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Sunday, June 13, 2021

Xbox & Bethesda Games Showcase at E3 2021 KoopaTV's Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A games showcase featuring more than two-dozen games. No movies or TV shows!

Today marks one of the more major days for E3 2021 (and you can keep up with it on our E3 Weeks 2021 Schedule). Microsoft will be presenting Xbox games, and they're also bringing recent acquisition Bethesda to show content as well—and Bethesda used to have their own conference, so it's convenient to consolidate it.

Your KoopaTV personalities live-reacting to this showcase—which is very focused on games—are myself... and Heavy Lobster, though it seems preoccupied watching some baseball game.

[12:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.twitch.tv/e3
Microsoft is coming in a few minutes, featuring Bethesda.
[12:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Get in there now so the mandatory 30-second ad is out of the way.)
[12:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (They want you to buy a McDonalds chicken crispy sandwich, which I will never do.)
[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: For anyone keeping track, the E3 portal works today, unlike yesterday.
[1:01 PM] HeavyLobster: God supports Chik-Fil-A, not heathen McDonalds.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Including the forum, which features boards like "AAPI in Gaming" with 0 replies.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The E3 2021 commentators are being really weird and obnoxious and crawling on the floor.
[1:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is apparently what counts for mainstream gaming content.
[1:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, they're starting it now.
[1:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And by starting it's actually into another countdown.
[1:03 PM] HeavyLobster: I hate "gamer" pandering so much.
[1:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But at least it's a Microsoft countdown and not an E3 countdown.
[1:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Huh. They're opening with Todd.
[1:04 PM] HeavyLobster: Todd has come to tell us sweet little lies.
[1:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "for the first time in over 25 years, we're creating a new universe with Starfield."
[1:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought he'd keep going on about game transporting but I guess here's an (Alpha) in-game trailer for Starfield.
[1:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The 25 years bit is apparently how long they've been working on it, but hardware hasn't been powerful enough for their vision... not until now.
[1:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 11-11-22
[1:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...is that a release date or was that just a number that was in the in-game trailer?
[1:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Yeah it's a release date. PLAY IT DAY ONE WITH XBOX GAME PASS exclusive on the Xbox.
[1:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But if it's an in-game trailer then wot's the significance of 11-11-22 in-game?
[1:08 PM] HeavyLobster: Seems a bit bold to declare a release date a year and a half out.
[1:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm suddenly wishing that they had sub-titles like Ubisoft's.
[1:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That was actually really nice.
[1:09 PM] HeavyLobster: When Nintendo announces release years a year out they're not infrequently wrong.
[1:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Get your triple negatives outta here.
[1:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Russians.
[1:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Russians with guns, which... alright, stereotypical.
[1:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But the guns are a flashback.
[1:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or the guys talking about the fire are a flashback.
[1:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Dude is throwing some... pellet thingies in first-person and who knows.
[1:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Knowing how to get into a basement seems to be a big deal, but there's a guy dancing to a tune instead of communicating where the stairs are.
[1:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (This isn't still Starfield by the way)
[1:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't know why companies think these kinds of trailers are a good idea.

Xbox Bethesda Games Showcase Stalker 2 Heart of Chernobyl E3 2021 Skif going
Skif is going, but I gotta stay for another hour watching this.


[1:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (It's Stalker 2: Heart of Chernobyl.)
[1:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And now we're into a different game from Warner Bros. with zombies.
[1:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: At least this is an actual trailer.
[1:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "god I love Mondays" should've put your E3 on Monday then.
[1:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Back4Blood"
[1:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And now Xbox Game Studios presents an Xbox Console Exclusive...
[1:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Some kind of open world co-op with good music sense.)
[1:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Contraband"
[1:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...wait that's the trailer? ...But that didn't convey any information...
[1:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SEA OF THIEVES
[1:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Promising "a new danger."
[1:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf
[1:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Jack Sparrow?

