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Friday, July 5, 2019

Koopa Kingdom Immigration Family Relocation Services

By KAMEK - Sharing our expertise to the people who need it.

Now, I've been carefully monitoring the border situation for some time. Having provided family and child relocation services ourselves, we've decided it's time to share our best practices for border relocating!

We at KoopaTV understand the value of family. I include extended family in that definition as well. This is especially true in our organization. Rawk and I may have our differences of opinion, but we still take time to share an amicable nod in the hallways of our Sierra Leone office building.

Rawk Hawk huh Glitz Pit dialogue cross arms
Relationships are all about communication you see.

The Koopa family relocation services are here to help the Trump administration and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez come together in a brand-new harmonious approach. The United States' current situation of child and family detention is simply unacceptable. If you're going to be taking in children, you absolutely cannot overextend yourself. I've compiled a small set of rules that we take into account with the placement of children and families in regards to our borders.

Yoshi's Island Baby Mario crying in bubble red arrow
1. Make sure there's space for everyone.

You can't expect to adequately handle the situation without having dedicated space for each person/being. The child shown here (see arrow) is placed in a dedicated personal space bubble and can be appropriately interacted with on a personal and caring level.

Paper Mario Bowser's Castle jail dungeon Toads Parakarry
2. Supplies should be well attended and distributed.

As you can see here, there's a red ruffian and cohort here who have taken the recovery heart and is making his way into the corner's supply crates. This slide is an example of poor management of supplies and materials. Last I heard from my sources regarding the state of affairs in the United States borders, there's a huge deficit of appropriate care items such as diapers and soap (see child in slide one for appropriate soap bubble amounts). 

3. It's important to have good and adequate staffing for those placed in your care.
(Photo credit: AsylusGoji91)

It goes without saying that relocation is a difficult and trying time and having the right people for the job is very important. We at KoopaTV pride ourselves in saying that Koopa accommodations are top tier and have received plenty of press the Star World over. Morton Koopa Jr. is well-known for his disciplinary yet loving approach to relocated families. The United States has already declared that the Arts and Sciences are great and celebrated institutions. Ludwig Von Koopa, with his music and gadgetry, covers all your bases for engagement. Wendy, when she's around, provides an equal opportunity representation for all feminine beings in our care. On top of that, she has a great proclivity for athleticism in the form of skating! Good staffing equates to a complete holistic care which we strive for.

Kamek and Toadies kidnapping Star Children Yoshi's Island DS black babies Mario Luigi Peach
Service with a smile!

In the event that family relocation services are necessary, proper care speaks volumes.  On the off chance that you lack the ability to accommodate the volume of your relocated families, perhaps it may be time to reevaluate your situation.


Unfortunately, KoopaTV and associates are not currently available to be contracted by any one country or entity in this realm in terms of relocation services. This is nonnegotiable.


Many commentators in the United States currently describe their situation as “kids in cages.”

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