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Thursday, March 3, 2016

KoopaTV's March 3, 2016 Nintendo Direct Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Some cuteness, but the most adorable Prince was missing?

We're bringing you yet another Nintendo Direct! Only Ludwig could make it, so it's just him. Lame.

But is that as lame as this Nintendo Direct, or is it a lot lamer because the Direct was great? Read Ludwig's on-the-spot reaction to it below! Watch along with the embedded video:

Nintendork 13 13 4:58 pm
    Didn't we just have a Nintendo Direct last week?
    Sure it was for Pokémon, but it was still technically a Nintendo Direct.

Nintendo Direct March 3 2016 not include any updates on NX or mobile
You hear that? No NX or mobile. Stop asking them.

    dammit it didn't auto-refresh
    So there's Bill Trinen already passing it to Miyamoto for Star Fox Zero.
    "Hi everyone. I'm Shigeru Miyamoto, a game producer at Nintendo"

 Nintendork 13 13 5:01 pm
    Star Fox Zero is finally ready
    Story and maps are different compared to Star Fox 64.
    Katt is still preoccupied about being treated like a lady.
    "You'll be confronted by a never-before-seen boss."
    ...I mean that's how sequels are supposed to work?
    All the dialogue is the same
    oh besides PIGMA BOMB
    Making a big deal about multiple paths.
    But I mean that's not a new thing either.
    Fox amiibo

Star Fox Zero amiibo SNES Arwing
SNES graphics apparently fit the game pretty well?

 Nintendork 13 13 5:03 pm
    Play as the Arwing from Star Fox SNES if you use it
    It looks like it belongs there.
    "Star Fox Guard" = Project Guard
    "Slippy's Un cle Grippy"
    You serious?
    Why not use, like, Beltino?
    What the hell is Grippy?
    Star Fox Zero and Star Fox Guard packaged as a set.
    Both launch April 22, 2016.
    Splatoon update.
    balancing update for gear and matchmaking

Splatoon March update gear abilities improvements new Splatfest elements announcement Ranked Battle matchmaking
Improvements to certain gear abilities! Adjustments to Ranked Battle matchmaking!
NEW SPLATFEST ELEMENTS. (Say, do I still have to write that request about the OLD Splatfest elements?)

 Nintendork 13 13 5:05 pm
    Available March 8
    Next update are weapons.
    "Wasabi Splattershot"
    Update in two parts.
    A game we're all expecting
    "Not actual gameplay footage"
    For Ludwig & Bowser at the Olympic Games
    Bowser boxing
    There was Larry and Wendy
    This quality is dying in terms of video
    Wendy O. Koopa waving

Princess Wendy O. Koopa Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games cutscene CGI
I can't believe Wendy O. Koopa got this primetime action next to King Dad and I did not!
After this article is published, I'm rewatching the Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games trailer in slow motion.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:07 pm
    They showed Tails looking like a loser
    with magical sticks
    June 24, 2016 release
    Rio 2016 Olympic Games launches March 18, 2016 on 3DS
    Super Mari0 Maker
    6.2 million courses and counting and most suck
    "It's updatye time"
    Thwomps turn into skewers
    P-Switch turns into keys
    Doors turn into key doors

 Nintendork 13 13 5:09 pm
    You can have bosses hold keys
    So you can now have "mandatory boss battles"
    There's a new Super Expert mode in 100 Mari0 Challenge
    because it wasn't hard enough
    March 9 download
    Wot's this awful music
    "Sharp FE"
    It's "inspired" by Fire Embelem
    Keep English VO track
    and add English sub-titles
    I'm a JRPG fan

Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Sharp Fire Emblem X Shin Megami Tensei logo Genei Ibun Roku real title
Much better name than “Genei Ibun Roku #FE”.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:11 pm
    "Tokyo Mirage Sessions Sharp FE" is the full title
    Funny how that turned out.
    Now here is, uh, that online free-to-play game I forgot about.
    Lost Reavers from Bandai Namco
    Theme is colours and paint
    In Prism Island
    "Bring colour back to the land"
    Has a Paint Hammer
    Is this gonna be a Splatoon item
    No partners

Paper Mario Color Splash fan item Koopa Troopa Shy Guy Wii U
Sorry about the swearing, but this screenshot just about confirms the series is dead.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:13 pm
    (Here's Pokkén Tournament)
    They didn't specifically say
    "This is based off Sticker Star"
    But all it had were Toads
    No partners
    and a "Thing"-like fan
    Lucario looks cool here
    Too bad it's killing the video quality
    Launches March 18, 2016

