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Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Two-Player LEGO Mario and LEGO Luigi with a WEIRD Trailer

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (I wanted to try capitalising something besides LEGO in that headline.)

We knew that the “LEGO Super Mario Adventures with Luigi Starter Course” was “compatible” with the rest of the LEGO Super Mario series, but now we know that there is a two-player functionality (or Bluetooth connectivity) between LEGO Luigi and LEGO Super Mario. Or as the press release says, “any combination of the two figures” meaning two LEGO Luigis or two LEGO Marios.

Here's the promised “WEIRD Trailer” from the headline. Watch it, and I'll try to convince you how it's tied in with Mario corrupting the kids:




Here's a summary in case the video gets down for violating YouTube's rules against violent or repulsive content/harmful or dangerous acts: LEGO Mario and LEGO Luigi greet one another, controlled by two seemingly ordinary human girls (at least, I think they're girls, but you never know nowadays with “gender fluidity” and all, especially with children being caught up in that at such a young age). Mario repeatedly stomps on a Bone Goomba, while LEGO Luigi knocks a Boom Boom minding its own business off a tower. The Boom Boom flew pretty far into an unknown but desolate location, but LEGO Mario somehow caught up to the Boom Boom's likely lifeless body and started stomping on it anyway. LEGO Luigi joined his brother in that. The two girls then start doing a mysterious, choreographed dance while holding the LEGO brothers in their hands. Simultaneously, LEGO Mario and LEGO Luigi rate the dance with “NICE!” The girls then jump off some stairs and are never seen landing, but we next see LEGO Mario and LEGO Luigi attacking a Bone Goomba and abusing a Grrrol. The two brothers are tag-teaming to abuse a Lakitu on two sides, eventually knocking off the Lakitu off its cloud platform. The two girls are then doing yet another choreographed dance, which once again, the brothers deem “NICE!” The human girls are then... walking up a wall in their house, and dancing while standing on the purely vertical wall. They then rest on the ground and high-five one another, satisfied with their mischief. But then Bowser's Airship flies in, with Kamek and a Goomba with a really cool hat on it. (There's also a hidden Rocky Wrench.) The two brothers are seen ominously waddling towards the airship, and the trailer ends.

I think that qualifies as WEIRD. And extremely murderous. Like, poor Bone Goomba especially, getting hurt the most. (Though I guess Boom Boom might've had the most pain.) All of these victims were just living out their lives, resting, whatever. Those blocky plumbers corrupted those girls’ minds.


LEGO Super Mario Luigi team up for two player adventures trailer adult man confused face look
This guy looked like the Only Sane (Hu)Man of the video. (Besides the dog.)
...Until about 1:02.


We don't know if the girls were pathologically ill before being exposed to the LEGO Super Mario brothers, but they're certainly enabling it. However, it's highly likely that the walking on walls thing isn't a normal thing they were doing in their lives. That's straight out of Super Mario Galaxy. Those girls are taking after Mario in breaking LAWS... including breaking the laws of gravity. They're already law-breaking criminals. ...Well, not counting the murder laws, which we've covered at the original LEGO announcement. Like, the fact that the trailer included the dance/gravity-breaking human segments at all was to demonstrate that as a selling point of buying the product. If you're a disciple of LEGO Mario, you too can do this.

By the way, the Bowser's Airship Expansion Set costs $100 and apparently has 1152 pieces, which sounds ridiculously high. (Both the price and the piece count.) It'll release on August 1 along with the LEGO Luigi Starter Course, plus the $30 Boss Sumo Bro Topple Tower Expansion Set (with a Crowber), the $40 Lakitu Sky World Expansion Set (with Lakitu, Bullet Bill, and Fuzzy), the $70 Reznor Knockdown Expansion Set (featuring two Reznors, Blue Toad, and Grrrol), the $10 Frog Mario Power-Up Pack, the also $10 Bee Mario Power-Up Pack (learn more about the costume packs here), and another gacha Character Pack that could contain one of Galoomba, Parachute Bob-omb, Crowber, Boo, Amp, Torpedo Ted, Bony Beetle, 1-Up Mushroom, Scuttlebug, or Swoop for $5 per pack open.


LEGO Super Mario Luigi jumping on Sumo Bro
Two thugs wickedly assaulting the fat kid who can't fight back. (One of the thugs is also fat, but...)


Kamek looks absolutely terrible in LEGO form, and I hope he's not offended by me writing that. I've already told him I feel that way. His only reaction was “Oh my” and he said nothing else. ...What else really has to be said?

LEGO Super Mario Bowser's Airship Expansion Kamek Goomba Luigi
While Kamek looks terrible, that Goomba's hat looks awesome and I want one.



If YOU think there is more that has to be said, feel free to say it in the comments section. For example, if you know where to buy that Goomba hat, or if you're definitely joining in the boycott against these products that teach extremely bad behaviour to kids.


Ludwig thought he'd be the first KoopaTV staffer to be a LEGO since Larry Koopa was, but it's Kamek, so...
Bullet Bill was previously exclusive to a gacha Character Pack.

6 comments :

  1. I know my daughters are not going to get this product.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm just going to buy the sets to make the tallest flagpole possible

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's... totally the opposite of helping a boycott. <_<;

      You could make a tall flagpole out of anything. Including existing other LEGO sets.

      Delete
    2. once you've made a flagpole that's twice as tall as a normal one, there's really no escaping the rabbit hole

      Delete
    3. (You could've made that into a really cool rhyme.)

      Delete

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