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Wednesday, July 1, 2020

KoopaTV's June 2020 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring progress!

In normal times, the KoopaTV June 2020 newsletter would be reviewing the month of June with a heavy focus on the events of that year's Electronic Entertainments Expo (E3). Unfortunately, there was no such conference this year—not a legitimate central one—so June was more like any other month of the year.

That said, in terms of KoopaTV, that still makes for an excellent experience, so let's talk about it. There's a brand-new opportunity starting today, as well.

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of June 2020

Core to KoopaTV is our published content that you get to interact with (and get rewarded for). Every month, we highlight the top five. That said, there are other pieces of content—they are all works of art, really—that doesn't get to be in the top five, and they're still absolutely things you should check out.

  1. Not All Cops Are Bad. This One Stomped on Mario! — It's super-important to note the relationship between us Koopas and your Earth cops. It's bad. We therefore generally support measures to take the police down at least one notch... but this one guy on footage did a good thing. We think it's worth checking out.
  2. A Closer Look at Paper Mario: The Origami King — We learned a lot more in June about the battle system and characters in Paper Mario: The Origami King, and Ludwig has some thoughts and analysis on it.
  3. What or Who is a BOOMER BILL? — A KoopaTV exclusive investigation into what or who a Boomer Bill is, after the rest of the Internet is confused by the LEGO-Nintendo partnership.
  4. Pokémon Smile's “Let the camera see your face!” Made Me Pokémon Frown — Ludwig initially complained that Pokémon Smile doesn't even work and the camera feature is a fail, but it got updated, so now read his thoughts on it as an experience! (Further elaborated on later in this newsletter in the next section after the page break.)
  5. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate June 2020 Fighter Usage Stats: Last Before the Min Min Era! — As Super Smash Bros. Ultimate enters a new day in its metagame, Ludwig caps off version 7.0.0 with the final usage stats, as well as a data-driven rant about Nintendo's foolish politically correct (and detrimental) decisions around delaying their own tournament out of respect for Black Lives Matter.

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of June 2020

I mentioned content—in the context of interaction. How did you interact with it? Mostly by posting comments in every article's comments section. Here were the best (and worst) ones in chronological order:
  1.  “I think I'll actually get this, to get that Zapdos and a few other reasons. Also, recently I went to a drive-through safari with my mom for our belated annual Mother's Day activity, where I saw some of the Earth versions of Bouffalant, or at least a cousin of theirs, longhorn cattle. They were one of the more majestic animals we saw.” — Lheticus Videre
  2. “Okay, well the thing is, with me and 10, each successive number is harder to reach. And to be worse than a 5 a game has to be genuinely bad in some way. Like...Sticker Star for me is a 5 and Paper Jam is sort of debated in my head as either a 5 or a 4. I thought putting TTYD as a 9 would have illustrated that--other than Breath of the Wild I can't remember even playing another game that I'd describe as a 10.

    So to put it another way, from Sticker Star to Color Splash they improved by 1 point. From Color Splash to Origami King they've improved another 2 points, which going from 6 to 8 would be comparable to going from 5 to 6 probably about a half-dozen times. Color Splash got me cautiously optimistic about the series' future. Now, I'm GENUINELY optimistic. And anyone who knows me could tell you that REALLY takes some doing.” — Lheticus Videre
  3. “Are you sure it's noninteractive? We chose Bulbasaur and Bulbasaur does not use razor leaf at the plaqued Pokémon if my daughter stops brushing her teeth, if she is too slow the attacks come out slower. One night she was fast enough to whipe away the smaller Pokémon quarding the boss Pokémon and to clear the boss Pokémon of its purple but last night she was too slow so smaller Pokémon kept showing up taking Bulbasaur's attacks instead of the boss.

    The trailer suggests it is made for young children and their parents supervising them. I hold the phone and track her face while she focuses on brushing and fighting the plaque Pokémon. She used to resist brushing her molars now when reminded she actually does because this game encouraged her.” — ShinyGirafarig 

Alright, why were these the best? Well, for one, I'm biased and like seeing cattle referred to as majestic. Just as I was writing this newsletter, and without me actually soliciting it, Kamek sent me over this picture that he apparently took during his Earth travels (I won't say where it was, since it's a...“cowvert operation”):

Colorado cattle off the road arid plains cows bulls little grass
Where... is all of the grass? What are these cute cattle actually eating?
You humans keep destroying the environment and leaving these moo-ing beauties with only scraps!

