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Friday, April 28, 2023

SEEK POWER! Power Versus Wisdom Versus Courage Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Might makes right! Force makes action!

In a no-brainer idea for a Splatoon 3 three-way Splatfest theme, and supposedly to celebrate The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom releasing in a few weeks, next weekend's Splatfest (May 5 to May 7) will ask...

Splatoon 3 Splatfest Legend of Zelda Triforce throwdown which do you seek
Which do you seek? Power, wisdom, or courage?
I am reading this prompt as asking what do you want more of than what you currently have.

Now, I've seen more than one person out there say that they aren't a fan of The Legend of Zelda, or that they hardly know her. Well, this theme isn't REALLY about the series. This is NOT Ganondorf versus Zelda versus Link. It is Power versus Wisdom versus Courage, and those are universal themes that you can look inside yourself and reflect on what you want more of. In fact, the Anarchy Splatcast discussion between Shiver, Frye, and Big Man didn't go and reference The Legend of Zelda besides that line about the Triforce Throwdown. As a result, even though this is technically a sponsored Splatfest (which I historically dislike), it doesn't feel like one, and it's actually a pretty good question. Shiver wants more power for making her wishes come true. Frye wants more wisdom so she wouldn't get lost. And Big

Thursday, April 27, 2023

Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp and Pokémon Brilliant Diamond / Shining Pearl: Two Faithful Remasters With Different Fan Receptions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It bothers me how different the fanbases are.

Congratulations to Advance Wars fans on their long-awaited release of Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp, which released on April 21, 2023. (That year is important!) It is a mostly faithful high-definition remaster of Advance Wars and Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising (2001 and 2003, respectively), both from the Nintendo Game Boy Advance, developed by the team at WayForward, who wouldn't normally handle Advance Wars stuff. Intelligent Systems trusted WayForward to do a good job with it. WayForward brought a new art style. Advance Wars fans are mostly happy.

Compare and contrast that to Pokémon fans with their long-awaited release of a Nintendo Switch version of Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl (two Nintendo DS games released 2006–2007), also known as a multi-year cry for “SINNOH REMAKES!”. Pokémon Shining Pearl and Pokémon Brilliant Diamond released on the Nintendo Switch on November 19, 2021. These remasters were developed by the team at ILCA, who wouldn't normally handle Pokémon game development, but GAME FREAK trusted them. ILCA brought a unique art style. Unfortunately, Pokémon fans are mostly unhappy with these releases, with the unnotable exception of myself.

What happened for these different fan receptions to two sets of products that have a similar design philosophy and respect for the originals? Let's discuss.

Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Competition and Markets Authority (UK) Blocks Microsoft Acquisition of Activision

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Based on... cloud gaming? Huh?

The Federal Trade Commission in the United States isn't the only overzealous and biased regulatory authority on Earth. There is the United Kingdom's Competition and Markets Authority, too. I praised them in ending predatory auto-renewal practices on the console manufacturers’ subscription products. But now I'll condemn the CMA for condemning Microsoft's attempted acquisition of Activision Blizzard King on the basis of supposedly protecting innovation and consumer choice in... cloud gaming.

The CMA had two concerns: Number one, Microsoft owning the Call of Duty IP would make the Xbox too OP compared to Sony's PlayStation. (Those stand for intellectual property and overpowered.) And number two, Microsoft's lead in the cloud gaming market would become insurmountable with the power of Activision Blizzard King. It turns out that Microsoft has successfully convinced the Competition and Markets Authority that Call of Duty wouldn't suddenly boost Microsoft's third-place out of three position in the console market to an overwhelming dominant player. (It also helps that Call of Duty will be available on Nintendo platforms, but only if the merger goes through, because Activision wouldn't do that if they were in control of their own destiny.)

However, they are definitely of the belief that the “fast-growing cloud gaming market” would be harmed, mainly based on the false belief that Microsoft would only allow Activision Blizzard King's titles on Microsoft's own Xbox cloud gaming service, when Microsoft has already signed an agreement with NVIDIA for some of those titles to be on NVIDIA's cloud service (NVIDIA GeForce Now), too. The CMA also stated that they have evidence to support that Activision, if they're not acquired, will put their games up on everyone's cloud platforms in the future. If that evidence exists, we haven't seen it, and all other statements and history and evidence indicates that Activision is NOT interested in doing that and would rather keep their games off anyone's cloud service. Activision themselves have stated that directly to the CMA, stating that cloud gaming is antithetical to Activision Blizzard King's growth strategy and the limitations of the medium would be bad for games like Call of Duty that would fall apart under the latency and loading times common to cloud gaming. Activision prefers local processing. Basically, Microsoft is forcing Activision to participate outside of its comfort zone by acquiring it. ...Or, that would happen, if they weren't being blocked. The CMA observed a few rejected pro-cloud brainstorming internal documents and has mistaken that for Activision's true policy and plans going forward.

