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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Team Koopa's Rio Training Is Going Well!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm writing this from Brazil!

Looks like Belgium is falling apart. Fortunately, I'm in another country that begins with "b": Brazil. Specifically, Rio de Janeiro. I said before we're going to Rio, now we're there. Who is "we"? Team Koopa, representing Koopa Kingdom! We're going to win all of the awards! (Even if we don't have players participating in every sport... King Bowser tells me that we'll get the other medals somehow via other means.)

So we're here getting the lay of the land for training. There's a companion game to our training, Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games for the Nintendo 3DS. I don't recommend it. I mean, it's so bad that even though I'm a playable character in it, I'm not actually going to buy it. Apparently it's really a demo for the Wii U version coming out June 24, 2016, which will mark Team Koopa's second training session when we go back to Rio de Janeiro a lot closer to the actual 2016 Olympics date in August 2016.

But let me tell you, I'm doing well here at table tennis.

Ludwig Von Koopa Table Tennis win victory screen tournament Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games 3DS
I beat Luigi and then some freaky pink guy!
...It's probably infected with the Zika virus.
(Screenshot from NNID DMan-U1).

If there's one thing I'll compliment the 3DS version for, it's the "Road to Rio" story mode. Well, it's pretty bad, but there's some cool stuff besides implying King Dad is a horrible person who steals medals and works with Dr. Eggman.

For example, there's some commentary on Black Lives Matter. Apparently, they've extended to Brazil. Personally, I haven't seen any troubles between black people and the police in Brazil, and the state of Rio de Janeiro has more Afro-Brazilians than average. Then again, I'm not really looking for trouble.

Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games story black Mii connecting to the police Miiverse scared of the cops racist
Townsperson: “I keep trying to call my friend, but it's connecting me to the police, of all people! What gives?”
Leon: “Yo is this racist i mean like the stereotype is that dark skin people are scared of the cops bruh !!!!!”

By the way, Morton isn't on Team Koopa because he's out of shape. Not because he's afraid of any racial discrimination. ...That wouldn't make sense! (That's what I TRIED to tell him!)

We're going to be staying down here in Rio for the rest of the month, then I'll head to Sierra Leone to KoopaTV's HQ and then be returning back to the universe where I actually live.

The great part about this whole Internet cloud thing is that I can share updates and stuff from anywhere that has invested in Internet infrastructure, whether it be Brazil, Sierra Leone, Koopa Kingdom, or another place.

Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games costumes break Play Nintendo lawn chairs resting lazy
This is Team Koopa's competition, so I think we have a great advantage. I personally am using Little Mac's hard-work philosophy!
(From a Play Nintendo video — this is the best part of it, believe me.)

We work harder than the shells on our backs.

Team Koopa will be victorious!


Did you know that table tennis is pretty difficult? You need a lot of skill to play it. Have you ever played it before? HAVE YOU? Ludwig is dedicating himself to that. Writing KoopaTV articles counts as lounging off, so he has to get back to training!


That freaky pink guy turned out to be connected to the Zika outbreak.
Said freaky pink guy, Zazz, also turned out to be cheating in table tennis. Fun how Ludwig won anyway.
Those plumbers at their training hotel got on the news!
Unfortunately, it wasn't live television.

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