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Wednesday, January 31, 2018

CONGRATULATIONS Super Mario Odyssey; 9 Million Sold Units?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, other news from Nintendo's nine-months-into-the-year ending March 2018. (Fiscal year 2017–2018, Q3.)

After years of being called “beleaguered” and jerks deeming its ecosystem to be irrelevant, Nintendo is suddenly being referred to with words like “powerhouse” by the press. This is helped out by its 2017–2018 Quarter 3 (October 1 to December 31) results, released today-ish. It got Nintendo's stock to pop 7%, which makes anyone who sold it when the Nintendo Labo was announced (*cough*Rawk*cough*) look like an idiot.

So, what's in those results? Spoiler alert: Nintendo doing fantastically in the biggest shopping period of the year helped a lot.

First of all, remember when it was FAKE NEWS to declare that the Nintendo Switch outsold the Wii U in one month vs. the Wii U's first year? Well, when the comparison is the Nintendo Switch's first year (or first eight months) versus the Wii U's lifetime sales, then, yes, the Nintendo Switch has already surpassed the Wii U in hardware, as seen here:

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

KoopaTV Live Reactions: SOTU 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - President Donald John Trump's attempt to start his work year with positive coverage?

While we are getting ready to review Nintendo's newly released earnings statement, President Donald John Trump was horrified to learn that KoopaTV, one of his biggest backers in his presidential run, gave him precisely middle-of-the-road coverage in his first year as president.

As such, he is taking over every TV station in the universe, which apparently includes us, to give an hour-long (?) address to try to get this year off to a better start. It's the State of the Union, 2018, brought to you by the White House.

Plus, to be Fair & Balanced, we react to Representative Joseph Kennedy the III's Democrat rebuttal.

Our staffers are ready to react, so let's go. It's me, Kamek, Rawk, and even Vortex!

Monday, January 29, 2018

Help Ludwig Learn How To Use His New Gaming PC (Windows 10?!)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Don't worry, I won't suddenly become a PC master race weirdo.

I didn't tell anyone but my closest confidantes, but... my PC was failing. Big-league. I did get it as a birthday gift in 2011, which is... a really long time ago, and it showed by failing to properly play even the most basic of games. (Still managed to play and develop all of KoopaTV's own videogames just fine, including 2017's Best PC Game, Soviet Missile Run!)

In late 2017, I was getting scary hard-disk drive failures on start-up. That was fairly indicative that my hardware wasn't going to be around much longer, and Ludwig without his desktop means you won't see him around. He'll also be quite unhappy. Unfortunately, suddenly switching to the third person still won't make it so someone else would solve the problem for me, so since my favourite console manufacturer did nothing I cared about for Black Friday/Cyber Monday, I got a new PC on sale. And it's not immediately outdated, I don't think.

Dell Inspiron Gaming Desktop glowing blue computer tower
Say hi to Ludwig's Dell Inspiron Gaming Desktop.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Dragon Ball FighterZ Is Out... But Not On Switch (YET!)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Since we joined the Dragon Ball FighterZ for Switch movement, the game has released, but no Switch announcement has been made.

The Dragon Ball franchise's latest production has been released on PC, Xbox One, and PlayStation 4 — Dragon Ball FighterZ. High-production anime-style animation and graphics with fast-paced combo-heavy carnage is what people think of when they watch and play Dragon Ball FighterZ, but why isn't Dragon Ball FighterZ on the Nintendo Switch, like we've been calling for?

I mean, it's on the PC, but no one should be playing fighting games on a mouse and keyboard. Bad experience. Meanwhile, the Switch lets you play this on the go. A good feature to complement what is the most critically-acclaimed Dragon Ball game. Ever.

Part of the problem is that Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 came out on the Nintendo Switch recently, and a while ago on the other systems. I don't know anything about Xenoverse 2 other than that it was unnecessary, but Bandai Namco decided to use it as a barometre for if they should bring Dragon Ball FighterZ to the Nintendo Switch. If they released FighterZ now, no one would've bought Xenoverse 2. Cannibalisation and all that.