 Nintendork 13 13 5:16 pm
    Pokkén Tournament Early Access Competition March 17
    Twilight Princess HD comes out March 4, 2016 (or tomorrow)
    "March is also a big month for Nintendo 3DS!"
    And then talks about My Nintendo
    "Play apps, purchase digital games → EARN POINTS"
    They say sign up for a Nintendo account now but I already did I wrote about it too
    Mini Mari0 & Friends Amiibo Challenge
    featuring deformed toy Bowser dancing
    This is basically a flash game
    You can buy it for free

Mini Mario & Friends amiibo Challenge title toy Bowser Peach Jr. Rosalina Diddy Luigi Yoshi Toad Donkey Kong
So...I'm actually really glad that I don't have an amiibo.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:18 pm
    and comes with an amiibo purchase in retail next month I guess
    Isabelle will now have a "summer outfit"
    "Virtual Console is now about to get an upgrade, EXCLUSIVE to New Nintendo 3DS"
    yooooo EarthBound is going to be on this
    And DKC2
    "Available March 3, 2016" "Available March 24" "Available April 14"
    They're all SNES games/
    Bill Trinen wants to turn his New 3DS XL into a portable SNES.
    GameFreak now has...
    ...a Solitaire-based horseracing game?
    Now come you can do horse gambling as its own game but not the Game Corner in new Pokémon games?

 Nintendork 13 13 5:20 pm
    "Pocket Card Jackey" in May
    Azure Gunvolt something 2
    (Is this basically Mega Man Zero?)
    "Azure Striker Gunvolt 2" on 3DS Summer 2016
    Now talking about Fire Emblem Fates.
    More DLC maps whoo
    Along with Fire Emblem Fates Revelation.
    Purchase Revelations in-game for Conquest and Birthright March 10 for $19.99

 Nintendork 13 13 5:22 pm
    Nohr and Hoshido are fighting for who gets to save a Corrin from another world?
    ...What the hell kind of plot is that?
    ew it's Linkle
    Beginning on launch day, you can buy a Season Pass for Hyrule Warriors Legends!
    Featuring a Ganondorf costume.
    They're talking about some annoying cross-console things.
    You can get the characters in Legends

Medli Hyrule Warriors Legends artwork 3DS The Legend of Zelda Wind Waker
Medli was a distinguished avian of honour for KoopaTV's Thanksgiving-Chanukkah special.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:24 pm
    "Disney Art Academy"
    So it's a Disney version of Pokémon Art Academy, which is a Pokémon version of Art Academy.
    "And yes, even Disney's Frozen"
    go away
    Bill Trinen talking about job system in Bravely Second.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:26 pm
    "The catmancer"
    Bravely Second demo is gonna be a thing soon. I never played the demo for the first Bravely Demo. :-(
    Something about Best Buy My Gamers Club gets the demo earlier.
    There's an art book you get if you do something.
    Dragon Quest VII coming to 3DS. "Essentially a brand-new game."

 Nintendork 13 13 5:29 pm
    "The story has been completely retranslated." (I wonder if people think they're CENSORING Dragon Quest VII!)
    Monster Hunter Cross is coming to America as Monster Hunter Generations
    debut trailer time
    (not actual gameplay)

Monster Hunter Generations logo Nintendo 3DS Capcom
Monster Hunter Generations is looking super-hardcore, until they show what Marth looks like.
For your eyes, I won't do that.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:31 pm
    You get bonus content if you have Monster Hunter 4 save data.
    It's on sale for 48 hours on the eShop from now.
    Is in that
    and he looks hideous
    I'm not gonna seek that out.
    "At E3, we introduced a game that left games with some questions."
    It's Metroid Prime Federation Force.
    Developers have great passion.
    Development started in 2009?
    "Early experiments began with our reliable partners with Next Level Games"

 Nintendork 13 13 5:33 pm
    (shout-out to Punch-Out!! Wii)
    They just trashed the DSi, which Federation Force was originally developed for.
    Then restarted the project when they saw the New 3DS XL. I guess they were sitting on it doing nothing for years.
    Samus Aran is in Bermuda during the game.
    So generic Galactic Federation Soldiers are the characters.
    Each player can play a different role.
    Healer, warrior, whatever.
    "absolutely belongs in the Metroid universe. That, I promise."

