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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Chrom Has Been FIRED From KoopaTV!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Crest of Flame and the Meaning of Truth.

We have an announcement to make. First, watch this trailer if you have not already:




Now then. We would like to announce that KoopaTV staff member YoshiRider123 has been fired. YoshiRider123 is otherwise known as "Chrom" on the once-popular-but-now-dying Nintendo forum, NSider2, the fan-made sequel to Nintendo of America's official Nintendo NSider Forums. We cannot accept such a pathetic (based on the trailer) guy like that on our staff.

Chrom Super Smash Bros. For Wii U anime cutscene sleeping on the ground
Look at him. Just pitiful.

So it turns out that KoopaTV and Sakurai had our trailers mixed up. You see, we've been planning to fire Chrom for a while now. Literally.

Captain Falcon Punch Lucina Super Smash Bros. For Wii U trailer cutscene anime
The fire from Captain Falcon's fist was our method of execution. It was either that, or Ike's new blue flames.

And Sakurai, all along, was planning to announce George Zimmerman in Super Smash Bros. 4. Something happened to that. I guess they were switched at the last minute. Some say Monolith Soft broke into Namco and did that. Others think something else. That's not the point here.

So, why did YoshiRider123 get fired? After all, it's not unheard of for KoopaTV staff members to be completely humiliated in front of hundreds of thousands of people.

Kamek Yoshi's Island Baby Bowser flattened squished gif cutscene
Here's Kamek getting squished.
Bowser Paper Mario The Thousand-Year Door versus Rawk Hawk gif jump cutscene
Here's RawkHawk2010 getting squished.

Ludwig Von Koopa Super Mario Bros. 3 NES sprite Koopaling
And here is me looking like crap.

The truth is, is that he is instilling NeoGAF-like policies to NSider2. He is the head moderator there, actually. He has lost his interesting personality he once had years ago in our [Koopa Keep] AIM Blast. He is now a shell.

A KoopaTV-hating shell. How can shells hate KoopaTV? Our favicon is a shell! Our logo is made up of shells! Yet, the fact is, under the leadership of this Chrom guy, KoopaTV was actually banned from NSider2.

NSider2 totalitarian authoritarian dictatorship bans KoopaTV censorship
Oh, uh, that article was totally not a prank at the time.

Upon trying to figure out just why KoopaTV was banned, I got banned from NSider2. Not before I lost the ability to send PMs (because I sent PMs to the moderation to try to get my question answered) and was put on a moderator queue where a moderator had to approve of my posts before they showed up in public. All without explanation from the NSider2 staff. It was like being held in Guantanamo Bay: Held without a trial or charges or an explanation. I tried to send numerous e-mails to their support line, but to this day I have gotten no reply. In the time it's taken between those e-mails and now, the President of the United States sent a reply back. That's my limit as to when I know I'm being purposefully ignored. That puts NSider2, and Chrom, at EA levels. And we know with EA they're covering something up.

So, the decision to ban KoopaTV was from YoshiRider123 himself. Why would a KoopaTV staff member ban KoopaTV but allow hate-mongering websites like Stormfront, Jew Watch, and worst of all, NeoGAF? Because YoshiRider123 is a hateful person, and not just because he's a Taliban member. Which is okay if there is justification for it.

But there isn't.

He's afraid that KoopaTV would "disrupt the community" like it did in NeoGAF. In particular, he's concerned that Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! is such a good game that all NSider2 would do is talk about it all the time. This is opposed to all the discussion in the forum being about how to keep the forum from being inactive.

YoshiRider123 is embarrassed to be associated with KoopaTV, and quite frankly, we're embarrassed to be associated with a guy who spams eShop sales on his Twitter account trying to become some sort of news guru. That type of thing, unlike commentary, doesn't even require any skill. A robot could do it. You could count on one hand the amount of contributions he's made to KoopaTV, and he doesn't even recognize its purpose despite being in the AIM Blast. That's really bad from a team spirit perspective,  a "what the hell has this guy been doing here for years?" perspective, and a "this guy has a comprehension problem" perspective.

Meanwhile, Captain Falcon represents everything right about KoopaTV's values. Fearless badassery.

Captain Falcon Lucina fight cutscene
Deflects Lucina's sword with his hands.

He is the perfect representative for our wrath against evil doers. Remember, he had already defeated Chrom by the time the trailer began! KoopaTV is all about truth and levity. Well, for levity, just look at Falcon's amazing smirks throughout his trailer. He's quite amazing about it, if you've ever finished F-Zero GX (I know I haven't).

And truth? One of his theme songs is literally "The Meaning of Truth."


Captain Falcon knows the meaning. KoopaTV knows the meaning.

YoshiRider123/Chrom? He doesn't. And he refuses to know it, since he is actively trying to get NeoGAF policies on his forum. So we let him go.


Ludwig is worried about the vitality of the KoopaTV staff. First Rawk took a leave of absence, and now this. What sort of misfortune will befall Kamek? Stay tuned to KoopaTV, updated every weekday! If you would like to join our gang of misfits, look here for more information!


For more information on how NeoGAF-like policies are bad for communities and what those policies even are, look here.
Fire Emblem: Awakening, the game Chrom is from, won KoopaTV's 213 Game of THAT Year award.
NSider2 under YoshiRider123 is a complete disaster, and suffers from being a hotbed of computer viruses.
Let's look back at a time when YoshiRider123 was a fun person who made... uh... Picross Let's Plays.
Chrom has now been fired from NSider2, his own site.

19 comments :

  1. Ayo Koops let me write for you ayy lmao

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You the same Health who wrote http://koopatv.blogspot.com/2013/07/dragon-questing-in-west.html , right?

      'cause I liked that. And I've referenced that post a few times before. Most recently (and memorably) here:

      http://koopatv.blogspot.com/2014/06/ask-capcom-to-port-ace-attorney.html

      Delete
    2. Aye aye, glad you liked it.

      Delete
    3. Yeah, I'd be cool with that.

      ...Let's talk about this more. Later. :o

      Delete
  2. These articles remind me of those that appear on Cracked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's supposed to be a good thing to you, right?

      Delete
    2. Albeit fewer articles and less popular.

      Delete
    3. Well one is backed by a big corporation, and the other... isn't. :O

      Delete
    4. Joke --->
      Head

      Of course, one started as a magazine. I'm not a noob.

      Delete
    5. I know, I know.

      ...So I'll take it as "Yes, that's a good thing, Ludwig. Keep it up!"
      And then I'll be like, "Oh thank you! Your comments keep KoopaTV inspired to keep generating great content!"

      Delete
  3. You Looked Like Krap In Your Sprite So They Gave You A New Look... Blue Hair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always had blue hair.

      http://www.mariowiki.com/images/thumb/c/c4/SMB3_LudwigVonKoopa.jpg/180px-SMB3_LudwigVonKoopa.jpg

      That famous artwork was made the same time as my sprite.

      One reason I will always hate SMB3 and SMW is how badly my sprites came out.

      Delete
    2. I think it's a reasonable reason.

      Delete
  4. "Oh, uh, that article was totally not a prank at the time." At the time?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As opposed to now.

      But that post attempt was on April 1 itself. I'm not gonna out it as an April Fools joke on the same day!

      Delete
  5. This article made me return from my non-KoopaTV-reading hiatus, as it was a pretty good read.
    I'd go as far to say, it's one of your best articles.
    A YoshiRider123-less KoopaTV is a KoopaTV worth reading in my book. No, uh.. pun intended. :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm amused that an article from last year got you to break your hiatus.

      I should reshare old articles more often. Which I try to do on Twitter but lately the trending topics are total gibberish.

      Delete

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