Thursday, January 25, 2018

Miitomo's End of Life. ...What's Miitomo, Again?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I totally forgot what Miitomo was. Yup, totally mobile trash.

By May 9, 2018, Miitomo service will end. Remember Miitomo? I didn't. I still don't even know what the hell you do in Miitomo but it was Nintendo's first mobile application since their whole “let's go back on what we were saying for years and do mobile now.” reversal.

Miitomo proceeded to get 10 million users in a month, but those users weren't exactly the most engaged bunch. Afterwards, they had a Splatfest to promote it, and then Miitomo disappeared except to annoy people with its clothes and crap My Nintendo. (Otherwise, you can't actually do anything with all those Platinum Coins they dump on you.)

Anyway, Miitomo will end per the Miitomo site, which might not be around after May 9, so here is the announcement on the main Nintendo site

Nintendo Miitomo notification of the end of Miitomo service The Final Thank You Festival
Think you know your friends?
Well, too bad, because you'll NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

The Merits of Having Callie vs. Marie Determine Splatoon 2's Story Mode

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm not sure how meritorious it is, but the final Splatfest certainly affected a lot about Splatoon 2. (Spoilers, duh.)

I got a request a long time ago before Splatoon 2 came out, asking me:
Write the merits of having the final Splatfest determine Splatoon 2's story mode if it did so (have to wait until the game comes out).” 
Well, I obviously waited long after the game came out. I... had to think about this.

First, let's make sure we're all on the same page regarding the Squid Sisters and Splatoon 2

We write a lot about Splatfests here on KoopaTV. Splatfests are Inkopolis's cultural mega-events where all the squids and kids vote on which option they prefer when presented with two choices. Each choice is backed by one of the newscasters, be they the Squid Sisters in Splatoon (Callie and Marie) or Off the Hook in Splatoon 2 (Pearl and Marina). And when I say mega-event, I mean the whole Inkopolis Square or Inkopolis Plaza transforms into a festive situation with dancing, the night sky, and special music. All participants dedicate their activity to the Splatfest. We like them on KoopaTV because they give us things to talk about that we normally wouldn't, and then it's game-related.

For background to the request, Splatoon's final Splatfest, Callie vs. Marie, ended in Marie winning. That is a very formative event. It then wasn't until Splatoon 2's demo Splatfest that Off the Hook gave context to all of the Splatfests we've been participating in for the first Splatoon: The winner of a Splatfest becomes legally better than the loser of the Splatfest.

In-between Splatoon and Splatoon 2, Nintendo released a series of “Squid Sisters Stories” on the official Splatoon website, from Marie's perspective. It starts right after the final Splatoon Splatfest that she had just won...

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Nintendo Pitch: Abort the Port Support!

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Sequelized ports have got to go!

Announced at the Nintendo Direct Mini (see the broken mess of a log article here) were a number of games that will be lifted from previous systems and re-released on the Nintendo Switch. Some call them "ports." Hey, I do too or the word wouldn't be in the title.

Before we get too deep into this, not all ports are bad. There are ports that use all the pre-existing architecture but still acknowledge some level of modern content standards, and then get released as something that even the veteran player can feel like they're revisiting and experiencing for the first time. A great example is Kirby Super Star Ultra. It's a port of Kirby Super Star that came out 12 years after the original's release, which is a pretty ideal time frame for this kind of thing (we'll get to that). It pressed all the nostalgia nodes a straight port would, and upon taking advantage of its own nostalgic framework, gave the player new content they didn't even know they wanted. HAL Laboratory was seizing an opportunity. (P.S. I know what y'all are all thinking: "Kirby Super Star Ultra is a remake, not a port!" And my response is that Ultra is 90% "port", 10% "make", and is brewed to be greater than the sum of its parts. If that's a "remake", then why is EVERY port not a remake?)