Captain Jack Sparrow Sea of Thieves jail cell dog bone Xbox E3 2021
Captain Jack Sparrow does get freed from this cage, and will pal around with your pirates in Sea of Thieves.


[1:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Disney logo just disintegrated the RARE one.
[1:19 PM] HeavyLobster: Rare making a Pirates of the Caribbean game?
[1:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Rare's making a Pirates of the Caribbean...expansion thingy to their existing pirate game!
[1:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Better than Avatar.)
[1:20 PM] HeavyLobster: Okay then.
[1:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Sea of Thieves a Pirate's Life" "an epic original story" "coming free" "June 22nd"
[1:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A FREE expansion.
[1:21 PM] HeavyLobster: And yeah, better than Avatar.
[1:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now there's a Yakuza game collection that is rumbling the screen and I think the stream itself I dunno.
[1:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Pre-alpha gameplay" of something completely different with 128 players.
[1:23 PM] HeavyLobster: Everything's pre-alpha.
[1:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Starfield was Alpha!
[1:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is that guy gonna parachute or...
[1:24 PM] HeavyLobster: Wow. Such gameplay.
[1:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Something about chaotic warfare on a chaotic battlefield and there's a spaceship. BATTLEFIELD 2042
[1:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Electronic Arts doesn't have an E3 2021 presence but they get to appear in other people's conferences I guess. Or at least just this one.
[1:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I can't believe I'm really here! Psychonauts headquarters!" Well thanks for the title drop at the start.
[1:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I feel like everything we've seen we saw at E3 2019 so I guess nothing came out during the pandemic era.
[1:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But Psychonauts 2 is coming out this August of this year!
[1:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And now we're done looking at game trailers and going back to people talking... for the BETHESDA section.
[1:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Maybe you're in the mood for an RPG... like Skyrim!"
[1:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Yeah...sure...
[1:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wot happened to Fallout 76 being a joke?
[1:30 PM] HeavyLobster: I love technology. It's possible to watch both the UVA Super Regional and XBox E3 at once on the same computer while chatting about it.
[1:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can watch but not hear!
[1:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's "what the hell was that?" dialogue you gotta listen to 'cause it sums up my internal monologue too.
[1:31 PM] HeavyLobster: Or mute one and watch it while listening to the other.
[1:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Apparently they're now going to Pittsburgh in Fallout 76.
[1:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Plugging The Elder Scrolls Online...
[1:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...And now here's actual gameplay footage of a new game.
[1:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring cute furry animals.
[1:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Pick your fuzzy fighter!"

Party Animals Talent microphone Xbox E3 2021
If the background didn't say “Talent” I wouldn't have known that's what they're attempting to display.


[1:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some kind of fighting game of drunk furries?
[1:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Plus an octopus tentacle.
[1:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Called "Party Animals" (I really think they're drunk)
[1:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hades is being shown and I guess it wasn't on the Xbox until now?
[1:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it will be, also in August!
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now here's a walking simulator of a guy and his dog.
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Also a sleep on the couch simulator, apparently.)
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Somerville" 2022.
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can play it day one on Xbox Game Pass, with when Day 1 is being left unspecified.
[1:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 343 Industries is now here, and they're saying Halo Infinite multiplayer will be free-to-play.
[1:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Doesn't look that different than how I remember the Xbox Games Showcase that was around when E3 2020 would've been.
[1:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Alright I probably wrote that a touch too soon.
[1:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Master Chief is hearing voices in his head, which means we're also hearing voices in our head. "What happen? Where is Cortana?" (Gone.)
[1:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The mission's changed. They always do."
[1:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The multiplayer (free) and story (not free) launching later this year.
[1:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Together.

Halo Infinite multiplayer free to play single player epic campaign Xbox E3 2021
By together, that means the same release timing.
Apparently not the same package?