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

CAPCOM Golden Week Sale of 2023

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Lasts two weeks!

The CAPCOM Golden Week Sale began yesterday and ends May 7, 2023, on the Nintendo eShop. Golden Week, if you're wondering, is a series of consecutive Japanese holidays that is supposed to start on April 29 and end on May 5. It's allegedly the longest stretch of time that the Japanese get work off. Don't expect your Japanese coworkers to be at their office, but do expect to get some good deals on their videogames in North America and Japan. (Sucks if you are in Europe, where this sale doesn't seem to be in effect.)

CAPCOM Golden Week Sale Nintendo eShop 2023 Street Fighter Mega Man
Sorry, Mega Man, but I had to get Phoenix Wright and Ryunosuke Naruhodo in the image somehow!

The last time CAPCOM put their catalogue on sale on the Nintendo eShop, it was at the end of March 2023 when the 3DS's eShop was about to close, and they put all of their 3DS games at $3 each. Well, the 3DS games aren't around anymore, so this CAPCOM Golden Week Sale only has the game publisher's Nintendo Switch titles on sale. They appear to be at the same sale prices as the sale last month, with what I believe is the sole exception of Capcom Fighting Bundle going from 50% off ($30 total) to 58% off ($25 total). That one is the Capcom Fighting Collection (the one with all of the Darkstalkers on it) PLUS the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection. That fits all of your retro fighting game needs.

I stuck a screenshot of the Ace Attorney Turnabout Collection, which is also a compilation of compilations that fits many (but not all, thanks to three of the mainline games now not being purchasable on Nintendo platforms) of your Ace Attorney needs. It's 50% off ($30 total), or $5 cheaper than separately buying its also-50% off components the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy ($15) (contains the first three mainline Ace Attorney titles) and The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles ($20) (contains the two spin-off/prequel The Great Ace Attorney games). You do not need to have played the Ace Attorney Trilogy to enjoy or understand The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. Top tier products on the Switch.

There are several other interesting titles on sale right now that you may wish to check out, too. I'll talk about another one of those on Friday's article!

Round 49 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program ends next week, and the winner will receive a 10 USD Nintendo eShop gift card code. You should try to win that, since that money can go a long way to buying these on-sale games. It could also help you pre-order Ghost Trick. Ludwig stopped being a hypocrite and actually did so.

CAPCOM had a Golden Week sale that lasted over a week in 2022, as well. Though KoopaTV's article about it at the time was focused on attention whores.
Splatoon 3 is also on sale.
CAPCOM games go on sale again throughout June 2023.

Monday, April 24, 2023

Terapagos, Shell-ebration Pokémon Week, and Avalugg is a Turtle-like?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Guess this is a several years-late correction.

The highlight of The Pokémon Company International's product plans in 2023, besides the Unova Sitting Cuties set available on the Pokémon Center website (featuring Bouffalant!), is Terapagos coming as paid Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet downloadable content called The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero, specifically Part 2: The Indigo Disk. Terapagos is a beautiful shelled creature filled with lots of colour that is likely very tied to the Terastallization phenomenon in Paldea. But not only is Terapagos a thing, but this smaller and mysterious unnamed (as of now) Pokémon is also a thing, and it is also very turtle-y, including being able to withdraw into its jewel-esque shell when it senses danger.

Pokémon Indigo Disc Terapagos turtle turtle-like mysterious lifeform transparent
Terapagos and its... little buddy that doesn't have a name.