Kirby Super Star Ultra Helper to Hero Bonkers Best Time Ludwig PrinceOfKoopas
Unlike Smash and Mario Kart as of late, Ultra focused on what the player could do with its characters rather than just mindlessly add them.
This resulted in new modes that weren't complete garbage. Isn't that right, Best Time Bonkers™? (Credit: Ludwig)

Monday, January 22, 2018

President Donald Trump's First Year Reflection

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It was mixed, as real life tends to be. But how mixed? Find out.

After an entire year of waiting, it is finally time to acknowledge that President Donald John Trump is 1/4 (or 1/8) through his presidency! Yes, he has completed an actual milestone. (It's a MEANINGFUL anniversary.)

Remember when everyone thought President Donald John Trump's first 100 days was the most important thing ever and it would determine everything that would follow for the other thousand-plus days of his presidency? Yeah, that was a stupid time period, and all of the obsession over that (both from the media, as well as the president himself) was silly. And I'm not just saying that looking back, but I thought it was always dumb. It's the ultimate enslavement to base-10 and stupid anniversaries.

It would be hard to guess how we would generally come around to the President if you take a look back at how we talked about him during the primary season. We (or I was, at least) were quite vicious to the guy, regularly insulting him and distancing ourselves from him. So, what do we think of him NOW?

Saturday, January 20, 2018

President Trump Fair & Balanced Mini-Contest 2017–2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Were we fair & balanced towards President Donald John Trump in his first year? Mini-Contest!

This Monday we will publish KoopaTV's article reflecting on the one-year anniversary since President Donald John Trump's inauguration. A videogame site is going to dedicate space to this because we're one of the few gaming publications to remember what candidate Trump's opposition tried to do to the industry and hold her accountable for it, and so we endorsed candidate Trump for president. Since KoopaTV played a part in 2016 to get him elected, we made it a policy to not shy away from giving coverage to the after-effects of what we were directly responsible for. Call it social responsibility.

KoopaTV's values include truth, levity, and fair & balanced writing. So it's an interesting question: Did we live up to those values when covering President Donald John Trump's first year in office? We want YOU to guess!

The American mainstream media (ABC, CBS, and NBC) have a 9–91% positive-negative coverage split in their coverage of President Donald John Trump. If we are less lopsided (from either direction), then we would at least be less biased than the media, but that is a very low bar. 

KoopaTV President Donald Trump Fair & Balanced Mini-Contest positive negative media coverage scale
YOU can guess KoopaTV's positive–negative coverage split for a PRIZE!

The Mini-Contest

On Monday's article we are going to list all of the articles about President Donald John Trump that we wrote in his first year as president. We are going to mark them as positive or negative (or neutral) coverage. To make this interesting, if you can be the KoopaTV reader closest to guessing the actual positive–negative coverage split, you are going to win TEN points in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program! (It's currently in Round 18, with the prize being a $10 Nintendo eShop card. 10 points can go a long way.)


Please comment here or e-mail KoopaTV at submissions(at)koopatv(dot)org with your guess, submitted in positive–negative format (for example, “90–10” would be 90% positive coverage and 10% negative). Your last submitted guess before the article is published on Monday will be your entry. Any guess made after your first and before the article is published on Monday will overwrite it.

KoopaTV will publish all guesses we get and who made them. KoopaTV won't publish your e-mail address, just your given screen name. KoopaTV won't use your e-mail address for any purpose other than to administrate the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, unless you specify that you would like to be part of our e-mail subscription.

Entries submitted via any other means will not be accepted.

The range of articles is from Donald Trump: Inauguration Day (January 20, 2017) to Is Sierra Leone A Shithole? The Great People There! (January 15, 2018).

It is the KoopaTV staff's discretion for whether or not an article is positive or negative towards President Donald John Trump, as well as the staff's discretion for whether or not an article qualifies as being about President Donald John Trump. Each article will be weighed equally.

If contestants are tied in closeness or the exact answer, then the contestant who submitted the guess first will get the points.