Samus Aran Bermuda system Metroid Prime: Federation Force chibi
Samus Aran just wants to disappear from these creeps into the Bermuda Triangle. Leave her alone.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:35 pm
    "But the galaxy is not at peace."
    These chibi soliders are adorable.
    I dunno why people hate it.
    Oh, what? The soldiers are going to
    Bermuda too.
    Apparently Bermuda is in an Ice Age.
    Space Pirates are ambushing them.
    The soldiers gotta work together to survive the Space Pirate attack.
    "The mission... isn't over yet."
    Stay tuned for more information.
    Metroid Prime Federation Force releases LATE SPRING 2016

 Nintendork 13 13 5:37 pm
    woah Rhythm Heaven
    Rhythm Heaven MegaMix
    Coming to North America this year.
    100 games, with 30 new ones.
    "Available later this year" on 3DS.
    "Let's take a look at one last game."
    "This time invaders have mechanised Dream Land."
    It's basically Triple Deluxe.
    wtf "Doctor Kirby"
    Kirby uses mechas
    The Robo Bot Army can copy opponent enemies and use modes.
    Awesome music.
    "Team Kirby Clash"
    is a sub-game

Kirby Planet Robobot mecha mech robot bot gundam
It's like Mega Man X, but with Kirby. Yeah.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:40 pm
    Available with download play.
    Downloading amiibo will give you a random ability except Mari0 which gives you fire
    and Link gives Sword and Kirby gives Smash Bros.
    Kirby, King Dedede, Meta Knight, and Waddle Dee.
    "Kirby Planet Robobot" coming out June 10
    "When we have more to reveal, we'll let you know. See you next time!"

 Nintendork 13 13 5:42 pm
    ...I guess the leak about Paper Mari0 on Wii U was true
    but the game seems dead-on-arrival from what we know.
    That's a shame. RIP that series
    ...That's my lasting impression.

Shigeru Miyamoto Star Fox Zero shirt pout face

    (Can't wait to see what the new Splatfest mechanics are. Guess that means new Splatfest coming soon, too!)

 Nintendork 13 13 5:46 pm
    ...also wtf I gotta talk to the producers of Mari0 & Sonic Rio 2016 Olympic Games

While Ludwig is watching the Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games trailer over again at .25x speed, what did you think about today's Nintendo Direct? Do you share Ludwig's sentiments about Paper Mario: Color Splash, and is there a game that was announced that you think Ludwig overlooked in attention?

For the Pokémon Direct from last week, click here.
Ludwig looked and looked, and he wasn't in the Wii U version's opening video for Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.
That solitaire horse-racing game, Pocket Card Jockey (amazing how Ludwig screwed up the spelling), is absolutely amazing and full of depth.
Exactly one year after this, Nintendo's next hardware system released.


  1. "'And yes, even Disney's Frozen' go away"

    Hahahahaha! You made me laugh with that comment.

    "Say, do I still have to write that request about the OLD Splatfest elements?"

    I guess now we have to wait and see what they are.

    1. Makin' ya laugh is what I do. :)

      Well, we know wot they are now. All of it seems to be centered around match-making. Will that solve problems...?

  2. I want Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE. I'm glad it has an English title now. It's cool the acronym TMS is SMT backward. I look forward to playing it.



    *staves off thoughts of Paper Mario*

    1. (I like to think the TMS/SMT thing is a coincidence. ...It was probably intentional.)

      I'm assuming YOUR article on your website for Friday will be about Color Splash.

      I really, really can't remember that name. Every time I've had to look it up to remind myself it's "Color Splash".

    2. I should write about Color Splash. I'm tempted to keep ignoring it and finally review Tales of Zestiria instead. I don't want to THINK about Color Splash.

      .........What chance do we have it ISN'T Sticker Star 2.0?

    3. And so you wrote about it.

      What chance do you have? Little, since they literally said they hope Sticker Star would be the future of the series.

    4. When did they say that? I must have blocked it from my memory, or hoped they changed their minds.

    5. From my article “Are We Too Harsh on Miyamoto?” discussing the Iwata Asks for Sticker Star:

      Leads one to the conclusion that the Intelligent Systems team was basically depressed for months that Miyamoto upended what would surely be a better product than Sticker Star. The Miyamoto lackey of the interview, Taro Kudo, stated this at the end:

      "Well, as mentioned before, the mechanics present new challenges and the gameworld represents a new start. We worked hard so that this game would become the new standard for future Paper Mario games, so please play it to the fullest!"

    6. T_T

      Why didn't the hatred it received convince them otherwise? And I know people will cite its sales, but that doesn't work as well when you take the systems' respective install bases into account.

      Someone said they think Nintendo only wants one Mario RPG series, which is why Mario & Luigi hasn't been hurt (too much) but Paper Mario is now considered action adventure. :/ What do you think?

    7. Uh... I dunno. Miyamoto is tone-deaf.

      I dunno if it's because they only want one RPG series, because they could just never work on a PM game ever again and drop it. I'm seeing PM as their go-to experimental franchise for when Intelligent Systems wants to try out new weird things in greater depth than a Warioware gimmick.

      Like how HAL does weird experiments with Kirby.

    8. If they want to experiment, I wish they'd created a new Mario spin-off series to do it with...

    9. ...But how will they keep the paper puns?


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