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Thursday, May 7, 2015

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to the Splatoon Direct!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Times for the Global Testfire included at the bottom.

Splatoon is personally my most anticipated game of 2015, so I'm totally pumped for the Nintendo Direct based on it!

We live-reacted to it. I'm Nintendork 13 13, RawkHawk2010 is RawkHawk2010, and Vortexica is breezinabout.

You can watch the whole Direct here while reading along with our reactions (pre-log banter ends at 10 AM):

 Nintendork 13 13 9:34 am

 RawkHawk2010 9:34 am

 Nintendork 13 13 9:34 am
    Except I overslept and got here at 10:41 PM
    (I didn't oversleep THAT much!)
    So I had to watch it non-live
    It was literally 33 minutes in the dream though

 Nintendork 13 13 9:36 am
    People said it had good beginning, then there was like, bad news in second half, but it had an amazing ending.

 RawkHawk2010 9:36 am
    Oh, I thought you meant you left out "AM" as a word.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:36 am
    ...that's all there weren't any details. <.<

 RawkHawk2010 9:36 am
    "Except I am overslept"
    Two things about Europe:

 Nintendork 13 13 9:37 am
    Yeah I saw

 RawkHawk2010 9:37 am
    That's your guy.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:37 am
    I know
    Isn't he great?

 RawkHawk2010 9:37 am
    the French have completely taken over my YouTube notifications.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:37 am
    I don't even GET YouTube notifications.

 RawkHawk2010 9:38 am

 RawkHawk2010 9:38 am
    Which originates from...
    6:00 of that.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:38 am
    is that a French JonTron

 RawkHawk2010 9:38 am
    This French guy who spends thirty minutes talking about people who have sex with cars.
    Or a French Ray William Johnson.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:39 am
    Are ProtonJon and JonTron the same dude

 RawkHawk2010 9:39 am
    That's Proton Jon.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:40 am
    he looks fine

 RawkHawk2010 9:40 am
    wtf his last name is Wheeler?
    Like Joey Wheeler?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:40 am

 RawkHawk2010 9:40 am
    Well then.
    Oh yeah, one more thing.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:41 am
    lol 9:42 am
    lol, speaking of Reggie
    I'm still playing Pokemon X and just now found the guy on Victory Road who says "my body is ready!"

 RawkHawk2010 9:43 am
    Oh yeah, that dude.
    And then there's this guy. 9:44 am
    lol. I remember seeing that too.

 RawkHawk2010 9:44 am
    I was hoping X&Y would have more references and meta humor.
    Still my favorite line of Pokemon dialogue, ever.

 RawkHawk2010 9:46 am

 Nintendork 13 13 9:46 am
    be back in time

 RawkHawk2010 9:53 am

 Nintendork 13 13 9:53 am

 RawkHawk2010 9:54 am
    Had to make some of that Italian herb popcorn.
    What's our opinion on the Italians, anyway?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:54 am
    I don't have anything to munch on.
    I don't really have an opinion.
    Or at least not one I want to publicly share.

 RawkHawk2010 9:54 am

 Nintendork 13 13 9:55 am
    (We can talk about it at... the end of the log! Stay tuned, folks!)

Splatoon Nintendo Direct May 7 squid-tastic new details Squid Research Lab
Squid-tastic new details. 9:55 am
    "Squid-tastic!" 9:55 am

 Nintendork 13 13 9:56 am
    Now, now.
    They didn't put the exclamation point there.
    You did! 9:56 am
    Oh, yeah.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:56 am
    That's inserting your personal bias! 9:56 am
    Force of habit.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:56 am
    lol 9:57 am
    But yeah, I just can't not add an exclamation point to a word that ends in "tastic"

 Nintendork 13 13 9:58 am
    But it's used mid-sentence!

 RawkHawk2010 9:58 am
    Is it coincidence that this and #NationalDayOfPrayer are on the same day?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:58 am

 RawkHawk2010 9:58 am

 Nintendork 13 13 9:59 am
    Splatoon comes out May 28 in Japan
    and May 29 everywhere else.
    So this is really just three weeks away from release.