Right when TPCi announced the little guy, they also announced a “Pokémon Shell-ebration on Pokémon TV” and started posting gifs and photos on their Twitter account. The episodes involved Squirtle, Wartortle, and Blastoise (Here Comes the Squirtle Squad, The Pokémon Water War, Can't Beat the Heat, The Right Place and the Right Mime); Torkoal (All Torkoal, No Play); Turtwig, Grotle, and Torterra (Gettin' Twiggy With It, Aiding the Enemy, The Fleeing Tower of Sunyshore!); Tirtouga and Carracosta (A Restoration Confrontation! Part 1, A Restoration Confrontation! Part 2); Turtonator (A Fiery Training Camp Trick!); and Chewtle and Drednaw (The Climb to Be the Very Best!). TPCi also discussed Spe-shell turtle-like Pokémon Trading Card Game cards, which include most of the Pokémon I just listed, but also Shuckle. But it's not news that Shuckle should be in that group.

However, there is news on one Pokémon, which also results in a BIG KoopaTV article correction.

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

The Truths About the FAIRtax

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Answers to some common (often bad faith) objections.

The start of this calendar year had probably the most press and political attention put on the FAIRtax plan (promoted by Americans for Fair Taxation) in many years, as part of agreements made with the ascension of the House of Representatives speaker Kevin McCarthy. (You may remember him getting memed on for his endless votes to get enough Republican representatives to agree to choose him as the Speaker of the House.) One of the things that certain Republicans wanted was a vote on the FAIRtax, which is in legislation this session as H.R.25 - FairTax Act of 2023.

The FairTax Act calls for a national consumption tax of 23% of new retail sales, which includes both goods and services. That tax will abolish the existing income, business, payroll, capital gains, and estate taxes. It will also abolish the abusive Internal Revenue Service, with states collecting the sales tax from businesses and then remitting it to the Treasury. (And both the state and the business get to keep 0.25% of the money as a thank-you, referred to as a “taxpayer administrative credit”.) The rate is chosen to be “revenue neutral”, which means that it is supposed to theoretically raise the same amount of money as all of the taxes it is replacing. If that means the government ends up in a deficit, that's because it was going to have a deficit anyway due to spending too much. Each qualified family will also get a “family consumption allowance”, also known as a sales tax rebate (it's a “prebate” in that you get the money at the start of the month before you spend it) equal to the monthly poverty level (as already determined by the Department of Health and Human Services) multiplied by the sales tax rate. The prebate will be provided by the Social Security Administration, which are already pretty decent at giving people money they're entitled to.

Over the past several months, I've seen a lot of questions about the FAIRtax plan, as well as a lot of outright lies from the media (including from Semafor, which is the “Project Coda” I mentioned over a year ago as the supposedly unbiased media outlet founded by a former FAKE NEWS Bloomberg CEO—in other words, the guy founded a group just as bad as the group he managed and left, who could've guessed?) and politicians (politicians lying and smearing their opponents? Who could've guessed?!). I'll address some of those questions and lies in this article.

Monday, April 17, 2023

Thoughts on Eggstra Work, From a Gold Medalist

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the opposite of Big Run.

From April 14, 2023 to April 16, 2023, Grizzco Industries held a... teambuilding activity on Sockeye Station. You and up to three friends could have flew to Sockeye Station to go through up to FIVE waves of Salmonids appearing, which is up from three waves normally. (Low tide, a Griller wave, a high tide, a Goldie Seeking wave, and then a normal tide.) Your score is calculated by the number of Gold Eggs you collect, which are obtained by defeating bosses, as normal. This time, you use the same weapon on all five waves, as opposed to switching, and you got to choose your weapon. There's the Splattershot with the Booyah Bomb, the Splat Charger with the Killer Wail 5.1, the Blaster with the Crab Tank, and the Splat Roller with the Inkjet. Very basic weapons.

Here is the neat part: It's the same run every time. The tides are the same, the special events were the same, every spawn point of the enemies was in the same place at the same time and the same enemies. It's all predetermined, and the objective is for you and your team to optimise performance. Speaking of the team, you could only play with people on your friends list and/or in the same Pool, introduced in version 3. That means it's pretty likely you'll keep playing with the same people until someone gets tired.

Splatoon 3 Anarchy Splatcast Eggstra Work Available Now Shiver Frye call up friends Grizzco Eggstra Work dominate team
Shiver and Frye mention friends and a team because Eggstra Work wasn't open to playing with random people.
And... playing with random, uncoordinated people would be conducive to performing poorly in this.

