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Monday, June 1, 2020

KoopaTV's May 2020 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - May was hardly a month, but boy did KoopaTV go hard!

Does anyone want to read a newsletter going over May 2020 from KoopaTV right now? Well, at least a few dozen of you should want to. It'll be good, possibly uplifting stuff. Promise. Koopa's honour.

Let's start with great content: 

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of May 2020

Everything on KoopaTV is worth reading, and there were SO MANY GOOD CANDIDATES for this, but you should super-check these out (in chronological order...which makes my recency bias obvious):
  1. KoopaTV's Seven-Year Anniversary: Seven Star Stamps for SUPERSTAR!  — KoopaTV's fantastic seven-year anniversary article, which you'll want to read if you're interested in either Mario Party 3, or me bragging about myself/this site.
  2. World Turtle Day: Rescuing Fire-Attacked Turtles (from MARIO!) — This month's Enlightenment Movement article, from the important topic of World Turtle Day 2020 and Mario's impact on a cold case (involving a hot fire!) in 2016.
  3. Memorial to the Fallen Robotic Operating Buddies — The tragedy of the underappreciated robots, last seen in Super Smash Bros. Brawl's Subspace Emissary story. They're wiped out now.
  4. Team Ketchup WON the Splatfest? What timeline are we in?! — While I dislike Squidwig taking over my account and publishing an unauthorised article, I suppose he does raise a good point that I'm seeing discussed in other places about how the chaos of his world is causing things to be undone. Though he's quite rude towards me.
  5. Xenoblade Chronicles: A Modern Classic — Heavy Lobster makes the case that Xenoblade Chronicles has a lasting legacy, despite its unlikely initial release situation. Now Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition is out.

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of May 2020

In my view, y'all gotta be funnier and embody the spirit of LEVITY in your comments. There's truth in what most of you say, but be more... light-hearted, will ya? Especially in these times. Anyway, here are comments I'd like to showcase:
  1. “I came back to respond that I actually didn’t know about the health hazard with dryers, so I guess I learned something new. Thanks.

    However, what about the issue with recycled paper? I personally am fine with it (with the newfound information, I may prefer it), although I would agree on it looking pointless to promote.” — Nandin Lopez 
  2. “I agree that the story already seems more fleshed out, and that other than that the trailer simply didn't impart enough reliable data on anything else to judge yet. As for the Toads, I'm pretty sure them being crappy allies is the rule rather than the exception.

    The emphasis on the fandom's desire for a Paper Mario game with partners is something I noted on social media during initial reactions, as well. My theory is that between having them replaced with Pixls in Super Paper Mario, and getting completely starved for characters with actual depth in Sticker Star--and then getting tossed some bread and water in that regard in the form of the Koopalings in Color Splash--people are latching on to the idea of bringing back partners as an easy, previously established, and in their minds simple for the developers to implement way to restore that vibrancy of characters.

    Now, as for the battle system. I've heard conflicting information there--most seem to think Cards and Stickers have indeed been done away with but there was one guy who seemed to think Cards would still be a thing. Well, one thing that DOES seem to be done away with is, well, Things. Absolutely no indication of Things being a thing in the trailer whatsoever, which to me is a good sign. Because honestly, even if they still fail to incentivize players to not skip every battle they possibly can, I will be genuinely happy with PM: tOK's combat as long as they make their boss fights play like ACTUAL BOSS FIGHTS.

    Color Splash made some strides in that direction with the later Koopaling battles, particularly Larry and Lemmy's, but this is one road that needs to finish being travelled sooner rather than later. No more puzzle bosses in my Paper Mario, dangit! And that's my thoughts.” — Lheticus Videre
  3. “As a writer, I'm baffled that you think setting a story in a real-world city is a shortcut to avoid worldbuilding. I tend to use fictional settings because developing my own worldbuilding is easier than doing all the necessary research to accurately portray a real, existing location.

    Also, I doubt they do it for "Japanophiles" considering the games we were talking about were games made by Japanese developers for a Japanese audience first and foremost. (Games by western developers set in Tokyo might play into that more, but that's the same argument people use to criticize western developers making games with anime-style graphics.)

