I never wanted Splatoon's Splatfests to come to this. Ever since Autobots vs. Decepticons, we knew sponsored Splatfests were possible. (Well, ever since Japan's Red Fox vs. Green Tanuki Splatfests, which were their second Splatfest, but no one knows what the hell those are, much less that they're noodles brands.) I just never thought Nintendo would be so self-serving as to advertise themselves.
Even more unheard of, is that it'd be The Pokémon Company behind it — and they're isolationists!
|Pokémon presents... |
A Splatfest that will finally settle an old score!
That's right. Pokémon presents. As in, about to show something. You're not getting any presents from these people. Pokémon Red, Blue, and Yellow coming out on the Virtual Console isn't a present. You gotta pay for it this February 27th. Or later if it's not a day one purchase for you.
Anyway, this Splatfest tasks North America and Europe (and Oceania) to choose between Pokémon Red and Pokémon Blue. For Japan, it's between Pokémon Red and Pokémon Green, so they have a different graphic.
The goal of this article is to convince you to give Marie another try: Support Team Pokémon Blue version!
Why? I mean, look at Blastoise. I feel a certain affinity towards him. I'll have to think about why.
|Blastoise is WAY cooler.|
Pokémon Blue version was also the version that I myself played the game on. I'm not saying this as a victim of nostalgia, but I'm saying that I've been making good decisions for decades now. After all, it IS the 20th anniversary of these games coming out. (20th in Japan only, but hey, that's globalisation for ya.)
|I didn't know the music was considered 4-bit. That's not many bits to work with. But yeah, turns out Game Boy WAS 4-bit audio.|
There were certain version exclusives — Pokémon obtainable in Red, but not Blue, and vice-versa. Callie and Marie made a big deal out of Vulpix, which are exclusive to Pokémon Blue. On the contrary, Red had Growlithe, but who cares about Growlithe? The best canine Pokémon are obviously Lillipup's evolutionary family. I will say this: Having Meowth and Persian be exclusive to one version (being Pokémon Blue) is a horrible idea, because Pay Day is the only way to get money in the game after you beat every trainer, besides going through the Elite 4 over and over. Judd is on Meowth's side here.
Oh! I think I know what the deal is with Blastoise! Check this out, guys. I finally figured it out:
|It's Blastoise and King Dad! Don't they look kinda similar? Bowser doesn't have cannons, but other than that...|
No one in the universe has figured this out, right? I'm the first?
Besides the remarkable similarity between King Bowser Koopa and Blastoise, there's the fact that Charizard is overrated garbage.
If you want to approach this Splatfest from a meta-perspective, take this into thought: Pokémon Red is certainly going to win in popularity because more people favour Charizard. Not because Charizard is better or anything, but because Nintendo and The Pokémon Company put him everywhere, even Super Smash Bros. 4. It's like how Donald Trump leads the polls in part because of his grossly disproportional amount of media coverage. Donald Trump gets all this attention because he starts flame wars with everyone else running for president, flying around on his jet every night. Charizard gets all this attention because he uses Flamethrower on everyone else he battles, flying around with his wings every time. Charizard gets annihilated by Stealth Rocks whenever he comes in, and Donald Trump treats words like sticks and stones breaking his bones.
|It's Donald Trump and Charizard, both giving a thumbs-up.|
Is that a vote you really want to cast?
Join Team Blue.
Or we'll sic plushies on you.
|Marie is on Team Green, which would be the Japanese version of the Splatfest. Of course, LeafGreen is also the remake for Blue.|
Photo provided by ShinyGirafarig.
|Plushwig posing with Pokémon Blue version AND Pokémon LeafGreen version!|
Just a reminder that Ludwig isn't a Genwunner or anything. He wouldn't recommend you actually go out and buy Pokémon Blue when it's out on February 27 in North America. But he would strongly recommend that you side with Blastoise, Marie, and Pokémon Blue in Splatoon!
This Splatfest is a stealth tribute to Satoru Iwata, because without him, Pokémon Red and Pokémon Blue would've never officially existed in English.
Ludwig would put first generation Pokémon way above Undertale, though.
Donald Trump and King Bowser Koopa were also on opposing sides for the Team Pizza vs. Team Burger Splatfest.
There's Nintendo Direct time dedicated to the 20th anniversary for these games. PLUS a new announcement...!
Donald Trump has found a new Pokémon to be modeled after: Yungoos.
Bowser might even have a stronger counterpart than Blastoise.