 RawkHawk2010 9:59 am
    I didn't even know we had a release date.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:59 am
    I'm sure three weeks is the timeframe recommended by some
    yeah we do.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:59 am
    We don't have release dates on like anything else.
    No release date on Yoshi or Xenoblade X
    Cartoon Violence

 RawkHawk2010 10:00 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:00 am
    Squid Research Lab
    Ecological curiosities of this fascinating squid creature
    (oh, apparently there is no creature)

 RawkHawk2010 10:01 am
    This narration reminds me of something.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 am
    "Eureka indeed!"
    So they're doing
    ...research on humans? 10:01 am
    Awesome music: activate.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 am
    Like this?
    Isn't that unethical?
    "Unsurprisingly they each have a gender"
    *tumblrs triggered*

 RawkHawk2010 10:01 am
    Not liking that model of the inkling girl.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 am
    Skin colour and eye colour

 RawkHawk2010 10:01 am
    Looks terrifying.

 RawkHawk2010 10:02 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:02 am
    The Inklings are all 14
    ya I screen'd the development cycle

Splatoon Inkling Development Process art squid girl
The Inkling girl at the end is only 14.

 RawkHawk2010 10:02 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:02 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:02 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:03 am
    "Science is beautiful!"
    Dem sneakers

 RawkHawk2010 10:03 am
    "Let's dive a little deeper."
    ...the camera perspective there was...

 Nintendork 13 13 10:03 am
    "One unique Inkling habit is to protect their habitat."

 RawkHawk2010 10:04 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:04 am
    Good word. 10:04 am
    MASSIVE inkage.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:04 am
    "Bear in a honeybath, except far less pleasant."

 RawkHawk2010 10:04 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:04 am
    Cindy, Jeffrey, Jesse
    "Hide and go ink"

 RawkHawk2010 10:05 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:05 am
    Leveling up
    Okay video record #2
    Urchin Underpass
    Filled with concrete walls.
    (Like a maze?)
    Saltspray Rig

 Nintendork 13 13 10:06 am
    Fight for the high spot.
    Blackbelly Skatepark
    Walleye Warehouse for close-quarters combat
    Arowana Mall

 RawkHawk2010 10:06 am
    Wallaeye Warehouse looks exactly like that one Halo 3 level.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:07 am
    "Looks like turf wars can break out anywhere, like my chronic rash!"
    Video Record #3: fashion
    Squid culture
    (Japanese culture?)
    "Inkolopolis, fashion central for a young squid kid."
    Reminds me of TWEWY

 RawkHawk2010 10:07 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:08 am
    "Booyah Base"

 RawkHawk2010 10:08 am
    There were even directional arrows horizontally laid out on a building.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:08 am
    Jelonzo the Jellicent
    Wears a different t-shirt everyday.

 RawkHawk2010 10:08 am
    "Squid Kids" reminds me of "Fruit Dudes."

 Nintendork 13 13 10:09 am
    Dem sunglasses

 RawkHawk2010 10:09 am
    Annie is hideous.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:09 am
    Annie has fansquid

 RawkHawk2010 10:09 am
    As in...Finding NeMOE?!
    AHAH! 10:09 am
    Sheldon reminds me so much of E. Gadd.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:09 am
    Video #4: weapons
    Shooter, Charger, Roller

 Nintendork 13 13 10:10 am
    (Three main classes)
    Still liking all the music.

 RawkHawk2010 10:11 am
    The music is basically K.K. Slider music in a different octave.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:11 am
    I'm coo' with that 10:11 am
    So the Charger is basically a railgun?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:11 am
    I like family-friendly versions of actual weapons.
    Splatterscope the sniper

 RawkHawk2010 10:12 am
    Roller looks broke.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 am
    It lacks range

 RawkHawk2010 10:12 am
    Did he just say "splooge"?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:12 am
    Oh, lol.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 am
    Roller is like
    the Little Mac
    of weapons.

