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Monday, May 11, 2015

George Zimmerman Shot By Right-Wing Gun Nut!?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Might even be affiliated with the Octarians.

Breaking news, y'all: Today, George Zimmerman was involved in some sort of weaponised altercation. (We care because KoopaTV covers every Zimmerman story in the news as part of our ZimmermanTV alter-ego.)

The plot twist? He was the one being shot at.

So a lot of these news sources get their clicks by saying there was another Zimmerman shooting, and the details talk about how he was the one being shot at. Well, we'll lay it up straight after doing research on the suspect and listening to the Lake Mary police's live conference.

Update later in the day: We said screw privacy and just gave the suspect's name in full.

George Zimmerman shot victim fire truck ambulance
Zimmerman being taken inside a firetruck masquerading as the ambulance.

Reportedly, George Zimmerman was in Lake Mary and got into another road rage incident... With the same guy as before, when it happened in September 2014, Mr. Matthew Apperson. So we could surmise that Mr. Apperson is out for revenge for last year's altercation and decided to bring his weapon.

Well, we decided to look up this Matthew Apperson character. It turns out that, based on his Facebook Likes (and we are certain we found the right guy because his name and that of the Facebook profile are the same, he lives in the same area as the incident, and he is friends with the same person who is living at or around his house according to searching Florida's white pages), he... is a right-wing gun nut. 

(Oh, and if we're wrong, just ignore the whole article and enjoy random Splatoon pictures.)

He gave a five-star review to Atomic Ammunition. He also Liked GLOCK, Rare (the right-wing site, not the videogame company), Conservative Daily, Florida Carry, Inc., Florida Gun Rights, and the National Rifle Association. Strangely, he also has Florida Medical Marijuana Lawyer Liked.

Disclosure: KoopaTV has endorsed that you donate to the National Rifle Association over the course of our videogame, Defend Anita Sarkeesian.

Matthew Apperson George Zimmerman shooter Facebook profile picture
Mr. Apperson has an affinity for the ocean.

So Don West, one of Zimmerman's famous trial attorneys, is still his attorney even now. He has stated that a bullet has missed George Zimmerman's head but hit the glass in his car, spraying him with debris. Then Zimmerman flagged down a police officer and was taken into a fire truck, as seen above. The shooter, Mr. Apperson, also called  9/11 and said he damaged Zimmerman. Matthew Apperson has since lawyered up.

Cap'n Cuttlefish Splatoon NPC Cuddlefish Captain manhole squidhole story mode
Cap'n Cuttlefish by day... Don West by night?

It is important to note that neither Matthew Apperson or George Zimmerman have been arrested or charged with anything. So he's still out there. Lake Mary police are still investigating whether or not there could be a possibility that Apperson was justified in shooting Zimmerman. Lake Mary officials also refuse to confirm that Apperson shot Zimmerman with a gun. (Although, I mean, look at the guy's interests.)

Could we then have the possibility that... it was a Splattershot?

Splatoon Inkling Octoling screenshot pic image story mode splattershot
Purple Octoling is Apperson. Yellow up-front Inkling is Zimmerman?

So Apperson used a Splattershot and loves the ocean. Dude is definitely part of the Octarian squad.

Splatoon Octarian Octolings story mode enemies
He isn't pictured here, though.

Yes, you can tell that I'm not very happy that George Zimmerman was shot. Not because I want to defend George Zimmerman (I'm sick of him already, as concluded in the article linked to after the footer), but because I really wanted to talk about Splatoon today and the Global Testfire demo that happened over the weekend.

As usual, George Zimmerman ruins the news schedule, so you'll get those demo impressions on Wednesday. For now, salivate over the fact that his shooter could possibly be a right-wing Octarian. 

Oh, investigative reporter Rawk has created a re-enactment video of the shooting. It's probably not accurate since it lacks ink, but it's more accurate than some of the videos created after Trayvon Martin was shot.

Ludwig is super hyped for Splatoon now, and he also will be awaiting for any new news on George Zimmerman's condition. Stay tuned to KoopaTV for the latest.

KoopaTV previously did creepy Facebook-stalking with Zimmerman's former Mario-loving girlfriend. 
Ludwig finally publishes the article dedicated to the Splatoon Global Testfire.
Ludwig goes over the rationale for how he approached this article's research here.
Apperson has been charged with attempted murder!


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