[1:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't know if the voices going on are in-game or people memeing on voice chat.
[1:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Xbox wants 120 frames per second to be the new standard, but here's Diablo promising optimal 60 frames per second.
[1:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I've never played a game with 120 frames per second so I don't know what that's like!
[1:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The stream is dying rapidly.
[1:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or it's this particular trailer.
[1:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Twitch doesn't think it's skipping frames.
[1:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "A Plaguetale Requiem" well I know nothing about it because the stream blew up.
[1:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ooh, I recognise that voice.
[1:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (My reaction, but also what was said in this trailer.)
[1:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's Far Cry 6.
[1:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 'cause I remember yesterday happening!
[1:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And this trailer isn't dying like Plaguetale, so I assume that particular trailer caught the Chinese Communist Party Virus and was struggling to breathe.
[1:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ('CAUSE IT'S A PLAGUE)
[1:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Unlike yesterday, there is a killer rooster involved.
[1:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's no abuela shown.
[1:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And now for something different from Monomi Park.
[1:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OOH
[1:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I see cute slimes and I get happy.

Slime Rancher 2 happy red Xbox E3 2021 games showcase
This is the most cherished moment of the entire conference.


[1:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Slime Rancher 2.
[1:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "A wiggly new adventure begins 2022"
[1:52 PM] HeavyLobster: It does actually look cute.
[1:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yet another "day one on Xbox Game Pass" with us only knowing it's in 2022.
[1:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And that goes into a substantially less cute snowboarding game.
[1:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You know, in June, and readers from the Northern Hemisphere can agree with me on this (and that's the vast majority of you), but thinking about snow isn't something I wanna do.
[1:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Apparently that got me to stop writing my thoughts here entirely because there's just been weird esoteric trailers of games since.)
[1:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I keep calling "zip lines" "pulleys" in my Ring Fit Adventure fitness logs.
[1:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But whatever the heck is going on in this trailer reminded me that "zip line" is what it actually is.
[1:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I appreciate this game apparently has an arachnophobia mode.
[1:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Among Us"
[1:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now with 15 player lobbies, coming June 15.
[1:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I forgot that was an actual game that could appear at E3, as opposed to being a digital cultural phenomenon.
[1:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this an RPG?
[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Because it looks really nice.
[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: YOOO WE GOT A JAPANESE RPG IN HERE?
[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Eiyuden Chronicle: hundred Heroes"
[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And "Eiyuden Chronicle Rising"
[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Coming 2022 and coming 2023?
[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...2023?!??!
[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright so it might as well not exist.
[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nevermind then.
[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Meanwhile, this new trailer is glitching out.
[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't know if that's part of the game's aesthetic or wot but we're moving on already.
[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now we have a movie trailer?
[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: About history.
[2:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...nevermind it's a game.
[2:02 PM] HeavyLobster: Clash of Clans HD?
[2:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Age of Empires IV.
[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now we begin hearing an old wise sounding voice.
[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This seems to be a meta-aware narrator.
[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With "pointless slow-motion shots make everything seem cool."
[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "And there shall be lens flares."
[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The developers haven't finished anything  besides the title, and it's The Outer Worlds 2.
[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Not to be confused with the Outer Wilds.)
[2:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: We have the critically acclaimed Microsoft Flight Simulator, and if anyone out there actually has played it, I'd be very interested in... soliciting a guest article on KoopaTV from you about your experience.
[2:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Landing on Xbox Series X|S" in July.
[2:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And we're going from superior planes to inferior cars.
[2:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring censored f-bomb lyrics.
[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Censored multiple times.)
[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Forza Horizon 5 coming November 9.
[2:09 PM] HeavyLobster: I don't particularly care about the stuff Microsoft's been showing but at least their presentation has been about games, so I guess they're ahead of yesterday's presentations.
[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mike Brown at Playground Games (creative director) is now greeting us, instead of giving us another trailer right away. Telling us Forza Horizon will be in Mexico as the BIGGEST OPEN WORLD EVER.
[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Portraying a giant Mexican desert.
[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There are "talented actors" named "Abraham".
[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You're going on an adventurous journey in Mexico driving over a river.
[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm really trying not to make illegal immigration/coyote jokes.
[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "That's a peek at our game."
[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The scene looks real... but there are no tricks. This is in-game."
[2:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (CAR PORN)

Forza Horizon 5 Mexican Road Xbox Games Showcase E3 2021
My screenshot clearly doesn't do all of their visual effects justice.
(You driving around and not stopping to observe the scenery probably won't, ether.)