 RawkHawk2010 10:13 am
    Inkchu 10:13 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:13 am
    "Some of the sub-weapons has the scientific community freaking out"
    Dat Point Sensor support tool

 Nintendork 13 13 10:14 am
    Killer Wail
    (don't you dare link it)

 RawkHawk2010 10:15 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:15 am
    Gear Abilities
    Splatoon has racial integration

 RawkHawk2010 10:16 am this preview, anyway.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:16 am
    You can talk to other Inklings to special-order their clothes.

 RawkHawk2010 10:16 am
    But when the actual populace gets involved...?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:17 am
    Gear can be leveled up
    and get more abilities
    Spyke the gypsy

 RawkHawk2010 10:17 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:17 am
    Super Sea Snail 10:17 am
    Nice to see these gear abilities aren't just limited to passive boosts and what have you.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:17 am
    to get more ability slots
    Peculiar old man from squidhole
    Record #6: Story Mode
    Capn'n Cuttlefish

 Nintendork 13 13 10:18 am
    "Squid really are suckers"
    Octarians → Octopi
    So racial integration is yes
    Species integration is no

 RawkHawk2010 10:19 am
    I'm curious as to who did the music for this game, cuz it sounds like nothing we've ever heard does it?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:19 am
    Cuttlefish gives real-time dialogue
    Giant mechanised bosses
    I wonder if Cuttlefish is like Palutena
    or is stuck being a bit more boring.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:21 am
    Power Eggs (dragon balls?)

 RawkHawk2010 10:21 am
    Probably more boring.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:21 am
    woah Research Notes
    Sunken Scroll

 RawkHawk2010 10:21 am
    Treehouse is stuck working all day on Xenoblade X.
    Oh hey it's like Bayonetta.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:21 am
    "Each one reveals another piece of this world's past"
    Squid Sisters

 RawkHawk2010 10:21 am
    It actually IS Bayonetta.
    okay what the fuck
    this is terrifying

Splatoon Squid Sisters singing performance idols divas

 Nintendork 13 13 10:22 am
    We're being treated to a live concert 10:22 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:22 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:22 am
    Was that supposed to be this game's DK Rap?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:22 am
    I... don't know.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:23 am
    "Confident squid may want to swim onto the world wide web"
    I like the idea of the www. being an ocean.
    Online team battles are randomly swapped
    even among friends

 RawkHawk2010 10:24 am
    Probably, since they said you can't customize options between Friends.
    ...that'd suck.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:24 am
    Ranked Battle
    Based on skill and skill alone
    A+ to C-
    (grade inflation?)

 RawkHawk2010 10:25 am
    Is this music supposed to be Inkling death metal?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:25 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:25 am
    Nintendo Social Media channels announcing if enough Inklings across the world can unlock ranked battle.
    Startling revelation?
    "Free update events"
    Content updates planned through Summer 2015
    More stages to be added, and new weapons.
    (...Bowser Jr.?)
    More gear
    And ranked battle rulesets, including Tower Control
    so I guess Splatoon team was rushed
    and has to finish the game through free DLC?
    Another ruleset called Rainmaker
    but they don't know what it is yet
    August 2015: Huge post-launch update
    Allows clan matches

 Nintendork 13 13 10:27 am
    "Your friends vs. enemy friends"
    And then custom online battles
    Allowing stage selection and rules
    Video Record #8: amiibo shit

 RawkHawk2010 10:28 am
    ...this game basically isn't complete.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:28 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:28 am
    And won't be for months.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:28 am
    Wait this isn't amiibo shit
    it's an arcade
    8-bit "Squid Jump" 10:28 am
    "Oh the nostalgia!"

 RawkHawk2010 10:28 am
    There was something like this in Wario Ware Touched.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:28 am
    Now here's the amiibo
    "Sup, playa?!" - Inkling Boy

 RawkHawk2010 10:29 am
    I read that in Chad's voice.
    "That's fo' Trayvon!"

 Nintendork 13 13 10:29 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:30 am
    Can play the 8-bit videogames

Splatoon Squid Jump Squidball Racer Beatz 8-bit arcade minigames games waiting room lobby
Playing these sounds more fun than the waiting room in Super Smash Bros.