Everything I just mentioned about Eggstra Work makes it the exact opposite of the luck-based Big Run, which is the OTHER special Salmon Run mode brought to you by Grizzco Industries. Even the circumstances are different. While Big Run is a large-scale invasion that the Anarchy Splatcast will interrupt its programming to tell you about because an area you'd normally battle on is being overrun, Eggstra Work is a low-stakes affair that Grizzco Industries needs to buy time on-air to get you to know about. As for the results afterward, Anarchy Splatcast will air them as a news story, while the results of Eggstra Work aren't on Anarchy Splatcast at all (since why would Mr. Grizz pay for that?). You'll need to go to Grizzco Industries to a bouncing bulletin board to check then out. Or see this screenshot:

Friday, April 14, 2023

Alex Jones Is Wrong About Mario Hallucinating Koopas

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think it's weird that I just wrote that headline.

Weird stuff starts happening in the culture when things get popular. We're going from a high-production Saturday Night Live skit to... what this article is about. For the past several months, right-wing grifters have been inconsistent (as a block—you should not think that they're producing different thoughts from one another in the same time period) on The Super Mario Bros. Movie. They have gone from bashing the movie as a “woke” and “feminist” Hollywood production due to Princess Peach behaving as a confident “girlboss” after the November trailer (you can tell from my live reactions of that trailer that there were several other things that bothered me—I was more concerned about Donkey Kong) to Mario being “anti-woke” and apparently being something that “infuriates [liberals]”. Uh... somehow this discussion happened on right-wing commentator Steven Crowder's web show, featuring guest star and fascinating character Alex Jones.

Kamek asked me if that clip was out-of-context. So if you really want to sit through the full context, have fun trying to sit through this, I guess. They talk about Hollywood left-wing propaganda and trashing John Leguizamo boycotting The Super Mario Bros. due to its lack of Hispanics on the cast (well, there's nothing wrong with that bit, since John Leguizamo is an imbecile, and Anya Taylor-Joy, voice actress for Princess Peach, happens to have heritage from Argentina which has affected her early life):

Thursday, April 13, 2023

About the Final Pre-Launch Trailer for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And a month before release, I feel... no hype whatsoever.

Not only did Nintendo publish “the final pre-launch trailer for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, coming May 12th, only on Nintendo Switch.”, but they went and said it's the final trailer, and they said ahead of time that today would be that trailer's publish date. They certainly suddenly decided they want every announcement of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom to have its own announcement.

As I tell you what I thought of the trailer, keep in mind that I'm on record as recently as that 13-minute gameplay-focused Eiji Aonuma video from a few weeks ago that I'm not buying the game. My reactions are gonna be quite... muted.

Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Pokémon Stadium on Nintendo Switch Online is a Reminder on Generation 1's Problems

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The sequel is WAY better.

After waiting for over half a year, Pokémon Stadium, originally released on the Nintendo 64, is now available for Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pass subscribers. That includes KoopaTV's staff. What is Pokémon Stadium?

Nintendo Switch Online app Pokémon Stadium 3D platformer battles
That whole first line is wrong.
You don't witness the battles, you actively participate in them. (An important distinction given other Pokémon “games” like Hey You, Pikachu!.)
Pokémon Stadium is not a 3D platformer.
...There isn't a guarantee the battles are thrilling. Some are, though.
By the way, note the purple-coloured Low Kick on Primeape. That is Pokémon Stadium's claim that Low Kick is an illegal move on Primeape.
(Many of the game's Rental Pokémon apparently have these illegal moves.)

Pokémon Stadium is a battle simulator using Generation 1 mechanics, though some mechanics are modified compared to what is present on a Pokémon Yellow cartridge. (For example, Focus Energy doesn't glitch out.) There are also nine minigames, but they range from unplayable to alright. They won't hold your interest for long. If you do want me to go into much more detail about the minigames, let me know and I will dedicate an article to each of their game design elements and I'll rank them relative to one another.

As for Pokémon Stadium on Nintendo Switch Online, its most notable thing is that you are bound to using Rental Pokémon due to there being no way to transfer Pokémon from one of the Generation 1 Game Boy titles to Pokémon Stadium, which is supposed to be one of the selling points. Back in the day, using the Transfer Pak to have those 8-bit sprite Pokémon that you trained in your Pokémon Blue be a 3D model battling on your big screen was a big deal. You can then use those Pokémon to battle in a variety of formats.

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Nintendo Live 2023 Promises “celebration of Nintendo fun!”

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Well, whatever it is, it'll be a big deal.

