Bonds and Stock...ings?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Well, if you wanna get Ludwig excited without getting having to get him into a rant...

Ludwig would like to mention this article has a content warning for mild sexual content. And this exists because of the Requests Section.

So... once upon a time, Ludwig was a young Koopaling growing up. And then he stopped being so young and now he's a crusty old koot. In-between those times in Ludwig's life, he started to have strange feelings within him, which results in videos such as this:

Statements like these get Ludwig totally different than how he usually is.

Y-Yes ma'am!

Y-Y-Yes ma'am!

It's inexplicable as to why Ludwig gets this sort of reaction, and it only seems to happen from women. Scientists have tried to study the Koopa, but he's completely anti-science so he won't let them near him. (That's why people now know Iggy as the science Koopa instead of Ludwig, like it used to be.)

Anyway, Ludwig thinks it is a positive development that games are getting more and more women like this, and that it's a benefit of the new awareness that more women should be in games. (But not if the women exist for male gratification, then it's sexist and scummy. The women must exist because they want to be in charge, not because guys around them like it that way.)

"Now remember your place, friends. On my dinner plate!"

Women like Lady Palutena, otherwise known as goddess Palutena, is a great example of being her own woman. She's in charge of many men, including the Centurion Guards and Pit. They respect her, and also fear her. They know if they screw up, she'll pluck their wings or something, or subject them to the Power of Caging (see above). This makes Lady Palutena a powerful character, and just because some guys (like Ludwig) like Lady Palutena even more because of that, does not make Lady Palutena a sex object subject to the criticisms from the likes of Anita Sarkeesian.

Lady Palutena chooses to exert her power if necessary, but she prefers to be a real leader, inspiring a vision of justice. And justice includes punishment!

Skyworld has never needed jails before because Lady Palutena could make cages spawn out of nowhere.

Some may suggest that there is a familial tie to Ludwig's particular fondness for using one's position of power to prevent someone else from having any power themselves. A distant relative named Doug Bowser used GameCube controllers to tie up the diabolical Mario Bros., and for all we know, they're still tied up. (Unless the controller was needed for something else, like playing Super Mario Sunshine?) Ludwig may have just wanted to know what it feels like.

The Koopa family finds this satisfying. ...Not in a perverted way.

Toad secretly loves it, though.

Ludwig even based one (but only that one) videogame purchase, Mighty Switch Force, off of the idea of the game's flavour. When Mighty Switch Force 2 changed the scenario to fire-fighting from being a police officer, Ludwig didn't pick up the game. Sorry WayForward.

It bears repeating: This is totally inexplicable phenomenon. Why would anyone want to lose their sense of control over their own fate? It makes who we are as resilient folk to want to struggle and keep up the good fight.

...Yet there's just something about this value proposition that Ludwig can't resist. ...Well, he literally can't anyway.

 
One way or another, Ludwig clearly likes a bit of force in women. It makes things exciting, like eating a Zess Dynamite from Zess T. Everyone reading this knows that Ludwig has done some really dumb, bone-headed things in the past, and it's up to someone to set him straight by whatever means necessary.

Check out more screenshots like the above right here.
...By the way, Pit is clearly full of shit regarding Skyworld's jails. Look right there!

You can set Ludwig straight too, dear KoopaTV commenters. Comment in the comments sections for KoopaTV articles about all the things Ludwig gets wrong in his articles (and outside his articles for his general lack of moral behaviour despite lecturing people on moral behaviour) and you can win a $10 Nintendo eShop card! Remember, giving requests from the Requests page (much like the one that started this article) also can help you win that prize!


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