    This is like saying if I wrote a horror story set in Pittsburgh, that would be a shortcut just to be cool, but if I wrote a horror story set in a nearly identical city called Rittzsburgh, that would be fine.” — Samantha Lienhard
According to my searching abilities, some other things that Samantha Lienhard has been baffled by on KoopaTV are:
  1. If Lindsay Lohan would hypothetically win her “This Grand Theft Auto V character looks just like me” lawsuit but Manuel Noriega would lose his “This Call of Duty: Black Ops II character resembles me” lawsuit.
  2. Paper Mario: Sticker Star has turn-based combat
  3. Anita Sarkeesian made a video of twenty-five spurious invisible benefits of gaming while male, instead of focusing on only a few legitimate ones
  4. The genre choices of various digital distribution platforms when classifying Ace Attorney, such as role-playing and simulation
This might be the first time in six years that she's actually baffled by an opinion I've expressed, which I find to be incredibly impressive.

The other comments were nice too. Here's the worst comment I got in May, which was at the start of it:
  1. “Eww your names disgusting and dorky im out bye bitch” — Unknown
This guy was talking a lot of trash. In fact, he also claimed he was “being nice” and then immediately followed up with a slur that I'd rather not repeat in the newsletter. (But it's in the comments section there if you wanna see.) All because I don't want to give the guy $20 in free Nintendo eShop card codes. Right after he asked for only $10. I mean, I'm not giving him either amount. Dude is an idiot and doesn't deserve it, and there's already a process for distributing free stuff on this website:

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Mid-Round Round 32 Leaderboard

I don't even have a Nintendo eShop card code to give out. But I do have a $10 Amazon gift card code to give out, and that's the prize for Round 32 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program. Here is who is most likely to win it, as of writing:
  1. Samantha Lienhard — 29 points
  2. Lheticus Videre — 27 points
  3. Nandin Lopez — 8 points
  4. Kody B. — 5 points
  5. ShinyGirafarig — 5 points
  6. deltor_tech — 4 points

Who is that last guy? I dunno, but he filled out the KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XXV. Perhaps you should, too. (As well as KoopaTV Quiz Part XXV.) He had good things to say, by the way. You don't have to.

Corrections Corner; May 2020

While no KoopaTV commenter pointed out anything inaccurate that needed to be corrected, I feel the need to own up to a mistake I made that is still pretty relevant and I want to make sure everyone reading this understands the truth.

In the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate North American Online Open May 2020 (now going into June 2020 for six out of eight regions in North America), the SUNDAY FINALS ROUND that gets livestreamed is between four total contestants, two from each region pair. (For example, two from Region 7 and two from Region 8.) These two people are supposed to be the two finalists in each region's Top 32 single-elimination bracket, which is composed of the top 32 ranked folks from the three-hour ladder phase.

My mistake was initially reporting that four people from each region (the Top 32's semi-finals) would go to the FINALS ROUND, for eight people total. This was based on some poorly-worded information from Nintendo's legalese ruleset, and it has also confused many other players. The article has since been corrected.

KoopaTV Vs. China; May 2020

KoopaTV still isn't blocked yet from mainland China. I'll need to write more mean things about the Chinese Communist Party. And I will. Stay tuned.

Share KoopaTV to people you know, especially if they're Chinese Communist Party officials. In case you don't know those, then sharing it to normal people (or...slightly abnormal, because KoopaTV would be a lot more mainstream if it appealed to normies) is a good idea too.

KoopaTV's April 2020 newsletter (which announced the China initiative, as well as the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 32) is here. 
KoopaTV's June 2020 newsletter (next month, concludes Round 32, too) is here!
KoopaTV's May 2019 newsletter is here, announcing an improved site experience for subscriptions. You should subscribe to KoopaTV, too.
If you thought the worst comment of May 2020 was bad, wait until you check out May 2021's.


  1. Not just a best comment, but the LONGEST best comment this time. I'm not usually so verbose, despite enjoying large words. I guess I was really really interested huh?

    1. Long comments are good!

      We hope there's more Origami King news in June, so we'll opinionate on it, and you can grace us with more...thoughtful thoughts.

    2. That would be good. Especially since it's appearing that you shouldn't hold your breath on that Little Town Hero review. The game is just dang hard and frustrating! It has good points, but I can't review a game I didn't finish.

  2. Wow, that was a blast from the past, reading through my previous "baffled" comments.

    1. Every time I come to these comments, I think of .

    2. (Reminder Sticker Star is terrible EXCEPT for the music.)


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