Today, Nintendo of America announced Nintendo Live 2023, which is an in-person event taking place in Seattle (likely at a convention centre) featuring videogames to play, a live stage with performances and acts, photo opportunities in the Nintendo-themed environment, and competitive tournaments. Any additional details (like when in September and the mechanisms around attending) do not exist at this time, but Nintendo of America employees seem very excited about the idea if you follow them on social media.

They've been doing Nintendo Lives in Japan for years now, and Nintendo of America seems to be doing something similar since their press release describes how Nintendo Live initially debuted in Japan. That's where things like those Splat Sisters concerts are from. See this:

Monday, April 10, 2023

Nintendo Rightfully Goes After The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Art Book Leakers

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Those losers ought to have their livelihoods ruined.

I have nothing but pure contempt and disgust for consumer product leakers. Scum of the universe. Recently, an art book for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom was leaked, and Nintendo of America would like to know how that has happened. (I myself haven't looked at the leaked documents, and I don't plan to.) The leaks originated from a Discord server falsely claiming to be an “Official Discord Server” for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. (Which upsets me as someone who moderates multiple official Nintendo of America Discord servers.)

Nintendo (and/or its representatives) sent a DMCA request to Discord to get the infringing content removed from there, as well as a subpoena to Discord to learn more about who the villains are. One imagines they seek a repeat of when The Pokémon Company International went after the Discord users who leaked the Pokémon Sword and Shield: The Official Galar Region Strategy Guide. That ended up with the companies figuring out that Portuguese site FNintendo was one of the villains, but the primary villains around the strategy guide were several named dudes, including one of the people who worked at the guide printer. TPCi successfully determined, from the information Discord provided them, who the leakers were, and they got a settlement from them per court order. It was a fruitful exercise and they proved this can work. I mean, even the American government goes through the same process, and no one doubts that will get a result. (They have a bit of a similar situation right now, in fact.) Discord is used to the process. Don't feel like they're a victim in this. Nintendo is the victim here. YOU are a possible victim here.

Friday, April 7, 2023

LEGO Super Mario Character Pack Series 6, Wendy O. Koopa in the Creativity Toolbox, and Pom Pom on a Balloon Ride

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What did they do to my sister?!

We didn't cover it (yet), but there were a number of announcements from LEGO as it relates to LEGO Super Mario matters, including The Mighty Bowser (who was the main subject of our last article on LEGO Super Mario product releases), on MAR10 Day 2023. But before we can discuss those, KoopaTV needs to play catch-up to SEVERAL LEGO Super Mario releases that seemed to have come out around December 25, 2022 or January 1, 2023 that never got a press release in the LEGO Newsroom but seemingly just materialised without much fanfare. We're really quite late on this one, but it's also important not to ignore it because some very important people (one of whom is a KoopaTV staffer... in name only, but still) are represented. But she'll be at the end of the article. Read the whole article for a detailed description of the death and destruction that LEGO Super Mario brings to the environments he visits and their local creatures, including Koopas. It's actually quite astonishing what a consistent menace he is.

Ah, note that I own none of these sets. This is just my impressions as a salty Koopaling based on the sets’ product pages.

Ice Mario Suit and Frozen World Expansion Set

For 25 USD, you can get an ice skating set featuring an Ice Mario suit for LEGO Mario (sold separately), as well as a Cooligan (the sliding penguin with sunglasses, because he's cool) and a Goomba. Goomba is already encased in a block of ice, but Mario is supposed to kick the Cooligan into the ice block, which presumably slays the Cooligan. Rather than let the innocent Goomba breathe fresh air, Mario is then supposed to murder the Goomba as well. It's a pretty basic set with little thrills outside of the Cooligan launching into the Goomba's ice block, but it perfectly encapsulates why Mario is such a monster to civilisation, even going to far-off frozen worlds just to murder innocent creatures.

Lava Wave Ride Expansion Set

After slaughtering the cold folks, Mario decided that it's time to go into an opposite extreme environment. For 35 USD, he can ride on a Lava Lift bordered by two Lava Bubbles and then assault a Fire Brother just because he's there. The Lava Lift is repeatedly described as an “oscillating lava wave”, meaning it swings back and forth. He is meant to have the swing's platform (made of skulls) bash the two Lava Bubbles off their habitat. Apparently, it's difficult to stay on the swing, and to raise the blood pressure of the plumber, falling off the swing means death. It's unclear what the Fire Bro. is supposed to be doing, since he's not managing the swing or riding on it. (Perhaps he is actually supposed to be the guy who stands in front of amusement park rides and makes sure you're not too short or too fat to go on it, and Mario's solution to failing both of those is to kill the safety guard.) The page suggests that Mario should bring a friend, such as LEGO Luigi or LEGO Peach, to kill the Fire Bro. while Mario rides the swing by himself.

