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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Crashing Market Crashers By Becoming a TRILLIONAIRE!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ♪ If I were a rich man... Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum... ♪

All I still use my 3DS for is accumulating Gem Apples in Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, using it as a portable music player brought to me by Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon, sometimes playing Pocket Card Jockey, and accumulating Play Coins so I can hire more (superficially diverse) feline stock analysts for Market Crashers, which is a minor game at the Nintendo 3DS's StreetPass Mii Plaza. It's based around different publicly-traded companies offering their stocks on the market, and buying low and selling high in an action game format. Predictive button-mashing, with the help of the analysts.

I like the game because I like hoarding money. I've been playing it every day for years.

In fact, I have so much money, I just became a trillionaire today. Count the commas. (They'd be decimal points in Europe, which I never liked.) This coincides with the United States stock market indices reaching record highs in the past few days.

Market Crashers trillionaire trillion G Nintendo 3DS StreetPass Mii Plaza
 ♪ All day long, I'd biddy biddy bum, if I were a wealthy man. ♫

The developers at Good-Feel never intended people to play the game for so long after the first ten billion, where you got a 24-karat gold statue of your Mii. But they did incentivise it a bit at the results screen with big bags of money that eventually become gold-coloured when you're in the hundreds of billions. So what happens when you're at a trillion?

Well, the money stack stops moving. There are no more accumulated bills in the money pile. Once you're at a trillion, the game stops showing any graphical representation of that and refuses to make the giant money bags symmetrical. Sure, the money counter (presented as a variable numeric text) keeps going up. But there's no satisfaction from there visually being no more cash to go around.

Where is it going? Perhaps we'll find out in tonight's presidential debate. The Democrats attack the wealth of millionaires. The Democrats attack the wealth of billionaires.

Will the Democrats start updating their rhetoric to confiscate the wealth of the trillionaire class as well? ...Or will they overlook the trillionaires and I'll be immune?

Which scenario would YOU rather have: The government take my money and waste it, or me continue to offer KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program prizes funded from my own figurative pocket? ‘cause KoopaTV doesn't make any revenue, but we still have costs. This site exists purely to do good for society, no matter the price. That's better than what the United States government does.

(Seriously, have you looked at the prizes for the current round, round 29? Only a trillionaire could afford to give away that much stuff for FREE.) 

Ludwig will be watching the Democrat presidential debate tonight. Stay tuned for his analysis tomorrow (Thursday), and he'll be sure to mention any concerns about trillionaires. Ludwig supposes an irresponsible billionaire, millionaire, or even a thousandaire could afford to give out the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program prizes, but you got to have a trillion in the bank to truly be well off enough to give away that money. You are free to comment in the comments section if you think negatively about Ludwig writing an article essentially to brag about money. He doesn't think he'll keep playing Market Crashers.

Ludwig watched the debate, and notes all mention of trillions in his analysis.


  1. You might be able to buy the streetpass version of Twitter with that amount of cash now mate


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