If an article is marked as neutral coverage, that does not affect the positive–negative split mathematics.

KoopaTV's staff hasn't actually done the tally as of when this is published, so the hosts have no idea what the correct answer is, either! Don't get used to KoopaTV publishing content on weekends.

The weekend is over, and here are the results!

Friday, January 19, 2018

Mirror Kirby 3DS Home Theme Released! ...Oh, and Kirby Battle Royale

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I don't know if the theme is the best thing to come of this game, but it probably is. (Plus, a special programming note for this weekend.)

We have come a long way from Nintendo's September 2017 Nintendo Direct which debuted Kirby Battle Royale. We all seemed to instantly want the game. Then, we actually learned what was in the game... which isn't much. We thought it would be the closest thing to a Kirby fighting game with online multiplayer, and it's really just a party game with one mode being the fighting part.

Some time ago, they released a free demo of Kirby Battle Royale on the 3DS eShop which features “demo tickets”, or treating the demo as a wait-to-play game. You can play three modes with it, and in your choice of free-for-alls or teams: Battle Arena, Apple Scramble, and Crazy Theater. Battle Arena is the fighting mode and it's quite shallow. Apple Scramble features you trying to attack Whispy Woods to get apples to fall down, and then you throw the apples down a trap door. Get more apples than your opponents. And Crazy Theater asks you to do things like stand on a panel on the ground that answers a prompt, or avoidance tasks, or whatever, and do that successfully enough times to win.

Basically, the game lacks depth, but it features a dozen or whatever copy abilities. (You can play as Sword, Cutter, and Beetle.) 

Kirby Battle Royale Blue Beetle arena
It's Beetle Kirby! (You can change the colour of your Kirby. This is blue.)

Thursday, January 18, 2018

What Nintendo Labo Is, and Why You Might Care

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A new product line from Nintendo.

Yesterday, we gave our live reactions on Nintendo's brand-new product line releasing in three months: Nintendo Labo, presumably pronounced as the “labo” in “laboratory.” Specifically, our reactions to the three-minute introductory trailer. If you didn't watch it (and all you have to do to get up-to-speed is click that hyperlink), Labo, per Nintendo's accompanying press release, is a series of “new line of interactive build-and-play experiences designed to inspire kids and those who are kids-at-heart.” The experiences are a physical kit made of materials like special cardboard, string, and tape, that work with the Nintendo Switch.

Since then, Nintendo has been marketing the Labo as three components: MAKE, PLAY, and DISCOVER. That's how I'll organise this article to explain what the Labo really is. But first, I have some words to say about what people thought Nintendo were going to announce, because I think people's weird expectations have a lot to do with how the Labo was received.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

KoopaTV's Sporadic Live Reactions to Nintendo Labo

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Well... okay.

On Facebook earlier today, Nintendo published this post:

Tune in here on Facebook or at at 2 p.m. PT/ 5 p.m. ET to discover a new interactive experience for Nintendo Switch that’s specially crafted for kids and those who are kids-at-heart.” 

So I'm going to write my whole thoughts and expectations on this in tomorrow's article. This one is just Rawk and I live-reacting (at different times) to what is a 3-minute announcement video. Let's just say, in typical Nintendo fan fashion, people (but not yours truly) were hyping this up to be something it was never going to be.

Find out what Nintendo Labo is by watching this and reading our raw reactions:

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Missile Scares in Hawaii and Japan; Missile Scares Everywhere

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You can playfully relive the missile scares caused by the Soviet Union in Soviet Missile Run.

In the span of a few days, the state of Hawaii's emergency alert system issued a FAKE NEWS “this is not a drill” alert that a ballistic missile was incoming, which wasn't corrected for over half an hour. The nation of Japan's public news network, NHK, sent out a FAKE NEWS alert that North Korea has launched a missile at Japan.

With deadly missiles on everyone's mind, we invite everyone to play KoopaTV's new videogame, Soviet Missile Run. It's the genesis of the missile threats you find now.

