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Thursday, December 5, 2019

A Mario Allegedly Conspired Against George Zimmerman

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is hilarious stuff.

I would like this article to serve as a contrast to yesterday's very pro-plaintiff article. I'm definitely not for every time someone sues another person for the person initiating the lawsuit. KoopaTV is filled with articles about baseless lawsuits against videogame companies for matters like getting them addicted, and how we're on the side of the company. (Most recently with some Canadian family suing about Fortnite being addictive.)

You might've heard that George Zimmerman—which KoopaTV has an embarrassing history with because mid-2014 and early 2015 had nothing better happening—is suing a lot of people for a lot of money, including the family of Trayvon Martin, who he killed in self-defence back in 2013. (And was found not guilty in his Ace Attorney-esque trial, a verdict we still support.) He's also suing the prosecutors, the state of Florida, and others.

You can read the court filing for yourself here. It features a fascinating theory from George Zimmerman, being that the prosecution from his 2013 case conspired against him and put Rachel Jeantel, described in the filing as an unemployed Florida citizen (who back in 2013, was an 18-year old ninth grader reading at a fourth grade level and was the number one tardy student in school) as “an imposter and fake witness” in place of her half-sister, Brittany Diamond Eugene, who was Trayvon Martin's true girlfriend and phone witness to his death.

The conspirators behind this swap are described as Trayvon's best friends (described as possibly dangerous and gangster-y), named Mario and Bramble.

Mario? Here? Wouldn't surprise me.

The reason the lawsuit is happening now is because the prosecutor in the 2013 case, Benjamin Crump and HarperCollins published a new book in October with the inflammatory title, Open Season: Legalized Genocide of Colored People, and it contains false information about George Zimmerman. Thus, he felt compelled to sue for defamation... for $100,000,000.00, as well as attorney's fees.

The claims in this lawsuit about the imposter witness are largely due to the new investigation done by filmmaker Joel Gilbert, whom Wikipedia notes as a right-wing conspiracy theorist. They claims are not proven (or disproven), but hey, that'll be what court is for.

Assuming this case isn't totally thrown out by the judge like the last time Zimmerman tried to sue for defamation, that time being NBC. Quite frankly, I don't inherently believe George Zimmerman's claim here. I mean, if it's true, then he should be entitled to damages. It's not like he has any other method of having a future, since the case also notes he's unemployable, under constant death threats, and can't maintain a date. (That date was also a Mario fan... he keeps coming up, doesn't he?)

If you look at KoopaTV's history of ZimmermanTV articles, you should note that this site's opinion of George Zimmerman slowly goes from “he's a hero” to “this guy is a dangerous lunatic in an endless loop of doing stupid things for attention.” This latest theory sounds like a Phoenix Wright bluff, so that might mean it's actually true! Though it's never made clear what anyone had to gain from having the half-sister be an imposter.


  1. This is very likely to get me worst comment, for being a downer if nothing else, but...why. Why is anybody about George Zimmerman in 2019. >_< I could hardly stand to hear about all this stuff *at the time.* If you, Ludwig, or anyone else here cares about the truth of what happened with the whole thing, good on you, but to me, we're living in an age where misinformation is so readily and prolifically spread that short of actually being at an event when it happens, there is no scientifically viable method for knowing the truth of something. And sometimes not even then--people's memories are faulty and prone to self-editing to make ourselves look better. The human race as a whole would be better off if we just didn't talk about stuff like this that happened more than, say, a single year prior.

    Frankly, it's exactly why Phoenix Wright is so amazing--that he's able to get at any nuggets of real truth in anything at all, let alone murder cases.

    1. Nah there's some really bad spam comments I'm not deleting that are giving you tremendous competition for that.

      Well, in this case, Zimmerman alleges that the person the prosecution said was at the event when it happened (by telephone) was really an imposter and it was someone else all along, which makes it even more convoluted.

      Reminder that it wasn't Zimmerman who brought this up. This is a reaction to the (failed) prosecutor on the case writing a defamatory book about it years later.

      Also reminder the last time Phoenix Wright was in a courtroom, he presented fake evidence in the murder case.

    2. It's still amazing that before that, he actually successfully got to the bottom of things even once.

    3. I don't know if we can trust that any of his other cases were totally legitimate!


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