KoopaTV's June 2023 Review Newsletter — The FINAL Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You'll want to read this entire newsletter if you care even a little about KoopaTV!

I don't want to write this newsletter, since I know what it represents (and you should click that link if you don't understand why it's the last newsletter), and it's not something I like.

For more information on that, read to the end of this newsletter.

Don't miss KoopaTV's new videogame, Fire Withdraw!

You might not have expected KoopaTV to publish a videogame on the Sunday before this newsletter was to go out. But it happened! It's a very rare and fortunate event. ...And you ought to go play Fire Withdraw, too, instead of just marveling at its existence. You can play Fire Withdraw directly from KoopaTV for free, even. (Play it on a PC.)

The answer to the second question should be “Yes” if you focus hard enough.
But you gotta prove it!

Hm, I'm just now reminding myself that I (or multiple people) need to go update the TV Tropes pages for both our videogames and our website as a whole.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of June 2023

June 2023 was pretty much the only month of KoopaTV's ten-year history where I had a plan for what to publish on every day of the month. However, FakE3 events kept popping up that needed a Reaction Log, so that bumped off content that will now just never exist. ...So it's hard to pick just five articles from a month that had a lot of high-intent works, several of which I've wanted to write for YEARS. Here's my attempt (that ends up omitting all of those Reaction Logs) in chronological order:

1. Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl Resolved Many of Diamond & Pearl's Release-Era Issues — This article exists on the theory that the issues identified near when a game is initially released are more authentic problems than those that crop up several years later, which are prone to outside influences and unrelated biases. Based on that, Ludwig compared the noted negatives of Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl a decade and a half ago with what Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl did, to try to mend the latter's poor fan reputations.
2. The Mushroom Kingdom Hyperinflation and its Problem for the Koopa Clan — The monetary mismanagement caused by Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom causes great damage to the Koopa Kingdom, and that's why Koopa Kingdom's interventions are justified.
3. Pokémon Stadium Kids Club Minigame Tier List — There are nine minigames in Pokémon Stadium—which are the worst and which are the best? And why?
4. Mario's Subcon Dream Comes From Childhood Memories — There is a very close tie between Mario dreaming about Subcon compared to his memories as a baby, which this article explores.
5. Left-Handedness Deserves More Recognition — The left-handed witch, Witch Princess, discusses her difficulties operating in a world and gaming ecosystem designed for right-handed people.

Hm, that's overwhelmingly biased towards the last week of June. In times like that, I'll say that every KoopaTV article is worth reading and checking out. And you ought to do just that. Especially since there won't be any new articles coming out—so you'll be able to much more easily catch up than ever before! Now... let's move on to the user-generated parts (and afterwards, a big list of KoopaTV prize winners, and concluding thoughts you'll want to see):

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of June 2023

You will still be able to make comments on KoopaTV—and they might even still get replied to. However, this will be the last time that your comments are going to be featured in a newsletter, so I hope you don't have any regrets at this point!

1. “"I went exclusively with the Tenta Sorella Brella, since I believe the canopy is useful since it can absorb one Trizooka blast."
   
   Ink Mines were also really helpful as then I have an easier time knowing where to aim the Trizookas.” — ShinyGirafarig
2. “"I'm a bit upset that KoopaTV won't be around to write about the Splatfest. :("
   "KoopaTV can't end anytime sooner!"
   
   Is this a sign of mixed feelings?
   
   Back on the topic of the Direct, I'm excited for a lot of the games here. I've been waiting for the Detective Pikachu sequel, so I want that. I share your feelings on Super Mario RPG, but the remake looks pretty great, so I'm tempted. Dragon Quest Monsters looks good, too! The Star Ocean 2 remake news is huge to me, so that's definitely one I want. (I'm also interested in Persona 5 Tactica, but that was already revealed, and potentially the Peach game, depending on what it is.)” — Samantha Lienhard
3. “I didn't realize the studio behind Yoshi's New Island, Hey! Pikmin, and Balan Wonderworld was behind the new Sonic game. At least the initial hands-on impressions are generally positive.
   
   Lheticus Videre's wish came true. I never played SMRPG but have heard a lot of praise of it over the years. It's still too early to tell how the new Peach game will turn out, and while I'm not interested in it, the Luigi's Mansion Dark Moon remaster opens the doors for future 3ds ports (Kid Icarus: Uprising please). SMB Wonder looks similar to the NSMB games but with more expressive animations and character designs reminiscent of the N64 era renders. Playable Daisy is also a nice touch.
   
   My only experience with Pikmin was with the first game on the Wii, and I couldn't really get into it. I did get the third game digitally on the Wii U for free thanks to a promotion at the time, so perhaps I can give the series another try.
   