If you don't play it, then no one will be able to stop the Soviet Union's missile production, and the world may end a lot sooner than you expect. You might look at these FAKE NEWS alerts and then not take them seriously when there is a real missile incoming.

In the event you can't play Soviet Missile Run because you are using a mobile device, then your only choice is to DUCK AND COVER. That's another aspect of life where Koopas have it WAY better than humans, as Bert demonstrates:

Bert the turtle Duck and Cover film movie hands protect over neck head
Bert is about to withdraw into his shell to save himself from nuclear fallout.
Ducking and covering is actually helpful if you see a flash of light, as opposed to just government propaganda
meant to give you false hope.

If you are going to have a lot more of a personal interaction with missiles, and you're a shell-less human, then once again, I ask you to check out Soviet Missile Run. The protagonist, Varya, is up-close-and-personal with many, MANY missiles. She knows what to do. Learn from her. She has experience with both the CIA and the KGB, back when missiles were flying everywhere.

Soviet Missile Run level 3 Entering the Union Varya missiles
Do you know what you would do if a missile was flying right at you,
and your only shelter was another missile you were standing on?
Watching Duck and Cover won't help you, so you better play Soviet Missile Run!

One more time: Play Soviet Missile Run right here on KoopaTV, for free!

While Ludwig lacks the guts to jump around from missile to missile and using them as platforms, he has his shell. Most people reading this don't have that, so missile-survival training is critical. KoopaTV is not a substitute for proper civil defence training, though it can be used as an unsanctioned supplement.

The game also is educational on history, which explains current events.
Tulsi Gabbard was affected enough by the missile scare to make it her closing statement in a presidential debate.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Is Sierra Leone A Shithole? The Great People There!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We take issue with that man's belief.

Last week, United States of America President Donald John Trump reportedly (according to a Democrat in the room) said that “African countries” are “shithole countries.” (In a discussion about immigration protections for people currently in America.) He also said that immigration protections should be ceased with Haitians.

He has since said good things about Haiti in a tweet, but nothing about any African countries. What, is Africa beneath him?

There is some debate about whether or not the President actually said “shithole”, but no one is denying the basic sentiment behind the statement — people from economically disadvantaged countries shouldn't come to, and stay in, the United States under the merit-based immigration system proposed by President Donald John Trump. (He prefers Norwegians and Asians.)

We're writing about this, because, as you should know already, KoopaTV's Earth-based headquarters is in Sierra Leone. While the President didn't allegedly name-drop Sierra Leone, I think we can safely assume that he had Sierra Leone in mind, if he really did say that. (Sierra Leone was already the target of an immigration spat that directly affected KoopaTV.) Rather than talk about videogames or something, I think we owe our Sierra Leonean landlords the rent for 2018 one article that serves as a defence against the President's assertions demeaning our adopted country.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Super Smash Bros. Is All That Keeps The Wii U Going

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And by “going” I mean, “not invalidated.”

Once upon a time I wrote an article bemoaning all of the (downgraded) Wii U ports coming to the Nintendo 3DS. Well, after yesterday's Nintendo Direct Mini (January 11, 2018), now you get that same article but with the Nintendo Switch taking the place of the 3DS.

Of course, in that first article, I wrote that this would happen for Wii U games to “the NX”, but I didn't predict that we would get the unprecedented move on a game released on the Wii U, then ported to the 3DS, and THEN ported to the Nintendo Switch. (That's Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition.)

Hyrule Warriors Legends Definitive Edition Wii U 3DS Switch
I think they're just mad that we never nominated Cia for Best Character of the Year in 2014 or 2016, so maybe they think we will in 2018?
The only thing we've done with Cia is write about the Central Intelligence Agency, so...

We also got an announcement for the previously-Wii-U-exclusive Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (now with a FUNKY KONG mode, aka easy mode), and new stuff you can buy for Pokkén Tournament DX, which has already been out on the Switch from its Wii U origins.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

KoopaTV's Sporadic Live Reactions to Nintendo Direct Mini — January 11, 2018!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A Nintendo Direct so mini, that we need two logs to fill the article up.

