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Thursday, April 6, 2023

Team Bigfoot was the Least Popular Splatfest Team EVER

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - An awful question leads to lopsided responses. Who could've guessed?!

I wrote that the “Which of these is real?” Splatoon 3 Splatfest from last weekend was a poorly devised question, and that I wouldn't write a passionate response if my side, Team Nessie, lost. Well, it turns out that Team Nessie won. And while that is great, it doesn't change the fact that it was a stupid Splatfest. If you thought none or more than one of Nessie, the Aliens, or Bigfoot are real, then you're disenfranchised.

So what % of people picked each team?

Splatoon 3 Splatfest cryptid Splatfest popularity votes Nessie Aliens Bigfoot results
We've now discovered that the Splatfest Results screen will display a 0 to ensure four digits appear for each team on a team with under 10%.
On my own Switch friends list, it was about 25% Nessie, 73% Aliens, and 2% Bigfoot.

45.22% Nessie, 46.09% Aliens, and 8.69% Bigfoot. Now, as I wrote about in the aftermath of the favourite chocolate Splatfest, these are worldwide numbers. The preferences of one country in particular with more than half of the worldwide Splatoon 3 player base (that's JAPAN) has a big influence on the results, and their preferences often vex Westerners. I guess they are more likely to like Nessie... and just as unlikely to appreciate Bigfoot, which is (supposedly) found just in certain parts of North America without cultural impact elsewhere. As a result, Team Bigfoot was always going to be sparse. But 8.69% is a whole new level of sparse that is actually a new record.

Splatoon 3 Splatfest Big Man Team Bigfoot heart
A big heart? Maybe. Certainly not a big presence. Many people played dozens or even over a hundred matches without encountering a single Team Bigfoot.

If you convert the three-way into two one-on-ones (and this is the only way to make a proper comparison with Splatoon and Splatoon 2, where Splatfests only had two choices, not three), Team Bigfoot had 16.12% of the vote versus Team Nessie, and 15.86% of the vote against Team Aliens. Here is a list of the top ten worst popular-vote performances in Splatfest history across all three games in any region as of publishing:
  1. 15.86% Team Bigfoot (Big Man) versus 84.14% Team Aliens (Frye) [Splatoon 3]
  2. 16.12% Team Bigfoot (Big Man) versus 83.88% Team Nessie (Shiver) [Splatoon 3]
  3. 21.33% Team Sour (Big Man) versus 88.67% Team Sweet (Frye) [Splatoon 3]
  4. 23% Team Barbarian (Callie) vs. 77% Team Ninja (Marie) [Splatoon]
  5. 24% Team Cake (Pearl) versus 76% Team Ice Cream (Marina) [Splatoon 2]
  6. 26.21% Team Grub (Frye) versus 73.79% Team Gear (Shiver) [Splatoon 3]
  7. 26.51% Team Fun (Big Man) versus 73.49% Team Gear (Shiver) [Splatoon 3]
  8. 26.85% Team Mayo (Pearl) vs. 73.15% Team Ketchup (Marina) [Splatoon 3]
  9. 27.68% Team Back Roll (Marina) vs. 72.32% Team Front Roll (Pearl) [Splatoon 2]
  10. 28% Team Pirates (Callie) vs. 72% Team Ninjas (Marie) [Splatoon]

Yeah, it turns out that Big Man just broke his own record from the start of the year in the Spicy vs. Sweet vs. Sour Splatfest. He struggles with selecting good opinions and actually trying to back them up in the Anarchy Splatcast discussions, and so far, I haven't picked his side out of six opportunities. (Three for Shiver and three for Frye.)

Besides making fun of Big Man after the fact and being part of the Splatfest scoring system, does the low popularity matter? Well... maybe. Not on a macro-result level. Popularity disparity affects the rate of mirror matches. Team Aliens just fought Team Nessie (or other Team Aliens), and Team Nessie just fought Team Aliens, and that's fine. But when it came to the Tricolor Turf War, it won't do non-mirror matches unless players from all three teams are present, and the lack of existence of Team Bigfoot meant that even though there were plenty of Nessie and Aliens, there had to be mirror matches anyway. (Team Gear vs. Grub vs. Fun was the worst of all worlds where there was only one popular team and two niche teams.)

Splatoon 3 Splatfest Results Clout Nessie Aliens Bigfoot Open Pro Tricolor Turf War cryptids which is real
These battle-based results are calculated on players’ average clout.
Depending on the mode, you'll get some or no clout for losing, and a lot of clout for winning.
Since it's based on per-capita averages, that means teams with very few players have just as much opportunity to win these categories as big teams.

You only gain clout, which is how the performance categories are calculated, by playing against teams that aren't your own. That means if you want Tricolor Turf War clout, you might have to play for a long time before you ever get to find a match against two other teams and not a mirror match. That could have micro-level impacts on a player's motivation, mood, tilt, and being on a (temporary) hot streak. You might also find it not fun to play against your own team for no stakes. Meanwhile, someone on Team Bigfoot will constantly be NOT in mirror matches, so they might have a motivation advantage. That could be offset by a bigger stress disadvantage, however. You gotta pace yourself. Team Bigfoot mostly failed to do that.

Ludwig isn't sure what the point of having three-way Splatfests is if the choices have been two real options and a joke option, and how that is supposed to really be different than just having two real options like before. He lacks respect for Big Man, but denies being a misandrist.


  1. I mean it makes sense to me, what is bigfoot supposed to be anyway? Nessie could be some sort of ancient creature that is the last of it's kind and only survives due to its slow metabolism like sloths or turtles. Or she could be a sort of whale or whatever, something we already have clearly defined. I think aliens do exist, but whether that's tiny cells on a plant millions of lightyears away or smart beings with their own spaceship is to be determined. So i ask again, what is bigfoot supposed to be, some sort of missing link or a person who has that one disease where you grow a bunch of hair. Not very fun stuff.

    1. Bigfoot is someone's ostracised hairy uncle.

    2. The uncle that works at Nintendo? Should he be happy or sad that many don't believe he exists?

    3. Well, the people at Nintendo know he exists. Unless... all of Nintendo's employees are part of the Bigfoot tribe.

    4. Even if they didn't want to be discovered, they are probably pissed the public belief is so low.

    5. ...Why? I'd think they'd be pleased.

    6. They do not want to be known, but i don't think they'd want people to think there's no truth to the idea of them existing at all. Sort of an ego thing. Although the public not knowing them is clearly in their favor, it still stings a little.

    7. I guess we just think too differently to be on a similar wavelength on this.

  2. i literally only picked bigfoot because I will never pick any team that isn't bigman lol nobody likes poor bigfoot

  3. Team Fame got 16.14% against Team Money, and 17.26% against Team Love. Frye's team just barely avoids being less popular than Team Bigfoot!


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