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Friday, July 4, 2014

The Shell-Spangled Banner

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Celebrating our independence.

It is about time that KoopaTV get some sort of theme song. And... today, that still won't happen. 'cause we're not going to use this in the future.

According to Iggy and Lemmy Koopa, the Koopa Kingdom pledge of allegiance is as follows:
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Lands of Dinosaur World.
And to the repulsiveness for which he stands,
One Koopa underground, reprehensible,
With lizards and Goombas for all!"
But since today just happens to be July 4, we should recite the KoopaTV version of the Star-Spangled Banner, shouldn't we? Well, here we go.

Koopa version of the American Flag.
The Shell-Spangled Banner itself.

Oh say can you read, by your monitor's dull light,
What we proudly hailed as hard-hitting commentary?
Whose amusing prose and hard shells, always starting a fight,
We've been here over a year, always defending the contrary.
And with NeoGAF's intolerant glare, and the reactionary scares,
Gives proof ev'ry night that the best trait is self-aware.
KoopaTV's shell-spangled banner rises high and proud,
Over the Internet of the free, breaking bound'ries of what's allowed.
So there are like three more verses of the Star-Spangled Banner but I don't even like the song. I think we can all agree that the Confederate anthem is a lot better. It's plenty more upbeat than the somber Star-Spangled Banner. That song doesn't even make sense. That's why everyone forgets the words to it. It's not intuitive at all. So go listen to the much better national anthem below:

Either way, that Shell-Spangled Banner is going places. Like the trash. Have a happy 4th of July!

Kid Icarus Uprising Pit Palutena fireworks cannon July 4
“This is what Sakurai's pic of the day should've been. Palutena and Pit enjoying fireworks!”

KoopaTV's staff can't play Super Smash Bros. Brawl on July 4 anymore. Whoops.

See last year's Artistic Corner entry on July 4. It's probably better than this.
Ludwig ended up singing this song.
Ludwig made another song — a Christmas Carol, actually. Enjoy it (lyrics-only) here.
KoopaTV's official theme song is here, made a year later.


  1. Your Mii could probably sing that in Tomodachi Life.
    Just saying.

    1. I could probably sing that in real life.
      Just saying.

    2. But your Mii would have backup dancers!
      (Although he wouldn't have the correct melody...)

    3. (...Well it's not like I was particularly on-tune there.)

    4. (.........Better than I could've done.)

    5. (...Now I'm interested in your singing voice. ♪)

    6. I will spare you that and just say that when I was in high school chorus, my friend and I used to joke that the reason we stood together was because our voices would cancel each other out. And the teacher once called me up special to whisper that I really needed to start singing in my "big girl voice." ....I didn't stay in chorus very long... xD

    7. I have many memories of school chorus...

    8. Chorus... eh. I have much fonder memories of band.

    9. I was never in band.

      ...I've had a lot of experience with "band kids", though.

    10. Positive experiences, I hope. Because my band was awesome. Well, mostly awesome. There were a bunch who were only in because their parents made them join. Those of us who WANTED to be there were awesome. ;)


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