Originally, I wanted to write an article mocking all of the outlets that, for weeks, was hyping everyone up on a Nintendo Direct to be released on January 11, 2018, based solely on weird rumours. I wanted to make a lesson about how KoopaTV is the source you can count on not to peddle FAKE NEWS. Internally, I was shutting down any discussion about this would-be Direct by the FAKE NEWS cry.

Well, an hour before Nintendo tweeted this, I wrote in our KoopaTV Discord server:

[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's the 11th.
[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No Direct announcement.
[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FAKE
[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NEWS

But, yeah, Nintendo tweet:

I still think I'm not wrong in saying it's FAKE NEWS (it's a Nintendo Direct MINI, not a Nintendo Direct! BIG LEAGUE of difference.), but regardless, our staff was not prepared for a synchronised reaction log. So you get this weird thing where RawkHawk2010 reacted pretty much immediately after the Nintendo Direct Mini was up, and I took my sweet, sweet time and responded over eight hours later. (Hey, I got a day job.)

You can follow along here, but you'll have to do it twice:

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

World Health Organisation To Make Code For “Gaming Disorder”

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - On the way for gaming addicts to get the treatment they need.

The dark underbelly of the videogame industry that I've been talking about for years is finally getting some top-level medical recognition. I'm talking about gaming addiction. 

In Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!, we portrayed Chad Joseph as a gaming addict. Years later, I was at risk of lapsing into addiction because of Nintendo's free-to-play games. By the end of 2015, we saw what a full-on addicted guy looks like when he sued Bethesda for his addiction to Fallout 4, which basically ruined his life. (No one seems to have followed the story for what happened to that guy. I'd contact the Russians on it, but I only can voice-act Russian from a script like in Soviet Missile Run, KoopaTV's new videogame.)

So, gaming addiction recognition. The World Health Organisation (WHO)'s publication, the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), will include the condition “gaming disorder” for its 11th edition due this year. To qualify for the condition, it appears that you will have to be gaming so much that you put gaming over other life pursuits, despite negative consequences. You also won't be able to control how much you game.

A lot of other media sources stop the story there, but we'll keep going and explain what that actually all means. 

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

The Big Bang Theory Is TERRIBLE! (Action vs. Comedy Splatfest)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Bringing down the whole genre...

Welcome to the first Splatfest of 2018. Splatoon 2 will keep giving us Splatfests for about one and a half more years. What exciting topic will Pearl and Marina bring us for the WORLDWIDE (instead of regional) Splatfest beginning this weekend?

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Action or Comedy teams introduction
ACTION VERSUS COMEDY, in a movies and TV shows sense.
Just to review, this Splatfest asking about genres in movies and TV shows comes after we just had a Splatfest about Films versus Books. (Note: I supported Books.) I guess since Films won, the next Splatfest is themed around what KIND of films you like. ...We had a Splatfest on that, too, on genres: Sci-Fi vs. Fantasy. (Note: I supported Fantasy.)

On that note, that sort of segues into my decision. Let me be clear: I don't even watch movies or TV shows. My lack of knowledge of what even goes on television is why this website is called KoopaTV, even though it's primarily made up of text-based content. That said, my favourite show, ever, that I basically base my life around, is Seinfeld. Obviously, that's a firm comedy show. Meanwhile, I have no strong opinions about any action show or movie. 

However, based on an argument that Team Action captain Pearl made, I cannot support Team Comedy:

Monday, January 8, 2018

KoopaTV's 2017 GOTY Awards!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Game of THAT Year 2017... and other categories.

Welcome one and all, to the fitting conclusion to one of the best years in gaming. It was also one of the best years in KoopaTV. We get to talk about what's best for both gaming and KoopaTV (sometimes, those CONVERGE!) in this article!

Quite frankly, I'll be happy just to get this over with, since it's been nothing but arguing all weekend. Very intense stuff behind-the-scenes, believe me.

