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Friday, February 20, 2015

Happy Birthdays: Noxial and Rawk!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Wishing my colleagues well.

Since we did not have KoopaTV articles at this time last year, this will be the first article of its kind: Today, February 20, it is Noxial's birthday! (You know, the girl we just hired.) But it's also RawkHawk2010's birthday! (You know, the...well, you should know him already.)

With two great KoopaTV employees suddenly becoming older on the same day, did you expect us not to acknowledge it?

"Ludwig, this is as filler as it gets." Hey, we're going to update yesterday's article on Joe Darke tomorrow to tell you how his trial went. That's a big deal. KoopaTV: Our first time as a courtroom reporter! Makes up for there not being another Zimmerman trial this month.

I tried figuring out how their birthdays went (that's why this article is published so late). ...Their stories are either depressing or boring. But here's a lesson from the depressing story: Keeping a birthday person waiting at a restaurant for over an hour and having poor service on that specific day isn't good customer relationship management or good service.

Remember to follow the TV Troopas on Instagram. Noxial would love that. You don't have to do anything for Rawk.

At KoopaTV, we praise good customer service and trash bad customer service. While this restaurant (which will be unnamed out of... pity) is usually known for great service, apparently today just wasn't the day. And that (on a special day) can be particularly traumatic.

KoopaTV isn't in the business of consulting (see our Disclaimers) but a piece of advice: The best thing you can do to have your (potential) customers be happy even when you can't actually serve their needs is to be transparent with them. Or at least, make them think you're being transparent. You don't even have to be honest with them, but if they think you are, that's great! For example, if you massively failed to correctly anticipate the demand for a product line, you can publicly blame the West Coast port being shut down! Hey, you're giving people a reason and saying sorry and whatever. Better than just not telling people anything and leaving them (figuratively... or literally, in some cases) stranded without any clue. If people think you just gave up and don't give a shit about them, they'll remember that and have a grudge.

That's why KoopaTV tries to have awesome customer service to y'all. We're available to help and respond within 24 hours, often much sooner. If you're gonna have a grudge against us, it should be because of our content, not because of our service! We love you. Similarly, we love our staff members (not including the one former one) so they get dedicated happy birthday articles.

...oh wait Kamek never got one. ...Sorry.

How rare is it that two different, unrelated KoopaTV staff members would have a birthday on the same day? Pretty cool. Ludwig's is in December and he usually gets videogame-related stuff. Or money.

Ludwig got a dedicated happy birthday article in 2013 as well. Herman Cain's birthday is on the same day. ...Okay.
For 2014, Mark Block got a birthday article, and he's not even on our staff.
Our happy birthday to Noxial was for nothing, because on that day she left to join ISIS. 
Here's an article dedicated to customer service. For Customer Service Week 2015!
Rawk's 2017 birthday shares with Presidents Day.

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