[2:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Something about carefully crafted realistic volcanoes and vision.
[2:13 PM] HeavyLobster: Please don't go there, because it makes me think of CARS r34.
[2:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So I guess it's not just car porn but Mexican landmark porn.
[2:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...and there's a battle royale thrown into the game too because why not.
[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They took 12K 24-hour cameras to have the "authentic Mexican sky" for the game.
[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With frame-by-frame lighting changes.
[2:15 PM] HeavyLobster: I mean it is graphically impressive.
[2:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I agree!
[2:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now they're popping Mexican pinatas in a minigame.
[2:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...and bowling pins in a stadium.
[2:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Create your own races, game modes, and gameplay experiences."
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Probably better than Game Builder Garage.
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 'cause THESE CARS AIN'T IN THE GARAGE.
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I'll see you all in Mexico later this year." Yeah hell no.
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Phil Spencer, head of Xbox, has finally appeared in this.
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Today we showed you 30 games. 27 of them will be available on Xbox Game Pass."
[2:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Phil is shaming those 3 hold-outs.

Phil Spencer 20 years Xbox anniversary shirt E3 2021
Phil Spencer happy about 20 years of the Xbox.


[2:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Best RPG storytellers."
[2:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The Elder Scrolls 6"
[2:17 PM] HeavyLobster: It's all about the Game Pass.
[2:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He said The Elder Scrolls 6!
[2:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...He didn't show it but he said it!
[2:18 PM] HeavyLobster: Can't show it because they had to announce Skyrim to Game Pass first.
[2:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "one more thing"
[2:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: From a Bethesda studio, yet another "open-world immersive shooter."
[2:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Xbox exclusive."
[2:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (From Arkane Austin specifically.)
[2:20 PM] HeavyLobster: UVA-DBU still scoreless through 7.
[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Showing a cutscene of said shooting.
[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: In a city that's on fire.
[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some kind of vampire with a Sephiroth aura.
[2:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is apparently in Massachusetts.
[2:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some kind of citizen journalists with guns and special powers.
[2:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The vampires can catch bullets in mid-air but get pwned by flamethrowers.
[2:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this really "open world"?
[2:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Screen close to black and lots of bulletfire.
[2:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Vampires taste like blood and dust and strawberry.
[2:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "REDFALL" Summer 2022.
[2:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Closing montage time.
[2:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (There was a lot of 2022 in this.)
[2:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (...and the most interesting thing was 2023.)
But also very near coming soon 2021 things so maybe that's okay.
[2:25 PM] HeavyLobster: Why do we need a closing montage? It just feels self-indulgent.
[2:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So you don't forget the things from the beginning because it was, like, 80 minutes ago.
[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Thanks for watching!" And we're done.
[2:26 PM] HeavyLobster: Nintendo doesn't need to do that.
[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...We'll see if they do that anyway on Tuesday.
[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...There's still stuff going on in the stream.
[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: An Xbox mini fridge.
[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...??????
[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Xbox and Chill" Holiday 2021.
[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Okay I guess NOW it's over.
[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...
[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Unironically want to know more about the Xbox Mini Fridge.



Stay tuned—there's even more E3 2021 coverage coming later today! In the meantime, what did you think about what Microsoft had to show today?


Check out KoopaTV's Microsoft E3 2019 reaction log here.
Back in 2019, Bethesda also had their own separate conference.
Square was what was coming later on Sunday...They were yikes.
Ludwig addresses the pulley vs. zip line part of this reaction log in the following fitness log.

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