Follow along with all the items that were nominated by checking out KoopaTV's 2017 GOTY Nominations. We have a policy not to disclose which staffer voted for which game.

Friday, January 5, 2018

KoopaTV's 2017 GOTY Nominations!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And other categories.

These were decided and talked about in our Koopa Keep Discord server. Behold!
The déjà vu from years past is intentional. (To be eligible, those running have to start their existence in America from January 1, 2017 to December 31, 2017.)

And just so you remember, that stands for “Game of THAT Year”. That's the KoopaTV touch.

But yeah, this isn't just about gaming, but also ourselves. ‘cause we're art to be recognised and applauded, too. Just to make it clear, we have an “each KoopaTV article may only be nominated once, total.” rule that obviously doesn't apply to the gaming half.

KoopaTV Game of THAT Year GOTY Nominations and other categories 2017
This article is such a rehash of the 2016 one that I just drew over the 6 to make it a 7!

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Watch Kamek Stream Yooka-Laylee; January 2018!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Maybe this'll get Yooka-Laylee to win a Game of THAT Year award, or at least get in the nominations?

We've been hearing the cases of hundreds of games released in 2017 for our Game of THAT Year awards. Nominations are going to be published tomorrow, but there are still a few games left to hear the case from. Yooka-Laylee is one of them — having been released on the Xbox One earlier in the year and on the Switch less than a month ago. Kamek owns the former and Rawk owns the latter, and contrary to his testimony, has actually been playing it and has some unique thoughts on it.

(Kamek and Rawk combo article to review Yooka-Laylee is still in the works. This obviously isn't it, hence the byline being me.) 

In a move that is not a breach of gaming journalism ethics but is a breach of the laws of sentience, Yooka-Laylee is treating our staff—and anyone else who wants to watch—to a Twitch stream. You know, with copies of the game that the staff has paid for. This is in hopes of being eternally recognised as the Game of THAT Year. My, Yooka-Laylee is so confident in its quality that the game isn't even trying to bribe us.

Kamek will be in Moodymaze Marsh. 

Yooka-Laylee Pagie do you want to unlock Moodymaze Marsh
Yes, let's go.

Anyway, watch the stream embedded below, or click here to access it from Twitch — including the live chat! (It's rare that we ask people to access something away from our website, so trust us on this one.)

It should start at around 11 PM EST.

Watch live video from Ultralink1000 on

By the way, if enough people are interested in Kamek's streaming, that'll probably result in there being more streaming in the future. I heard from the end of that should we get Rocket League article that he got the Jackbox Party Pack games...

Yooka-Laylee swimming model head body Yooka water
Yooka's head to body looks REALLY weird in water.

If you're reading this footer, then the streaming must have ended and thus this whole article would be pointless. (Alternatively, Kamek succeeded in getting the stream as a video-on-demand.) Oh well, that probably means that the hyperlink to the KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year 2017 nominations article will be below this footer. Check that out to see how well Yooka-Laylee did for nominations, and then check out the bottom of THAT article on the night of January 8, 2018 for a hyperlink to the actual awards.

Here are KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year 2017 nominations. Did Yooka-Laylee get represented?
Moodymaze Marsh was described in this Yooka-Laylee review as the best area in a 3D platformer, ever.
Wendy takes streaming duties next with A Hat In Time, and she has a very different style.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Saying eSports Are Sports is NOT a Liberal Conspiracy!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's actually a conservative notion to make.

On Tuesday, a novice guest host substituting for Rush Limbaugh, the greatest radio talk show host in history, made the claim that the movement to call eSports a type of sport is part of the liberal war against truth and words, done by the same people who are pushing the notion that men should be able to identify as women. His name is Todd E. Herman, and he's otherwise known for being a former “New Media Director” (digital strategist) for the Republican National Committee.