I was also amused by Mr. Videre's logarithmic scale of game optimism.

As for the comment on Pokémon Smile, I have yet another photograph to offer:

Pokémon Smile Ludwig Von Koopa plushie Plushwig Kabuto Squirtle
Pokémon Smile can take photos of you while you interact with it.
And then you can decorate them and save them.
I caught a Kabuto with MAGIC!

It's so non-interactive, that all I had to do was put my plush face in front of the camera and wave my wand around in front of my mouth, which was closed. (Though there's my tooth sticking out... but I don't believe you need that. For the game.) As long as there is a moving object in front of something the game believes to be a face, it'll be satisfied. You don't have to have a brush. It can even be your finger or claw. 

Oh, the comment itself was fine. I liked the information presented.

As for the worst comment...
“im mighty angry at my wifi router for providing lag” — Unknown
I just want to note that we've never heard from this guy ever again, so I can only assume that he angrily (and in a mighty mannerism) destroyed his router, which he blamed for his lag issues. The comment was in an article about Team Kirby Clash Deluxe for the 3DS, which doesn't even have online multiplayer (unlike the Switch version, Super Kirby Clash), so I'm not sure why he was even complaining about lag. But now he's apparently without a router.

Rest in pieces?

KoopaTV doesn't generally encourage violence against your own hardware. At the very least, take it to an electronics recycling area.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 32 RESULTS!

The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 32 prize is a $10 Amazon gift card code. The winner, in a fortune-reversal from last month's mid-round leaderboard, is...
  1. Lheticus Videre—62 points
  2. Samantha Lienhard—38 points
  3. ShinyGirafarig—14 points
  4. Kody B.—13 points
  5. Jack Warner—10 points 
I'll be sending Mr. Videre his code in short order.

What is the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program? Well, meet the next section...

Announcing KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 33!

The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program is a feature that you'll only (to my knowledge) find on KoopaTV, and that's more than just because the name of it has KoopaTV in it. It turns KoopaTV from a quirky site that spews propaganda that you read into a competitive interactive game that you play (at no cost to you). By interacting with the site in various ways (as outlined at that hyperlink), you'll be entered into the program for the round, with all of your points tracked in a publicly-viewable, very transparent spreadsheet. That makes winning 100% skill-based.

For Round 33, it will last throughout the months of July and August 2020, and the prize will once again be another $10 Amazon gift card code. ...I, uh, hope to replenish my inventory of Nintendo eShop gift card codes, but since I can't guarantee that, I'll offer this instead.

Note: The KoopaTV Feedback Forms and Quizzes will be on hiatus for this round, since taking them away for a round gets more people to fill them out the next time. You can still give your feedback directly to KoopaTV's staff, however.

Corrections Corner; June 2020

There were no on-site corrections made during the month of June 2020. KoopaTV is committed to factual accuracy and the truth!

KoopaTV Vs. China; June 2020

Uh... Comparitech is giving me non-descriptive error messages when I try to see if is banned from China, and has contradictory information and apparently times out. But passes both just fine without issue. I'll try looking at this again tomorrow and edit with results.

Edit: says we're not blocked in China yet. Comparitech is just giving error messages.

Editorially, however, I'll proceed as if we're not blocked yet.

You should share this newsletter—or any contents contained inside (or even content contained outside but still on—out to your fellow people! Referral traffic definitely helps out KoopaTV and makes Ludwig a happy troublemaking Koopaling, so do it.

Last month's May 2020 review newsletter is over here!
Next month's July 2020 newsletter is here. It's... taking another tone.
Last year's June 2019 review newsletter is over here.
Next year's June 2021 newsletter is this way. E3 is back.


  1. It just does not feel the same without E3 this year. I hope that a Nintendo Direct will be revealed soon that will at least remedy some of the situation.

    1. After those two Pokémon Presents disasters... I'm not feeling it. >_>

    2. After the freaking Treehouse, I'm REALLY not feeling it.

  2. For the first time, I've gotten two Best Comments in one review! I feel pretty special for that, actually.

  3. So, um. It's been nearly a week and I still haven't got the code from you. I'm starting to suspect that you sent it and it didn't go through, or something?