   I always enjoy a good 3d platformer, and the fact Penny's Big Breakaway is developed by the Sonic Mania team really inspires trust in me that it will be great.
   
   Overall, the past two directs were solid. I would have liked to have seen some of the Level-5 games again with release dates, but I hope they will appear in the next one. Lastly, Team Mint Chocolate Chip will come out minty fresh leaving Team Vanilla and Strawberry Crest-fallen.” — Kody B.

ShinyGirafarig and I also played the “Foggy Notion” Challenge together, which had Fog of War appear on the stage at certain times during the Turf War. The density of the fog also varied. In that case, both of our weapons of choice became the Custom Splattershot Jr., where both its enemy-homing Torpedo Sub Weapon and its enemy-tracking Wave Breaker Special Weapon provided us and our other team members valuable intelligence on the whereabouts of our otherwise shrouded foes. This was pretty much us:

(If that video embed one day breaks, it's Sonja using her Enhanced Vision CO Power from Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp.)

Interestingly enough, there wasn't much Ink Mine use!

Regarding my sign of mixed feelings, yes, I contradicted myself in the same reaction log regarding KoopaTV's future. But that's based on newly acquired information about Super Mario Bros. Wonder's existence, and I certainly don't envy people who'll have to cover that. It rubs me the wrong way.

As for the Splatfest, it's Team Vanilla Ice Cream all the way. I'm upset I won't be able to write about that in detail, though... I don't actually know what I'd say. Vanilluxe is a great Pokémon, but is also not actual ice cream. Vanilla ice cream tastes great on its own, and also goes well with pretty much every topping. My impression of mint-based ice cream is that it tastes like toothpaste, and strawberry ice cream is alright, but I don't feel strongly about it and it's never my first choice.

Moving on to Kody B.'s comment, I liked that he remembered Lheticus Videre's favouritism around Super Mario RPG, since I didn't even remember that detail. (Lheticus was nowhere to be seen during June, unfortunately.) (There might be another comment thread where Lheticus more explicitly desired for Super Mario RPG to return, but in that one he portrays the game as underrated.) Anyway, Kody B. did a nice job explaining what he liked and still wants to see, and pointing out Arzest's miserable existence as the developer of Sonic Superstars is a good call-out.

As for the final worst comment... this wasn't actually the objectively poorest comment made, but I wanted to feature it in the newsletter to give it a proper response. (There were some really weird comments made last month that are far stranger and bewildering than this, though a few of those were from the same author. ...Some weren't.)

1. “Isn’t there a female version of Ike, what’s her name? Maybe she is the gay one. They say there’s a good twin and a bad twin. These days it’s straight twin and gay twin. It will be interesting to see all the companies immediently changing their logos tomorrow. ” — Captain Stitch

Interestingly, some companies haven't changed their logos yet. Perhaps because it's a long weekend.

Anyway, Ike does not have a female twin. He has a sister. Her name is Mist. (We don't know her sexual and romantic orientations, but it's likely hetero for both, given her opportunity to marry Boyd, a boy, though she also would be happy to live alone.) I'm pretty sure Captain Stitch is thinking about Marth and Lucina, but they aren't twins, either. Lucina just disguises herself as Marth for a little bit, but Marth is actually her very distant ancestor. (Lucina is also not gay, since her character endings tend to involve her getting married to guys.) Marth himself is also not gay—he is married to Sheeda (or Caeda). Here's all of this visually shown in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate:

Ike (see bottom left corner; blue hair) is the son of Elena (mom; blue hair) and Greil (dad; brown hair). He's from the continent of Tellius.
Mist (brown hair) is Ike's little sister and only relative. She's decent at cooking. Ike likes spicy meat dishes, so that explains the Mouthful of Curry.
Soren is Ike's tactician, a Wind Mage / Sage, and close confidant. Ike is not homosexual for Soren.
Marth (bottom centre; blue hair) is an alleged hero of Archanea. For more information, see the two Marth Day articles. One calls him crazy. The other believes he's boring.
Caeda (blue hair) is Marth's wife (though she wasn't when Marth's adventure began). She is a Pegasus Knight, hence the Jump↑.
Lucina (bottom right; blue hair) is a descendant of Marth on the continent of Ylisse, which used to be Archanea + the continent of Valm. She's a fan of Marth's legacy, and the daughter of Chrom.

By the way, Fire Emblem (also known as “Fire Emblem 7” or “Fire Emblem: The Blazing Sword”) is now available for Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack subscribers. I just beat Eliwood Normal Mode today. It's quite easy. I'm bringing it up because if you're a Super Smash Bros. player and wondering where Roy came from, he's not related to any of the above, but he is Eliwood's son (and gets his own Japan-only game).

