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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Play DEFEND ANITA SARKEESIAN right here!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV's Christmas gift to you is a new game to play, for free, right here!

It has been a while since we released a new game, hasn't it? Here we go: It is called Defend Anita Sarkeesian and it is the spiritual sequel (in revenge fantasy form) to the Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian game released back in July 2012 (not by KoopaTV or anyone affiliated with us). By the way, you can't play Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian anywhere on the Internet right now. There was a file dump of it... that was removed midway through the development of Defend Anita Sarkeesian.

All you need to play this Defend Anita Sarkeesian game is a mouse or some kind of clicking device, and Adobe Flash Player! It's right after the page-break, so please read more.

By the way... the origins of this game are... perplexing. As in, KoopaTV didn't come up with it. We were used as code-monkeys in a similar way to how Namco was used as code-monkeys for Masahiro Sakurai for Super Smash Bros. 4. More on that after the page-break as well. Also after the page-break are some media materials for you to use if you want to cover this game.



If the embed does not work for you, click here to play it on Scratch. http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/41015664/ 

NOTE: AS OF AUGUST 2ND, THE GAME HAS BEEN TAKEN OFF SCRATCH. Click this blurb for the EXPLANATION! If you still wish to play it, contact Ludwig and he can send you the Scratch file for you to import.

Note 2: As of November 15 2015, Ludwig has returned it back to Scratch with minor adjustments.

Be sure to play it with YOUR SOUND ON and to go through the whole credits.

Did you enjoy it? Or are you just reading the text below the embed before you try it? Well, as I was saying, we didn't come up with this idea. It turns out that we got an anonymous threat saying that we must develop this game or else bad things will happen. And we treated this threat as credible since not only was a copy delivered to my e-mail address, but a physical letter was also delivered to our Sierra Leone office. That's serious. We have wanted to work with authorities on this, but, uh, there are some downsides to doing that. (We are the same people who advocated the declaration of war against the United States, so, uh, yeah. ...Also they've been into brutality lately, I hear. And Koopa Kingdom's authorities can't really handle Earth matters!)

So we put effort into making the game so we wouldn't die. We followed the "design document" provided in a virus-free attachment. ...It wasn't the most specific thing, so yes, I did take creative liberties, one of which you can hear in the credits. Just because I'm tasked with making a game at gunpoint doesn't mean I can't have fun with it, right? Our games have certain consistent qualities we gotta have and be proud of. I think our anonymous unknown fellow acknowledges that or else they wouldn't have chosen KoopaTV to make the game for them. After all, they must have really liked Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!, and, may I add, everyone else who has actually played that has liked it as well.

While we do not know who the anonymous person or organization is, we have our ideas (speculation) of who would hate us enough. Perhaps it was one of these...
  1. #GamerGate, after trashing them. Besides, they're well-known for sending death threats. A little unlikely given the subject matter, though.
  2. Feminist Frequency or Anita Sarkeesian, given the subject matter. They also have a vested interest in our demise after our many take-downs of their philosophy and questioning their tax status. Alternatively, her followers, including Brianna Wu, notable for being an ignoramus and blocking our Twitter account.
  3. The Choice: Texas developers, after making fun of them for failing to release a completed game, and after repeatedly antagonizing them asking for the truth on Twitter (Allyson Whipple has blocked our Twitter account). They are not only radical feminists, but also claim to be game designers.
  4. RawkHawk2010, after putting him on unpaid administrative leave. Somewhat likely, given how ridiculous Defend Anita Sarkeesian's concept is. Also because he is quite public about his love for Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!.
  5. YoshiRider123, after firing him and writing a very negative article about it. We also put NSider2, which he is now the head admin of, in our sources-to-stay-away-from list. YoshiRider123, otherwise known as Chrom, helped create Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! and has some dark secrets he is trying to hide. It would be completely appropriate for him to concoct a cowardly death threat!
  6. Pat O'Brien, after demonising Electronic Arts for years. Most recently we leaked the real truth about the "Madden Curse" movie.
  7. Herman Cain, for publishing his address. ...Still, that would contradict what I wrote in the #GamerGate article about how conservatives don't send death threats to people.
  8. Speaking of Republicans, how about Rick Santorum? He must think we're awful people, and he seems to not like anyone — and this game does not really pick sides. This is after we fact-checked one of his commercials and outed him as a hypocrite to his faith, something exclusive to KoopaTV you won't find anywhere else.
  9. Aisha Tyler, because the KoopaTV article denouncing her was apparently widely publicised and condemned for its anti-feminism. Not only is she a feminist, but as you can see from that article, she loves guns, so the subject matter is very appropriate.
  10. The #Miiquality movement, since we absolutely tore into them for a series of articles. This includes the LGBT Technology Partnership.
  11. North Korea, on the basis that even before all of the articles we've written lately about them hacking Sony, we wrote negatively about them in defense of George Zimmerman. North Korea is, of course, known for suppressing outlets that disagree with them.
We absolutely hate the idea of us or anyone else being silenced for free speech, and as such we are offering a reward for anyone who has accurate information that will lead to the identity of whoever the hell threatened us to make this game.

$10 Nintendo eShop card sound good?

Is that not enough? You say people offer hundreds or thousands of dollars for a reward? Hey, $10 is a lot for an organization that apparently can't afford its own domain name! And it just goes to show that whoever is threatening our freedom of speech and livelihood... they are cowards. Why? Because they're going for the defenseless small guy.

As promised, a media kit:

Title: Defend Anita Sarkeesian
Platforms: PC; browser-based (Flash)
Price: Free
Features:
  • Three possible endings
  • Voice-acting
  • An original song in the credits
  • Point-and-click gameplay is easily accessible
    • An improvement, gameplay-wise, over Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian. In this game, where you click actually matters.
  • Ridiculous sense of humour
  • Has a moral
Screenshots:

The title screen for Defend Anita Sarkeesian, the sequel to the Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian game.
Defend Anita Sarkeesian title screen.
Point-and-click gameplay for Defend Anita Sarkeesian, the sequel to the Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian game.
The main gameplay screen for Defend Anita Sarkeesian.

Anita Sarkeesian must make tough choices in Defend Anita Sarkeesian, the sequel to the Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian game.
Your decisions matter in Defend Anita Sarkeesian!

Screenshots do not do the game justice, though. So please, do yourself a favour and play it! (Until you give it that justice, we will endlessly chant #NOJUSTICENOPEACE!)


Working on videogames takes a long time, but with this project out of the way, KoopaTV can put efforts on other things. Are you going to expect a new videogame from KoopaTV every year now?


Ludwig would prefer you give any future requests free of threats, and to the comments section of KoopaTV's Requests page.
Defend Anita Sarkeesian is really about defending the First Amendment.
Defend Anita Sarkeesian was voted Best Artistic Corner Contribution for 2014, and was a runner-up for Best PC Game for 2014.
KoopaTV has produced an ADVERTISEMENT VIDEO for Defend Anita Sarkeesian!
The credits music is here.
Here is the voice-acting to the game.
As of August 2nd 2015, Defend Anita Sarkeesian has been taken down by Scratch's administration. Read why here.
KoopaTV and anti-feminist Karen Straughan have an interview about Defend Anita Sarkeesian here. It's quite informative.

12 comments :

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks.

      (We wouldn't recommend this for the young'ns.)

      Delete
  2. It's my new favorite game of all time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...Excellent.

      Did you play Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!, too?

      (Technically that's better in every way.)

      Delete
  3. Ludwig your game is so broken that literally none of the links to it work.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is this website for white knight faggots? You complained about her being beaten up buy you yourself use violence against her critics? Biggest hypocrisy ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol
      So I take it you...
      1. Didn't play the game
      2. Didn't read anything else on KoopaTV

      Delete
  5. Are you actually this delusional about your self-importance, thinking someone semi-famous would care about what you write, or is this just a joke? I'm guessing it's the latter, but in today's world, one can never know.

    As for the game itself, I can't say it didn't exceed my expectations, but that's mainly because I had none. The voice acting (especially with the song at the end) was rather atrocious, but at least you're better at coding than the average person, even if point and click stuff IS quite basic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh, which someone semi-famous are you referencing there?

      You can figure out KoopaTV's attitude on jokes, feminism, and other things pretty quickly if you read around!

      Anyway, the song is amazing in its own right. Strangely catchy. I like my own voice-acting so I'm biased, yeah.

      But thanks for the coding compliment.

      From a coding/gameplay point-of-view, the goal was to have it be better than Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian by Bendilin. Which is a pretty low goal, and I think Defend Anita Sarkeesian easily passed it! BUAS let you click anywhere on the screen and it'd affect a pre-determined area of Anita's face. DAS gives each part of the face/whatever its own hit points and hit detection!

      And it has some semblance of story!

      The Earthbound music in the game is because BUAS had that, too. We had a lot of attention-to-detail here!

      Delete

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