bowser Jr. was born.

...



Ludwig had a dental appointment the day of this article being written, so his next one is Thursday, January 23, 2020. Please remind him before that to bring a plushie, though he may bring one not pictured here because of the risk of bodily and oral fluids from the dental procedures possibly getting on the accompanying plush. Best the plush not be part of any royal family out there, in that case. If you have any better ways of coping with dental appointments, please do share them in the comments section.


This article appears to suggest that Ludwig would like the dentist more if he WAS chained to the chair...

10 comments :

  1. You like plushies too?! <3 I have what I think is a proper collection of plushies, especially Nintendo ones. And not just characters too, I have a Chain Chomp, a Bullet Bill, and a Bob-omb and Magikoopa! And two Toon Links because no one is more adorable than Toon Link.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...Did you think all of the plushie pictures in all of the articles up to this point were from other people...? Or that I have a bunch of plushies but actually dislike them?

      Delete
    2. ...If I was to say, "what plushie pictures in other articles up to this point?" could I get a promise from you to not VICIOUSLY mock me, that is to say, to keep the level of your mockery for this to at most run-of-the-mill intensity?

      Delete
  2. I put my Callie, Marie and a giraffe plushie in a hospital bag and my husband brought it to me when I went for that fateful hospital visit that told me they were going to intake me for inducing labor. I remember the time I dropped the plushies off the bed and a nurse picked them up and said not to put them in the crib at home thinking they were for my daughter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait, you're not supposed to give newborns plushies?

      Delete
    2. The crib should be a hard mattress and not soft, put the newborn on the back to sleep and to minimize things inside as newborns are unable to roll around until a certain age to be able to be in a position to breathe easier on its own.

      Delete
    3. So plushies are a... suffocation hazard?

      Delete
    4. Yes.

      Now my daughter is old enough to sleep with plushies in bed.

      Delete
    5. Now she can know what living is truly like.

      Delete

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