From left-to-right: Hector, marquess of Ostia; Roy, son of Eliwood; Eliwood, marquess of Pherae.
Ostia and Pherae are both territories in the Lycian League, which is a country on the continent of Elibe, which has no relation to Tellius or Archanea.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 50 RESULTS!

Now then... what happened with the biggest KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program round EVER? Here are the final results:

1. ShinyGirafarig — 81 points — $50 Vanilla MasterCard Debit card details
2. Captain Stitch — 74 points — $40 worth of Amazon gift card codes (in the form of four $10 card codes)
3. Kody B. — 29 points — $30 worth of Nintendo eShop card codes (in the form of one $20 Nintendo eShop card code plus one $10 Nintendo eShop card code)
4. Samantha Lienhard — 19 points — $20 Nintendo eShop card code
5. C.Mechayoshi — 18 points — $10 Amazon gift card code

Y'all winners are free to negotiate if you want to trade your prize with someone else in the comments section. I won't send them out for a... little while. I mean, I could. If you want. Some of those could outright fund a purchase of Ghost Trick! (If you're wondering after the fact, every code was sent out by July 13.)

I've also updated the KoopaTV Loyalty Leaderboard spreadsheet with a listing of all of the prizes given out on KoopaTV over the years and who won them. It's $1,346.21 worth of stuff, assuming I properly counted everything. (Which maybe I didn't, since I made the list now, as opposed to making it over the span of ten years.) Personally, I wish it was $1337. Here is a list of all of the (fifteen) people who ever got something from KoopaTV, in most-to-least order:

1. ShinyGirafarig — $422.05
2. Captain Stitch — $289.18
3. Kody B. — $198.98
4. Lheticus Videre — $190
5. Samantha Lienhard — $106
6. Martino X — $50
7. Nandin Lopez — $20
8. Ray — $10
8. PROHACKER08 — $10
8. C.Mechayoshi — $10
8. Vanessa Tsukino — $10
8. charssie god — $10
13. Ringabel Brave— $8
14. JoystickLad — $6
14. The Blue Yoshi — $6

Corrections Corner; June 2023

ShinyGirafarig pointed out that I mistakenly wrote that Humpback Pump Track was a game, as opposed to a stage. My main focus was on correctly naming Humpback Pump Track, to the exclusion of correctly classifying it. Thanks!

And while this correction wasn't made in the month of June 2023, Captain Stitch wanted the Fire Withdraw announcement article to be pristine, and pointed out that I wrote violet instead of violent. Good call.

Final Words From KoopaTV's Staff

People have been telling me to beg King Bowser to keep KoopaTV up. But I can't exactly contest his reasoning. Especially with regards to the video essay thing. For example, the day after I published KoopaTV's top-five-recommended-in-June-2023 article about hyperinflation of the gold coin and the impacts of that (opening up with the Mushroom Kingdom coin-Beanbean Kingdom coin exchange rate and how it rapidly fluctuates), this small YouTuber Archduck Productions pretty much takes the exact same gist of my article but gets many more times the views on it than what KoopaTV's article received. Is my article better than his video? I think so, both in terms of truth and levity. But what will the average Internet browsing person see if they look for discussion on the topic? His video, not the KoopaTV article. And it's not like I should be happy that my point is getting across to a wider audience—he has... a significantly different conclusion than I do. Unfortunately, this website format is just outclassed in terms of how most people want to actually consume information.

And I have no unironic interest to ever go into video essays. I don't want to work in something that I loathe.

So what will happen next? I still don't know. I know I've had some time to think about it. But I dunno. I'll still hold onto KoopaTV's social media accounts, but maybe I'll rebrand them to my personal accounts.

If you really want to be notified about what's next when we know what's next (if there is a next for any of the staff), put your name into our email subscription box. If nothing happens afterwards, you won't receive any mail. If something does happen and we want to let you know, then you get the information that you signed up for. I'm quite confident, as a normal recipient of our email list myself, that your email address won't be used for anything else, so you have nothing to lose.

Sign up to know what happens next (if anything)!

So... bye-bye, folks! Ludwig very much enjoyed building a community for the past decade. Ludwig has the website backed up as an .xml file that's over 77 MB in size, but you may wish to archive all of KoopaTV's pages using services such as the Internet Archive Wayback Machine and archive.is. Please feel free to do so. You probably didn't expect an extended Fire Emblem discussion on KoopaTV's last newsletter, but that's one of the fun parts about the site. Unfortunately, other websites aren't as fun and serendipitous as this one. KoopaTV acknowledges the hole being left behind.


For continuity, click here to warp to last month's May 2023 newsletter.
Last year's June 2022 newsletter began by remarking how the site is alive. How things change...