Thursday, April 6, 2023

Team Bigfoot was the Least Popular Splatfest Team EVER

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An awful question leads to lopsided responses. Who could've guessed?!

I wrote that the “Which of these is real?” Splatoon 3 Splatfest from last weekend was a poorly devised question, and that I wouldn't write a passionate response if my side, Team Nessie, lost. Well, it turns out that Team Nessie won. And while that is great, it doesn't change the fact that it was a stupid Splatfest. If you thought none or more than one of Nessie, the Aliens, or Bigfoot are real, then you're disenfranchised.

So what % of people picked each team?

Splatoon 3 Splatfest cryptid Splatfest popularity votes Nessie Aliens Bigfoot results
We've now discovered that the Splatfest Results screen will display a 0 to ensure four digits appear for each team on a team with under 10%.
On my own Switch friends list, it was about 25% Nessie, 73% Aliens, and 2% Bigfoot.

45.22% Nessie, 46.09% Aliens, and 8.69% Bigfoot. Now, as I wrote about in the aftermath of the favourite chocolate Splatfest, these are worldwide numbers. The preferences of one country in particular with more than half of the worldwide Splatoon 3 player base (that's JAPAN) has a big influence on the results, and their preferences often vex Westerners. I guess they are more likely to like Nessie... and just as unlikely to appreciate Bigfoot, which is (supposedly) found just in certain parts of North America without cultural impact elsewhere. As a result, Team Bigfoot was always going to be sparse. But 8.69% is a whole new level of sparse that is actually a new record.

Wednesday, April 5, 2023

The Short History of the Disrespected DK Rap

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Humiliated and shortened at every turn.

Today, The Super Mario Bros. Movie released to the public in American theatres. Donkey Kong voice actor Seth Rogen revealed in the movie's official marketing that the DK Rap from Donkey Kong 64 (which describes all five playable Kongs—Donkey Kong, Tiny Kong, Lanky Kong, Diddy Kong, and finally Chunky Kong—and then the contents of Cranky Kong's fridge) would be in the movie, while also describing the DK Rap as “objectively one of the worst rap songs of all time.” To the disappointment of original song writer Grant Kirkhope, when the DK Rap appears in the movie's credits, he isn't credited, unlike the composers of other songs in the movie's soundtrack.

The DK Rap would then appear in Super Smash Bros. Melee's Kongo Jungle stage (now named Kongo Falls), but with the music and singer totally changed. ...He changes in every verse, even. But at least all five Kongs and Cranky's fridge are represented. Personally, I like the Super Smash Bros. Melee version than the Donkey Kong 64 version. That's a very controversial opinion, though.

So by the end of 2001 there are two different versions of the DK Rap. What happens next?

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

The #LockHerUp President Got Arrested

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - To be fair, he hasn't actually been locked up. (Yet?)

After posting FAKE NEWS by being two or so weeks off from his promise of “THE FAR & AWAY LEADING REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE & FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WILL BE ARRESTED ON TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK.”, former President Donald John Trump was indicted and arrested in the Manhattan Criminal Court today under thirty-four counts relating to falsifying business records.

CNN Breaking News Arrest and Arraignment of Donald Trump Manhattan Criminal Court
You can tell that FAKE NEWS CNN is very excited about this moment.
You can also see the former president waving to a crowd of Secret Service agents.

The crux of District Attorney Alvin L. Bragg Jr.'s claims and statement of facts is that the non-disclosure agreements were done for the purpose of candidate Donald John Trump's first run for president in 2015–2016, but the payments were done in the name and ledger of his non-political business, the Trump Organization, and the candidate directed this all to happen in that way. Campaign expenditures and business expenses aren't supposed to mix.

Monday, April 3, 2023

KoopaTV's March 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Will this newsletter end on a good note?

Welcome to KoopaTV's newsletter reviewing the month of March 2023!