Previously, Mr. Limbaugh has provocatively stated that people who play videogames are among the least successful of those in society, and now his guest host is taking it a step further. Mr. Herman's (not to be confused with KoopaTV inspiration and another conservative radio talk show host, Herman Cain) argument is that once you devalue the meaning of words like sports and gender, liberals will go after freedom and liberty as well. Once those are out of the picture, then the American experiment is over, so you got to stop the left-wing slope of slipperyness by opposing the eSports are sports movement.

For the record, the results are pretty consistent that eSports are nowhere near the popularity of “traditional sports” and that even gamers who would vote on the GameFAQs poll of the day are much more likely to spectate traditional sports than an eSport. 

GameFAQs poll of the day watch more of traditional sports or eSports gamers
A plurality of gamers don't associate with any sports.
Source: GameFAQs poll.
Mr. Herman initially defined sports as about a pursuit of competitive excellence, with a handshake at the end. As the program continued (he spent a couple of minutes on eSports and tried to spend the rest of the program on topics such as Iran and terrorism), he kept getting phone calls about only eSports. It seems that the conservative-leaning Rush Limbaugh audience disagreed with the premise that the growing popularity of eSports is a liberal conspiracy! Just getting it out of the way: This article's premise is not that right-leaning people think that eSports/gamers/gaming are bad or anti-American or liberal. Most right-leaning people, if the caller volume was any indication, disagree with this particular host. I do too.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

New Years Celebration in New Donk City

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And why the Metro Kingdom is more dangerous than the United Kingdom.

Great news, guys: KoopaTV has affected yet another election result for a candidate we favour! This time, it was Mayor Pauline of New Donk City, who won over Donkey Kong. The people celebrated, and just in time for the new year, 2018! Here's a clip of the New Years Eve ball drop and subsequent song and dance festival in New Donk City, in honour of Mayor Pauline:

Yes, Mayor Pauline was re-elected as New Donk City mayor following our amazingly popular KoopaTV Adventures Special Episode: New Donk, New Donk song that you absolutely must watch for this article to make sense. As you can see in the clip above, the New Donk people are wearing their yellow-and-purple Crazy Caps, and then they're even dancing to a post-election variation of New Donk, New Donk!

Here are some photos of the celebration if you can't see the whole video embedded above for some reason:

New Years Eve 2017 2018 New York Time Square Planet Fitness yellow purple hats
Look closely at all of the yellow-and-purple Crazy Caps in the crowd!

Super Mario Odyssey New Donk City Festival Crazy Cap purple yellow
A close-up of the New Donk City Festival performance, where they were performing the New Donk, New Donk variant.

Monday, January 1, 2018

KoopaTV's December 2017 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - 2017 was kind of one of the best years of our lifetime. December helped a little.

Before I can officially usher in 2018 (though one of the first things I did today was update the copyright statement at the bottom to be 2013–2018), we need to review 2017. Erm... not the whole year (nominations for that are this Friday while the awards are next Monday, so go influence our thoughts in the comments section), just the last twelfth of it. DECEMBER! What else do you expect for a December 2017 review newsletter?

...Oh, well, there's new content and information in this newsletter too. They're just lower on the page. And if you want to know the results of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program round 17 (the BIGGEST ROUND EVER in terms of prizes and engagement — probably correlated), you'll have to get through the page break. Bwahahaha! 

Soviet Missile Run Released! Play It Here!

The biggest story of KoopaTV's December 2017, and I like to think the entire universe (certainly more than what 12 Diet Cokes a day does to your health), is that Soviet Missile Run has been released exclusively on KoopaTV. That's huge. If you're using a flash-enabled device (in other words, a computer with above shit-for-RAM), go play it. Highlight of your day. Otherwise, you can at least enjoy Soviet Missile Run's 30-second advertisement video.

Top Five Recommended Articles of December 2017

We've been the highlights of all of your weekdays for the whole month of December with our fantastic core product: the articles. They're all worth reading, believe me, but here are the top five recommended articles in chronological order for December 2017, not counting the Soviet Missile Run ones: