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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Koopa Culture Warrior

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - VGX through a culture lens.

I might very well be the only social conservative to watch through the entirety of VGX. As an old white religious straight male, the fact that VGX was made especially to appeal to a certain demographic in America is disturbing to me. So let's go over the tragedies in our culture that made this happen. All we can do about it is pray to G-d.

A recent photo of the author.

#1: The acceptance of tattoos and other changes to your body.

Abbie Heppe VGX tattoos

The Bible warns against tattoo-ing yourself and defiling your body. There's a lot of good wisdom in there. I forgot who this person above was, but she should heed those words. They only make you look worse. We already have a slew of hideous people on the show. Show some decency.

#2: Thinking that transgender and genital jokes are funny or appropriate.
When that incompetent Joel guy made that Wario sexual reassignment surgery joke, I thought it was terrible but at least I thought that if Wario is being mentioned within minutes of VGX beginning that the show might be a lot friendlier to Nintendo than what I initially predicted. Unfortunately, VGX wasn't friendly to Nintendo at all and it pretty much began and ended with that Wario joke.

Right before that was "You can also watch on Twitch and Steam, which I've incidentally named My Genitals." That doesn't even make sense. Of course it's not funny. He just wanted to say "genitals", didn't he?

#3: Integration of hip-hop into modern culture.
Apparently, hip-hop groups are generally relevant. Why else would those useless imbeciles named Loiter Squad be at VGX? They have nothing to do with videogames. Anyway, what's the problem with hip-hop? Well, as noted during our VGX Log, during the Grand Theft Auto V concert, while the rappers were spouting off their misogynist lyrics, the women in the crowd were just bobbing their heads. They were enjoying it. What happened to righteous indignation? Why are they supporting this institution that exists to hate women? Even KoopaTV enemy Al Sharpton claims to be against this (although he turns coat as soon as money is involved). So what's going on? These lyrics are not only being enjoyed by women, but they're also in our videogames? Our best-sellers? How can KoopaTV sit here, support videogames, and see that this is the result of what that videogame support rendered? The whole culture is going to be doomed because of this.

#4: Worshiping new idols of the Internet age.
During VGX, there were these periodic "VIRAL" bits where the hosts got to sit back and take a break despite claiming multiple times they had no breaks. I'm not going to embed or link to any of them, but these come from YouTube's biggest stars. Without exception, these were all terrible. But people literally go gaga over these punks. People don't even think for themselves anymore. They just cling to the nearest "snarky" LPer or YT celebrity and parrot them. There's no more critical thinking. Here at KoopaTV we would love it if you agreed with us on everything, but you're meant to challenge us.

#5: Zombies and shooters.
This has been a huge problem in the industry lately about all these topics. But every game in VGX besides Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze had one of these as a selling point. Now, I'm all for promoting guns within our culture. But it has to be safe and responsible. And as a videogame designer, there are much better ways of interacting with the world other than shooting at it. As for zombies, they're long past their expiration date.

All of these things are hurting the culture. There's also a general lack of respect for other people going around. We're all G-d's creatures created in His Image. We gotta keep that in mind.

Ludwig is using hair-dye to keep his hair blue. It's really grey. You can visit him at the old folk's home, or you could Follow him at NNID PrinceOfKoopas. But he'd really appreciate a visit. It gets lonely there.

If you found Ludwig promoting cultural conservatism to be uncomfortable, click here to read him trashing another social conservative.
Ludwig connects his cultural conservatism to his traditional pro-Nintendo fandom quite clearly here.


  1. I found this article enjoyable. n_n

  2. I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds tattoos hideous. Tattoos used to be a way for certain kinds of guys to prove how "tough" they are, but when everyone has one, it doesn't mean anything other than they're a slave to trends.

    1. Over 10 years later, I still don't think tattoos are a positive on anyone's body.

      Though nowadays I'd say the bigger issue that's really popular are stuff like nose rings / septum rings, which have never in the history of humanity made someone look better.

  3. Tattoos are a lot more common than nose rings, though. O_O

    1. Oh, gosh, 32% of Americans have a tattoo? That's more than I expected.

      I don't think reliable or recent stats exist on body piercings, but according to this provider of them, earlobe piercings are the most popular. Followed by nipple piercings.
      There's this:

      So tattoos are more common but body piercings in strange areas are also growing in popularity.


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