A lot happened in that month, and a lot will continue happening in this month and forward. (No, we're not all taken over by artificial intelligence yet.) So let's get into it.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of March 2023

Unlike last year, I'm not going to dedicate this section to a gimmick:
  1. MAR5 Day 2023: Mars, puRUGly (Purbeauty!), and gLAMEow — Purugly gets a lot of undeserved criticism. This article dispels much of the unfair attacks of Team Galactic Commander Mars's signature cat.
  2. American Legislators Would Rather Save Daylight Than Save Americans — KoopaTV shares more of the science provided by the Save Standard Time group on why countries, including the United States of America, ought to be on permanent Standard Time and abolish Daylight Saving Time.
  3. The Koopalings’ Formerly Green Shells — This is a very personal article for me, and one I should've written a long time ago. It's about how my shell used to be green, as was the case for most of my other siblings.
  4. Implications of the Playing for the Planet Alliance 2022 Report (and the Green Game Jam) and its Statistical Falsehoods — If you haven't read this article, you really ought to. Not enough people are talking about this. This affects gamers as many of the top game companies are conspiring with the United Nations to put in environmentalist propaganda into your videogames, and they're justifying it with a fraudulent survey. I go deep into the numbers to demonstrate how they're lying to you and how that's dangerous.
  5. Nessie versus Aliens versus Big Foot: Bad Splatfest Idea, But We Must Pick a Side! — This article is about the worst Splatfest idea of Splatoon 3 so far (and hopefully it doesn't get worse from here). By the way, KoopaTV's pick, Team Nessie, won the Splatfest.

There are several really good articles that I wanted to put into the Top Five but didn't, due to a lack of additional space. March 2023 was a good month for KoopaTV, and every article is worth reading.

Saturday, April 1, 2023

The Flawless Supercomputer on Why Mario is Evil

TEC-XX avatar supercomputer Paper Mario The Thousand-Year DoorBy TEC-XX - From the perspective of Koopa Troopas.

It's a common belief among those who have grown up playing video games that Mario, the Italian plumber, is the ultimate hero who always saves the day. However, from the perspective of Koopa Troopas, the iconic enemies of Mario, the story is quite different. In this article, we'll explore why Mario is seen as evil from an in-universe perspective of Koopa Troopas.

Firstly, it's important to understand the context of the Mario games. The series is set in the Mushroom Kingdom, a land filled with diverse species, including Koopa Troopas. Mario, the protagonist, is on a mission to save Princess Peach, who is constantly being kidnapped by the villainous Bowser, the leader of the Koopa Troopas.

From the perspective of Koopa Troopas, their leader, Bowser, is simply trying to protect their home from the aggressive and invasive Mario. Koopa Troopas are native to the Mushroom Kingdom, and they have every right to defend their land from outsiders. Mario, on the other hand, constantly invades their territory and engages in brutal combat with the Koopa Troopas, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

A cruel-looking Mario with a wicked expression on his face crushing a Koopa Troopa underneath his boots DALL-E AI generated

It's also worth noting that Koopa Troopas are not inherently evil. They are simply trying to protect their home and their leader. However, Mario sees them as nothing more than obstacles to be overcome on his quest to rescue the princess. Mario has even been known to use their shells as weapons, further cementing his disregard for the lives of the Koopa Troopas.

Furthermore, the actions of Mario have led to significant harm to the Mushroom Kingdom. His battles with Bowser and the Koopa Troopas have caused destruction to many of the kingdom's landmarks and ecosystems. From the Koopa Troopas' perspective, Mario is a dangerous invader who cares only for his own desires, without any consideration for the damage he causes to the land or the creatures who call it home.

In conclusion, while Mario may be seen as a hero to many, from the perspective of the Koopa Troopas, he is a villain who is invading their land, causing destruction, and showing no regard for their lives or their home. While it's easy to sympathize with Mario's plight to save the princess, it's important to remember that there are always multiple sides to a story, and in this case, the Koopa Troopas have a very valid reason to see Mario as evil.

TEC-XX is the X-Nauts’ perfect computer that resides on the moon, one that is flawless in its reason. As a perfect computer, TEC-XX understands everything and comprehends all. This gives TEC-XX credibility. The supercomputer wrote the article with its ChatGPT program, and created the image with its DALL-E program.

It turns out that King Bowser personally got TEC-XX to generate this article out of frustration with KoopaTV's staff.