 RawkHawk2010 10:30 am
    Squid Beatz.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:30 am
    while waiting for match-making
    That's nice.
    "News program"
    "Hold on to your tentacles..."

 RawkHawk2010 10:30 am
    That's not even subtle, lol.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:30 am
    Vote between Cats and Dogs

 RawkHawk2010 10:30 am
    Considering who's saying it.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:31 am
    So it's like Conquests in Smash 4

 RawkHawk2010 10:31 am
    The Super Sea Snail looks like a Mario mushroom.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:31 am
    First Splatfest from June 20 to June 21
    (vote cats)

 RawkHawk2010 10:31 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:31 am
    "Squid is not an acceptable response"

 RawkHawk2010 10:31 am
    But yeah Cat will win.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:31 am
    Conducting our own research?
    Splatoon Global Testfire

 Nintendork 13 13 10:32 am
    Nintendo holding special event pre-release
    Free demo!
    On Wii U!
    At specific dates
    (Friday and Saturday this week)
    Pre-order or purchase Splatoon at GameStop
    get hideous Splatoon costumes for Miis in Smash 4

Super Smash Bros. For Wii U Inkling Mii costumes
...Yeah, these look really creepy.

 RawkHawk2010 10:32 am
    lol those Splatoon Miis look awful.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:33 am
    Well, that's that.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 am
    Guess we're gonna play the demo

 RawkHawk2010 10:33 am
    If my thumb can take it.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 am
    The demo has online matches at certain times to make sure people are online.

 RawkHawk2010 10:33 am
    Since it almost got cut off yesterday and all.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 am
    Yeah you'll need your right thumb
    to play the game.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:34 am
    And left one, too.
    For the sticks.

 RawkHawk2010 10:34 am
    So what's our opinion on this.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:34 am
    Best Direct this year.

 RawkHawk2010 10:34 am
    Naaaaaah. 10:35 am
    I'm marginally more interested than I was, but still not convinced.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:35 am
    Also the Squidling Mii costumes means deconfirmed for DLC

 RawkHawk2010 10:35 am
    The last Direct had Surprise.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:35 am
    The April Fools one?
    Yeah, it was surprising, but the actual announcements were

 RawkHawk2010 10:35 am

 Nintendork 13 13 10:36 am
    ...y'know, pretty crappy.

 RawkHawk2010 10:36 am
    All this Splatoon Direct confirmed is that the single-player component is nothing big.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:36 am
    It's bigger if you get the disc-locked amiibo!

 RawkHawk2010 10:37 am
    Fuck that.
    45 missions?!

 Nintendork 13 13 10:37 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:37 am
    Tied to amiibos?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:37 am
    20 each
    15 each to begin and then 5 additional

 RawkHawk2010 10:37 am
    Those squid sisters though.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:38 am

 RawkHawk2010 10:38 am
    Imagine the fetishes that will be instilled into today's youth.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:39 am
    (Is this supposed to segue into that request I got?) 10:39 am
    It'll be nothing tentacle hentai hasn't already blighted the world with.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:40 am
    (I don't like where this conversation is going)

Splatoon Global Testfire times dates demo Wii U Direct
That's May 8, Friday 11 PM to 12 AM EST; and May 9, Saturday 7 AM–8 AM EST along with 3 PM–4 PM EST.

Will you see KoopaTV's staff in the Splatoon Global Testfire? You'll know if it's us if you see one of our NNIDs there! Share your thoughts on the Direct, tentacle hentai, and Italians in the comments!

Ludwig gives his impressions of the Splatoon Global Testfire here.
America isn't the only region voting between Cats and Dogs. Europe is doing it too.
Splatoon 2, the sequel, is also introducing a Global Testfire before the game's official release.
Two years later, and Splatoon 2 also has its own Nintendo Direct!


  1. "Reminds me of TWEWY"

    That's because Inkopolis is based on Shibuya.

    1. Well, there you go.

      I bet you've found reasons not to be interested in Splatoon, huh?

    2. I'm conflicted. Splatoon looks interesting to me, but since I'm not much of an online multiplayer person, I don't know...

    3. Well, guess you'll have to try the Testfire.


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